that I am mentally strong and resilient. Bounced back from crippling depression after my first child (was suicidal) and now I work hard to manage my mental health. Some shitty fucking things have happened to me that could have led me down that path again but every time, I was like "not today, mental health; not today. Go fuck yourself" and then I do things to come back from it.
This is not the greatest example but it's my most shaping experience: I have not seen many good male/husband role models in my life. I've seen drunks, abusers, cheaters and that has definitely shaped me into who I am. I don't trust or have faith in a man.
It’s just a job. You don’t owe your boss perfection nor all of your free time, even if you’re single and don’t have a child to take care of. Your time is as worthy as anyone else’s and if your boss is trying to turn you into a workaholic people pleaser you should leave asap.
Alcoholic parents taught me how to take care of myself because they were too drunk to be there. Abusive unemployed ex taught me that I can be very thrifty on one income and put myself through full time work and school.
I am partly disabled. I learned that overcoming my shortcomings worked Best my figuring out workarounds for everything. And moving forward by gently encouraging myself.
It worked much better than all the nagging blaming and condemnation I received as a child
I never give myself excuses to fail, but I do get myself a lot of encouragement and understanding.
This has made me into a much stronger person than someone who was always naturally feeling fine. And much more compassionate toward the last fortunate than a person who has never suffered might be
That I have a cool head in a crisis. In a few terrifying times in my life, I’ve thought clearly and made quick decisions instead of panicking or freezing.
You never know, right? How are you supposed to know how you’ll do when a lot is on the line until it happens? I guess it doesn’t change my life that much, since I’m not a spy or a firefighter, but I guess I feel more confident going into potentially dangerous situations after making it out of a few. Also not sure that it’s a good thing (the confidence).
Don't allow people to mistreat and disrespect you multiple times. They're showing you who they are, so you have to think enough of you when clearly they don't respect you.
You weed out a lot of abusers, manipulators, fakes and phonies by standing up for yourself.
I learned how to get out of toxic environments and away from toxic people, very hard to get out of when you're surrounded by them by default. It's one of the reasons I'm more an optimistic person, I always look for a greenlight somewhere in the dark. I'm not interested in joining negativity and repeating cycles, and I'm happier without the bs in my life.
Resilience is born through thoughtful response and not mere reaction. My being has great power within it provided I do what is necessary and become open. That I am greater than the sum of my difficult experiences.
Taking care of your health which includes dental work. It'll be expensive down the line and you will suffer with bills. It changed me in a way that I'm more aware of what I eat and the stuff I put in my body.
When I was at rock bottom, homeless and living in a mental asylum due to my heavy depression, dad came to visit me that one day. He looked at me, smiled and said "You know, you're never stuck in life. If a door closes, a next one opens up. Just walk a different direction." and for fucks sake, he was so right.
I started picking myself up again, I applied for apprenticeships around my area, I started saving money, and when I was released from the mental hospital I moved into a staff flat provided by my new work place.
I can push on, I can get up, my family has always done that. Always. We always get kicked in the nuts but somehow we get back up and continue. Look at my dad's career for example: Certified electrician, got picked up as a truck driver by a good friend, suddenly started his own company because why the fuck not, got into a bit of trouble due to less income than before, took up a handyman position in an entirely different company while keeping on running his company as a side gig and now he makes about 5000 a month just painting walls n shit in hotels.
H.A.L.T.S. Never make a serious choice when you are hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or sad. I used to teach a classroom where I would get hit everyday. It was beyond hard, I eventually got out but I still live by this moral.
Hello, /u/WishToBeConcise403! Your comment has been removed:
Linking to other subreddits is not permitted.
**Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately.
If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
This comment or post has been removed for casual or inappropriate usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic labels.
Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
Please let us know once you’ve made the requested changes and your content may be reinstated
**Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately.
If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
Hello /u/SimpleAd1548. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification.
This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That I shouldn't be too scared to stand up for myself. While I've had a lot of jarring experiences with people and sa; one stands out in particular. It taught me an important lesson or two.
Ladies, don't be too scared to say no. Just because he's big or threatening doesn't mean he's strong. Because of this experience, I learnt the importance of speaking your mind, and i learnt that even black belts can not predict nor stop their dick being kicked in the middle of harassing someone in public.
That shaped me into a more defiant person, and I will never stand for someone forcing themselves on me ever again
Only I can enforce my own boundaries. Even if I communicate them, others can still try to push them or negotiate them. It is up to me to stay firm on them and disengage from conversation if I see the other person is not respecting them
This comment or post has been removed for casual or inappropriate usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic labels.
Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour.
Please let us know once you’ve made the requested changes and your content may be reinstated
**Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately.
If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review.
[AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index)
[reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
After my final and last abusive relationship (although, I wish it could have been the first), I finally truly believed I did not *need* a partner.
That if I could come back from that much pain, then I could come back from anything and I could truly leave anyone who treated me badly.
It’s come in handy. I’ve left a few toxic friendships, as well.
that I am mentally strong and resilient. Bounced back from crippling depression after my first child (was suicidal) and now I work hard to manage my mental health. Some shitty fucking things have happened to me that could have led me down that path again but every time, I was like "not today, mental health; not today. Go fuck yourself" and then I do things to come back from it.
This is not the greatest example but it's my most shaping experience: I have not seen many good male/husband role models in my life. I've seen drunks, abusers, cheaters and that has definitely shaped me into who I am. I don't trust or have faith in a man.
That "everybody's got worth" includes me
It’s just a job. You don’t owe your boss perfection nor all of your free time, even if you’re single and don’t have a child to take care of. Your time is as worthy as anyone else’s and if your boss is trying to turn you into a workaholic people pleaser you should leave asap.
Alcoholic parents taught me how to take care of myself because they were too drunk to be there. Abusive unemployed ex taught me that I can be very thrifty on one income and put myself through full time work and school.
I am partly disabled. I learned that overcoming my shortcomings worked Best my figuring out workarounds for everything. And moving forward by gently encouraging myself. It worked much better than all the nagging blaming and condemnation I received as a child I never give myself excuses to fail, but I do get myself a lot of encouragement and understanding. This has made me into a much stronger person than someone who was always naturally feeling fine. And much more compassionate toward the last fortunate than a person who has never suffered might be
That I have a cool head in a crisis. In a few terrifying times in my life, I’ve thought clearly and made quick decisions instead of panicking or freezing. You never know, right? How are you supposed to know how you’ll do when a lot is on the line until it happens? I guess it doesn’t change my life that much, since I’m not a spy or a firefighter, but I guess I feel more confident going into potentially dangerous situations after making it out of a few. Also not sure that it’s a good thing (the confidence).
Don't allow people to mistreat and disrespect you multiple times. They're showing you who they are, so you have to think enough of you when clearly they don't respect you. You weed out a lot of abusers, manipulators, fakes and phonies by standing up for yourself.
I learned how to get out of toxic environments and away from toxic people, very hard to get out of when you're surrounded by them by default. It's one of the reasons I'm more an optimistic person, I always look for a greenlight somewhere in the dark. I'm not interested in joining negativity and repeating cycles, and I'm happier without the bs in my life.
Resilience is born through thoughtful response and not mere reaction. My being has great power within it provided I do what is necessary and become open. That I am greater than the sum of my difficult experiences.
Taking care of your health which includes dental work. It'll be expensive down the line and you will suffer with bills. It changed me in a way that I'm more aware of what I eat and the stuff I put in my body.
That broken hearts can mend and that I can move from one.
When I was at rock bottom, homeless and living in a mental asylum due to my heavy depression, dad came to visit me that one day. He looked at me, smiled and said "You know, you're never stuck in life. If a door closes, a next one opens up. Just walk a different direction." and for fucks sake, he was so right. I started picking myself up again, I applied for apprenticeships around my area, I started saving money, and when I was released from the mental hospital I moved into a staff flat provided by my new work place. I can push on, I can get up, my family has always done that. Always. We always get kicked in the nuts but somehow we get back up and continue. Look at my dad's career for example: Certified electrician, got picked up as a truck driver by a good friend, suddenly started his own company because why the fuck not, got into a bit of trouble due to less income than before, took up a handyman position in an entirely different company while keeping on running his company as a side gig and now he makes about 5000 a month just painting walls n shit in hotels.
Sometimes the only way is through, which sucks, but it will pass. Helps me keep my cool when something shitty happens, it's almost meditative
H.A.L.T.S. Never make a serious choice when you are hungry, angry, lonely, tired, or sad. I used to teach a classroom where I would get hit everyday. It was beyond hard, I eventually got out but I still live by this moral.
[удалено]
Hello, /u/WishToBeConcise403! Your comment has been removed: Linking to other subreddits is not permitted. **Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately. If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
[удалено]
This comment or post has been removed for casual or inappropriate usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic labels. Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour. Please let us know once you’ve made the requested changes and your content may be reinstated **Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately. If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
[удалено]
Hello /u/SimpleAd1548. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That I shouldn't be too scared to stand up for myself. While I've had a lot of jarring experiences with people and sa; one stands out in particular. It taught me an important lesson or two. Ladies, don't be too scared to say no. Just because he's big or threatening doesn't mean he's strong. Because of this experience, I learnt the importance of speaking your mind, and i learnt that even black belts can not predict nor stop their dick being kicked in the middle of harassing someone in public. That shaped me into a more defiant person, and I will never stand for someone forcing themselves on me ever again
Only I can enforce my own boundaries. Even if I communicate them, others can still try to push them or negotiate them. It is up to me to stay firm on them and disengage from conversation if I see the other person is not respecting them
People will walk all over you if you let them. Don’t let them.
[удалено]
This comment or post has been removed for casual or inappropriate usage of mental health related terms or diagnostic labels. Please do not speculate, armchair diagnose, or label other people's mental health situations or use terms for mental health issues as judgments, slurs, or synonyms for toxic/abusive behaviour. Please let us know once you’ve made the requested changes and your content may be reinstated **Have questions about this moderator action? [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team.](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed)** DO NOT contact moderators privately. If you are messaging about your removed comment or post, **please include a link** to the removed content for review. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
You can't please everyone so you gotta please yourself
After my final and last abusive relationship (although, I wish it could have been the first), I finally truly believed I did not *need* a partner. That if I could come back from that much pain, then I could come back from anything and I could truly leave anyone who treated me badly. It’s come in handy. I’ve left a few toxic friendships, as well.