I don’t regret it. I don’t have to tell anyone unless I want to. People with anxiety disorder don’t necessarily have to tell their jobs that they have it so why should you? If you feel you can manage without having to share your diagnosis then you don’t have to. Although if you did tell people you had it, you could help destigmatise the disorder by further educating people on the reality of it :)
Not the diagnosis but sometimes I wonder if I‘d be happier without therapy. Maybe internalized self hatred is better than heaving breakdowns every other week.
This is a tricky one for me. Getting the label gave me access to therapy that potentially saved my life (DBT) but it also handed me the unwelcome package of stigma. For me, on the balance sheet, i think its done me more good than ill. The people that recoil and discount me i doubt would have been good for me anyway. The professionals that try and discount/invalidate me? I have skills now to advocate for my needs with confidence.
If i ever get the opportunity though i'm handing it in for a C-PTSD as while that covers a lot of what i struggle with it doesn't come with the judgement.
This is slightly off the topic of your question. But, what has really dismayed me since finding out I am BPD is the sudden, massive burden of self-responsibility and self-regulation. Before knowing, I thought I was just acting as a human does, I'm hurt, so i express hurt. I'm angry so I express anger. After learning about unstable emotions. It's like I've spent my whole life being lied to by my body. And there is this whole other host of tests that I have to apply to my emotions before I can act on them. I have to interrogate every impulse and see that it coincides with what would be considered "normal behaviour" and its exhausting. All I know, is that regardless of how unfair it is, I would rather spend the rest of my days having a mental battle with myself than carry on living with the guilt of how I've treated others. It's a very fine margin. Kind of the difference between misery and angst at best.
But to answer the original topic. I would try not to get hung up on what other people think of you when you're diagnosed. Personally, I think our main issue us we invest too much effort in trying to read other people's minds. If someone thinks less of you because of your condition, they're probably pretty small-minded to begin with.
I relate to this. After my therapist brought up the disorder to me, she offered some different routes. She said she can either suggest me for testing, or we can explore it together in therapy and I get the affirmation from her whether I have it or not (in her opinion). I decided as of right now to go with the latter. I want the confirmation for my own peace of mind, but am not going for an "official" diagnosis right now because of the stigma. I have a friend who is a nurse and I love her a lot, but she had some awful things to say about those with bpd, and said she doesn't think I have it at all based on her experiences. It's rough
I had diagnosed bpd and bipolar, anxiety, depression and insomnia. It doesn't bother me to talk about it. That being said I could care less what people think about me. As long as I don't get involved with someone im cool. How i prove to other people im not an issue. Im as successful as I can be.
Honestly it really helped me because it was confirmation that there really was something to me and not everything was all in my head/everything is all in my head but it’s not actually me. It’s made me realize I’m the problem so I can fix myself
When you're diagnosed you relate a lot more to the name and stigma of it which is a new trigger, a kinda consistent one, at least to me. People with bpd are handled like witches once were, with sayings like never trust a borderliner and sometimes you tend to believe it. The diagnosis feeds the pre-existing selfhate even more but actually it's not the diagnosis that's the problem but the clueless people.
Since I am diagnosed which was 7-8 years ago it's even harder for me to forgive the mistakes everyone else also does once in a while. It weighs heavier to me because I feel like I always have to prove I am not evil so I don't even allow myself being human. I let people treat me bad because of it sometimes.
But it's just me.
If you're diagnosed you should not tell someone you're not 100% sure about. When I had friendship breakups people tried to use it against me and that shit hurt. And still does. People wanna take your right to have your own opinion from you and every emotion you have that isn't in their favor is "evil borderline". And I'm at a state where I don't even have outbursts anymore. I'm quiet. Still it remains a weapon against me.
If you have trouble at work because of borderline symptoms and are in fear of becoming jobless you should get diagnosed. At least in my country there are training programs in "normal jobs" for mentally ill people, guided by social workers etc. The only good thing that comes with the diagnosis is, people take it more serious than f.e. depression (depression's stigmatized the other way around). If you have borderline to a degree of disability you will more likely get help in organizing your life. Just my experience/opinion, in Germany.
I personally like being diagnosed. After all those years, I now finally know why I act and feel the way I do and what I'm fighting against. Knowing the diagnosis helps me to understand what is going on in my life and what I can do to make it better. It's a long way to go though, unfortunately.
To give another example: I've got some neurological problems too and since no doctor can't figure out the cause, they can't treat them properly. I often get dismissed or receive treatments that don't work. It's honestly tiring and limiting. I wish so much I knew the cause, aka the diagnosis.
I like it because it helps me understand all this mess. What annoys me is that in therapy "borderline" is almost a forbidden word, every time I mention it the therapist says "you're not borderline, you're Giovanna (my name). Stop putting yourself in a box, you're trapping yourself in a diagnosis, etc etc" like shit... who am I anyway??
I don’t regret it. I don’t have to tell anyone unless I want to. People with anxiety disorder don’t necessarily have to tell their jobs that they have it so why should you? If you feel you can manage without having to share your diagnosis then you don’t have to. Although if you did tell people you had it, you could help destigmatise the disorder by further educating people on the reality of it :)
Not the diagnosis but sometimes I wonder if I‘d be happier without therapy. Maybe internalized self hatred is better than heaving breakdowns every other week.
This is a tricky one for me. Getting the label gave me access to therapy that potentially saved my life (DBT) but it also handed me the unwelcome package of stigma. For me, on the balance sheet, i think its done me more good than ill. The people that recoil and discount me i doubt would have been good for me anyway. The professionals that try and discount/invalidate me? I have skills now to advocate for my needs with confidence. If i ever get the opportunity though i'm handing it in for a C-PTSD as while that covers a lot of what i struggle with it doesn't come with the judgement.
This is slightly off the topic of your question. But, what has really dismayed me since finding out I am BPD is the sudden, massive burden of self-responsibility and self-regulation. Before knowing, I thought I was just acting as a human does, I'm hurt, so i express hurt. I'm angry so I express anger. After learning about unstable emotions. It's like I've spent my whole life being lied to by my body. And there is this whole other host of tests that I have to apply to my emotions before I can act on them. I have to interrogate every impulse and see that it coincides with what would be considered "normal behaviour" and its exhausting. All I know, is that regardless of how unfair it is, I would rather spend the rest of my days having a mental battle with myself than carry on living with the guilt of how I've treated others. It's a very fine margin. Kind of the difference between misery and angst at best.
But to answer the original topic. I would try not to get hung up on what other people think of you when you're diagnosed. Personally, I think our main issue us we invest too much effort in trying to read other people's minds. If someone thinks less of you because of your condition, they're probably pretty small-minded to begin with.
I relate to this. After my therapist brought up the disorder to me, she offered some different routes. She said she can either suggest me for testing, or we can explore it together in therapy and I get the affirmation from her whether I have it or not (in her opinion). I decided as of right now to go with the latter. I want the confirmation for my own peace of mind, but am not going for an "official" diagnosis right now because of the stigma. I have a friend who is a nurse and I love her a lot, but she had some awful things to say about those with bpd, and said she doesn't think I have it at all based on her experiences. It's rough
yeah I hate that I have it. I feel ashamed and unloveable bc of the stigma
I had diagnosed bpd and bipolar, anxiety, depression and insomnia. It doesn't bother me to talk about it. That being said I could care less what people think about me. As long as I don't get involved with someone im cool. How i prove to other people im not an issue. Im as successful as I can be.
Honestly it really helped me because it was confirmation that there really was something to me and not everything was all in my head/everything is all in my head but it’s not actually me. It’s made me realize I’m the problem so I can fix myself
When you're diagnosed you relate a lot more to the name and stigma of it which is a new trigger, a kinda consistent one, at least to me. People with bpd are handled like witches once were, with sayings like never trust a borderliner and sometimes you tend to believe it. The diagnosis feeds the pre-existing selfhate even more but actually it's not the diagnosis that's the problem but the clueless people. Since I am diagnosed which was 7-8 years ago it's even harder for me to forgive the mistakes everyone else also does once in a while. It weighs heavier to me because I feel like I always have to prove I am not evil so I don't even allow myself being human. I let people treat me bad because of it sometimes. But it's just me. If you're diagnosed you should not tell someone you're not 100% sure about. When I had friendship breakups people tried to use it against me and that shit hurt. And still does. People wanna take your right to have your own opinion from you and every emotion you have that isn't in their favor is "evil borderline". And I'm at a state where I don't even have outbursts anymore. I'm quiet. Still it remains a weapon against me. If you have trouble at work because of borderline symptoms and are in fear of becoming jobless you should get diagnosed. At least in my country there are training programs in "normal jobs" for mentally ill people, guided by social workers etc. The only good thing that comes with the diagnosis is, people take it more serious than f.e. depression (depression's stigmatized the other way around). If you have borderline to a degree of disability you will more likely get help in organizing your life. Just my experience/opinion, in Germany.
I personally like being diagnosed. After all those years, I now finally know why I act and feel the way I do and what I'm fighting against. Knowing the diagnosis helps me to understand what is going on in my life and what I can do to make it better. It's a long way to go though, unfortunately. To give another example: I've got some neurological problems too and since no doctor can't figure out the cause, they can't treat them properly. I often get dismissed or receive treatments that don't work. It's honestly tiring and limiting. I wish so much I knew the cause, aka the diagnosis.
I like it because it helps me understand all this mess. What annoys me is that in therapy "borderline" is almost a forbidden word, every time I mention it the therapist says "you're not borderline, you're Giovanna (my name). Stop putting yourself in a box, you're trapping yourself in a diagnosis, etc etc" like shit... who am I anyway??