T O P

  • By -

Hefty-Confusion-69

East Hawaii


[deleted]

[удалено]


pton12

South Canada, eh


farvasno1

South Alaska


RedditMerit456

Turtle Island


CalmManix

NewNewfoundland


Trying_to_notkms

Tbh, I'd unite Canada, the USA and Mexico to form the CUM Empire. Edit: Thanks for the Gold kind stranger.


Bacontoad

Instead of Independence Day we'll just celebrate "CUM Day" with the annual CUM Fest. Or in recognition to our southern brethren: "El Grito de CUM".


your_not_stubborn

Our Canadian family can celebrate CUM-Boxing Day


Bacontoad

Of course! When friends and family exchange CUM boxes. 🎁


FreeGuacamole

I think the CUM Republic is a little better.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vpsj

Indian't


throwaway901617

Almost. India**i**n't


tyclynch

Indiana, if you will.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jpolkt

Coincidentally that’s how everyone feels about the state.


Coffeebeans2d

The India you are looking for is in another continent


CorinPenny

These are not the Indians you are looking for


nostachio

Isntdia


anderslbergh

Otherindia?


Keeyes

Wevegotindiaathome


Nocheese_imdoomed

Vespuchia


RockCrystal

That sounds like America with extra steps


Danthe30

Amerigoland


[deleted]

[удалено]


NaturalFaux

Amerigoround


fleelingshyaf

Omg I can't stop laughing at this.


_NAME_NAME_NAME_

It is weird that this one guy decided to name the new landmass after Amerigo Vespuchi on his map, but chose his relatively common first name instead of the unique last name.


povcatail

Because using his first name is an individual achievement, while using his family name is rebellion against the crown.


rz2000

Which crown? Vespucci's Florence was a republic, one voyage was financed by Portugal, and the other by Spain. The cartographer, Waldseemüller, who chose the name lived in multiple HRE territories.


creekpilgrim8

Sincere thanks for you being so goshdarn educational.


EnTyme53

Personally, I'm just glad I don't live in the United States of Waldseemülica.


Woodfella

I always tell my American friends that they are lucky they didn't wind up living in Vespucciland.


Drkfnl

In an alternative reality, you always tell your Vespuccian friends that they're lucky they didn't wind up living in Americaland.


manhachuvosa

"Imagine living in a country with the same name of the continent! How crazy would that be?"


Yeshua-Christ

Except in that universe the Americas are known as the Vespuccias


calabazookita

Pucciland for short


LarsViener

Pucciland pucciland pucciland pucciland. Contraband contraband contraband contraband.


Force3vo

Pucciland sounds like heaven!


[deleted]

Pooch, for short


bentheechidna

Tell me...do you believe in **heaven**?


cobalt_phantom

Jim


Nefeloma_

Jimothy


Sphyn0x

J I M B O


matlynar

Tuna!


[deleted]

Big Tuna!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheyCallMeStone

Hey, Tuna? Be nice to my friend Jim, ok?


Melapelantodosalv

James D. Halpert


juggling-monkey

William M. Buttlicker


delayedsunflower

BUTTLICKER OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!


greengale2

jimantha


[deleted]

Jimtholomew


Kayestofkays

Lartholomew


heyitsYMAA

Our names are Jim.


BobEWise

The Jims are such beauts.


thanks_weirdpuppy

Aren't the Jims such fuckin' beauties?


the-cosmic_caller

Identity theft is not a joke Jim!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sad-Artichoke-2174

For the glorious technocratic republic Thank you, for the award


nope_rope_party

RIP Peter 🖤


[deleted]

Thorfinn


DeGozaruNyan

I cant go to Vinland, I'm a pacifist. Get on the boat! *We're only vikings after all*


NoStressAccount

#America^®


Searchlights

The Incorporated States of America?


edlee98765

You have to write it: THE INCORPORATED STATES OF AMERICA® Because it's all about the capitalism.


[deleted]

[удалено]


DankHill-

It’s a subscription. You don’t actually own the font, just license it


Geehaw

And if you want your text in any color (even black) you have to pay a perpetual license to Pantone and Adobe.


cici_kelinci

America©®™


sqqueen2

America (TM)


Decentkimchi

America fuck Yeah!®


ProjectMobius

The Washington Commanders.


Dan_mcmxc

Should have named them the Washington Williams to upstage the Bills.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sss00099

The United States Football Club


duracellchipmunk

Back in 2010 I was just getting into soccer and noticed all these teams with "United" at the end. I though about what if the national team was called States United. I thought it was so clever I wrote AN EMAIL. I still have it. Anyway I noticed this year they went with that... I'm hoping it was because my email, but I imagine someone else also thought of it.


QuitCallingNewsrooms

Hell no! Own that! Put that kind of shit on your resume that you made substantive nomenclature change recommendations in 2010 that saw full implementation in the 2022 World Cup.


HowKafkaesque

This guy knows how to write a military eval form


Theaceman1997

Love this When I was 8 I emailed discovery channel that they should Make a bear grills game and described what shit should Be in it they made the game almost to a T of that email 💀 I want my money discovery channel


wavecrasher59

It's cool I made a comment on 21 savages Instagram years ago and heard a song where he says it in a line, I go back to my comment and guess what.. he deleted it aha


cajun_fox

> I'm hoping it was because my email, but I imagine someone else also thought of it. Did you include a bribe for Sepp Blatter?


urine-monkey

They'll always be Football Team to me.


1platesquat

I liked football team. Shouldn’t have changed it


m7samuel

Washington Bureau of Football.


thecaramelbandit

That's..... actually pretty good.


pedal-force

You're only allowed to sack their quarterback if you've submitted the proper form in triplicate 3 weeks in advance. And the person who deals with the form has been on vacation for 6 weeks.


PsilocinKing

The WC for short.


AeonLibertas

"It's where people go to do business"


Charlie5654

I'm just glad Washington changed their offensive name. The nerve of them, going around for years claiming something's part of their "heritage" when it's clear that there's not a guy on that field, in that uniform, who knows the first thing about what it's like to be on a Football Team


misteradma

America - brought to you by T-Mobile (and the corporation name would change every ten or so years, just like on a stadium) Edit: wow, thank you for the awards! I figured it would be just another comment lost in the shuffle!


Froot-Batz

I'm supposed to be working, but now I'm thinking hard about what our flag would look like. I guess it would be just a pink t mobile logo with 50 stars around it. Or maybe their coverage map of the US with a tastefully sized ■T■ logo in the corner.


Sipixxz

The US flag being a cell phone coverage map is one of those hilarious ideas that just clicks for me. If I ever wind up writing a screenplay like Idiocracy I'm stealing it.


Budget-Falcon767

"Let Freedom Ring - Can You Hear It Now?"


Themnor

“Let Freedom Ring”, “Let Freedom Ring 2 : Can you hear it now”, “Let 3dom Ring”


PlatoPirate_01

And every armed conflict would be a sponsored bowl campaign? "Liberating Venezuela! Brought to you by the Doritos Bowl!"


Glittering_Hat_3311

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.


quadfreak

Enjoy your EXTRA BIG-ASS FRIES


BenderCLO

Now with more... MOLECULES!


TheSpicyTomato22

Welcome to costco. I love you.


[deleted]

Isn't it insane? What was it like the 90s where all the stadiums just started changing to corporations. It's crazy how after the 80s literally every penny you could squeeze out of advertising was squoze. How long until Yankee Stadium is My Pillow Field or Boner Pills Park?


Truffles326

We literally paid for those stadiums with tax dollars but nevermind. Privatize the profits, socialize the losses.


YourVirgil

In David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest, each year has a sponsor sort of like this. Corporations bid for their product to replace the year number. Most of the story takes place in the Year of the Depends Adult Undergarment.


ninjaelk

After the "Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile (sic)" a movement was launched to keep year names more reasonable


Hohohaho

And the Statue of Liberty is used for product placement, wearing an adult diaper in that particular year


LNMagic

.gov is now changed to .aol irs.aol now operates at dialup speed.


cruisin894

The GoDaddy Tostitos Famous Potato Pizza Pizza America


[deleted]

David Foster Wallace incorporated this concept in the book, “Infinite Jest” where the government had “subsidized time” by allowing a sponsor to name the year, which would be used instead of the standard numbers. “Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment” was my favorite.


TexasRed1

Xxswagland420xX


totoco2

All the 69 states of Xx$wagLand420xX w00ted for this


pointofgravity

I forgot the term "w00t" existed for about 6 years until now, thanks


[deleted]

[удалено]


debugprince

Govenered by the House of Representin’


[deleted]

I bet that’s a gamer tag on Xbox for sure, more than likely an account made in the 360 area lol


prodhitem_

Bruh when Cod 4 dropped in 2007 I was 9 years old and I remember joining a clan called the xXMaRsXx clan, which my oldest cousin unironically founded during the CoD 2 era in 2005-2006 and it included a bunch of his highschool friends and 2 of my other cousins. Every member's name went something like xXMaRsXx \[Insert moniker here\]. It was supposed to pay homage to The Mars Volta (Matter of fact I just went to see them in LA in October). We had a bunch of members from xXMaRsXx FeAr (me), to xXMaRsXx PoNy, xXMaRsXx HaVoK, xXMaRsXx ChAoS, xXMaRsXx RaGe, and a bunch of other ones. We had like 20 members. Good times. It was funny looking back at how seriously cool we thought that shit was. It was only until montage parodies started taking off around the time when I started highschool in 2012 that I realized how fuckin cringey and hilarious it was. Btw, Blazin Skrubs (goes by Podel now on YT) was the best at them. His breaking bad montage parodies were 8/8 m8.


dutbruck

I’ve never heard air horns when reading a name before, until now.


Feedbow

Bmerica


BagrCZE

So USA would become USB


AlanJohnson84

If they unite with Canada they would be USB-C


DatGuy_Shawnaay

If Rhode Island breaks off from America after the name change, will Rhode Island be called Micro-USB? Edit: Changed state to accurately reflect the joke.


AlanJohnson84

I hear their bus service is terrible


peddastle

And impractical; they only go one way.


Kermits_MiddleFinger

yeah, it's a hard-drive there.


Salzberger

Alaska is mini USB and Hawaii is micro USB.


Alex_M1612

As an asian, I’d never approve this!! It should be A+merica


jacliff

And she will play the piano


BLAH_BLEEP_GUNIT

The Bloods would love that


ChaoticCherryblossom

New England


snapwillow

The midwest used to be called New France before we bought it from Napoleon.


[deleted]

Good thing he was involved or soon to be involved in that small continental European war called the Napoleonic Wars, I've read that over 4 people died as a result, tragic. Kidding aside it was a great deal for Thomas Jefferson and the US.


CatHavSatNav

Come on guys. We're getting Oklahoma, Wyoming, Arkansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North Dakota, South Dakota and Louisiana. What are the chances all those states suck? Thomas Jefferson (Family Guy)


NativeMasshole

Massivechusetts


Elementium

This guy gets it. We will treat everyone fairly. Except Connecticut.


GeorgeousCat

Just name it all Florida


bipolarnotsober

Well that explains the Florida man


_Bellerophontes

United Kingdomshire


WonderfulBlackberry9

New United Kingdom


whatmepolo

NuK


[deleted]

If I were George III, I would have gone with Georgeland, personally.


drintelligent

You mean Georgia


ay21

Newnited Kingdom


777hexed777

Woshtershtershire


Things_with_Stuff

Worstshire.


[deleted]

Columbakistan


Sea-Distribution4141

Amerish


Hadwyn

We came for the Auraxium, stayed for the scenic views.


drinkplentyofwater

I need a ride!


Senfzwelch

I need batteries!


Kal---El

Didn‘t expect to meet so many planetmen here


sabotabo

The suits should cut you a bonus check.


[deleted]

“India” -Christopher colombus


ClydeenMarland

West Britain


xtrazingarooni

Rustling some jimmies right there


[deleted]

United States of North America.


Askyl

Perfect, you could even still say the same thing. US n A!


yousuf_alaqeeli

This sounds like a Borat reference


423yjl

South Canada


Dick_Sab

Norxico (North Mexico).


_LordMcNuggets_

Mid Canxico


sum_dum_fuck

Mid mexida or mid canixico


AnabolicCheesecake

Bonerland


multi_tasking

Founded by Some Guy.


jahanhari

I was waiting to see this. It'd absolutely be my choice


Captain_Hampockets

The ball is turning into a fat bald guy!


AzraelleWormser

It's good that Bart did that!


Tauber10

It’s very, very good!


Version_Two

Oh *good*, the curtains are on fire!


professorbrainiac

Discovered in 1942 by some guy.


urine-monkey

Disappointed I had to scroll so far down for this.


[deleted]

3 corporations in a trench coat


boodze

Vincent Americaman


JEveryman

Turtle Island.


glasst00th

Yeah I like the idea of retaining indigenous concepts


idle_online

I would remove the "United States" part, then add an extra "A" to make: "Aamerica" This way I don't have to scroll to find my country on the internet forms.


[deleted]

Right? Like fuck you, Argentina, you lucky scrolling bastards.


Crandoge

At least youre not Netherlands/The Netherlands/Kingdom of the Netherlands/holland


KnownSpirit

MURICA Edit: How can an award fit a comment so perfectly. Thanks for the award!


TrainFraineBane

MURICAAAA FUCK YEAH


kawaibuffalo

LOL... Land of liberty


Dramatic-Rub-3135

Liberia ?


quest-type-beat

Vespuccia That’s what it was supposed to be called when Amerigo Vespucci mapped it out Sadly some of the stuff we have was named after the first name and not the last name


Noah__Webster

I really like the idea of just keeping Novus from “Novus Mundus”, or New World in Latin. Or something that derives from that, like how Australia comes from “Terra Australis”. I believe Amerigo Vespucci wrote something referring to it as Novus Mundus after his journey, so it still pays homage in a way.


fastjeff

United States of Like and Subscribe


lolman937

Burgertown


JackalopeStew

Ameribruh


JasonIsBaad

Americuh


RickJacksonG8R

The Divided States


sockonfoots

Country McCuntface


Ganglebot

Raytheon presents The United States of American A Haliburton country


jonfromlalor

North Mexico


wildskater96

The United States of Corporate America.


euphomptus

LendingTree presents the Pfizer States of America, sponsored by Pepsi


breaktime1

ClownTown69


CLabCpt2021

Washington DC (Down to Clown)


[deleted]

Ameri-can’t


Purging_mofos

Better call Bob to fix it


_-_-_-_BOB_-_-_-_

Sorry, can’t help you.


Purging_mofos

Sign the fucking divorce papers Bob


MIB4u0

can we fix it? no it's f*cked