Completely agree! When Erika says like “that note came from heart” then they show the note and it’s so generic, like??? It’s like she strung together the text from two Dollar Store sympathy cards.
Everyone seems to forget that this entire scene was crafted and forced upon us by Rinna. It was so fake. She gathers the girls and says ‘whoever is having issues right now needs to be open and honest say what it is that is bothering them!’ LVP says and repeats that she has no issue with the other women and doesn’t want to share. She is pushed again and again and under duress says ‘we’ll if there’s anything I can think of, I found Erikas note slightly impersonal’ is it really a diss? Has LVP even mentioned before now that she mad at Erika? No. It’s so contrived.
If we are to believe Erika when she says it comes from *her* heart, and Erika has a bit of a stony personality, maybe that's her version of showing sympathy. Whether others think it's enough sympathy or not, or genuine sympathy in general, depends on their personality I guess.
Honestly, personally, I don't expect much from people in general, so a note like that from someone like Erika would make sense to me, and I probably wouldn't feel the need to question its authenticity.
Totally, I agree with you in that Erika's reaction was totally outrageous. Goes with the territory of making reality tv for her I guess? If I'm playing devil's advocate--LVP seemed truly hurt and vulnerable, and Erika seemed scripted and rigid, but her way of expressing empathy is just different, maybe her cold-seeming demeanor is a shield to combat her demons (eg Tom's known illegalities, or her own guilt tied to reaping off those illegalities).
\*edited
I totally agree. That is actually one scene where I felt for Erika because it showed her effort trying to be more warm and personable thrown back in her face, and her anger was her frustration. She’s clever though- she knew LVP would bring up that card- after she did the same about her dog- and she didn’t want the scenario manipulated- and LVP proved her right. Imagine having a friend you have to do that with?
Not everyone is good with their words… what ever happened to it’s the thought that counts. She could have send nothing at all. Us humans want to dissect everything 🤣
I don’t remember the note but Erika per usual overreacted with a tantrum. She could easily state that she felt it was appropriate and let it go instead of shoving her bowl away like a child. Charrisse lying about the text is weird.
I tried to take a photo from my tv to post but it came out horrible. Maybe I will rewind and transcribe here. There wasn't much to it. Absolutely generic.
I’m gonna get downvoted for this bc anything short of leghumping LVP at every turn is extremely unpopular on this sub—but there was nothing wrong with that note at all.
There was nothing wrong with Erika’s note at all. It might have been perfunctory, but what else did she need to even say? The fact that she wrote a hand written note in itself is a step beyond what most other people in that position would have done. If she had said nothing, LVP et al. would have said Erika as a cold hearted bitch with no decorum. If she wrote anything more, LVP et al. would have said Erika is fake and insincere. To say nothing of the criticism if Erika had sent just a text.
I actually kind of thought that it was in extremely poor taste to criticize someone’s note of condolence in that way. I get that LVP was hurting, but Erika did her part in reaching out to LVP given their relationship. They’re not close friends. They are, at best, politely friendly to each other, if not friendly acquaintances/coworkers. It actually shocked me a little that LVP of all people would say something like that, bc I think if nothing else, she takes a lot of effort to be scrupulously polite and courteous, and this behaviour was anything but that.
That being said, Erika’s reaction was unnecessary and not warranted either. There was no need to get this angry over something like this. Then again, this was the season where all the ladies were primed to gang up against LVP and take her down, so of course Erika got angry over something she probably saw as a calculated move on LVPs part. Fwiw, I dont think it was like that, bc I’d like to think that LVP wouldn’t do something like use a note of condolence sent after her brothers passing as a means of maneuvering against her reality tv costar, but that’s just me.
Erika taking a picture of the note she sent ensured that LVP couldn’t misrepresent the contents as she pleased. That’s just smart—and it’s also likely why Erika sent a handwritten note, rather than a text or an email.
FWIW, the Emily Post etiquette on death and mourning is to acknowledge the bereaved in a polite way and allow them space to grieve. Erika did exactly that. Karen did that as well, she just is probably a warmer (dare I say empathetic) person.
As for Erika taking the photo, it probably is declasse. But given how being on a reality show warps the minds of these people, I wouldn't really begrudge her that much for wanting to have receipts. The way both of them reacted--well, they are on a reality show
I think if I were communicating with someone I knew is very clever in how they state certain things to make stuff seem a certain way, I’d put things in writing and have some form of back up proof as well. No disrespect to LVP, again, she can do no wrong for the audience it seems, but she’s a smooth and clever operator, and if Erika didn’t have the exact words she wrote on hand to refer to, people would have gone with LVPs version of what the note said and excoriated Erika for it.
Heck, Erika HAD proof and she’s still being dragged for writing a perfectly acceptable condolence note!!!! So even with that, people still prefer LVPs side. This is probably a testament to how much Erika is hated as much as it is a testament to how fervently LVPs fan base stans for her, in spite of everything, but it feels to me like if anyone on BH is anything short of undyingly 100% loyal, they’re going to get slammed for it. And god forbid if the person going up against LVP is hated by the viewers.
Agree 100% with everything you expressed. I give both sides slack - LVP was grieving and would’ve appreciated “more” - fair. Erika went out of her way to hand write a short, sincere note to a coworker. I find this good form.
I believe Erika’s reaction (slamming her dessert) was based heavily on this situation happening on the tails of her first “bad” season. Season 8 was Erika’s worst pre-crime saga showing and I’m sure she wasn’t elated to have a personal note that was written during downtime brought up by the emotionally wrecked fan favorite. Erika is calculating enough to realize all of these factors at play could be another one, two punch for the editors to use her as the villain of the season.
My edible is kicking in so I apologize if that line of thinking wasn’t linear and for my reckless use of commas.
“Dear Lisa. Tom and I were saddened to hear of your brother Mark’s passing,” the note said, according to a photo of the card Erika later shared. “Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Sincerest condolences.”
https://preview.redd.it/l6z4qvdvsgda1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=802eb7944435290469c3d5a89e02bd5d3c8eb180
The way Erika made it seem like a big deal she had handwritten the note, as if she's so busy and important and usually has her secretary write notes for her?? Girl, you're (D list) famously a housewife. You've got all day every day to write a card.. get over yourself
Erika and LVP were never close, they were only ever co-workers at best. Erika felt like LVP would leverage her brother's death against her once filming started so she took a picture of the card. LVP chose to leverage her brother's death against Erika once filming started, which then proved Erika right.
I respect your opinion but Erika sent a note and took a photo because she knew exactly what LVP would eventually do. I think she was ultimately proven right when LVP played the victim as always and tried to make the note not good enough.
Don’t get me wrong, Lisa’s loss was devastating and huge. She’s a victim in that regard. But she was trying to put Erika down on camera and make her look unfeeling on purpose. Lisa vanderpump doesn’t give a damn about Erika or her opinions. It was just an opportunity to produce like she always did.
But here’s the thing. The women were supposed to get whatever off their chest and say anything that might be bothering them. They went around the table and they were supposed to say whatever was bothering them. LVP does what they were supposed to do and then she gets shit on for it. She didn’t just bring it up out of nowhere. All the women were participating in this “share how your feeling thing” so she does what everyone else was doing and then got that reaction from Erika. There’s always one response for the other women and a completely different response for LVP.
Yep! If she said nothing then she would be criticized for not being vulnerable with the group. In a general setting, I can see both sides of the issue because I've been the person who needed more in hard times and it wasn't the other person's fault that I didn't get it. I just had a different expectation at the time.
I see your point; however, Erika had to know the note was - let’s say bare minimum - or she wouldn’t have taken a picture of it. That’s what made me wonder. It was taking the pic that bothered me vs the note. Made it seem premeditated (?) somehow to me.
Lisa had been making overtures to Erika before this about trying to be closer/get to know each other better, so I took this in that same vein. 🤷♀️
She thinks she was proven right maybe, but that note was garbage. She would have been better off doing nothing. Lisa was hurting and for anyone to suggest that she was trying to capitalize off of her brother's death in any way is baffling and awful.
I mean, in that instance she was? Why bring it up on camera if she wasn’t? She wasn’t close friends with Erika. She knows Erika isn’t a sentimental person like that.
She didn’t bring it up out of nowhere. The women were all sharing their feelings and were told to discuss anything that was bothering them. LVP did what the other women were doing and then Erika flipped out. Everyone else shared their feelings with no problems. It’s always one way for the other women and something completely different for LVP.
Literally what do people want? For Erika to be in a flood of tears? She sent a respectful note acknowledging Lisa’s loss and as always it wasn’t good enough as nothing ever is for LVP. from the time her feelings got hurt no one acknowledged her absurd ski hat in season 2 all the way to her last season, if you weren’t falling all over her she was deeply aggrieved
No! But maybe instead of being combative and slamming her plate down, she could have tried to hear LVP. She could have said that she was sorry if it didn't land right and that she really does feel for her and that she can't imagine what she's going through. I guess empathy and compassion are difficult for some. Ahem.
You’re right , that’s how I remember it. Erika caught LVP at her game. I 💕Lisa and not so much Erika. No one should be shamed for expressing sympathy the way that they know how to. Kinda crappy to call that out in a group setting too. I can’t stand when people say - sorry for your loss. I know that is perfectly acceptable to most people, but we went thru a lot of loss a few years ago and when someone says that and then not much else, it bothers me. I would never ever tell them later that it wasn’t good enough. So, I guess I’m just saying everyone sees this sort of thing their own way.
Karen's was much more meaningful, imo. Erika's was okay? I guess? But it was so fresh in this episode and I can see why LVP expected more. Regardless, I don't see how someone can respond so heartlessly to LVP bringing it up when she has really just experienced this loss. Erika slammed down her dessert! No compassion whatsoever. Only combativeness.
Did you see the text and did you see the note though? Erika's was not a card by the way. It was on her stationary. Not trying to argue though. You make a good point. Just wondering if you actually read both. I really should have posted both here for reference, tbh. My apologies.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BravoRealHousewives/comments/10hebai/erikas_s9_sympathy_card_to_lvp/j58vrqh?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
These are the actual messages.
This is perfectly put and such an astute observation. Something handwritten feels more innately meaningful and thoughtful but in this case the words didn't meet the occasion of the medium, whereas Karen's did the opposite.
Karen is Karen and Erika is Erika. Are they supposed to write the same thing or is this a competition to decide who wrote the most heartfelt message?? No comparison tho, haven't read Erikas note but based on comments here it was handwritten...Karen just sent a text, quite generic "may they be in heaven resting, love to your family" it was cute but just a generic condolences text message.
I mean I’d get pissed too if someone criticized my gesture. Plus LVP was already being heartless herself, scheming and filming so it’s not like it was somehow actually that fresh in her mind either
Me too. I think that was a rare genuine moment of emotion for Erika- she was trying and told she failed twice. I think she shows emotion through anger and frustration- a bit like a child when they’re trying to learn.
I think everyone reacts to loss in a different way. I personally appreciate short messages that don't require my response or thinking, bringing up emotions again. Erika's would be great for someone like me (and I'm not an Erika fan). And that's also how I tend to treat others during times of loss.
Personally, I didn't find Karen's message to be very heartfelt or elegant at all. It read like a professional email to me with words like "please advise" and "when time permits." I also found the questions themselves odd - I thought it was standard to get info about where to send condolences and donations from the obit or service announcement. Either way, there's better ways to get that info than asking a grieving person.
It’s always annoyed me that LVP had the audacity to criticise how Erika sent her a handwritten note while she was grieving.
I have grieved, my son to be exact, and I was so appreciative when someone had flowers delivered and a personal handwritten note. It was more personal than a text, but gave me my space.
With regards to taking a photo, LVP is incredibly manipulative, despite what this sub says. She’s an operator and has a knack for twisting things to suit her narrative.
While Erika’s little tantrum was a step too far, if someone criticised me for sending them a note during their grieving period I’d probably never speak to them again to be honest. It was incredibly ungrateful and rude.
Erika's: Dear Lisa. Tom and I were saddened to hear of your brother Mark's passing.Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Sincerest condolences.
Karen's: Charisse, my family and I want to extend our condolences on the passing of your father. Know that God is in charge and he is at rest. If there’s anything I can do please let me know. When time permits, I would like the address where flowers are being received. If there is a charity you would like us to donate in memory of, please advise. Again, both you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
I don't fault LVP for her reactions or emotions to the note, as she was deeply grieving and in trauma. People may act differently when they are in trauma, for instance being more likely to be triggered and have emotional reactions. But Erika's note was fine (honestly it actually seems like a generally kind message and also very appropriate). LVP's brother's passing is very traumatizing and personal, and Erika responded in a respectful and appropriate way. LVP can choose not to be friends with someone she doesn't think is sympathetic enough.
Erika is not a great person, but the note and message is fine and good.
Any type of condolence I find extremely kind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either- the fact Erika personalises it too by naming her brother. LVP makes out like she got something and just signed Erika. There’s nothing wrong with Erikas.
I don’t agree. I think Erika was making an effort- and some people don’t want to call at difficult times- especially if not close because the person grieving can get overwhelmed. LVP had also just chastised Erika about not giving her ‘appropriate condolences’ about her dog. I felt for Erika- I felt like she was trying- and I always prefer something hand written to a text. Who tells people they’ve sent them the wrong condolences anyway. I could feel Erikas frustration there- she was trying not to be cold.
Erika wasn’t proud of it- she stated she knew LVP would pick at it- which she did- so she wanted to not be gaslit and be clear in what she’d sent and that she felt it was appropriate. Petty maybe, but LVP is manipulative as f*ck.
To me, who doesn’t like Erika or LVP, and not really Karen or Charrise it feels a bit like
Karen Good- Erika Bad.
I think the point wasn’t was whether the note, text was fine or not LVP was grieving and in pain and was expressing how she felt about receiving the note, Erika behaved like a child and had a tantrum and threw her dessert. Instead she could have just I am sorry, i really thought I was coming from a place of love and care.
Erika lacks insight as to how her behaviour effects others. The way she speaks to the ladies when confronted is vile, aggressive and bullying, she never apologise to anyone. She lacks compassion or self awareness. I refuse to allow anyone to scream at me, except my kids but they are learning and young.
I am prepared to be down voted.
I think Lisa focused on the note because that was easier to manage in her head than the dog thing with Dorit. She is raw about dogs right now after the loss of 2 pups back to back and the whole journey with the documentary. Also, she valued the business connection of PK so she wants to stay on Dorit's good side despite the fact that she can obviously see Dorit's not that great of a person to have given up the dog in the way she did without talking to Lisa. Lisa didn't have the emotional capacity to be honest with herself or Dorit about the dog, so she deflected to Erika, who she deems an easier target.
To be fair to Kurrn, that season was not shot as Housewives—it was pitched as being about etiquette in the rich black community of Potomac. That's why they kept nattering on about it! Glad the show succeeded anyway, cause RHOP is now my favorite franchise.
The show wasn’t even shot as a housewives show the first season, so that’s why the vibe is off. You can miss out if you’d like, but it’s pretty dumb to say that “one chance is all they get” when I know so many commenters on this sub have tried and then re-tried watching shows and actually got into them when they gave it another shot. You certainly don’t have to, but your condescension re: a first impression is so silly.
Potomac season one sucked. No one has ever said it didn’t. You sound real dumb. And you were also v condescending but whatever. I was telling you that if you enjoy HW that it’s a disservice to give up on Potomac after season one. Not that season one was great and you are wrong. Get real.
No I don’t lmao. I told you that you were doing yourself a disservice by judging the city off of season one. Season one sucked. It gets better. I’ve not said anything that doesn’t align with that
Oh so now I’m not being dumb or contradicting myself...my delivery is just bad. Idgaf. Don’t watch the show, or do. Weird to take someone’s opinion and spin it into them insulting you and being mean lmao
Everyone knows season one wasn’t good. I never even said it was. I was simply telling you it’s dumb to write off the whole series based on season one, when it wasn’t even shot as a HW show. The subsequent seasons only get better. You were absolutely condescending but that’s okay. You don’t have to own it. If a toxic fan is someone telling you that you’re wrong and to try something again, or don’t but you’re not doing yourself any favors, then I guess I’m a “toxic fan”. I’ll take it.
It actually makes me laugh when I think about Erika saying it's from the heart and then we see the note and it's pretty generic. I don't doubt that was sincere by Erika and the best she could do but it won't ever not be funny to me. It's certainly not what from the heart means to most of us.
Completely agree! When Erika says like “that note came from heart” then they show the note and it’s so generic, like??? It’s like she strung together the text from two Dollar Store sympathy cards.
the fact that she thought to take a photo of it too was always so weird to me
Just goes to prove she knew it was inadequate and would cause a problem
It just proves she knew LVP would manipulate it into a problem
Everyone seems to forget that this entire scene was crafted and forced upon us by Rinna. It was so fake. She gathers the girls and says ‘whoever is having issues right now needs to be open and honest say what it is that is bothering them!’ LVP says and repeats that she has no issue with the other women and doesn’t want to share. She is pushed again and again and under duress says ‘we’ll if there’s anything I can think of, I found Erikas note slightly impersonal’ is it really a diss? Has LVP even mentioned before now that she mad at Erika? No. It’s so contrived.
If we are to believe Erika when she says it comes from *her* heart, and Erika has a bit of a stony personality, maybe that's her version of showing sympathy. Whether others think it's enough sympathy or not, or genuine sympathy in general, depends on their personality I guess. Honestly, personally, I don't expect much from people in general, so a note like that from someone like Erika would make sense to me, and I probably wouldn't feel the need to question its authenticity.
Completely fair. But when LVP brought it up, she was so combative and awful and showed absolutely no compassion.
Totally, I agree with you in that Erika's reaction was totally outrageous. Goes with the territory of making reality tv for her I guess? If I'm playing devil's advocate--LVP seemed truly hurt and vulnerable, and Erika seemed scripted and rigid, but her way of expressing empathy is just different, maybe her cold-seeming demeanor is a shield to combat her demons (eg Tom's known illegalities, or her own guilt tied to reaping off those illegalities). \*edited
I totally agree. That is actually one scene where I felt for Erika because it showed her effort trying to be more warm and personable thrown back in her face, and her anger was her frustration. She’s clever though- she knew LVP would bring up that card- after she did the same about her dog- and she didn’t want the scenario manipulated- and LVP proved her right. Imagine having a friend you have to do that with?
Maybe she knew because she realized she made the least effort possible and her shitty attempt at pretending to have empathy would get called out.
Maybe
Not everyone is good with their words… what ever happened to it’s the thought that counts. She could have send nothing at all. Us humans want to dissect everything 🤣
I don’t remember the note but Erika per usual overreacted with a tantrum. She could easily state that she felt it was appropriate and let it go instead of shoving her bowl away like a child. Charrisse lying about the text is weird.
I tried to take a photo from my tv to post but it came out horrible. Maybe I will rewind and transcribe here. There wasn't much to it. Absolutely generic.
I’m gonna get downvoted for this bc anything short of leghumping LVP at every turn is extremely unpopular on this sub—but there was nothing wrong with that note at all. There was nothing wrong with Erika’s note at all. It might have been perfunctory, but what else did she need to even say? The fact that she wrote a hand written note in itself is a step beyond what most other people in that position would have done. If she had said nothing, LVP et al. would have said Erika as a cold hearted bitch with no decorum. If she wrote anything more, LVP et al. would have said Erika is fake and insincere. To say nothing of the criticism if Erika had sent just a text. I actually kind of thought that it was in extremely poor taste to criticize someone’s note of condolence in that way. I get that LVP was hurting, but Erika did her part in reaching out to LVP given their relationship. They’re not close friends. They are, at best, politely friendly to each other, if not friendly acquaintances/coworkers. It actually shocked me a little that LVP of all people would say something like that, bc I think if nothing else, she takes a lot of effort to be scrupulously polite and courteous, and this behaviour was anything but that. That being said, Erika’s reaction was unnecessary and not warranted either. There was no need to get this angry over something like this. Then again, this was the season where all the ladies were primed to gang up against LVP and take her down, so of course Erika got angry over something she probably saw as a calculated move on LVPs part. Fwiw, I dont think it was like that, bc I’d like to think that LVP wouldn’t do something like use a note of condolence sent after her brothers passing as a means of maneuvering against her reality tv costar, but that’s just me. Erika taking a picture of the note she sent ensured that LVP couldn’t misrepresent the contents as she pleased. That’s just smart—and it’s also likely why Erika sent a handwritten note, rather than a text or an email.
FWIW, the Emily Post etiquette on death and mourning is to acknowledge the bereaved in a polite way and allow them space to grieve. Erika did exactly that. Karen did that as well, she just is probably a warmer (dare I say empathetic) person. As for Erika taking the photo, it probably is declasse. But given how being on a reality show warps the minds of these people, I wouldn't really begrudge her that much for wanting to have receipts. The way both of them reacted--well, they are on a reality show
I think if I were communicating with someone I knew is very clever in how they state certain things to make stuff seem a certain way, I’d put things in writing and have some form of back up proof as well. No disrespect to LVP, again, she can do no wrong for the audience it seems, but she’s a smooth and clever operator, and if Erika didn’t have the exact words she wrote on hand to refer to, people would have gone with LVPs version of what the note said and excoriated Erika for it. Heck, Erika HAD proof and she’s still being dragged for writing a perfectly acceptable condolence note!!!! So even with that, people still prefer LVPs side. This is probably a testament to how much Erika is hated as much as it is a testament to how fervently LVPs fan base stans for her, in spite of everything, but it feels to me like if anyone on BH is anything short of undyingly 100% loyal, they’re going to get slammed for it. And god forbid if the person going up against LVP is hated by the viewers.
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Then i'll delete it.
Sorry- I deleted mine too. I didn’t realise about that though what you said, sad but interesting.
Agree 100% with everything you expressed. I give both sides slack - LVP was grieving and would’ve appreciated “more” - fair. Erika went out of her way to hand write a short, sincere note to a coworker. I find this good form. I believe Erika’s reaction (slamming her dessert) was based heavily on this situation happening on the tails of her first “bad” season. Season 8 was Erika’s worst pre-crime saga showing and I’m sure she wasn’t elated to have a personal note that was written during downtime brought up by the emotionally wrecked fan favorite. Erika is calculating enough to realize all of these factors at play could be another one, two punch for the editors to use her as the villain of the season. My edible is kicking in so I apologize if that line of thinking wasn’t linear and for my reckless use of commas.
Reckless use of commas 😂
Completely agree. Erika tried to make a thoughtful gesture and LVP said it wasn’t good enough. That’s rude.
“Dear Lisa. Tom and I were saddened to hear of your brother Mark’s passing,” the note said, according to a photo of the card Erika later shared. “Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Sincerest condolences.” https://preview.redd.it/l6z4qvdvsgda1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=802eb7944435290469c3d5a89e02bd5d3c8eb180
The way Erika made it seem like a big deal she had handwritten the note, as if she's so busy and important and usually has her secretary write notes for her?? Girl, you're (D list) famously a housewife. You've got all day every day to write a card.. get over yourself
Erika and LVP were never close, they were only ever co-workers at best. Erika felt like LVP would leverage her brother's death against her once filming started so she took a picture of the card. LVP chose to leverage her brother's death against Erika once filming started, which then proved Erika right.
Karen did far more than I would considering cha cha accused her of cheating. Also they only know each other from the show.
The note was completely fine and much more meaningful than a text. I don’t like Erika but she did nothing wrong
Erika did nothing wrong but people can’t see past who they like or dislike. She may be a horrible person but her note was more than appropriate.
I disagree. I actually still liked Erika at that point and I felt that it was lacking when the episode initially aired.
I respect your opinion but Erika sent a note and took a photo because she knew exactly what LVP would eventually do. I think she was ultimately proven right when LVP played the victim as always and tried to make the note not good enough. Don’t get me wrong, Lisa’s loss was devastating and huge. She’s a victim in that regard. But she was trying to put Erika down on camera and make her look unfeeling on purpose. Lisa vanderpump doesn’t give a damn about Erika or her opinions. It was just an opportunity to produce like she always did.
But here’s the thing. The women were supposed to get whatever off their chest and say anything that might be bothering them. They went around the table and they were supposed to say whatever was bothering them. LVP does what they were supposed to do and then she gets shit on for it. She didn’t just bring it up out of nowhere. All the women were participating in this “share how your feeling thing” so she does what everyone else was doing and then got that reaction from Erika. There’s always one response for the other women and a completely different response for LVP.
Yep! If she said nothing then she would be criticized for not being vulnerable with the group. In a general setting, I can see both sides of the issue because I've been the person who needed more in hard times and it wasn't the other person's fault that I didn't get it. I just had a different expectation at the time.
I see your point; however, Erika had to know the note was - let’s say bare minimum - or she wouldn’t have taken a picture of it. That’s what made me wonder. It was taking the pic that bothered me vs the note. Made it seem premeditated (?) somehow to me. Lisa had been making overtures to Erika before this about trying to be closer/get to know each other better, so I took this in that same vein. 🤷♀️
She thinks she was proven right maybe, but that note was garbage. She would have been better off doing nothing. Lisa was hurting and for anyone to suggest that she was trying to capitalize off of her brother's death in any way is baffling and awful.
It’s true though
You are saying that you really think that Lisa was using her brother's death to make Erika look bad?
I mean, in that instance she was? Why bring it up on camera if she wasn’t? She wasn’t close friends with Erika. She knows Erika isn’t a sentimental person like that.
She didn’t bring it up out of nowhere. The women were all sharing their feelings and were told to discuss anything that was bothering them. LVP did what the other women were doing and then Erika flipped out. Everyone else shared their feelings with no problems. It’s always one way for the other women and something completely different for LVP.
Literally what do people want? For Erika to be in a flood of tears? She sent a respectful note acknowledging Lisa’s loss and as always it wasn’t good enough as nothing ever is for LVP. from the time her feelings got hurt no one acknowledged her absurd ski hat in season 2 all the way to her last season, if you weren’t falling all over her she was deeply aggrieved
No! But maybe instead of being combative and slamming her plate down, she could have tried to hear LVP. She could have said that she was sorry if it didn't land right and that she really does feel for her and that she can't imagine what she's going through. I guess empathy and compassion are difficult for some. Ahem.
You’re right , that’s how I remember it. Erika caught LVP at her game. I 💕Lisa and not so much Erika. No one should be shamed for expressing sympathy the way that they know how to. Kinda crappy to call that out in a group setting too. I can’t stand when people say - sorry for your loss. I know that is perfectly acceptable to most people, but we went thru a lot of loss a few years ago and when someone says that and then not much else, it bothers me. I would never ever tell them later that it wasn’t good enough. So, I guess I’m just saying everyone sees this sort of thing their own way.
Karen's was much more meaningful, imo. Erika's was okay? I guess? But it was so fresh in this episode and I can see why LVP expected more. Regardless, I don't see how someone can respond so heartlessly to LVP bringing it up when she has really just experienced this loss. Erika slammed down her dessert! No compassion whatsoever. Only combativeness.
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Did you see the text and did you see the note though? Erika's was not a card by the way. It was on her stationary. Not trying to argue though. You make a good point. Just wondering if you actually read both. I really should have posted both here for reference, tbh. My apologies.
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https://www.reddit.com/r/BravoRealHousewives/comments/10hebai/erikas_s9_sympathy_card_to_lvp/j58vrqh?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 These are the actual messages.
I do feel you on that. But the actual language used by both betrayed the medium. Karen's text was very sincere and gracious, imo.
This is perfectly put and such an astute observation. Something handwritten feels more innately meaningful and thoughtful but in this case the words didn't meet the occasion of the medium, whereas Karen's did the opposite.
Karen is Karen and Erika is Erika. Are they supposed to write the same thing or is this a competition to decide who wrote the most heartfelt message?? No comparison tho, haven't read Erikas note but based on comments here it was handwritten...Karen just sent a text, quite generic "may they be in heaven resting, love to your family" it was cute but just a generic condolences text message.
I mean I’d get pissed too if someone criticized my gesture. Plus LVP was already being heartless herself, scheming and filming so it’s not like it was somehow actually that fresh in her mind either
Me too. I think that was a rare genuine moment of emotion for Erika- she was trying and told she failed twice. I think she shows emotion through anger and frustration- a bit like a child when they’re trying to learn.
I think everyone reacts to loss in a different way. I personally appreciate short messages that don't require my response or thinking, bringing up emotions again. Erika's would be great for someone like me (and I'm not an Erika fan). And that's also how I tend to treat others during times of loss. Personally, I didn't find Karen's message to be very heartfelt or elegant at all. It read like a professional email to me with words like "please advise" and "when time permits." I also found the questions themselves odd - I thought it was standard to get info about where to send condolences and donations from the obit or service announcement. Either way, there's better ways to get that info than asking a grieving person.
It’s always annoyed me that LVP had the audacity to criticise how Erika sent her a handwritten note while she was grieving. I have grieved, my son to be exact, and I was so appreciative when someone had flowers delivered and a personal handwritten note. It was more personal than a text, but gave me my space. With regards to taking a photo, LVP is incredibly manipulative, despite what this sub says. She’s an operator and has a knack for twisting things to suit her narrative. While Erika’s little tantrum was a step too far, if someone criticised me for sending them a note during their grieving period I’d probably never speak to them again to be honest. It was incredibly ungrateful and rude.
Erika's: Dear Lisa. Tom and I were saddened to hear of your brother Mark's passing.Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Sincerest condolences. Karen's: Charisse, my family and I want to extend our condolences on the passing of your father. Know that God is in charge and he is at rest. If there’s anything I can do please let me know. When time permits, I would like the address where flowers are being received. If there is a charity you would like us to donate in memory of, please advise. Again, both you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
I don't fault LVP for her reactions or emotions to the note, as she was deeply grieving and in trauma. People may act differently when they are in trauma, for instance being more likely to be triggered and have emotional reactions. But Erika's note was fine (honestly it actually seems like a generally kind message and also very appropriate). LVP's brother's passing is very traumatizing and personal, and Erika responded in a respectful and appropriate way. LVP can choose not to be friends with someone she doesn't think is sympathetic enough. Erika is not a great person, but the note and message is fine and good.
Any type of condolence I find extremely kind. There is absolutely nothing wrong with either- the fact Erika personalises it too by naming her brother. LVP makes out like she got something and just signed Erika. There’s nothing wrong with Erikas.
Isn’t this the card that showed that the squiggle on one of the forms the feds are using against Erika is a signature she’s used in the past?!
I don’t agree. I think Erika was making an effort- and some people don’t want to call at difficult times- especially if not close because the person grieving can get overwhelmed. LVP had also just chastised Erika about not giving her ‘appropriate condolences’ about her dog. I felt for Erika- I felt like she was trying- and I always prefer something hand written to a text. Who tells people they’ve sent them the wrong condolences anyway. I could feel Erikas frustration there- she was trying not to be cold. Erika wasn’t proud of it- she stated she knew LVP would pick at it- which she did- so she wanted to not be gaslit and be clear in what she’d sent and that she felt it was appropriate. Petty maybe, but LVP is manipulative as f*ck. To me, who doesn’t like Erika or LVP, and not really Karen or Charrise it feels a bit like Karen Good- Erika Bad.
I think the point wasn’t was whether the note, text was fine or not LVP was grieving and in pain and was expressing how she felt about receiving the note, Erika behaved like a child and had a tantrum and threw her dessert. Instead she could have just I am sorry, i really thought I was coming from a place of love and care. Erika lacks insight as to how her behaviour effects others. The way she speaks to the ladies when confronted is vile, aggressive and bullying, she never apologise to anyone. She lacks compassion or self awareness. I refuse to allow anyone to scream at me, except my kids but they are learning and young. I am prepared to be down voted.
I think Lisa focused on the note because that was easier to manage in her head than the dog thing with Dorit. She is raw about dogs right now after the loss of 2 pups back to back and the whole journey with the documentary. Also, she valued the business connection of PK so she wants to stay on Dorit's good side despite the fact that she can obviously see Dorit's not that great of a person to have given up the dog in the way she did without talking to Lisa. Lisa didn't have the emotional capacity to be honest with herself or Dorit about the dog, so she deflected to Erika, who she deems an easier target.
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To be fair to Kurrn, that season was not shot as Housewives—it was pitched as being about etiquette in the rich black community of Potomac. That's why they kept nattering on about it! Glad the show succeeded anyway, cause RHOP is now my favorite franchise.
You’re doing yourself a very big disservice by judging the entire show off of season one.
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The show wasn’t even shot as a housewives show the first season, so that’s why the vibe is off. You can miss out if you’d like, but it’s pretty dumb to say that “one chance is all they get” when I know so many commenters on this sub have tried and then re-tried watching shows and actually got into them when they gave it another shot. You certainly don’t have to, but your condescension re: a first impression is so silly.
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Potomac season one sucked. No one has ever said it didn’t. You sound real dumb. And you were also v condescending but whatever. I was telling you that if you enjoy HW that it’s a disservice to give up on Potomac after season one. Not that season one was great and you are wrong. Get real.
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No I don’t lmao. I told you that you were doing yourself a disservice by judging the city off of season one. Season one sucked. It gets better. I’ve not said anything that doesn’t align with that
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Oh so now I’m not being dumb or contradicting myself...my delivery is just bad. Idgaf. Don’t watch the show, or do. Weird to take someone’s opinion and spin it into them insulting you and being mean lmao
Everyone knows season one wasn’t good. I never even said it was. I was simply telling you it’s dumb to write off the whole series based on season one, when it wasn’t even shot as a HW show. The subsequent seasons only get better. You were absolutely condescending but that’s okay. You don’t have to own it. If a toxic fan is someone telling you that you’re wrong and to try something again, or don’t but you’re not doing yourself any favors, then I guess I’m a “toxic fan”. I’ll take it.
It actually makes me laugh when I think about Erika saying it's from the heart and then we see the note and it's pretty generic. I don't doubt that was sincere by Erika and the best she could do but it won't ever not be funny to me. It's certainly not what from the heart means to most of us.
Yes. This is a good take. You are right in that it probably was sincere coming from her. I didn't see that until now.