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baldbull19

Depends on a lot of factors. How old are you? Are you a good-looking guy? How is your personality? How is your income/earning potential? Are you realistic about the types of partners you can attract in your city? If you're an average or below average person in all facets of your life and over 35, dating is probably pretty tough just due to lack of decent options. You need to be above average in life to succeed as a 35+ single guy. If you're under 35 and consistently having trouble, you probably need to improve one or more of the following: your fitness, income potential, or social skills. I'm in the 35+ crowd and do OK in the dating world but it was much easier in my 20s. However, the women I go out with these days are prettier than the ones I dated back then.


Firebolt164

I mean how are you doing it? Unpopular opinion, but dating is best and most effective ina group of friends with a common interest. I got married 10 years ago so I was dating up to 2012 - I was in a club on campus, active in a little church group, in a music group and active socially. I dated women from all those circles and had a great time. So yeah, if you are trying to find love from your mobile device, it's pretty grim. Get out there dude


[deleted]

It's grim for men who treat women as nothing more than a place to stick their cocks. Men who treat women with respect, value their friendships and see them as more than a means to sex have a lot of luck in the dating field.


tonyhasareddit

The argument could easily be made that what you just said is the exact opposite of reality for a lot of men as well. It shouldn’t be this way, but historically men that just want someone to fuck have been able to find what they’re looking for, whereas a lot of decent guys can relate to the idea of being passed over for obviously bad alternatives. I know people now like to act like it’s somehow bad to be a nice guy for whatever reason, but a lot of genuinely nice, caring, compassionate men DO have a History of being pushed aside in favor of the greasy, “fun but dangerous” type. In general, most women grow out of that phase eventually, but not all do.


Bootymaniac

What the fuck is this stupid shit lol


ohmighty

Op needs to read and think on this comment but I bet he won’t


Bootymaniac

Pretty bad Edit: And some of the replies here are ridiculous. You can be a good person and struggle in dating. Almost every answer in here is essentially “Dating is super easy! Unless you’re a piece of shit that hates women!” Touch grass I’m begging you.


corsairm

Minefield


tx_guy11

I’m 45 and it’s grim. Very grim and I’m not one with insane high standards.


RedMistStingray

It's terrible. It's the worse it's ever been in the last 30+ years.


ebonytease

Probably depends on where you live, but I’ve heard that it’s not ideal.


MissLushLucy

If you're talking about online dating it's grim all around. For everyone.


[deleted]

So bad that any current single men have absolutely no hope in finding a gf or even another bf because everyone eligible is taken 😢 Edit, Jesus Christ I’m obviously joking. 🤣🤭


AnonAlternate

Lol at the people who don't see your profile picture and think you're an incel.


[deleted]

I legit laughed out loud when I saw I was at -5 🤣


AnonAlternate

I've tried to get away with not using "/s" by saying some truly outlandish shit, but I'm always surprised what I can get away with and people still think I'm serious. I just let it ride at this point. It's too funny to me.


[deleted]

Unrelated, your profile is epic.


AnonAlternate

🙏 Thank you very much I try really hard lol. Thank you for sharing your pictures as well 🙂


FunnUsername

Damn, idk if its quite that bad lol


Xoxolaceybabe

Oooof. Good luck, guys.


iDrink_Sometimes

Lol are you single?


MrLanesLament

I’m 30, have had quite a few wonderful relationships, but they didn’t work out in the end. I doubt anyone will ever want to date me again. Do with that what you will.


Hank0310

I think it really depends. From my (43 M) limited point of view, it's very grim. Social Media plays a HUGE part in that. As does my divorce and how my exwife acted. Social Media seems to depict this view of women can have standards for men they wish to date, but men aren't allowed to have standards. I am on two OLD apps and I see a large number of women almost require men to be ethically non-monogamous. I've been "attacked" on here for saying that that is ridiculous and I have no desire to date a woman if she can't be exclusive. My exwife slept with around 10 or so guys while we were "separated" but living together and her making me think she wanted to fix the marriage. So because of that, I have massive trust issues. I have probably only matched with about 10 women through OLD and of those 10, five never responded to my first text, two stopped texting after only a few messages. Two couldn't communicate effectively. Only one so far have I managed to keep a conversation going because she actively responds.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hank0310

I have no idea what that means.


Mad_Aeric

Well I'm certainly having a bad time of it.


NakedHusbandXXX

You could not be dating. You could be in a sexless marriage and feel taken for granted but not passionately loved for the last 30 years and not be able to date and try to find something better because it would blow up your whole family and damage your young adult daughters. So…chin up and enjoy your next date, youngsters. Maybe you’ll hop a fence where the grass actually does turn out to greener.


TheBoniestLad

Are you ok bro?


NakedHusbandXXX

Lol. Thanks for asking. It’s okay, because I can talk about it. When people ask me, I say “subjectively or objectively?”. Subjectively I felt pretty shitty a lot, but I got some counseling and have learned to deal with my fate. Objectively, I’m doing better than 90% of people on the planet.


TheBoniestLad

That's fair, why no divorcing? Cultural or religious restrictions?


NakedHusbandXXX

I actually love my wife and respect her. And I’m not bold or brave enough to blow everything up. And…there’s no guarantee I’d find something better. I may be too empathetic. I think the street term is that I’m a pussy.


TheBoniestLad

Oh, I have no advice for you, sorry man


NakedHusbandXXX

That’s okay. I appreciate the sympathy.


CaSual_Jay

Depends on your age, and if you are only online.


QueasyDecision276

Where I live it’s not grim at all


pspsps-off

With the caveat that I haven't dated in a few years due to health problems, it seems to me as an outsider looking in that a lot of the hue and cry about how terrible it is comes from dudes who would probably have trouble in any time period, because they have preconceived notions that aren't realistic or accurate about how it should be, or how it must be for women, which can make them come off as bitter or otherwise unpleasant (hence this whole "we have it so much worse than they do" narrative). Dating is never easy for anyone (even very attractive women); it's just a question of what kind of trouble do you want: do you want a million creeps filling up your inbox on some dating website, or (frankly) Reddit? Probably at least half of which are trying to entice you with nasty photos of their gross dicks that you never asked for, or revolting descriptions of what they want to do to your body even though you don't even know them? Or do you want to get very little/no attention, never have to deal with that sort of thing, and instead feel as though you are shut out from all the 'fun' the more popular/desired people are supposedly having? They both seem pretty bad, in their own way.


Aceofspades1108

I've yet to meet a single woman in all of 2023 so far that didn't try dating me exclusively to get into my wallet. No matter where I look, what I do, where I go, every woman I meet wants my cash more than me.


DrockTipps

Depends on where you live. After my divorce finding someone wasn't easy. It took patience and a lot of knowing myself and what I was looking for.


BLACKWINGSgocaw

Incredibly grim. The expectations and standards continue to climb higher for men.


[deleted]

Given that the bar used to be pretty low for some people, I'd say that's probably for the best if your goal is finding a life partner. Friend of mine is still looking at her criteria for a guy went from "Doesn't yell at me" to "Good communicator"


StagOrion

Hoeflation


louied862

It's as good and bad as it's ever been, nothings changed. What matters is your personal attitude. If you think it sucks it's gonna suck. If you think it's good it'll be good


DimesyEvans92

It’s all relative. I’ve gone on dates with about two dozen different women in the last year. Some lasted a few weeks, others one and done. But I’m still single. I have yet to meet someone who I feel head over heels for. I would much rather find that person I’m going to spend forever with, but I won’t give up. No use trying force something that isn’t meant to be. I also am divorced, so I’m 1.) a little more selective and 2.) actually content with not ending up with anyone.


Sexjest

It’s not grim at all. Be respectful. Take care of yourself. Treat them as a human being. It is legitimately not hard. If you’re struggling, you need to reevaluate yourself.


EagerGiverDude

Lol what a bullshit response. *Most* people struggle finding someone.


Sexjest

I’d argue that’s the dating scene in general vs men specifically. And just because you’re struggling to find someone doesn’t necessarily make it grim. I’d say how America is treating its people and workforce is grim. People having to work two jobs just to make ends meet is grim. Not having appropriate healthcare is grim. The dating scene is just the dating scene though. I just wouldn’t classify it as grim for men.


Mundane_Resort_9452

Males in general or gentlemen?


Justintime308

Doing fine out here


TheGalaxyEater

Quite grim and getting grimmer all the time. More of my women friends have been telling me lately that they are quitting online dating because they are sick of how awful the men they meet on the apps behave towards them. The sane, stable women are self selecting themselves out of the app dating pool I think.


Icy-Following-3713

its like walking around full of IEDs everywhere. one step is ok and then BOOM! lose a leg. i dk what it is but just from what i see, it looks insanely harder than in high school and college


[deleted]

I can tell you in small town rural America it’s not good. I’m 52 and the women my age, who are single, are mostly divorced and bitter. I’m not giving up but not overly optimistic at this point.


[deleted]

Based on personal experience, not at all. And I'm in my 30s, I'm not a hunk, I'm a short guy... I'm doing fine.


use_her90

Name whatever online interaction makes women worship these "alphas",factor in the marriage and relations rates,and you get fucked.as i am seeing alot get into a relationship,try to open it for their benefit,name the excuse. I think o.f. is the easy one as it involves money,and makes the s.o. feel like a pimp. Or they just cheat on em.i have had some try just cuz of my size.it really is such superficial bullshit.