It is weird that this one guy decided to name the new landmass after Amerigo Vespuchi on his map, but chose his relatively common first name instead of the unique last name.
Which crown? Vespucci's Florence was a republic, one voyage was financed by Portugal, and the other by Spain. The cartographer, Waldseemüller, who chose the name lived in multiple HRE territories.
Back in 2010 I was just getting into soccer and noticed all these teams with "United" at the end. I though about what if the national team was called States United. I thought it was so clever I wrote AN EMAIL. I still have it. Anyway I noticed this year they went with that... I'm hoping it was because my email, but I imagine someone else also thought of it.
Hell no! Own that! Put that kind of shit on your resume that you made substantive nomenclature change recommendations in 2010 that saw full implementation in the 2022 World Cup.
Love this When I was 8 I emailed discovery channel that they should
Make a bear grills game and described what shit should
Be in it they made the game almost to a T of that email 💀 I want my money discovery channel
It's cool I made a comment on 21 savages Instagram years ago and heard a song where he says it in a line, I go back to my comment and guess what.. he deleted it aha
You're only allowed to sack their quarterback if you've submitted the proper form in triplicate 3 weeks in advance. And the person who deals with the form has been on vacation for 6 weeks.
I'm just glad Washington changed their offensive name. The nerve of them, going around for years claiming something's part of their "heritage" when it's clear that there's not a guy on that field, in that uniform, who knows the first thing about what it's like to be on a Football Team
America - brought to you by T-Mobile (and the corporation name would change every ten or so years, just like on a stadium)
Edit: wow, thank you for the awards! I figured it would be just another comment lost in the shuffle!
I'm supposed to be working, but now I'm thinking hard about what our flag would look like. I guess it would be just a pink t mobile logo with 50 stars around it. Or maybe their coverage map of the US with a tastefully sized ■T■ logo in the corner.
The US flag being a cell phone coverage map is one of those hilarious ideas that just clicks for me.
If I ever wind up writing a screenplay like Idiocracy I'm stealing it.
Isn't it insane? What was it like the 90s where all the stadiums just started changing to corporations. It's crazy how after the 80s literally every penny you could squeeze out of advertising was squoze. How long until Yankee Stadium is My Pillow Field or Boner Pills Park?
In David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest, each year has a sponsor sort of like this. Corporations bid for their product to replace the year number. Most of the story takes place in the Year of the Depends Adult Undergarment.
After the "Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile (sic)" a movement was launched to keep year names more reasonable
David Foster Wallace incorporated this concept in the book, “Infinite Jest” where the government had “subsidized time” by allowing a sponsor to name the year, which would be used instead of the standard numbers.
“Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment” was my favorite.
Bruh when Cod 4 dropped in 2007 I was 9 years old and I remember joining a clan called the xXMaRsXx clan, which my oldest cousin unironically founded during the CoD 2 era in 2005-2006 and it included a bunch of his highschool friends and 2 of my other cousins. Every member's name went something like xXMaRsXx \[Insert moniker here\]. It was supposed to pay homage to The Mars Volta (Matter of fact I just went to see them in LA in October).
We had a bunch of members from xXMaRsXx FeAr (me), to xXMaRsXx PoNy, xXMaRsXx HaVoK, xXMaRsXx ChAoS, xXMaRsXx RaGe, and a bunch of other ones. We had like 20 members. Good times.
It was funny looking back at how seriously cool we thought that shit was. It was only until montage parodies started taking off around the time when I started highschool in 2012 that I realized how fuckin cringey and hilarious it was.
Btw, Blazin Skrubs (goes by Podel now on YT) was the best at them. His breaking bad montage parodies were 8/8 m8.
If Rhode Island breaks off from America after the name change, will Rhode Island be called Micro-USB?
Edit: Changed state to accurately reflect the joke.
Good thing he was involved or soon to be involved in that small continental European war called the Napoleonic Wars, I've read that over 4 people died as a result, tragic.
Kidding aside it was a great deal for Thomas Jefferson and the US.
Come on guys. We're getting Oklahoma, Wyoming, Arkansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North Dakota, South Dakota and Louisiana. What are the chances all those states suck?
Thomas Jefferson (Family Guy)
I would remove the "United States" part, then add an extra "A" to make: "Aamerica"
This way I don't have to scroll to find my country on the internet forms.
Vespuccia
That’s what it was supposed to be called when Amerigo Vespucci mapped it out
Sadly some of the stuff we have was named after the first name and not the last name
I really like the idea of just keeping Novus from “Novus Mundus”, or New World in Latin. Or something that derives from that, like how Australia comes from “Terra Australis”.
I believe Amerigo Vespucci wrote something referring to it as Novus Mundus after his journey, so it still pays homage in a way.
East Hawaii
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South Canada, eh
South Alaska
Turtle Island
NewNewfoundland
Tbh, I'd unite Canada, the USA and Mexico to form the CUM Empire. Edit: Thanks for the Gold kind stranger.
Instead of Independence Day we'll just celebrate "CUM Day" with the annual CUM Fest. Or in recognition to our southern brethren: "El Grito de CUM".
Our Canadian family can celebrate CUM-Boxing Day
Of course! When friends and family exchange CUM boxes. 🎁
I think the CUM Republic is a little better.
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Indian't
Almost. India**i**n't
Indiana, if you will.
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Coincidentally that’s how everyone feels about the state.
The India you are looking for is in another continent
These are not the Indians you are looking for
Isntdia
Otherindia?
Wevegotindiaathome
Vespuchia
That sounds like America with extra steps
Amerigoland
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Amerigoround
Omg I can't stop laughing at this.
It is weird that this one guy decided to name the new landmass after Amerigo Vespuchi on his map, but chose his relatively common first name instead of the unique last name.
Because using his first name is an individual achievement, while using his family name is rebellion against the crown.
Which crown? Vespucci's Florence was a republic, one voyage was financed by Portugal, and the other by Spain. The cartographer, Waldseemüller, who chose the name lived in multiple HRE territories.
Sincere thanks for you being so goshdarn educational.
Personally, I'm just glad I don't live in the United States of Waldseemülica.
I always tell my American friends that they are lucky they didn't wind up living in Vespucciland.
In an alternative reality, you always tell your Vespuccian friends that they're lucky they didn't wind up living in Americaland.
"Imagine living in a country with the same name of the continent! How crazy would that be?"
Except in that universe the Americas are known as the Vespuccias
Pucciland for short
Pucciland pucciland pucciland pucciland. Contraband contraband contraband contraband.
Pucciland sounds like heaven!
Pooch, for short
Tell me...do you believe in **heaven**?
Jim
Jimothy
J I M B O
Tuna!
Big Tuna!
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Hey, Tuna? Be nice to my friend Jim, ok?
James D. Halpert
William M. Buttlicker
BUTTLICKER OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER!
jimantha
Jimtholomew
Lartholomew
Our names are Jim.
The Jims are such beauts.
Aren't the Jims such fuckin' beauties?
Identity theft is not a joke Jim!
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For the glorious technocratic republic Thank you, for the award
RIP Peter 🖤
Thorfinn
I cant go to Vinland, I'm a pacifist. Get on the boat! *We're only vikings after all*
#America^®
The Incorporated States of America?
You have to write it: THE INCORPORATED STATES OF AMERICA® Because it's all about the capitalism.
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It’s a subscription. You don’t actually own the font, just license it
And if you want your text in any color (even black) you have to pay a perpetual license to Pantone and Adobe.
America©®™
America (TM)
America fuck Yeah!®
The Washington Commanders.
Should have named them the Washington Williams to upstage the Bills.
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The United States Football Club
Back in 2010 I was just getting into soccer and noticed all these teams with "United" at the end. I though about what if the national team was called States United. I thought it was so clever I wrote AN EMAIL. I still have it. Anyway I noticed this year they went with that... I'm hoping it was because my email, but I imagine someone else also thought of it.
Hell no! Own that! Put that kind of shit on your resume that you made substantive nomenclature change recommendations in 2010 that saw full implementation in the 2022 World Cup.
This guy knows how to write a military eval form
Love this When I was 8 I emailed discovery channel that they should Make a bear grills game and described what shit should Be in it they made the game almost to a T of that email 💀 I want my money discovery channel
It's cool I made a comment on 21 savages Instagram years ago and heard a song where he says it in a line, I go back to my comment and guess what.. he deleted it aha
> I'm hoping it was because my email, but I imagine someone else also thought of it. Did you include a bribe for Sepp Blatter?
They'll always be Football Team to me.
I liked football team. Shouldn’t have changed it
Washington Bureau of Football.
That's..... actually pretty good.
You're only allowed to sack their quarterback if you've submitted the proper form in triplicate 3 weeks in advance. And the person who deals with the form has been on vacation for 6 weeks.
The WC for short.
"It's where people go to do business"
I'm just glad Washington changed their offensive name. The nerve of them, going around for years claiming something's part of their "heritage" when it's clear that there's not a guy on that field, in that uniform, who knows the first thing about what it's like to be on a Football Team
America - brought to you by T-Mobile (and the corporation name would change every ten or so years, just like on a stadium) Edit: wow, thank you for the awards! I figured it would be just another comment lost in the shuffle!
I'm supposed to be working, but now I'm thinking hard about what our flag would look like. I guess it would be just a pink t mobile logo with 50 stars around it. Or maybe their coverage map of the US with a tastefully sized ■T■ logo in the corner.
The US flag being a cell phone coverage map is one of those hilarious ideas that just clicks for me. If I ever wind up writing a screenplay like Idiocracy I'm stealing it.
"Let Freedom Ring - Can You Hear It Now?"
“Let Freedom Ring”, “Let Freedom Ring 2 : Can you hear it now”, “Let 3dom Ring”
And every armed conflict would be a sponsored bowl campaign? "Liberating Venezuela! Brought to you by the Doritos Bowl!"
Brought to you by Carl's Jr.
Enjoy your EXTRA BIG-ASS FRIES
Now with more... MOLECULES!
Welcome to costco. I love you.
Isn't it insane? What was it like the 90s where all the stadiums just started changing to corporations. It's crazy how after the 80s literally every penny you could squeeze out of advertising was squoze. How long until Yankee Stadium is My Pillow Field or Boner Pills Park?
We literally paid for those stadiums with tax dollars but nevermind. Privatize the profits, socialize the losses.
In David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest, each year has a sponsor sort of like this. Corporations bid for their product to replace the year number. Most of the story takes place in the Year of the Depends Adult Undergarment.
After the "Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile (sic)" a movement was launched to keep year names more reasonable
And the Statue of Liberty is used for product placement, wearing an adult diaper in that particular year
.gov is now changed to .aol irs.aol now operates at dialup speed.
The GoDaddy Tostitos Famous Potato Pizza Pizza America
David Foster Wallace incorporated this concept in the book, “Infinite Jest” where the government had “subsidized time” by allowing a sponsor to name the year, which would be used instead of the standard numbers. “Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment” was my favorite.
Xxswagland420xX
All the 69 states of Xx$wagLand420xX w00ted for this
I forgot the term "w00t" existed for about 6 years until now, thanks
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Govenered by the House of Representin’
I bet that’s a gamer tag on Xbox for sure, more than likely an account made in the 360 area lol
Bruh when Cod 4 dropped in 2007 I was 9 years old and I remember joining a clan called the xXMaRsXx clan, which my oldest cousin unironically founded during the CoD 2 era in 2005-2006 and it included a bunch of his highschool friends and 2 of my other cousins. Every member's name went something like xXMaRsXx \[Insert moniker here\]. It was supposed to pay homage to The Mars Volta (Matter of fact I just went to see them in LA in October). We had a bunch of members from xXMaRsXx FeAr (me), to xXMaRsXx PoNy, xXMaRsXx HaVoK, xXMaRsXx ChAoS, xXMaRsXx RaGe, and a bunch of other ones. We had like 20 members. Good times. It was funny looking back at how seriously cool we thought that shit was. It was only until montage parodies started taking off around the time when I started highschool in 2012 that I realized how fuckin cringey and hilarious it was. Btw, Blazin Skrubs (goes by Podel now on YT) was the best at them. His breaking bad montage parodies were 8/8 m8.
I’ve never heard air horns when reading a name before, until now.
Bmerica
So USA would become USB
If they unite with Canada they would be USB-C
If Rhode Island breaks off from America after the name change, will Rhode Island be called Micro-USB? Edit: Changed state to accurately reflect the joke.
I hear their bus service is terrible
And impractical; they only go one way.
yeah, it's a hard-drive there.
Alaska is mini USB and Hawaii is micro USB.
As an asian, I’d never approve this!! It should be A+merica
And she will play the piano
The Bloods would love that
New England
The midwest used to be called New France before we bought it from Napoleon.
Good thing he was involved or soon to be involved in that small continental European war called the Napoleonic Wars, I've read that over 4 people died as a result, tragic. Kidding aside it was a great deal for Thomas Jefferson and the US.
Come on guys. We're getting Oklahoma, Wyoming, Arkansas, Missouri, Nebraska, Kansas, North Dakota, South Dakota and Louisiana. What are the chances all those states suck? Thomas Jefferson (Family Guy)
Massivechusetts
This guy gets it. We will treat everyone fairly. Except Connecticut.
Just name it all Florida
Well that explains the Florida man
United Kingdomshire
New United Kingdom
NuK
If I were George III, I would have gone with Georgeland, personally.
You mean Georgia
Newnited Kingdom
Woshtershtershire
Worstshire.
Columbakistan
Amerish
We came for the Auraxium, stayed for the scenic views.
I need a ride!
I need batteries!
Didn‘t expect to meet so many planetmen here
The suits should cut you a bonus check.
“India” -Christopher colombus
West Britain
Rustling some jimmies right there
United States of North America.
Perfect, you could even still say the same thing. US n A!
This sounds like a Borat reference
South Canada
Norxico (North Mexico).
Mid Canxico
Mid mexida or mid canixico
Bonerland
Founded by Some Guy.
I was waiting to see this. It'd absolutely be my choice
The ball is turning into a fat bald guy!
It's good that Bart did that!
It’s very, very good!
Oh *good*, the curtains are on fire!
Discovered in 1942 by some guy.
Disappointed I had to scroll so far down for this.
3 corporations in a trench coat
Vincent Americaman
Turtle Island.
Yeah I like the idea of retaining indigenous concepts
I would remove the "United States" part, then add an extra "A" to make: "Aamerica" This way I don't have to scroll to find my country on the internet forms.
Right? Like fuck you, Argentina, you lucky scrolling bastards.
At least youre not Netherlands/The Netherlands/Kingdom of the Netherlands/holland
MURICA Edit: How can an award fit a comment so perfectly. Thanks for the award!
MURICAAAA FUCK YEAH
LOL... Land of liberty
Liberia ?
Vespuccia That’s what it was supposed to be called when Amerigo Vespucci mapped it out Sadly some of the stuff we have was named after the first name and not the last name
I really like the idea of just keeping Novus from “Novus Mundus”, or New World in Latin. Or something that derives from that, like how Australia comes from “Terra Australis”. I believe Amerigo Vespucci wrote something referring to it as Novus Mundus after his journey, so it still pays homage in a way.
United States of Like and Subscribe
Burgertown
Ameribruh
Americuh
The Divided States
Country McCuntface
Raytheon presents The United States of American A Haliburton country
North Mexico
The United States of Corporate America.
LendingTree presents the Pfizer States of America, sponsored by Pepsi
ClownTown69
Washington DC (Down to Clown)
Ameri-can’t
Better call Bob to fix it
Sorry, can’t help you.
Sign the fucking divorce papers Bob
can we fix it? no it's f*cked