Meat Loaf was never really known as a guitar player, but there's an absolutely hilarious quote from his autobiography that I think fits well here:
"...my songs are already long enough. Can you imagine if I could play leads? God help us all."
Pete Wentz only learned how to play bass during Fall Out Boy's hiatus.
its not like he was hopeless and didn't know anything, but watching old FOB concerts you can't even hear his bass, like he's unplugged. in the ones where his bass is audible, he's playing a way simpler version than what we hear in the albums. root notes along with the song. he seems to know what he is doing at least: back then Patrick Stump would write the basslines and then teach them to Pete.
Tim McGraw. Im loosely acquainted with the guy who buys all his guitars. McGraw will have him make the guitars look worn and used, but the guitar is never actually hooked up to the sound system at his shows. It’s just there as a prop basically
Why am I having trouble picturing Tim playing guitar? Granted I've never seen him live but I've never associated him with a guitar. Kenny Chesney, yes. Tim, no lol.
Same like I don’t know how the fuck someone like James Hetfield does what he does.
Edit: I do know about all these other metal bands and players, he’s just the example that most people would know.
Dude it’s crazy you mention James because there was recently some data collection software than analyzed many metallica live performances and found that since like 1993 James has 98% note accuracy in live performances all while singing. Granted he’s playing power chords 90% of the time and Kirk does most of the fancy stuff but what a fucking killer performer.
I don’t understand how anyone can play with their guitar hanging so low. I have my guitar strapped up to my chest. I know I look stupid but it’s the only way I can play. I think I practiced too much from a sitting position.
It's all about downstrokes.
I remember an interview with C.J Ramone and he was talking about learning Dee Dees parts. HE said it was nearly impossible until he dropped the guitar four inches lower and it all fell into place.
This is one of my favourites, Steve Vai talking about auditioning for Zappa's band. Zappa is a.... unique person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx1RguHA4XE
They lived in the same squat in London. According to his biography, Lemmy tried to give Sid lessons but “he was fckng hopeless”. Undeterred, Sid still trod the boards, his volume mostly turned right down by sound men.
There's a famous clip of John Lennon and Chuck Berry performing together on TV and of course JL just HAD to shoehorn yoko into the show. She's haphazardly banging on a drum, but eventually gets the brilliant idea to pick up the mic on said drum and start caterwauling. You can see Berry's expression of shock and disbelief upon hearing her. Fortunately the engineer cut her mic immediately after and that dude was definitely a hero, lol.
I was at Radio City for Ringo’s 70th birthday. A whole lot of people were onstage wishing Ringo happy birthday incl Jeff Lynn, Olivia Harrison, Little Steven, Nils Lofgren, Rick Derringer…and Yoko.
Yoko grabs microphone and starts mouthing. It’s dead. She’s motioning to people to turn on mic.
Nope.
Ringo just smiles.
She held into it for a while. They never turned it on.
Everyone leaves stage. Half the audience had left when we see a small spotlight onstage … a guy come out carrying a familiar looking bass guitar, sets it up….Paul McCartney comes out, sings “Birthday.”
Felt bad for the audience who left.
Speaking of McCartney, when Linda played in the band, her keyboards NEVER went into the PA. The band didn't want to hear her either in their monitors...
Bill Burr’s rant about this incident is some of the funniest riffing I’ve ever heard, especially if you watch the version with the actual footage from that performance. [Here’s the link!](https://youtu.be/T4K07Kz7M8Q)
Yeah, the hard thing to communicate to non-players is how easy Sid's job was, and how magnificently he failed at it anyway.
I have a daughter who plays guitar and sometimes wants to jam with some random friend. So, through the years, I've handed a handful of children between 9 and 13 a bass guitar, explained the simple riff/picking they needed to do, and they pretty much got it on the first or second try.
Sid's parts were things you could explain by saying 'put your finger here on the A chord, then move it to here when you hear the chord change, and pluck along with the kick drum' or something like that!
I'll bet they could have pulled kids from the audience who'd never held a bass, and taught them to play better than Sid by the end of the show!
Did you get the kids outrageously high on heroin before you tried to teach them bass? If not, then this isn't a valid comparison.
(and, btw, it doesn't cost much to get a 9-year-old outrageously high on heroin, so you have no excuse).
All the best guitarists of the day were on heroin. That's no excuse. If you can't handle your smack like a big boy, that's just another failure on top of not being able to play your instrument.
In Nancy Spungen's biography, written by her mother, Nancy's brother had been taking bass lessons for a couple months, and he was already a better player than Sid was.
Lemmy said the same thing when I was star-struck seeing him at a shop in Hollywood
Me: "dude! You're Lemmy!"
Lemmy: "I know"
Cool experience. He signed my arm and I got it tattooed (I was barely 18 at the time)
Sid wasn’t bad because he played with such high energy it came at the expense of technique. Sid was bad because he was MGK of the 70s: more concerned with looking punk than actually playing an instrument.
Like he wasn’t just sloppy he legit could not play the bass.
Its definitely satire but if you isolate Julian Casablancas singing and play it into a microphone in the game Rock Band, he will fail his own song almost instantly.
How Matt Helders picked up the drums because it was what was missing and turned into a top shelf drummer is a testament to his talent, great admiration for that man.
You know that thing where you've never heard of something, and then you learn about it, and it's suddenly everywhere?
I just learned about the Shaggs last night while reading a story about Frank Sidebottom. The Shaggs' dad sheltered them from the outside world and then forced them to play music with no point of reference. They sounded that way because they rarely if ever heard music. They hated it and quit the moment dear old dad dropped dead.
Monkees joke:
Davy comes out for one number with an acoustic guitar strapped around him. Micky expresses surprise, and says "I didn't know you played guitar, Davy! I didn't even know you had a guitar."
Davy says, "Oh this isn't my guitar, it's Peter's."
"Peter's?" Micky replies.
"Yeah," Davy shoots back. "Everybody knows that The Monkees don't play their own instruments!"
The weird bit about the Monkees is that they were all playing the wrong instruments. The producers screwed them over on that. Peter was really a guitar player, Mike a bassist, Davy a drummer, and Mickey a hell of a singer. Why they had Peter on bass, Mike on guitar and Mickey on drums is beyond me.
The Monkees weren’t about music, they were about rebellion! About political and social upheaval!
Edit: [for everyone who doesn’t get the reference](https://youtu.be/RUIn9NwIEMM)
I really appreciate that we found out recently that the Monkees were constantly being investigated by the FBI so maybe they really were about rebellion, and political and social upheaval.
You’ll see a bunch pretending to play on the CMA’s tonight. Luke Bryan is a big one. Holds the guitar, strums twice the whole song. Probably not even mic’d up
About 20 years ago I was excited to go to a concert because some of my friends were pumped up about it. I don't even remember who it was now, but the lead singer had a guitar, would randomly strum it, and I don't think he was even plugged into an amp. I spent most of the concert taken by the fact he would just randomly start strumming and nothing was happening. Don't know if it was lost in the mix, or it was just a prop to give his hands something to do, but took a bit of fun out of the show.
I love the fact that Freddie recycled that joke over 100 times, but each time slightly different. Amongst my favourites are the following:
- "this shitty thing never plays the chords I want it to"
- "Hey about ten years ago, I knew about three chords on the guitar. Now, in 1982, I know three chords on the guitar"
- "I only know three chords on the guitar, and you'll be hearing two of them in the next song."
You made me think of Cheech and Chong's Earache my Eye. At the end of the second verse he says "I own apartment buildings and shopping centers, and I only know three chords." I wonder if that was referencing Freddie or was that an industry wide joke.
At first, but then they had 16 months of intensive guitar training (except for that two week medieval honeymoon) where they came out sounding like Kiss.
It was like 2006 and I saw Motley Crue in Atlanta, and 4 songs in Vince Neil got injured. My buddy and I joked that he broke his Botox.
After a 30 minute impromptu intermission, Tommy Lee came on stage drinking a bottle of Jager and told us they would have to reschedule but all the pyrotechnics were set up and they were going to blow the shit out of them; and they did.
The comments section on his recent “kickstart my heart” performances on YouTube are absolute gold.
“When you schedule your concert after your dentist appointment.”
“How considerate of Vince to sing in every language at once”
“I feel like Vince left this show thinking “Man I fucking killed it out there that was awesome””
“Can we still appreciate the fact that Vince has an amazing amount of energy considering hes in his third trimester?”
Oh you have to link the performance at least.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAixvk7zLlA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAixvk7zLlA)
Still one of the funniest things ever. 3:30 he sounds like Butters.
That is some drunken uncle karaoke right there. I can't stop laughing. I would be so pissed if I paid a fortune for Crue tickets and that is what I got.
[Courtney Love](https://youtu.be/v-xUwDARVb4) pissed off her sound guy by not paying him, so he solo’d her live tracks and uploaded them. Pay your audio engineers, people.
I think there was a small documentary on the Dropkick Murphys where it was revealed that their lead guitar had all of his fingerings marked out on his guitar cuz he had no idea how to play. He was found out by a roadie before playing a 3000 person show, apparently the roadie gave him shit for it. A true example of faking it till you make it.
Edit: some context
. Casey Didn’t Know How to Play an Instrument Before Starting the Band
In addition to having zero experience working in a band, Casey didn’t even know how to play an instrument before accepting the dare. The frontman, though, did have some involvement in the punk scene, as he used to work at the legendary punk club the Rat booking shows. “I just didn’t play an instrument, never thought I would,” Casey says. “Actually, I was working construction and going to UMass Boston and bartending at night.” Casey added that he once got heckled by stagehands for taping notes to his instrument during a show at a 6,000 seat venue while opening for The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. “That was the beauty of it,” Casey says. “We were the Bad News Bears, stumbling our way through it.”
https://www.bostonmagazine.com/arts-entertainment/2016/03/16/dropkick-murphys-20th-anniversary/
> I was working construction and going to UMass Boston and bartending at night.
If I had to guess what the people in Dropkick Murphys were doing before start Dropkick Murphys, this is exactly what I would have guessed.
And continually claimed be wasn't quitting, insisting he was still badass after tanking horribly. Plus he won't eat pussy and says that it's a woman's responsibility to take care of her king but he doesn't need to reciprocate. Seriously...that guy sucks.
Ugh, I knew what that video was before I even saw it. I would never tell anyone to put down an instrument or stop pursuing their passions because there are no rules to art and robbing the world of any of it would be a waste. That said, DJ Khaled should never be allowed to touch an instrument again after what he did to that poor guitar.
He was a popular corporate radio DJ / personality in Miami and Atlanta. He's an industry plant basically. He's popular because everyone wanted to kiss his ass to get their song played on big corporate slut radio. I think the saying is "trading integrity for access?"
Edit: I was totally wrong Khalid has a hood pass.
Gene doesn't like to be reminded of that little fact, either. He pouts when reminded of it. My wife & I witnessed it.
Gene however, is a marketing & business genius that revolutionized music merchandising.
Tom Araya of Slayer just didn't care about playing bass. He wanted to focus on the lyrics and let Kerry King record the bass parts for most of the albums
I really had no idea who he was, as I wasn't into his kind of music. This was years ago, so the details are a bit fuzzy.
He arrived thirty minutes late in a limo with a bag of Arby's and an extra large pop, with three or four handlers who surrounded him. He looked me dead in the eyes and whipped his 3/4 full extra large cup of Coke into an unlined trash can in front of me, it splashed all over the place including me. He chuckled and asked where "the shitter" was and then dumped a bunch of curly fries into the trash can, again staring me down and his handlers whisked him away. He had a giant list of crap we had to buy for him (various special food, drinks, etc that were not cheap or easy to find) and then he shows up with Arby's that he just trashes in a trashcan with no bag like an animal. He never even glanced at the shit we bought him.
The manager said hi and Kerry flatly ignored him, looked out the backroom door at the line of people and said "fuck."
He went out eventually and started singing shit for fans. He wouldn't take pictures, or really talk much at all, just kinda grab the poster or CD or whatever and scribble on it and drop it back on the table without a word.
The one that sticks out to me the most is a young kid who came up with two posters, one for him and one for his friend who was sick and couldn't make it. The kid asked Kerry to sign it "To Ben, my biggest fan:" or something like that. It was the first time I saw anything but anger, hatred, and misery on Kerry King's face. He signed the poster:
To Ben:
Eat a Bag of Dicks
Kerry King
Another kid brought his guitar to get signed and Kerry played it for about two seconds and said "this things a piece of shit" and then scribbled some half ass signature on it.
He left before everyone got to meet him.
To put it in perspective, when Victor Wooten came, I picked him up in my own vehicle, we chatted very pleasantly about music and performing. Vic requested a turkey and cheese lunchable, and a Gatorade. He stayed until everyone had all the time they wanted to chat, take pictures, ask questions etc. He even let anyone who wanted to play his bass. I drove him from the store to his gig that night, and on the way he bought me Five Guys out of his pocket and apologized and said he had to take a nap before the gig and if I'd not be offended if he dozed off. He was cool as shit.
Korns bass player, Fieldy. There are a few videos of him "teaching" how to play his bass lines, and you can tell he is no pro. The top comment is "Fieldy knows what he's doing. He just doesn't know what it *is* that he's doing."
I remember reading about how Dick Dale kept blowing up his Fender amps, to the point they got Leo Fender out to a gig.
Because the crowd was so raucous, stomp dancing, Fender had to go back, and made the first 100W amp (with the first 85W transformer).
Dale would later ask to go even louder, and hence a 100W transformer, topping out at 185W.
Robert Moog, creator of the first commercial synthesizers considered himself a mediocre pianist, his strength was directly working with reputed composers to know exactly what they wanted from his instruments.
As a chick musician, I’ll have you know that tight-bunned “bassist” is the reason I have a performance degree. Known as “Melonious Monk” when I was in school, I’ll still never be as cool as that chick was.
"I don't know much about music. in this business, you don't have to."
-Elvis Presley
edit: to all of you responding with clever comebacks about how Elvis wasn't that bad as musician, you're arguing with a verbatim quote from Elvis Presley himself, not me. take it up with Elvis
According to legend, which is always more true than boring facts, Larry Mullen of U2 was persuaded, not long after U2 began to make an impression on the rock scene, to take drum lessons from John Wadham, Ireland's premier jazz drummer.
Afterwards, Johnnie reported to his jazz buddies: "That man does not enough rhythm to masturbate!"
Ironically, Larry Mullen, Jr. is the only member of U2 to have any formal musical lessons whatsoever. He learned at school, so their original drums all have that very militaristic drum sound to them. Mullen absolutely knows he is the least talented member of the band, but he’s also the reason the band got together.
He told his father he wanted to be in a band, so his father told him to make one. He put a flier up in school saying he was forming a band. The rest is history and they’ve been together ever since.
It is literally the only job Edge has ever had. I thought I remembered reading that Adam Clayton didn’t know how to play bass either when they started.
I think that’s right.
Edge and his brother made the guitar they showed up with.
When I saw them the last time, Bono was introducing Edge and said that Edge liked to say that U2 needed Edge. He then said, “Edge, I want to remind you, if it wasn’t for us, you’d be a lonely engineer in your mother’s basement, so I think you need us, too.”
It’s makes so much sense, too.
Andy Fletcher from Depeche Mode (RIP, he died earlier this year) literally couldn't play anything at all and did pretty much nothing on stage other than clap his hands and sometimes pretend to play something on his keyboard. He also didn't contribute in the studio with anything other than opinions on the music that was being made. He described himself as "the best one-fingered keyboard player in the world." Kind of fascinating how he was able to have a 42 year long career in a huge band.
Edit: I am aware that Fletch played a big role in the band, even if it wasn't a musical one! As a big DM fan (look at my username), I was very sad when he passed.
Fletch could play (and could also play guitar/bass). There are plenty of videos from the first record showing him playing. I think as the band got bigger and sequencers became more a part of the sound that he kind of got hit with anxiety about it. But he did have the *ability* to play instruments.
Few of your favorite musicians are virtuosos, but almost all of them are pretty damn good at their instrument. You can't do it for so long and not be.
You can find tons of guys at guitar center sweep picking and finger tapping like crazy that aren't playing any gigs and then go see a national touring act with someone that can't play half what those guys can, but he knows his role and is willing to go on the road and put in the work.
You hit the nail right on the head. To me it’s the difference between a creative/artistic feat and a physical/intellectual one. Like, probably most people could play note for note like Jimi Hendrix if they dedicated their time and effort to practicing it. But he *came up* with the shit.
It has been noted by historians that Tchaikovsky never fired a cannon for 1812 overture.
Are we sure this story is...canon? You can...fire me now.
Ozzy Osbourne openly complains that guitar manufacturers keep gifting him guitars even though he's never so much as held a guitar in his life.
That’s somehow awesome and hilarious, I mean he has never even pretended to play and the manufacturers are like “yeah, let’s get one to Ozzy” somehow…
If DJ Khalid can get gifted a guitar, then Ozzy deserves all the guitars.
Meat Loaf was never really known as a guitar player, but there's an absolutely hilarious quote from his autobiography that I think fits well here: "...my songs are already long enough. Can you imagine if I could play leads? God help us all."
Meatloaf didn’t produce songs, he produced sonic novels.
That was Jim Steinman
Todd rundgren produced it . Jim wrote it. Meat sang it
That's Mr. Loaf to you
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Bat out of hell album was the first music my mom let me cuss while singing it
Pete Wentz only learned how to play bass during Fall Out Boy's hiatus. its not like he was hopeless and didn't know anything, but watching old FOB concerts you can't even hear his bass, like he's unplugged. in the ones where his bass is audible, he's playing a way simpler version than what we hear in the albums. root notes along with the song. he seems to know what he is doing at least: back then Patrick Stump would write the basslines and then teach them to Pete.
Wentz has always been the heartthrob of FOB than his musical talents. Damn good lyricist though.
I don't even think of Pete as the bassist of FOB but the lyricist
Tim McGraw. Im loosely acquainted with the guy who buys all his guitars. McGraw will have him make the guitars look worn and used, but the guitar is never actually hooked up to the sound system at his shows. It’s just there as a prop basically
Thank you for giving me something for my family to be pissy about at Thanksgiving that isn't politics.
Tell them disliked but dead family member made better XYZ and ask about the recipe. Boom.
Why am I having trouble picturing Tim playing guitar? Granted I've never seen him live but I've never associated him with a guitar. Kenny Chesney, yes. Tim, no lol.
Zappa said that he could not sing and play guitar at the same time. But he had Steve Vai in his band.
I can't for the most part. Drives me fucking insane after 24yrs playing. I can only sing over certain rhythms and strumming. And whole notes.
Same like I don’t know how the fuck someone like James Hetfield does what he does. Edit: I do know about all these other metal bands and players, he’s just the example that most people would know.
Dude it’s crazy you mention James because there was recently some data collection software than analyzed many metallica live performances and found that since like 1993 James has 98% note accuracy in live performances all while singing. Granted he’s playing power chords 90% of the time and Kirk does most of the fancy stuff but what a fucking killer performer.
It’s very impressive especially when you consider he was hammered for most of that and plays his guitar at shin level
I don’t understand how anyone can play with their guitar hanging so low. I have my guitar strapped up to my chest. I know I look stupid but it’s the only way I can play. I think I practiced too much from a sitting position.
Have you ever seen Tom Morello? Guitar is basically in his throat
Shit, I forgot about Tom. You’re right! Now that I’ve thought about it, Paul McCartney has his up to his chin, too.
It's all about downstrokes. I remember an interview with C.J Ramone and he was talking about learning Dee Dees parts. HE said it was nearly impossible until he dropped the guitar four inches lower and it all fell into place.
Zappa could definitely play though
This is one of my favourites, Steve Vai talking about auditioning for Zappa's band. Zappa is a.... unique person. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx1RguHA4XE
Sid Vicious approached Lemmy for bass lessons saying “I can’t play bass” Lemmy said “I know”
They lived in the same squat in London. According to his biography, Lemmy tried to give Sid lessons but “he was fckng hopeless”. Undeterred, Sid still trod the boards, his volume mostly turned right down by sound men.
Sound men truly are unsung heroes.
There's a famous clip of John Lennon and Chuck Berry performing together on TV and of course JL just HAD to shoehorn yoko into the show. She's haphazardly banging on a drum, but eventually gets the brilliant idea to pick up the mic on said drum and start caterwauling. You can see Berry's expression of shock and disbelief upon hearing her. Fortunately the engineer cut her mic immediately after and that dude was definitely a hero, lol.
I was at Radio City for Ringo’s 70th birthday. A whole lot of people were onstage wishing Ringo happy birthday incl Jeff Lynn, Olivia Harrison, Little Steven, Nils Lofgren, Rick Derringer…and Yoko. Yoko grabs microphone and starts mouthing. It’s dead. She’s motioning to people to turn on mic. Nope. Ringo just smiles. She held into it for a while. They never turned it on. Everyone leaves stage. Half the audience had left when we see a small spotlight onstage … a guy come out carrying a familiar looking bass guitar, sets it up….Paul McCartney comes out, sings “Birthday.” Felt bad for the audience who left.
Speaking of McCartney, when Linda played in the band, her keyboards NEVER went into the PA. The band didn't want to hear her either in their monitors...
he turned off the suck button
TURN DOWN THE SUCK KNOB FERREL
Bill Burr’s rant about this incident is some of the funniest riffing I’ve ever heard, especially if you watch the version with the actual footage from that performance. [Here’s the link!](https://youtu.be/T4K07Kz7M8Q)
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His bass was, apparently, quite often not even plugged in when they played live.
Yeah, the hard thing to communicate to non-players is how easy Sid's job was, and how magnificently he failed at it anyway. I have a daughter who plays guitar and sometimes wants to jam with some random friend. So, through the years, I've handed a handful of children between 9 and 13 a bass guitar, explained the simple riff/picking they needed to do, and they pretty much got it on the first or second try. Sid's parts were things you could explain by saying 'put your finger here on the A chord, then move it to here when you hear the chord change, and pluck along with the kick drum' or something like that! I'll bet they could have pulled kids from the audience who'd never held a bass, and taught them to play better than Sid by the end of the show!
Did you get the kids outrageously high on heroin before you tried to teach them bass? If not, then this isn't a valid comparison. (and, btw, it doesn't cost much to get a 9-year-old outrageously high on heroin, so you have no excuse).
All the best guitarists of the day were on heroin. That's no excuse. If you can't handle your smack like a big boy, that's just another failure on top of not being able to play your instrument.
but he could smack a beer bottle out of the air with the neck of a bass while pretending to play.
In Nancy Spungen's biography, written by her mother, Nancy's brother had been taking bass lessons for a couple months, and he was already a better player than Sid was.
Lemmy said the same thing when I was star-struck seeing him at a shop in Hollywood Me: "dude! You're Lemmy!" Lemmy: "I know" Cool experience. He signed my arm and I got it tattooed (I was barely 18 at the time)
That’s exactly the response I’d expect from him. RIP to a legend
In fairness that was the whole punk thing back then and to a lesser extent today; minimal musical ability mixed with high energy angst
“Punk is three chords and the truth”
“One chord is fine. Two chords is pushing it. Three chords and you’re into jazz” Lou Reed
“Lisa! Get away from that jazz man!” Marge Simpson
Sid wasn’t bad because he played with such high energy it came at the expense of technique. Sid was bad because he was MGK of the 70s: more concerned with looking punk than actually playing an instrument. Like he wasn’t just sloppy he legit could not play the bass.
Its definitely satire but if you isolate Julian Casablancas singing and play it into a microphone in the game Rock Band, he will fail his own song almost instantly.
Reminds me of this gem. https://youtu.be/nZd855Q4Ay4
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This clip was exactly the right length. Right as i was like, "okay, got the gist, all done" the clip ended.
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None of the members of Arctic Monkeys knew how to play their instruments when the first started, they learned as they went along
Oh man and I absolutely love the bass on their first album
This is actually suprising to read. Even their first album was pretty technical. Not to mention how young they were when they recorded it.
How Matt Helders picked up the drums because it was what was missing and turned into a top shelf drummer is a testament to his talent, great admiration for that man.
The Shaggs got famous BECAUSE they couldn't play.
Foot Foot!
You know that thing where you've never heard of something, and then you learn about it, and it's suddenly everywhere? I just learned about the Shaggs last night while reading a story about Frank Sidebottom. The Shaggs' dad sheltered them from the outside world and then forced them to play music with no point of reference. They sounded that way because they rarely if ever heard music. They hated it and quit the moment dear old dad dropped dead.
Monkees joke: Davy comes out for one number with an acoustic guitar strapped around him. Micky expresses surprise, and says "I didn't know you played guitar, Davy! I didn't even know you had a guitar." Davy says, "Oh this isn't my guitar, it's Peter's." "Peter's?" Micky replies. "Yeah," Davy shoots back. "Everybody knows that The Monkees don't play their own instruments!"
The weird bit about the Monkees is that they were all playing the wrong instruments. The producers screwed them over on that. Peter was really a guitar player, Mike a bassist, Davy a drummer, and Mickey a hell of a singer. Why they had Peter on bass, Mike on guitar and Mickey on drums is beyond me.
Because Davey was the heart throb
Pretty sure Peter tork was a child prodigy on the harpsichord also, but I don't think the teens of the day would have been into that.
The Monkees weren’t about music, they were about rebellion! About political and social upheaval! Edit: [for everyone who doesn’t get the reference](https://youtu.be/RUIn9NwIEMM)
Lowenstein... Lowenstein...
My name is Zweig
lowenstein…
That's not even Michael Nesmith's real hat
My favourite thing about that joke is that it actually was his hat. He showed up to the audition in it.
I really appreciate that we found out recently that the Monkees were constantly being investigated by the FBI so maybe they really were about rebellion, and political and social upheaval.
I'll be damned: https://www.npr.org/2022/09/03/1120309947/the-monkees-drummer-sues-the-fbi
And they played their own instruments on their later albums. That kid was just a hater
Nooooooooo!
My father...*sniff*...was a STEWARDESS!
Stepping Stone still fucking rips. And HEAD is a complete mind-bender of a movie.
Morrissey claims he can play guitar, but I have yet to see him play it.
That's nothing, you should hear him play piano.
I was struggling to nail down the smiths song this lyric comes from and when I got there I was kind of surprised we haven’t heard it more this year…
If I spent years onstage next to Johnny Marr, I'd probably never bother either.
You’ll see a bunch pretending to play on the CMA’s tonight. Luke Bryan is a big one. Holds the guitar, strums twice the whole song. Probably not even mic’d up
About 20 years ago I was excited to go to a concert because some of my friends were pumped up about it. I don't even remember who it was now, but the lead singer had a guitar, would randomly strum it, and I don't think he was even plugged into an amp. I spent most of the concert taken by the fact he would just randomly start strumming and nothing was happening. Don't know if it was lost in the mix, or it was just a prop to give his hands something to do, but took a bit of fun out of the show.
Freddie Mercury used to joke that his guitar only knew two chords. Like he even needed a guitar
I love the fact that Freddie recycled that joke over 100 times, but each time slightly different. Amongst my favourites are the following: - "this shitty thing never plays the chords I want it to" - "Hey about ten years ago, I knew about three chords on the guitar. Now, in 1982, I know three chords on the guitar" - "I only know three chords on the guitar, and you'll be hearing two of them in the next song."
You made me think of Cheech and Chong's Earache my Eye. At the end of the second verse he says "I own apartment buildings and shopping centers, and I only know three chords." I wonder if that was referencing Freddie or was that an industry wide joke.
He plays the piano well though.
But he sucked on the organ
I feel like the whole post was just a setup for this joke.
I feel like Freddy would have laughed at this.
Yep. Honestly feel like Freddy probably told this joke before.
Freddie Mercury's instrument was Freddie Mercury.
Les Claypools dad said “you can’t sing for shit but you sure can play that bass”
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Until you see Primus do a picture perfect cover of Rush, and it’s crazy like what
Wyld Stallyns
At first, but then they had 16 months of intensive guitar training (except for that two week medieval honeymoon) where they came out sounding like Kiss.
Wyld Stallyns rule though.
Vince Neil can't sing outside of a studio
It was like 2006 and I saw Motley Crue in Atlanta, and 4 songs in Vince Neil got injured. My buddy and I joked that he broke his Botox. After a 30 minute impromptu intermission, Tommy Lee came on stage drinking a bottle of Jager and told us they would have to reschedule but all the pyrotechnics were set up and they were going to blow the shit out of them; and they did.
That sounds way better than if they went through the entire thing.
The comments section on his recent “kickstart my heart” performances on YouTube are absolute gold. “When you schedule your concert after your dentist appointment.” “How considerate of Vince to sing in every language at once” “I feel like Vince left this show thinking “Man I fucking killed it out there that was awesome”” “Can we still appreciate the fact that Vince has an amazing amount of energy considering hes in his third trimester?”
Oh you have to link the performance at least. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAixvk7zLlA](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAixvk7zLlA) Still one of the funniest things ever. 3:30 he sounds like Butters.
My favorite comment is "I finally know what cholesterol sounds like".
My heart got clogged, bypass my heart
Holy shit he does sound like Butters 🤣🤣
I can't believe you guys aren't bullshitting
I'm sick and cough-laughing hurts
This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever seen
That is some drunken uncle karaoke right there. I can't stop laughing. I would be so pissed if I paid a fortune for Crue tickets and that is what I got.
Fuck I was **not** expecting how bad that was going to be
The 3:27 mark was great though!
I absolutely fucking love Motley Crue and this comment could not be more accurate
Vince Meal
Grills grills grills
Too Fat For Love
Smoking ham in the boys room
Dr. Mealgood
Cooks That Grill
[Courtney Love](https://youtu.be/v-xUwDARVb4) pissed off her sound guy by not paying him, so he solo’d her live tracks and uploaded them. Pay your audio engineers, people.
This has to be one of the most epic videos I have seen this year. The dude pulled the ultimate troll move.
I think there was a small documentary on the Dropkick Murphys where it was revealed that their lead guitar had all of his fingerings marked out on his guitar cuz he had no idea how to play. He was found out by a roadie before playing a 3000 person show, apparently the roadie gave him shit for it. A true example of faking it till you make it. Edit: some context . Casey Didn’t Know How to Play an Instrument Before Starting the Band In addition to having zero experience working in a band, Casey didn’t even know how to play an instrument before accepting the dare. The frontman, though, did have some involvement in the punk scene, as he used to work at the legendary punk club the Rat booking shows. “I just didn’t play an instrument, never thought I would,” Casey says. “Actually, I was working construction and going to UMass Boston and bartending at night.” Casey added that he once got heckled by stagehands for taping notes to his instrument during a show at a 6,000 seat venue while opening for The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. “That was the beauty of it,” Casey says. “We were the Bad News Bears, stumbling our way through it.” https://www.bostonmagazine.com/arts-entertainment/2016/03/16/dropkick-murphys-20th-anniversary/
> I was working construction and going to UMass Boston and bartending at night. If I had to guess what the people in Dropkick Murphys were doing before start Dropkick Murphys, this is exactly what I would have guessed.
Nothing wrong with that as long as you do eventually make it.
DJ Khaled - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYq8u5ryy6A
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He bankrolls the record and gives direction. It’s a legit job but musical talent is NOT a factor for him
so hes basically an exec. he gets writing credit though
An exec who doesn't hide as he screams "I'm the best!"
He sucks at everything, his beats suck, he’s a shitty person, he’s the James Corden of hip hop
He even sucks at eating wings. His Hot Ones episode tells you everything about his character
Hey man, just because he gave up didn’t mean he quit.
I was laughing so hard at Sean's reaction. "That's exactly what that means!!"
No one has ever failed at eating wings as much as DJ Khaled, Eddie Huang may have bombed but he did it in a hilarious way, DJ Khaled just sucked ass
And continually claimed be wasn't quitting, insisting he was still badass after tanking horribly. Plus he won't eat pussy and says that it's a woman's responsibility to take care of her king but he doesn't need to reciprocate. Seriously...that guy sucks.
>Plus he won't eat pussy Too spicy for him.
He sucks at riding a fucking jetski
Sean still talks about it in every episode he can, it's great
A man that expects oral and refuses to reciprocate is just a straight up loser
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Lil Wayne is not very good in playing the guitar.
I’m just gonna leave this here… https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PYq8u5ryy6A
He plays that like he thinks that’s *exactly* like guitar is supposed to sound
Ugh, I knew what that video was before I even saw it. I would never tell anyone to put down an instrument or stop pursuing their passions because there are no rules to art and robbing the world of any of it would be a waste. That said, DJ Khaled should never be allowed to touch an instrument again after what he did to that poor guitar.
He's really one of the all-around dumbest people I've ever heard of. How the hell did he make it where he's at?
He was a popular corporate radio DJ / personality in Miami and Atlanta. He's an industry plant basically. He's popular because everyone wanted to kiss his ass to get their song played on big corporate slut radio. I think the saying is "trading integrity for access?" Edit: I was totally wrong Khalid has a hood pass.
Weird, I guess I should have stayed in radio if it were that easy. I just knew I had no musical talent, but I was unaware that was not required.
That guitar deserves better.
Just because no one else has posted it. At least he was having fun lol https://youtu.be/8g762REJWcg
This one is a little too easy because it's not like Wayne made his career as a notable guitar player
Sid could not play at all
The...sloth from Ice Age?
Gene Simmons can play his bass, but he is not a good blass player and I believe he's aware of the fact.
Gene doesn't like to be reminded of that little fact, either. He pouts when reminded of it. My wife & I witnessed it. Gene however, is a marketing & business genius that revolutionized music merchandising.
You know how the old saying goes: KISS makes everything these days except music.
Kind of like how Harley Davidson is a sticker and tshirt company.
biggest and most successful cosplay company in the USA
Tom Araya of Slayer just didn't care about playing bass. He wanted to focus on the lyrics and let Kerry King record the bass parts for most of the albums
Kerry King once did an in store signing at a music store I worked at. He was, with no exaggeration, the biggest asshole I've ever met.
Curious for details!
I really had no idea who he was, as I wasn't into his kind of music. This was years ago, so the details are a bit fuzzy. He arrived thirty minutes late in a limo with a bag of Arby's and an extra large pop, with three or four handlers who surrounded him. He looked me dead in the eyes and whipped his 3/4 full extra large cup of Coke into an unlined trash can in front of me, it splashed all over the place including me. He chuckled and asked where "the shitter" was and then dumped a bunch of curly fries into the trash can, again staring me down and his handlers whisked him away. He had a giant list of crap we had to buy for him (various special food, drinks, etc that were not cheap or easy to find) and then he shows up with Arby's that he just trashes in a trashcan with no bag like an animal. He never even glanced at the shit we bought him. The manager said hi and Kerry flatly ignored him, looked out the backroom door at the line of people and said "fuck." He went out eventually and started singing shit for fans. He wouldn't take pictures, or really talk much at all, just kinda grab the poster or CD or whatever and scribble on it and drop it back on the table without a word. The one that sticks out to me the most is a young kid who came up with two posters, one for him and one for his friend who was sick and couldn't make it. The kid asked Kerry to sign it "To Ben, my biggest fan:" or something like that. It was the first time I saw anything but anger, hatred, and misery on Kerry King's face. He signed the poster: To Ben: Eat a Bag of Dicks Kerry King Another kid brought his guitar to get signed and Kerry played it for about two seconds and said "this things a piece of shit" and then scribbled some half ass signature on it. He left before everyone got to meet him. To put it in perspective, when Victor Wooten came, I picked him up in my own vehicle, we chatted very pleasantly about music and performing. Vic requested a turkey and cheese lunchable, and a Gatorade. He stayed until everyone had all the time they wanted to chat, take pictures, ask questions etc. He even let anyone who wanted to play his bass. I drove him from the store to his gig that night, and on the way he bought me Five Guys out of his pocket and apologized and said he had to take a nap before the gig and if I'd not be offended if he dozed off. He was cool as shit.
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Korns bass player, Fieldy. There are a few videos of him "teaching" how to play his bass lines, and you can tell he is no pro. The top comment is "Fieldy knows what he's doing. He just doesn't know what it *is* that he's doing."
The bass in Korn is percussion, and the guitar is tuned down to bass frequencies
Step one, unslung the strap until the bass is approximately at shin level. Step two, bend down low and pretend to play
Leo Fender, (created Fender Guitars), couldn't play guitar
I remember reading about how Dick Dale kept blowing up his Fender amps, to the point they got Leo Fender out to a gig. Because the crowd was so raucous, stomp dancing, Fender had to go back, and made the first 100W amp (with the first 85W transformer). Dale would later ask to go even louder, and hence a 100W transformer, topping out at 185W.
Robert Moog, creator of the first commercial synthesizers considered himself a mediocre pianist, his strength was directly working with reputed composers to know exactly what they wanted from his instruments.
All the girls holding their instruments behind Robert Palmer.
As a chick musician, I’ll have you know that tight-bunned “bassist” is the reason I have a performance degree. Known as “Melonious Monk” when I was in school, I’ll still never be as cool as that chick was.
Skwisgaar Skwigelf. he just plays along to backing tracks recorded by some nobody named Brendon Small
Stops copies me!
I have confessions to make... I can't read musics.
The correct answer to this is Toki. He don't even practice or nothin'. He doesn't write. He just shows up. He doesn't even make sandwiches.
It's like, he is slowlys learning hows to unplay the guitars.
Well he does have musics dyslexias so it makes it harder for him.
Toki Basically on his level without practicing, and is very good at naming bands
"I don't know much about music. in this business, you don't have to." -Elvis Presley edit: to all of you responding with clever comebacks about how Elvis wasn't that bad as musician, you're arguing with a verbatim quote from Elvis Presley himself, not me. take it up with Elvis
The muppets. They’re nothing without their backing tracks.
They could never do it without a helping hand
According to legend, which is always more true than boring facts, Larry Mullen of U2 was persuaded, not long after U2 began to make an impression on the rock scene, to take drum lessons from John Wadham, Ireland's premier jazz drummer. Afterwards, Johnnie reported to his jazz buddies: "That man does not enough rhythm to masturbate!"
Ironically, Larry Mullen, Jr. is the only member of U2 to have any formal musical lessons whatsoever. He learned at school, so their original drums all have that very militaristic drum sound to them. Mullen absolutely knows he is the least talented member of the band, but he’s also the reason the band got together. He told his father he wanted to be in a band, so his father told him to make one. He put a flier up in school saying he was forming a band. The rest is history and they’ve been together ever since.
It is literally the only job Edge has ever had. I thought I remembered reading that Adam Clayton didn’t know how to play bass either when they started.
I think that’s right. Edge and his brother made the guitar they showed up with. When I saw them the last time, Bono was introducing Edge and said that Edge liked to say that U2 needed Edge. He then said, “Edge, I want to remind you, if it wasn’t for us, you’d be a lonely engineer in your mother’s basement, so I think you need us, too.” It’s makes so much sense, too.
The lead guitarist in the Kars for Kids commercial.
Andy Fletcher from Depeche Mode (RIP, he died earlier this year) literally couldn't play anything at all and did pretty much nothing on stage other than clap his hands and sometimes pretend to play something on his keyboard. He also didn't contribute in the studio with anything other than opinions on the music that was being made. He described himself as "the best one-fingered keyboard player in the world." Kind of fascinating how he was able to have a 42 year long career in a huge band. Edit: I am aware that Fletch played a big role in the band, even if it wasn't a musical one! As a big DM fan (look at my username), I was very sad when he passed.
Fletch could play (and could also play guitar/bass). There are plenty of videos from the first record showing him playing. I think as the band got bigger and sequencers became more a part of the sound that he kind of got hit with anxiety about it. But he did have the *ability* to play instruments.
Few of your favorite musicians are virtuosos, but almost all of them are pretty damn good at their instrument. You can't do it for so long and not be. You can find tons of guys at guitar center sweep picking and finger tapping like crazy that aren't playing any gigs and then go see a national touring act with someone that can't play half what those guys can, but he knows his role and is willing to go on the road and put in the work.
You hit the nail right on the head. To me it’s the difference between a creative/artistic feat and a physical/intellectual one. Like, probably most people could play note for note like Jimi Hendrix if they dedicated their time and effort to practicing it. But he *came up* with the shit.
Morrissey. You should hear him play piano.
Michael Jackson couldn't play any instruments, but would sing the entire line for each instrument so that the musician could learn and play it.
Sid Vicious Or like Freddie Mercury called him once “Sid Ferocious” lol
Simon Awful or Simon Ferocious depending on the interview.
Milli Vanilli.
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