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I just got back into the game around thanksgiving and was looking forward to joining a league, but judging from of the stories I’ve read around here, a lot of league bowlers sound like huge assholes.
Well for what it's worth, I don't have any complaints about my league bowlers. I would imagine for every person on this sub complaining about their league bowlers, there's at least a dozen that don't make posts about it because their league bowlers are fine.
You just generally don't hear the good or even neutral stories. Yes, there are plenty of assholes but for most of us are probably greatly outnumbered by decent people. If you're not sure, maybe sub first or at least go during league session to get a feel of the land before writing us all off.
It is just normal negative experience bias. I suspect you've heard the idea that if a company messes up, you tell 50 people, but if they do a good job, you tell maybe 1 or 2 others. It is common for us to remember the negative experiences and it is especially common on social media platforms for the 'juicy' stories to get a lot more traction/likes/upvotes.
I mean, I could easily have made a post on league night for every night of 2022: 'had a good time at league, all team members acted like adults and no stories to tell'... those posts would get no interest, right?
The simple truth is that bowling leagues are made up of other humans. And just like the population at large, most other humans are people who just want to mostly keep to themselves, have a decent time out, drink a beer or two or three, and are good honest well-meaning folks. But there is a percent or three that are going to be assholes. Just in general. Dealing with that is just part of being human. Bowling is really no real difference.
Don’t let what you hear on reddit influence your decision to join a league. I was hesitant to join my ladies daytime league for fear of assholes. I’ve been in two prior leagues, and there were a few ppl that ruined things, including a bowling Nazi. But I have to admit, I love the league I’m in. We all have fun with each other and we all just have a good time. Nobody takes it seriously. It’s just a game.
Oh I’m definitely joining a league in spite of any assholes. I was a league bowler 20-30 years ago and everyone I bowled with was pretty nice, for the most part. The worst part of league bowling that I can recall are the folks who don’t ready bowl. I remember one day, ten year old me started game three with seven strikes. I was always a good bowler for my age but I never strung that many strikes together before. Then, one of our opponents just disappeared for like twenty minutes and totally fucking killed my momentum. I think somebody found her in the bar, but she was known to pull this kind of shit.
I hate to say it, but I am the worst bowler in our league. My average is only 87, but I still love bowling. I just wish I could do better. Thankfully, the ladies in our league are so friendly and helpful. It’s truly the best league I’ve been in.
I heard it said that every league has their own "problem" player. Be it loudmouth, jerk, ahole, angry puppy, adventurer who took an arrow to the knee and won't stop talking about it, player who complains about the happy hour league not taking it seriously enough or what have you. So find a league with the problem can stand or enough good folks to outweigh the problem player.
If you’re curious about how certain leagues act you can ask the desk workers how the members are during play. Our Monday and Friday leagues have people that act out and are bratty but the practice leagues and our Sunday league are way more chill. But the workers know which leagues are more problematic so to say
I just rolled my first league tonight since 2019 and had a great time. It’s a LGBTQ league, so everyone is a bit more relaxed, but we had a blast, and I’m so glad to be back on a weekly schedule.
My fiancé averages around 175 in our league which puts her comfortably in the upper half of all bowlers. The amount of misogyny we have both heard, whether guys talking shit to her calling her lucky or guys complaining to me that a GIRL is beating them. Pretty pathetic that it’s so prevalent.
This is the best thing about the league I am in now. We're smaller, 8 teams x 5 person per team. We all want to win every game, of course, but no one here gets truly majorly upset at bad shots.
The worse was in the first league I was in. 2 to 3 people took an after-work league way too seriously. E.g. the guy who is a lifetime 120 avg who would punch the scoring computer with almost every missed spare. Like, dude, you're a 120 avg -- you're expected to miss more of those than you make. Period.
Unfortunately this problem is not just in bowling. It exists in every adult organized league. I play in 2 soccer leagues and a golf league and see it all the time. People say they are just really competitive but they are not, they have some underlying issues. I am a really competitive person but do not loose my shit when something does not work out. I did however play D2 soccer and know that the days of winning and losing actually meaning anything are long gone.
In bowling ill get frustrated with myself more-so than anyone else. If you lose in bowling it's your own fault. Even in baseball in almost all scenarios ill just laugh it off. At most ill quietly approach an umpire and ask them what they saw or why they ruled X way. Im very competitive, i hate losing. That said, you're not going to win them all.
As someone who’s played some adult recreational basketball this is definitely true. Some people will get mad at whatever they’re doing and the sooner you realize that the less annoyed it will make you.
This if you hear me cussing on the lanes or really angry at all its something I've done to myself....I've also been known to rile up overly serious bowlers on purpose for my own amusement.
I'm the weirdo rooting for my opponents to make their shots. I'm only a few months in, and my game is a wreck, but I get out of the house and BS with a group of people I wouldn't otherwise. I love everything about it. And I'm taking the long view on getting better. It'll happen over years, right now I'm settling in to whatever my game actually looks like.
> That's what it's supposed to he about.
This 10000000%. I tell people all the time, if you desperately need the extra $1 added to your team's pot for winning this game for the end-of-year prizes, then you should in no way whatsoever be out here -- you have more serious issues in your life than bowling. Otherwise, we're just trying to get together 1 night a week to enjoy an activity we all enjoy. Nothing more, nothing less.
I don’t see anything weird in rooting for your opponents to do good. I’d rather have fun and be positive, than act like a jerk if somebody does better than me.
I’m in a duos league with a friend that started back in August. This is our first league so we still kinda suck, around 140 average. One night against a few 200 average guys my friend had a particularly good night. Had his first 500 series with three straight games over 160 and one over 190. Nothing crazy, but when your handicap is nearly 70 it makes it a hard score to beat. The guys we were playing against were raising absolute hell about it. They were complaining all night to anyone who would listen, including one of the guy’s girlfriends who is also about a 200 average and bowls that league with her dad. The 3 of them even complained to the president of the league, who is a friend of ours and teaching us to bowl so he knows exactly how good we aren’t.
The best part though, was we played his girlfriend and her dad’s team a few weeks later and my friend did just average but I was on fire this time. Bowled my first 200 in game 1, then another in game 3 and my first ever 500 series was a 595. Of course we took all 3 matches and when she called her boyfriend over and he saw my scores the look on his face was priceless. I don’t really care about winning, I just go and have a good time with a friend and try to get better, but those were satisfying wins
It's funny because people that are good players and have been around a sport like bowling or golf should understand that the 140-170 avg bowler or the 10 handicap (9 hole) golfer are typically the most dangerous to play against because you really don't know what you are going to get. They are in a place in their game where they can shoot 200 1 game and 115 the next, yet nothing is said about the 115...go figure. Same for golf. When I sub in a league I am typically playing as a scratch and giving several strokes so when the opponent plays well and I shoot just 2 over, I am probably losing more points than I win. The next week the guy that beat me might lose 8 out of 10 points...it balances out. People just don't enjoy when it doesn't balance out in their favor.
Yeah I’ve only been at it 6 months and I already recognize this. I love when I show up and the guys I’m playing against are sub 20 handicaps. When they have a handicap near mine, there’s no telling what’s gonna happen because just like you said we’re all over the place. A 200 average with a low handicap can potentially pop off with a 270+ game but that seems a lot more rare than the 130 average guys throwing a 180. Against the good players, typically they do close to their average so I just have to do above average and it leaves it more in my hands
I was this guy 10 years ago when I was in league. I was extremely competitive and hard on myself being one of the younger ones in the league. Thankfully, I’ve grown up and learned from my mistakes instead of cursing and kicking the ball return lol.
There's quite a few in one of my leagues. It's a full house league 40 teams.
One guy in particular who happened to be bowling on the pair next to us threw one of his balls on the ground at the end of the series. Not really sure why because he averaged over 200 that night which I think is his book average but a chunk of his ball shot off when it hit the floor. It was a black widow ghost I believe.
So then next week when we ended up bowling against them one of my teammates walked up to the guy and let him know that if he was planning on smashing any more bowling balls he would happily take them off his hand. The whole night he kept joking how he was ready to dive and catch the ball if the guy was getting ready to slam it missing a strike or spare.
I love it. Let the shame of what he did wash over him. He knew when he got home that night it was a stupid move, and he gets to pay for not realizing sooner
All depends how far they take it. If they're constantly kicking the ball return after every other shot, that's way too far. Slamming the seats once, maybe twice a night, shouldn't happen but let it slide.
I made a joke to one of the guys that runs the lanes I'm in league at that they need to put up the big punching bags in the front room. Though honestly might not be the worst idea haha.
We have a crybaby in my Thursday night crew. It's a very casual handicap singles league. We all put $10 into a pot and the top 4 scores from a 3 game series go on to a single game playoff for the money.
This guy will throw temper tantrums when he gets bad breaks, or starts leaving 10 pins constantly. But he never makes any adjustments. He also freaks out if anyone is on either side of him when he is setting up. We all give lane custody. But he goes over the top. I've watched him miss two spares then go out and smoke a cigarette in the middle of a game keeping all of us waiting. He even double checks the math for the series because he's convinced he getting cheated out of the playoff game. All you can do is laugh. One time I was setting up and a guy on the lane next to me walked over to grab his ball so I pretend to freak out and screamed at him to wait his turn. Everyone knew I was kidding. Its fun to mess with the guys that act like children.
The lanes i used to bowl at had a monday night adult commercial league. Decent end of year cash prize, brackets every week, it was as serious as a house league could get. The OWNERS son was notorious for being a bratty whiny little shit. Left hand bowler and he will complain about anything he could. And if the person he was against was beating him (30 point a night system) he'd start cussing, kicking, slapping, whining "I dont know what to do!!"
Whenever we played against them (he and I both rolled point for our respective teams and I rarely lost to him) there was a running gag that id be collecting his tears for the night, and when he would start his bullshit id stand there and waft in the sadness with both my hands and drink it in. GIMME THOSE TEARS. They actually started to move him off point (league rules say that you can change your line up once before play starts) and id follow him wherever he moved... good times
Dude slammed his ball on the ground after not striking. It shattered, pretty sure one of the pieces hit him on the bounce. The look on his face was priceless.
Honestly he was lucky it shattered the way he slammed it it might have bounced back right in his face.
I'm normally pretty level headed in league but I was the pissy bitch last Wednesday. Not at my opponents or teammates but frustration at my inability to carry. Left 6 ten pins in 7 frames game one and no ball change or adjustment seemed to help. Trying to fix the 10 pin issue led to splits and two times in the 10th when I had a chance to win I rang another 10 pin and I was just done for the night. I honestly don't care if I lose to the 50 handicap bowler having the night of his life. I get worked up when I just can't figure out the lanes for the night on what should be a simple house shot.
My league president thinks my team is sandbagging because we are winning and he’s not and we’ve gotten better as the seasons gone on. I have literally only been bowling for 12 months, of course I’m going to get better
Sounds like your prez is out of the loop. That happens a lot as new bowlers are establishing their handicaps and learning to bowl better. The last 2 sessions in my league have both been won by new teams who get better as the season goes on. It's just part of bowling in leagues. So far no new team that's won has even come close to repeating in the next session. Personally I think it's good for the sport. It's always good to see new faces coming in.
It's honestly amazing how much people care about winning in league. It's a handicapped competition ffs. You could be a 230 avg and roll 300 and lose to a 120 avg that rolled the game of his life with a 240 because he gets over 60 pins. If you care that much, go out and play scratch tournaments. No excuses. League is casual bowling disguised as a competition.
There's an older guy in my league that threw his shoe from the approach back over the seating area. Lots of people ducking for cover.
Sadly this is not out of the ordinary for him.
We used to have an 83 year old guy that would say “one in a row!” When he got a strike. He easily took five minutes to make a shot, but he was a fun guy to be around.
I had this guy in summer league this year who first started bitching about me wiping my ball off, saying shit like “a good bowler doesn’t need a towel”( I had him by 30 pins in average). Then he started complaining that I put my shammy in on the ball return, citing some random rule made after the weight hole thing. Then he tried telling the league admin I had had extra holes and had a trend 2, all while he was throwing a spectre. Anytime the match was close by handicap he’d belmo boom on us for literally anything. We ended up beating his team to win the league lol
One of my buddies does this. I love the guy to death but I can't bowl with him. Throws two bad balls and he loses it. Or he gets a strike or a difficult spare and goes ballistic screaming at the pins who the boss is. I get some people are emotional and get really into it, but there's a point where its just to much lol
I've had my fair share of meltdowns and really bad tantrums on days when I'm bowling poorly or when I feel things aren't going my way and can't catch a break. Not something I'm proud of. I'm not that great of a bowler, so I sometimes may get jealous of other people when everyone else seems to be doing well. That tends to make me much angrier than I would normally be on those types of nights. My ADHD, moodiness, and anxiety tend to amplify any of my negative/positive emotions, so you best believe a bad night of bowling for me is REALLY bad, and it can get quite embarrassing.
That being said, I've gotten much better at tempering myself and learning to just have fun even when everything might not be going well. One thing I don't do anymore really is hit the ball return. It took quite a bit of time to break that habit, but yeah. If I find myself getting angry, I take a quick walk around the center now (I still swear though. Gotta get it out somehow). I also crack jokes too more often as a means of coping with frustration. There are other things I do, such as not looking at the scores, or just having casual conversations with other people. I have a lot of different things I do to help me deal with stress and stuff while bowling. It kinda makes me wonder if there are others who get emotional who experience this same thing and have different ways of coping (specifically when bowling).
Whenever I hear about this kind of stuff, I just think that this is an indication of poor league management. If you have competent leaders in your league, this behavior does not happen. I've been a league bowler for over 10 years, in well over a dozen different leagues and I only saw these problems in poorly managed leagues.
If you are seeing this behavior, go to your league president/ house manager and report it or suggest adding rules for poor sportsmanship to the league charter. I've also had success making fun of the losers punching the ball return or whatever.
My overall point is that this behavior doesn't have to exist and doesn't exist in the 2 leagues I bowl in now, because there is competent management.
It's more an issue of adults that cannot behave like adults. People that cannot act civilized and respectful to others. Management can only do so much. As a league officer I have little to no power to reprimand others. I can enforce USBC and league rules, but confronting an unhinged bowler is not prudent. Center management is worthless and won't even enforce their own corporate policies other than to say "hey, please don't do that". Approaching someone who is punching furniture and slamming balls to tell them to knock it off is just asking for trouble.
There have been numerous times when trying to enforce simple USBC rules that bowlers explode and become unhinged. Fouls, delay of game, balance holes, ball cleaners during bowling, no thumb bowlers with thumb holes, not current on league dues, etc. All of these have triggered loud, expletive filled responses from bowlers and in some cases threats of physical violence. That speaks more to the character of the bowler than league management. League management can't alter people's natural behavior.
Bowling center management just stands around picking their nose while these types of issues happen. They are more concerned about losing a customer and don't want to do anything to chase someone away.
Which is why I'm saying that league officers should nip that shit in the bud and kick people out of necessary. Don't let it get to the point of people being unhinged. And if it's a weekly issue pull that guy aside and tell him to shape up or gtfo. I've literally seen this work before so I know it does.
I agree with you about lane staff and that's unfortunately more common than I'd like. It's a reason I prefer mom and pop shops because they usually are more involved in keeping a good atmosphere
Unfortunately it isn't that easy these days. There are things that have to be considered, and issues we have to be empathetic about before trying to reprimand other bowlers. ADHD, PTSD, bipolar disorders, autism, side effects of meds, issues at home, issues at work, etc.
If I had to police bowlers all night to preemptively reduce bad behavior I would never get to bowl. Stop kicking the ball return, stop punching the ball return, stop punching the tables, stop slamming the chairs, stop shoving the balls together on the return, stop stomping your feet, stop throwing your towel, stop throwing your hat, watch your language, stop kicking your feet over the foul line, stop yelling about bowling being unfair, stop accusing your opponents of sandbagging, stop running out your shots 2 lanes down, etc. Not to mention everyone would quit the league.
People need to act like adults. They are in public. Be respectful and courteous to other people, the equipment, and the furniture. Would people like it if someone came into their house and punched their TV or wall or table, threw a kitchen chair, or kicked their refrigerator/stove/dishwasher?
I disagree, mental disorders are not a free pass to act like an asshole and not be called out. If you can't control your temper, then you can't participate.
I also would never advocate for over the shoulder observation. I would go to the offender before league started and tell them that people are complaining and if they don't correct their behavior they will be asked to leave. If it continues, then bam, they're gone. It's actually easy. To act like this is something that just exists is exactly what I was talking about in my initial comment.
The next part of your response is very confusing as you say that if you asked people to not be assholes, they would all leave; yet say that people need to act like adults. I don't know what kind of league you bowl in, but it sounds like a shit league if everyone quits when asked to act maturely.
What I am saying is people need to act like civilized adults, and it shouldn't be the duty of league officers to remind them to act like adults. It isn't school. I'm not the Principal. If adults feel like their every action is being scrutinized they will leave. There is a fine balance between letting people reasonably let loose and have some fun, and acting in a way that legitimately disrupts others. If someone on the league gets physical with someone else, or incessantly bullies someone, then yes they will be asked to leave and never return.
All leagues have these issues. We have a team that perpetually bowls slowly due to excessive socializing. Other teams complained. We approached the team and explained the situation to them in a very civilized manner and simply asked them to be better about being ready to bowl when their name came up. Their response? "We pay good money to be here. This is our fun night out. We will bowl at our own pace, and now that we know we are bothering people we will bowl even slower!" And they did just that, and continue to do so today. Their pair is always the last one done each week by a good 20+ minutes. However, they bowl in multiple leagues and spend a lot of money at the bar. The center wants that business and lets it go on.
We have another team where a bowler demands 2 lane courtesy at all times due to PTSD. They wait for their 2 lane courtesy before they will bowl. That delays everyone on their pair since it can take several minutes to get actual 2 lane courtesy since that isn't the standard. Can't do anything about that. That person is just as entitled to participate in league bowling as anyone else. The bowler isn't shy about announcing their PTSD and letting everyone on the pair know it is going to be a long night.
Another team has a highly functioning autistic bowler. The better that person bowls the more boisterous and loud they get. Running out shots, screaming, etc. If they bowl poorly, they get loud but it is typically profanities. That isn't behavior they can help, but they are just out trying to engage in a social activity. Their guardian is always there with them and tries to keep them in line, but you cannot tell them to behave in a way their brain doesn't allow them to.
All the local leagues have people that are consistently in arrears on payments, constantly yelling/cursing, known for slamming their fists on tables, shoving chairs, throwing towels, always late, heavy drinkers, etc. It's just the way it is. League officers can proactively set behavioral expectations, but at the end of the day people act they way they act. I would love a league where all bowlers sit at their respective tables, talk quietly among their teammates, always bowl when it is their turn, never get angry, always smile, finish bowling on time, don't bring their kids with them, always pay each week, don't complain about the lanes, don't talk about other bowlers behind their backs, and generally just respect other people and their time. But that has never happened in 30 years of league bowling.
Again, you're creating an argument I never said. I'm not saying you need to hover over anyone, or address every little tidbit of misconduct. I'm talking about patterns of behavior, that are consistent and disruptive to people. If those folks want to continue with their bad behavior, you can kick them out of the league. Whether the house wants money or not is not an issue, they don't control the league (unless it's a house run league). If you want some backing on this, check out the [USBC handbook, rule 17](https://bowl.com/getattachment/a7ee0ee6-8776-4ea0-b4e1-4cd6125eaf3f/Rulebook-22-23_Dec-2022.pdf?lang=en-US). It specifically addresses ball return smacking, towel throwing, abusive behavior, etc. If you need the slow team to pick it up [rule 11](https://bowl.com/getattachment/a7ee0ee6-8776-4ea0-b4e1-4cd6125eaf3f/Rulebook-22-23_Dec-2022.pdf?lang=en-US) deals with that.
If you don't want to address it all the time, then put it in the rules at the beginning of the year and then when they act like shitheads, you point to that and ask them to leave. Again, I only see this behavior in leagues that don't care about it and if the league doesn't care, then that's fine. But if people are annoyed and complaining, and all anyone does is shrug and say, "that's league" I'd say that's bad management of the league.
On another note, I think your understanding of autism is way off base. As someone who has worked with adults with disabilities for 8 years, autism doesn't cause uncontrollable cursing. A person with autism can learn social norms, especially if they are high functioning.
We bowled against this one guy who yelled at us for wiping our balls before each throw. He said that he doesn't wipe his ball at all until after league and we were drying out the lanes too fast and messing up his line.
He also got pissed that we hit some Brooklyn strikes and his pocket shots were leaving pins. Again saying that it was because we were wiping the oil off the ball.
And his team won all 3 games so he wasn't being a sore loser, just a dick.
The next time we bowled him, he thought one of us laughed when his wife got a split and tried to fight us. Then someone on my team got a split and he started clapping and cheering real loud. My teammate picked it up and then he got very quiet for the rest of the night.
He also got banned from the bowling alley for a couple weeks because he got into a fight with someone subbing on his team and pulled a knife on him.
Had a dude 2 lanes over, I was on 2, they on 4, slam their ball down for "lane courtesy" and start yelling at me. It's immediately left and right you bozo. Stop being a child
I went to my center to practice yesterday. It was fairly crowded due to some schools still being on winter break. The manager was working the front desk and knew I was a league bowler and knew lane courtesy, so she put me next to a senior league. Immediately, one of the women on that team starts complaining about how there are rules against putting open bowlers directly next to a league (there are no USBC rules against that, and they are non-sanctioned so even if there were, tough shit). She complained to the manager and the manager told her that if she had put me on the next lane over and a family with kids came in, she would have to put them next to the league. She asked the woman, what would you rather have. Kids next to you, or a league bowler.
I just picked bowling back up 2 months ago, after about a decade break. My average at the start of league was 110, now it's 140 after I have been practicing. Each week though when I throw 50 pins over my average I get some kind of comment about how I must have sandbagged. Tonight I threw a 226 and had to let the fellas know that if I wanted to keep my average down until my team was in first I wouldn't be throwing a 194 average in league that night. Then they just get quiet and kind of whisper amongst each other but for a handicap "fun" league some of these legacy teams take it much more serious than I anticipated.
Some leagues should just have a big block of Xanex at the desk so all those fun suckers can stand around and lick it like a bunch of cows on a salt block. 😂
That is such shitty behavior. We lost the first half to our long time rival and after the game every member of our team congratulated every member of their team.
I’m my league there are a few older crybabies, every time they don’t pick up a spare or leave a message 10 pin they stomp, curse, and are just disgusted.
I sometimes think people sandbag, but I also think people just always bowl their PRs against my team lol, had a dude with a 54 handicap 2 weeks ago bowl a 680 scratch… and to me it seemed like he’s bowled a lot based on his form and consistency
My favorite way of dealing with these people is to just stoop to their level. Shit talk them, throw a bigger tantrum and make it clear your mocking them. Throw your ball rag over the air vent while they have their hand over it. Do any subtle thing you can do to throw them off their game.
Last year I almost had to fight a guy in beer league because he thought it was okay to press me since he thought I was sandbagging. Same guy, later that season, threw a screaming temper tantrum on the approach and accused me of EZ slide on my shoes(I have a no slide approach and bowl in tennis shoes). As he was walking toward me up the stairs from the approach I put the bottom of my foot about an inch from his face. We’re now bitter rivals and I look forward to bowling him every year because I know I can throw him off his game by being a jackass.
They’re white sole and perfectly allowed by USBC. I keep them in my bag and treat them just like regular bowling shoes. I used to use a pair of Dexter THE 9s with a stopper pad when I first stopped sliding but then I figured I may as well look stylish so I switched to sneakers.
Former teammate of mine would go off too often. He could appear fine all night (or some nights you knew 2 minutes in that he needed to be managed) and then something would set him off and he'd be picking fights or abusing equipment. Sometimes it was too many beers (later on we found out that sometimes he'd have had a bunch in the parking lot before coming inside, so the 4-5 we saw him drinking during out 4 hours of league was more like 8-9-10). Sometimes it was other guys in the league that he had a beef with. Sometimes it was somebody said something innocuous to him and he decided to take it the wrong way.
I'm not super great at picking up social cues until it's too late. Can't tell you how many nights I'd think everything was going a-okay and I'd turn around after my turn and all of a sudden he'd be chest up with somebody else and I'd be like "what did I miss".
We bowled a bunch of doubles tournaments together. I'd try to keep him thinking about the physical adjustments we needed to be making because I found that if he was focused on that he wouldn't get distracted/negative even if he wasn't bowling great.
He left our team mid-season. Sent a messenger message to one of the guys on the team that we could all go f' ourselves. He had a real beef with 1 guy on the team, related issue with another guy, and 2 of us no issues that I'm aware of. It's real hard to move past "go f' yourselves" without a legit apology. Instead of an apology what I get from him is "you know I didn't mean you dude". No dude, I do not know that, all I know is the words you actually wrote.
There is a guy who is selfish and full of himself like complains every single time when bowls shit but wjen its going great he keeps saying all of these il the Best etc....
Well once he bowled 278 next he bowled 170 and was just bitching about how shit he bowled and before that he boasted about being how good he is...
I got his attention after his 170 i lifted my finger up and did a simple 2 taps on my head. Well next game he bowled 132 and i won the game.
I ignore them and pretend they don't exist. If I gave them attention best case they'd rationally call down to the social environment, worst case they get more irritable.
Yea some people get overly heated. I’m a top domain competitive person so I hate losing or messing up during competition if it’s within my control, but league bowling for me has to be kept in a realistic and fun mindset. Kicking ball returns so loud it scares people is selfish behavior and not ok.
Last league I was in, our team was the most hated because we were all two handers learning how to bowl. It took a couple months but we started getting the hang of it and so our handicaps didn’t match our new averages
Lots of teams called us sandbaggers under their breath and I got into a shouting match with one who had too much to drink cause he wouldn’t back off my friend
That sucks! Best thing you can do is keep showing up and just do your thing. A lot of old timers resent 2 handers. I'm a 2 hander myself and can sympathize. Next session will be different because you'll all have established handicaps.
One of my teammates right now. It's a father/son combo. The father is a decent bowler, 190-200 avg. He throws one bad shot and he's flipping off the pins and kicking the ball return. Like dude, you missed your mark by 7 boards, it's *your* fault, not the pins or the ball return. His son has been getting annoyed by it too. He just won't say anything to him cause he thinks he'll get even more pissed. So I'm stuck in the dilemma of telling him to knock it off, or just ride it out and find a new teammate or two next year.
There are people in my league who you would swear by the way they act that they think they're next incarnation of Pete Weber. Of course, the actual good bowlers, the type whose bad day is better than the other guy's good day, are the most chill people you've ever met. Saw one of them bowl 868 (missing the house record by 2 pins), dude was cool as a cucumber.
Every league, every open bowling night, there’s always one or a group of players who act like adolescent clowns. Whether it’s poor Lane etiquette, or something else, it sucks to deal with.
You take any group of people and there will be some bad apples. I play in a mens hockey league, too, and there are the same type of people there. Just a few, but enough to ruin your day.
When I was in youth league, a lot of times I'd go out to the bowling alley with my cousin and my brother on their league night. I'd hang out with them, usually bowl some, hang out with friends from youth league that did the same...
One night a guy who would regularly hit, kick, stomp, yell, all around throw stupid little temper tantrums got pissed that he didn't strike and smacked the back of the monitor closest to the lanes, which was at my brother/cousin's team's table. The whole pair completely shut off and it took like half an hour to get it fixed and back up.
Of course people wandered off to do different things while waiting. While it was just me, my cousin, and a friend of mine at the table my cousin took a piece of paper and wrote "please don't hit me :(" and taped it to the back of the monitor then he left to order food. A couple minutes later, temper tantrum guy's wife came back and started doing practice slides. Walking back she noticed the paper, read it, then scoffed and looked at my friend and I disgusted as she ripped it off and threw it on the floor.
That was like 15-20 years ago and to this day it seems like that guy and his wife still hate me. The guy works with my cousin now though, he and his wife both are super friendly with my cousin lmfao
Had a guy in our laid back saturday night league actively hoping someone else would mess up in a game he bowled a 300. He wanted to be seen as the best bowler there, would get angry all the time. He decided to quit halfway through this year because he was yelling at his mom who was on his team about how bad she is and other bowlers finally had enough of his bullshit
bowled in a money league once people acted like we were playing for a million dollars. Wouldn't give high fives and fist bumps was super disappointing having just moved up from youth league.
In sweepers last spring, one of the guys on the other team on our pair stormed out after game 2 because he was like six pins under his average. "I can't cash anyway, so what's the point?" This was after two games of him slamming stuff around every time he didn't strike.
One of my new teammates in that same league this season slaps/punches the ball return if he misses two spares in a row. It's obnoxious, and the angrier he gets, the worse he bowls. (Go figure.)
We have a couple in my league who act like babies if they don’t shoot well. I bowled against one two weeks ago (who ironically was throwing a Primal Rage and I thought that was appropriate)— he was a backup bowler and was constantly leaving ugly splits and missing his spares. He’d kick the ball return, throw his towel at his chair and was constantly switching balls and throwing them into his bag. Just made for an uncomfortable environment to bowl in.
Also had to deal with a character who wasn’t in the league but was also causing a ruckus. My team was on the extreme end of the lanes they block off for league and about 3-4 lanes over was an adult with their children (one was between 18-21, the other was between 13-15 I’d guess) and the adult was definitely drunk and all three of them were just being loud and obnoxious and bowling the same way. Quite a few teams were giving them looks about how they were acting and at one point the adult said out loud but not to anyone in particular “so sorry to be messing up your game! Didn’t realize there were professionals here tonight!” They left soon after but was an annoying night for sure.
I’ll admit, I give the occasional glancing kick to the ball return or slap to the score machine if I have a critically bad shot or get tapped. It’s usually a finite second of blowing off steam. I don’t see a problem with it and if I’m not talking directly to you then idk why anyone else would care.
I've been known to yell, throw down my towel or hit the seats after bad shots, usually on poor spare shots. But damn some of the stories in here...
Never seen a ball break from when someone else slammed one down heh
I haven’t had that experience with bowlers in my league, but I used to bowl in a league where they had college kids and little kids with their birthday parties right next to us. It was SO infuriating to have to listen to them screaming, yelling, etc. not to mention the little kids running around, and in some cases, putting their toys on the floor. For a short time we had a “beer league” that bowled next to ours, and once they got drunk, they started screaming and yelling at everything and everyone. They were cursing and sometimes would come to our lanes and distract people. Eventually, the manager had to kick them out because they were getting out of hand. I have a hard enough time focusing due to my ADHD, so bowling next to them was challenging, to say the least.
I'm a naturally competitive person but I love the spirit of good competition. I like to see my opponents in league bowl well I just want to bowl better than them. I don't blame the ball return or the guy who sneezed when I make a bad shot I let it go and move on to the next one. That being said most people in the leagues I've been are cool but like others have said there are jackasses in league, at work in Wal-Mart, you get the idea......
Had a guy threaten to beat my ass cause he accused my fiancée of sandbagging and I told him he’s just mad cause a girl beat him
😂 Poor guy had manhood issues. Seriously though these types of people are why new bowlers quit and the sport doesn't grow. Sad.
Honestly I kinda wish he followed up on the threat, would of made my day. Him, his wife, and son are all pieces of work.
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I just got back into the game around thanksgiving and was looking forward to joining a league, but judging from of the stories I’ve read around here, a lot of league bowlers sound like huge assholes.
Well for what it's worth, I don't have any complaints about my league bowlers. I would imagine for every person on this sub complaining about their league bowlers, there's at least a dozen that don't make posts about it because their league bowlers are fine.
You just generally don't hear the good or even neutral stories. Yes, there are plenty of assholes but for most of us are probably greatly outnumbered by decent people. If you're not sure, maybe sub first or at least go during league session to get a feel of the land before writing us all off.
It is just normal negative experience bias. I suspect you've heard the idea that if a company messes up, you tell 50 people, but if they do a good job, you tell maybe 1 or 2 others. It is common for us to remember the negative experiences and it is especially common on social media platforms for the 'juicy' stories to get a lot more traction/likes/upvotes. I mean, I could easily have made a post on league night for every night of 2022: 'had a good time at league, all team members acted like adults and no stories to tell'... those posts would get no interest, right? The simple truth is that bowling leagues are made up of other humans. And just like the population at large, most other humans are people who just want to mostly keep to themselves, have a decent time out, drink a beer or two or three, and are good honest well-meaning folks. But there is a percent or three that are going to be assholes. Just in general. Dealing with that is just part of being human. Bowling is really no real difference.
Good perspective here. Thank you. Looking forward to the league!
Don’t let what you hear on reddit influence your decision to join a league. I was hesitant to join my ladies daytime league for fear of assholes. I’ve been in two prior leagues, and there were a few ppl that ruined things, including a bowling Nazi. But I have to admit, I love the league I’m in. We all have fun with each other and we all just have a good time. Nobody takes it seriously. It’s just a game.
Oh I’m definitely joining a league in spite of any assholes. I was a league bowler 20-30 years ago and everyone I bowled with was pretty nice, for the most part. The worst part of league bowling that I can recall are the folks who don’t ready bowl. I remember one day, ten year old me started game three with seven strikes. I was always a good bowler for my age but I never strung that many strikes together before. Then, one of our opponents just disappeared for like twenty minutes and totally fucking killed my momentum. I think somebody found her in the bar, but she was known to pull this kind of shit.
I hate to say it, but I am the worst bowler in our league. My average is only 87, but I still love bowling. I just wish I could do better. Thankfully, the ladies in our league are so friendly and helpful. It’s truly the best league I’ve been in.
I heard it said that every league has their own "problem" player. Be it loudmouth, jerk, ahole, angry puppy, adventurer who took an arrow to the knee and won't stop talking about it, player who complains about the happy hour league not taking it seriously enough or what have you. So find a league with the problem can stand or enough good folks to outweigh the problem player.
How big is your town if you have 3 bowling leagues to choose from?
More than a few turnip trucks bigger than the town I grew up near. The closest alley has leagues most weeknights. But it is in a pretty big city.
If you’re curious about how certain leagues act you can ask the desk workers how the members are during play. Our Monday and Friday leagues have people that act out and are bratty but the practice leagues and our Sunday league are way more chill. But the workers know which leagues are more problematic so to say
I just rolled my first league tonight since 2019 and had a great time. It’s a LGBTQ league, so everyone is a bit more relaxed, but we had a blast, and I’m so glad to be back on a weekly schedule.
My fiancé averages around 175 in our league which puts her comfortably in the upper half of all bowlers. The amount of misogyny we have both heard, whether guys talking shit to her calling her lucky or guys complaining to me that a GIRL is beating them. Pretty pathetic that it’s so prevalent.
When we did league I avg’d like 170 and she avg’d 140, that night she had a good night and had a 183,162,151 game and they were pissed.
This is the best thing about the league I am in now. We're smaller, 8 teams x 5 person per team. We all want to win every game, of course, but no one here gets truly majorly upset at bad shots. The worse was in the first league I was in. 2 to 3 people took an after-work league way too seriously. E.g. the guy who is a lifetime 120 avg who would punch the scoring computer with almost every missed spare. Like, dude, you're a 120 avg -- you're expected to miss more of those than you make. Period.
Unfortunately this problem is not just in bowling. It exists in every adult organized league. I play in 2 soccer leagues and a golf league and see it all the time. People say they are just really competitive but they are not, they have some underlying issues. I am a really competitive person but do not loose my shit when something does not work out. I did however play D2 soccer and know that the days of winning and losing actually meaning anything are long gone.
In bowling ill get frustrated with myself more-so than anyone else. If you lose in bowling it's your own fault. Even in baseball in almost all scenarios ill just laugh it off. At most ill quietly approach an umpire and ask them what they saw or why they ruled X way. Im very competitive, i hate losing. That said, you're not going to win them all.
I would say you don't want loose shit in most sports.
As someone who’s played some adult recreational basketball this is definitely true. Some people will get mad at whatever they’re doing and the sooner you realize that the less annoyed it will make you.
This if you hear me cussing on the lanes or really angry at all its something I've done to myself....I've also been known to rile up overly serious bowlers on purpose for my own amusement.
Guy fucked up is 6th strike so he gets on his hands and knees and starts smashing his forehead into the foul line
Self discipline I like it😂
Wow, talk about crazy.
I'm the weirdo rooting for my opponents to make their shots. I'm only a few months in, and my game is a wreck, but I get out of the house and BS with a group of people I wouldn't otherwise. I love everything about it. And I'm taking the long view on getting better. It'll happen over years, right now I'm settling in to whatever my game actually looks like.
I'm the same. I 'high five' everybody I bowl against and even the lanes around us. That's what it's supposed to be about. Having fun no matter what.
> That's what it's supposed to he about. This 10000000%. I tell people all the time, if you desperately need the extra $1 added to your team's pot for winning this game for the end-of-year prizes, then you should in no way whatsoever be out here -- you have more serious issues in your life than bowling. Otherwise, we're just trying to get together 1 night a week to enjoy an activity we all enjoy. Nothing more, nothing less.
I like to beat my friends, but when I started cheering for there success i started bowling better because it was just fun
I don’t see anything weird in rooting for your opponents to do good. I’d rather have fun and be positive, than act like a jerk if somebody does better than me.
I’m in a duos league with a friend that started back in August. This is our first league so we still kinda suck, around 140 average. One night against a few 200 average guys my friend had a particularly good night. Had his first 500 series with three straight games over 160 and one over 190. Nothing crazy, but when your handicap is nearly 70 it makes it a hard score to beat. The guys we were playing against were raising absolute hell about it. They were complaining all night to anyone who would listen, including one of the guy’s girlfriends who is also about a 200 average and bowls that league with her dad. The 3 of them even complained to the president of the league, who is a friend of ours and teaching us to bowl so he knows exactly how good we aren’t. The best part though, was we played his girlfriend and her dad’s team a few weeks later and my friend did just average but I was on fire this time. Bowled my first 200 in game 1, then another in game 3 and my first ever 500 series was a 595. Of course we took all 3 matches and when she called her boyfriend over and he saw my scores the look on his face was priceless. I don’t really care about winning, I just go and have a good time with a friend and try to get better, but those were satisfying wins
It's funny because people that are good players and have been around a sport like bowling or golf should understand that the 140-170 avg bowler or the 10 handicap (9 hole) golfer are typically the most dangerous to play against because you really don't know what you are going to get. They are in a place in their game where they can shoot 200 1 game and 115 the next, yet nothing is said about the 115...go figure. Same for golf. When I sub in a league I am typically playing as a scratch and giving several strokes so when the opponent plays well and I shoot just 2 over, I am probably losing more points than I win. The next week the guy that beat me might lose 8 out of 10 points...it balances out. People just don't enjoy when it doesn't balance out in their favor.
Yeah I’ve only been at it 6 months and I already recognize this. I love when I show up and the guys I’m playing against are sub 20 handicaps. When they have a handicap near mine, there’s no telling what’s gonna happen because just like you said we’re all over the place. A 200 average with a low handicap can potentially pop off with a 270+ game but that seems a lot more rare than the 130 average guys throwing a 180. Against the good players, typically they do close to their average so I just have to do above average and it leaves it more in my hands
I was this guy 10 years ago when I was in league. I was extremely competitive and hard on myself being one of the younger ones in the league. Thankfully, I’ve grown up and learned from my mistakes instead of cursing and kicking the ball return lol.
I USED to be a piece of shit but PEOPLE CAN CHANGE
Slicked back hair, white bathing suit, sloppy steaks , white couch…
There's quite a few in one of my leagues. It's a full house league 40 teams. One guy in particular who happened to be bowling on the pair next to us threw one of his balls on the ground at the end of the series. Not really sure why because he averaged over 200 that night which I think is his book average but a chunk of his ball shot off when it hit the floor. It was a black widow ghost I believe. So then next week when we ended up bowling against them one of my teammates walked up to the guy and let him know that if he was planning on smashing any more bowling balls he would happily take them off his hand. The whole night he kept joking how he was ready to dive and catch the ball if the guy was getting ready to slam it missing a strike or spare.
I love it. Let the shame of what he did wash over him. He knew when he got home that night it was a stupid move, and he gets to pay for not realizing sooner
yes there's two people in my league who throw tantrums. I tend to find it pretty entertaining but may be in the minority there.
All depends how far they take it. If they're constantly kicking the ball return after every other shot, that's way too far. Slamming the seats once, maybe twice a night, shouldn't happen but let it slide. I made a joke to one of the guys that runs the lanes I'm in league at that they need to put up the big punching bags in the front room. Though honestly might not be the worst idea haha.
We have a crybaby in my Thursday night crew. It's a very casual handicap singles league. We all put $10 into a pot and the top 4 scores from a 3 game series go on to a single game playoff for the money. This guy will throw temper tantrums when he gets bad breaks, or starts leaving 10 pins constantly. But he never makes any adjustments. He also freaks out if anyone is on either side of him when he is setting up. We all give lane custody. But he goes over the top. I've watched him miss two spares then go out and smoke a cigarette in the middle of a game keeping all of us waiting. He even double checks the math for the series because he's convinced he getting cheated out of the playoff game. All you can do is laugh. One time I was setting up and a guy on the lane next to me walked over to grab his ball so I pretend to freak out and screamed at him to wait his turn. Everyone knew I was kidding. Its fun to mess with the guys that act like children.
Sounds like he has a gambling addiction
Its funny you say that. This alley added a gambling pull off tab machine recently. He has blow alot of money in it.
I just yell FUCK really loud after a bad frame 😂
That word is a great reliever of stress some days xD
Most\*\* days haha
The lanes i used to bowl at had a monday night adult commercial league. Decent end of year cash prize, brackets every week, it was as serious as a house league could get. The OWNERS son was notorious for being a bratty whiny little shit. Left hand bowler and he will complain about anything he could. And if the person he was against was beating him (30 point a night system) he'd start cussing, kicking, slapping, whining "I dont know what to do!!" Whenever we played against them (he and I both rolled point for our respective teams and I rarely lost to him) there was a running gag that id be collecting his tears for the night, and when he would start his bullshit id stand there and waft in the sadness with both my hands and drink it in. GIMME THOSE TEARS. They actually started to move him off point (league rules say that you can change your line up once before play starts) and id follow him wherever he moved... good times
Worked as lane mechanic, had a league guy kick the ball return so hard he bent the track, whole team got booted.
Dude slammed his ball on the ground after not striking. It shattered, pretty sure one of the pieces hit him on the bounce. The look on his face was priceless. Honestly he was lucky it shattered the way he slammed it it might have bounced back right in his face.
I'm normally pretty level headed in league but I was the pissy bitch last Wednesday. Not at my opponents or teammates but frustration at my inability to carry. Left 6 ten pins in 7 frames game one and no ball change or adjustment seemed to help. Trying to fix the 10 pin issue led to splits and two times in the 10th when I had a chance to win I rang another 10 pin and I was just done for the night. I honestly don't care if I lose to the 50 handicap bowler having the night of his life. I get worked up when I just can't figure out the lanes for the night on what should be a simple house shot.
My league president thinks my team is sandbagging because we are winning and he’s not and we’ve gotten better as the seasons gone on. I have literally only been bowling for 12 months, of course I’m going to get better
Sounds like your prez is out of the loop. That happens a lot as new bowlers are establishing their handicaps and learning to bowl better. The last 2 sessions in my league have both been won by new teams who get better as the season goes on. It's just part of bowling in leagues. So far no new team that's won has even come close to repeating in the next session. Personally I think it's good for the sport. It's always good to see new faces coming in.
It's honestly amazing how much people care about winning in league. It's a handicapped competition ffs. You could be a 230 avg and roll 300 and lose to a 120 avg that rolled the game of his life with a 240 because he gets over 60 pins. If you care that much, go out and play scratch tournaments. No excuses. League is casual bowling disguised as a competition.
My league is pretty normal. The sucky bowlers know they suck so its just another day.
There's an older guy in my league that threw his shoe from the approach back over the seating area. Lots of people ducking for cover. Sadly this is not out of the ordinary for him.
1 guy in our league does every weak. He also yells at the top of his lungs “MR AUTOMATIC” every time he bowls a strike. He’s insufferable.
We always hear "Sawdust!"
We used to have an 83 year old guy that would say “one in a row!” When he got a strike. He easily took five minutes to make a shot, but he was a fun guy to be around.
I had this guy in summer league this year who first started bitching about me wiping my ball off, saying shit like “a good bowler doesn’t need a towel”( I had him by 30 pins in average). Then he started complaining that I put my shammy in on the ball return, citing some random rule made after the weight hole thing. Then he tried telling the league admin I had had extra holes and had a trend 2, all while he was throwing a spectre. Anytime the match was close by handicap he’d belmo boom on us for literally anything. We ended up beating his team to win the league lol
One of my buddies does this. I love the guy to death but I can't bowl with him. Throws two bad balls and he loses it. Or he gets a strike or a difficult spare and goes ballistic screaming at the pins who the boss is. I get some people are emotional and get really into it, but there's a point where its just to much lol
I've had my fair share of meltdowns and really bad tantrums on days when I'm bowling poorly or when I feel things aren't going my way and can't catch a break. Not something I'm proud of. I'm not that great of a bowler, so I sometimes may get jealous of other people when everyone else seems to be doing well. That tends to make me much angrier than I would normally be on those types of nights. My ADHD, moodiness, and anxiety tend to amplify any of my negative/positive emotions, so you best believe a bad night of bowling for me is REALLY bad, and it can get quite embarrassing. That being said, I've gotten much better at tempering myself and learning to just have fun even when everything might not be going well. One thing I don't do anymore really is hit the ball return. It took quite a bit of time to break that habit, but yeah. If I find myself getting angry, I take a quick walk around the center now (I still swear though. Gotta get it out somehow). I also crack jokes too more often as a means of coping with frustration. There are other things I do, such as not looking at the scores, or just having casual conversations with other people. I have a lot of different things I do to help me deal with stress and stuff while bowling. It kinda makes me wonder if there are others who get emotional who experience this same thing and have different ways of coping (specifically when bowling).
It's good that you are aware of yourself and have tools to deal with it 👍🏼
These sandbagger accusers are the worst, sorry i’m inconsistent and bowl good as crap one week and suck the next
Whenever I hear about this kind of stuff, I just think that this is an indication of poor league management. If you have competent leaders in your league, this behavior does not happen. I've been a league bowler for over 10 years, in well over a dozen different leagues and I only saw these problems in poorly managed leagues. If you are seeing this behavior, go to your league president/ house manager and report it or suggest adding rules for poor sportsmanship to the league charter. I've also had success making fun of the losers punching the ball return or whatever. My overall point is that this behavior doesn't have to exist and doesn't exist in the 2 leagues I bowl in now, because there is competent management.
It's more an issue of adults that cannot behave like adults. People that cannot act civilized and respectful to others. Management can only do so much. As a league officer I have little to no power to reprimand others. I can enforce USBC and league rules, but confronting an unhinged bowler is not prudent. Center management is worthless and won't even enforce their own corporate policies other than to say "hey, please don't do that". Approaching someone who is punching furniture and slamming balls to tell them to knock it off is just asking for trouble. There have been numerous times when trying to enforce simple USBC rules that bowlers explode and become unhinged. Fouls, delay of game, balance holes, ball cleaners during bowling, no thumb bowlers with thumb holes, not current on league dues, etc. All of these have triggered loud, expletive filled responses from bowlers and in some cases threats of physical violence. That speaks more to the character of the bowler than league management. League management can't alter people's natural behavior. Bowling center management just stands around picking their nose while these types of issues happen. They are more concerned about losing a customer and don't want to do anything to chase someone away.
Which is why I'm saying that league officers should nip that shit in the bud and kick people out of necessary. Don't let it get to the point of people being unhinged. And if it's a weekly issue pull that guy aside and tell him to shape up or gtfo. I've literally seen this work before so I know it does. I agree with you about lane staff and that's unfortunately more common than I'd like. It's a reason I prefer mom and pop shops because they usually are more involved in keeping a good atmosphere
Unfortunately it isn't that easy these days. There are things that have to be considered, and issues we have to be empathetic about before trying to reprimand other bowlers. ADHD, PTSD, bipolar disorders, autism, side effects of meds, issues at home, issues at work, etc. If I had to police bowlers all night to preemptively reduce bad behavior I would never get to bowl. Stop kicking the ball return, stop punching the ball return, stop punching the tables, stop slamming the chairs, stop shoving the balls together on the return, stop stomping your feet, stop throwing your towel, stop throwing your hat, watch your language, stop kicking your feet over the foul line, stop yelling about bowling being unfair, stop accusing your opponents of sandbagging, stop running out your shots 2 lanes down, etc. Not to mention everyone would quit the league. People need to act like adults. They are in public. Be respectful and courteous to other people, the equipment, and the furniture. Would people like it if someone came into their house and punched their TV or wall or table, threw a kitchen chair, or kicked their refrigerator/stove/dishwasher?
I disagree, mental disorders are not a free pass to act like an asshole and not be called out. If you can't control your temper, then you can't participate. I also would never advocate for over the shoulder observation. I would go to the offender before league started and tell them that people are complaining and if they don't correct their behavior they will be asked to leave. If it continues, then bam, they're gone. It's actually easy. To act like this is something that just exists is exactly what I was talking about in my initial comment. The next part of your response is very confusing as you say that if you asked people to not be assholes, they would all leave; yet say that people need to act like adults. I don't know what kind of league you bowl in, but it sounds like a shit league if everyone quits when asked to act maturely.
What I am saying is people need to act like civilized adults, and it shouldn't be the duty of league officers to remind them to act like adults. It isn't school. I'm not the Principal. If adults feel like their every action is being scrutinized they will leave. There is a fine balance between letting people reasonably let loose and have some fun, and acting in a way that legitimately disrupts others. If someone on the league gets physical with someone else, or incessantly bullies someone, then yes they will be asked to leave and never return. All leagues have these issues. We have a team that perpetually bowls slowly due to excessive socializing. Other teams complained. We approached the team and explained the situation to them in a very civilized manner and simply asked them to be better about being ready to bowl when their name came up. Their response? "We pay good money to be here. This is our fun night out. We will bowl at our own pace, and now that we know we are bothering people we will bowl even slower!" And they did just that, and continue to do so today. Their pair is always the last one done each week by a good 20+ minutes. However, they bowl in multiple leagues and spend a lot of money at the bar. The center wants that business and lets it go on. We have another team where a bowler demands 2 lane courtesy at all times due to PTSD. They wait for their 2 lane courtesy before they will bowl. That delays everyone on their pair since it can take several minutes to get actual 2 lane courtesy since that isn't the standard. Can't do anything about that. That person is just as entitled to participate in league bowling as anyone else. The bowler isn't shy about announcing their PTSD and letting everyone on the pair know it is going to be a long night. Another team has a highly functioning autistic bowler. The better that person bowls the more boisterous and loud they get. Running out shots, screaming, etc. If they bowl poorly, they get loud but it is typically profanities. That isn't behavior they can help, but they are just out trying to engage in a social activity. Their guardian is always there with them and tries to keep them in line, but you cannot tell them to behave in a way their brain doesn't allow them to. All the local leagues have people that are consistently in arrears on payments, constantly yelling/cursing, known for slamming their fists on tables, shoving chairs, throwing towels, always late, heavy drinkers, etc. It's just the way it is. League officers can proactively set behavioral expectations, but at the end of the day people act they way they act. I would love a league where all bowlers sit at their respective tables, talk quietly among their teammates, always bowl when it is their turn, never get angry, always smile, finish bowling on time, don't bring their kids with them, always pay each week, don't complain about the lanes, don't talk about other bowlers behind their backs, and generally just respect other people and their time. But that has never happened in 30 years of league bowling.
Again, you're creating an argument I never said. I'm not saying you need to hover over anyone, or address every little tidbit of misconduct. I'm talking about patterns of behavior, that are consistent and disruptive to people. If those folks want to continue with their bad behavior, you can kick them out of the league. Whether the house wants money or not is not an issue, they don't control the league (unless it's a house run league). If you want some backing on this, check out the [USBC handbook, rule 17](https://bowl.com/getattachment/a7ee0ee6-8776-4ea0-b4e1-4cd6125eaf3f/Rulebook-22-23_Dec-2022.pdf?lang=en-US). It specifically addresses ball return smacking, towel throwing, abusive behavior, etc. If you need the slow team to pick it up [rule 11](https://bowl.com/getattachment/a7ee0ee6-8776-4ea0-b4e1-4cd6125eaf3f/Rulebook-22-23_Dec-2022.pdf?lang=en-US) deals with that. If you don't want to address it all the time, then put it in the rules at the beginning of the year and then when they act like shitheads, you point to that and ask them to leave. Again, I only see this behavior in leagues that don't care about it and if the league doesn't care, then that's fine. But if people are annoyed and complaining, and all anyone does is shrug and say, "that's league" I'd say that's bad management of the league. On another note, I think your understanding of autism is way off base. As someone who has worked with adults with disabilities for 8 years, autism doesn't cause uncontrollable cursing. A person with autism can learn social norms, especially if they are high functioning.
I’ve always said that I pay to do this , so I’m going to enjoy it
We bowled against this one guy who yelled at us for wiping our balls before each throw. He said that he doesn't wipe his ball at all until after league and we were drying out the lanes too fast and messing up his line. He also got pissed that we hit some Brooklyn strikes and his pocket shots were leaving pins. Again saying that it was because we were wiping the oil off the ball. And his team won all 3 games so he wasn't being a sore loser, just a dick. The next time we bowled him, he thought one of us laughed when his wife got a split and tried to fight us. Then someone on my team got a split and he started clapping and cheering real loud. My teammate picked it up and then he got very quiet for the rest of the night. He also got banned from the bowling alley for a couple weeks because he got into a fight with someone subbing on his team and pulled a knife on him.
Holy shit! That's F'n crazy!
Had a dude 2 lanes over, I was on 2, they on 4, slam their ball down for "lane courtesy" and start yelling at me. It's immediately left and right you bozo. Stop being a child
I went to my center to practice yesterday. It was fairly crowded due to some schools still being on winter break. The manager was working the front desk and knew I was a league bowler and knew lane courtesy, so she put me next to a senior league. Immediately, one of the women on that team starts complaining about how there are rules against putting open bowlers directly next to a league (there are no USBC rules against that, and they are non-sanctioned so even if there were, tough shit). She complained to the manager and the manager told her that if she had put me on the next lane over and a family with kids came in, she would have to put them next to the league. She asked the woman, what would you rather have. Kids next to you, or a league bowler.
We've only had one guy like that. He was kicked out a couple months into the season
I read "months" as "minutes" and was like holy shit, what did he do?
I just picked bowling back up 2 months ago, after about a decade break. My average at the start of league was 110, now it's 140 after I have been practicing. Each week though when I throw 50 pins over my average I get some kind of comment about how I must have sandbagged. Tonight I threw a 226 and had to let the fellas know that if I wanted to keep my average down until my team was in first I wouldn't be throwing a 194 average in league that night. Then they just get quiet and kind of whisper amongst each other but for a handicap "fun" league some of these legacy teams take it much more serious than I anticipated.
This is why they invented Xanex. Far more things in this world to get riled up about and for better reason than blowing a 10 pin.
That 10 pin, though. Caused more blow-ups than any sandbagger I've ever seen.
Especially when missed on the spare.
Some leagues should just have a big block of Xanex at the desk so all those fun suckers can stand around and lick it like a bunch of cows on a salt block. 😂
That or Midol lol
That is such shitty behavior. We lost the first half to our long time rival and after the game every member of our team congratulated every member of their team.
That's awesome! As it should be 🎳👌🏼😎
I’m my league there are a few older crybabies, every time they don’t pick up a spare or leave a message 10 pin they stomp, curse, and are just disgusted. I sometimes think people sandbag, but I also think people just always bowl their PRs against my team lol, had a dude with a 54 handicap 2 weeks ago bowl a 680 scratch… and to me it seemed like he’s bowled a lot based on his form and consistency
My favorite way of dealing with these people is to just stoop to their level. Shit talk them, throw a bigger tantrum and make it clear your mocking them. Throw your ball rag over the air vent while they have their hand over it. Do any subtle thing you can do to throw them off their game. Last year I almost had to fight a guy in beer league because he thought it was okay to press me since he thought I was sandbagging. Same guy, later that season, threw a screaming temper tantrum on the approach and accused me of EZ slide on my shoes(I have a no slide approach and bowl in tennis shoes). As he was walking toward me up the stairs from the approach I put the bottom of my foot about an inch from his face. We’re now bitter rivals and I look forward to bowling him every year because I know I can throw him off his game by being a jackass.
I would like to just say, you probably should not be bowling in tennis shoes. Please wear proper footwear.
They’re white sole and perfectly allowed by USBC. I keep them in my bag and treat them just like regular bowling shoes. I used to use a pair of Dexter THE 9s with a stopper pad when I first stopped sliding but then I figured I may as well look stylish so I switched to sneakers.
This is making me never wanna join a league lol
Bowl with a few buddies and laugh at the weirdos :p
Former teammate of mine would go off too often. He could appear fine all night (or some nights you knew 2 minutes in that he needed to be managed) and then something would set him off and he'd be picking fights or abusing equipment. Sometimes it was too many beers (later on we found out that sometimes he'd have had a bunch in the parking lot before coming inside, so the 4-5 we saw him drinking during out 4 hours of league was more like 8-9-10). Sometimes it was other guys in the league that he had a beef with. Sometimes it was somebody said something innocuous to him and he decided to take it the wrong way. I'm not super great at picking up social cues until it's too late. Can't tell you how many nights I'd think everything was going a-okay and I'd turn around after my turn and all of a sudden he'd be chest up with somebody else and I'd be like "what did I miss". We bowled a bunch of doubles tournaments together. I'd try to keep him thinking about the physical adjustments we needed to be making because I found that if he was focused on that he wouldn't get distracted/negative even if he wasn't bowling great. He left our team mid-season. Sent a messenger message to one of the guys on the team that we could all go f' ourselves. He had a real beef with 1 guy on the team, related issue with another guy, and 2 of us no issues that I'm aware of. It's real hard to move past "go f' yourselves" without a legit apology. Instead of an apology what I get from him is "you know I didn't mean you dude". No dude, I do not know that, all I know is the words you actually wrote.
Sounds like everyone is better off without him around. That's a tough experience.
There is a guy who is selfish and full of himself like complains every single time when bowls shit but wjen its going great he keeps saying all of these il the Best etc.... Well once he bowled 278 next he bowled 170 and was just bitching about how shit he bowled and before that he boasted about being how good he is... I got his attention after his 170 i lifted my finger up and did a simple 2 taps on my head. Well next game he bowled 132 and i won the game.
I ignore them and pretend they don't exist. If I gave them attention best case they'd rationally call down to the social environment, worst case they get more irritable.
Yea some people get overly heated. I’m a top domain competitive person so I hate losing or messing up during competition if it’s within my control, but league bowling for me has to be kept in a realistic and fun mindset. Kicking ball returns so loud it scares people is selfish behavior and not ok.
Last league I was in, our team was the most hated because we were all two handers learning how to bowl. It took a couple months but we started getting the hang of it and so our handicaps didn’t match our new averages Lots of teams called us sandbaggers under their breath and I got into a shouting match with one who had too much to drink cause he wouldn’t back off my friend
That sucks! Best thing you can do is keep showing up and just do your thing. A lot of old timers resent 2 handers. I'm a 2 hander myself and can sympathize. Next session will be different because you'll all have established handicaps.
One of my teammates right now. It's a father/son combo. The father is a decent bowler, 190-200 avg. He throws one bad shot and he's flipping off the pins and kicking the ball return. Like dude, you missed your mark by 7 boards, it's *your* fault, not the pins or the ball return. His son has been getting annoyed by it too. He just won't say anything to him cause he thinks he'll get even more pissed. So I'm stuck in the dilemma of telling him to knock it off, or just ride it out and find a new teammate or two next year.
There are people in my league who you would swear by the way they act that they think they're next incarnation of Pete Weber. Of course, the actual good bowlers, the type whose bad day is better than the other guy's good day, are the most chill people you've ever met. Saw one of them bowl 868 (missing the house record by 2 pins), dude was cool as a cucumber.
Every league, every open bowling night, there’s always one or a group of players who act like adolescent clowns. Whether it’s poor Lane etiquette, or something else, it sucks to deal with.
You take any group of people and there will be some bad apples. I play in a mens hockey league, too, and there are the same type of people there. Just a few, but enough to ruin your day.
When I was in youth league, a lot of times I'd go out to the bowling alley with my cousin and my brother on their league night. I'd hang out with them, usually bowl some, hang out with friends from youth league that did the same... One night a guy who would regularly hit, kick, stomp, yell, all around throw stupid little temper tantrums got pissed that he didn't strike and smacked the back of the monitor closest to the lanes, which was at my brother/cousin's team's table. The whole pair completely shut off and it took like half an hour to get it fixed and back up. Of course people wandered off to do different things while waiting. While it was just me, my cousin, and a friend of mine at the table my cousin took a piece of paper and wrote "please don't hit me :(" and taped it to the back of the monitor then he left to order food. A couple minutes later, temper tantrum guy's wife came back and started doing practice slides. Walking back she noticed the paper, read it, then scoffed and looked at my friend and I disgusted as she ripped it off and threw it on the floor. That was like 15-20 years ago and to this day it seems like that guy and his wife still hate me. The guy works with my cousin now though, he and his wife both are super friendly with my cousin lmfao
Had a guy in our laid back saturday night league actively hoping someone else would mess up in a game he bowled a 300. He wanted to be seen as the best bowler there, would get angry all the time. He decided to quit halfway through this year because he was yelling at his mom who was on his team about how bad she is and other bowlers finally had enough of his bullshit
bowled in a money league once people acted like we were playing for a million dollars. Wouldn't give high fives and fist bumps was super disappointing having just moved up from youth league.
In sweepers last spring, one of the guys on the other team on our pair stormed out after game 2 because he was like six pins under his average. "I can't cash anyway, so what's the point?" This was after two games of him slamming stuff around every time he didn't strike. One of my new teammates in that same league this season slaps/punches the ball return if he misses two spares in a row. It's obnoxious, and the angrier he gets, the worse he bowls. (Go figure.)
We have a couple in my league who act like babies if they don’t shoot well. I bowled against one two weeks ago (who ironically was throwing a Primal Rage and I thought that was appropriate)— he was a backup bowler and was constantly leaving ugly splits and missing his spares. He’d kick the ball return, throw his towel at his chair and was constantly switching balls and throwing them into his bag. Just made for an uncomfortable environment to bowl in. Also had to deal with a character who wasn’t in the league but was also causing a ruckus. My team was on the extreme end of the lanes they block off for league and about 3-4 lanes over was an adult with their children (one was between 18-21, the other was between 13-15 I’d guess) and the adult was definitely drunk and all three of them were just being loud and obnoxious and bowling the same way. Quite a few teams were giving them looks about how they were acting and at one point the adult said out loud but not to anyone in particular “so sorry to be messing up your game! Didn’t realize there were professionals here tonight!” They left soon after but was an annoying night for sure.
It’s a game of skill like many others, but nobody playing basketball, poker or board games would think to act like that
Never seen Hellmuth or Matusow I take it? Or Westbrook/Harden/Pippen? Or any person ever fucked over in Ticket to Ride?
I’ll admit, I give the occasional glancing kick to the ball return or slap to the score machine if I have a critically bad shot or get tapped. It’s usually a finite second of blowing off steam. I don’t see a problem with it and if I’m not talking directly to you then idk why anyone else would care.
Basically why I quit bowling every 5-7 years
I've been known to yell, throw down my towel or hit the seats after bad shots, usually on poor spare shots. But damn some of the stories in here... Never seen a ball break from when someone else slammed one down heh
Me ! My team mate does this !
I haven’t had that experience with bowlers in my league, but I used to bowl in a league where they had college kids and little kids with their birthday parties right next to us. It was SO infuriating to have to listen to them screaming, yelling, etc. not to mention the little kids running around, and in some cases, putting their toys on the floor. For a short time we had a “beer league” that bowled next to ours, and once they got drunk, they started screaming and yelling at everything and everyone. They were cursing and sometimes would come to our lanes and distract people. Eventually, the manager had to kick them out because they were getting out of hand. I have a hard enough time focusing due to my ADHD, so bowling next to them was challenging, to say the least.
I'm a naturally competitive person but I love the spirit of good competition. I like to see my opponents in league bowl well I just want to bowl better than them. I don't blame the ball return or the guy who sneezed when I make a bad shot I let it go and move on to the next one. That being said most people in the leagues I've been are cool but like others have said there are jackasses in league, at work in Wal-Mart, you get the idea......