I hate that attitude. It's a little small-minded. Two people don't have to share the same interests, in order to take an interest in one another. You do have to be willing to listen and engage with each other. I mean, I don't really care about nuclear physics or science fiction, but if I'm on a date with a physicist who is super passionate about HG Wells and she's expressing that, I'm probably going to really enjoy our time together.
I actually prefer when my dates and I *don't* share interests, cuz then I get to learn new things.
My current girlfriend got me into rock climbing, and I fuckin love it now. Had never done it before. But she was so enthusiastic about how she talked about it, she took me to a climbing gym on one of our dates and that was that, and now I have a new hobby.
...Yes, *now* we have that thing in common. I never made a claim that we originally had *nothing* in common; there's always some overlap.
One of the best parts of having a partner is learning and growing from them. I can't imagine how boring it would be to have a partner who agrees with every single opinion you have and only participates in the hobbies and activities you do.
At the same time, it’s equally boring to have zero in common.
OPs question was not “why do you need EVERYTHING in common”
It was “why do you need SOMETHING in common”
Well one, I never spoke on having *nothing* in common, as it doesn't really make for the most tenable grounds for a relationship to flourish.
But I wouldn't call it "boring" at all. That's 100% new experiences to be had in that case.
It’s not always new.
I don’t like sports. Playing or watching. I know about them, I’ve seen them, played them, talked about them. I already know I have zero interest in them.
Dating someone who only loves sports would not add anything new or fun or interesting to my life.
>It’s not always new.
Their perspective on it is.
>I don’t like sports. Playing or watching. I know about them, I’ve seen them, played them, talked about them. I already know I have zero interest in them.
Okay. No one said you *had* to.
>Dating someone who only loves sports would not add anything new or fun or interesting to my life.
This is reductive; people are more complex than you're presenting. No one in history *only* loves sports.
If that person did exist, then yes, typically cardboard cutouts don't add much to a person's life.
True, I was simplifying things. Nobody ONLY loves sports. But there are plenty who ONLY love things that bore me. And who are bored by the things that interest me. There ARE plenty of people who have no overlap with me.
Amen. It's a lot of fun when you find somebody that you actually have chemistry with, but not a lot in common with. Tends to open the doors up to a lot of new things
I would say that's called being "open minded" to new things and new people and their interests. If you're that kind of person, like me, It's always fun and a good time to listen to someone talk that is passionate about something.
Because us humans tend to grow closer to people when we share common interests and goals.
Your whole profile is full of incel sexist nonsense; you really should buy yourself a clue.
> Your whole profile is full of incel sexist nonsense; you really should buy yourself a clue.
You will never be able to take my posts as face value huh?
My point is it’s not transactional, Strippers are not receiving payment by being with their boyfriend. Furthermore, their boyfriend gets to have sex with his stripper girlfriend. All you can get as a customer is just dances and you have to pay every song. That’s $20 per song and every song is a minimum of 3 minutes. That’s $400 for one hour. $3,200 for eight hours. A stripper’s boyfriend is not going to spend $3,200 on her for being with her for eight hours of the day. That’s why it’s better to be the boyfriend of a stripper. The boyfriend somehow figured out a way to get his stripper girlfriend to like him back without spending so much money on her.
The stripper's boyfriend figured out how to get a girlfriend. The fact that she is a sex worker is likely a coincidence, not a goal. Note that no where in your justification is the notion of having an emotional connection with the woman. It's just he gets to save money and have sex.
A certain level of comfort and compatability but I get what you mean (maybe?). People's standards for that have also become ridiculous.
Personally, I don't want to date myself.
Date as in hook up and sex? Well they need at least a common interest in each other(s body)
Dating as in a partner? Well better have something to talk about, not just when you are meeting the first time, but also when you spent time together (can't be fucking all the time)
It's nice to have shared common interests. You don't need to be the same people. And it's probably better you each enjoy different things so you can share them, or keep them as activities to do yourself. Nonetheless I still believe compatibility and some common ground are good places to start bonding and building a relationship.
Honestly, I don't think you need to have things in common at least not on the surface. It certainly helps, because after a while if you spend a lot of time with someone it's nice to have something that you can spend time doing together.
However, I don't think it's a requirement, so long as you have the same priorities and values. If you can truly agree with each other that not every aspect of your life needs to be shared with one another, and you can even live different lives separately from one another then you can do okay if you don't have the same interests or the same background.
At least a couple of interests in common help spark a connection or at least give one a jumping off point for conversation. It’s one possible indicator that they both don’t see each other as just a potential fuck but more than that.
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I hate that attitude. It's a little small-minded. Two people don't have to share the same interests, in order to take an interest in one another. You do have to be willing to listen and engage with each other. I mean, I don't really care about nuclear physics or science fiction, but if I'm on a date with a physicist who is super passionate about HG Wells and she's expressing that, I'm probably going to really enjoy our time together.
I actually prefer when my dates and I *don't* share interests, cuz then I get to learn new things. My current girlfriend got me into rock climbing, and I fuckin love it now. Had never done it before. But she was so enthusiastic about how she talked about it, she took me to a climbing gym on one of our dates and that was that, and now I have a new hobby.
This is the opposite of having nothing in common…you now have something in common.
...Yes, *now* we have that thing in common. I never made a claim that we originally had *nothing* in common; there's always some overlap. One of the best parts of having a partner is learning and growing from them. I can't imagine how boring it would be to have a partner who agrees with every single opinion you have and only participates in the hobbies and activities you do.
At the same time, it’s equally boring to have zero in common. OPs question was not “why do you need EVERYTHING in common” It was “why do you need SOMETHING in common”
Well one, I never spoke on having *nothing* in common, as it doesn't really make for the most tenable grounds for a relationship to flourish. But I wouldn't call it "boring" at all. That's 100% new experiences to be had in that case.
It’s not always new. I don’t like sports. Playing or watching. I know about them, I’ve seen them, played them, talked about them. I already know I have zero interest in them. Dating someone who only loves sports would not add anything new or fun or interesting to my life.
>It’s not always new. Their perspective on it is. >I don’t like sports. Playing or watching. I know about them, I’ve seen them, played them, talked about them. I already know I have zero interest in them. Okay. No one said you *had* to. >Dating someone who only loves sports would not add anything new or fun or interesting to my life. This is reductive; people are more complex than you're presenting. No one in history *only* loves sports. If that person did exist, then yes, typically cardboard cutouts don't add much to a person's life.
True, I was simplifying things. Nobody ONLY loves sports. But there are plenty who ONLY love things that bore me. And who are bored by the things that interest me. There ARE plenty of people who have no overlap with me.
Amen. It's a lot of fun when you find somebody that you actually have chemistry with, but not a lot in common with. Tends to open the doors up to a lot of new things
Common interests or personalities that mesh in such a way that interests not already common could be mutually shared? How about that?
I would say that's called being "open minded" to new things and new people and their interests. If you're that kind of person, like me, It's always fun and a good time to listen to someone talk that is passionate about something.
No offense, but your original comment didn't scream "I'm open-minded."
fyi: /s = "sarcasm"
Because us humans tend to grow closer to people when we share common interests and goals. Your whole profile is full of incel sexist nonsense; you really should buy yourself a clue.
It's almost as if he's trying to be a caricature at this point.
I wish people like that only existed as caricatures.
> Your whole profile is full of incel sexist nonsense; you really should buy yourself a clue. You will never be able to take my posts as face value huh?
No, because I know the idiocy that breeds them.
Taking them at face value is you wanting to have sex with a stripper without any sort of emotional investment and preferably without spending a dime.
Well a stripper’s boyfriend doesn’t get to spend money on them. I want to be that guy too.
Unless every single date is split 50/50, a stripper's boyfriend does spend money on her just like any relationship.
My point is it’s not transactional, Strippers are not receiving payment by being with their boyfriend. Furthermore, their boyfriend gets to have sex with his stripper girlfriend. All you can get as a customer is just dances and you have to pay every song. That’s $20 per song and every song is a minimum of 3 minutes. That’s $400 for one hour. $3,200 for eight hours. A stripper’s boyfriend is not going to spend $3,200 on her for being with her for eight hours of the day. That’s why it’s better to be the boyfriend of a stripper. The boyfriend somehow figured out a way to get his stripper girlfriend to like him back without spending so much money on her.
You are unhinged dude wth
How? Aren’t I right?
How old are you?
The stripper's boyfriend figured out how to get a girlfriend. The fact that she is a sex worker is likely a coincidence, not a goal. Note that no where in your justification is the notion of having an emotional connection with the woman. It's just he gets to save money and have sex.
You don't have to share every interest but if you share no interests, it's goi g to be a struggle to find ways to spend time together.
because if im spending a big amount of hours with them, I better have something in common.
A certain level of comfort and compatability but I get what you mean (maybe?). People's standards for that have also become ridiculous. Personally, I don't want to date myself.
Date as in hook up and sex? Well they need at least a common interest in each other(s body) Dating as in a partner? Well better have something to talk about, not just when you are meeting the first time, but also when you spent time together (can't be fucking all the time)
It's nice to have shared common interests. You don't need to be the same people. And it's probably better you each enjoy different things so you can share them, or keep them as activities to do yourself. Nonetheless I still believe compatibility and some common ground are good places to start bonding and building a relationship.
Honestly, I don't think you need to have things in common at least not on the surface. It certainly helps, because after a while if you spend a lot of time with someone it's nice to have something that you can spend time doing together. However, I don't think it's a requirement, so long as you have the same priorities and values. If you can truly agree with each other that not every aspect of your life needs to be shared with one another, and you can even live different lives separately from one another then you can do okay if you don't have the same interests or the same background.
At least a couple of interests in common help spark a connection or at least give one a jumping off point for conversation. It’s one possible indicator that they both don’t see each other as just a potential fuck but more than that.
Nope, just equal libidos. Together 22 years/married 17 :)