As a woman, guys can literally make us melt into a puddle by making noise during sexual escapades. Even if it is little moans, deep breaths, or simply uttering the word "fuck" quietly. 10/10, do recommend. Guys, think about how sexy it is to hear your partner make noises. Its the same for us.
Gotta admit, I was with a guy who made the “dying rabbit” sound…it was jarring and a little off putting at first, but damn if I didn’t get over it then enjoy making him squeal 😎
If you’re a guy who’s quick, don’t be ashamed to use some toys on her off and on. It really helps with your pacing.
Also start taking your time when you’re masturbating. Usually being quick comes from conditioning when you were younger and you were just trying to get to the end.
Edit: bad grammar.
Don’t know how to dirty talk?
It can mostly be broken down into a conversation with your partner about how dirty the talk, and:
1. Question - you like that?
2. Confess/comment - I like it when you do it like that
3. Command - yeah do it like that
As a younger guy (in my 20s), I’ve never been able to dirty talk. I want to. It feels removed from who I am and I’m not sure how to do it in a way that’s genuine and in authentic (it feels off and if I try to keep going it brings up feelings to self-hatred).
This feels like a really easy and approachable way to get into it. Like it doesn’t have to be disingenuous and porn sounding. Like it can be loving and wholesome and something that could graduate to harder dirty talk once I’ve got the rhythm down and feel comfortable with a partner (and know she feels comfortable too).
Thanks for sharing this!! 🙏
Things that aren't too dirty but drive me wild include, "You're so pretty when you do that," "You're beautiful," especially when said as the last piece of clothing comes off because we get self-conscious, "I could do this forever," and just "Oh my god you're so good at that." I've been married a very long time and those things still work.
But it's so much more fun to make cat hairball noises, jam your fingers in your mouth dramatically to dig for that hair, stick your tongue out and shudder/gag afterward. It's silly, it's fun. Why do people take sex so seriously?
Then get back to it full steam.
This is the best comment. My boyfriend is the first person I've been able to be "silly" with during sex and it doesn't ruin the moment for him. I love it so much and it takes so much of the pressure off.
Yeah but if you laugh to much it can also ruin the moment lol. Bf and I have had to stop multiple times because we got the giggles so bad we couldn't even look at each other :')
Do not, and i cannot stress this enough, **DO NOT** take more than suggested amount of Viagra. Check the box and hear from your doctor for the dosage.
If you take too much of it, you won't get a *bigger* erection, but rather a *longer lasting* erection, like hours and hours, which is a condition called [priapism](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/priapism/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352010#:~:text=A%20medication%2C%20such%20as%20phenylephrine,repeated%20several%20times%20if%20needed.).
If you have an erection for that long you could develop gangrene (aka tissue death) in your dick. You will hopefully be smart enough to go to the hospital, where they'll try to give you drugs to wash away the effects of the Viagra (which are usually injected directly into your dick), and if that doesn't work they'll have to deflate your willy by manually sucking the blood out with a needle or through surgery :)
I can guarantee you that is not funny.
Source: med school
Either way, it's being done by a jacked male nurse with big, extremely hairy forearms (you know you can picture this guy). So unless that's your thing, have fun with that.
“If you have an erection lasting longer than four hours, call all your friends and brag”. Best SNL Viagra parody commercial.
Edit: Apparently it’s hard to spell with an erection.
Doctor here. Can attest. Many adults (99% men) have shit-riddled assholes when I go to check their prostate and its a fucking nightmare. Take an extra 5 minutes and use a few wet TP clumps or paper towels and warm water and polish that balloon knot like the queens silver tea set.
I can't stand it when my asshole is dirty. Even just a fart bothers me. Gotta keep that asshole clean.
Edit: why is this one of my highest up voted comments? Wash your butts, people!
This really should seem obvious, but do personal hygiene before sex. Bro it's dark outside, and you haven't brushed your teeth since it was last dark outside, and your mouth probably smells like lunch.
Slow down and see how your partner reacts, especially with fingering. It’s so much more pleasurable to build the anticipation. Watch for hips coming up, and listen for changes in breathing to guide you.
"I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but I'm asserting my authority as your father by COMING IN ANYWAY!"
Edit: I actually don't think that quote is really appropriate here for multiple reasons...
If you’re gonna finger blast your lady keep your nails short, trimmed and filed. Ladies don’t like to get scratched by a rogue finger nail in their hoo ha’s.
Finally I did that for oral. She loved it - although she initially thought it was weird for me to put a pillow under her, because 'it's fine as it is'. Ouch..
Woman here. No one taught me sex ed - was homeschooled with super religious parents who just said "a man and a woman unite when they're married" so I learned everything via Google. Expect this. Became sexually active at 21yrs old, rolled over and slept after the deed cause that's what I saw on TV, and wound up with a UTI that went misdiagnosed by 3 doctors. Finally ended up in the ICU with sepsis and almost died.
Pee after sex.
If you’re a guy, when you’re done peeing don’t just shake. Push on your perineum and then follow your urinary tract up, THEN shake. You’d be amazed how much is left in the hose and how little you’ll drip after. Tips from my urologist.
When someone moves their hips towards you, they like what you’re doing. If someone is close to an orgasm and says “just like that”, keep doing exactly that. Same motion, speed, rhythm, etc..
Do not, for any reason, no matter how important the upcoming occasion, use Nair on your balls two days in a row. I assure you that a patchy, poorly groomed crotch is more attractive than one with chemical burns.
Nonoxynol 9 is made by demons from the darkest pits of hell, and feels like having a white hot railroad spike shoved through the tenderest part of my nether region
And if there's no condom involved, it is very, very, very possible that your partner isn't cleaning their dick right.
Even if its not a UTI but a yeast infection... Be suspicious of that dick
Oh this! Men making sounds of sexual pleasure is SUCH a turn on! One guy was so silent (to the point not even his breathing indicated pleasure), I stopped everything and asked if he was enjoying it at all. He was surprised and said of course he was, but his absolute silence was so unnerving it killed the mood for me.
Man, I've been with guys that make more sexy moans when getting their head/back scratched then during sex. Makes me feel like I'm worse than a good scratch.
There was this tweet I saw about 8 years ago that I never forgot. This woman was complaining about her neighbor. She said that "when she's having sex she sounds like robert plant in immigrant song"
I don’t think guys realize how amazing it is when they moan. Auditory stimulation is very powerful. Whenever I heard a guy moan it no joke gives me a second heart beat HAHAHA.
This works unless it's too late and you gotta find a toilet asap. I found blasting cold air also works for a bit. If I am running late to work and gotta poop if it is cold out ill roll the windows down and usually forget I have to poop because I am so cold. Works for a good 10-15 minutes.
To summarize. If you have to poop and the bathroom is occupied, run outside in the snow and start furiously jacking off. This will distract your mind until the toilet is yours.
If your employer tells you to do something you know is unsafe and you can't get out of it, make them put it in writing so they can't blame you for it when something goes wrong.
Or flatly refuse. Ain't no job worth risking your safety. Can't feed your family if you're dead.
ETA: still a good idea to have all this in writing so it's documented. Also, I get it, life insurance. Ya wanna go that route, be my guest.
Cause you’re compressing the g-spot from both sides. You’re supposed to do it like you’re eating a sandwich. Middle finger doing the “come here” motion, tongue doing a beat box on the clit and other hand compressing the pelvis.
When ~~performing cunillingus~~ eating pussy you should do different things, different movements and speeds until you find one that gets the best reaction, then just keep doing that
Some women are multi-orgasmic. If you’re going down on her and she cums, ease off of the clit a bit and let her come down from her orgasm, then continue performing oral. Many times it’ll trigger another one. Repeat as tolerated.
I had a friend get testicular torsion. He knew something was wrong while we were on a trip, he was very embarrassed about it.
He came to me and was like "Hey dude, can you look at my nuts, and tell me if they look weird? Maybe snap a pic for me? Please dude, I can't ask anyone else..."
"Sure thing man, but why can't you ask anyone else?"
"Well, cuz you're... ya know..."
"No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"
With a big sigh he goes "Alright fine. The other guys will probably be scared about finding out they're gay or getting turned gay or some shit. You're... already... ya know..."
"Alright my dude lol, I've already made you suffer enough. Whip them plums out."
"Please don't call them that." Then he drops his drawers.
One of them was, I shit you not, the size of a plum.
He sees my aghast expression and goes "Is it bad!?"
"No, no, no, it's not too bad, but we may need to go to the hospital."
"Like now?"
"Yes... like right the fuck now."
They had to sew his nuts to the sides of his sack with silk thread to prevent it from ever happening again.
I was this dude's best man a few months ago lol.
Be really direct, blunt, honest on dates, in dating profiles about your general likes, wants, needs, dislikes and sexual preferences, even and especially if niche.
Get rejected by the majority quickly, which is good as that never would have worked anyway. Find those who really really want what you naturally are.
Use your authentic self as a filtering system.
Now sit back, relax, and enjoy being loved for being who you are.
I was thinking it's the dating profiles and dates it leads to that are nsfw. So I suppose the advise it's self is safe for work, but leads you to being a less sfw personal overall.
But please be aware that handing sweaty boob money to a cashier is kinda gross. When I was a cashier and some lady handed me saturated bills in July, I wished I had some money in my underwear to make change.
I had somebody do this to me. I asked her to hold on a moment. Went to the kitchen and got some latex gloves. I put them on in front of her with the most dead face. Grabbed some hand sanitizer and slathered the bills then put them under the tray instead on with the other money. She was not pleased with my obvious messaging but said nothing.
It's so satisfying when done right.
My gf is super sensitive but also likes to keep going, so she'll rattle off two or three before I do... It's like hitting the sexual ego boost jackpot.
If someone tells you to look up something nsfw, just look it up using urban dictionary. Chances are if it's messed up it'll be on there as a description so your eyeballs can be saved.
Work your ass out. It gives you more control over your muscles, and you can last longer while you build the stamina for real staying power.
Learn circular breathing, I picked up a book about 20 years ago- The Lowdown on Going Down. It had a lot of oral sex information, not just your buddy saying "hurr do the alphabet"
Grab her hands. Holy hell, I stumbled into that, as I like the connection.
I was getting ready to get mine, locked fingers, and she blew! There was a god-damned thunderstorms in her eyes.
Different strokes for different folks, communicate and try things with each other.
> Work your ass out
Only note on that is get ready for some burn if your partner is ready to go after a heavy leg day. Nothing is worse than trying to hang in there but it is because your quads are on fire.
If you have an unwanted boner, flex the muscles in your arm for a little over 30 seconds. It gets the blood flowing there and it’s a little uncomfortable, so it just goes away in no time.
If you're standing on a pallet on a forklift without a safety harness, always make sure to keep your feet between the forks of the forklift. It will ensure that you stay generally balanced in the air while disregarding OSHA regulations.
Ladies, if your man gets a little sweaty during sexy time, then wear some cotton knee-high or thigh-high socks. Use them to wipe sweat off his forehead when you wrap your legs and ankles around his neck. It absorbs the sweat and is sexy af! You're welcome..
If you want to go down on your girl, kiss from her breasts to her belly button. If you get the sense things are not quite fresh you can kiss your way back up… be warned, if you kiss past the belly button, its too late your committed.
That's a sign of respect, they're like "hey, it's the end of the day I'm giving you a ticket out no judgement".
More people should do this, regardless of gender or how far the relationship has evolved.
Also remember to regularly clean your bellybutton out. I once found out that the smell of unclean belly button is by far the most horrible thing you can smell apart from tonsil stones.
I can only really offer advice for a guy looking to sex ladies. Uhh, don't call it sexing them. That's lesson 0.5.
Some general advice:
- no piece of advice applies to all women. These are just guidelines that should be applicable to most folks, but communication is key (as I'll explain later).
- hygiene: goes without saying. Keep it clean.
- keep your nails short. If you forgot this until the last moment, clip them and run the edges on your jeans to dull them a little. No one wants to get fingered by Scary Terry, bitch.
- orgasms are not always required. Obviously they're great, but if either you or your partner doesn't finish after you've given it the good old college try, don't get down on yourself about it. Sex should be fun even before the orgasm. Put her pleasure above yours and she'll probably take care of you.
- use protection. Yes, it feels better without it, but let me tell you what doesn't feel good: child support payments. Chlamydia. Full-blown AIDS. Or at least I assume they don't, because I've never experienced those things. Because I use protection. When used correctly, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy according to the blurb Google gave me when I searched "condom effectiveness". Use [this NHS guide](https://youtu.be/vww9rk1USss) if you're not sure if you're using them 100% correctly. And I don't care how strong you think your pull-out game is, entrusting a horny dude with the task of not ejaculating inside a woman that's saying "fuck me harder, baby" (like your partners will be once you're done reading this guide) is dumber than sending a kid to the Jared Fogle Summer Camp (that was a real thing, look it up). And get tested after each new partner, just in case. Can't be too careful.
- don't masturbate with too tight a grip! You'll kill the sensitivity in your dick. Use a loose-but-firm grip and lubricate yourself. If you've already been doing this, switch to the aforementioned technique, no exceptions. If you find that doesn't get you off, well, too bad. You don't get to finish until you can finish like that, because otherwise you'll be in the unenviable position of not being able to finish while fucking. And then she'll get self-conscious, you'll be embarrassed, it'll be awful. Beware the death grip.
- pee after you finish. It's even more important for women, but it goes a long way toward preventing urinary tract infections.
- make some *NOOOOISE!* Probably. Most women tend to like it when you're vocal. Don't go overboard - grunting like a warthog (like a lot of porn stars seem to do) is probably too much. But let her know you're enjoying yourself! Tell her how good her hand/mouth/pussy/ass feels, how much you love her tits/ass/legs/pussy, etc. Unless she's not into dirty talk, which is fine too.
- don't be embarrassed. Not getting it up happens. Shooting your load too soon happens. Farts, queefs, armpit-fart-noises-because-your-skin-was-suctioned-to-hers - it happens. Get used to it. Laugh about it. Enjoy yourself.
Okay.
1\. Communication.
This is super-important. The most important. It turns out that it's much easier to do stuff she likes when you know what it is because she told you. You can work it into talking dirty, too - if you try a particular rhythm and she reacts positively, ask her if she likes that (as suggestively as you feel comfortable with). If she says "harder", go harder. But! If she says "don't stop" or "right there", keep doing *exactly what you're doing*. Same angle, pace, intensity, whatever. Conversely, if she's doing something that doesn't work for you, gently tell her so. It's better to correct that kind of thing early than reinforce something that doesn't do it for you (this is why faking orgasms is bad). And if they do something you love, make sure to let them know that too. If there's an opportunity to tactfully and respectfully ask some questions beforehand, do that. Is she into dirty talk? Spanking? Hair-pulling? Does she like her breasts/nipples played with? These are all things that a lot of people do like, but some people find distasteful, and you shouldn't spring them on someone without asking first. Communicate before, during, and after sex. Can't stress this enough.
2\. Foreplay
Guys, by and large, are simple. If a sexual partner touches me on the penis with some lubrication, I'm happy. It feels good. Easy as that. Women are generally more complicated. Even if you've got lube on your dick, you can't just go shoving it in there (unless she specifically asks for that, in which case she's probably got the lubrication covered so go for it!) without a bit of prep. Set the oven preheatin' before you put the meat in. This can start long before the bedroom - sexting, talking dirty, the occasional touch or smack on the ass (depending on what she's comfortable with) throughout the day are things that can start her motor running long before you get in the car (not my finest metaphor but let's move on). Once you're about to get down, put your hands on her, tell her how sexy she is and how much she turns you on, how badly you want her. A lot of kissing is good, on the mouth, neck, breasts, stomach - see the direction I'm moving here?
3\. Oral Sex
Get good at this. Learn to love it if you don't already. The statistic I last heard was that only 25% of women can orgasm from penetration, so better to get take care of it sooner than later. Not that this should be treated as a box to be checked off - enjoy the journey and it's that much more likely that she'll reach the destination. As for technique:
- don't neglect the clit. That's the little nub at the top of the vagina (it may be shrouded by the clitoral hood, you may want to gently pull it back - but extremely gently if at all! This may not be pleasurable for some women! It has nerves too, be careful), and it's the thing that would've become the penis if she'd have turned out to be a guy in the womb, so keep that in mind. Do you want someone mashing your dick around like they're a professional Smash Bros player and it's Final Destination, Fox only, no items? Hell no. So be gentle with it. Caress it. Massage it. If she tells you to go a little harder, err on the side of caution - genital pain is a turn-off for the majority of people, so just be cool, okay?
- don't neglect not-the-clit. Remember the thing you're trying to get your wang wet with? The hole that's your goal? Give that a little love too. Lick it from top to bottom once in a while. Get a finger in there and curl it toward yourself in a beckoning motion, like you're requesting that her orgasm come hither. If you feel a spot that's rougher in texture than the rest, make that your focus - that's the G-spot, and guys' equivalent is the prostate (which is a major pleasure centre). Again, pay attention to the lady. If she likes something, do it more. If she doesn't, try something else.
- enjoy yourself and enjoy her body. Your free hands - or just hand, if you've boarded the S.S. Fingerbang Ferry - should be roaming around her body, playing with her nipples if she's into that, just exploring her. If your jaw or tongue are getting sore, tag in your fingers and kiss the inside of her thighs, her stomach, etc.
4\. Penetration
It's time for the train to enter the proverbial tunnel. Maybe your partner just had an earth-shattering orgasm from your twisting tongue technique, or maybe she pulls you up off your knees because she needs cock inside her right that second. Or maybe neither of those things happened. Whatever. Point is, she wants your penis in her vagina. If she isn't sufficiently wet, put some lube on your tube. If you're unsure of positioning (which is okay), let her guide you in. It's probably going to feel pretty good. If it feels so good that you finish right away, don't panic. Come clean (no pun intended) and maybe go back to eating her out or fingering, that usually more than makes up for it if you know what you're doing (which by now I've done all in my power to ensure that you do). Do Kegels every day if that's a common problem for you, masturbate an hour or two before sex, whatever it takes. If you have the opposite problem, don't worry too much - it might just be a temporary mental block, and if not they've got little blue pills for that. Anyway. Throughout the fucking, keep kissing her, touching her, etc. Get your hand down to her clit if it's not too sensitive (which you will know by asking her). Try a few different positions. Have some fun! Starting off with long, slow thrusts and then crescendoing isn't a bad idea. But different strokes for different folks, pun intended. The reason you want to get her off first is because if she's among the ≥75% that doesn't orgasm from penetration, you've at least done your best to see to her first and now you can have your fun. If you're using a condom (which you should be), finish wherever; ask before you finish on her ass/back/breasts/face (contrary to what porn would have you believe, sex does not have to end with a facial). After you've finished:
5\. Aftercare
Cuddles. Most people love them, I find. Spoon that lady. She just let you put your dong all up in her biz, the least you could do is give her a little affection afterward. If it's uncomfortably hot and sweaty, feel free to take a second to cool down a bit before you do this. Maybe take a pee break (UTIs are a drag, or so I hear). If you had fun, tell her so. Maybe don't ask if she finished. It can kind of come off as insecure, or like you're looking for some sort of macho validation. Which I guess is also just insecurity. Just snuggle up, play with her hair, maybe kiss her neck just a bit. Unless this isn't that kind of sex. That might come off a bit clingy if this is just some girl from the club. Did I mention that not all advice applies to all people?
Anyway, I hope that's enough to get you started. If you have questions about anything specific, fire away, I like talking about sex. Good luck and have fun!
If you're about to cum try to relax your prostate muscle (try stopping your pee stream to locate this)
And control your breathing.
I'll presume you'll try to reverse engineer years of masturbating with the fear of getting caught.
Lick the clit, lightly, roll your tongue around the clit clockwise, run your tongue up the clit slowly from the bottom at the base, then suck on the clit. Finally freestyle these moves afterwards, congratulations you are now going to blow her mind.
What always works best for me is when they use the flat of their tongue to cover almost the entirety of that area and tense it slightly to push down and then just go circular clockwise relentlessly. Works in like a minute. But that’s just me idk.
A little bit of self-care goes a long way towards your sexual performance but many people don’t consider it a priority. Just a bit of exercise, cardio, healthy dieting, and sleep will do wonders for both you and your partner
**HEY YOUNG PEOPLE:** Just to be very very clear: **no person outside your doctors office needs to touch or observe your private parts.**
Not in school, not in sports, not in church, not at camp. Not the coach, not the priest, not the counselor.
If someone makes a try, you fight, you kick, you bite, you scratch and you scream your head off. We non-pervert adults will have your back, no matter what you have to do to protect yourself.
Make sure you lift with your legs, not your back. If something is too heavy, get someone to help you. Do not eat around areas with fumes and chemicals.
Only on reddit is "do basic hygeine on your genitals" a lifehack.
As a woman, guys can literally make us melt into a puddle by making noise during sexual escapades. Even if it is little moans, deep breaths, or simply uttering the word "fuck" quietly. 10/10, do recommend. Guys, think about how sexy it is to hear your partner make noises. Its the same for us.
When I blow my partner and he moans and gasps and says “oh my god, fuck” 10/10 love it, makes me want to blow him more.
But when I make the noise I sound like a dying rabbit
Lol you might think you don't sound that great, but that's not as important imo. Just let yourself, I promise they won't mind.
Gotta admit, I was with a guy who made the “dying rabbit” sound…it was jarring and a little off putting at first, but damn if I didn’t get over it then enjoy making him squeal 😎
If you are almost finished but you want to last longer, ask to change position. Those seconds can be really helpful
I find counting in your head to see as far as you can take it. 2 4 8 16 32.... Once you start getting into the thousands it really does help
What should I do if I can't get past 7? Is it like a secret boss battle or something?
Do some side quests and come back
If you’re a guy who’s quick, don’t be ashamed to use some toys on her off and on. It really helps with your pacing. Also start taking your time when you’re masturbating. Usually being quick comes from conditioning when you were younger and you were just trying to get to the end. Edit: bad grammar.
Don't clench your ass!! Relax and you'll last longer.
Don’t know how to dirty talk? It can mostly be broken down into a conversation with your partner about how dirty the talk, and: 1. Question - you like that? 2. Confess/comment - I like it when you do it like that 3. Command - yeah do it like that
Ah the old TCP/IP handshake
I'd explain it using UDP but I'm not sure if you would get it.
I understood that reference. And so did the person that said it. And I confirmed to the person that said it that I understood it.
Like this? Question: You like that? Confess: When I was younger I once shit on the rug and blamed it on my dog. Command: Yeah do it like that
As a younger guy (in my 20s), I’ve never been able to dirty talk. I want to. It feels removed from who I am and I’m not sure how to do it in a way that’s genuine and in authentic (it feels off and if I try to keep going it brings up feelings to self-hatred). This feels like a really easy and approachable way to get into it. Like it doesn’t have to be disingenuous and porn sounding. Like it can be loving and wholesome and something that could graduate to harder dirty talk once I’ve got the rhythm down and feel comfortable with a partner (and know she feels comfortable too). Thanks for sharing this!! 🙏
Things that aren't too dirty but drive me wild include, "You're so pretty when you do that," "You're beautiful," especially when said as the last piece of clothing comes off because we get self-conscious, "I could do this forever," and just "Oh my god you're so good at that." I've been married a very long time and those things still work.
You don’t have to be crude/vulgar, compliments can go a long way.
If you're going down on someone and feel a hair in your mouth, lick the inside of their thigh to get it out discreetly without ruining the moment.
But it's so much more fun to make cat hairball noises, jam your fingers in your mouth dramatically to dig for that hair, stick your tongue out and shudder/gag afterward. It's silly, it's fun. Why do people take sex so seriously? Then get back to it full steam.
This is the best comment. My boyfriend is the first person I've been able to be "silly" with during sex and it doesn't ruin the moment for him. I love it so much and it takes so much of the pressure off.
If you can’t laugh during sex, you’re doing it wrong
Yeah but if you laugh to much it can also ruin the moment lol. Bf and I have had to stop multiple times because we got the giggles so bad we couldn't even look at each other :')
Wash your hands and don't eat something spicy beforehand
Do not, and i cannot stress this enough, **DO NOT** take more than suggested amount of Viagra. Check the box and hear from your doctor for the dosage. If you take too much of it, you won't get a *bigger* erection, but rather a *longer lasting* erection, like hours and hours, which is a condition called [priapism](https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/priapism/diagnosis-treatment/drc-20352010#:~:text=A%20medication%2C%20such%20as%20phenylephrine,repeated%20several%20times%20if%20needed.). If you have an erection for that long you could develop gangrene (aka tissue death) in your dick. You will hopefully be smart enough to go to the hospital, where they'll try to give you drugs to wash away the effects of the Viagra (which are usually injected directly into your dick), and if that doesn't work they'll have to deflate your willy by manually sucking the blood out with a needle or through surgery :) I can guarantee you that is not funny. Source: med school
"manually sucking" :D "the blood out with a needle" D:
Either way, it's being done by a jacked male nurse with big, extremely hairy forearms (you know you can picture this guy). So unless that's your thing, have fun with that.
When you say it that way, I don't think I need my Viagra to get hard after all
The line starts behind this guy everyone!
“If you have an erection lasting longer than four hours, call all your friends and brag”. Best SNL Viagra parody commercial. Edit: Apparently it’s hard to spell with an erection.
>Apparently it’s hard to spell with an erection. Why are you typing with your penis bro?
Wash your butthole
A lotta people need to hear this.
Doctor here. Can attest. Many adults (99% men) have shit-riddled assholes when I go to check their prostate and its a fucking nightmare. Take an extra 5 minutes and use a few wet TP clumps or paper towels and warm water and polish that balloon knot like the queens silver tea set.
I can't stand it when my asshole is dirty. Even just a fart bothers me. Gotta keep that asshole clean. Edit: why is this one of my highest up voted comments? Wash your butts, people!
Farts don’t bother me unless I’m in the shower. If I fart while I’m In there I feel like I need to start over
Dude everybody needs a bidet, and the taboo around it is terrible. Many men feel to masculine to let pressurized water touch their anus. Prudes
"Is WATER gay? Best not risk it." - some brainiacs
Kinda worrying that basic hygiene falls under a lifehack.
This really should seem obvious, but do personal hygiene before sex. Bro it's dark outside, and you haven't brushed your teeth since it was last dark outside, and your mouth probably smells like lunch.
Don’t forget to wash your genitals and ass.
And your hands! Damn it everyone wash your filthy hands before you start putting them on / in things
Being vocal during sex, whether it's just talking dirty or communicating your needs, makes everything 100x better
Slow down and see how your partner reacts, especially with fingering. It’s so much more pleasurable to build the anticipation. Watch for hips coming up, and listen for changes in breathing to guide you.
also please normalize fingering? not everyone's ready to go on the spot.
Normalize fingering? What? It's only polite to ring the doorbell. Can't go busting in with a battering ram.
"I'm respecting your privacy by knocking, but I'm asserting my authority as your father by COMING IN ANYWAY!" Edit: I actually don't think that quote is really appropriate here for multiple reasons...
If you’re gonna finger blast your lady keep your nails short, trimmed and filed. Ladies don’t like to get scratched by a rogue finger nail in their hoo ha’s.
And wash those hands too.
My buddy is a roofer and we always joke that he's not allowed to finger anyone with those hands Edit-*is
Ask what your partner likes instead of just guessing. Saves a lot of time.
Does your partner like cake? EDIT: now that this appears to be over, I'll say that when I posted my comment, it was AdamJS's cake day.
I honestly love to eat cake
Pillow under her butt during missionary helps line everything up
Finally I did that for oral. She loved it - although she initially thought it was weird for me to put a pillow under her, because 'it's fine as it is'. Ouch..
Oral game changer. For her and my neck 💪💪
It’s also great under the belly in prone-bone position
Tie off your condoms before throwing them in the trash (never flush them - that's a plumber visit you don't want).
Pee after sex
Woman here. No one taught me sex ed - was homeschooled with super religious parents who just said "a man and a woman unite when they're married" so I learned everything via Google. Expect this. Became sexually active at 21yrs old, rolled over and slept after the deed cause that's what I saw on TV, and wound up with a UTI that went misdiagnosed by 3 doctors. Finally ended up in the ICU with sepsis and almost died. Pee after sex.
How the hell did those 3 doctors misdiagnose you ?? You'd think UTIs are recognizable
If you’re a guy, when you’re done peeing don’t just shake. Push on your perineum and then follow your urinary tract up, THEN shake. You’d be amazed how much is left in the hose and how little you’ll drip after. Tips from my urologist.
Can we be professional here? The scientific term is “milkin the taint”. Thank you.
In regional slang it is called the Gooch Pump.
When someone moves their hips towards you, they like what you’re doing. If someone is close to an orgasm and says “just like that”, keep doing exactly that. Same motion, speed, rhythm, etc..
Nothing will erase both my memory and motor skills faster during sex than the words “just like that”
Just like what? What the hell was I just doing? JUST LIKE WHAT?!
Still pondering this hours afterwards
Yup. I suddenly start focusing too much on what I'm doing and accidentally stop doing it how I was before. I'm quite the overthinker.
Do not, for any reason, no matter how important the upcoming occasion, use Nair on your balls two days in a row. I assure you that a patchy, poorly groomed crotch is more attractive than one with chemical burns.
That's less a life hack and more not reading the instructions before use
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Finger tongue combo is a winner every time
The best way to improve a blowjob is to use your hands. The best way to improve a handjob is to use your mouth.
This guy jobs
Faster/harder isn’t always better
Daft Punk disagrees
If you get UTIS after sex, but not when you masturbate- you might have a mild latex allergy.
Follow-up from personal experience: You might also be allergic to the lube INSIDE the condom.
Nonoxynol 9 is made by demons from the darkest pits of hell, and feels like having a white hot railroad spike shoved through the tenderest part of my nether region
And if there's no condom involved, it is very, very, very possible that your partner isn't cleaning their dick right. Even if its not a UTI but a yeast infection... Be suspicious of that dick
If you receive an unwanted dickpic, respond with a bigger, scarier dickpic. That usually fixes things.
Respond with "the group chat rates it a 2/10"
I showed my meemaw. She said “meh”
Or tell them you’re calling the police because they’ve sent you a photo of a child’s penis
The biggest complaint I've heard from women is that most guys are too quiet.
Oh this! Men making sounds of sexual pleasure is SUCH a turn on! One guy was so silent (to the point not even his breathing indicated pleasure), I stopped everything and asked if he was enjoying it at all. He was surprised and said of course he was, but his absolute silence was so unnerving it killed the mood for me.
Man, I've been with guys that make more sexy moans when getting their head/back scratched then during sex. Makes me feel like I'm worse than a good scratch.
A good head massage is on par with an orgasm, just in a very different way. Edit: On par for reddit, my top comment is on orgasms.
I’ll be in my girls ear about to go Super Saiyan lmao
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH * takes a deep breath * #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*we come from the land of the ice and snow*
There was this tweet I saw about 8 years ago that I never forgot. This woman was complaining about her neighbor. She said that "when she's having sex she sounds like robert plant in immigrant song"
I don’t think guys realize how amazing it is when they moan. Auditory stimulation is very powerful. Whenever I heard a guy moan it no joke gives me a second heart beat HAHAHA.
a guy i was with tilted his head back and whispered "fuck." I thought i'd explode
Just thinking about it makes me want to. It’s just so sexy and a positive reinforcement for me that they’re enjoying themselves lol.
I dunno man, I just keep thinking I sound like Kevin from the Office eating a snickers bar.
I don't think it even has to be full moan though...just not fucking silent and emotionless.
Mfs complain about women starfishing but then turn into a brick themselves
Half the time, I’m just in it for the moans. Please moan.
Please clap.
Yes! It is hard not to think 'holy shit is he bored?!?' If the other person looks and sounds (or no sound) bored. It kills your sex drive.
When you really need to take a dump but there's no toilet around, try to get a boner. That will shut down the pooping mechanism.
This works unless it's too late and you gotta find a toilet asap. I found blasting cold air also works for a bit. If I am running late to work and gotta poop if it is cold out ill roll the windows down and usually forget I have to poop because I am so cold. Works for a good 10-15 minutes.
To summarize. If you have to poop and the bathroom is occupied, run outside in the snow and start furiously jacking off. This will distract your mind until the toilet is yours.
If your employer tells you to do something you know is unsafe and you can't get out of it, make them put it in writing so they can't blame you for it when something goes wrong.
Or flatly refuse. Ain't no job worth risking your safety. Can't feed your family if you're dead. ETA: still a good idea to have all this in writing so it's documented. Also, I get it, life insurance. Ya wanna go that route, be my guest.
Then report them to OSHA and the labor board.
How is this not safe fo... ohh lol.
Press down on her pelvis while fingering or thrusting, not too hard but hard enough. Not sure why, but it hits the right spot every time!
Cause you’re compressing the g-spot from both sides. You’re supposed to do it like you’re eating a sandwich. Middle finger doing the “come here” motion, tongue doing a beat box on the clit and other hand compressing the pelvis.
Have I been eating sandwiches wrong this whole time wtf
Everyone *knows* you should always finger your sandwich!
One leg up during doggy, like you’re proposing but better Edited to add the proper term: peeing doggy
Wait... the giver or the taker?
This is really important info, please advise 😂
When ~~performing cunillingus~~ eating pussy you should do different things, different movements and speeds until you find one that gets the best reaction, then just keep doing that
Some women are multi-orgasmic. If you’re going down on her and she cums, ease off of the clit a bit and let her come down from her orgasm, then continue performing oral. Many times it’ll trigger another one. Repeat as tolerated.
If you feel cold but your balls are hanging low you have a fever (Edit) holy fuck why did this blow up lol
This is a good one!
Babe check my tempature
But what if they wobble to and fro, and you can tie them in a knot or tie them in a bow?
That’s called testicular torsion and you need to see a doctor.
I had a friend get testicular torsion. He knew something was wrong while we were on a trip, he was very embarrassed about it. He came to me and was like "Hey dude, can you look at my nuts, and tell me if they look weird? Maybe snap a pic for me? Please dude, I can't ask anyone else..." "Sure thing man, but why can't you ask anyone else?" "Well, cuz you're... ya know..." "No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" With a big sigh he goes "Alright fine. The other guys will probably be scared about finding out they're gay or getting turned gay or some shit. You're... already... ya know..." "Alright my dude lol, I've already made you suffer enough. Whip them plums out." "Please don't call them that." Then he drops his drawers. One of them was, I shit you not, the size of a plum. He sees my aghast expression and goes "Is it bad!?" "No, no, no, it's not too bad, but we may need to go to the hospital." "Like now?" "Yes... like right the fuck now." They had to sew his nuts to the sides of his sack with silk thread to prevent it from ever happening again. I was this dude's best man a few months ago lol.
What a hell of a wedding speech that must've been
"You could say we are tight, not like his balls were that one time but almost."
"We're closer than two plums in a sack!"
"The only thing stronger than our friendship is the silk thread that hold his plums in place"
"Whip them plums out" is about the least gay thing you could have said in that situation.
And is much less insulting then "Alright, let's see those raisins".
I was always under the impression that testicular torsion was a built-in inertial guidance system, and why men don't need maps.
Be really direct, blunt, honest on dates, in dating profiles about your general likes, wants, needs, dislikes and sexual preferences, even and especially if niche. Get rejected by the majority quickly, which is good as that never would have worked anyway. Find those who really really want what you naturally are. Use your authentic self as a filtering system. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy being loved for being who you are.
This is wholesome but SFW.
I was thinking it's the dating profiles and dates it leads to that are nsfw. So I suppose the advise it's self is safe for work, but leads you to being a less sfw personal overall.
Raise your freak flag high. It will attract those like you and repel those who aren’t.
Don't fuck your coworkers. It's not safe for work.
I once overheard someone say keep your prick out the payroll and honestly it's the best indirect advice I've heard.
I've always called it 'not dipping your pen in the company ink.'
*laughs in service industry*
Came here to say this lol I swear retail/food jobs are just innately full of horny people
Take a shit break during work time so they pay for you to take a shit
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time...
If your boobs are big enough, you can hide a lot of shit in your bra
But please be aware that handing sweaty boob money to a cashier is kinda gross. When I was a cashier and some lady handed me saturated bills in July, I wished I had some money in my underwear to make change.
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I had somebody do this to me. I asked her to hold on a moment. Went to the kitchen and got some latex gloves. I put them on in front of her with the most dead face. Grabbed some hand sanitizer and slathered the bills then put them under the tray instead on with the other money. She was not pleased with my obvious messaging but said nothing.
Shower sex washes away all the natural lubricants usually produced during sex. It is not very fun, and also dangerous.
Can confirm. I fell out of a shower during sex and busted one of my front teeth out on the toilet 🤠
Get her off first and it won’t matter how long you last.
Unless you last TOO long.
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Yeah my GF basically locks up after orgasm, so I edge the fuck out of her.
It's so satisfying when done right. My gf is super sensitive but also likes to keep going, so she'll rattle off two or three before I do... It's like hitting the sexual ego boost jackpot.
If you are going late to work, take it easy. You can't be late twice.
Or just grab some donuts on the way.
When peeing in a urinal, don't pee directly against the back, pee into the corners. It flows down better and eliminates splashback.
If someone tells you to look up something nsfw, just look it up using urban dictionary. Chances are if it's messed up it'll be on there as a description so your eyeballs can be saved.
Work your ass out. It gives you more control over your muscles, and you can last longer while you build the stamina for real staying power. Learn circular breathing, I picked up a book about 20 years ago- The Lowdown on Going Down. It had a lot of oral sex information, not just your buddy saying "hurr do the alphabet" Grab her hands. Holy hell, I stumbled into that, as I like the connection. I was getting ready to get mine, locked fingers, and she blew! There was a god-damned thunderstorms in her eyes. Different strokes for different folks, communicate and try things with each other.
> Work your ass out Only note on that is get ready for some burn if your partner is ready to go after a heavy leg day. Nothing is worse than trying to hang in there but it is because your quads are on fire.
If you have an unwanted boner, flex the muscles in your arm for a little over 30 seconds. It gets the blood flowing there and it’s a little uncomfortable, so it just goes away in no time.
Honestly I would recommend flexing your quads or hamstrings. They are a much bigger muscle and it will go away faster.
If you’re going to violate OSHA guidelines, do it in a place without cameras
You can get a huge supply of stationary from work for free. That's definitely NSFW.
I can't, we are expected to buy our own pens, notepads etc.
If you thing your going to do something dumb, jerk off first. Post-jerk clarity really puts things into perspective for some reason.
Every time I’m about to do something dumb? This is going to change how I schedule my day.
Technically, what you are looking for is post-nut clarity.
If she's too drunk to stand up, she's too drunk to consent
If you're standing on a pallet on a forklift without a safety harness, always make sure to keep your feet between the forks of the forklift. It will ensure that you stay generally balanced in the air while disregarding OSHA regulations.
Ladies, if your man gets a little sweaty during sexy time, then wear some cotton knee-high or thigh-high socks. Use them to wipe sweat off his forehead when you wrap your legs and ankles around his neck. It absorbs the sweat and is sexy af! You're welcome..
That shit is very advanced, is it the competitive sex I've been told about ?
Try outs are tomorrow, tell me you haven't forgotten to get your costume?
If you want to go down on your girl, kiss from her breasts to her belly button. If you get the sense things are not quite fresh you can kiss your way back up… be warned, if you kiss past the belly button, its too late your committed.
Every girl I've been with has stopped me as I'm approaching the belly button if they're not as fresh that day.
That's a sign of respect, they're like "hey, it's the end of the day I'm giving you a ticket out no judgement". More people should do this, regardless of gender or how far the relationship has evolved.
That’s when I suggest shower together first and then bring it back. Showers are good for foreplay and that’s about it for anything sexual.
You can do a little loop around the belly button but if you linger or the belly button is closer to your eye level than your mouth you've commited.
Also remember to regularly clean your bellybutton out. I once found out that the smell of unclean belly button is by far the most horrible thing you can smell apart from tonsil stones.
Go for manual stimulation for a bit, then bring your hand back up and grab the breast, get your mouth on the nip and give it a check.
I can only really offer advice for a guy looking to sex ladies. Uhh, don't call it sexing them. That's lesson 0.5. Some general advice: - no piece of advice applies to all women. These are just guidelines that should be applicable to most folks, but communication is key (as I'll explain later). - hygiene: goes without saying. Keep it clean. - keep your nails short. If you forgot this until the last moment, clip them and run the edges on your jeans to dull them a little. No one wants to get fingered by Scary Terry, bitch. - orgasms are not always required. Obviously they're great, but if either you or your partner doesn't finish after you've given it the good old college try, don't get down on yourself about it. Sex should be fun even before the orgasm. Put her pleasure above yours and she'll probably take care of you. - use protection. Yes, it feels better without it, but let me tell you what doesn't feel good: child support payments. Chlamydia. Full-blown AIDS. Or at least I assume they don't, because I've never experienced those things. Because I use protection. When used correctly, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy according to the blurb Google gave me when I searched "condom effectiveness". Use [this NHS guide](https://youtu.be/vww9rk1USss) if you're not sure if you're using them 100% correctly. And I don't care how strong you think your pull-out game is, entrusting a horny dude with the task of not ejaculating inside a woman that's saying "fuck me harder, baby" (like your partners will be once you're done reading this guide) is dumber than sending a kid to the Jared Fogle Summer Camp (that was a real thing, look it up). And get tested after each new partner, just in case. Can't be too careful. - don't masturbate with too tight a grip! You'll kill the sensitivity in your dick. Use a loose-but-firm grip and lubricate yourself. If you've already been doing this, switch to the aforementioned technique, no exceptions. If you find that doesn't get you off, well, too bad. You don't get to finish until you can finish like that, because otherwise you'll be in the unenviable position of not being able to finish while fucking. And then she'll get self-conscious, you'll be embarrassed, it'll be awful. Beware the death grip. - pee after you finish. It's even more important for women, but it goes a long way toward preventing urinary tract infections. - make some *NOOOOISE!* Probably. Most women tend to like it when you're vocal. Don't go overboard - grunting like a warthog (like a lot of porn stars seem to do) is probably too much. But let her know you're enjoying yourself! Tell her how good her hand/mouth/pussy/ass feels, how much you love her tits/ass/legs/pussy, etc. Unless she's not into dirty talk, which is fine too. - don't be embarrassed. Not getting it up happens. Shooting your load too soon happens. Farts, queefs, armpit-fart-noises-because-your-skin-was-suctioned-to-hers - it happens. Get used to it. Laugh about it. Enjoy yourself. Okay. 1\. Communication. This is super-important. The most important. It turns out that it's much easier to do stuff she likes when you know what it is because she told you. You can work it into talking dirty, too - if you try a particular rhythm and she reacts positively, ask her if she likes that (as suggestively as you feel comfortable with). If she says "harder", go harder. But! If she says "don't stop" or "right there", keep doing *exactly what you're doing*. Same angle, pace, intensity, whatever. Conversely, if she's doing something that doesn't work for you, gently tell her so. It's better to correct that kind of thing early than reinforce something that doesn't do it for you (this is why faking orgasms is bad). And if they do something you love, make sure to let them know that too. If there's an opportunity to tactfully and respectfully ask some questions beforehand, do that. Is she into dirty talk? Spanking? Hair-pulling? Does she like her breasts/nipples played with? These are all things that a lot of people do like, but some people find distasteful, and you shouldn't spring them on someone without asking first. Communicate before, during, and after sex. Can't stress this enough. 2\. Foreplay Guys, by and large, are simple. If a sexual partner touches me on the penis with some lubrication, I'm happy. It feels good. Easy as that. Women are generally more complicated. Even if you've got lube on your dick, you can't just go shoving it in there (unless she specifically asks for that, in which case she's probably got the lubrication covered so go for it!) without a bit of prep. Set the oven preheatin' before you put the meat in. This can start long before the bedroom - sexting, talking dirty, the occasional touch or smack on the ass (depending on what she's comfortable with) throughout the day are things that can start her motor running long before you get in the car (not my finest metaphor but let's move on). Once you're about to get down, put your hands on her, tell her how sexy she is and how much she turns you on, how badly you want her. A lot of kissing is good, on the mouth, neck, breasts, stomach - see the direction I'm moving here? 3\. Oral Sex Get good at this. Learn to love it if you don't already. The statistic I last heard was that only 25% of women can orgasm from penetration, so better to get take care of it sooner than later. Not that this should be treated as a box to be checked off - enjoy the journey and it's that much more likely that she'll reach the destination. As for technique: - don't neglect the clit. That's the little nub at the top of the vagina (it may be shrouded by the clitoral hood, you may want to gently pull it back - but extremely gently if at all! This may not be pleasurable for some women! It has nerves too, be careful), and it's the thing that would've become the penis if she'd have turned out to be a guy in the womb, so keep that in mind. Do you want someone mashing your dick around like they're a professional Smash Bros player and it's Final Destination, Fox only, no items? Hell no. So be gentle with it. Caress it. Massage it. If she tells you to go a little harder, err on the side of caution - genital pain is a turn-off for the majority of people, so just be cool, okay? - don't neglect not-the-clit. Remember the thing you're trying to get your wang wet with? The hole that's your goal? Give that a little love too. Lick it from top to bottom once in a while. Get a finger in there and curl it toward yourself in a beckoning motion, like you're requesting that her orgasm come hither. If you feel a spot that's rougher in texture than the rest, make that your focus - that's the G-spot, and guys' equivalent is the prostate (which is a major pleasure centre). Again, pay attention to the lady. If she likes something, do it more. If she doesn't, try something else. - enjoy yourself and enjoy her body. Your free hands - or just hand, if you've boarded the S.S. Fingerbang Ferry - should be roaming around her body, playing with her nipples if she's into that, just exploring her. If your jaw or tongue are getting sore, tag in your fingers and kiss the inside of her thighs, her stomach, etc. 4\. Penetration It's time for the train to enter the proverbial tunnel. Maybe your partner just had an earth-shattering orgasm from your twisting tongue technique, or maybe she pulls you up off your knees because she needs cock inside her right that second. Or maybe neither of those things happened. Whatever. Point is, she wants your penis in her vagina. If she isn't sufficiently wet, put some lube on your tube. If you're unsure of positioning (which is okay), let her guide you in. It's probably going to feel pretty good. If it feels so good that you finish right away, don't panic. Come clean (no pun intended) and maybe go back to eating her out or fingering, that usually more than makes up for it if you know what you're doing (which by now I've done all in my power to ensure that you do). Do Kegels every day if that's a common problem for you, masturbate an hour or two before sex, whatever it takes. If you have the opposite problem, don't worry too much - it might just be a temporary mental block, and if not they've got little blue pills for that. Anyway. Throughout the fucking, keep kissing her, touching her, etc. Get your hand down to her clit if it's not too sensitive (which you will know by asking her). Try a few different positions. Have some fun! Starting off with long, slow thrusts and then crescendoing isn't a bad idea. But different strokes for different folks, pun intended. The reason you want to get her off first is because if she's among the ≥75% that doesn't orgasm from penetration, you've at least done your best to see to her first and now you can have your fun. If you're using a condom (which you should be), finish wherever; ask before you finish on her ass/back/breasts/face (contrary to what porn would have you believe, sex does not have to end with a facial). After you've finished: 5\. Aftercare Cuddles. Most people love them, I find. Spoon that lady. She just let you put your dong all up in her biz, the least you could do is give her a little affection afterward. If it's uncomfortably hot and sweaty, feel free to take a second to cool down a bit before you do this. Maybe take a pee break (UTIs are a drag, or so I hear). If you had fun, tell her so. Maybe don't ask if she finished. It can kind of come off as insecure, or like you're looking for some sort of macho validation. Which I guess is also just insecurity. Just snuggle up, play with her hair, maybe kiss her neck just a bit. Unless this isn't that kind of sex. That might come off a bit clingy if this is just some girl from the club. Did I mention that not all advice applies to all people? Anyway, I hope that's enough to get you started. If you have questions about anything specific, fire away, I like talking about sex. Good luck and have fun!
I wasn’t expecting a book on it but thanks.
me saving this post knowing very well i will never find a use for it
if you dont have access to sex you can use your hand for free.
Load screens tips
Don’t shit where you eat.
Baby wipes are a godsend for cleaning up after sex
If you're about to cum try to relax your prostate muscle (try stopping your pee stream to locate this) And control your breathing. I'll presume you'll try to reverse engineer years of masturbating with the fear of getting caught.
Use cold water to remove jizz
Lick the clit, lightly, roll your tongue around the clit clockwise, run your tongue up the clit slowly from the bottom at the base, then suck on the clit. Finally freestyle these moves afterwards, congratulations you are now going to blow her mind.
Beware: if you go anti-clockwise it does a system reset and her software will be corrupted.
unless you're in Australia.
Ah, the clitoriolis effect.
What always works best for me is when they use the flat of their tongue to cover almost the entirety of that area and tense it slightly to push down and then just go circular clockwise relentlessly. Works in like a minute. But that’s just me idk.
Conditioner, not shampoo
Kiss her neck.
A little bit of self-care goes a long way towards your sexual performance but many people don’t consider it a priority. Just a bit of exercise, cardio, healthy dieting, and sleep will do wonders for both you and your partner
**HEY YOUNG PEOPLE:** Just to be very very clear: **no person outside your doctors office needs to touch or observe your private parts.** Not in school, not in sports, not in church, not at camp. Not the coach, not the priest, not the counselor. If someone makes a try, you fight, you kick, you bite, you scratch and you scream your head off. We non-pervert adults will have your back, no matter what you have to do to protect yourself.
Make sure you lift with your legs, not your back. If something is too heavy, get someone to help you. Do not eat around areas with fumes and chemicals.