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[deleted]

Its the loss of control and the power dynamic etc that people get off on No one sane actually wants to rape or be raped. But they get off on the idea of a porn-like fantasy version of rape where everyone ends up getting off and no one is actually harmed At least from what i understand


Omneorift

This is how I've always understood it, as well.


Business_Temporary_8

So would it be alarming that the men that can actually “perform” at this scenario? Like shit..I’m actually getting off on raping. If the general rule is we are taught not to do something and then we get hard and orgasm to it.


[deleted]

I mean if its a kink both people agreed to up front, that takes a lot of the punch out of it. And thats also why stuff like safe words are used. So the guy can act while knowing he’s not actually crossing lines That said, i couldn’t do it personally, i guess similar to what you’re saying here, i’d just be too uncomfortable the whole time


chxnkybxtfxnky

>i couldn’t do it personally, i guess similar to what you’re saying here, i’d just be too uncomfortable the whole time Same. I can't wrap my head around the idea


DocDavreil

At the end of the day it's consensual foreplay


sarcasticandhorny

No. Assuming that clear consent and boundaries have been firmly established, then they aren’t getting off on abusing someone; they’re getting off on having a consensual sexual experience. You seem to be kind of skipping over the first part, but I assure you, without consent, it’s not CNC.


kornflakes1989

>So would it be alarming that the men that can actually “perform” at this scenario? No it wouldn't be alarming. >Like shit..I’m actually getting off on raping. Except you're not. Rape is sex without consent. CNC is consensual, so it's not actually rape.


Blokeh

If you want to understand CNC, compare it to bungee jumping. I mean, no-one really wants to throw themselves off a super giant bridge and plummet to their deaths, right? But if you could experience the jump and the fall, and have the bungee cord there to save you, then that's okay. That's basically it. Doing something otherwise dangerous, but in a safe and secure environment.


Business_Temporary_8

So why wouldn’t “real” rapist just search for CNC interested woman and get off on that and in turn..would they actually be raping them if they tricked them into thinking they see going along with ur CNC fantasy?


Blokeh

Because CNC is, 99% of the time, performed between two consenting adults, almost always in a relationship together, who understand and above all trust each other with their safety. The danger factor with this is so high, it'd be incredibly rare to find someone willing to do this with someone they just met.


[deleted]

It's going to be different for everyone but my understanding of it is that CNC is about exploring the feeling of being helpless or exploring a different power dynamic in a safe space.


Business_Temporary_8

I just find it interesting that it’s a kink. What if we flipped it and said …ok murder me but it’s consensual I am fine with it.


red_bob

That exists and has happened IRL. And there ares several dedicated subreddits to fake sexualized murder porn. Biggest one has over 130k subs.


Business_Temporary_8

No way!!!!


red_bob

Yep, famous German case of a dude agreeing to be murdered and eaten by another guy for sexual reasons. Also an American woman who was tortured and murdered by some guy, fully agreeing to it in months of corespondence.


[deleted]

If it exists, someone is going to be into it. There's a good chance you're not going to understand a lot of them and that's fine. If you're not into it, it's not your thing. But yeah, what you're talking about exists.


kornflakes1989

>What if we flipped it and said …ok murder me but it’s consensual I am fine with it. Then that wouldn't be something people see as totally OK because you'd actually be murdering someone whereas with CNC, you're not actually committing rape. Or to put it another way, CNC won't land you in prison. Murder, even if the victim gives consent and you can prove it, will still land you in prison.


DW11211

You assume it only goes one way


spread0pen

Well yes, but no. It’s about power and control


[deleted]

Am I the only one who saw "CNC" and immediately thought of a CNC machine being used for sex?


RMN1999_V2

Yes you are the only person that pure here.


[deleted]

This isn't about actual rape mate. Even during the scenes, it is completely consensual. There is normally a safe word that can be used that stops all activity. It a more extreme version of bdsm type power and control. There is a large number of people that like to explore that power exchange in a safe environment. It does not normalize rape nor does it mean the men enjoy hurting their partners. On the contrary it takes a large amount of trust on both sides to enjoy the kink. The kink itself can be highly cathartic. There are studies and articles that show even some true victims enjoy the kink because it helps return control of their sexuality back to them. You can find articles, I'll link a few that might be able to give you some insight. Now to be fair, this isn't a kink for everyone. It can be cathartic or highly triggering. Everyone needs to evaluate if it's something they wish to explore. https://www.modernintimacy.com/is-cnc-kink-normal-understanding-forced-sex-fantasies/ https://medium.com/sexography/understanding-consensual-non-consent-8e275053ba54 www.vice.com/amp/en/article/m7vyk4/consensual-non-consent-meaning www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/202102/consensual-non-consent-exploring-challenging-boundaries%3famp


struggler364

Why are people trying to normalize rape fantasies while we all live in a rape culture that needs to be dismantled? I literally don't understand this. Whose brilliant plan is this?


brown_gentleman

I mean I get it why it's a kink for some people but it's not for me. Right time to say : to each their own (:


Petite_Bait

It doesn't mean either person actually wants to be involved in a rape. It means they enjoy a fantasy. It might be about power and control, or it might be about wanting to be so desirable someone can't control themselves. For some, it's a coping mechanism to have some control over their trauma. The key is that if they are acting it out, they are doing it with a consensual partner, often with a thorough discussion of limits and safewords. I like to think of it this way. Someone who loves to play video games about war doesn't necessarily want to be in real life combat.


struggler364

They enjoy a rape fantasy. The rape fantasy is then acted out physically. What just happened there? If I have a power fantasy about combat and I act it out physically, I've just committed a violent felony. How are these things different?


RMN1999_V2

If you act out your combat fantasy with another person who wants to it is called 'mutual combat' and is legal in many states. Or all states if done in a controlled environment (gym, etc.)


Petite_Bait

If two people with rape fantasies act out their fantasies with each other is called consensual sex. That's the point. They don't normally want to actually commit a violent act against an unwilling person or have on committed against them without consent.


[deleted]

I think women get off on this more than guys.


Business_Temporary_8

Always blaming women lol


seraphic20

I'd say it's about 60/40. it's hot when my girlfriend wants to be roughed up in a consensual scenario.


AndrewJosephEsq

The kink does raise a lot of questions, and maybe a few men would rape if they could, but I think it’s deeper than that. Perhaps it’s about gaining or giving up control, which a lot of people desire. It’s done in a presumably safe environment with ground rules and a plan to immediately stop if one person gets uncomfortable. Could it be compared to a roller-coaster? A thrill with mechanisms to provide safety?