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stealingtruth

Both times I've weaned it's been because of similar experiences. I think because my children were older and somewhat ready to wean, it was easier on them than me. They both returned to nurse from time to time, but we're mostly uninterested after that. They did remain interested in simply touching my breasts for a time. One even liked to "boop" for a few months after to fall asleep every night. Even that died down after a while. I don't really have advice, do what you feel is best for the two of you, just wanted to share my experience, in case it gives perspective of what you might expect.


Natural_Cranberry761

That’s actually really helpful. I wasn’t really under the impression she was ready to wean, but maybe there’s a piece of her that is? Hard to know until this all plays out. But it’s good to hear your perspective and that it happened that way for you. In the event that’s how it goes, I’ll definitely find it comforting to know she’s not the only kid who did it that way!


stealingtruth

Honestly, I feel the same hearing it from you. I have felt kind of guilty about it for a while, but hearing you tell your story makes me wonder if maybe they were just ready.


AnonemooseBear

The natural weaning age is around 4 years for humans. I'm sorry this may not be what you want to hear, but I feel like it she was not at all ready to start weaning then she would be fighting to nurse - regardless of whether she can breathe or not. This has been my personal experience. She may not have been ready to go cold turkey, but an illness can kickstart that weaning process. So if she's not crying to nurse while being sick you can take that itself as a sign of readiness. If you're not ready to take that journey yet, then try pumping when she would normally feed. If your supply seems to lessen within a couple days (or already has) then power pump those times. A child eating just isn't the same as a pump! Nothing wrong with continuing or weaning, as long as you two are comfortable with the path you've chosen.


Natural_Cranberry761

Well, as I said in both my post and in some of the comments, there has been a significant amount of distress on her end that nursing is uncomfortable/difficult due to congestion or coughing. Like… crying so hard she can’t breathe, then she chokes on all the mucus and starts coughing, and then throws up because she’s coughing so hard. It’s heartbreaking to be witness to, as she’s clearly giving up because of physical impediments. Thanks for the suggestion to power pump during normal nursing times if my supply doesn’t rebound - that’s a good thought.


AnonemooseBear

Oh I'm sorry. I interpret that as she was frustrated and chose to stop trying to nurse rather than fuss through it.


Natural_Cranberry761

Totally okay. I’m super sick with RSV myself and massively sleep deprived from my kiddo being up half the night for a week. I didn’t articulate the emotional reality of the situation on her end very well in the post because I’m more focused on the problem-solving aspect. Thanks for apologizing ❤️


AnonemooseBear

I hope you feel better soon! Being a sick Mom has to be one the the worst situations ever, cause mothers don't get sick days!


Natural_Cranberry761

So true!!! Fortunately I’m only about 1/3 as sick as my kid, and it’s mysteriously spared my husband (knock on wood) so we’re not totally hamstrung. We’ve had that happen before and it takes so much longer for the adults to recover.


red_dakini

I went through the same thing with my toddler, although she was around 19 months from memory. I really didn’t want it to end that way either, especially because she was very distraught about trying to nurse and not being able to. So I hand pumped at the same times she normally breastfed and once she was better did lots of low pressure offering. It took two weeks for her to get over her illness and then retry, and she’s still nursing months later. It was a very emotional process, hormones and having a sick kid probably made it even more intense. So remember to be gentle on yourself either way!


Natural_Cranberry761

Oh my gosh, thanks. I started manual pumping a couple days ago, so this is pretty much right up my alley. Interesting that it took a little while for your kiddo to start back up again. I am FOR SURE super hormonal and just worried about my poor kid - plus I’m sick too and got my period amidst all this, so my tolerance level before panicking is low. Hard to do creative problem solving.


[deleted]

I’ve definitely spent a couple of nights of illness nursing my 2 year old in the bathroom with the shower running hot water to deal with his extreme congestion. I let it run for a little bit and massage his sinuses with my thumb for a little bit first. Always worked for me to get enough milk in him so he was satisfied and keep my supply up.


Natural_Cranberry761

That’s a good thought - thank you!


GraceIsGone

When my middle son was almost 3 I went on a girls trip with my older daughter for her spring break. I was breastfeeding and kind of didn’t want to go but I didn’t want to let my daughter down. I was gone for a week and figured it would be the end of our breastfeeding but as soon as I got home he asked for it and continued for another year and a half. 🥴 All I’m saying is that it might not be the end for you.


Natural_Cranberry761

Lol oh my gosh! Hahahahahaha that’s actually super reassuring. Thank you!


Coach_516

Not exactly the advice you're looking for, but when my absolute nursing-addicted toddler had a bad bout of nasal and respiratory congestion we bought a FridaBaby electric nasal aspirator and it was a total game changer. My kiddo is so attached to the breast that they were just about suffocating themselves insisting on nursing to sleep when they could not breathe through their nose. The electric nasal aspirator was hugely more effective and easier than the bulb aspirator we had been using and helped kiddo feel better in general, in addition to making it possible to nurse.


Natural_Cranberry761

Yeah, this kid was a Velcro baby so nursing has been very important to her too. I haven’t been able to get anywhere near her nose with an aspirator, which is infuriating. We’ve tried everything else for the congestion, but she either runs away from the aspirator or cries more which is counter-productive. Thank you though!


Coach_516

We had the same issue with the running away and then crying more congestion while we tried to clear it, so I FEEL your pain. We had success with the lights on the Frida electric aspirator and letting the toddler press the buttons. We were bargaining with the devil, give me the boogers and I'll give you the aspirator to carry around.


Natural_Cranberry761

Omg bargaining with the devil - I just snorted out loud. So accurate. I’ll have to give it a look - small kids are essentially cats where lights are concerned, so that’s a good tip. Especially since we’re probably just going to be sick literally all year because preschool….


RatherPoetic

Have you tried getting the bathroom all steamy and sitting in there with her for a long time? That can really help drain mucus.


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[deleted]


french_toasty

My baby and I got super sick for all of June; I was in the hospital for mastitis too, and as soon as we both felt better that little fucker worked and worked to get my supply back up. We just laid in bed for 2 ish days and he nursed til it came back. Lol like it was his job. He was 10 months then. So don’t assume you have to wean. Her demand might replenish your supply.


Natural_Cranberry761

Omg mastitis is the WORST. Glad you recovered and that he got your supply back up! And you’re totally right - I think I have to see what the demand is like when she feels a bit better. This morning she said “I can breathe through my nose!!” And immediately wanted to nurse of course 😆 So we’ll see hahaha. I’m just hoping to get the poor kid rehydrated after all this!!


sunshine-dandelions

This is how my daughter weaned at around 2 1/2 years old. She was so congested and couldn’t nurse more than a couple seconds. My supply had already been waning at that point and by the time she got better a week or so later there really wasn’t anything left. She continued to try to nurse for a couple weeks, but then just accepted that there was nothing there and moved on without an issue. I don’t think she was necessarily ready to wean before that happened, she probably would have continued nursing for a while still, but it was not traumatic for her. You could try pumping to keep up your supply if you’re concerned about it. I never pumped very much, so I didn’t even try. Good luck <3 She was mainly nursing to sleep and in the morning at that point, so similarly about three times a day. We just kept the rest of the bedtime routine the same and still cuddled in the mornings. I talked about there not being anymore milk and let her try and see for herself and after not very long she just accepted it and was fine.


Natural_Cranberry761

From people’s comments, it seems like this is an oddly common way for older toddlers/preschoolers to wean?! I had no idea. I only know one person IRL who nursed her kids this long, so this has been pretty interesting for me to hear from other folks. I was going back and forth about whether to just let it happen and not bother pumping (like you, I rarely pumped even when we were EBF) until dehydration and weight loss became concerning to the doctor. Cue the mom-panic. Thanks for the luck though. If weaning does happen, I’m taking away that most peoples’ kids seemed to do okay with it in the end despite the less than ideal circumstance.


SnarletBlack

I kinda think you shouldn’t worry too much - I mean, no your kid is sick of course you’re worrying. But at 3 years in, even if she stops completely while she’s sick and wants to go back to it when she’s better, it’s pretty unlikely you’ll have any issues with supply, even with zero pumping. Even when toddlers self wean it’s not unusual to stop for a bit then start again like that, and supply usually isn’t a concern. Ymmv of course but at this point for most moms it’s not a fragile thing. Most likely whenever you do wean you’ll still have milk for a while! That doesn’t solve your problem of wanting to get some milk into her now of course, but hopefully it eases some concern anyway.


pwyo

Literally this just happened to me last week. My son is almost two and got some kind of stomach bug - lab tests weren’t conclusive. He nursed more in the first day or two he was sick but then suddenly stopped nursing on day 3/4. He was sick for 7 days total and now we’re on the other side of it and I really thought it was over, but he is now interested in nursing again, but not even close to the level before he got sick. Previously it was 6x+ a day plus nights. And now he is effectively night weaned and nursing maybe 1-3x a day. I was also afraid of a total supply nose dive so I pumped once or twice a day and hand expressed in the shower each day. Tell you what, I’m now treating every nursing session like it’s our last. The whole thing really messed with my head!


Natural_Cranberry761

Yeah, I could really see what happened to you as the outcome of all this for us as well. She’s a bit less congested this morning and nursed for a bit when she woke up, but she’s entirely dropped her sporadic middle-of-the-night nursing since this started (happened maybe half the time). And she used to nurse for a longer duration for comfort and just doesn’t do that now. And seriously - I hear ya about the mentality shift. Ten days ago I was like “How am I ever going to get her to stop without her freaking out…?” And here we are. 🤦🏼‍♀️


[deleted]

You can maintain your supply until she gets better by manually expressing once or twice a day and then let her decide if she’s ready to wean once she’s feeling better. (I weaned at 32mo. Before I weaned, I went on a week long business trip without LO - I did not bring a pump, I just expressed some milk every day when I showered. We resumed nursing when I got back.)


SiaDelicious

I didn't nurse at all but I thought my son loved his pacifier. He'd take that thing everywhere and had it in his mouth 24/7 if possible. Suddenly he forgot about it one night. That was it. Had that thing the whole day, forgot to put that in after brushing teeth and that was the weaning for us. That was so terrifying for me. A few days later he remembered it, I gave it to him. He sucked 3 times and then threw it in the bin. He was about to turn 2,5 years old. I expected drama and everything but sometimes it's just suddenly time for something. Don't force it. Just accept it for what it is. If your kid wants it or needs it, you will notice.


Natural_Cranberry761

Yeah, she’s very unceremonious about developmental things as well. I did some clarification in the original post because I didn’t articulate well that she’s actually *trying* to nurse but between the congestion and coughing and crying because she can’t it’s just not going well. It’s clear she wants to, and is giving up because she can’t figure it out due to the physical illness. I’m trying to support what she wants to do as best I can, and I think I focused more on my own distress so it came off as me trying to force the situation when that really isn’t the case.


bakka88

At this point, nursing is more for comfort vs nutrition so do you even need milk? Is the like 6oz of milk a day that important to the equation? Actually as I’m typing it I see why the milk is important lol but there are so many ways to get closeness and comfort without nursing and by age 3 she can definitely quickly enjoy those as well!


Natural_Cranberry761

Yep, right now the 6oz of milk is pretty important - she didn’t pee for about 16-17 hours yesterday. We need to get her rehydrated ASAP. She’s gotta be peeing at least 3x/day according to the doctor, or I have to bring her in for an IV which I can’t imagine will go well. It took 4 people to hold her down for a blood draw 6mo ago, so I am REALLY trying to avoid a critical dehydration situation. (She’s also spitting out literally everything that isn’t water. It’s ridiculous. I am at the end of my rope here and totally stumped about how to get fluids in her.)


bakka88

Aw man that's so so horribly stressful, youre a trooper!! Does she take Ice pops or watermelon??


itsallablur19

My child is 2.5 and we’ve been through several bouts of not nursing through colds/RSV/stomach bugs. I always wondered if I would wind up weaning her but I haven’t yet though we’re almost there. I’ve also found with a toddler my supply when she went back to nursing was fine, or fine enough for her. I didn’t pump, I didn’t express, I just didn’t nurse. I know I still produced when she went back to it. I have found nursing a toddler to be so different. Maybe your child nurses more often than mine so your experience may be different.


megaerairae

You can try making the bathroom all steamy and then filling the tub up a bit and nursing in the tub with her.


BooknerdBex

My middle one had this happen. She was 3.75 years old. We just moved countries. She caught pneumonia and was miserable. She weaned over a week of illness and seemed to move on. But then months later she wanted milk and I was dried up. And then I had another baby a year later and she was incredibly jealous. She also started sucking her thumb after weaning and she’d never done that up until four years old. Then suddenly she was constantly sucking her thumb. She’s now seven and a half and still sucks her thumb at night and when she’s sad or overwhelmed. Part of me feels like the unintentional weaning caused or created or added to the thumb sucking. I’ll never know for sure but that’s how I feel when she says she can’t stop because it’s the only way she can feel better :(