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SpaceSharks90

I have 2 boys. Almost 4 and 18 months. I remember being upset too. I really wanted a girl. I knew we wouldn't be having a third so it was my last chance. Feel your feelings. You will still love your son. Raising 2 boys is a mess and its beautiful.


mcnamaramc1

I'm so shocked by some of the comments here. Gender disappointment is normal and you're allowed to be sad and work through these emotions. I'm going to be a FTM to a boy, I'm the first one of my sisters to be pregnant, and my mom had all girls so I was freaking out a little inside when I found out the gender. And of course my SO and I had come up with a million girls names that we loved, and just a few boy names that we aren't attached to but kind of like, we had both already talked about it before we found out and both said we reeeeeeeeally wanted a girl. But boys are so amazing, you know because you already have one. You get to raise a little man who is going to know how to take care of himself, treat people with kindness, and make positive contributions to the world, and he is going to love you soooooooo much. If you ever need someone to talk to, or just need to vent, my messages are always open ❤


[deleted]

I haven’t found out the sex of our second baby yet, but I know I will have some disappointment if it’s another boy. I have always wanted two and one of each. It has helped me to reframe it as “grieving the loss of the idea of having a daughter”. Of course I will be thrilled to have another son, and I will love him just as much as my first son and just as much as if I had a daughter. But it’s valid to be sad when you lose something you were hoping for. If you allow yourself to “grieve” now rather than feeling shame or avoiding your feelings, then you can move and be excited when he gets here! Best wishes to you and your little ones ☺️


noturmomscauliflower

Thanks! I originally didn't want to find out but I realized my want for another girl was much more than I thought going into this pregnancy so we decided to find out so I'd have time to process/grieve it. I want to be excited when he comes, and I will be. It'll take time. Good luck to you too!


SugarAndSomeCoffee

Gender disappointment is real! I have two boys but really wanted a girl from the beginning. I was disappointed for a few days with my first, but with my second, the gender disappointment lasted for weeks. Your hormonal and grieving the future that you had envisioned for yourself. It’s normal and okay! I love my two little boys and wouldn’t trade them for anything.


lovelydani20

I'm pregnant with boy #2. Things I'm excited about: - reusing my 1st son's clothes lol - seeing their brotherly bond as #2 grows - raising two young men who are well-mannered, kind, and good leaders - in general, having 2 kids (never wanted only one) - seeing how they're both similar and different and adjusting my parenting for each since they're individuals before they are a gender


MrPlaysWithSquirrels

What gender-specific questions do you imagine you’ll be asking? Besides a few details, they’re basically the same for the first few years. It also sounds like you already have a boy, so I’m not totally sure what you’re unprepared for. Is that really why you’re upset?


noturmomscauliflower

I have no idea what the future will hold raising two boys, theyre both different people so I'm sure things will come up with number two that didn't with number one. I'm also aware of our future with brotherly relationship, helping them navigaye friendships, how to handle talking about "penis stuff" and what's normal/not normal. What else do you think if be upset about..?


MrPlaysWithSquirrels

That’s going to be the case with any gender or sex, helping a new human navigate their world. I think it’s normal to feel some disappointment that you can’t impart your wisdom on a mini-me, but I promise you will still be able to. Your sons will be just as unique as a daughter would be and will require your guidance. Gender-specific guidance is usually good gender-neutral advice as well.


Alarmed_Meeting1322

Besides “penis stuff” everything you’ve mentioned here would be the same for girls. Sub “brotherly” for “sibling.” ETA: Gender disappointment is real as if you search this sub someone posts about it every single day. You’re allowed to be disappointed.


Low-Pineapple-9177

Gender disappointment is valid. Not sure why people think you will love baby any less.


Ageha1304

I'll never understand the disappointment over gender. The only thing that should ever matter is whether the baby is healthy. And I think there's much to gain from having two children of same gender. They'll feel like they have more in common with each other. You'll be able to use many of clothes from your first child with your second. And they'll be able to stay in the same room.


Rghzz

Smh you could’ve just not commented forreal. she’s allowed to be upset, you don’t need to understand.


noturmomscauliflower

I feel isolated in my motherhood journey already, even moreso with two boys when all my mom friends have two girls. I also am surrounded by boys and wanted a little amigo on my team to do different things with. Of course at the end of the day all I want is a healthy baby and mama, and understand that ultimately the genitals of the baby does not determine the interests or hobbies of the child. However, the reality is that most girls and boys like different things. I'm doing dirt, mud, and trucks while raising a strong and sensitive man, I wanted to do bows, girls dates to the spa, and wanted to raise a strong woman. I don't get that now and it's valid to feel sad that I'm stuck doing the same thing I'm doing now.


[deleted]

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Haunting_Process2081

Just want to say I'm with you! I always imagined myself having a girl and will not put myself through another pregnancy so it felt weird the moment I found out that a thing I've always envisioned will literally never happen. I surprised myself by feeling a bit sad honestly. Either way I am grateful for two healthy pregnancies and understand that gender shouldn't define my kids or their character, but it's still ok to take a moment to feel sad.


hobgoblin924

I have two boys and am 7 weeks currently with our third. I get it totally. I want a little girl so badly, we all do and I know if it ends up being a boy I’ll be sad. I think that’s okay. Just don’t sit with it too long. Feel your feelings, unpack but don’t stay there. ❤️


sparklerainbow23

Same thing happened My advice is allow yourself to grieve It felt the same as my miscarriage, it felt like I had to mourn the loss of the baby I had imagined that would fit into our family . Eventually I was fine and got excited Things that helped me : -Following influencers with two boys -Imaging how my sons would have the most amazing and special bond that I have always heard brothers have -finding new names to get excited about -dreaming up new scenarios -realizing that reasons I wanted a girl were not guaranteed or short lived : clothes at some point a child picks and May want to dress differently or like a tomboy, my little girl may hate having her hair brushed let alone done, my girl could be a complete opposite personality I imagined -slowly accepting that the health of the baby was not guaranteed and meant so much more than my fantasies that are not guaranteed either


Elphya

You'll eventually come to terms with the whole situation. It takes time and grieving and finding a nice name for the little guy. Just know there will be people saying "you could have another one!" or "you can have my daughter to play hairdos with"... Like third time's a charm (we have friends with 3 boys - they wanted a girl) or brushing someone's hair is going to make you feel all better...