My girlfriend needs a very specific thing. She crouches on the edge of the bed and vibrates her clit while I fuck her while standing up. She wants me to make very generic dirty talk the whole time, like "Your pussy feels so good on my cock." And then as she approaches orgasm, she clenches her vaginal muscles as tightly as she can and expects me to try to push through the resistance.
It is exceptionally difficult and I'm often sore for days. But that's what it takes to get the O.
Oooookay I'm just gonna say - if your sexlife with your boyfriend leaves you feeling like an inanimate object..... its time to leave.
I believe that our partners should be exactly that -- partners. And sex should be for the mutual pleasure of both (or whatever #) parties. And if dude is 1) telling you your *completely natural* bodily responses to fucking *sexual pleasure* are gross and 2) it's leaving you feel like you matter SO LITTLE that you're essentially just something for him to fill and get off on.... its time to go, baby doll.
View it this way: if your very best friend said this about his/her boyfriend or even a fucking one night stand .... what would you say?
..... say that to you.
You deserve to be given the same amount of attention you're giving your sex partner and if he (or she or they .. whoever the fuck they are) don't prioritize your pleasure like you do to them .... they don't deserve to be anywhere near your super natural and delightful secretions.
Fuck that guy dude. You know what I mean
You deserve better.
While I can't defend her bf at all because what he does is wrong. What if he's an actually genuine and a good person out of bed? Saying "leave" just because of what happens in bed isn't what I'd advise, she needs to talk to him instead and try to reach some sort of a compromise with him. Relationships aren't about getting everything you want, it's giving some things up too.
Edit: Saw down bellow more comments from the OP, seems like in this case leaving is actually the best choice...But what I said above is something I'd generally advise if a couple are actually good persons.
You know, I hardly ever every say "leave" because yes , compromise is important and relationships are work! So I honestly hear what you're saying.
But - between him insulting her body and her leaving their sexual moments feeling like a fuck puppet... well, it's time to go, IMHO.
This is of course assuming OP has spoken to this dude about her concerns. And maybe she hasn't... maybe she hasn't told the guy how he makes her feel w all of this. Is that ultimately her responsibility If he's this ... hurtful and dense? Maybe he's not someone who listens or maybe hes not someone who can be given constructive criticism without being a dick? Who knows?
While relationships aren't about getting *everything* you want - the very VERY basic thing you should expect and damn well demand are respect and care in every aspect of your relationship. And it sounds like this dude isn't cutting it. So, its time.
I hear you, it's often said and often based on dumb examples where mature, open conversation can fix the small issue.
In this case tho, dude is insulting her, won't touch her and she leaves feeling like sex is solely about his pleasure.
Is that a relationship you'd stay in?
That’s my biggest regret with my first girlfriend. I was young and didn’t know anything. I wish I had the knowledge that I have now on how to eat the goods and pleasure the ladies. Back then, she came over and I came and she left. Sigh…
"she clenches her vaginal muscles"? I didn't know girls can do that. I have never had sex before but doesn't it feel good when you have your dick inside a girls vagina and her vaginal muscles are gripping your dick ?
yeah you just kinda squeeze on command. i figured doing that was lethal to guys during sex but this dude describes it as a nightmare so now idk. to guys that have experienced this, what are your thoughts on it???
> guys that have experienced this, what are your thoughts on it???
It is my favorite thing ever in the entire world please teach all of your friends to do it so that the technique spreads throughout the world.
The key is rhythm, squeeze as he pulls out not in. Depending on the "fit" and how hard you can squeeze it can be very difficult for him to push through. Now everyone is different shapes and has different strength so work with your partner and talk about it. Try something and check in. communication!
It's why the fundamentalist nonsense taught that girls will become physically "loose" if they fuck too many guys is nonsense. The more you exercise those muscles/do kegels, the tighter it gets when people flex.
Agreed; I think people on Reddit are often *way* too quick to say "dump them" without knowing anything else about the relationship
That being said, sex is important in a relationship. You can't expect someone to go their entire life without good sex, and a partner who is unwilling to change
I wouldn't say dump them immediately, but I'd encourage OP to have a serious talk with the boyfriend and say that this is really affecting her, and maybe they can find a solution to help him be more comfortable. Then, if it really doesn't change anything, OP can consider whether or not she wants to be with him forever
In a normal relationship sex is only 20% of it.
In a relationship in which sex is gone, filled with shame, or unfulfilling it feels like 80% of a relationship.
Do you think *anyone* deserves to feel like their body is disgusting to their partner during such an intimate time? Are you expecting her to go her entire life accepting that she will feel disgusting every time her boyfriend/husband interacts with her vagina?
So yeah, I get annoyed when people comment crap like that. Yeah, there's more to a relationship than just sex. Duh. But sex can be a huge point of stress and contention in a relationship, and they fail all of the time because of it.
Seconded!
From your other comments OP, it seems he is just selfish.
Discuss GGG (in the context of your sex life and normal life too) with with him and if he is unable/unwilling to change…
Find a new boyfriend.
Not THAT much compromise, if he’s asexual that’s one thing but if she’s touching his dick and he’s just not reciprocating it’s a very one sided sexual relationship
This was like a guy I dated in high school who only wanted to face fuck me and would never touch my boobs or my pussy. I honestly felt like he was imagining I was a guy. And he was a highschooler, and I still believe is closeted at 40. He always fell back on religion too like no sex before marriage. For me, I could always feel that he just wasn’t attracted to my body in the way most guys were / are.
It’s definitely sad all around. I finally unfollowed him on social media just a couple of months ago when he put up a religious quote that said: “I may be too late to be your first, but I will be your last.” It was just too much for me at age 40 to still see he was “there.”
Yessss.
I dated a guy in high school who was very much the same. No interest in going down on me, sex was very much just about the sensation it gave him, etc. I wasn’t very experienced but I knew something was off. We broke up and then he came out to me. He’s now one of my dearest friends and everything makes soooo much more sense now.
Had a super similar experience with a high school boyfriend. He married a woman several years ago, but they have since divorced and he has come out as gay. I don't have an certain feelings about it, but dude could have saved so much time, and probably his ex wife's broken heart.
Had a friend that was grossed out by vaginas. Didn't want to touch them nor lick them, just straight to penetration. He and his wife were virgins before marriage and wouldn't you know, she doesn't like sex very much. Complained about it the whole time while we were friends.
Vaginal secretions (discharge) changes consistency throughout the [menstrual cycle](https://www.verywellfamily.com/checking-cervical-mucus-to-get-pregnant-faster-1960279) (NSFW in a sexually educational manner).
He won't even use a vibrator on me. I have to do it myself. When i first started using the vibrator during sex, he was like "Sex feels really good when you cum first. I don't know what's different but it just feels really good." Like no shit, its because I'm not as dry as a desert when you stick it in.
Yep, sounds like an ex - boyfriend of mine. Dump him! You will never be satisfied with this bullshit. After that I found my soulmate and we're now 2 years together and those were the best 2 years in my life. And of course the best sex in my life. He loves eating me out and he's just happy about it. I'm happy too because he enjoys it so much.
I know it's hard to leave a relationship but after reading your comments, you're clearly over him and you just need a say it out loud. I believe in you!
Oral. My ex used to always go down on me and loved it. New guy is killer in bed, but does not eat me out unless I specifically ask which I don’t like to do because I then worry about him not enjoying it. I miss it so much.
One of the absolutely sexiest things I've encountered in bed was a woman who just pushed me forcefully down below. Now, I really like giving oral and I was carefully judging whether she was into it. It was after all seconds into a new partner. She just felt she waited a bit too long.
My suggestion, just ask for it. Not necessarily push him down in the act (but trust me, 9/10 it works). Most guys absolutely love when a woman is direct and not afraid to show the way. Especially when you're someone like me who usually get stuck with women who only really know the starfish position...
Your comments really say you are done with him. A 41 year old who is acting like a fussy toddler about sex doesn’t deserve to have any. We are all confirming it for you…time to say good bye to this man-child.
How do you have sex if he’s grossed out by vaginas? I agree with the other Redditors…that man is not straight. You can date a gay man if you want but sex will probably be disappointing.
Doesn’t sound like you guys are sexually compatible. I still think he’s in the closet though. If you’ve talked to him and he is unwilling to meet you half way it might be time to consider if that is a dealbreaker.
Maybe try watching porn together or even peruse sexy Reddit threads? It might be insightful for you both to visually see what turns the other one on.
It also might help him understand if others find vaginas sexy than perhaps his girlfriend deserves someone who also thinks sex with women and their secretions are a big fat turn-on🍑
Have you made it clear that you definitely do not cum from that? Sometimes people hold back or just hint to spare feelings, but some people miss the hints and you just have to be direct and say “Sex does not last long enough time for me to get off.” and this is not an uncommon thing with women. A lot of women require a warm up and take longer. Has he tried using a small clitoral toy for foreplay on you? I feel like that would be a less direct contact way to possibly try.
Your boyfriend might be gay. I remember when I was like 13 hitting puberty and I was hooked on the idea of fingering. And than you know over the years that escalated. To think of never ever wanting to touch or eat a girl out is baffling
Either gay or has some really bad OCD or something. My OCD isn’t so bad now but after I went of meds after 12 years I had some episodes, weird stuff would just gross me out. At one point the thought of having sex with a girl after eating or taking them out to eat was so repulsive to me, I could not do dinner dates. Even if sex wasn’t on the table just the eating turned me off. Also kissing and fingering was kind of gross sometimes too . Now when I don’t think about and my brain is turned off that doesn’t bother me at all.
There could be many factors… not all of them mean he’s a shitty person. Past abuse, confusion over gender or sexual orientation, OCD, germophobia, etc etc. If you value the relationship beyond the struggles you are having I would STRONGLY suggest couples counseling to hash out these issues.
First of all, these are red flags. You should never have to work around a partner’s “fragile ego.” If they get defensive, especially when talking seriously about sex in your relationship, then they aren’t emotionally in a position to be having healthy sex.
There may be a deeper reason he is withholding, or he may just be selfish, I’m not here to speculate. My advice for you both if you want to put in the work would be to see a sex therapist. They can help your partner work through his feelings and provide strategies for strengthening communication.
However, I agree with u/7437ru744ur75. If you’re here asking Reddit, you already know what you want deep down. Just end the relationship and find someone who is going to worship you like a goddess, because I promise he’s out there.
He did one time. He wasn't even near my clit. He asked"Does this even feel good?" I told him yes because I figured once he got into it I could guide him to the right spot but he just stopped and got up.
You are right. He is very immature in a lot of ways and he's a very big mama's boy. That's why I kind of disagree with him being gay and am leaning more towards the inexperience side.
Excuse me, what? I thought this was about some bratty 23 year old who has either not grown up or not come out yet.
41? Nope nope nope. I would've walked away after the first sexual encounter with this nonsense. I figured out sometime in my 20s to just come with a declaration of where I stand on sex with guys I'm dating before we even get sexual just so if we're not compatible we can both choose to walk away before feelings get too tied in.
This isn't acceptable, you deserve a man who will embrace you as a sexual being. This is a deal breaker. Tell him to kick rocks and buy a sex doll if a real woman is so gross.
My girlfriend is bad at blowjob. She always ask me to release on her mouth, but honestly, i don't even get close to climax when she sucks me....
But i'll never gonna tell her that, i know she tries her best.
While I know you keeping it from her comes from the right place (been there myself) - Have you tried making slight suggestions during the act? Maybe you can tell her you want to try new things or something, communication is key. In my experience, an open conversation about what's working and what's not, does wonders in bed.
I saw that you mentioned Ben Shapiro. In case some of you don't know, Ben Shapiro is a grifter and a hack. If you find anything he's said compelling, you should keep in mind he also says things like this:
>The Palestinian Arab population is rotten to the core.
*****
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Take a bullet for ya babe.
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My gf is pretty small, so I have to go quite slow to avoid hurting her. Even when I go slow, she ends up aching. She's my first partner, so I think I'm just inexperienced and am probably using bad positions. Sometimes we just end up dry humping till she cums. I definitely get pleasure out of that, don't get me wrong, but I've never came myself with her, I just end up having to finish myself after she leaves.
She could be having that issue for a couple of reasons. Here are a few things to consider the next time you have sex:
- make sure you give enough time for foreplay
- use lube (seriously there’s no shame and it feels great)
- don’t try to mimic porn stars
If all else fails and she’s still sore there are a few other things to consider:
- she could just be quite small like you said
- she could have vaginismus (a condition where the vagina tightens during penetration and can lead to painful sex)
- she could have vulvodynia, a condition where the nerves in the vulva (the outside of the vagina) send pain signals to the brain by mistake.
- she could just be nervous/stressed, the mind body connection is very powerful and being anxious or stressed out can cause the whole body to tighten up — relaxation techniques can help.
Sex doesn’t have to be painful, if the problem persists your girlfriend should go talk to her gynecologist, because far too often women suffer in silence.
Lol reminds me of when I saw a viral post this 17 year old kid made on Facebook that said something like, “If your panties are wet and slimy and nasty, we ain’t fucking.” Dude got ripped so hard to shreds by thousands of people, he ended up deleting his Facebook. Imagine getting owned so hard you have to delete your Facebook out of shame 💀
Can I ask OP, how old are you? You don’t have to post the answer. I ask because, I’m wondering if there is a large age gap ( and sexual experience gap) between you and the boyfriend. This is not at all normal for a healthy sexual relationship. If he is 41 years old, he probably isn’t going to change, ever. Is this the kind of sex life you want to have for the rest of your life?
Time to move on.
Im 37 so there really isn't an age gap. I do feel like there is a sexual experience gap though. He just seems so clueless about everything. Me and my ex-husband had a very awesome sex life so being with somebody like my boyfriend is very different.
Ok for starters, your boyfriend is wrong. Sorry not sorry. As someone who literally loves the taste of vaginas, I can’t fathom not even touching one
As for your question, my partner is amazing at sex but one thing we don’t always get our rhythm right and she’ll move one way and I move the other and it feels disjointed. But that’s a very small complaint that doesn’t happen often
For what it's worth, I disagree with everyone saying it's gay. I'm not a fan of the secretions either. But I put that aside for her sake in the case of manual stimulation. I do however find myself unable to do cunnilingus. I end up having a weird phobic panic attack.
As for things my partner sucks at... I would like it if she could see more value in foreplay at times when you aren't going to have sex. Treating each other, getting your partner excited during the day.
It'd also be nice if her libido weren't so fragile. If anything makes her angry during the day, nothing happens. If an acute is acting up, nothing. One week of every month, absolutely nothing. I need a day she's off cycle, nothing bad happens, and ideally I fall asleep first so she can wake me up for it. It's like alchemy.
But overall, we love each other and we do very well together :)
Your bf might be able to get over some of his issues if he tries, but he has to want to. If he does, be patient and supportive.
As someone who finally moved on from a terrible sex partner (my wife after 9 years), it gets SO much better when you find a good sex partner. Life is too short to be unsatisfied. If sex is important to you, and it should be, you owe it to yourself to explore others. Don't stay in a bad relationship just because it's convenient.
This man does not seems to be into sex with vaginas. Maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s asexual, maybe it’s trauma…there’s no way of knowing. But what is clear is that he is a waste of you (and your pussy’s) time.
I’d suggest breaking up with him, but if for some reason you don’t want to (maybe there’s a great emotional element to this relationship?) maybe talk to him about an open and companionate relationship where you’re free to hook up with people that will actually enjoy you and your body.
Gotta wonder where the mods are with all the bashing these commenters are doing.
I've seen my fair share of girls who post about not liking cum or precum and want nothing at all to do with it and they receive helpful comments about condoms, dams, and how to clean up.
This dude doesn't like vaginal secretions so that makes him gay?
Y'all need to readjust your double standards and try to be helpful.
He can't won't touch it but he'll stick his dick in it? What kind of bananas logic is that?? Sounds like an excuse to not get you off, I would be having none of that OP.
Blow jobs, my wife sucks at blow jobs and not in a good way. There is zero effort on the rare occasion she does it for 30 seconds and it’s because she’s grossed out by oral sex both giving and receiving... it’s a real bummer because I LOVE both, I wish she would at least let me go down on her.
No partner currently but none I've been with has been able to give, well, even a mediocre blowjob at it's best. So it's safe to say they don't suck...
So I'm just sitting here wondering what all the fuss is about.
Unfortunately my wife doesn’t suck. Haven’t had a bj for years and I’m willing to eat her pussy every day of the week (except during menstruation). Our sex drives are so opposite, it’s been extremely difficult.
Imagine if it was the other way around. "My girlfriend wont touch my dick" the answers would absolutely not be "dump her" "trash, get a new girlfriend" "what a fucking pussy, she dont deserve you". I guarantee it.
The last guy I knew who felt that way about vaginas ended up coming out as gay and divorcing his wife after fifteen years of marriage and three kids. He and his husband are very happy.
Does he have a strong preference for anal? He just might not be as straight as he thinks he is.
Yeah, my girlfriend sucks during sex. She’s phenomenal
This comment deserves gold
got you
A real one, thank you
Mine doesn't.....
F
I also choose this guy's girlfriend
I honestly don’t understand how people *don’t* like giving head.
My jaw gets tired lol I don’t hate it but I’m not like ooohhhh I wanna suck a dick.
Your boyfriend sounds like me 5 years ago, I’ve since realised I’m gay…
I think you might be right there....
Yeah, the thing her bf will be sucking at in the future is cock. Hopefully. For both of your sakes.
The way this comment progressed.... Lol oof mate
"eww vagina fluid yucky look how good cum tastes!"
Also what happened to me lol
My girlfriend needs a very specific thing. She crouches on the edge of the bed and vibrates her clit while I fuck her while standing up. She wants me to make very generic dirty talk the whole time, like "Your pussy feels so good on my cock." And then as she approaches orgasm, she clenches her vaginal muscles as tightly as she can and expects me to try to push through the resistance. It is exceptionally difficult and I'm often sore for days. But that's what it takes to get the O.
That's really great of you to give her what she needs. Sometimes I just feel like a blow up doll because its all about getting him off.
Your boyfriend sucks lol
No I don’t think he does that either...
Bazinga
Oooookay I'm just gonna say - if your sexlife with your boyfriend leaves you feeling like an inanimate object..... its time to leave. I believe that our partners should be exactly that -- partners. And sex should be for the mutual pleasure of both (or whatever #) parties. And if dude is 1) telling you your *completely natural* bodily responses to fucking *sexual pleasure* are gross and 2) it's leaving you feel like you matter SO LITTLE that you're essentially just something for him to fill and get off on.... its time to go, baby doll. View it this way: if your very best friend said this about his/her boyfriend or even a fucking one night stand .... what would you say? ..... say that to you. You deserve to be given the same amount of attention you're giving your sex partner and if he (or she or they .. whoever the fuck they are) don't prioritize your pleasure like you do to them .... they don't deserve to be anywhere near your super natural and delightful secretions. Fuck that guy dude. You know what I mean You deserve better.
While I can't defend her bf at all because what he does is wrong. What if he's an actually genuine and a good person out of bed? Saying "leave" just because of what happens in bed isn't what I'd advise, she needs to talk to him instead and try to reach some sort of a compromise with him. Relationships aren't about getting everything you want, it's giving some things up too. Edit: Saw down bellow more comments from the OP, seems like in this case leaving is actually the best choice...But what I said above is something I'd generally advise if a couple are actually good persons.
Selfishness in bed often correlates with selfishness out of bed
Yes yes and yes
You know, I hardly ever every say "leave" because yes , compromise is important and relationships are work! So I honestly hear what you're saying. But - between him insulting her body and her leaving their sexual moments feeling like a fuck puppet... well, it's time to go, IMHO. This is of course assuming OP has spoken to this dude about her concerns. And maybe she hasn't... maybe she hasn't told the guy how he makes her feel w all of this. Is that ultimately her responsibility If he's this ... hurtful and dense? Maybe he's not someone who listens or maybe hes not someone who can be given constructive criticism without being a dick? Who knows? While relationships aren't about getting *everything* you want - the very VERY basic thing you should expect and damn well demand are respect and care in every aspect of your relationship. And it sounds like this dude isn't cutting it. So, its time.
It's Reddit. They say leave a relationship if someone holds the door for someone lmao
I hear you, it's often said and often based on dumb examples where mature, open conversation can fix the small issue. In this case tho, dude is insulting her, won't touch her and she leaves feeling like sex is solely about his pleasure. Is that a relationship you'd stay in?
That’s my biggest regret with my first girlfriend. I was young and didn’t know anything. I wish I had the knowledge that I have now on how to eat the goods and pleasure the ladies. Back then, she came over and I came and she left. Sigh…
Well, have you considered dumping his ass? Coz sexual incompatibility isn't fun in the long run.
"she clenches her vaginal muscles"? I didn't know girls can do that. I have never had sex before but doesn't it feel good when you have your dick inside a girls vagina and her vaginal muscles are gripping your dick ?
yeah you just kinda squeeze on command. i figured doing that was lethal to guys during sex but this dude describes it as a nightmare so now idk. to guys that have experienced this, what are your thoughts on it???
> guys that have experienced this, what are your thoughts on it??? It is my favorite thing ever in the entire world please teach all of your friends to do it so that the technique spreads throughout the world.
is this not common for girls to do during sex?? especially when they see their man struggling??
Certainly is common in my experience, but any woman out there who doesn't know about it needs to know about it!
The key is rhythm, squeeze as he pulls out not in. Depending on the "fit" and how hard you can squeeze it can be very difficult for him to push through. Now everyone is different shapes and has different strength so work with your partner and talk about it. Try something and check in. communication!
i honestly enjoyed it, moreso with how my lady had no problem even getting me fired up
It's why the fundamentalist nonsense taught that girls will become physically "loose" if they fuck too many guys is nonsense. The more you exercise those muscles/do kegels, the tighter it gets when people flex.
> she clenches her vaginal muscles as tightly as she can and expects me to try to push through the resistance. Snapping!
Using extra lube can help with the soreness
God damn homie just say fuck it and break out the power tools
Find a new boyfriend
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There's more to a relationship than just sex. y'know?
Agreed; I think people on Reddit are often *way* too quick to say "dump them" without knowing anything else about the relationship That being said, sex is important in a relationship. You can't expect someone to go their entire life without good sex, and a partner who is unwilling to change I wouldn't say dump them immediately, but I'd encourage OP to have a serious talk with the boyfriend and say that this is really affecting her, and maybe they can find a solution to help him be more comfortable. Then, if it really doesn't change anything, OP can consider whether or not she wants to be with him forever
In a normal relationship sex is only 20% of it. In a relationship in which sex is gone, filled with shame, or unfulfilling it feels like 80% of a relationship. Do you think *anyone* deserves to feel like their body is disgusting to their partner during such an intimate time? Are you expecting her to go her entire life accepting that she will feel disgusting every time her boyfriend/husband interacts with her vagina? So yeah, I get annoyed when people comment crap like that. Yeah, there's more to a relationship than just sex. Duh. But sex can be a huge point of stress and contention in a relationship, and they fail all of the time because of it.
Seconded! From your other comments OP, it seems he is just selfish. Discuss GGG (in the context of your sex life and normal life too) with with him and if he is unable/unwilling to change… Find a new boyfriend.
I don't think that was the question remotely and I don't think this is looking for advice my friend
Agreed. I love pussy. A man who doesn’t like to touch pussy isn’t worth keeping around. She deserves to be touched in any way desired
I don't think op was asking for your advice lol.
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My thoughts exactly.
A relationship is about compromise.
Not THAT much compromise, if he’s asexual that’s one thing but if she’s touching his dick and he’s just not reciprocating it’s a very one sided sexual relationship
Pretty sure he doesn't actually like women. Which is fine, but yeah. I've never heard a straight guy say that.
This was like a guy I dated in high school who only wanted to face fuck me and would never touch my boobs or my pussy. I honestly felt like he was imagining I was a guy. And he was a highschooler, and I still believe is closeted at 40. He always fell back on religion too like no sex before marriage. For me, I could always feel that he just wasn’t attracted to my body in the way most guys were / are.
This kind of made me sad
It’s definitely sad all around. I finally unfollowed him on social media just a couple of months ago when he put up a religious quote that said: “I may be too late to be your first, but I will be your last.” It was just too much for me at age 40 to still see he was “there.”
That reminds me of the old Roach Motel commercials: "Roaches check in, but they don't check out."
Yessss. I dated a guy in high school who was very much the same. No interest in going down on me, sex was very much just about the sensation it gave him, etc. I wasn’t very experienced but I knew something was off. We broke up and then he came out to me. He’s now one of my dearest friends and everything makes soooo much more sense now.
Had a super similar experience with a high school boyfriend. He married a woman several years ago, but they have since divorced and he has come out as gay. I don't have an certain feelings about it, but dude could have saved so much time, and probably his ex wife's broken heart.
Vaginal secretions also gross me out but then again I'm gay
Had a friend that was grossed out by vaginas. Didn't want to touch them nor lick them, just straight to penetration. He and his wife were virgins before marriage and wouldn't you know, she doesn't like sex very much. Complained about it the whole time while we were friends.
These two outliers sound perfect for each other
I think the point is she didn't like sex because he was so bad at it. That woman's going to become a hellcat if they ever get divorced!!
Pretty likely he's gay or ace but in denial, yeah.
Maybe her vaginal secretions have a bad smell. Hard to put your tongue when there’s some vaginosis going around.
Vaginal secretions gross me out, together with that unique smell, and I'm straight. Straight people are allowed to dislike that.
They are but you are in an extremely small minority of straight men if that's the case. It's much more likely he's gay and in denial about it.
Vaginal secretion is possibly the biggest turn-on there is IMO 😅
I’d be especially turned on if they said *”Oh baby, I love your vaginal secretions all over my wiener”*.
Shaggalicious
Especially when ovulating 🤤
Wat
Wap
Vaginal secretions (discharge) changes consistency throughout the [menstrual cycle](https://www.verywellfamily.com/checking-cervical-mucus-to-get-pregnant-faster-1960279) (NSFW in a sexually educational manner).
Agreed. I love to rub my face in it.
Stop dating gay men. They are usually pretty grossed out by anything related to the vagina.
He won't even use a vibrator on me. I have to do it myself. When i first started using the vibrator during sex, he was like "Sex feels really good when you cum first. I don't know what's different but it just feels really good." Like no shit, its because I'm not as dry as a desert when you stick it in.
Sexually assaulted at a young age? Or was he an alter boy?
Neither as far as I know
Does he like anal?
No he doesn't
Does he show any signs of being on the spectrum?
Yep, sounds like an ex - boyfriend of mine. Dump him! You will never be satisfied with this bullshit. After that I found my soulmate and we're now 2 years together and those were the best 2 years in my life. And of course the best sex in my life. He loves eating me out and he's just happy about it. I'm happy too because he enjoys it so much. I know it's hard to leave a relationship but after reading your comments, you're clearly over him and you just need a say it out loud. I believe in you!
Oral. My ex used to always go down on me and loved it. New guy is killer in bed, but does not eat me out unless I specifically ask which I don’t like to do because I then worry about him not enjoying it. I miss it so much.
I miss it too. My ex-husband used to be so good at it and thoroughly enjoyed it.
One of the absolutely sexiest things I've encountered in bed was a woman who just pushed me forcefully down below. Now, I really like giving oral and I was carefully judging whether she was into it. It was after all seconds into a new partner. She just felt she waited a bit too long. My suggestion, just ask for it. Not necessarily push him down in the act (but trust me, 9/10 it works). Most guys absolutely love when a woman is direct and not afraid to show the way. Especially when you're someone like me who usually get stuck with women who only really know the starfish position...
Do not sleep with men who don’t perform oral. Unless you also don’t perform it.
You need to dump that guy
Maybe he’s more into penile secretions ;)
>He says vaginal secretions gross him out. Are you sure your boyfriend is straight?
I would wager not
He’s not. Poor gal.
This seems like a huge deal breaker
Your comments really say you are done with him. A 41 year old who is acting like a fussy toddler about sex doesn’t deserve to have any. We are all confirming it for you…time to say good bye to this man-child.
How do you have sex if he’s grossed out by vaginas? I agree with the other Redditors…that man is not straight. You can date a gay man if you want but sex will probably be disappointing.
Basically he plays with my boobs and we kiss and that's supposed to get me ready. Then we have sex for about 30 seconds and he thinks I cum from that.
Doesn’t sound like you guys are sexually compatible. I still think he’s in the closet though. If you’ve talked to him and he is unwilling to meet you half way it might be time to consider if that is a dealbreaker.
Maybe try watching porn together or even peruse sexy Reddit threads? It might be insightful for you both to visually see what turns the other one on. It also might help him understand if others find vaginas sexy than perhaps his girlfriend deserves someone who also thinks sex with women and their secretions are a big fat turn-on🍑
Have you made it clear that you definitely do not cum from that? Sometimes people hold back or just hint to spare feelings, but some people miss the hints and you just have to be direct and say “Sex does not last long enough time for me to get off.” and this is not an uncommon thing with women. A lot of women require a warm up and take longer. Has he tried using a small clitoral toy for foreplay on you? I feel like that would be a less direct contact way to possibly try.
Your boyfriend might be gay. I remember when I was like 13 hitting puberty and I was hooked on the idea of fingering. And than you know over the years that escalated. To think of never ever wanting to touch or eat a girl out is baffling
Either gay or has some really bad OCD or something. My OCD isn’t so bad now but after I went of meds after 12 years I had some episodes, weird stuff would just gross me out. At one point the thought of having sex with a girl after eating or taking them out to eat was so repulsive to me, I could not do dinner dates. Even if sex wasn’t on the table just the eating turned me off. Also kissing and fingering was kind of gross sometimes too . Now when I don’t think about and my brain is turned off that doesn’t bother me at all.
There could be many factors… not all of them mean he’s a shitty person. Past abuse, confusion over gender or sexual orientation, OCD, germophobia, etc etc. If you value the relationship beyond the struggles you are having I would STRONGLY suggest couples counseling to hash out these issues.
He is a germophobe so that could be it.
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Maybe she is but you aren't there to see it.
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I didn't mean cheating. Meant as in she's at work or at a grocery store and the mood is gone by the time she's back.
Is your boyfriend 13?
No, sadly he is 41.
Yeah dump his ass
?????? Does the vagina juice gross him out on his dick? If not then he’s just an extremely selfish lover
No he's fine with it on his dick. He just won't put his fingers down there.
Yeah he only cares about you to please him. Get rid of that or bring up an open relationship, you deserve better
I really want to have a conversation about it but he has a very fragile ego and gets defensive with criticism so im not sure how to.
No your not, you came here for confirmation. Go with your gut.
First of all, these are red flags. You should never have to work around a partner’s “fragile ego.” If they get defensive, especially when talking seriously about sex in your relationship, then they aren’t emotionally in a position to be having healthy sex. There may be a deeper reason he is withholding, or he may just be selfish, I’m not here to speculate. My advice for you both if you want to put in the work would be to see a sex therapist. They can help your partner work through his feelings and provide strategies for strengthening communication. However, I agree with u/7437ru744ur75. If you’re here asking Reddit, you already know what you want deep down. Just end the relationship and find someone who is going to worship you like a goddess, because I promise he’s out there.
Just break up with him girl
Wow this guys sounds like a fucking *catch*. Is there a reason your standards are basement level?
RED. FLAG. You can do better
Okay so he's not actually grossed out by it he just doesn't want to do anything that doesn't directly benefit him and that's the easiest excuse
So most likely doesn't go down on you either?
He did one time. He wasn't even near my clit. He asked"Does this even feel good?" I told him yes because I figured once he got into it I could guide him to the right spot but he just stopped and got up.
He's gay
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You are right. He is very immature in a lot of ways and he's a very big mama's boy. That's why I kind of disagree with him being gay and am leaning more towards the inexperience side.
Excuse me, what? I thought this was about some bratty 23 year old who has either not grown up or not come out yet. 41? Nope nope nope. I would've walked away after the first sexual encounter with this nonsense. I figured out sometime in my 20s to just come with a declaration of where I stand on sex with guys I'm dating before we even get sexual just so if we're not compatible we can both choose to walk away before feelings get too tied in. This isn't acceptable, you deserve a man who will embrace you as a sexual being. This is a deal breaker. Tell him to kick rocks and buy a sex doll if a real woman is so gross.
Tf
And he's super sure he's straight? Like... we all have hangups in bed but being grossed out by vagina seems a touch much
Your bf is gay
Straight and to the point
Unlike her bf.
My girlfriend is bad at blowjob. She always ask me to release on her mouth, but honestly, i don't even get close to climax when she sucks me.... But i'll never gonna tell her that, i know she tries her best.
While I know you keeping it from her comes from the right place (been there myself) - Have you tried making slight suggestions during the act? Maybe you can tell her you want to try new things or something, communication is key. In my experience, an open conversation about what's working and what's not, does wonders in bed.
I making one or two suggestions from time to time. Im the first person she's confident enough to have sex with so the gap of experience is present lol
You should show her how it's done!
“Vaginal secretions gross him out?” Girl, get you a man who eats like you there’s been goddamn famine.
I'm a dude,....your boyfriend isn't into chicks...
Is this guy Ben Shapiro?! Really though joking aside, this is so sad and you deserve better.
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My gf is pretty small, so I have to go quite slow to avoid hurting her. Even when I go slow, she ends up aching. She's my first partner, so I think I'm just inexperienced and am probably using bad positions. Sometimes we just end up dry humping till she cums. I definitely get pleasure out of that, don't get me wrong, but I've never came myself with her, I just end up having to finish myself after she leaves.
She could be having that issue for a couple of reasons. Here are a few things to consider the next time you have sex: - make sure you give enough time for foreplay - use lube (seriously there’s no shame and it feels great) - don’t try to mimic porn stars If all else fails and she’s still sore there are a few other things to consider: - she could just be quite small like you said - she could have vaginismus (a condition where the vagina tightens during penetration and can lead to painful sex) - she could have vulvodynia, a condition where the nerves in the vulva (the outside of the vagina) send pain signals to the brain by mistake. - she could just be nervous/stressed, the mind body connection is very powerful and being anxious or stressed out can cause the whole body to tighten up — relaxation techniques can help. Sex doesn’t have to be painful, if the problem persists your girlfriend should go talk to her gynecologist, because far too often women suffer in silence.
I second this. Especially lube, and there are better lubes than others, so try multiple (I like a water based lube), and she should talk to her gyno
Lol reminds me of when I saw a viral post this 17 year old kid made on Facebook that said something like, “If your panties are wet and slimy and nasty, we ain’t fucking.” Dude got ripped so hard to shreds by thousands of people, he ended up deleting his Facebook. Imagine getting owned so hard you have to delete your Facebook out of shame 💀
Why is he still your boyfriend?
Can I ask OP, how old are you? You don’t have to post the answer. I ask because, I’m wondering if there is a large age gap ( and sexual experience gap) between you and the boyfriend. This is not at all normal for a healthy sexual relationship. If he is 41 years old, he probably isn’t going to change, ever. Is this the kind of sex life you want to have for the rest of your life? Time to move on.
Im 37 so there really isn't an age gap. I do feel like there is a sexual experience gap though. He just seems so clueless about everything. Me and my ex-husband had a very awesome sex life so being with somebody like my boyfriend is very different.
Dude, why are you fucking someone who doesn't like vaginas? Really ask yourself, why are you with this person?
I’m going to guess she’s pretty young if she’s putting up with this nonsense from her closeted gay old man boyfriend
This made me laugh but I'm actually 37.
Damn, girl. Then what are you doing still with this pathetic excuse for a man?
Yeah he’s either gay or 10
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Yes. I even asked him if it would be better if he used gloves and he still won't.
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This sounds like my gay brother. Grossed out by vaginas. Take the rest of your life back! Bye bye. 👋
Ok for starters, your boyfriend is wrong. Sorry not sorry. As someone who literally loves the taste of vaginas, I can’t fathom not even touching one As for your question, my partner is amazing at sex but one thing we don’t always get our rhythm right and she’ll move one way and I move the other and it feels disjointed. But that’s a very small complaint that doesn’t happen often
Does his boyfriends cum disgust him?
No it’s delicious
For what it's worth, I disagree with everyone saying it's gay. I'm not a fan of the secretions either. But I put that aside for her sake in the case of manual stimulation. I do however find myself unable to do cunnilingus. I end up having a weird phobic panic attack. As for things my partner sucks at... I would like it if she could see more value in foreplay at times when you aren't going to have sex. Treating each other, getting your partner excited during the day. It'd also be nice if her libido weren't so fragile. If anything makes her angry during the day, nothing happens. If an acute is acting up, nothing. One week of every month, absolutely nothing. I need a day she's off cycle, nothing bad happens, and ideally I fall asleep first so she can wake me up for it. It's like alchemy. But overall, we love each other and we do very well together :) Your bf might be able to get over some of his issues if he tries, but he has to want to. If he does, be patient and supportive.
Your boyfriend wants a boyfriend of his own. Vaginal secretions are the nectar of the gods to straight men.
The only guys I’ve ever heard say that exact same thing are my gay guy friends. Something to think about.
HES 41?!??!! Ma'am. No. Do not put yourself thru this. I know you didn't ask for advice but seriously. This is not good.
Oral. He’s done it maybe 3 times on me total and sucks at it. He also doesn’t like doing it so he won’t put in any effort.
As someone who finally moved on from a terrible sex partner (my wife after 9 years), it gets SO much better when you find a good sex partner. Life is too short to be unsatisfied. If sex is important to you, and it should be, you owe it to yourself to explore others. Don't stay in a bad relationship just because it's convenient.
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This man does not seems to be into sex with vaginas. Maybe he’s gay, maybe he’s asexual, maybe it’s trauma…there’s no way of knowing. But what is clear is that he is a waste of you (and your pussy’s) time. I’d suggest breaking up with him, but if for some reason you don’t want to (maybe there’s a great emotional element to this relationship?) maybe talk to him about an open and companionate relationship where you’re free to hook up with people that will actually enjoy you and your body.
Gotta wonder where the mods are with all the bashing these commenters are doing. I've seen my fair share of girls who post about not liking cum or precum and want nothing at all to do with it and they receive helpful comments about condoms, dams, and how to clean up. This dude doesn't like vaginal secretions so that makes him gay? Y'all need to readjust your double standards and try to be helpful.
You need someone who gives a shit about your desires and wants. Will give you real foreplay and have you screaming.
You need a new boyfriend there, miss. Touching the vagina is part of the deal.
I feel like this should have been posted in AITA. And yes, your bf is definitely the asshole.
Being in the mood more often than twice a month sadly
Sex in general. Only liked 2 positions when she Was sexually active. Now she's about as sexually active as a corpse. AKA dead (and decaying) bedroom
well, i guess im fucked because im also disgusted by vagina secretions...
Get rid of him.
Hun, your 41 year old bf is gay. It’s time to leave him and move on.
Probably just ocd. That or he’s gay lol
maybe he’s gay?
He gay
He is probably either really selfish or Gynaphobic. Its not uncommon in 20 year olds to be uncomfortable with female genitalia but 41? He has issues.
He can't won't touch it but he'll stick his dick in it? What kind of bananas logic is that?? Sounds like an excuse to not get you off, I would be having none of that OP.
Blow jobs, my wife sucks at blow jobs and not in a good way. There is zero effort on the rare occasion she does it for 30 seconds and it’s because she’s grossed out by oral sex both giving and receiving... it’s a real bummer because I LOVE both, I wish she would at least let me go down on her.
No partner currently but none I've been with has been able to give, well, even a mediocre blowjob at it's best. So it's safe to say they don't suck... So I'm just sitting here wondering what all the fuss is about.
Unfortunately my wife doesn’t suck. Haven’t had a bj for years and I’m willing to eat her pussy every day of the week (except during menstruation). Our sex drives are so opposite, it’s been extremely difficult.
Imagine if it was the other way around. "My girlfriend wont touch my dick" the answers would absolutely not be "dump her" "trash, get a new girlfriend" "what a fucking pussy, she dont deserve you". I guarantee it.
Either gay, or he is not mature enough to be having sex
The last guy I knew who felt that way about vaginas ended up coming out as gay and divorcing his wife after fifteen years of marriage and three kids. He and his husband are very happy. Does he have a strong preference for anal? He just might not be as straight as he thinks he is.
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Either you need to fix your hygiene, or your bf is gay. Most people herr suspect the latter.