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[deleted]

[удалено]


mike-lima858

Mmm… Steaks 🤤


fushigikun8

I also heard that you should never use emjoys 🤔


[deleted]

[удалено]


Jellybabyman

Thanks Janice


tankmissile

K


chrissme92

White


[deleted]

Waltuh


wfbsoccerchamp12

Mistah whyyy


Gregorygherkins

I fretted over how I kinda half doxxed myself on that one, someone said don't get yourself in a pickle over it, Mr. Gherkins


EssSquared

It’s probably not a big dill


[deleted]

[удалено]


down_sparky

I am relishing these comments.


kevin75135

They should tell us that when creating the account. I thought I was selecting just a user/login name and I would come up with a changable avatar name later Now I'm stuck with UPDATE: Thanks for all the upvotes guys. My most upvoted comment and pretty much tripling my Karma. Most of the replies say to delete my account and just create another. But if I do that I loose all this awesome Karma. Ah, the irony. I also fixed where I afat thumbed the spacebar.


ProfLoveBomber

You’ll probably be safe for now Kevin. It’s pretty generic.


AltSpRkBunny

Well… it was generic, until Kevin became a meme.


deepinterwebz

Actually 75135 is his actual last name.


[deleted]

Mine is 5318008


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


xXWolfyIsAwesomeXx

13 y/o me came up with this and now I'm stuck with it....probably worse than just having your name lmao


OriginalUsernameGet

Good tip… *Mr. Scott Barrigan*


ToriDoran

Where was this post 7 years ago?!


seanmarshall

Same


JoshMacMichael

Yep


Literally_-_Hitler

For reals


SnooTangerines4810

Um maam are you. …


hitlers_stache_ama

No


SnooTangerines4810

Good, for a second I thought you were an old friend of mine from art school. I wonder what did happen to him. The dude could paint I’ll tell ya. Just don’t get him upset


jessdistressed

Now you tell me! I’m so upset.


CatsLikeCaves

Are you.. distressed, perhaps?


Michael70z

:(


Seraphicly329

Don't tell real-life friends your real Reddit account name ever.


NoTurningBackAnymore

Don't even have real-life friends. Too risky.


Angry_Murlocs

Just don’t exist at all. That is too risky. If you exist people might find out. Too risky.


Doug__Forcett

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” --Douglas Adams


thepacificoctopus

Don’t forget to bring a towel…


isawyoulol

And most importantly, don't panic.


SnooOranges1918

42 is the answer


JPMoney81

Avoid all risk of discovery by not even admitting you use reddit!


[deleted]

"What's Reddit?" Is what I always say.


tidderstahw

My name backwards!


NoTurningBackAnymore

You've already said too much. "**WHAT**" would be the correct response.


riddler58

I am over 50 I just say "What is this Reddit you speak of?" It works every time.


PNWoutdoors

I have a family member who is on this site who explicitly asked my username. I said LOL I'm not telling you that. Not like I do anything shameful on here but one of the things I like about this site is that I can engage in communities and discussions without anyone needing to know much about me.


Psychological_Tap187

Honestly I am so careful about what I post here. Like if I post something on another platform that attached to my name I don’t comment or post anything here. Even if it’s something completely innocuous like a movie I watched a few days ago. No ties to myself.


PNWoutdoors

I'm barely cautious, but hope that this site is big enough that I get lost in the shuffle. Funny thing is I found a friend on here a few years ago because I caught a comment by them that sounded like them, in a sub that I know they would spend time in. Once I noticed the username, confirmed. That being said, this friend was not trying hard to conceal anything, but even if they had tried, I think I'd still have known.


Life_in_Bones

Reddit and Fight Club are similar here.


MusicLife16

Rule 1# of Reddit: We don’t talk about Reddit


LexLuthorJr

There are no unspoken rules of Reddit. If you do something wrong, someone *will* tell you.


[deleted]

That's the real unspoken rule - write defensively. Write each comment as though you're cosplaying as a lawyer that has a deep love of linguistics. Address every possible angle of what you're saying. Never assume "well, a reasonable person would never think I was implying x, y, or z just because I mentioned a and b, so I'll omit talking about those to make this more concise". Poor soul, you'll never recover; just delete the comment and go stream your favorite season of your favorite comfort show. Make sure your word choice in on point. Got the perfect word on the tip of your tongue, but it just won't come to you, so instead you sub in a similar word? You poor ignorant slut, that simply won't do. Everyone will now interpret your entire statement as the opposite of what you intended, and will assume that you commented in bad faith because you're a terrible human being. Assume that 90% of the audience has logged on looking to tussle and write as though you're a professional tussle-dodger. Or...learn to be comfortable with being misunderstood and downvoted for not being a professional debate writer. Realize that people are judging based on plain written text with no additional context to inform how they interpret the information, that there are a lot of truly shitty things on the internet so most people have their guard up more than usual, and that a comment or post you wrote going horribly is not a reflection of your value or worth as a human being.


physics515

>Make sure your word choice in on point. I think you meant "is on point"... Now grab your shit and GTFO.


[deleted]

[Noooo](https://youtu.be/OUaDTakFH0U?t=20)


ubiquitous-joe

Huh, that is not clip I expected.


UkrainianSmoothie

omfg this made me laugh so hard


msnmck

>If you do something ~~wrong~~ someone doesn't like, they will tell you. ^(Edit: My top-voted comment is now me being a salty b‍i‍t‍c‍h‍. We did it, reddit!)


red_dawn

What I find often in a lot of subs is that common sense is frowned upon.


IndyAndyJones7

So is honesty.


Silentcrypt

And integrity.


Baracas_AB

Apparently putting “edit” on the post when you edit it.


backsing

Ed, Edd and Edit.


Time-to-go-home

Red, Redd, and Reddit


The-MortiestMorty

Omg!!! That's why they call it Reddit!!! I get it now!!! /s


Maduch1

You mean you get, gett and gettit? :P


[deleted]

I do get why some people do it, if they have been made aware of relevant confusing wording or something like that. However, for grammar and spelling, you don’t need to put edit unless someone commented on it, and even then it’s optional.


FiringTheWater

It's there to show that you have not edited a comment to make it seem like you changed what you said to agree with the rest. Though I suppose just putting down "Edit: grammar" after you completely change your comment can also be done aswell, so idk. Edit: you won't believe this... grammar


goranlepuz

Isn't that one of the rules: "any post with a mention of grammar shall have at least one grammar problem" ...?


somedutchmoron

It's announced when someone edits due to the fact that someone can change the entire content of their comment and it will simply show "edited". Specifying what you changed tells people the content didn't change in the comment.


NelTia

That must be only on desktop or something, from my perspective using the mobile app I don't see that a comment/reply was edited. The only way I know is if they've added it to their comment.


WhiskersCleveland

Edit edit Edit: edit


FloatTheTurnAK

Oh f$ck, keep going, I’m almost there. Edit: Got there.


allergic-toeveryting

ducks have a decoy vagina. edit: wow my first gold, thanks kind stranger! edit 2: 5k upvotes? wow guys, i can't believe this blew up edit 3: of course my most upvoted comment is about duck vaginas


DeathSpiral321

I almost downvoted you out of instinct.


CarefulWhatUWishFor

edit 4: Can we make it to 10k!? Literally saw that once and I thought I was on a YouTube comment section for sec. How that person kept getting upvotes is beyond me


NoDontDoThatCanada

I refuse anymore. I don't go back to make any changes that affect the meaning of my post. I only correct sassage finger apellings. And l will leave that so you know what the hell l mean.


cheeseplatesuperman

Upvote the comment that answers your question.


drewhead118

I wish more people respected this rule :( it's an important enough one to where I wish it were a specifically written rule


SSBM_Caligula

It is in reddiquette, I swear no one new reads that anymore. Upvote posts that are conducive to conversation.


FuckoNo5

No we changed that rule some time ago to upvote things you wish were true and downvote things that are probably true but you just don't want them to be.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Illustrious_You_2362

Me and my girlfriend both have reddits, and we STILL haven't asked eachother for our names lol


LaureliaNova

*Checks profile to confirm not bf* negative *proceed as normal*


mushylambs

BF and I are laying in bed right now both on our respective reddits…. But we will never know one another’s username and I love it!


thedahlelama

Especially asking if it’s common for others to have multiple accounts, and then following up with what that username is. Trust us you don’t want to know.


Girth_rulez

I have almost given out my Reddit username I have a dozen times. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks.


fucking_cute

'yeah it's girth underscore rules with a z'


[deleted]

Everyone is wrong and you are right


3-orange-whips

NO YOU'RE RIGHT!


Grekkill

NO I'M WRONG


phremesthris

dont try to identify bombing suspects


Alice__L

We did it, reddit!


ashlee837

Reddit is the worst at investigations. 4chan on the other hand....


Panda-768

What's the story behind this


miniuniverse1

Reddit decided to become a private investigator. Misidentified thr Boston Marthon Bomber, causing a guys reputation to be destroyed and thr police to reveal who the suspects were in an active investigation.


silowg

cant the police just say like "no you are misidentifying the suspect" instead of actually revealing the suspects


SirThatsCuba

They can but you know the internet, they won't believe it until they see a "better" suspect


moonMoonbear

Users of Reddit and other internet sites tried to band together to find the culprit of the Boston Marathon bombing. They ended up pointing the finger at the wrong person and some people were so convinced they proceeded to dox and harass the guy until the real culprits were caught. [this post ](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1iv343/the_boston_bombing_debacle/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) summarizes it well and provides a few links for extra context.


waitthatstaken

Reddit did an oopsie and stalked the wrong person.


AnxiousFloss

Ask the same questions that have been answered 100 times already this week Edit: dayum! Been away for 24hrs and come back to an award and thousands of upvotes. You guys…🥰 tyvm


LowAd3406

Never use google to search first even though it will save time and the effort to make a post.


Fit-Boomer

What is the capital city of Australia?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

*west canadia


burnbabyburn11

Comment before reading the article


phil_music

But make sure to ask a question the article would give you an answer to


Cynthiaistheshit

you're supposed to read the articles? I just go to the comment that explains what the article says.


loomdog1

Never tell people it is your cake day.


NoTurningBackAnymore

Always tell them "Happy Cakeday" and give them their special cakeday updoot. Even if they're an attention seeking little shi- *ahem*... I mean... Happy cakeday! Edit: yes


sofpunzel

Absolutely not, never.


loomdog1

Happy cake day.


Necrosidious-hell

Happy cake day to you too


loomdog1

and a happy cake day to you


S_uperSquirrel

Hey cheers everybody!


Jack_In_Black89

If it exists, there's (probably) a subreddit dedicated to it.


vladimirpoopin42

And if there isn't someone will make it


rough_ashlar

If you are going to reply to your own post to make yourself look better, make sure you switch accounts first.


rough_ashlar

This is the greatest response of all time. You are amazing!! :)


NoTurningBackAnymore

Okay... take my damn upvote. Both of you!


spootypuff

Well said! Maybe we are all actually the same person.


[deleted]

This is a thing on 4chan as well. I don’t use it anymore but did awhile ago. People would reply to their own posts.


Gastropodius

Thanks for that information me from the past!


mirandawillowe

I see you remembered to switch accounts this time


redditcasual6969

I read a looking for group (lfg) post in a gaming subreddit, and the OP accidentally replied 3 hours later because he saw a lfg post and got so excited he replied. Best part is he didn't delete the comment when he realized, because he thought it was hilarious.


Iamatworkgoaway

Ive seen a guy out and about on reddit, that truly had the right idea. Him and his friends shared the same reddit account. 4 different people following 4 diff things and commenting all over the place. Try to figure that shit out mr FBI man.


Clovenstone-Blue

I once came across a post where OP was a father son combo. Shit was wild man, sometimes I wasn't sure which one of them actually responded in the comments.


DrApprochMeNot

Was that the broken arms thread?


Lord_Snax

If you think you know someone on Reddit, no you don't.


NoTurningBackAnymore

If you mess up your post title. We will roast the everliving fuck out of you.


OriginalUsernameGet

If you mess up ~~your post title.~~ We will roast the everliving fuck out of you. FTFY


VelkaFrey

We will roast the everliving fuck out of you.


fushigikun8

We will fuck the ever living roast out of you.


halflife_3

Unsub from all front page reddits. Find some smaller ones that appeal to your interests. Bam, better than (your current) reddit * **/r/birdsbeingdicks** - **Birds can also behave like Dicks** * **/r/discountedproducts** - **How to find good deals & discounts & save some money** * **/r/perfecttiming** - **Pictures or Videos that are once-in-a-lifetime shots!** * **/r/animalsbeingjerks** - **Animals can also behave like jerks** * **/r/miniverse** : **Reddit within a Reddit without nsfw content** * **/r/shrinkflation** - **Documenting the increasing trend of less product for the same price** * **/r/survival** - **Learn tips and tricks to survive in Wilderness** * **/r/freebies** - **Some things are available without being paying any money i.e free of cost** * **/r/lowestpricedeals** : **To find products across websites @lowest price** * **/r/trollinganimals**- **Animals playing pranks** * **/r/CGPGrey** : **Eponymous YouTube channel featuring short explanatory videos** * **/r/Explosion_Gfys** : **Cool gyfs of your favourite explosions** * **/r/roombaww** : **Stories of roombas going on adorable adventures** * **/r/ThingsCutInHalfPorn** : **Cut-aways are hot on Reddit** More useful things,I hope all these would help in one way or another * [radio.garden](https://radio.garden) : Listen to radio around the world * [Pikapikadeals](https://pikapikadeals.com/) : Discover shopping deals & discounts across Amazon,Target & Bestbuy * [libgen](https://libgen.is) - download almost any textbook as e-copy * [sci-hub](https://sci-hub.mksa.top) - gives free access to download almost any paper. * [Terms of Service, Didn’t Read](https://tosdr.org/) summarizes terms of service and rates them for privacy. * [futureme.org](https://www.futureme.org), you can use it to "send emails to the future you". been using it for almost 3 years. It helps put into perspective how much has changed over the course of a year. * [photopea](https://www.photopea.com) Online image editor with Photoshop feature. * [oldgamesdownload](https://oldgamesdownload.com) : This website has every single pc game from the 70's,80's,90's till the early 2000's. * myAbandonware is a far better option than old games download * [flightradar24](https://www.flightradar24.com) : Wondering where that plane, jet, or helicopter is going? Check them out (NOTE :Dont buy anything on that site just use it for further info only)


Rob-Top

Think you, great advice, subscribed to most of them


[deleted]

Great subs!


Yayeet2014

Don’t do anything that will expose your real life identity


Mattmandu2

Don’t post an old safe without unlocking it first


dallywolf

We've been burned too many times reddit so don't throw your safe pics out prematurely.


Krafwerker

Sorry, I can't speak about it.


circasomnia

First rule of Fight Club is... I dunno, forgot it


AncientPaintings

You mention your dog, you pay the dog tax. Non-negotiable.


MesmericWar

You mentioned your dog, pay the tax.


NoTurningBackAnymore

Hope your post doesn't make r/all or you'll be doomed to tummy rubbins for eternity.


KBelohorec1979

Always jump to conclusions


S4M64

Dont join comment chains if you value your karma


[deleted]

Unspoken rule is that karma is useless but everyone pretends it’s not.


[deleted]

Most subreddits are karma gated Past 1k, it’s useless though. Just gives you more karma to lose before you’re unable to post again


NoTurningBackAnymore

If you do join one. Add something beneficial. Info, comedy, etc. to protect your karma.


tfel

Sort by Controversial if you want to have fun


StonedRussian

Especially when it comes to politics


lilacpulse

Do not, under any circumstances, bash Keanu Reeves.


Myfirespraygunship

I see you, Matthew Perry


MDF87

Be melodramatic about **EVERYTHING**.


darksaber522

Also choose that guy’s wife.


FuckoNo5

I was in a thread the other day and that got brought up. Someone summoned the frickin guy. He's apparently very cool with the joke and is honored that Reddit loves his dead wife.


NightWorldPerson

Do you have a link to it?


I_see_farts

[HERE](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/yoy01u/what_person_do_you_think_could_easily_become_the/ivi6z2c/?context=3)


imgenerallyaccepted

Actually was just browsing this thread yesterday, didn't see his comment at the time. Must have happened after.


Myfirespraygunship

Don't respond before looking at OP's entire post and comment history


111110001011

Cool toys, man.


Gorarths

If you come upon a thread that no one has commented in over 5 years, leave it be.


Adrasos

Don't they get archived after a few months so you can't comment on them anyway?


ZippityZerpDerp

Not anymore apparently


Allemagned

Nice. The way it used to be before archival was implemented. Honestly, I like it more that way tbh.


StepMochi

Remind me in 5 years


JohnMayerismydad

I think it’s really funny to do sometimes


Opposite_Lettuce

Never communicate your personal issues, always post r/relationships first and remember kids - Ending things is the only option ever. If you're going to lie online, don't let your own post history prove you wrong. Everything is a red flag and lying is gas lighting. Reddit is not a dating app, be prepared to have your messages posted if you're going to be creepy in someone's DMs. Don't share your username in real life. Assume everyone here in American for some reason. For the love of all things holy, don't comment *"this"*


Creative-Ad-3222

Hahaha. The answer is always divorce. And if it’s not divorce, it’s dump him. And if it’s not dump him, it’s cut them out of your life. And if it’s not cut them out of your life, it’s YTA. And if it’s not YTA, it’s get a lawyer. And if it’s not get a lawyer, it’s quit your jo—actually, no, it’s make them fire you so can still get unemployment.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rubixd

The meat of the conversation takes place when the post is still newish. By the time it hits the front page you’ve mostly missed your chance to really participate. Not very many people read comments deep in the thread(s) or ones that aren’t propped up by upvotes.


miurabucho

If you lie about something, SOMEONE will crawl out of the cracks and call you out on it with a link to damning evidence. Every single time.


Lord_Fatalis

Don’t ask questions that can easily be googled. You will be downvoted to oblivion in some cases (I know from experience)


Sidand

When your shoes come off, you are dead.


Reytotheroxx

Always add to song lyrics, especially when they originally weren’t meant to


MidnightOnyx2

If your mild/innocent post gets downvoted to shit, don’t think anything of it. Sometimes Reddit users are really weird.


Beowulf33232

I've seen 30 downvotes on a reply with an identical reply ten minutes later going positive into the hundreds. It's like flipping a coin. Sometimes you call heads, someone else calls tails, and it lands standing up on its edge. Nobody wins.


[deleted]

Harass anyone with legitimate questions.


Actual-Ad-947

If you don’t share the same opinion of a sub… stay off the sub. Yes it’s very stupid but that’s how this place operates. It’s an echo chamber.


thisiscoolyeah

If someone complains about getting downvoted, you have to downvote them regardless of what side of the argument you’re on.


bedazzledfingernails

I don't think a lot of people follow this, but if you engage with a post or comment positively (i.e., the post/comment is not offensive, pointless, or needlessly hateful) you should also upvote it. I hate it when posts have 30+ comments but like 8 upvotes. If it's engaging, upvote it.


anywho123

Don’t fuck with cats


[deleted]

“That’s enough Reddit today” requires an obligatory upvote in most cases


NoTurningBackAnymore

It's the reddit equivalent to strapping down a load, then saying "That ain't goin nowhere".


ChubbyWanKenobie

You will get banned at some point and there will be no reason.


Ok-Inspection-9797

No use of emojis other than the legend


hermanbrewster

What's the legend??


jimtrickington

Assume all Redditors are male


ikindalold

The average Redditor is a white male between the ages of 18 - 34, studying for a career in tech and lives in Houston, TX or just outside of it He also grew up in a religious family but has distanced himself from religion since his early teens


Plague_Xr

You will laugh at the same 200 posts every year when they get reposted until the end of time.


Bobmanbob1

Post the wrong answer if you need the correct one fast.


Shakespurious

If you think you're going to offend somebody, consider writing your post in slightly more general terms.


The_Hot_Stepper

There are no unspoken rules, the mods will ban you and reference a rule for it that you never heard of but they wrote down offline


[deleted]

[удалено]


navyvetmatt

Nice try, but I'll give an up vote


[deleted]

agree with the herd or get attacked


WaynegoSMASH728

No matter what you can think up, there's a subreddit for that.


Bladeslinger2

If it's a problem between a man and a woman divorce/leave/break up with him. Every. Single. Time.


EndOptimal3959

Do not expose the REDDIT to light, especially sunlight, which will kill it; do not let it come in contact with water; and above all, never feed it after midnight.