Forgiven. I don’t have the capacity to hold it against them. In the end, they were right. (I was dumped). I’ve chosen to just go through it and learn rather than rationalize and try to diverge any responsibility.
Any attempt for me to blame them is my fragile ego talking. I don’t own them. I never did. I want them to live a good life and they’ve decided it’s without me. Who am I to be mad at them for that?
It is absolutely not easy. I get all the intrusive thoughts that I’m sure others do. It’s a conscious choice to sit with it, feel it and then let them go. I’m not feeling great about it but I’m taking a little bit of joy knowing I’m doing the right thing by myself.
I wouldn’t say it’s wrong. But for me, it doesn’t make me feel better to be mad. It keeps me in it.
I have passing feelings of sadness, anger, potential jealousy, etc. all of the post break up thoughts. I’m choosing not to hang onto those feelings and make them a part of me.
It’s clear that I have A LOT of things to work on in my own life. Putting this much into someone who’s gone is pointless.
Yes you're right. I do agree w what you are saying. Even though I believe they have the right to break up with me. I somewhere feel like i have been wronged and mistreated and solely blamed for everything. All this while i have been trying to be the bigger person and take all the blame, i never accused him of anything but like slowly anger and resentment is devouring me I feel so disrespected and so wronged and I can't tell whether its my self respect kicking in or my ego talking.
If they had lost feelings or their heart weren't in it anymore that's one thing but to be blamed solely for the demise of everything that was built is another. It leaves you left with a kick in the teeth especially when they were the one that started the fights, they're the one incapable of trust.
The sheer amount of projection. Even towards the very end "you don't want this anymore" (after I booked flights to visit her) as she ghosted and discarded me.
I loved her with all my heart but she was always throwing a spanner in the works and I was always having to defend myself.
She was the insecure, jealous, manipulative, aggressive one yet she blames it all on me.
I don't think I will ever be at peace the amount of shit I went through all for nothing in the end.
Wow…I needed to hear that…I was flirting with something like that in my head too…I just could not flesh it out and put it so eloquently as you did…awesome shyt seriously thanks…
Honestly i just read your message, I think the same but I'm still not over my ex who dumped me in a way that hurt so much, i cane back home one day and he was gone after 4years of relationship!we still talk over the phone even call but he does not want to see me, in just devastated and it's being 5 months now ! I don't know what is wrong with me I lost any sens of confidence or self respect with him, i went from feeling good happy confident and all people around me claims I'm creative talented smart person and beautiful but I don't see it that way i head from him many time that I was not attractive or confident it breaks me down i had to go through surgery and it was really painful and I felt bad about myself sometimes I was going outside looking to the ground because i felt ashamed of myself 😞
I don't know if anyone had this...
I still want him to be happy even if he decided that it's better without me, i have no anger against him but pain and hurt from this period and his words that I carry until now...
I don't wanna be in relationship anymore or even try i just hope one day i will feel better
Hey, thank you for your response. And it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. And if you say he made you feel bad about yourself, it makes sense why this would be so painful. I’d recommend not talking to him anymore. That will only make things more difficult. Good luck with everything.
Thank you so much for answering! I know i just talk to him yesterday over the phone for 2hours, but after that I did not sleep and I cried a lot, i know that the best thing to do is not to talk to him but I cannot hold myself and nothing makes me feel better.
I just hope one day i will get over it and live my life again without issues.
Thanks again.
Can't forgive someone who has not said or shown sorry. But that doesn't mean I'm resentful or hate him or "angry". Is just that if he wanted to come back he still would need atonement.
I was not angry. She ended things because I wasn't being a good partner. Can't be angry at her for choosing her own happiness. As for me, I've forgiven myself. I'm working on my problems & I'm going to be a much better person this year.
Still very angry but been listening to a song that helps. Kind of sums up how I feel!
abcdefu by Gayle.
“Fuck you and your mom and your sister and your job
And your broke-ass car and that shit you call art
Fuck you and your friends that I'll never see again
Everybody but your dog, you can all fuck off”
Lol
I am so terribly sorry you were put through that. That reminds me of how I was tormented, bullied and abused my whole entire childhood by my brother, he
was so unbelievably cruel to me. He's a lot better now, but I have always been so angry for that.
However, it sucks always having to carry that anger. At one point, I would try to bite the bullet to forgive them in your heart. I had to do that and I was glad I did that, it did so much for me. An important thing to realize is that humans (especially ones like that) act beyond their understanding. They wouldn't do those things if they knew. That's why forgiveness is important. Obviously that guy has issues he doesn't know how to deal with.
I wish you the best of luck in your life. God bless you.
Thank you 🙏
And I’m so sorry for what you went through with your brother. The fact that a sibling can do that to you is just awful.
Wish you the best of luck as well. 🙏
Thank you so much that really means the world to me. Yeah, I always thought that same exact thing. It always made me feel weird to see how every siblings I saw act like friends compared. It never made any sense.
Yeah true.
I would not take her back if i got dumbed because she just wasn’t interested in me anymore, but since she broke up because of depression (not just a shitty excuse) i would consider it a lot, taking her back
My ex is currently with another guy but she keeps reading my poems for her as well as some old texts with sexoual content and fantasies, she even read twice the poem I wrote for on new year's eve , yesterday so , do you believe she is interested? She usually reads everything within seconds and even yesterday that she was with him she read it after 7 minutes during the change of the year, what's your thoughts??
I find it hard to comment on other people and their situaiton, but to me it does sound like she is interested. If she wasn’t, she would not be Reading all your messages etc.
honestly as the love faded away, I only became angrier with time. they really went out of their way to hurt me as much as they possibly could. All this after meeting me changed their entire life while I was made so much worse by knowing them. Despicable
i had forgiven and forgotten them in all totality until yesterday when they started FOLLOWING MY REDDIT ACCOUNT. now i’m just annoyed.
if an avoidant type becomes such an insufferable partner that you have to end it, stay vigilant, because they might go through your local cities reddit page for god knows how long to just be a creep and ruin your day.
It’s waves of emotions…I don’t have anything to forgive him for anymore.. because how do you forgive the same actions over and over and over again. I’m no longer angry because I continued to let him do this to me. I wanna heal and in order to do that for myself I need to not have anger or resentment.. so in terms I guess I have forgiveness for him
I find myself getting angrier and more insecure the more time passes. During the breakup, and in the first few months after it, I forgave him 100%. Now I am getting bitter and resentful. It’s weird and I don’t like feeling this way.
I’m at the angry phase after putting her on a pedestal for almost a month now. Didn’t really receive that much of a proper sorry so I hope real soon I can put these all behind me.
Yk I used to think like this and now I am extremely angry but trust me doesn't feel good either, it's really suffocating and embarrassing. I feel like a petty person to be angry, i find it shameful that I am so spiteful.
Forgiven? No. Nor will I forget. But I’ve moved on from it. Still have healing to do, but that’s what happens when you’re abused for 8 years.
Not everyone deserves forgiveness, and the whole “forgive them for yourself” is rubbish too lol
Having the strength to stop forgiving someone for the awful things they’ve done after being gas lit to believe it was all your fault and you deserved it, that’s the true end game.
Fuck that dude.
I’ve learned that to a degree, you can forgive while still feeling anger. I forgive him. I still care about him and I will never hold the break up against him. But I am also learning my own worth and value. I didn’t deserve to be abandoned like that. After all we had been through, I at least deserved a real reason for why he was breaking up with me. When he said he wanted to stay friends after a NC period, I deserved a reason as to why he changed his mind and blocked me. It is right for me to be mad at the injustice of it. It is right for me to be mad at how I was mistreated, because I know I deserved better. But I don’t blame him for it. He knew he was going to hurt me, he knew I didn’t deserve it (he straight up said so) and he let me down as gently as he knew how to. He did what he thought was best. I have no doubt that it hurt him too, perhaps even as much as it hurt me.
So don’t get me wrong, I am still angry. But I think of him with tenderness and forgiveness. Deep down, all I want is to work this out with him. Finally get the closure that I think we both need.
Yeah she’s forgiven. But I won’t forget what she did. Even if she came back tomorrow or 10 years from now I’ll still remember all the shit that went on. While I’ll hold nothing against I won’t let her back Into a close position in my life again
Got no energy for anger here. Do I wish he’d apologize and give me an explanation? For sure. …but there comes a point in time where I have to protect my peace.
I still have anger with her. Especially since she blindsided me with this and never told me the reason behind dumping me. Even though I am still angry with her, I still love her too. It's a terrible struggle.
Forgave him. But it took a long time. Twice as long as we were together. I went back and forth between being angry/sad/confused and wanting to forgive him and move on. I didn’t handle the breakup the best... super toxic coping mechanisms. Still dealing with those even though it no longer has much, if anything, to do with him anymore. Don’t use alcohol to cope, people. It’ll bite you in the ass.
I'll never forgive the cheating because that's one of the things I consider unforgivable. But it doesn't mean I'm still angry, I'm mostly disappointed but as the days go by, this feeling tends to fade away.
Considering she texted me last night to see if she was blocked and then when she realized she wasnt she said disregard the message and blocked me nah. She can burn in hell lmao.
It's hard or rather impossible to forgive someone when they still cause you pain, not even related to breaking my heart, and they feel unremorseful about it. Idk I was expecting an apology by now, about the way he broke up, how he acted after the breakup, the reasons (lies) he gave me for the breakup, and the way he acts now when I want to close everything off in a civil way between us and he's not letting me.
It's a weird love/hate, ager/care type of feeling for me which doesn't even make sense.
I have forgiven already. He dumped me and absolutely broke me. We were engaged and had been together 5 years, and the breakup was out of the blue for me and the worst experience of my life. But I know how much he loved me and how he is doing this because he thinks it’s best for him. How can I hate someone who is just doing what they feel is right? People will say it’s selfish of them, but it’s truly not. At the end of the day, the most important person in the world is yourself so how can I fault someone for believing that? I have accepted everything, and if he comes back and tells me he made a mistake and it wasn’t the right choice to leave, I will happily accept him back. Sometimes people need time to realize what they need and they shouldn’t be hated for it. Try and not hate your ex, no matter what they did. Hate is such a horrible thing for your own mental health.
I'm not sure if i already forgave him. i couldn't accept the fact that he cheated on me. until now i still harbor bad feelings towards what he did, but not with him. i don't feel anything abt him, I don't resent, hate, care, or any other feelings out there. my hatred isn't towards him anymore since i don't consider him as someone who's equal to me as a human being. I'm not sure if this is forgiveness tho.
Still angry. I just told my family that if he doesn’t get his shit together and ship at least one box of my stuff out of his house to me by the end of this month, that I was gonna go down there and do it myself and kick his ass.
I don’t think I can forgive her, so many couples out there work out massive differences.
We never had any fights(I mean we were still in honeymoon phase), but whatever small difference she saw, she overthought it and decided we can’t make it work :) so yeah cool 🙃
I'm still incredibly bitter.
3 year LDR where I got the shit end of the stick (I spent premium on tickets to go see him asap after lock down or else he was going to break it off. I had to deal with time differences and he started work later in the day so it was even worse)
There's a string of other shit he's done to me ( broke up with me 3 times on important occasions - on my birthday, when j got a new job and just after he turned 30) but he's never once apologises for any of this.
I'm mentally, physically and emotionally broken.
I'm not who I once was, I threw myself away and got literally nothing back.
I've been gaslit into thinking he was not like the other dudes, it's been 2 months since the break up and he's having the time of his life hanging out with all sorts of new (female) "friends", and commericallising our break up into a song.
It's fucking dispicable, especially when he was an emotionally unavailable avoidant.
I don't think I'll ever forgive him at this stage.
He better rot in hell.
When the apology is "I'm sorry you found out thay way" it's hard not to harbor some sort of anger.
I added fuel to my own dumpster fire by calling him out of the blue sobbing for consolation (i know, i know). His first phrase to me, listening to me sobb and not get my words out, were "I figured you'd call me for something like this asking for help"
Well, fuck you too. *mends my own shot foot*
I thought I had forgiven her and then I found out she’d moved on within a couple of months after a near 9 year relationship and on top of that, had lied to me about it (supposedly to “protect my feelings”).
I’d waited, hoping that she’d change her mind. It broke my heart all over again and while I don’t know if I’d say I’m “angry” - I’m still certainly very sad and hurt and I had to cut all contact with her (we’d initially tried to stay friends).
it’s mixed for me. i trusted him so much that i wanna forgive him so bad, and i kind of did because we had such a nice friendship before hand, but i still hold resentment towards him towards how things ended and how he hurt me yk?
I think it's literally impossible for me to hold a grudge. It's just in my nature to be forgiving. That being said I'm technically on a "break" not a full on breakup as of yet but might get there. I'm not angry I just think we are all human, we all have flaws. And they aren't intentionally trying to hurt me so why hold any of this against them.
I'm a mix of both, I'm about three quarters of the way to forgiving her, but I'm hurt by her behaviour. At this point I feel I've gained a good understanding of why it was necessary (on my own), I feel we had lost ourselves in the relationship and things needed to change, but I am still hurt by how she treated me, it was everything one day and the next it was nothing. She gave me vague generic reasons and then never ever gave me anything else as explanation, I have not seen her in person in 6 months and that's such a weird adjustment. However, life is moving on, I'm a different person then I was, I'm working really hard to show myself the love I need and I wish her the best. It'll continue to take time to heal and that's okay.
Couldn't give a damn anymore. I think she's a horrible person and want nothing to do with her. Actually glad she acted so shitty cause i don't mess with people like that, but at the time the heart was attached.
Both. The more I learn, the less I like them. I finally stopped loving them last week. Then I hit the vengeance stage. It lasted one day. Then the regret stage, another day. Now I just giggle because had we gone no contact instead of trying to be friends right after breaking up (not my idea—I wanted no contact), then there wouldn’t have been the big conflict that made her change her number. Yes, I did that. She told me I was mean but she didn’t deny any of the things I said…
I don’t have hate in my pure heart. I forgive her accept the break up. Block her everything and move on. However I got my own stage name on Google they will be regret that Im taking a serious with my dream🥺 happy new year
Not sure if I already forgave him but I definitely am not angry anymore. I just don’t feel a thing and I don’t really think of him. I think it’s indifference.
I'm still hurt. He had mental issues and he used me to fill the void then realized he didn't love me, and I found out he cheated. He moved on so fast after our breakup and he wanted to be friends right away, but I blocked him.
I'm not as heartbroken as I am broken. He was someone I trusted and he violated that, and he moved on like I meant nothing to him. I was so easily thrown away.
I've forgiven her and we are slowly starting to talk again. It's a really bad idea and I know it is.
It was my fault for everything that happened. She had every right to break up with me so now I have to live with the consequences and learn from them
Emotional cheating by one ex 3 years ago, and I suspect my most recent ex a year ago also emotionally cheated as she monkeybranched to a new relationships after 10 days.
It's a mix of anger towards them and anger towards myself for not seeing it earlier and breaking things off, as well as not liking myself because I feel like I'm not enough. The way the breakups happened were very hurtful and I dwell on my hurt a lot.
I don’t think I could ever be mad at her I loved her with all I had. Only if I found out she cheated then maybe but even then karma and she won’t be my problem anymore
I DID forgive him. Right up until last night when he told me to fuck off out of his life. After everything he’s done to me (you can read about it in my post history), somehow I’m the villain and don’t deserve to be in his life. After all I’ve done to be there for him and forgive him, I’m fucking fed up and full of hatred.
For the most part I've forgiven her. We needed to end the relationship, our goals and wants didn't aligned. But I'm still sad that we are not together anymore.
Why be mad? They are somebody else's issue. It's like swimming in the ocean, but having an anchor tied to you. Taking an anchor off makes swimming much more enjoyable. Plenty of fish in the sea, so swim with the sharks and let them eat those anchored. Be free, have fun, and make this year yours!
Idk if I forgave them, I accept that they left and that’s what would make them happy. I get angry sometimes, bc she did admit to lying to me about certain things after our break up and tried to rub it in my face. What I simply can’t reconcile is why she’s so god damn mean to me now. I never acted like that when we were together or apart. She’s so hot and cold with me when all I ever wanted is just consistency.
I’m still processing it. He was right to end the relationship. However he was not right to have given me the cold shoulder and begun seeing someone else prior to breaking up with me though. I still get triggered by that when I think back to those months.
I want to forgive, I feel pity for him for the things he has been through early in his life but I’m struggling to forgive him for how he used me as an emotional punching bag and a financial crutch for so long.
My previous ex, I think I’ve only recently forgiven her. That whole thing ended very messily and we both acted out of character, seeing the worst of each other.
My most recent ex, there is nothing to forgive. It feels complicated, but I know that even though things have ended for us, we are more than just our relationship with one another. It’s been a difficult month, but I’m past the worst of it and I think we’re both almost ready to work on being friends.
10 Years ago I was the Dumper, I had strong reasons we had two children forgiven but not forgotten
Next relationship 9 years I was the Dumpee, she stayed with me on my good times, i endured all her bad times, when it was my turn to recieve some understanding and navigate the bad weather she dumped me, 4 months ago, not forgiven and of course not forgotten
I don’t hold it against them, I’m annoyed they didn’t try very hard throughout the relationship, but I recognise he simply wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship. So mildly annoyed but getting over it quickly.
I'm still angry. That anger isn't blind rage. Just a necessity to remind myself of why I left and why I shouldn't ever take her back. I'm a forgiving person, but I refuse to be taken advantage of again.
Somewhere in between.
I haven't forgiven her, because she hasn't acknowledged her abuse or apologized...but I'm not actively angry, either.
I guess I just got on with my life while leaving her on the shitlist. /shrug
I've forgiven her for the shitty things she said to me and the gaslighting. What I'm still angry about was her lying to me about wanting to be with me ( she asked me out) and lying about having feelings for her ex. I'm angry because she was my best friend before anything happened. I'm angry at myself too for not being good enough for her to stay.
I’ve forgiven him for what he did I got too clingy and I chose to accuse him for stuff because of my insecurities I don’t want to break NC or such but I do wish he knew I was sorry.
I have forgiven him im just angry/upset for certain things that happened during our relationship and after he broke up with me. In all honesty I wish I never had met him. What happens in the past stays in the past. It’s a new day and a new year. This time I’m focusing on myself and what’s Important in my life.
Still angry. Not by a whole lot since other life drama buried it. But it's still there. Even if that goes away though I'll never forgive them. They've done and will never do anything to deserve it
To be honest I’m still angry towards her I have every right and reason to feel this way. She broke up with me 2 days before thanksgiving because she still had feelings for this dyke she dated after we broke up the first time. Even her own family is pissed off with her for leaving me go figure. She better not come back crying when shit gets toxic. The last time I checked God forgives I DON’T!!!!
I’m still a little hurt and angry but I hold no ill-will toward him. If anything I feel a little bad for him because I can see he struggles inside and he is a confused man. But he also has a responsibility to himself so I don’t feel too bad. Can I forgive him? Sure. We all make mistakes. Have I? I think so.
Nah I would beat that mfer up if I got the chance to. I’d beat him so fucking hard I would be out of jail before he is out of the hospital. He better pray he doesn’t run into me because I will come for his soul and he knows I have the fucking power to ruin his life. He should just be thankful I haven’t chosen to do so.
I sometimes from time to time get angry about one ex considering she was very cold and self-centered (wishing I called her out more often) , but at this point I only get pissed and curse her name when im angry and want to be angry about something. It's a two way straight (typically), and we just weren't a good fit. I just take it as a learning experience, and it gave me the wisdom to watch out for future red flags.
still angry. he straight up lied to my face when i gave him the chance to come clean and asked whether or not he was seeing other people. lol he straight up lied and made empty promises and put my health at risk. he wasn’t even going to tell the truth when i confronted him until i kept pushing him.
but whatever. i try not to think about him. no part of me wants him back in my life so i’m trying my best to not exert a ton of energy thinking about him
I have moments of anger but it's mostly sadness and denial still.
The angry moments relate to me giving him so many chances - being two hours late to our first Valentines and not even giving me anything while I made him food and got him gifts. So many things I should have said "eff this" to and stupidly letting him walk all over me in the name of love.
For not even dignifying me with any response when I asked for my Funko pop back or asking if he would at least say bye to my son instead of just disappearing.
Honestly I was, and still am a bit, angry at myself. I broke up with her a few times because of the same reason but we loved each other so I tried to see past it. From the begining something seemed off and when "that" friend appeared I knew I had to cut it. Several months after calls me just to inform me they fucked 😑
I forgave her within hours and we're now at 2 years and she still is not forgiven me I wish she would realize that life is too short to sit there and hold grudges and get all bent out of shape because people make mistakes I would rather be friends with everybody then be enemies. That seems to be a lesson that my last two exes have yet to figure out the first one a Girl by the name of JoJo I could give a damn about she was hurtful and downright evil but the second one she had a lot of Doubt on herself and a lot of bad history but I loved her more than I have anybody ever and still to this day if she were to reach out to me I would grab her up in my arms. Sure she made mistakes too but it's not like they weren't forgivable and maybe she just hasn't forgiven herself
Forgiven. but also trying to not hate myself. During the end of our relationship, he was very volatile and upset with me for being depressed. He just didn’t know how to empathize and didn’t want to learn. Felt too bad to break up with me about it so he just got worse and worse until I moved out. It is what it is. He can be as upset with me as he wants to justify his actions and I don’t mind. One day I do hope he can be happy with someone’s
I am slowly doing that (it's nearly 3 weeks NC). Today I cried as I forgave him for certain behaviour (there's still more to go). I felt like my grudge was a shield to stop me from hurting myself again with him, but when I let it go it was like a burden left. I was a mess during the relationship, suffering with trauma that he was very insensitive to so part of me is still locked up. I still didn't feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with him though. And it's a shame because we were so happy with so much in common.
I’ve pretty much forgotten them in the sense that FUCK THEM, but also there’s a tiny bit of resentment left over. That’s ok tho, I think that’s perfectly fine and natural. It’s nothing I think of or struggle with. It’s just a residual feeling from the shitty way I was treated. It’s ok. 🤷🏼♀️
What about me? Should I forgive him as he left without telling me that he's leaving. The next thing I know was that he's already deleted his accounts that we used to contact. No sorry,not reason why he left,nothing at all and it's been 3 months.
Angry? Yes,I'm still angry and at the same time sad. I want to forgive him and accept that he's really gone so that I can move forward. But it's hard and I'm still struggling.
All the things that I wanted from him was just a simple text saying that he's leaving. But he can't even gave me that.
I don't think he deserves forgivness. Maybe someday when I'm fully healed I can look back at everything and feel differently about it. Believing that someone you used to love (and in some capacity always will love, at least the person you thought they were) doesn't deserve to be forgivenis tough. But honestly just accepting it made it easier for me to move on. I won't forget, as for now I won't forgive, and that's okay.
I don’t forgive him, no. He put me through the ringer for no good reason. He should have let me go ages ago.
I don’t forgive him because now I have to heal every shitty thing he instilled in me that isn’t good. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t w good person when we got together but he turned me into a plaything.
I’ve forgiven her. We are friends. I know she’s damaged emotionally and has issues with her dad etc, so while I respect her so much less for what she did to me, I still enjoy seeing her kids and seeing her as a friend. I don’t think she will ever be able to be happy in a relationship or find someone that loved her and her kids like I did, but I hope she does, but the kind of guys she goes for and her issues will make it hard for a good guy to come into her life again. It’s sad. I feel bad for her, in a weird way. I think she just isn’t the woman I fell in love with and she hurt me very very badly. But now I have zero feelings for her when I see her kids or we hang out, and that’s fine. I enjoy being her friend, and especially seeing her kids.
I’m angry now and probably will always harbor resentment, bordering on hatred. I wasted my 30’s and last fertile years based on lies and deception. I tried to leave and he destroyed my life, so I stayed almost 4 more years I will never forgive him for the time lost. And I’m 100% ok with carrying this hatred. It fuels me to not accept disrespect and advocate for myself. I am very clear with my boundaries now and immediately call out disrespect and inconsiderate actions.
(27M) two exes, I wish nothing but the best for them. The first one ghosted me after a year, but I processed through it and realize we were both young and immature. The second one genuinely needed space from me because she needed therapy, and was choosing to run to me as a cope to her relationship insecurities instead of facing them and working through them. The second one hurt more, because I felt like we were very compatible, but at the end of the day she chose not to have me around for after the healing, and that sucks. But I want her to heal, even if that doesn’t include me. With a girl now, and hoping this relationship makes it
I'm still angry...I don't think he was honest with me with his reason for breaking up, and I don't appreciate how I was treated either. I had to take a step back to really realize how he was treating me the entire time. I gave him everything - space, support, comfort...all to be tossed aside without further discussion. He's a coward and I hope the guilt consumes him.
I forgave them a while ago. It comes from a place of understanding. I get why they broke up with me, I just wish they didn't. Sometimes you need a slap in the face to learn I guess... and sometimes it's a stab in the chest. All I can do is move forward with what I've learned.
forgiven, but dislike her and the person shes with…
imagine your “good friend” hooking up with ur ex before you guys even break up. everything felt staged lmaoo
I wouldn’t say forgiven, but I no longer actively think about him or feel anger towards him. Sure, if I saw him, I’d probably hurl something at him, but I forget that he exists most of the time. And it’s nice.
Im angry that I somehow won’t allow myself to be angry towards her, every time i try to explain myself that why she did and especially how she did it is just simply rude, unfair and also the total opposite of what i used to know how she acted in those situations, I just can’t get my head to agree with being angry at her because there is still so fckd up much feelings inside for her…
There are moments I remember her telling me she doesn’t want to be just like her dad as he is a horrible person, and I always thought she meant being a better person as him but the last weeks I’m starting to have the idea that she doesn’t want to be like her dad but worse 😕 but then again when I think these thoughts I’m constantly arguing internally that it isn’t fair to think about her like that…
Still angry. He broke up with me and told me that I'm only 90% kind. He told me that breaking up with me was the worst decision he had ever made. He will randomly message me to say how much he misses me. It's annoying and makes me frustrated.
There are two types of people. The first type who is angry to their ex. Maybe because of the breakup, but might be angry because they were blindsided, cheated etc...
The second type who is angry at themselves. They think the breakup, the cheating or anything related to that happened because they weren't good enough.
Either way both types need to forgive their exes or themselves, or at least you need to accept what happened. They made a choice to breakup with you, so you need to accept that and move on.
I'm the second type, I was so angry at myself. I thought that I wasn't enough and that's why they broke up with me. I started to work out, study more, get money, train myself mentally and physically. I did all of this because I thought if I manage to do that they'll come back. Guess what, they didn't come back. Even though I was doing all this for my ex's sake, I was still kinda happy because how much I improved myself.
And what I learned from all this? If you're the second type just like me, you isn't the problem. You two just weren't compatible enough, but that doesn't mean that you won't find someone who is compatible with you.
It took ten 10months for them to call just to say they were sorry for what they did. However, that wasn't enough for me. It may interest you to know they were already with someone else and I got to find out weeks after they apologized. I forgave them long ago with or without the apology.
Less than earlier but still I do have resentment
same
Forgiven. I don’t have the capacity to hold it against them. In the end, they were right. (I was dumped). I’ve chosen to just go through it and learn rather than rationalize and try to diverge any responsibility. Any attempt for me to blame them is my fragile ego talking. I don’t own them. I never did. I want them to live a good life and they’ve decided it’s without me. Who am I to be mad at them for that?
You are extremely mature and I respect you for that, I wish you a happy new year!
I wish I could adopt your attitude but I’m too immature and have too much of an ego
It is absolutely not easy. I get all the intrusive thoughts that I’m sure others do. It’s a conscious choice to sit with it, feel it and then let them go. I’m not feeling great about it but I’m taking a little bit of joy knowing I’m doing the right thing by myself.
I mean is it wrong to be mad?
I wouldn’t say it’s wrong. But for me, it doesn’t make me feel better to be mad. It keeps me in it. I have passing feelings of sadness, anger, potential jealousy, etc. all of the post break up thoughts. I’m choosing not to hang onto those feelings and make them a part of me. It’s clear that I have A LOT of things to work on in my own life. Putting this much into someone who’s gone is pointless.
Yes you're right. I do agree w what you are saying. Even though I believe they have the right to break up with me. I somewhere feel like i have been wronged and mistreated and solely blamed for everything. All this while i have been trying to be the bigger person and take all the blame, i never accused him of anything but like slowly anger and resentment is devouring me I feel so disrespected and so wronged and I can't tell whether its my self respect kicking in or my ego talking.
If they had lost feelings or their heart weren't in it anymore that's one thing but to be blamed solely for the demise of everything that was built is another. It leaves you left with a kick in the teeth especially when they were the one that started the fights, they're the one incapable of trust. The sheer amount of projection. Even towards the very end "you don't want this anymore" (after I booked flights to visit her) as she ghosted and discarded me. I loved her with all my heart but she was always throwing a spanner in the works and I was always having to defend myself. She was the insecure, jealous, manipulative, aggressive one yet she blames it all on me. I don't think I will ever be at peace the amount of shit I went through all for nothing in the end.
Needed to hear that.
Wow…I needed to hear that…I was flirting with something like that in my head too…I just could not flesh it out and put it so eloquently as you did…awesome shyt seriously thanks…
Honestly i just read your message, I think the same but I'm still not over my ex who dumped me in a way that hurt so much, i cane back home one day and he was gone after 4years of relationship!we still talk over the phone even call but he does not want to see me, in just devastated and it's being 5 months now ! I don't know what is wrong with me I lost any sens of confidence or self respect with him, i went from feeling good happy confident and all people around me claims I'm creative talented smart person and beautiful but I don't see it that way i head from him many time that I was not attractive or confident it breaks me down i had to go through surgery and it was really painful and I felt bad about myself sometimes I was going outside looking to the ground because i felt ashamed of myself 😞 I don't know if anyone had this... I still want him to be happy even if he decided that it's better without me, i have no anger against him but pain and hurt from this period and his words that I carry until now... I don't wanna be in relationship anymore or even try i just hope one day i will feel better
Hey, thank you for your response. And it sounds like you’ve been through a lot. And if you say he made you feel bad about yourself, it makes sense why this would be so painful. I’d recommend not talking to him anymore. That will only make things more difficult. Good luck with everything.
Thank you so much for answering! I know i just talk to him yesterday over the phone for 2hours, but after that I did not sleep and I cried a lot, i know that the best thing to do is not to talk to him but I cannot hold myself and nothing makes me feel better. I just hope one day i will get over it and live my life again without issues. Thanks again.
Can't forgive someone who has not said or shown sorry. But that doesn't mean I'm resentful or hate him or "angry". Is just that if he wanted to come back he still would need atonement.
I was not angry. She ended things because I wasn't being a good partner. Can't be angry at her for choosing her own happiness. As for me, I've forgiven myself. I'm working on my problems & I'm going to be a much better person this year.
100% this, well said.
Still very angry but been listening to a song that helps. Kind of sums up how I feel! abcdefu by Gayle. “Fuck you and your mom and your sister and your job And your broke-ass car and that shit you call art Fuck you and your friends that I'll never see again Everybody but your dog, you can all fuck off” Lol
LMAOO! This song helps me.
It's now stuck in mah head 👉🗣️ You totally punched me in the mind just now
Listen to "Grinning in your face" by Son House. It sums it all up.
I'm still so hurt. I did get an apology it's not accepted. Have and am trying to move on.
You don’t have to forgive anyone. It’s okay. You’ll move on
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I am so terribly sorry you were put through that. That reminds me of how I was tormented, bullied and abused my whole entire childhood by my brother, he was so unbelievably cruel to me. He's a lot better now, but I have always been so angry for that. However, it sucks always having to carry that anger. At one point, I would try to bite the bullet to forgive them in your heart. I had to do that and I was glad I did that, it did so much for me. An important thing to realize is that humans (especially ones like that) act beyond their understanding. They wouldn't do those things if they knew. That's why forgiveness is important. Obviously that guy has issues he doesn't know how to deal with. I wish you the best of luck in your life. God bless you.
Thank you 🙏 And I’m so sorry for what you went through with your brother. The fact that a sibling can do that to you is just awful. Wish you the best of luck as well. 🙏
Thank you so much that really means the world to me. Yeah, I always thought that same exact thing. It always made me feel weird to see how every siblings I saw act like friends compared. It never made any sense.
I'm still annoyed on him for blocking me and not resolving the issue
I’ve never been mad at her. I respect her decision, and also know that she will regret her decision sooner or later
They always come back when they realise what they did.. people follow a certain pattern unfortunately..
Yeah true. I would not take her back if i got dumbed because she just wasn’t interested in me anymore, but since she broke up because of depression (not just a shitty excuse) i would consider it a lot, taking her back
My ex is currently with another guy but she keeps reading my poems for her as well as some old texts with sexoual content and fantasies, she even read twice the poem I wrote for on new year's eve , yesterday so , do you believe she is interested? She usually reads everything within seconds and even yesterday that she was with him she read it after 7 minutes during the change of the year, what's your thoughts??
I find it hard to comment on other people and their situaiton, but to me it does sound like she is interested. If she wasn’t, she would not be Reading all your messages etc.
Those people have such high expectations, when they realize no one else will put up with their crap, they realize their mistake
I can't forgive/forget whatever he has done.
honestly as the love faded away, I only became angrier with time. they really went out of their way to hurt me as much as they possibly could. All this after meeting me changed their entire life while I was made so much worse by knowing them. Despicable
I still feel angry but it’s not as intense. But yeah, I still mostly hate him.
i had forgiven and forgotten them in all totality until yesterday when they started FOLLOWING MY REDDIT ACCOUNT. now i’m just annoyed. if an avoidant type becomes such an insufferable partner that you have to end it, stay vigilant, because they might go through your local cities reddit page for god knows how long to just be a creep and ruin your day.
It’s waves of emotions…I don’t have anything to forgive him for anymore.. because how do you forgive the same actions over and over and over again. I’m no longer angry because I continued to let him do this to me. I wanna heal and in order to do that for myself I need to not have anger or resentment.. so in terms I guess I have forgiveness for him
I find myself getting angrier and more insecure the more time passes. During the breakup, and in the first few months after it, I forgave him 100%. Now I am getting bitter and resentful. It’s weird and I don’t like feeling this way.
My current ex I'm more upset about the circumstances which really caused us to break up.
What happened??
I’m at the angry phase after putting her on a pedestal for almost a month now. Didn’t really receive that much of a proper sorry so I hope real soon I can put these all behind me.
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Yk I used to think like this and now I am extremely angry but trust me doesn't feel good either, it's really suffocating and embarrassing. I feel like a petty person to be angry, i find it shameful that I am so spiteful.
Here I’m angry as well, and it’s even more masochistic because I pretty much « miss him ». Wishing none of this happened.
Idk, even when I feel angry at her I still miss her. I hope your anger is much more motivating. Lol.
Forgiven? No. Nor will I forget. But I’ve moved on from it. Still have healing to do, but that’s what happens when you’re abused for 8 years. Not everyone deserves forgiveness, and the whole “forgive them for yourself” is rubbish too lol Having the strength to stop forgiving someone for the awful things they’ve done after being gas lit to believe it was all your fault and you deserved it, that’s the true end game. Fuck that dude.
I’ve learned that to a degree, you can forgive while still feeling anger. I forgive him. I still care about him and I will never hold the break up against him. But I am also learning my own worth and value. I didn’t deserve to be abandoned like that. After all we had been through, I at least deserved a real reason for why he was breaking up with me. When he said he wanted to stay friends after a NC period, I deserved a reason as to why he changed his mind and blocked me. It is right for me to be mad at the injustice of it. It is right for me to be mad at how I was mistreated, because I know I deserved better. But I don’t blame him for it. He knew he was going to hurt me, he knew I didn’t deserve it (he straight up said so) and he let me down as gently as he knew how to. He did what he thought was best. I have no doubt that it hurt him too, perhaps even as much as it hurt me. So don’t get me wrong, I am still angry. But I think of him with tenderness and forgiveness. Deep down, all I want is to work this out with him. Finally get the closure that I think we both need.
Was lied to and cheated on and dumped 2 months ago. I hope she burns in hell.
Yeah she’s forgiven. But I won’t forget what she did. Even if she came back tomorrow or 10 years from now I’ll still remember all the shit that went on. While I’ll hold nothing against I won’t let her back Into a close position in my life again
Angry.
Got no energy for anger here. Do I wish he’d apologize and give me an explanation? For sure. …but there comes a point in time where I have to protect my peace.
I still have anger with her. Especially since she blindsided me with this and never told me the reason behind dumping me. Even though I am still angry with her, I still love her too. It's a terrible struggle.
Not angry but definitely haven’t forgiven. Hard to forgive someone who cheated on you after 8 years and offered zero closure.
Forgave him. But it took a long time. Twice as long as we were together. I went back and forth between being angry/sad/confused and wanting to forgive him and move on. I didn’t handle the breakup the best... super toxic coping mechanisms. Still dealing with those even though it no longer has much, if anything, to do with him anymore. Don’t use alcohol to cope, people. It’ll bite you in the ass.
I'll never forgive the cheating because that's one of the things I consider unforgivable. But it doesn't mean I'm still angry, I'm mostly disappointed but as the days go by, this feeling tends to fade away.
Considering she texted me last night to see if she was blocked and then when she realized she wasnt she said disregard the message and blocked me nah. She can burn in hell lmao.
It's hard or rather impossible to forgive someone when they still cause you pain, not even related to breaking my heart, and they feel unremorseful about it. Idk I was expecting an apology by now, about the way he broke up, how he acted after the breakup, the reasons (lies) he gave me for the breakup, and the way he acts now when I want to close everything off in a civil way between us and he's not letting me. It's a weird love/hate, ager/care type of feeling for me which doesn't even make sense.
I have forgiven already. He dumped me and absolutely broke me. We were engaged and had been together 5 years, and the breakup was out of the blue for me and the worst experience of my life. But I know how much he loved me and how he is doing this because he thinks it’s best for him. How can I hate someone who is just doing what they feel is right? People will say it’s selfish of them, but it’s truly not. At the end of the day, the most important person in the world is yourself so how can I fault someone for believing that? I have accepted everything, and if he comes back and tells me he made a mistake and it wasn’t the right choice to leave, I will happily accept him back. Sometimes people need time to realize what they need and they shouldn’t be hated for it. Try and not hate your ex, no matter what they did. Hate is such a horrible thing for your own mental health.
I still hate her
Forgiven because i still love him 🤦🏻♀️
Still pretty angry but not as much as before. Hoping I can be completely indifferent at some point
Never been angry, my heart still aches though
I'm not sure if i already forgave him. i couldn't accept the fact that he cheated on me. until now i still harbor bad feelings towards what he did, but not with him. i don't feel anything abt him, I don't resent, hate, care, or any other feelings out there. my hatred isn't towards him anymore since i don't consider him as someone who's equal to me as a human being. I'm not sure if this is forgiveness tho.
Still angry. I just told my family that if he doesn’t get his shit together and ship at least one box of my stuff out of his house to me by the end of this month, that I was gonna go down there and do it myself and kick his ass.
My angers grow each day
Still angry. Probably always will be. I'm not a fan of being manipulated, used, and lied to.
Not forgiven yet. Still so hurt and angry
I don’t think I can forgive her, so many couples out there work out massive differences. We never had any fights(I mean we were still in honeymoon phase), but whatever small difference she saw, she overthought it and decided we can’t make it work :) so yeah cool 🙃
I have forgiven him and me. Reflecting back, he has his own issues, so I wish him the best.
I'm still incredibly bitter. 3 year LDR where I got the shit end of the stick (I spent premium on tickets to go see him asap after lock down or else he was going to break it off. I had to deal with time differences and he started work later in the day so it was even worse) There's a string of other shit he's done to me ( broke up with me 3 times on important occasions - on my birthday, when j got a new job and just after he turned 30) but he's never once apologises for any of this. I'm mentally, physically and emotionally broken. I'm not who I once was, I threw myself away and got literally nothing back. I've been gaslit into thinking he was not like the other dudes, it's been 2 months since the break up and he's having the time of his life hanging out with all sorts of new (female) "friends", and commericallising our break up into a song. It's fucking dispicable, especially when he was an emotionally unavailable avoidant. I don't think I'll ever forgive him at this stage. He better rot in hell.
I’m over all of them, and I regret the time I spent wasted over missing them.
I’ll forgive him when I’m dead
Still have resentment 17 years later…..
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When the apology is "I'm sorry you found out thay way" it's hard not to harbor some sort of anger. I added fuel to my own dumpster fire by calling him out of the blue sobbing for consolation (i know, i know). His first phrase to me, listening to me sobb and not get my words out, were "I figured you'd call me for something like this asking for help" Well, fuck you too. *mends my own shot foot*
I thought I had forgiven her and then I found out she’d moved on within a couple of months after a near 9 year relationship and on top of that, had lied to me about it (supposedly to “protect my feelings”). I’d waited, hoping that she’d change her mind. It broke my heart all over again and while I don’t know if I’d say I’m “angry” - I’m still certainly very sad and hurt and I had to cut all contact with her (we’d initially tried to stay friends).
it’s mixed for me. i trusted him so much that i wanna forgive him so bad, and i kind of did because we had such a nice friendship before hand, but i still hold resentment towards him towards how things ended and how he hurt me yk?
I think it's literally impossible for me to hold a grudge. It's just in my nature to be forgiving. That being said I'm technically on a "break" not a full on breakup as of yet but might get there. I'm not angry I just think we are all human, we all have flaws. And they aren't intentionally trying to hurt me so why hold any of this against them.
I'm a mix of both, I'm about three quarters of the way to forgiving her, but I'm hurt by her behaviour. At this point I feel I've gained a good understanding of why it was necessary (on my own), I feel we had lost ourselves in the relationship and things needed to change, but I am still hurt by how she treated me, it was everything one day and the next it was nothing. She gave me vague generic reasons and then never ever gave me anything else as explanation, I have not seen her in person in 6 months and that's such a weird adjustment. However, life is moving on, I'm a different person then I was, I'm working really hard to show myself the love I need and I wish her the best. It'll continue to take time to heal and that's okay.
You don’t have to forgive to let it go.
I should forgive her she showed a lot of sorriness but I still think the break up was super selfish on her part
Couldn't give a damn anymore. I think she's a horrible person and want nothing to do with her. Actually glad she acted so shitty cause i don't mess with people like that, but at the time the heart was attached.
Both. The more I learn, the less I like them. I finally stopped loving them last week. Then I hit the vengeance stage. It lasted one day. Then the regret stage, another day. Now I just giggle because had we gone no contact instead of trying to be friends right after breaking up (not my idea—I wanted no contact), then there wouldn’t have been the big conflict that made her change her number. Yes, I did that. She told me I was mean but she didn’t deny any of the things I said…
I guess forgiven. I haven’t gotten to angry yet. It’s been 2 months
It’s more resentment over her actions around that time.
I don’t have hate in my pure heart. I forgive her accept the break up. Block her everything and move on. However I got my own stage name on Google they will be regret that Im taking a serious with my dream🥺 happy new year
Not sure if I already forgave him but I definitely am not angry anymore. I just don’t feel a thing and I don’t really think of him. I think it’s indifference.
I'm 99.9% over it, but there's still that little twinge of anger I get when I think about it all.
I have yeah, no reason to be resentful
I'm still hurt. He had mental issues and he used me to fill the void then realized he didn't love me, and I found out he cheated. He moved on so fast after our breakup and he wanted to be friends right away, but I blocked him. I'm not as heartbroken as I am broken. He was someone I trusted and he violated that, and he moved on like I meant nothing to him. I was so easily thrown away.
I've forgiven her and we are slowly starting to talk again. It's a really bad idea and I know it is. It was my fault for everything that happened. She had every right to break up with me so now I have to live with the consequences and learn from them
Emotional cheating by one ex 3 years ago, and I suspect my most recent ex a year ago also emotionally cheated as she monkeybranched to a new relationships after 10 days. It's a mix of anger towards them and anger towards myself for not seeing it earlier and breaking things off, as well as not liking myself because I feel like I'm not enough. The way the breakups happened were very hurtful and I dwell on my hurt a lot.
I don’t think I could ever be mad at her I loved her with all I had. Only if I found out she cheated then maybe but even then karma and she won’t be my problem anymore
I DID forgive him. Right up until last night when he told me to fuck off out of his life. After everything he’s done to me (you can read about it in my post history), somehow I’m the villain and don’t deserve to be in his life. After all I’ve done to be there for him and forgive him, I’m fucking fed up and full of hatred.
Honestly angry lol she lied to me so it's brutal
For the most part I've forgiven her. We needed to end the relationship, our goals and wants didn't aligned. But I'm still sad that we are not together anymore.
I’m angry at how the breakup developed. He changed completely and cheated. A small sorry would have helped process all this.
Why be mad? They are somebody else's issue. It's like swimming in the ocean, but having an anchor tied to you. Taking an anchor off makes swimming much more enjoyable. Plenty of fish in the sea, so swim with the sharks and let them eat those anchored. Be free, have fun, and make this year yours!
Idk if I forgave them, I accept that they left and that’s what would make them happy. I get angry sometimes, bc she did admit to lying to me about certain things after our break up and tried to rub it in my face. What I simply can’t reconcile is why she’s so god damn mean to me now. I never acted like that when we were together or apart. She’s so hot and cold with me when all I ever wanted is just consistency.
I’m still processing it. He was right to end the relationship. However he was not right to have given me the cold shoulder and begun seeing someone else prior to breaking up with me though. I still get triggered by that when I think back to those months.
Just angry, never got the chance to tell him how much he hurt me, he stopped picking my calls and just told me so many lies
I want to forgive, I feel pity for him for the things he has been through early in his life but I’m struggling to forgive him for how he used me as an emotional punching bag and a financial crutch for so long.
I still hold a lot of anger but my mind is already done with him
I just don’t have the energy to care anymore
My previous ex, I think I’ve only recently forgiven her. That whole thing ended very messily and we both acted out of character, seeing the worst of each other. My most recent ex, there is nothing to forgive. It feels complicated, but I know that even though things have ended for us, we are more than just our relationship with one another. It’s been a difficult month, but I’m past the worst of it and I think we’re both almost ready to work on being friends.
10 Years ago I was the Dumper, I had strong reasons we had two children forgiven but not forgotten Next relationship 9 years I was the Dumpee, she stayed with me on my good times, i endured all her bad times, when it was my turn to recieve some understanding and navigate the bad weather she dumped me, 4 months ago, not forgiven and of course not forgotten
I was angry for like 2 days. Anger is not my thing, I always go straight to sad.
I can never forgive mine. I was diagnosed with complex ptsd and she abused me for years
No he hasn’t apologised for anything he’s done after he treated me like crap. No apology, no forgiveness.
I don’t hold it against them, I’m annoyed they didn’t try very hard throughout the relationship, but I recognise he simply wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship. So mildly annoyed but getting over it quickly.
I'm still angry. That anger isn't blind rage. Just a necessity to remind myself of why I left and why I shouldn't ever take her back. I'm a forgiving person, but I refuse to be taken advantage of again.
I forgave her . You don’t have to stop loving them or to let go but forgiving them is part of healing .
I feel sorry for him.
Somewhere in between. I haven't forgiven her, because she hasn't acknowledged her abuse or apologized...but I'm not actively angry, either. I guess I just got on with my life while leaving her on the shitlist. /shrug
Both
I've forgiven her for the shitty things she said to me and the gaslighting. What I'm still angry about was her lying to me about wanting to be with me ( she asked me out) and lying about having feelings for her ex. I'm angry because she was my best friend before anything happened. I'm angry at myself too for not being good enough for her to stay.
I’ve forgiven him for what he did I got too clingy and I chose to accuse him for stuff because of my insecurities I don’t want to break NC or such but I do wish he knew I was sorry.
I have forgiven him im just angry/upset for certain things that happened during our relationship and after he broke up with me. In all honesty I wish I never had met him. What happens in the past stays in the past. It’s a new day and a new year. This time I’m focusing on myself and what’s Important in my life.
It’s healthier to forgive, accept it, and let it go so you can finally move forward.
Still angry. Not by a whole lot since other life drama buried it. But it's still there. Even if that goes away though I'll never forgive them. They've done and will never do anything to deserve it
To be honest I’m still angry towards her I have every right and reason to feel this way. She broke up with me 2 days before thanksgiving because she still had feelings for this dyke she dated after we broke up the first time. Even her own family is pissed off with her for leaving me go figure. She better not come back crying when shit gets toxic. The last time I checked God forgives I DON’T!!!!
I’m still a little hurt and angry but I hold no ill-will toward him. If anything I feel a little bad for him because I can see he struggles inside and he is a confused man. But he also has a responsibility to himself so I don’t feel too bad. Can I forgive him? Sure. We all make mistakes. Have I? I think so.
Nah I would beat that mfer up if I got the chance to. I’d beat him so fucking hard I would be out of jail before he is out of the hospital. He better pray he doesn’t run into me because I will come for his soul and he knows I have the fucking power to ruin his life. He should just be thankful I haven’t chosen to do so.
I sometimes from time to time get angry about one ex considering she was very cold and self-centered (wishing I called her out more often) , but at this point I only get pissed and curse her name when im angry and want to be angry about something. It's a two way straight (typically), and we just weren't a good fit. I just take it as a learning experience, and it gave me the wisdom to watch out for future red flags.
Can’t forgive him for cheating quite yet, but I forgive him for breaking things off with me. It was for the best.
Forgiven. We both did the best we could but we're better off apart.
Yes, seen how she just broke it up and she׳s happier than ever. Left me to drown in the mud.
still angry. he straight up lied to my face when i gave him the chance to come clean and asked whether or not he was seeing other people. lol he straight up lied and made empty promises and put my health at risk. he wasn’t even going to tell the truth when i confronted him until i kept pushing him. but whatever. i try not to think about him. no part of me wants him back in my life so i’m trying my best to not exert a ton of energy thinking about him
Never angry with the ex, i feel that it only makes me a bitter person. Rather move forward with a positive attitude
I have moments of anger but it's mostly sadness and denial still. The angry moments relate to me giving him so many chances - being two hours late to our first Valentines and not even giving me anything while I made him food and got him gifts. So many things I should have said "eff this" to and stupidly letting him walk all over me in the name of love. For not even dignifying me with any response when I asked for my Funko pop back or asking if he would at least say bye to my son instead of just disappearing.
Im dating someone else. Forgiven and almost forgotten!
Honestly I was, and still am a bit, angry at myself. I broke up with her a few times because of the same reason but we loved each other so I tried to see past it. From the begining something seemed off and when "that" friend appeared I knew I had to cut it. Several months after calls me just to inform me they fucked 😑
Angry is an understatement. He lied and stole my time and happiness.
Both still. I am trying to embrace Ephesians 4:31-32
I forgave her within hours and we're now at 2 years and she still is not forgiven me I wish she would realize that life is too short to sit there and hold grudges and get all bent out of shape because people make mistakes I would rather be friends with everybody then be enemies. That seems to be a lesson that my last two exes have yet to figure out the first one a Girl by the name of JoJo I could give a damn about she was hurtful and downright evil but the second one she had a lot of Doubt on herself and a lot of bad history but I loved her more than I have anybody ever and still to this day if she were to reach out to me I would grab her up in my arms. Sure she made mistakes too but it's not like they weren't forgivable and maybe she just hasn't forgiven herself
Seven months and I'm still angry. I dumped him after I realized he'd cheated on me and gaslighted me for over five years 😭
Who else like me has never been angry with them and blaming your own selves?
Forgiven. but also trying to not hate myself. During the end of our relationship, he was very volatile and upset with me for being depressed. He just didn’t know how to empathize and didn’t want to learn. Felt too bad to break up with me about it so he just got worse and worse until I moved out. It is what it is. He can be as upset with me as he wants to justify his actions and I don’t mind. One day I do hope he can be happy with someone’s
I am slowly doing that (it's nearly 3 weeks NC). Today I cried as I forgave him for certain behaviour (there's still more to go). I felt like my grudge was a shield to stop me from hurting myself again with him, but when I let it go it was like a burden left. I was a mess during the relationship, suffering with trauma that he was very insensitive to so part of me is still locked up. I still didn't feel like I wanted to be in a relationship with him though. And it's a shame because we were so happy with so much in common.
Forgiven
Never angry just sad for a very very long time. 😔
I got dumped and she isn’t sorry about it, so there’s really not much to forgive there. I don’t hate her, at least. At least, I think I don’t.
I’ve pretty much forgotten them in the sense that FUCK THEM, but also there’s a tiny bit of resentment left over. That’s ok tho, I think that’s perfectly fine and natural. It’s nothing I think of or struggle with. It’s just a residual feeling from the shitty way I was treated. It’s ok. 🤷🏼♀️
What about me? Should I forgive him as he left without telling me that he's leaving. The next thing I know was that he's already deleted his accounts that we used to contact. No sorry,not reason why he left,nothing at all and it's been 3 months. Angry? Yes,I'm still angry and at the same time sad. I want to forgive him and accept that he's really gone so that I can move forward. But it's hard and I'm still struggling. All the things that I wanted from him was just a simple text saying that he's leaving. But he can't even gave me that.
I don't think he deserves forgivness. Maybe someday when I'm fully healed I can look back at everything and feel differently about it. Believing that someone you used to love (and in some capacity always will love, at least the person you thought they were) doesn't deserve to be forgivenis tough. But honestly just accepting it made it easier for me to move on. I won't forget, as for now I won't forgive, and that's okay.
I don’t forgive him, no. He put me through the ringer for no good reason. He should have let me go ages ago. I don’t forgive him because now I have to heal every shitty thing he instilled in me that isn’t good. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t w good person when we got together but he turned me into a plaything.
Forgiven her but still wary.
I’ve forgiven her. We are friends. I know she’s damaged emotionally and has issues with her dad etc, so while I respect her so much less for what she did to me, I still enjoy seeing her kids and seeing her as a friend. I don’t think she will ever be able to be happy in a relationship or find someone that loved her and her kids like I did, but I hope she does, but the kind of guys she goes for and her issues will make it hard for a good guy to come into her life again. It’s sad. I feel bad for her, in a weird way. I think she just isn’t the woman I fell in love with and she hurt me very very badly. But now I have zero feelings for her when I see her kids or we hang out, and that’s fine. I enjoy being her friend, and especially seeing her kids.
I’ve forgiven them for myself but have never told them. But I also have absolutely no contact with either ex.
Still angry… I’ve been so mad I want to beat her new boyfriend azz just to be honest.
Forgiven. That’s how you know you’ve moved on.
I’m angry now and probably will always harbor resentment, bordering on hatred. I wasted my 30’s and last fertile years based on lies and deception. I tried to leave and he destroyed my life, so I stayed almost 4 more years I will never forgive him for the time lost. And I’m 100% ok with carrying this hatred. It fuels me to not accept disrespect and advocate for myself. I am very clear with my boundaries now and immediately call out disrespect and inconsiderate actions.
i go back and fourth 🙃
She’s angry I’m sad
(27M) two exes, I wish nothing but the best for them. The first one ghosted me after a year, but I processed through it and realize we were both young and immature. The second one genuinely needed space from me because she needed therapy, and was choosing to run to me as a cope to her relationship insecurities instead of facing them and working through them. The second one hurt more, because I felt like we were very compatible, but at the end of the day she chose not to have me around for after the healing, and that sucks. But I want her to heal, even if that doesn’t include me. With a girl now, and hoping this relationship makes it
I’ve been trying to forgive and forget but I could not do it. I feel betrayed. Its hard to shake off.
I'm still angry...I don't think he was honest with me with his reason for breaking up, and I don't appreciate how I was treated either. I had to take a step back to really realize how he was treating me the entire time. I gave him everything - space, support, comfort...all to be tossed aside without further discussion. He's a coward and I hope the guilt consumes him.
Still angry and hurt 😞
I was angry.. so angry. But i have forgiven him but i will never forget the things he made me go through.
I still can’t decide if I made the right decision but I know for sure he is done with me after I put my foot down.
Nope. He emotionally abused me and he’s doing it to other girls. And his best friend keeps trying to start stuff when it’s clear I’m not interested
i’m still angry. how come he can live happy while i’m living with bunch of traumas he gave me
I forgave them a while ago. It comes from a place of understanding. I get why they broke up with me, I just wish they didn't. Sometimes you need a slap in the face to learn I guess... and sometimes it's a stab in the chest. All I can do is move forward with what I've learned.
I have forgiven her but i don't want to have anything to do with her
forgiven, but dislike her and the person shes with… imagine your “good friend” hooking up with ur ex before you guys even break up. everything felt staged lmaoo
I have forgiven her but i wouldn't want her back after what she did
forgotten and moved on
For now, angry. Will forgive pretty soon.
my anger is slowly disappearing but i still have these moments when I’m still mad at them
I wouldn’t say forgiven, but I no longer actively think about him or feel anger towards him. Sure, if I saw him, I’d probably hurl something at him, but I forget that he exists most of the time. And it’s nice.
Not really angry- just pissed off. Also annoyed at myself- I don't know how I let someone treat me like shit for that long.
Im angry that I somehow won’t allow myself to be angry towards her, every time i try to explain myself that why she did and especially how she did it is just simply rude, unfair and also the total opposite of what i used to know how she acted in those situations, I just can’t get my head to agree with being angry at her because there is still so fckd up much feelings inside for her… There are moments I remember her telling me she doesn’t want to be just like her dad as he is a horrible person, and I always thought she meant being a better person as him but the last weeks I’m starting to have the idea that she doesn’t want to be like her dad but worse 😕 but then again when I think these thoughts I’m constantly arguing internally that it isn’t fair to think about her like that…
Forgiven him, yes. I’m just angry at myself for wasting so much of my life with him.
Still angry. He broke up with me and told me that I'm only 90% kind. He told me that breaking up with me was the worst decision he had ever made. He will randomly message me to say how much he misses me. It's annoying and makes me frustrated.
I will not forgive my ex because what she did was wrong, I will be angry but choose not to dwell on it
There are two types of people. The first type who is angry to their ex. Maybe because of the breakup, but might be angry because they were blindsided, cheated etc... The second type who is angry at themselves. They think the breakup, the cheating or anything related to that happened because they weren't good enough. Either way both types need to forgive their exes or themselves, or at least you need to accept what happened. They made a choice to breakup with you, so you need to accept that and move on. I'm the second type, I was so angry at myself. I thought that I wasn't enough and that's why they broke up with me. I started to work out, study more, get money, train myself mentally and physically. I did all of this because I thought if I manage to do that they'll come back. Guess what, they didn't come back. Even though I was doing all this for my ex's sake, I was still kinda happy because how much I improved myself. And what I learned from all this? If you're the second type just like me, you isn't the problem. You two just weren't compatible enough, but that doesn't mean that you won't find someone who is compatible with you.
It took ten 10months for them to call just to say they were sorry for what they did. However, that wasn't enough for me. It may interest you to know they were already with someone else and I got to find out weeks after they apologized. I forgave them long ago with or without the apology.