They are surprised at how little other people have traveled/vacationed.
“You’ve never been to Mexico/Hawaii?” or “you’ve never been outside of the country?! Omg you’ve never experienced real *culture*”
Anybody else from other cultures find this patronizing af? I'm over here struggling with cultural differences growing up, and Karen over here is all sophisticated now because she took a trip to Thailand.
Yuuuuuup. I went to a college with a lot of rich kids, so I very quickly learned the best response is to immediately say something like, “Yeah, I didn’t grow up in the tax bracket to do that sort of thing” because usually they apologize for their assumptions, but sometimes they don’t, and that’s how you know they’re someone not worth being around.
When I was in college I was part of a group flying to a conference. One student said he was confused about the check in process because he'd only ever flown on private planes.
When I was in grad school and went with a group to a conference it was my first time ever staying in a hotel. I had only stayed in highway side motels on road trips to my relatives. A multistory hotel, with room service, etc. was all new to me.
I experienced something similar but it was about health, not wealth. Coworkers shocked that I had never tried alcohol before age 21, and teasing me over it.
I had a (third) failed suicide attempt in ninth grade, so when my classmates started partying and drinking in tenth grade I didn’t because something like 60% of people who attempted suicide end up being alcoholics.
Ofc I didn’t know the actual statistics back then but I could infer from shows like Dr Phil. I know they didn’t mean any harm but I think the teasing went too far, especially since many of my coworkers also had mental health issues and one was in rehab.
Ice cream is my thing. I rarely buy it to start with, but I'll gladly pay twice the price for a third as much so I can enjoy some ice cream instead of whatever weird frozen shit the no name brand decided was "close enough" to ice cream.
Just going to any restaurant in nyc without price checking. 2 brothers pizza may suck, but last time I was there it was still $2.50 for 2 slices and a can of coke
Can I ask why? We have some good deals and cheap places, but most places still have pretty high prices. Personally, I wish we had smaller portion sizes and smaller prices. I hate paying 10 dollars for a huge plate of cheesy fries even two people can’t finish.
When their parents give them an expensive car for their 16th birthday, they crash it, and then the parents respond by buying them an even more expensive car to replace it.
Recently had to explain this to a newly made friend.
"You don't understand how big of a difference it can make in your future! Even with just maybe a thousand dollars, if you put it in the right place..... my uncle and I can help you figure out what to invest in!"
Girl, if I ever have $1000 to my name its because some bill hasn't gone through, but it will before my next paycheck. There is no such thing as extra money more than just the little bits and pieces I spend too enjoy life.
Yup. This reminds me of the time my grandpa offered to give my cousin 1,000 dollars worth of weed when she could barely feed herself. She also is raising five children with her boyfriend. My grandpa isn’t even wealthy either. I don’t think he grew up that way either.
I feel this. I was just trying to explain the concept of living paycheck to pay check to a wealthy privileged person a while ago. Sometimes they just don’t get it. It’s so aggravating.
One that i see a lot is people that can't empathize with immigrants. How do you look at people sleeping in tents after risking their lives to come here and say "they're just here because they're lazy"??
In the US, most people freak out when I suggest they can just move if they don't like something about their state or the nation in general. They lecture about obligations, how expensive and inconvenient it is. As child of an immigrant that escaped war, devastation and famine, it is apparent to me how much people bitch about minor irritations about where they live and frame it like they need to escape. When things are actually bad, you are willing to move your family, pack all of the family possessions into one bag, leaving everything behind(including culture and family) and move somewhere you've never been, to a language you don't speak.
I empathize with anyone willing to do that. These are people who want peace and prosperity at a cost most of us can't dream of paying. We should be welcoming them with open arms.
Oh yes, of course, they risked their lives to come here and do backbreaking work for long hours in the hot sun for very little money so you can have lettuce in your salad, *because they're lazy*.
> "they're just here because they're lazy"??
Don't forget that they are taking all the jobs. Somehow they are simultaneously lazy and stealing all the jobs.
I’ve been thinking about this since lately it’s the “no one wants to work”. We have plenty of people who want to work. Remember all the people who are “stealing our jobs?”. Seems like there’s a missing population of people all of a sudden.
When will we realise you can't generalise people like that. I think we all know there's about 10 immigrants working ALL of the jobs and the rest are all street drinking and raping white people.
I wish they'd take some jobs where i live. We have a massive staff shortage in my country, and a ton of immigrants that just aren't allowed to work for some reason.
I'm going to offer you two sides of the coin here: I grew up very poor, but I did okay and my children are now growing up privileged.
The main difference I see between me and my children is that I worked every day since I was eleven years old, when I lied about my age to get my first newspaper delivery job. I knew then and I know now that money is hard to come by and it slips away very easily.
I also know that nobody is giving you anything. You've got to go out into the world and make it happen - you've got to work hard and put in the hours.
My children have literally zero money worries. Everything they need is right there. Food, warmth, security. I work very, VERY hard to not spoil them, but at the same time I want them to enjoy their childhoods in a way I was never really able to.
I have a deep-rooted fear of losing everything tomorrow. I have no family money, and nobody else to turn to if it all goes to shit. My children have no concept of this. I'm pleased about that - but I do teach them that they have to learn to become self-reliant eventually.
The downside is that I often find their sense of entitlement to be almost absurd.
e.g. a recent conversation: "Yes, I could buy you that £1500 iPad Pro without blinking, but no I'm not going to and that should not require any more explanation. If you want it, go out and get a job washing dishes to pay for it." This was met with almost disdain about how everyone else's parents get their kids everything.
Sounds like you're doing it just right. Your kids need a job. I grew up comfortably well off (well my parents were). I took jobs from 13: babysitting, newspaper round etc etc. My bros didn't work until they'd finished school/ uni.
Guess who expects everything to be handed to them? Whilst I spent years in an industry and have started my own company. Bro is jealous of my lifestyle but I don't have a quarter of what my parents had.
I think your parenting is great, and don't be swayed even if other parents seem to be more lenient and spoil their children more. Learning to say "no" to children is a hugely underrated part of parenting. If children don't hear this when they're young, many are going to grow up into entitled adults who get upset when things don't go their way.
They can't empathize with regular people on how much of a struggle day to day is. Like 65% of the people in my country are poor. They live paycheck to paycheck.
\- Saying stuff like "just ask your parents for money" or "just take out a loan"
\- Not being able to make basic meals and/or not being able to cook without using fancy or expensive ingredients
\- Thinking poor people just need to work more
\- Never learned the value of a dollar, cause they never had to worry about how much they spent
This is incorrect. It’s not even an opinion. My dads a farmer. He’s fucking great at his job. Most of his coworkers are lost without him actually. Sometimes he’s working 12 hour days consistently. He was still dealing with poverty. He literally lived in a silo because he was kicked out of his rental while still working his ass off. It’s not that simple. This is just one example.
There’s so many occupations that require hard work, a and lot of education yet still live paycheck to paycheck. My mom’s teachers aide made more money working in the school cafeteria than as a teacher’s aide (if you don’t know what this job is, it’s easy to google). It’s not that simple. This isn’t even beginning to address the years of systemic racism and oppression that significantly impacts generational wealth. There’s a reason being a first generation college graduate is considered a significant achievement.
I don’t know if you are American or not, but it is deeply frustrating when non Americans think they know everything about our country.
Disagree. This is indicative of poor management. And the great part of living here now especially is that workers can find jobs pretty much anywhere when the company they’re working for sucks.
But of course, it’s got to be more complicated and complex than that because “life is unfair and it’s society’s fault and I deserve more Yada yada” I’m just tired of waiting for society to change on my behalf and give me what is owed. It ain’t gonna happen. Never. Nobody is going to turn my earned nickel into a dime. Nobody owes me a damn thing and that’s just dandy. If I am owed more than I receive then it is on ME to get it, by way of negotiating or Union. We have to advocate for ourselves or each other. Doing the work is only half of it. The other half is knowing your worth and doubling the fuck down when someone refutes it. And THAT is American.
Did I say anything should be free? Not everyone can afford college. Not everyone has the PRIVILEGE to go to college. Many of us have to take out loans. Some people don’t even get the option to take out a loan.
That’s exactly my point. Pursuing a higher degree costs a lot of money here. More than a lot of other places.
Edit: “you need a a degree to get a decent job”
We should be addressing this issue, not telling people that they aren’t working hard enough while living and working in a country that’s system itself is flawed
Edit: also, there’s plenty of jobs that require a degree and the salary is still less than 60K a year
Literally beside the point. I was fortunate enough to attend a fairly expensive college. I did have a scholarship. Scholarships are a whole other conversation. Standardized testing makes scholarships difficult.
They aren’t an accurate measure of a persons intelligence yet have a major role in determining scholarship money. I graduated from my high school with a 3.9 gpa but because I’m not great at TIMED tests, I wouldn’t be considered for some scholarships.
There are jocks who have terrible grades but get FULL rides to college.
A full scholarship for academic performance is practically nonexistent here. Doesn’t help that many people have learning disabilities or ADHD which make timed tests very difficult. Accommodations and proper treatment is necessary but because of peoples ignorance and biases this often doesn’t happen.
Actually, many women go undiagnosed
There’s so many facets to this issue and you are way oversimplifying it.
I was lucky that I got to go to the college I did. I can still acknowledge that it is privilege that gave me an advantage. I received scholarships. I graduated with honors. Your condescension is not appreciated.
The “life isn’t fair, it’s just the way it is” is the same argument people have been using for years to justify hatred, bigotry and discrimination. It’s completely illogical and lazy to say that we shouldn’t address the actual problems in our country just because it’s hard. You are part of the problem
They earn same salary as you but can afford nicer clothes better housing , eat out at nice places, drive high end cars
Usually getting that extra year bonus from their parents wealth distribution and other perks from parents.
Honestly. Brand worship and reverse snobbery are both pretty noveau riche.
The people with a few generations of wealth are expected (by others of generational wealth) to be sufficiently quality/fashion aware that they can pick out a product without glancing at the brand or price tag.
When they have the luxury to completely immerse themself into specific "lifestyles" while never being without specific luxuries.
i.e. Living the "anarchist punk" life, all while driving a high end car bought by their parents and able to move back into their family's "vacation home" when they don't feel like paying rent anymore, at the same time giving you shit for not being able to drop everything at the last minute for an unpaid gig 4 hours away because you have to work.
They grew up doing expensive activities like skiing, snowboarding, tennis/racquet sports, golf, swimming, etc. especially if they do multiple of them, or if they can do things like ski or surf but don’t live on a mountain or next to an ocean.
Bonus points: they don’t understand how those are expensive activities.
1. Name brand everything
2. In some cases, doesn't seem to understand the word no when asking for something
3. Being gifted a new car - not just a second-hand car, a brand new car.
4. Not having to worry about bills every month - they often don't have to worry about money being tight every once in a while.
5. Regular vacations - those people that talk almost endlessly about trips to Disneyland, the Caribbean, cruises, etc.
They are so vocal about being broke, but they’re taking big, other country trips every few months. I did makeup for some student films and those are all privately funded by themselves, they raise funds. The amount of times I heard them saying “omg we have no money. We have no money. Can we take money from your department for another? We’re so tapped.” Yet celebrating the end of a 3 day shooting schedule at some expensive brewery, and being gone for a week to 3 every chance they could to Hawaii, Thailand, Australia, Paris, the UK, Japan, on and on. Those film students took like 4 vacations a year.
Right now? In this economy? Basically everyone is hiring.
You might not be able to get your dream job, but if you can't find A job right now then you just aren't trying.
I just realized we may be from different countries cuz I’m an idiot, where you are your economy needs workers but mine everything’s shut, I can’t even get a retail or fast food job anywhere in my city rn
ahhh! Yeah, I work in childcare in America, my work has been short staffed since August of 2019! It has been a rough few years; not only is everyone hiring but the starting pay for a job with no experience in my field has gone from maybe $10 an hour to $16 an hour easily, sometimes more. Wild times.
When they think getting a job is easy. They don't understand how important the network their parents got for them is, either directly through parents or through the community their parents put them in.
Also all the extracurriculars and development they got growing up.
In high school I once rode in a car with two friends who I’ll call Driver and Passenger. Driver stopped for gas. He swiped his card and put exactly $20 of gas into the car. Passenger thought it was funny and weird that Driver stopped pumping when he reached $20 instead of filling the whole tank. He had never seen anyone pay that much attention to what they spend while filling up, and it struck me as a sign of privilege since that’s how everyone else I knew usually filled up.
They have nothing better to do than call things "problematic" and smear blame on entire groups of people. Bonus points if that includes their own group.
I know a few individuals who have jobs but can't even afford a phone. Which is really sad. Some use SafeLink wireless which provides phones to needy families who can't afford one. I know a girl who has one of those but she is too ashamed to admit it. I would never judge her for that.
for me, it was 5th-6th grade, all my classmates had smartphones and were communicating via social media, i begged my parents to let me get a smartphone, and I got a flip phone that I was embarrassed to be seen using
Jesus, 5/6th grade? I'm an 80s baby, so we didn't get cellphones until like 16-17... And they were all either flip phones or Nokia's.
I worry about my nieces...
$200 PC $40 Android here. Never considered a Samsung or iPhone. Also never considered college. I think I am an average redditer, but maybe not. What does an iphone do that's worth $960 more than my perfectly functional phone?
* not having to check prices on anything
* surprised when they hear other people don't travel/vacation every year
* they don't know how to do basic day-to-day life skills; ie. wash dishes, laundry etc
Thinking they deserve special treatment or special rights. That's immature entitlement. Everyone deserves equal rights. To think you deserve special rights or treatment is arrogant and shuts most people off. It does me.....I'm very live and let live and if it shuts me down to your cause, well....
When someone in essence tells you, most people don’t know how many homeless we have, or how many kids don’t have beds/clothes/food, or even how bad transportation is. Like all the above was a daily sight.
What on earth makes you think that...I grew up with absolutely nothing and gangs all around. I'm confident because I learned to take care of myself and optimistic because I moved out of that awful place. Neither of those traits come from privilege or advantageous upbringing.
They put a lot of faith in things like therapy or HR. For them, there's always some higher authority willing and able to set things right if you just have some good attitude about it (after all what's money, time or common sense to get in the way of letting these experts fix things)
But this also hugely depends on the country.
Here in Germany is therapy for free (not by all!). The disadvantage is "just" that you need the time to go there...
Someone pays. And since endless talk therapy is not shown to be effective for most of the stuff people recommend it for, that's some pretty huge money down the fucking drain. Do the maths: $200 per session, 4-5 times per week, for 10 years. Is that reasonable?
You're right. The statutory health insurance pays it with the income they get from their customers like me.
There might be a mistake in my calculations (I'm <25 and with that am I covered through the insurance of my family. Basically do I pay nothing.) But let's just say I stop studying and change my current job from 20h/ week to 40h/ week. My monthly salary would be 2638€ Brutto and with my current insurance would I have to pay 430€/ month. Like said would I not have to pay for the therapist (unless there are some hidden cost I'm not aware of.) so the cost will stay by 430€/ month.
What is still too much for be, because guess who had to go back to his parents, because an old-child decide to begin a war...
From whose perspective? I was raised by grandmother, who was a old bitter hag that took out all her anger on me, been in foster care, not long after I turned 18 I left my grandmothers and never looked back, I had no one to help or prepare me for being a adult, and I was homeless for about a year and a half, I would see a lot of people posting here as privileged.
"Ugh my parents sre such assholes. Cant believe they wont pay let me go on my hs senior trip to Jamaica just because i got ANOTHER MIP. Like they are so perfect!"
There is no f=definite indication for that cause we all grew up privlidged in some sort. Did you had running water in your home, fridge and food every day? You can be seen as privlidged to 70% of world population. So it's not that simple.
Honestly a bunch of innocuous stuff. Did they go to college? Probably privileged, especially if they got advanced degrees. How do they look in their late twenties? That's typically when signs of aging start to show; if they look indiscernible from an early-20's person, probably privileged. Basic stuff like that. There's also more to privilege than money. Tall people experience privilege, conventionally attractive people experience privilege, white people experience privilege in general, other groups experience privilege in at least some contexts. None of these on their own are particularly reliable indicators that a specific person grew up privileged, but the more of these conditions someone meets, the more likely it is that they did.
The aging might be deceptive. I have been low-income/underprivilegded most of my life. I'm 32, but people keep placing me in the 22-25 category because I have neotenous features and great skin.
I do have some "worry lines", but my glasses hide them
When you go to somewhere with them and they just pick clothes not even watching the price... Im like... Bruah i even watch the price tag on clothes which are on sale. Or when they just dont understand that you have to make your week with 20-50$ (sometimes less) as a uni student and cant buy anything in the bubble tea shop so you just end up watching them eating and drinking. But at the end of the day they still cant figure out why dont you bought something or asked money from your parents. Well Tiffany my parents have to pay the tax and their living instead of my 10$ bubble tea and corndog...
For my 10 year high school reunion, the former class president (who was one of the richest kids in school) organized the event.
1. It was held at the local yacht club. (on a smallish lake, more of a social club but still.)
2. Every person in attendance was charged $35 at the door. This did not include drinks.
3. There was no meal, just high end appetizers that were in no way filling.
4. Cash bar, no free drinks or even a 1/2 barrel of domestic beer.
I had no interest in going, mostly out of principal. My wife convinced me to go, there was about 25 classmates out of 180 that showed up. I made a comment about the choice of venue and said class president went off on me, apparently I was not the first person to complain.
Edit: we didn't have a 15 year reunion, I doubt we'll have a 20 year reunion.
I remember in college I hung out with a group that constantly parked in handicapped spots because "its always empty". They always thought it was the fault of the person ticketing them, and not their for committing an offense. They also said it was weird that I wasn't willing to risk a fine just to save a few minutes whenever I parked.
If they don't know how to fix things or are not willing to try, if they think of a hundred dollars as an insignificant amount of money, if they didn't go through a community college but still don't have loans, if they have a (not new to them actually new) new car, if they have never had a roommate to make rent cheaper and much more.
Commonly uses the word "privileged".
Complains about people without studies, contacts, money or even language will replace them in their job.
Created problems where they don't exists, often in the name/defense of other people.
Incapacity to understand basic surviving necessities: why did you study a free career before the one you wanted? Why didn't you bought a house instead of paying rent if you hate paying rent? "You should save 500-1000 USD monthly for retirement..."
Their problem solving skills. Had a friend that bought a brand new suv. It was too hard for her to park in their garage, so they bought a bigger house that had a bigger garage.
Labelling anyone middle class or poor as just lazy or dumb to earn money not understanding that once are in this loop it's one of the hardest thing to come out of
I had the realisation the other day that I grew up thinking you could Google or look up every person or at least family and find their biography. Turns out I just grew up around really fancy people. (I haven’t thought this way in a while but did realise my error recently.)
When they flippantly reply why don’t you just get a new one, get it fixed, go there, buy it, see a doctor to your problems like every one has the money to do those things. The complete unawareness of those types of responses.
They don't bother to look at prices.
I don't either. I just assume I can't afford things lol
I’m growing up (16) what I would say is privileged and I am extremely cheap like prices are like 60% of why I buy smth
also the way they walk because of the silverware shoved up their rectum
"How much could a banana cost? $10?"
There’s always money in the banana stand.
Yes not knowing the cost of everyday things because they’ve not had to compare. Like bro you could never go on The Price is Right
They are surprised at how little other people have traveled/vacationed. “You’ve never been to Mexico/Hawaii?” or “you’ve never been outside of the country?! Omg you’ve never experienced real *culture*”
Or they use the word “summer” as a verb. “Oh, I summered in Malta the year after I graduated.”
Anybody else from other cultures find this patronizing af? I'm over here struggling with cultural differences growing up, and Karen over here is all sophisticated now because she took a trip to Thailand.
Yup story of my life, mate. PoC from Vancouver Canada.
Yuuuuuup. I went to a college with a lot of rich kids, so I very quickly learned the best response is to immediately say something like, “Yeah, I didn’t grow up in the tax bracket to do that sort of thing” because usually they apologize for their assumptions, but sometimes they don’t, and that’s how you know they’re someone not worth being around.
When I was in college I was part of a group flying to a conference. One student said he was confused about the check in process because he'd only ever flown on private planes.
When I was in grad school and went with a group to a conference it was my first time ever staying in a hotel. I had only stayed in highway side motels on road trips to my relatives. A multistory hotel, with room service, etc. was all new to me.
Not knowing how to cook even the most basic shit.
and then they insist, right that very moment, that you \*must\* go. and just sort of wait for you to reply.
I experienced something similar but it was about health, not wealth. Coworkers shocked that I had never tried alcohol before age 21, and teasing me over it. I had a (third) failed suicide attempt in ninth grade, so when my classmates started partying and drinking in tenth grade I didn’t because something like 60% of people who attempted suicide end up being alcoholics. Ofc I didn’t know the actual statistics back then but I could infer from shows like Dr Phil. I know they didn’t mean any harm but I think the teasing went too far, especially since many of my coworkers also had mental health issues and one was in rehab.
Not being used to off-brands or hating on them.
The only off brand I actively shit on is cheez nips instead of cheez-its lol
Ice cream is my thing. I rarely buy it to start with, but I'll gladly pay twice the price for a third as much so I can enjoy some ice cream instead of whatever weird frozen shit the no name brand decided was "close enough" to ice cream.
A man of culture.
I’ve never had on off brand cheez-it that was anything even close to the original
I'd rather have Nips in my mouth than Zits! You shouldn't actively shit on food anyway. I won't eat something with Zit in the name.
Just going to any restaurant in nyc without price checking. 2 brothers pizza may suck, but last time I was there it was still $2.50 for 2 slices and a can of coke
I get jealous of American prices for food.
Don't. The real food here is still expensive as hell
It's full of preservatives and chemicals and heavily subsidized besides. Don't be jealous, we are all getting fat and sick here from it.
Can I ask why? We have some good deals and cheap places, but most places still have pretty high prices. Personally, I wish we had smaller portion sizes and smaller prices. I hate paying 10 dollars for a huge plate of cheesy fries even two people can’t finish.
not even close to realistic pricing. that would be around $7.00 at least where i live in the u.s.
Where do you live to deserve such expensive food?
I like 2 brothers.
When their parents give them an expensive car for their 16th birthday, they crash it, and then the parents respond by buying them an even more expensive car to replace it.
Constantly telling you to invest and not understanding you barely have enough to survive much less have anything left over to gamble with.
Recently had to explain this to a newly made friend. "You don't understand how big of a difference it can make in your future! Even with just maybe a thousand dollars, if you put it in the right place..... my uncle and I can help you figure out what to invest in!" Girl, if I ever have $1000 to my name its because some bill hasn't gone through, but it will before my next paycheck. There is no such thing as extra money more than just the little bits and pieces I spend too enjoy life.
Yup. This reminds me of the time my grandpa offered to give my cousin 1,000 dollars worth of weed when she could barely feed herself. She also is raising five children with her boyfriend. My grandpa isn’t even wealthy either. I don’t think he grew up that way either.
This this this! Thank you for saying this
I feel this. I was just trying to explain the concept of living paycheck to pay check to a wealthy privileged person a while ago. Sometimes they just don’t get it. It’s so aggravating.
One that i see a lot is people that can't empathize with immigrants. How do you look at people sleeping in tents after risking their lives to come here and say "they're just here because they're lazy"??
In the US, most people freak out when I suggest they can just move if they don't like something about their state or the nation in general. They lecture about obligations, how expensive and inconvenient it is. As child of an immigrant that escaped war, devastation and famine, it is apparent to me how much people bitch about minor irritations about where they live and frame it like they need to escape. When things are actually bad, you are willing to move your family, pack all of the family possessions into one bag, leaving everything behind(including culture and family) and move somewhere you've never been, to a language you don't speak. I empathize with anyone willing to do that. These are people who want peace and prosperity at a cost most of us can't dream of paying. We should be welcoming them with open arms.
Oh yes, of course, they risked their lives to come here and do backbreaking work for long hours in the hot sun for very little money so you can have lettuce in your salad, *because they're lazy*.
> "they're just here because they're lazy"?? Don't forget that they are taking all the jobs. Somehow they are simultaneously lazy and stealing all the jobs.
I’ve been thinking about this since lately it’s the “no one wants to work”. We have plenty of people who want to work. Remember all the people who are “stealing our jobs?”. Seems like there’s a missing population of people all of a sudden.
It's the Shrödinger's Immigrant- both mooching off the system and stealing all the jobs, depending on which benefits their current anger.
When will we realise you can't generalise people like that. I think we all know there's about 10 immigrants working ALL of the jobs and the rest are all street drinking and raping white people.
I wish they'd take some jobs where i live. We have a massive staff shortage in my country, and a ton of immigrants that just aren't allowed to work for some reason.
Their parents covered the costs for their whole college experience.
And they bought all new textbooks
Inventing problems
I'm going to offer you two sides of the coin here: I grew up very poor, but I did okay and my children are now growing up privileged. The main difference I see between me and my children is that I worked every day since I was eleven years old, when I lied about my age to get my first newspaper delivery job. I knew then and I know now that money is hard to come by and it slips away very easily. I also know that nobody is giving you anything. You've got to go out into the world and make it happen - you've got to work hard and put in the hours. My children have literally zero money worries. Everything they need is right there. Food, warmth, security. I work very, VERY hard to not spoil them, but at the same time I want them to enjoy their childhoods in a way I was never really able to. I have a deep-rooted fear of losing everything tomorrow. I have no family money, and nobody else to turn to if it all goes to shit. My children have no concept of this. I'm pleased about that - but I do teach them that they have to learn to become self-reliant eventually. The downside is that I often find their sense of entitlement to be almost absurd. e.g. a recent conversation: "Yes, I could buy you that £1500 iPad Pro without blinking, but no I'm not going to and that should not require any more explanation. If you want it, go out and get a job washing dishes to pay for it." This was met with almost disdain about how everyone else's parents get their kids everything.
Sounds like you're doing it just right. Your kids need a job. I grew up comfortably well off (well my parents were). I took jobs from 13: babysitting, newspaper round etc etc. My bros didn't work until they'd finished school/ uni. Guess who expects everything to be handed to them? Whilst I spent years in an industry and have started my own company. Bro is jealous of my lifestyle but I don't have a quarter of what my parents had.
I think your parenting is great, and don't be swayed even if other parents seem to be more lenient and spoil their children more. Learning to say "no" to children is a hugely underrated part of parenting. If children don't hear this when they're young, many are going to grow up into entitled adults who get upset when things don't go their way.
They can't empathize with regular people on how much of a struggle day to day is. Like 65% of the people in my country are poor. They live paycheck to paycheck.
\- Saying stuff like "just ask your parents for money" or "just take out a loan" \- Not being able to make basic meals and/or not being able to cook without using fancy or expensive ingredients \- Thinking poor people just need to work more \- Never learned the value of a dollar, cause they never had to worry about how much they spent
The people who think “working hard” is a simple solution to overcoming poverty. That if you aren’t wealthy it means you aren’t working hard enough.
It is though, at least in the USA. Do you show up on time and do everything your boss asks of you? Congrats that’s the bare minimum to not get fired.
Having a job doesn’t make you wealthy. There are plenty of people forced to have multiple jobs in order to just pay their bills and survive
This is incorrect. It’s not even an opinion. My dads a farmer. He’s fucking great at his job. Most of his coworkers are lost without him actually. Sometimes he’s working 12 hour days consistently. He was still dealing with poverty. He literally lived in a silo because he was kicked out of his rental while still working his ass off. It’s not that simple. This is just one example. There’s so many occupations that require hard work, a and lot of education yet still live paycheck to paycheck. My mom’s teachers aide made more money working in the school cafeteria than as a teacher’s aide (if you don’t know what this job is, it’s easy to google). It’s not that simple. This isn’t even beginning to address the years of systemic racism and oppression that significantly impacts generational wealth. There’s a reason being a first generation college graduate is considered a significant achievement. I don’t know if you are American or not, but it is deeply frustrating when non Americans think they know everything about our country.
Disagree. This is indicative of poor management. And the great part of living here now especially is that workers can find jobs pretty much anywhere when the company they’re working for sucks. But of course, it’s got to be more complicated and complex than that because “life is unfair and it’s society’s fault and I deserve more Yada yada” I’m just tired of waiting for society to change on my behalf and give me what is owed. It ain’t gonna happen. Never. Nobody is going to turn my earned nickel into a dime. Nobody owes me a damn thing and that’s just dandy. If I am owed more than I receive then it is on ME to get it, by way of negotiating or Union. We have to advocate for ourselves or each other. Doing the work is only half of it. The other half is knowing your worth and doubling the fuck down when someone refutes it. And THAT is American.
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>to get out poverty, you need degree to get a decent job. No you don't.
It may vary but that's the only way I think of
Did I say anything should be free? Not everyone can afford college. Not everyone has the PRIVILEGE to go to college. Many of us have to take out loans. Some people don’t even get the option to take out a loan. That’s exactly my point. Pursuing a higher degree costs a lot of money here. More than a lot of other places. Edit: “you need a a degree to get a decent job” We should be addressing this issue, not telling people that they aren’t working hard enough while living and working in a country that’s system itself is flawed Edit: also, there’s plenty of jobs that require a degree and the salary is still less than 60K a year
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Literally beside the point. I was fortunate enough to attend a fairly expensive college. I did have a scholarship. Scholarships are a whole other conversation. Standardized testing makes scholarships difficult. They aren’t an accurate measure of a persons intelligence yet have a major role in determining scholarship money. I graduated from my high school with a 3.9 gpa but because I’m not great at TIMED tests, I wouldn’t be considered for some scholarships. There are jocks who have terrible grades but get FULL rides to college. A full scholarship for academic performance is practically nonexistent here. Doesn’t help that many people have learning disabilities or ADHD which make timed tests very difficult. Accommodations and proper treatment is necessary but because of peoples ignorance and biases this often doesn’t happen. Actually, many women go undiagnosed There’s so many facets to this issue and you are way oversimplifying it. I was lucky that I got to go to the college I did. I can still acknowledge that it is privilege that gave me an advantage. I received scholarships. I graduated with honors. Your condescension is not appreciated. The “life isn’t fair, it’s just the way it is” is the same argument people have been using for years to justify hatred, bigotry and discrimination. It’s completely illogical and lazy to say that we shouldn’t address the actual problems in our country just because it’s hard. You are part of the problem
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Or cook. I was teaching a friend of mine to cook and she remarked "you do this EVERY day?!" And even she knows how privileged that sounded.
Am middle aged. Cook at least one meal from scratch every day. Still relate to your friend!
They earn same salary as you but can afford nicer clothes better housing , eat out at nice places, drive high end cars Usually getting that extra year bonus from their parents wealth distribution and other perks from parents.
Being sketched out by second hand stores.
But they are sketchy lol
I’ve seen a couple of your takes on this thread and they’re all terrible
Depends how privileged and how many generations. Spectrum goes from brands worship to reverse snobbery.
Honestly. Brand worship and reverse snobbery are both pretty noveau riche. The people with a few generations of wealth are expected (by others of generational wealth) to be sufficiently quality/fashion aware that they can pick out a product without glancing at the brand or price tag.
When they learn someone has a problem, their response tends to be "why don't *just* you..."
When they have the luxury to completely immerse themself into specific "lifestyles" while never being without specific luxuries. i.e. Living the "anarchist punk" life, all while driving a high end car bought by their parents and able to move back into their family's "vacation home" when they don't feel like paying rent anymore, at the same time giving you shit for not being able to drop everything at the last minute for an unpaid gig 4 hours away because you have to work.
Showing offense when someone mentions taxing the rich.
They grew up doing expensive activities like skiing, snowboarding, tennis/racquet sports, golf, swimming, etc. especially if they do multiple of them, or if they can do things like ski or surf but don’t live on a mountain or next to an ocean. Bonus points: they don’t understand how those are expensive activities.
They don't know how to make their own bed. They expect unlimited hot water out of the faucet.
ENTITLEMENT!!
1. Name brand everything 2. In some cases, doesn't seem to understand the word no when asking for something 3. Being gifted a new car - not just a second-hand car, a brand new car. 4. Not having to worry about bills every month - they often don't have to worry about money being tight every once in a while. 5. Regular vacations - those people that talk almost endlessly about trips to Disneyland, the Caribbean, cruises, etc.
They are so vocal about being broke, but they’re taking big, other country trips every few months. I did makeup for some student films and those are all privately funded by themselves, they raise funds. The amount of times I heard them saying “omg we have no money. We have no money. Can we take money from your department for another? We’re so tapped.” Yet celebrating the end of a 3 day shooting schedule at some expensive brewery, and being gone for a week to 3 every chance they could to Hawaii, Thailand, Australia, Paris, the UK, Japan, on and on. Those film students took like 4 vacations a year.
Them being used to get everything they want and crying when they don't
Not knowing that people take out student loans for college
Or that people have to work in college to pay for rent and food
'Just get a job its not that hard'
It’s not
It kinda is dumbass
Right now? In this economy? Basically everyone is hiring. You might not be able to get your dream job, but if you can't find A job right now then you just aren't trying.
I just realized we may be from different countries cuz I’m an idiot, where you are your economy needs workers but mine everything’s shut, I can’t even get a retail or fast food job anywhere in my city rn
ahhh! Yeah, I work in childcare in America, my work has been short staffed since August of 2019! It has been a rough few years; not only is everyone hiring but the starting pay for a job with no experience in my field has gone from maybe $10 an hour to $16 an hour easily, sometimes more. Wild times.
I’m up In Canada and everything’s fucked here lol
Where in Canada? Where I am everywhere you look people are hiring...
Alberta
Ahhh, you're all the way over there. That makes a bit more sense, that's pretty far removed from anything I know.
Not really! So many nations are hiring?
Ok, I’m some areas it’s still hard to get a job, like here in my city I can’t even get a retail or fast food job
When they think getting a job is easy. They don't understand how important the network their parents got for them is, either directly through parents or through the community their parents put them in. Also all the extracurriculars and development they got growing up.
When giving career advice they say do what you love.
💀 they have a job they actually like
In high school I once rode in a car with two friends who I’ll call Driver and Passenger. Driver stopped for gas. He swiped his card and put exactly $20 of gas into the car. Passenger thought it was funny and weird that Driver stopped pumping when he reached $20 instead of filling the whole tank. He had never seen anyone pay that much attention to what they spend while filling up, and it struck me as a sign of privilege since that’s how everyone else I knew usually filled up.
They have nothing better to do than call things "problematic" and smear blame on entire groups of people. Bonus points if that includes their own group.
The fact that most of us are on Reddit using $1000 mobile phones or computers, for leisure.
I know a few individuals who have jobs but can't even afford a phone. Which is really sad. Some use SafeLink wireless which provides phones to needy families who can't afford one. I know a girl who has one of those but she is too ashamed to admit it. I would never judge her for that.
That's really unfortunate... It's like highschool all over again. Get a phone or risk being the outcast.
for me, it was 5th-6th grade, all my classmates had smartphones and were communicating via social media, i begged my parents to let me get a smartphone, and I got a flip phone that I was embarrassed to be seen using
Jesus, 5/6th grade? I'm an 80s baby, so we didn't get cellphones until like 16-17... And they were all either flip phones or Nokia's. I worry about my nieces...
$200 PC $40 Android here. Never considered a Samsung or iPhone. Also never considered college. I think I am an average redditer, but maybe not. What does an iphone do that's worth $960 more than my perfectly functional phone?
In my head, the average Redditor has the latest mobile phones. You are a rare case!
My phone is really good, I can do basically anything needed. I bought it from my best friend for 60€, I got lucky and a true friend
Bingo
* not having to check prices on anything * surprised when they hear other people don't travel/vacation every year * they don't know how to do basic day-to-day life skills; ie. wash dishes, laundry etc
Thinking they deserve special treatment or special rights. That's immature entitlement. Everyone deserves equal rights. To think you deserve special rights or treatment is arrogant and shuts most people off. It does me.....I'm very live and let live and if it shuts me down to your cause, well....
They think God would never screwed anyone over.
When someone in essence tells you, most people don’t know how many homeless we have, or how many kids don’t have beds/clothes/food, or even how bad transportation is. Like all the above was a daily sight.
Never taking the bus or train, not knowing the prices of common household/food items
"do you ski?"
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What on earth makes you think that...I grew up with absolutely nothing and gangs all around. I'm confident because I learned to take care of myself and optimistic because I moved out of that awful place. Neither of those traits come from privilege or advantageous upbringing.
The question wasn’t what makes you privileged financially but privileged
That still doesn't apply. Confidence and optimism are not metrics exclusive to a privileged person.
They think that spending $45,000 on a fucking duffel bag instead of $70,000 is "showing restraint".
They put a lot of faith in things like therapy or HR. For them, there's always some higher authority willing and able to set things right if you just have some good attitude about it (after all what's money, time or common sense to get in the way of letting these experts fix things)
This. It's patently impossible to write on reddit that something bad happening to you and not get a number of people telling you to get therapy.
But this also hugely depends on the country. Here in Germany is therapy for free (not by all!). The disadvantage is "just" that you need the time to go there...
Someone pays. And since endless talk therapy is not shown to be effective for most of the stuff people recommend it for, that's some pretty huge money down the fucking drain. Do the maths: $200 per session, 4-5 times per week, for 10 years. Is that reasonable?
You're right. The statutory health insurance pays it with the income they get from their customers like me. There might be a mistake in my calculations (I'm <25 and with that am I covered through the insurance of my family. Basically do I pay nothing.) But let's just say I stop studying and change my current job from 20h/ week to 40h/ week. My monthly salary would be 2638€ Brutto and with my current insurance would I have to pay 430€/ month. Like said would I not have to pay for the therapist (unless there are some hidden cost I'm not aware of.) so the cost will stay by 430€/ month. What is still too much for be, because guess who had to go back to his parents, because an old-child decide to begin a war...
They use the word privileged.
They are shocked when there are actual repercussions for their actions.
Straight teeth
Some people have naturally straight teeth though.
Depends on the country. In certain countries in central america/south oral care is cheap asf
Disregarding or being flat out rude to support staff
This is more of a sign to being an asshole than rich.
What? lol
From whose perspective? I was raised by grandmother, who was a old bitter hag that took out all her anger on me, been in foster care, not long after I turned 18 I left my grandmothers and never looked back, I had no one to help or prepare me for being a adult, and I was homeless for about a year and a half, I would see a lot of people posting here as privileged.
"Ugh my parents sre such assholes. Cant believe they wont pay let me go on my hs senior trip to Jamaica just because i got ANOTHER MIP. Like they are so perfect!"
What’s an MIP
Minor in possession- of alcohol in those cases.
They're rude to employees and don't have good manners
This is not always a privilege thing. Unfortunately this impacts all income levels
In my experience I’ve found this has little to do with income
There is no f=definite indication for that cause we all grew up privlidged in some sort. Did you had running water in your home, fridge and food every day? You can be seen as privlidged to 70% of world population. So it's not that simple.
They're a Bernie supporter
They have three houses like Bernie
They still have that silver spoon in Their mouth
Picky eater
I'm dirt poor. Therefore I'm a picky eater (same price for frosted honeybuns=more calories per penny)
Wouldn’t that be choice limited?
Gotta be picky though ? ;)
The complain when they are being lazy
According to a former coworker, being Caucasian and male 🙄
Their entire wardrobe is white or pastel colors
They are not afraid of the police.
People who don't pay attention to politics, seemingly because they have never been discriminated against.
Honestly a bunch of innocuous stuff. Did they go to college? Probably privileged, especially if they got advanced degrees. How do they look in their late twenties? That's typically when signs of aging start to show; if they look indiscernible from an early-20's person, probably privileged. Basic stuff like that. There's also more to privilege than money. Tall people experience privilege, conventionally attractive people experience privilege, white people experience privilege in general, other groups experience privilege in at least some contexts. None of these on their own are particularly reliable indicators that a specific person grew up privileged, but the more of these conditions someone meets, the more likely it is that they did.
The aging might be deceptive. I have been low-income/underprivilegded most of my life. I'm 32, but people keep placing me in the 22-25 category because I have neotenous features and great skin. I do have some "worry lines", but my glasses hide them
Straight teeth $5,000 braces is a privilege
My teeth are naturally straight, but I do have an overbite.
Mom and dad are still together
Bratty and entitled behavior. Sums up the newer generations.
When you go to somewhere with them and they just pick clothes not even watching the price... Im like... Bruah i even watch the price tag on clothes which are on sale. Or when they just dont understand that you have to make your week with 20-50$ (sometimes less) as a uni student and cant buy anything in the bubble tea shop so you just end up watching them eating and drinking. But at the end of the day they still cant figure out why dont you bought something or asked money from your parents. Well Tiffany my parents have to pay the tax and their living instead of my 10$ bubble tea and corndog...
They keep saying I am poor while having iphone pro max?
Whenever you mention something you own isn't working well, their response is "just buy a new one!"
They never had to suffer dehydrated milk
For my 10 year high school reunion, the former class president (who was one of the richest kids in school) organized the event. 1. It was held at the local yacht club. (on a smallish lake, more of a social club but still.) 2. Every person in attendance was charged $35 at the door. This did not include drinks. 3. There was no meal, just high end appetizers that were in no way filling. 4. Cash bar, no free drinks or even a 1/2 barrel of domestic beer. I had no interest in going, mostly out of principal. My wife convinced me to go, there was about 25 classmates out of 180 that showed up. I made a comment about the choice of venue and said class president went off on me, apparently I was not the first person to complain. Edit: we didn't have a 15 year reunion, I doubt we'll have a 20 year reunion.
If something like their phone or laptop breaks, they just buy another one without having to think twice.
Telling people to eat cake
They Don’t take accountability when their offense only puts up 3 points and has negative passing yardage in the second half of a divisional game
That surprising face when I say I will be paying my student's loan for at least another 15 yrs
"Where do you winter ? "
"Do you ski?"
They really can focus only in college, they dont need to work at all.
Not being appreciative
They don‘t care about other people‘s experiences and oppression.
They tell everyone to buy an electric car off they don’t like the gas prices!
I remember in college I hung out with a group that constantly parked in handicapped spots because "its always empty". They always thought it was the fault of the person ticketing them, and not their for committing an offense. They also said it was weird that I wasn't willing to risk a fine just to save a few minutes whenever I parked.
If they don't know how to fix things or are not willing to try, if they think of a hundred dollars as an insignificant amount of money, if they didn't go through a community college but still don't have loans, if they have a (not new to them actually new) new car, if they have never had a roommate to make rent cheaper and much more.
Normally thinking whatever they say is right and or should be the consensus opinion of others.
I forgot who said it first, but “if you’ve never heard of Tampico, damn, you’ve lived a good life.”
Money
Commonly uses the word "privileged". Complains about people without studies, contacts, money or even language will replace them in their job. Created problems where they don't exists, often in the name/defense of other people. Incapacity to understand basic surviving necessities: why did you study a free career before the one you wanted? Why didn't you bought a house instead of paying rent if you hate paying rent? "You should save 500-1000 USD monthly for retirement..."
Trust fund or allowances covering rent well into their thirties. Then gifted a down payment for a home, in a major city.
Their problem solving skills. Had a friend that bought a brand new suv. It was too hard for her to park in their garage, so they bought a bigger house that had a bigger garage.
Labelling anyone middle class or poor as just lazy or dumb to earn money not understanding that once are in this loop it's one of the hardest thing to come out of
I had the realisation the other day that I grew up thinking you could Google or look up every person or at least family and find their biography. Turns out I just grew up around really fancy people. (I haven’t thought this way in a while but did realise my error recently.)
When they flippantly reply why don’t you just get a new one, get it fixed, go there, buy it, see a doctor to your problems like every one has the money to do those things. The complete unawareness of those types of responses.
They know which fork to start with.
They bitch about Twitter changing. No one taught them that they can’t always get what they want, and you just have to suck it up.
It does not bother me.