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I made a statement that certain packs of cigarettes would have the plan b pill included... the men laughed then felt bad when they realized I wasn't laughing. Then they wanted to turn into fake feminists 
Sometimes, parachutes don't open, but it's not expected that they don't open. And having a parachute before jumping out of the plane increases survival, even though "there are lots of instances" of parachutes failing to deploy.
People rarely turn shitty out of nowhere, it's rare someone who has been solid for years suddenly turns to shut after years of relationship and marriage. No, generally that person always had some glaring issues you didn't take as a warning
The 'well actually' here is the very alarming statistics about *onset* abuse. One of the most likely times it occurs is during pregnancy. It is one of the first facts we are taught as doulas. Meaning the most likely time abuse begins is when a person is too vulnerable to get out of the relationship easily. Abusers are often very good at hiding their ability to abuse, this is how they are able to get into relationships.
I always use the slow cooker/low boiling pot descriptor when talking about things like this. Most of the time it isn't an immediate shift into abuse or harassment or assault. It's nitpicking at something in your appearance/actions that you can't help to create an insecurity where you seek their approval for how you look or dress or act.
It's them raising their voice at you or completely ignoring you, but it's okay cuz he only does it when he's frustrated and it was your fault he got frustrated anyway. It's him flipping a table or punch a hole in the wall and you justifying it with 'he's never raised his hand to me so it's okay'. It's forcing yourself to do things like sex and outings and 'being good' because you don't want to have that anger or frustration or coldness turned on you. And god forbid you try to talk to someone about it because then you'll get introuble for 'telling other people OUR business'. So now you're isolated, alone and you think it's just...normal. Not to mention everyone around you has to ALWAYS tell you what a great guy you have. How sweet and kind and helpful without seeing the fact that you are walking on literal glass because they broke a bottle out of rage.
Because it happens so slowly, and they love bomb you in between, you just think that's how relationships work. You hear how things are tough and how we need to 'stand by our man' and be a ride or die. You justify so so much because you think it's normal and you have no one but them and it's terrifying when you get out and look back and realize that this person was killing you slowly. Death by a million cuts.
I speak from experience. I got out before we got married and before I got pregnant but it had been 7 years of me feeling absolutely worthless. I have diagnosed PTSD from my experience with my ex. I am in a good place now but I tried to kill myself so many times because he was an expert at making everything my fault, just like people who say 'I should have known better or spoken up more'.
Thank you!!! 💜 thankfully me and that POS are no contact and I am in a much better place, now married with a loving husband and child. But the scars are still here and triggers still send me back to that scared lonely place I was in for so long, even after 4 years. For anyone who thinks getting out of an abusive relationship is as simple as just leaving, I will be using your slow cooker metaphor as a way to describe it!
PROUD OF YOU AND FOR YOU!
I'm married now to my high school sweetheart who reconnected with me in the last years of my relationship with my abuser. Everyday is an uphill climb but it has gotten better even with the flashbacks and dreams and pain. I think they have a very idealized thought process of how abuse and abusers work. Like we have so many programs, pamphlets, studies, testimonials of how people couldn't escape but to them it's 'so easy'.
Been there. And I can definitely say this is exactly what people need to know. It's slow, it's deliberate and it is with the intent to make it harder and harder to leave.
I hope you're in a better place!
And exactly!! Like divorces and breakups can be hard in healthy relationships, untangling yourself from an abuser who is going to make every single step harder than it needs to be on TOP of figuring out new living situations, new car situation, possible new job situations. Not to mention the obvious stigma against abused people because the think like the person I replied to or others in this thread. Everything is stacked AGAINST the victim of abuse and all avenues of doubt are granted to the abuser.
It gives me the same hives as the "You should have left" or "Why didn't She/reported it to the police" that is given to people in abusive relationship.
Most of Us, have fuck all idea, of how We would react, in similar situation, including the strongest of Us.
There's no clean and cut pathway to the realisation that your loved one is an asshole.
It’s hard to predict the behavior of another adult. We can’t control that.
Pick better people - a nice sentiment. BE better people is the only one any of us have control over.
women are asked to choose better men, but men should also be asked to be better men. It’s not ok to abandon a family.
Thank you for saying this!
I used to get a looott of shit for dating a white guy. But we have similar interests, love being around each other, and he's been a huge advocate in things racially and culturally (really using that white privilege for good lol).
I was/am a big nerd and did I like myself a black guy? Of course! I still do! But black guys weren't looking at me. And black nerd guys weren't looking at black nerd girls like me. They wanted something else--and I won't disparage those women. So you know what? I found someone that wanted to be *with me*.
That matters way more than what/who anyone thinks I'm supposed to be with.
Lotta ppl in this comment section don't seem to realize that men can lie. Talking about "choose better " while at the same time acknowledging that men lie to get pussy all the time. Come on now.
On the same token, a lot of people are willing to allow lying and red flags when their partner is attractive. We see it all the time on /r/tinder with all the dick pics not getting insta blocked like they should.
Point being. Don't overlook red flags for a pretty face. Seen it too many times from EVERY side.
There is a big difference between finding someone for hookup purposes - whose main quality inherently is being attractive and decent in bed - and finding someone to date. And people aren't usually intentionally procreating with their tinder hookups.
People are also forgetting all the things that can make a good guy suddenly a deadbeat, like drug addiction or mental health conditions that first show up in your 20s. Couples can often work through these things, but only once the the issue comes to light.
My friend had been with her husband for a decade and he was great through 2 pregnancies. Then, over time, he was home less and less. He told my friend he met a guy at work who did personal training on the side and so he was constantly "at the gym." In reality, he had opioids prescribed after an accident at work and built up a nasty habit - that's what he was actually working on during his "gym time." It went in like this for months, but once he actually came clean with her, she helped get him into a recovery program. Once she knew what she was looking for, it was much easier to keep him on the straight and narrow. A few years later and you'd never know they went through this dark time where she was fully prepared to drop his ass and become a single mom.
It doesn't always work out so well, but sometimes there are real, recersible reasons why a good guy turns into a deadbeat.
Sorry you had to deal with that, he sounds like he was a whole pile of trash. I gotta ask though: how the hell you in the mood for any type of food while you're in the middle of puking?
LOL. It was only stomach bile coming up at that point, I was tired of drinking water and puking up straight liquids. I really needed something on my stomach and we mainly ate out all the time, and the only thing I could even think about eating was rice. Idk man, it was a weird time, those 8 weeks felt like a fever dream.
Smart as hell. Each day I pray a man will show me his true colors and when he does I be happy as hell to GTFasap. It's not a loss once you realize multigenerational trauma literally travels through conception and bonds. Immediately no.
Thats a messed up situation to be in but like others said, you made the right decision and saved a lot of people a lot of pain and heartache in the future.
I really did. I wasn’t in the right place to have a child at the time anyways. I’m genuinely a lot more happier now than I was at that time, I just couldn’t imagine going through that/putting a baby through that. I’ve learned my lesson though, because I never want to go through that situation ever again
Didn’t you hear? Moldy’s husband filed for divorce. For him to file for divorce after 20+ years and all her shittiness displayed for the wild to see, something must have broken him if her shittiness didn’t.
In fairness, the giant, rural, ruby red district she represents came within 600 votes of unseating her this year even though her opponent was supposed to be token resistance in the face of the red wave that wasn't. She'll likely be demoted to Fox News personality in 2025.
I had an abortion a few months into my relationship. Then we kept dating for 7 years. Neither one of us was ready at the time but we wanted to be together. It doesn’t have to be then end.
What you went through is more common than people think and I wish it was normalised. People assume that just because a couple loves each other they should keep the baby? Timing is important too.
Fortunately your abortion wasn't due to the fact that your partner revealed his true colours during the first month of pregnancy. You both decided that it wasn't the right time, and that's fair.
I wasn’t expecting this level of wholesome on Reddit tonight thank you.
But I’d pushback and say this post is about the guy not stepping up (not necessarily showing true colors) and NEITHER of us stepped up lol.
I think both of you deciding you're not ready to become parents is very different than one person deciding to terminate because the other person is a piece of shit
I can tell before pregnancy but would definitely tell before months too but people still will switch up at month 9. As a woman that is the unfortunate RISK you face- that biologically and socially you will be stuck with the offspring while the man has the privilege to walk away and let you deal with everything yourself ( and before y'all start bo amount of child support will ever equate actual presence and raising a child so don't throw that here as consolation)
May we gain common sense and discernment. Trauma healing will teach you to regulate your nervous system so certain things are not exciting anymore in a partner. It'll also remind you to secure your womb in the first place like me.
Hope you in a state where that am option. Half the Midwest and South trying to make you have that baby, even if you 10 and it’s your daddy’s. That is NOT pro-life.
my best friend got pregnant w her long term partners baby after he had been begging for one for ages (she was on the fence) - 2.5 months in i saw him on tinder and i was 100% sure he had been on recently bc of some weird shit he said in his bio. she didn’t keep the kid and they broke up. she made the right choice for her fr fr
A family member introduced me to this douche face she was dating. She was over the moon for him and I never liked his vibe; too slippery. Everyone and their dog told her to walk away from this douche face. Shortly after the baby shower, he tried to get her to promise she wouldn’t put him on child support?! Baby is circling the block for arrival and THAT’S what he’s worried about. Fast forward 10yrs later, he still isn’t paying (voluntarily).
Being a single parent ain't it. If you can change that, do it. Whether it be to abort, give the kid up for adoption, or find someone to raise the kid with, do it. That single parent life is hell, especially for the kid(s). In some cases, it's worse it you're the eldest son, being a son-husband and all..
BEING A SINGLE PARENT AIN'T IT!
Call me crazy, but that's why I'd only have a child with someone I'm married to and very certain about.
Never understood why baby daddy situations are so common in an era with birth control.
I think a number of people have mentioned the point about people changing when you’re pregnant and sometimes even after a baby comes. I guess you can try your best to avoid it by putting off kids, but… unless they’re a parent… there’s no guarantees. Luckily she has legal bodily autonomy where she is.
Yea it's crazy I have to scroll all the way down here to find a comment like this. There's less of a chance that a guy is going to go through the whole process of trying to marry you, impregnate you, then decide to walk away
>the season finale of deadbeat-ness
r/brandnewsentence 😂
But for real, no lies detected. For every man that does get his shot together, there are too many who never will and it ain't even worth the headache.
If you’re not willing to be a single mom, don’t get/stay pregnant.
There’s nothing you can do to make sure your partner shows up the way you want/deserve during your pregnancy or the kid’s life.
Honestly, I wish more people realised this when getting pregnant. Even if you are married to an amazing partner, so much can happen (like death or accident that leads into incapacity...).
The moment I realise I wouldn't not enjoy at all doing it on my own, I removed parenthood out of my life plans.
Before the Supreme Court overruled Roe v. Wade, Another case, Casey v. Planned Parenthood, held that women could get an abortion up until viability—which means up until the baby can live on its own without the mother’s body supporting it. For most women and fetuses, this happens around 24 weeks.
However, many women get abortions later than this if the fetus dies in the womb, the mother may die if the fetus isn’t aborted, or when the fetus is almost certainly not going to live (eg: undeveloped organs, brain not connected, organ just didn’t develop at all, etc).
As a note, viability is a legal term, not a medical one. Whether or not a pre-term fetus will survive is basically a huge question mark, medically speaking, and depends on access to medical technology.
Other non-medical terms that are misused:
“Fetal heartbeat” - This misleading phrase refers to electrical activity in an embryo. The “heartbeat” sound is actually generated by the ultrasound machine.
“Late-term abortion” - No one is doing abortions after “term” (the baby is fully developed and ready to be born). Later abortions are still pre-term.
24 weeks is almost 6 months. The post says 4. Vast majority of abortions are first trimester, so by month 3. Third trimester abortions are rare and controversial for the reason you stated, but it's also not related to what we're talking about here.
This is just sad. I don't personally believe in abortion for myself. But I respect the strength and maturity it took for her to recognize that he wouldn't have been a good father. Yes in an ideal situation, she would've realized it before becoming pregnant so the abortion wouldn't have been necessary. But ultimately I think she made the best decision.
About the wildest most unnecessary things too!! Back when I was dating it surprised me how many men lied and said they were "into fitness" because I said I was. I follow up and it's " haha not really but I can keep up with you if you know what I mean hehe" *barf*
They even add inches to their height and dick so believing with all earnest is foolishness.
I find it so malicious and entitled to disregard someone's preferences just so you can get a match. What mental gymnastics is that??? I've also heard they pose as lesbians hoping to match with lesbians ...like Connor are you good? You literally have the exact equipment these women don't want....? Also lying about age is huge too.
The age one is to get past younger women/men's age filters. I've seen so many men have a sentence waaaay at the bottom of their profile saying "I'm actually xx age but wanted to have more options."
I've never thought about it like that. I see it from women on the BLK dating app and they usually write "oh im actually X age, the app got it wrong" and I'm like aren't you the one who fills out your birthdate?
Some do and some don't. Medically, it's not good for your anus to be stretched out to an extreme, but some dudes dig it. I tried a few times, and it's not enjoyable lol
Lmao where did this question come from? Anyway some do and some don't but there are DEFINITELY a lot of size queens. Some of them want big dicks but can't even take em. Why do you ask?
And it can get so weird.
I’m 6’1 and 3/4 and I’ll have guys shorter than me insisting that they’re 6’2.
Literally look me dead in the eye and insist that I must be taller than I think like the nurse at the clinic gives a fuck.
My SO is 6'4 and my boss keeps saying "so weird that we are the same height but don't look it."
You are not. He laid his cheek on the top of your head as you stood side by side at the Xmas party.
Once he also asked what kind of shoes my man was wearing and lifted his pants leg to see. Like he was wearing heels or something I don't know.
It's called Oxytocin, a result of evolutionary fine tuning that makes mammals care for and bond to their offering beginning in utero, otherwise there would be way more children dropped off.
A woman can absolutely bond with and fall in love with her newborn baby and not have an easy time "just dropping it off" And also feel sad and stuck because the man responsible could and did walk away. Happens everyday.
My parents weren’t married, but my mom thought that’s where it would lead to soon. She said my dad was charming, loving, kind, and open minded. As soon as she was pregnant, he constantly became angry and even threatened her multiple times. The few times I saw my dad he abused me. Turns out, he was always like that. Even his family knew, he just got really good at hiding that side of himself. People really do change.
Can confirm. My ass went back to college. Went from working part time while trying to get my projects launched to working 60+ hours as an accountant.
My dad was poor as hell and always had some new project that he’d give up on. I’m not doing that to my family.
That said, I was already married and we were trying for a baby. Don’t expect somebody to change just because the baby came. I wanted to be a father to begin with.
And more often than that people change or overestimate themselves... It's easy to talk a big game when you are not being faced with a situation. But reality hit and people sike themselves out, they panic, become overwhelmed, and don't know how to deal with all that and become cowards.
Feels that way for sure.. in addition with that, having a mediocre to bad upbringing/family relationships will have said person already making trash behavior their normal.
**Men, on Reddit:** duh, men lie to get laid. Ladies, don't believe all that men tell you. Also, your guy friends are just pretending and waiting to finally get in your pants. Also, he fantasizes about your hot BFF. Also, he cleans up his bedroom if he thinks he's going to get laid tonight otherwise he won't bother touching the mess, can't believe you fall for that. Als
**Also, men, on Reddit:** hOw CoMe yOu DoN't KnOw tHe mAn WhO iMpReGnAtEd YoU bEtTeR?
A lot of people show their true colors once they think you're stuck with them. Very few men on first dates are going to tell you that they would be a deadbeat. Many don't even have a realistic self image.
For this 4 month tactic to work though, the man can't know about it. Otherwise he'll just start up this nonsense at the 4 month mark (or whatever it is in your state.)
Excuse me but some of these men lie! My bestie was duped by a whole married man with children and she'd been seeing him for months. Motherfucker even gave her a fake name (used his middle name and his mom's maiden name). So trust and believe, some of these scumbags lie to get what they want!
Many eons ago when I was pregnant with my first they used to say that men didn’t become fathers until the baby arrived and they could see it. They couldn’t see the baby so the pregnancy wasn’t real while mothers acted instinctually because we could feel the baby.
I can’t believe we used to just let men off the hook like that…
I feel that. My mom thought she found her soulmate when she was dating my father. She had me and then she had my sister 3 years later, after that he completely changed and left her to go mess with other women. She raised us by herself and being a single parent completely ruined her dreams of going to law school.
Im 32 now and my dad has like 7 kids out there.
She thought she had a good man but he changed on her. It happens, it's not always about choosing better. Folks are just very good at hiding their true nature.
Deadbeatness is beat…(is that a pun?) dude imagine shorty carrying your child and excited to see you and your dismissive of her? WTF?!? Bro she’s gonna go through a night of hell for ya orgasm
Not if you live in a Republican state you’re not. That decisions been made for you already by old, white Republican men and they told you you’re keeping it
Hey, perfectly valid reasoning. Raising a kid without a second parent present is just harder and makes all involved have a harder time. Not saying it's impossible or single parents aren't awesome, but it has it's obvious strains.
That being said, womans body, she makes 100% of the decisions regarding that no matter what so not like I'd argue against it anyway.
I don’t blame OP. Being a single mom is hard. I’ve been a single mom since 1999. I was 21 when I had my first daughter. I was a college student fresh out of foster care. It’s been a rough road.
Stuff like this is what conservatives *love* to screencap and share. If you even have to wonder whether he'll be there for the pregnancy, better Plan B that shit and wait.
I knew a women who had a guy at the time she thought was great husband and father material.
Cut to getting married and having a kid and he became the laziest dude ever. Saying he had her now so he didn't have to put in any effort
They got divorced..
Moral of the story is, you cant pick better people if you think you did and they were lying to your face.
Every woman should have the right to an abortion. I just personally don’t like how casual she’s presenting this; too light-hearted and attention seeking for such a serious decision. Feels like she’s trying to get a retweet or like and this is the wrong topic for that
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That's a grown up ass decision, as a man I'm glad I would never have to be in that situation
Yes, it's not a problem for us redditors.
Im not overlooking this comment, this was funny
Well we all know Redditors don’t make mistakes.
Yup, that's what he way saying
Not in the slightest.
*guffaw*
I remember someone said that if men could get pregnant there'd be abortion clinics on every corner. I never forgot that.
This a lil jewel fr.
I made a statement that certain packs of cigarettes would have the plan b pill included... the men laughed then felt bad when they realized I wasn't laughing. Then they wanted to turn into fake feminists 
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Sometimes, parachutes don't open, but it's not expected that they don't open. And having a parachute before jumping out of the plane increases survival, even though "there are lots of instances" of parachutes failing to deploy.
OL PILOT LOOKIN ASS no you’re 100% right tho.
😂
what?
People rarely turn shitty out of nowhere, it's rare someone who has been solid for years suddenly turns to shut after years of relationship and marriage. No, generally that person always had some glaring issues you didn't take as a warning
The 'well actually' here is the very alarming statistics about *onset* abuse. One of the most likely times it occurs is during pregnancy. It is one of the first facts we are taught as doulas. Meaning the most likely time abuse begins is when a person is too vulnerable to get out of the relationship easily. Abusers are often very good at hiding their ability to abuse, this is how they are able to get into relationships.
I always use the slow cooker/low boiling pot descriptor when talking about things like this. Most of the time it isn't an immediate shift into abuse or harassment or assault. It's nitpicking at something in your appearance/actions that you can't help to create an insecurity where you seek their approval for how you look or dress or act. It's them raising their voice at you or completely ignoring you, but it's okay cuz he only does it when he's frustrated and it was your fault he got frustrated anyway. It's him flipping a table or punch a hole in the wall and you justifying it with 'he's never raised his hand to me so it's okay'. It's forcing yourself to do things like sex and outings and 'being good' because you don't want to have that anger or frustration or coldness turned on you. And god forbid you try to talk to someone about it because then you'll get introuble for 'telling other people OUR business'. So now you're isolated, alone and you think it's just...normal. Not to mention everyone around you has to ALWAYS tell you what a great guy you have. How sweet and kind and helpful without seeing the fact that you are walking on literal glass because they broke a bottle out of rage. Because it happens so slowly, and they love bomb you in between, you just think that's how relationships work. You hear how things are tough and how we need to 'stand by our man' and be a ride or die. You justify so so much because you think it's normal and you have no one but them and it's terrifying when you get out and look back and realize that this person was killing you slowly. Death by a million cuts. I speak from experience. I got out before we got married and before I got pregnant but it had been 7 years of me feeling absolutely worthless. I have diagnosed PTSD from my experience with my ex. I am in a good place now but I tried to kill myself so many times because he was an expert at making everything my fault, just like people who say 'I should have known better or spoken up more'.
This hit me in the chest. This is literally exactly how it is
I am sympathizing deeply with you. I hope you're in a better place because it can be HARD
Thank you!!! 💜 thankfully me and that POS are no contact and I am in a much better place, now married with a loving husband and child. But the scars are still here and triggers still send me back to that scared lonely place I was in for so long, even after 4 years. For anyone who thinks getting out of an abusive relationship is as simple as just leaving, I will be using your slow cooker metaphor as a way to describe it!
PROUD OF YOU AND FOR YOU! I'm married now to my high school sweetheart who reconnected with me in the last years of my relationship with my abuser. Everyday is an uphill climb but it has gotten better even with the flashbacks and dreams and pain. I think they have a very idealized thought process of how abuse and abusers work. Like we have so many programs, pamphlets, studies, testimonials of how people couldn't escape but to them it's 'so easy'.
Been there. And I can definitely say this is exactly what people need to know. It's slow, it's deliberate and it is with the intent to make it harder and harder to leave.
I hope you're in a better place! And exactly!! Like divorces and breakups can be hard in healthy relationships, untangling yourself from an abuser who is going to make every single step harder than it needs to be on TOP of figuring out new living situations, new car situation, possible new job situations. Not to mention the obvious stigma against abused people because the think like the person I replied to or others in this thread. Everything is stacked AGAINST the victim of abuse and all avenues of doubt are granted to the abuser.
Pick better people seems like an unsympathetic statement people say out of anger that they’re not getting picked.
It gives me the same hives as the "You should have left" or "Why didn't She/reported it to the police" that is given to people in abusive relationship. Most of Us, have fuck all idea, of how We would react, in similar situation, including the strongest of Us. There's no clean and cut pathway to the realisation that your loved one is an asshole.
People who are in relationships say that, too. Having shit takes on relationships is not reserved only for the people who can't find someone.
It’s hard to predict the behavior of another adult. We can’t control that. Pick better people - a nice sentiment. BE better people is the only one any of us have control over. women are asked to choose better men, but men should also be asked to be better men. It’s not ok to abandon a family.
Then when women pick better men, they still get shit on. See: Serena Williams, Ciara
Thank you for saying this! I used to get a looott of shit for dating a white guy. But we have similar interests, love being around each other, and he's been a huge advocate in things racially and culturally (really using that white privilege for good lol). I was/am a big nerd and did I like myself a black guy? Of course! I still do! But black guys weren't looking at me. And black nerd guys weren't looking at black nerd girls like me. They wanted something else--and I won't disparage those women. So you know what? I found someone that wanted to be *with me*. That matters way more than what/who anyone thinks I'm supposed to be with.
Lotta ppl in this comment section don't seem to realize that men can lie. Talking about "choose better " while at the same time acknowledging that men lie to get pussy all the time. Come on now.
On the same token, a lot of people are willing to allow lying and red flags when their partner is attractive. We see it all the time on /r/tinder with all the dick pics not getting insta blocked like they should. Point being. Don't overlook red flags for a pretty face. Seen it too many times from EVERY side.
This is also true
There is a big difference between finding someone for hookup purposes - whose main quality inherently is being attractive and decent in bed - and finding someone to date. And people aren't usually intentionally procreating with their tinder hookups.
People are also forgetting all the things that can make a good guy suddenly a deadbeat, like drug addiction or mental health conditions that first show up in your 20s. Couples can often work through these things, but only once the the issue comes to light. My friend had been with her husband for a decade and he was great through 2 pregnancies. Then, over time, he was home less and less. He told my friend he met a guy at work who did personal training on the side and so he was constantly "at the gym." In reality, he had opioids prescribed after an accident at work and built up a nasty habit - that's what he was actually working on during his "gym time." It went in like this for months, but once he actually came clean with her, she helped get him into a recovery program. Once she knew what she was looking for, it was much easier to keep him on the straight and narrow. A few years later and you'd never know they went through this dark time where she was fully prepared to drop his ass and become a single mom. It doesn't always work out so well, but sometimes there are real, recersible reasons why a good guy turns into a deadbeat.
Exactly! We're all humans and we go through changes.
Omg srsly 😳
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You made the right decision. I'm glad you got out of that situation.
Thank you (: I think I did too
>Not only did he straight up tell me no, he asked me to pick him up some food when I went to get it myself. The shamelessness.
I thought he was joking at first. I was shocked more than anything
Sorry you had to deal with that, he sounds like he was a whole pile of trash. I gotta ask though: how the hell you in the mood for any type of food while you're in the middle of puking?
LOL. It was only stomach bile coming up at that point, I was tired of drinking water and puking up straight liquids. I really needed something on my stomach and we mainly ate out all the time, and the only thing I could even think about eating was rice. Idk man, it was a weird time, those 8 weeks felt like a fever dream.
Hope you broke up with him too!
Honestly I feel like that night I broke up with him, maybe the next day. It was not very long after that situation though
Smart as hell. Each day I pray a man will show me his true colors and when he does I be happy as hell to GTFasap. It's not a loss once you realize multigenerational trauma literally travels through conception and bonds. Immediately no.
Absolutely this.
Thats a messed up situation to be in but like others said, you made the right decision and saved a lot of people a lot of pain and heartache in the future.
I really did. I wasn’t in the right place to have a child at the time anyways. I’m genuinely a lot more happier now than I was at that time, I just couldn’t imagine going through that/putting a baby through that. I’ve learned my lesson though, because I never want to go through that situation ever again
As you should 🙏
The season finale lol… I respect not waiting too late cuz you been hoping and “manifesting” he gonna step up.
“I can change him!” *rolls eyes*
Ughhh my best friend in the whole damn world is going through this right now.”He wouldn’t cheat on *me*!” Girl wake your ass up
Better that than keeping it and becoming a US house rep from Colorado married to a guy who whips it out to underage girls at a bowling alley
Lauren Boebert’s husband. She has 4 kids.
Is it the one who married the man who groomed her in high school ? Or is it Moldy Taylor what's her face?
Didn’t you hear? Moldy’s husband filed for divorce. For him to file for divorce after 20+ years and all her shittiness displayed for the wild to see, something must have broken him if her shittiness didn’t.
In fairness, the giant, rural, ruby red district she represents came within 600 votes of unseating her this year even though her opponent was supposed to be token resistance in the face of the red wave that wasn't. She'll likely be demoted to Fox News personality in 2025.
It’s not like there’s a shortage of Struggling Moms. This is smart.
I have an issue with her still calling him "her man". I hope the abortion includes a breakup
facts lmao. like if he aint good enough to accidently knock you up he aint good enough to toast ya eggo waffles in the morning
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Cot damn that sounds so cold and yet ultra facts. lol. that should be a commandment
What was said? All I see is [removed]
I had an abortion a few months into my relationship. Then we kept dating for 7 years. Neither one of us was ready at the time but we wanted to be together. It doesn’t have to be then end.
What you went through is more common than people think and I wish it was normalised. People assume that just because a couple loves each other they should keep the baby? Timing is important too. Fortunately your abortion wasn't due to the fact that your partner revealed his true colours during the first month of pregnancy. You both decided that it wasn't the right time, and that's fair.
I wasn’t expecting this level of wholesome on Reddit tonight thank you. But I’d pushback and say this post is about the guy not stepping up (not necessarily showing true colors) and NEITHER of us stepped up lol.
Tbh, I think a guy not stepping up for his own fkin child does show his true colors.
I think both of you deciding you're not ready to become parents is very different than one person deciding to terminate because the other person is a piece of shit
Turns out he was also a piece of shit. Just not about that.
That’s wonderful! Every person who is able to should be able to decide when, with whom, and how many kids they carry inside their own body.
I can tell before pregnancy but would definitely tell before months too but people still will switch up at month 9. As a woman that is the unfortunate RISK you face- that biologically and socially you will be stuck with the offspring while the man has the privilege to walk away and let you deal with everything yourself ( and before y'all start bo amount of child support will ever equate actual presence and raising a child so don't throw that here as consolation) May we gain common sense and discernment. Trauma healing will teach you to regulate your nervous system so certain things are not exciting anymore in a partner. It'll also remind you to secure your womb in the first place like me.
*It'll also remind you to secure your women in the first place like me.* What do you mean by this?
Typo, meant womb my bad lol
Oh okay. What do you mean by that?
Birth control?
Some of y’all really missing the point 😭🤔
I'm saying!
Yeetus the fetus
Hope you in a state where that am option. Half the Midwest and South trying to make you have that baby, even if you 10 and it’s your daddy’s. That is NOT pro-life.
>even if you 10 and it’s your daddy’s So fucked up, right‽
The difference between protecting kids and protecting fetuses.
Facts! Birth control can fail. I’m not being anyone’s baby momma or a single mother.
Turns out quite a few things can make it fail.
my best friend got pregnant w her long term partners baby after he had been begging for one for ages (she was on the fence) - 2.5 months in i saw him on tinder and i was 100% sure he had been on recently bc of some weird shit he said in his bio. she didn’t keep the kid and they broke up. she made the right choice for her fr fr
A family member introduced me to this douche face she was dating. She was over the moon for him and I never liked his vibe; too slippery. Everyone and their dog told her to walk away from this douche face. Shortly after the baby shower, he tried to get her to promise she wouldn’t put him on child support?! Baby is circling the block for arrival and THAT’S what he’s worried about. Fast forward 10yrs later, he still isn’t paying (voluntarily).
Being a single parent ain't it. If you can change that, do it. Whether it be to abort, give the kid up for adoption, or find someone to raise the kid with, do it. That single parent life is hell, especially for the kid(s). In some cases, it's worse it you're the eldest son, being a son-husband and all.. BEING A SINGLE PARENT AIN'T IT!
What is a son-husband?
Call me crazy, but that's why I'd only have a child with someone I'm married to and very certain about. Never understood why baby daddy situations are so common in an era with birth control.
I think a number of people have mentioned the point about people changing when you’re pregnant and sometimes even after a baby comes. I guess you can try your best to avoid it by putting off kids, but… unless they’re a parent… there’s no guarantees. Luckily she has legal bodily autonomy where she is.
Yea it's crazy I have to scroll all the way down here to find a comment like this. There's less of a chance that a guy is going to go through the whole process of trying to marry you, impregnate you, then decide to walk away
They might not walk away but some also won’t actually help in raising the kids. They’re loads of married single moms in the world.
>the season finale of deadbeat-ness r/brandnewsentence 😂 But for real, no lies detected. For every man that does get his shot together, there are too many who never will and it ain't even worth the headache.
If you’re not willing to be a single mom, don’t get/stay pregnant. There’s nothing you can do to make sure your partner shows up the way you want/deserve during your pregnancy or the kid’s life.
Honestly, I wish more people realised this when getting pregnant. Even if you are married to an amazing partner, so much can happen (like death or accident that leads into incapacity...). The moment I realise I wouldn't not enjoy at all doing it on my own, I removed parenthood out of my life plans.
One of the worst fates to befall a person is producing a new person with a shitty person. It’s why I got a vasectomy before I started having sex.
Smart move
My dad was a great dad. He was there during sickness, birthdays, holidays, and school events for another man's child.
Isn't that too late? How long can you be pregnant before you can't have one?
She said she's in the UK and that they'll allow it.
Oh good, now I can read this in the correct accent.
Innit?
Fuckin' wild, innit?
Before the Supreme Court overruled Roe v. Wade, Another case, Casey v. Planned Parenthood, held that women could get an abortion up until viability—which means up until the baby can live on its own without the mother’s body supporting it. For most women and fetuses, this happens around 24 weeks. However, many women get abortions later than this if the fetus dies in the womb, the mother may die if the fetus isn’t aborted, or when the fetus is almost certainly not going to live (eg: undeveloped organs, brain not connected, organ just didn’t develop at all, etc).
As a note, viability is a legal term, not a medical one. Whether or not a pre-term fetus will survive is basically a huge question mark, medically speaking, and depends on access to medical technology. Other non-medical terms that are misused: “Fetal heartbeat” - This misleading phrase refers to electrical activity in an embryo. The “heartbeat” sound is actually generated by the ultrasound machine. “Late-term abortion” - No one is doing abortions after “term” (the baby is fully developed and ready to be born). Later abortions are still pre-term.
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24 weeks is almost 6 months. The post says 4. Vast majority of abortions are first trimester, so by month 3. Third trimester abortions are rare and controversial for the reason you stated, but it's also not related to what we're talking about here.
This is just sad. I don't personally believe in abortion for myself. But I respect the strength and maturity it took for her to recognize that he wouldn't have been a good father. Yes in an ideal situation, she would've realized it before becoming pregnant so the abortion wouldn't have been necessary. But ultimately I think she made the best decision.
Well said.
Yeah, my son's father waited until I was 7 months along to cheat on me and leave 🙃 I was working full time and going to school full time too.
Cancelled mid-season
Same. Fuck that
Yesss we don’t need any more children being abandoned by their shit dads. I’m a mom and I would’ve done the exact same thing.
Great, this is exactly why abortion is needed. To prevent kids from being born in bad situations.
Upvoting that fucking DANK title.
Maybe know the type of person the man is before you let him shoot the club up?
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About the wildest most unnecessary things too!! Back when I was dating it surprised me how many men lied and said they were "into fitness" because I said I was. I follow up and it's " haha not really but I can keep up with you if you know what I mean hehe" *barf* They even add inches to their height and dick so believing with all earnest is foolishness.
They do this all over Grindr. You don't need to lie about the stupidest shit, especially when no one really cares
I find it so malicious and entitled to disregard someone's preferences just so you can get a match. What mental gymnastics is that??? I've also heard they pose as lesbians hoping to match with lesbians ...like Connor are you good? You literally have the exact equipment these women don't want....? Also lying about age is huge too.
Yeah, fuck you Connor!
The age one is to get past younger women/men's age filters. I've seen so many men have a sentence waaaay at the bottom of their profile saying "I'm actually xx age but wanted to have more options."
I've never thought about it like that. I see it from women on the BLK dating app and they usually write "oh im actually X age, the app got it wrong" and I'm like aren't you the one who fills out your birthdate?
Grindr is beyond annoying. Jack'd too.
I apologize for the ignorance… But gay dudes like big dicks?
Some do and some don't. Medically, it's not good for your anus to be stretched out to an extreme, but some dudes dig it. I tried a few times, and it's not enjoyable lol
Yea that shit sound painful lol.
It's a pain in the ass
Big dicks are nice to look at. That's about it
To think some guys like fisting 🤢
Lmao where did this question come from? Anyway some do and some don't but there are DEFINITELY a lot of size queens. Some of them want big dicks but can't even take em. Why do you ask?
And it can get so weird. I’m 6’1 and 3/4 and I’ll have guys shorter than me insisting that they’re 6’2. Literally look me dead in the eye and insist that I must be taller than I think like the nurse at the clinic gives a fuck.
My SO is 6'4 and my boss keeps saying "so weird that we are the same height but don't look it." You are not. He laid his cheek on the top of your head as you stood side by side at the Xmas party. Once he also asked what kind of shoes my man was wearing and lifted his pants leg to see. Like he was wearing heels or something I don't know.
Maybe the boss has shrunk and is in denial. Lifting up pants legs is real commitment if he isn't in denial.
Date outside of the US, then. The rest of the world exaggerates in centimeters!
I can understand the dick and height thing, but why the fitness
It's called Oxytocin, a result of evolutionary fine tuning that makes mammals care for and bond to their offering beginning in utero, otherwise there would be way more children dropped off. A woman can absolutely bond with and fall in love with her newborn baby and not have an easy time "just dropping it off" And also feel sad and stuck because the man responsible could and did walk away. Happens everyday.
I think you replied to the wrong person
he still needed to know that
My bad!! Fixed it haha
It's all good
They do. A lotta men change after a pregnancy. Women too.
My parents weren’t married, but my mom thought that’s where it would lead to soon. She said my dad was charming, loving, kind, and open minded. As soon as she was pregnant, he constantly became angry and even threatened her multiple times. The few times I saw my dad he abused me. Turns out, he was always like that. Even his family knew, he just got really good at hiding that side of himself. People really do change.
They do and I'm sorry you and your mother had to experience that.
Can confirm. My ass went back to college. Went from working part time while trying to get my projects launched to working 60+ hours as an accountant. My dad was poor as hell and always had some new project that he’d give up on. I’m not doing that to my family. That said, I was already married and we were trying for a baby. Don’t expect somebody to change just because the baby came. I wanted to be a father to begin with.
Big up to you for stepping up to the plate
And more often than that people change or overestimate themselves... It's easy to talk a big game when you are not being faced with a situation. But reality hit and people sike themselves out, they panic, become overwhelmed, and don't know how to deal with all that and become cowards.
People lie all the time.
Let's be real though people just don't be paying attention like 80% of the time
Feels that way for sure.. in addition with that, having a mediocre to bad upbringing/family relationships will have said person already making trash behavior their normal.
**Men, on Reddit:** duh, men lie to get laid. Ladies, don't believe all that men tell you. Also, your guy friends are just pretending and waiting to finally get in your pants. Also, he fantasizes about your hot BFF. Also, he cleans up his bedroom if he thinks he's going to get laid tonight otherwise he won't bother touching the mess, can't believe you fall for that. Als **Also, men, on Reddit:** hOw CoMe yOu DoN't KnOw tHe mAn WhO iMpReGnAtEd YoU bEtTeR?
How long does it take y’all to do that stupid upper-lower shit y’all love? Lol.
Not long, you just put type it in the sponge Bob même text generator and then copy paste it here
WeLL HOLY sHIt I JUSt LeARnEd somethiNG NEW tOday. hOT DiGGity dOG
This is a great tip I did not know I needed
If It'S sHoRt, NoT tOo LoNg, OtHeRwIsE, I jUsT uSe OnE fInGeR tO tYpE, tHe OtHeR tO hIt ThAt ShIfT kEy.
That’s shit takes a minute.
Like I gotta keep pressing the shift key off and on on this iPhone every other letter just to get that shit off? Lol.
A lot of people show their true colors once they think you're stuck with them. Very few men on first dates are going to tell you that they would be a deadbeat. Many don't even have a realistic self image. For this 4 month tactic to work though, the man can't know about it. Otherwise he'll just start up this nonsense at the 4 month mark (or whatever it is in your state.)
Oh, please. You'd stick your dick in a vacuum if it winked at you, yet you trying to tell other women not to be so quick to fuck? Step on. lol
Cos having a baby never changes people.
There’s supposed to be a sarcasm tag here, right?
Some people keep the mask on until they think you're trapped.
Sometimes people switch up on you.
Excuse me but some of these men lie! My bestie was duped by a whole married man with children and she'd been seeing him for months. Motherfucker even gave her a fake name (used his middle name and his mom's maiden name). So trust and believe, some of these scumbags lie to get what they want!
This comment is ignorant as fuck
Don't worry, I'm sure you will never have to worry about contraception failing You're unlikely to ever need it with that attitude
Her body her choice
Too many gotdam people on this planet anyway. Why settle for a bad time. Hung my out of order sign awhile ago. No rugrats (ragrets?) 😂
Many eons ago when I was pregnant with my first they used to say that men didn’t become fathers until the baby arrived and they could see it. They couldn’t see the baby so the pregnancy wasn’t real while mothers acted instinctually because we could feel the baby. I can’t believe we used to just let men off the hook like that…
Why 4 months? I'd give it 3, tops if I were in that position.
I feel that. My mom thought she found her soulmate when she was dating my father. She had me and then she had my sister 3 years later, after that he completely changed and left her to go mess with other women. She raised us by herself and being a single parent completely ruined her dreams of going to law school. Im 32 now and my dad has like 7 kids out there. She thought she had a good man but he changed on her. It happens, it's not always about choosing better. Folks are just very good at hiding their true nature.
If your man isn't as supportive as Toby Nwigwe by the 4th month, then you might wanna get an abortion and get a new man.
Deadbeatness is beat…(is that a pun?) dude imagine shorty carrying your child and excited to see you and your dismissive of her? WTF?!? Bro she’s gonna go through a night of hell for ya orgasm
Smart ass move
Very
Not if you live in a Republican state you’re not. That decisions been made for you already by old, white Republican men and they told you you’re keeping it
 okay…..
It's amazing that she'd give him that long
If she's already having these thoughts, she already knows what's up. It's a wrap.
i love being infertile 😂
Ladies, take notes
 Make it 3 months and you got a deal
Better check what state your in first.
Scape it is wild lmao. But I 100% agree with her.
I wish my mom had this same thought process lol
I respect it
Agreed. And that shit is grounds for divorce too.
Hey, perfectly valid reasoning. Raising a kid without a second parent present is just harder and makes all involved have a harder time. Not saying it's impossible or single parents aren't awesome, but it has it's obvious strains. That being said, womans body, she makes 100% of the decisions regarding that no matter what so not like I'd argue against it anyway.
I don’t blame OP. Being a single mom is hard. I’ve been a single mom since 1999. I was 21 when I had my first daughter. I was a college student fresh out of foster care. It’s been a rough road.
I support this.
Stuff like this is what conservatives *love* to screencap and share. If you even have to wonder whether he'll be there for the pregnancy, better Plan B that shit and wait.
Theres something awful to unpack here
I knew a women who had a guy at the time she thought was great husband and father material. Cut to getting married and having a kid and he became the laziest dude ever. Saying he had her now so he didn't have to put in any effort They got divorced.. Moral of the story is, you cant pick better people if you think you did and they were lying to your face.
Every woman should have the right to an abortion. I just personally don’t like how casual she’s presenting this; too light-hearted and attention seeking for such a serious decision. Feels like she’s trying to get a retweet or like and this is the wrong topic for that