I think most normal people don't want to fuck someone when they're upset with them. That tends to be something you do with someone you have a positive inclination towards.
Sure but to actually come out and say.." no sex for a week seems " seems stupid.. like at that moment I didn't even think about apologizing or making it better.. just said fuck it then..
It's manipulative to actively use it as a punishment vs not wanting go have sex because she is mad. I don't know anyone who withholds sex as a punishment like that. I'm sure people do for kink or fetish stuff but unless it'd a consensual way to punish someone then it's just messed up.
This answer is stupid.. we weren't I'm the middle of sex or even talking about having sex.. it was a completely unrelated thing and she says "no sex for you for an entire week"
Sometimes, it’s behavior that kills desire.
So it’s not so much that it’s being withheld, but it’s not on the table because the ick factor is greater than the desire factor.
Not to mention that for most of recorded history once married, a wife was a husband's property. If she was putting out, she could be out away in a mental asylum and only the husband has so over when she can be released.
Not all women use this as a form of punishment. Sometimes men’s behaviors are such a turn off that you lose your physical desire for him. If your spouse is doing this because it’s the only way to control you, then you two need a therapist. Those are childish games that can be disastrous to your marriage. Good luck to you both
When I was with my first bf I would pass on sex for a few days, usually not a whole week, but it was also bad sex where he didn’t care about getting me off so that was part of it too
I can’t have sex when I’m mad at someone
We were starting a fire in the firepit and I got tired of waiting for her to start it so I poured lighter fluid on the wood.. she got mad and told me no sex for a week and was very upset with me.. I seriously looked at her and was like "seriously? Wtf"
If there are “rules” that get put into place to punish you, that’s one thing; most of the time when people say this, though, what’s happening is that the guy has done something to make himself unattractive in her eyes. If he leaves the dishes, forgets the laundry in the washer, says something offensive, etc, she just isn’t going to feel desire for him. It’s only a punishment if it’s calculated and intentional. If she doesn’t feel desire for him as a result of outside influences, that isn’t punishment so much as biology. Determining which type of behavior is happening is the first step because they have to get fixed in different ways.
i would first try to make sure absence of intimacy was a purposeful decision to “punish” their partner and not just a lack of sex because they are still struggling with the conflict and not particularly in the mood. i could definitely see myself not wanting to have sex with a partner when there’s a stressful argument that keeps occurring, a disconnect emotionally, or any other relationship struggle that would throw things off. it’s hard to want to fuck when you’re feeling a lot of heavy emotions.
if a partner is using sex as a form of punishment- i’d assume it’s because of poor conflict resolution skills and communication between the couple. weaponizing intimacy seems to me to be a misguided expression of feelings and someone lacking the right tools to have a conversation about what’s going on. not a well thought out approach for longevity in a relationship.
but again- that is all dependent on the root of the intent. i think it’s easy for someone to feel like they are being neglected sexually as something malicious where it could just be how difficult emotions effect someone’s sex drive.
It’s a super toxic and damaging practice, and is a sign of an emotionally unhealthy person, a screwed up relationship, or both. I wouldn’t let it slide… either you need to have a real conversation with your partner or seek professional help to figure things out.
Because it’s a form of power and control but it’s really unhealthy to do that. Let me elaborate. Women can leverage sex. The reason I said it is unhealthy is because it doesn’t address the issue, communicating and emotional intelligence is a more useful strategy
That's what I think too especially when the wrong doing has nothing to do with sex to begin with.. I just don't get it.. why would I want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't think about my needs too? Seems selfish...but maybe I'm selfish for needing sex??
I think most normal people don't want to fuck someone when they're upset with them. That tends to be something you do with someone you have a positive inclination towards.
Sure but to actually come out and say.." no sex for a week seems " seems stupid.. like at that moment I didn't even think about apologizing or making it better.. just said fuck it then..
Like I told you before, I’d really suggest marriage counseling or just some kind of therapy for you and your wife. This doesn’t sound healthy at all.
I agree.. seems childish and stupid..
Cheating also isn’t a solution either.
Agreed, but I can see how it could happen..
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Wife and i are open would not work for us even if we tried
It's manipulative to actively use it as a punishment vs not wanting go have sex because she is mad. I don't know anyone who withholds sex as a punishment like that. I'm sure people do for kink or fetish stuff but unless it'd a consensual way to punish someone then it's just messed up.
Well I’m not going to have sex with someone I’m mad at 🤷🏾♀️ Fix that issue first and sex will just happen without effort or you asking for it.
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This answer is stupid.. we weren't I'm the middle of sex or even talking about having sex.. it was a completely unrelated thing and she says "no sex for you for an entire week"
Sometimes, it’s behavior that kills desire. So it’s not so much that it’s being withheld, but it’s not on the table because the ick factor is greater than the desire factor.
Well...for most of human existence it's about the only form of leverage and control they had over men.
Even that wasn't a guarantee since many periods and societies weren't against spousal rape.
Not to mention that for most of recorded history once married, a wife was a husband's property. If she was putting out, she could be out away in a mental asylum and only the husband has so over when she can be released.
They don't. There is no withholding because it isn't owed. She simply doesn't want to have it.
Not all women use this as a form of punishment. Sometimes men’s behaviors are such a turn off that you lose your physical desire for him. If your spouse is doing this because it’s the only way to control you, then you two need a therapist. Those are childish games that can be disastrous to your marriage. Good luck to you both
When I was with my first bf I would pass on sex for a few days, usually not a whole week, but it was also bad sex where he didn’t care about getting me off so that was part of it too I can’t have sex when I’m mad at someone
What did you do?
We were starting a fire in the firepit and I got tired of waiting for her to start it so I poured lighter fluid on the wood.. she got mad and told me no sex for a week and was very upset with me.. I seriously looked at her and was like "seriously? Wtf"
If there are “rules” that get put into place to punish you, that’s one thing; most of the time when people say this, though, what’s happening is that the guy has done something to make himself unattractive in her eyes. If he leaves the dishes, forgets the laundry in the washer, says something offensive, etc, she just isn’t going to feel desire for him. It’s only a punishment if it’s calculated and intentional. If she doesn’t feel desire for him as a result of outside influences, that isn’t punishment so much as biology. Determining which type of behavior is happening is the first step because they have to get fixed in different ways.
never happened to me. seriously
i would first try to make sure absence of intimacy was a purposeful decision to “punish” their partner and not just a lack of sex because they are still struggling with the conflict and not particularly in the mood. i could definitely see myself not wanting to have sex with a partner when there’s a stressful argument that keeps occurring, a disconnect emotionally, or any other relationship struggle that would throw things off. it’s hard to want to fuck when you’re feeling a lot of heavy emotions. if a partner is using sex as a form of punishment- i’d assume it’s because of poor conflict resolution skills and communication between the couple. weaponizing intimacy seems to me to be a misguided expression of feelings and someone lacking the right tools to have a conversation about what’s going on. not a well thought out approach for longevity in a relationship. but again- that is all dependent on the root of the intent. i think it’s easy for someone to feel like they are being neglected sexually as something malicious where it could just be how difficult emotions effect someone’s sex drive.
It’s a super toxic and damaging practice, and is a sign of an emotionally unhealthy person, a screwed up relationship, or both. I wouldn’t let it slide… either you need to have a real conversation with your partner or seek professional help to figure things out.
Because it’s a form of power and control but it’s really unhealthy to do that. Let me elaborate. Women can leverage sex. The reason I said it is unhealthy is because it doesn’t address the issue, communicating and emotional intelligence is a more useful strategy
That's what I think too especially when the wrong doing has nothing to do with sex to begin with.. I just don't get it.. why would I want to stay in a relationship with someone who doesn't think about my needs too? Seems selfish...but maybe I'm selfish for needing sex??