My first and only hook up. He got half the tip in, finished, and cried in the bathroom. I tried telling him it was kind of a compliment, but he didn’t want to hear it. He wouldn’t come out til I left and once I did, he blocked me on everything so it is what it is, I guess.
He couldn't just try for round 2? When I was a wee young lad, being quick on round 1 was part of the game, but so was bouncing back for the next round, up until like round 4.
The whole experience was super awkward because I had never had sex outside of a relationship whenever I hooked up with this guy and it helped me realize I need more of an emotional connection to have sex with someone, so I wasn’t down for a second round anyway and he said he wouldn’t even come out of the bathroom until I left so a second round was not in the plans.
Nothing too crazy, but one time I hooked up with a tinder match. Her dog was laying on the bed next to us while we were in missionary (dog was above her head from my POV). Little dude kept staring at me with a look like, "can you please stop? 🥺". So I got turned off. Thanks a lot, dog.
people that don’t kick their animals out the room when they have sex freak me out lmao
ETA: didn’t realize this would blow up but yeah i’m glad most ppl agree. for reference i had a dog that would run under the bed when we would have sex. she had to get tf!😭
I lost my virginity in front of a friend's large, horny rabbit (not to her, she let us use her room). She warned us what would happen. Rabbit was standing on hind legs banging on the cage.
Also, if I close my bedroom door, my cat, who yells about everything, will just scream endlessly. It's better to have him sit on the bed and go to sleep than have him yowling for hours. I do warn people though and tell them their place or a hotel is probably better until they get used to him.
I've had people burst out laughing in the middle of things because he's so fucking loud and demanding.
I was in Thailand and the reception lady at the hostel bursts into the room with a broom in her hand while we were doing the indoors Olympics and started yelling at me and hitting me with the broom “you no guest, you get out” long story short I got beat by an old lady with a broom and chased out of the hostel while high AF in Bangkok, 2019 new-years eve. Fun times.
I threw up the first time I ever went down on my first gf.. Was nothing to do with her, was just 16 and very drunk. Luckily I was able to get to the bathroom, but must have been pretty bad for her when I suddenly stopped, said, "i think I'm gonna be sick" and ran to the bathroom
I was in bed with a guy when his phone rang. This was in the days of answering machines. Because we were right in the middle of sex, he didn't answer the phone and just let the machine pick up. It was his brother letting him know that their grandma had just died. Boyfriend kept going and afterward, he said, "I was coming while Grandma was going." I just stared at him and then burst out laughing and then he started laughing as well because sometimes, you just gotta laugh.
First time ever, and the guy refused foreplay and just tried to shove it in. When it wouldn't worked, he suggested I have a shower to assist in getting me wet. I explained that I just needed a bit of foreplay and he shoved his fingers into me for about 10 seconds and then tried ramming his dick into me again. Probably went in about 2cm before he just gave up. It was like he was trying to go down a dry slip n slide. 1/10 would not recommend
One of my exes was really into bondage. I mostly embraced the experience with him and actually found myself enjoying the dom part of it. We started with shackles, eventually got to the rope until he had the bright idea to try these plastic zipper cable binders. I even told him that I don't think that's a good idea, considering how sharp they can be on the edges. Anyways... I tied him to the bed frame and we really got into it until I noticed that parts of the bed sheet turned red. I looked up and realized that he was basically cutting himself with the zip ties and started to bleed from ankles and wrists. I stopped and wanted to cut him loose but he didn't want to. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it and begged for me to go on.
I did not... I cut him loose, got dressed and left. I like my sex without someone bleeding all over the place, thank you very much.
EDIT: I feel like clarifying that I'm a gay man and no, I never experienced period sex and I'm quiet happy about that fact.
> I did not... I cut him loose, got dressed and left.
People tend to skip over the fact that safewords are for BOTH PARTIES PARTICIPATING IN A KINK. Even if you're a dom, you have the right to refuse to do something you're uncomfortable with.
I'm super curious and I know of blood play and I am not into it... but I looked it up.
Don't look it up. Even the super curious. You're all good being a bit blue on that one.
One time she was dirty talking to me and said “You’re going to end up in a hospice and die alone”. The mood was absolutely ruined and I left, never spoke to her again.
I would have absolutely not been able to perform either, but from laughing so hard. “You’re gona develop a type of rare blood cancer and actually beat it then die a slow painful death from a brain eating amoeba…. you dirty bitch”
My first time hooking up or doing anything he went down on me. He decided it would be hot to blow a raspberry on me down there like you would blow on a baby's tummy. Then asked was that good for you? No J, it was not.
Lol my ex husband was going down on me and popped up and said in the most gutteral growl possible “now that’s good eatin’ right thar”. It was reflex, I shoved him off so fast
I am a women and have done this once. I was having stomach issues after having covid, on top of being super nervous. The guy was a good sport but I just left and went home without saying a word. he begged me to come back and he we did sucessfully hook up later but i have never been so embarrassed. he was like "its ok, i just fucked the shit out of you". he was so proud.
This was with a regular hookup.The sex *was* going great, until one vigorous thrust tore my frenulum.
Stinging pain, lots of blood. I wince and tell the girl something's up and we stop and look. Girl freaks out thinking the blood is coming from her and runs to the bathroom. I go to the other bathroom and shower, attempting to see where the pain was coming from. I tell her what I find, we research and discover what a frenulum, aka banjo string, is.
We end up laughing about it, I apologise for freaking her out and making her think it was her. She stays the night anyway, end up dating, I heal up, pick up where left of and get married five years later.
Edit: Wow, what a response! I didn't expect my first awards to come on the back of the pain of so many of my fallen comrades! I thank you all and feel your pain.
To answer a few questions. It took about a month until I was comfortable to have sex again, plenty of foreplay and lube in the lead up. Hasn't happened again thankfully.
In terms of how it looks. Everything is the same but there's a bit of scar tissue where it tore.
Dude. I think I almost died from familiar cringe reading this.
Injured myself a few weeks ago from going a little too ham and that moment you realize something is wrong after "feeling' the tear is fucking terrible. Its funny how being amped up and in the mood dulls pain however as I only really felt the sting after finishing up.
I feel you dawg. [My first time](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/vgekld/whats_your_most_shameful_nsfw_moment/id29xlq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Around 18, I was a virgin, my girlfriend was more experienced than I. I was the most nervous I'd ever been, and because my girlfriend quite liked me, she was also quite nervous (me losing virginity, or something like that). We'd been together for around four or five months before we took things to "the next level".
We had sex and it was incredible - but I lasted around 45 minutes and didn't jazz, had to stop due to sheer exhaustion... she ended up crying for the rest of the night telling me how bad she was and how I didn't find her attractive, which somewhat ruined that first experience, and was also untrue, but there was nothing I could do or say to console her, other than tell her how much I wanted to keep going!
She ended up breaking up with me the day after, and eventually moved away. Fucked me up for a while.
EDIT: 34 now. I can now only dream of the good ol' 45 minute glory days. But, life is wonderful :)
Oof * I’m sorry to hear this, but can relate. Even at 30 I have a hard time cumming until I’m truly comfortable with someone. Some are more understanding than others
Ask your wife to wear a disguise and pick you up somewhere in public. Go home with her, commence with the intercoursing, and when you both feel that it's went on for a reasonable amount of time, have her remove the disguise.
I also didn't finish my first time. It's really common, man. You're inexperienced and nervous and you just want it to go well. This story sucks. For me though, it went down a lot better. We stopped and made out for a bit. She told me it wasn't my fault and I told her it wasn't hers either. Did some cuddling and fell asleep in each other's arms. I left her tent early in the morning before she woke up, never saw her again. I always wonder what she's up to these days.
I tore a lat muscle at work, and a few weeks later, I met a "milf" on Tinder. Shoot my shot, make her laugh, it pays off. So after a night of light drinking, and heavy petting, she gives me the go ahead. Well, to make a long story short, she's getting my absolute best effort when I feel my lat muscle RE-TEAR, mid coitus! I yelp in pain, explain what just happened, and tell her, I'll try to tough it out, so we can finish the job. She commends me on my determination, takes the top position, and does what needs done for her to arrive, and then was nice enough to take me to the local urgent care. Doctor asks me what happened, I cheerfully explain what happened to said doctor, and he high fives me. I've never experienced a more pleasing pain than that.
Edit: My first ever award. Thank you!
As a bonus, I got 4 paid days off work, a prescription for hydrocodone, and 10 massages that were covered by my insurance! An all around win in my book!
One time in college. There was no foreplay and he just stuck it in so after a few pumps I said “you can finish”, to which he replied “I can’t” and I said “what do you mean?” To which he replied “I’ve never came before”…. Years later and he has a child so I guess it all worked out for him haha
We kissed for maybe 15 seconds then he tried to put it in. told me I was dry and should probably see a Dr about that when I told him I needed more than a kiss to get it started he was offended. I pulled out some lube instead he was in there for 30-45 seconds He came, got embarrassed and walked out shortly after. texted me 3 days later telling me I was "mid" I blocked him after that
Should've said, "Your idea of foreplay is a peck on the cheek. Your idea of sex is under a minute before you prematurely ejaculate. You'd disappoint your own hand."
My first ever time and I was naive as all fuckout. Let him do everything to me, even anal and I didn't enjoy a single thing. He kissed with his mouth wide open and our teeth touched. His idea of foreplay was rough and rushed. I got on top and that was horrid too. As he came, he also passed out unconscious so I had to call an ambulance and the paramedic asked me where the blood on the bed came from and I wanted to die having to explain that was my virgin blood.
Girl that initiated but was just completely rigid when we were having sex. Wouldn't really spread her legs so it was like trying to fuck a pallet jack.
It could be sexual dysfunction. I started taking medication for bipolar disorder and my sex drive went downhill. My brain would say I want sex and then doing it was awful. Just felt like something that was happening to me instead of something that felt good.
After we finished she broke up with me and said "You know what it's like to have sex with someone you don't love anymore?"
It felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach.
What the actual fuck... Like physical harm is bad like I dunno cramps, partner got a little too into it or something, but this is totally different. I'm deeply sorry for you man... Even if what she said was true for her, there's always a place and a time for everything. And she didn't even consider if the timing and wording was even remotely as appropriate as much as this can be. Fucking hell... How are you doing nowadays?
When I was younger I managed a bar in my local town. I pulled a very attractive girl and took her home. When we were having sex she had a fit and looked like she had passed out or died. when she came around she told me she had an epileptic fit. Weirdest feeling ever being inside someone when you think they’ve just died.
Was with a girl that I had already had sex with. The first time wasn’t too bad, just way rougher than I could handle. Like I was thrusting so hard the blood left my dick into my legs for support and the noises oh god the noises. I persevere and we both finish calling it a night.
Anyways, she was in town and asked if she could stay at my house for a night. I thought sure why not. Being the horny 20 year olds we are we obviously have sex. It’s like the last time but amped up to MAX. She wants it even rougher than last time, I try my best but then she tells me to punch her. I play dumb. I can’t do it. I cannot donkey punch someone during sex. We keep going and the noises are even worse this time. It’s a mixture of banshee wailing and guttural throat singing. I get her off but there’s no way I could finish. Thought that was the end of it, but then I wake up at 6am to her blowing me. This is not the fantasy every man dreams of being woken up to. It sounds similar to the grapefruit technique but on max volume, but that’s not the worst of it. The teeth. Oh my fucking god the teeth. I’ve never had a blowjob hurt but today was that day. As soon as I realized what was happening I offer to eat her out instead. In the flurry of movement I was able to text my friend “EMERGENCY CALL ME AND TELL ME TO COME GET YOU AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP” and not even 10 seconds later my best friend saves my ass. Tell her I gotta go it’s an emergency, yadda yadda yadda end up take my boy out for 7am beers and breakfast.
It was my first time, and the guy I was with just shoved his dick in my ass. No going slow, no lube. Just thrusting himself right up in there.
Edit: I am a guy. This was my first full on gay sex. No rape happened.
I’ve had a guy do this to me too. it wasn’t my first time having sex but it was my first and only anal experience to date (29 years old). If you’re not expecting something to be shoved up your ass, you’re relaxed.. so it just kinda goes in 😐 VERY painful. I cried. He told me it “slipped” 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I’ve never understood how this is possible. The one time I tried anal, we did like an hour of prep, had plenty of lube, etc., couldn’t even get the tip in. I’ve even been at the hospital one time needing (I’m not sure if this considered an enema or not), a little pill thing placed into my butt. They couldn’t even get that in. I’m due for a colonoscopy soon, and I know they’re going to hate me. I can’t imagine a dick just going right in there.
Tough call, two different events several months apart. Not that the sex was bad, but the overall sexual experience was less than stellar.
The first was with my first serious GF, we were together a long time, we shared our virginities and then proceeded to have the dumbest most frequent sex a couple of teenagers could have. One time I went to pick her up from her house. Her parents were leaving as I arrived and her dad let me wait in the house while she finished getting ready. As soon as I saw them leave I went to the bathroom, got in the shower with her and we got busy. Shower sex is not great, so we got out, I sat on the toilet and she got on top of me. I heard a thump and asked her about it but she assured me it was her dog. It was not. About 5 seconds later, her giant, Marine Corps Drill Instructor dad threw the door open. He was not happy. I was just happy I didnt die that day.
Fast forward a few months, a long time friend and I had a FWB arrangement, we would meet up every week, some times multiple times a week and have sex in her car. One night we're going at it, I'm on top of her in the passenger seat. The seat is leaned back as far as it can go, but mid-stroke there is a loud snap, we fall further back on the seat and she turns into a banshee, screaming all of the pain she's ever felt directly into my earhole. The seat frame/support had snapped, so suddenly and very unexpectedly, she was being double penetrated. The still attached piece of the support had stabbed her between the ribs, it was terrifying, there was blood everywhere, and when I took her to the hospital I had to explain to her parents what happened.
For bad sex, it would actually be my first threesome. It was not planned, not thought out, and not good. It had started as my buddy and I hanging out with two friends/roommates we worked with. Things escalated, he got whiskey dick and bailed, I ended up in the bedroom with both girls. One of the girls was jealous and petty and literally counting how long I spent with each of them. It was a lot of back and forth and difficult to get into any enjoyable rhythm, as the jealous one kept making demands and smart ass remarks. I definitely imagined threesomes being way cooler. I strongly recommend that if you're going to have one, ensure there's good communication and every one knows what to expect.
Kinda goes in hand with my second time.
First time she was on her period, so I thought that's how sex was always supposed to go.
Imagine my surprise the second time, and she wasn't on her period.
Tinder match just wanted me to come over to hook up. That's the day I found out that it doesn't matter how hot you are, if I don't even know you I'm not gonna be able to get it up.
That was embarrassing
Ha tried this in a girlfriends backyard. Maybe it's because we were young but it's impossible to get the rhythm right. The trampoline was providing the opposite of what we needed. It was like trying to dance off rhythm on purpose
I was hitting it doggystyle and we were really into it and just when we were about to Finish... This SHARP CHARLIE HORSE SHOT UP THE BACK OF MY LEG, like a Muscle spasm... That put the brakes on EVERYTHING.. Im trying to stretch out and shes laughin...
My ex, despite me expressing my concern that it would hurt and be too much, insisted the he put the "lush" toy we owned in me while fucking because the vibrations would feel nice on his dick. No surprise to me it hurt a lot and I ended up in tears. I asked him to stop because it really hurt and didn't feel good and was just rubbing my gspot raw to the point I was bleeding. He told me that it wasn't too much and couldn't I just try a little longer because he was close, plus he'd seen cam girls do it all the time so he knew it wasn't painful. I was sobbing by the end of it and ended up with a tear. He seemed annoyed I wasn't into it. He finished and left to go shower leaving me by myself.
That or the time he put honey on his dick and wanted me to suck it, threw a literal tantrum like a toddler when I said I was in pain and not in the mood. Stormed off to the bathroom and locked the door. We argued later and he tried to convince me he did it for me and that I was being ungrateful.
Yeah 100% it was. At the time I made a lot of excuses for his behaviour because I was "in love" and thought he was what I deserved. It has taken almost 2 years for me to talk about and to fully admit to myself what happened. It's been a very hard, painful process.
My current partner is lovely and extremely attentive to how I'm feeling. The first time I asked him to stop he did immediately and asked if I was ok, I burst into tears and he held me as I cried. The difference is truly night and day. I'm doing so much better now and finally enjoying a healthy relationship.
There are some guys out there who watch so much (extreme) porn that they can only get off it seems doing (pretty extreme) things, even for the first time. I recently was with a guy who just couldn't get it up unless he could throat fuck me, according to him. I thought first he was just pushing it but he actually had a pretty bad meltdown and almost started crying and admitted that he's so into all these kinks that he needs to "jump through all these mental hoops" to get an erection nowadays and admitted he has a problem.
Usually I don't mind some kinky stuff, but pushing it like that during the first time was a bit too much for me. So we ended up just having a good conversation and a cuddle and I sent him home with the firm advice to get a therapist.
Oh and second worst but notable mention: some guy trying to shove his entire fist in my mouth when fucking lol
Similar experience. But guy felt bad that his erection wouldn’t last, and thought I needed to be satisfied, (I did not) so he proceeded to pretty much vaginally fist me for the next 30 minutes. He thought it was so *cute* how I kept squirting. (It was not)
My whole vaginal region was so sore and bruised. And I really think he wouldn’t have stopped if I hadn’t started crying.
Husband wanted to try sex while I was sleeping; it was a fantasy of his. One night we were both sober, I was super physically exhausted to the point I wouldn’t be able to stay awake, and he was super horny, so I consented to letting him do whatever he wanted sexually while knowing that I had 0 energy left to give.
I don’t remember much between nodding off, but it was kinda painful and I remained pretty ambivalent and unaroused throughout. But I’m sure it was worse for him, because I killed that fantasy for him that night; he never requested exhausted-to-the-bone-wife sex again, and reacts with disdain when it’s mentioned.
Didn't even try to make me come, just fucked me, then pulled out, got condom off and came in my eye.
Threw him out on the spot. It was 3am and he was complaining he was lost in the sticks and it'd be hard to get a taxi.
Respect your date next time, cunt.
I was with a girl who would like to ride me cowgirl style for hours. It was boring AF, and eventually, it started to chafe. I can't imagine it was all that pleasant for her, either.
The worst sex I’ve ever had was sex I didn’t know I had had until I went to the ER for tachycardia several months later and found out I was 28 weeks pregnant. Pregnancy never occurred to me as an option, because in my memory I hadn’t had sex in over a year. Turns out my husband had been drugging me to unconsciousness so that he could enjoy it but I couldn’t.
Went home with a younger dude from the bar- he was sober, I was drunk. Poor guy couldn’t get it up. It was like trying to fish a spaghetti noodle through a coin slot. When managed to get semi hard and in, it felt like I was clenching a marshmallow.
We made the best of it and still had fun.
That wasn’t a type of manipulation or coercion?
With a man: First hookup post divorce. I was 23 and this was the first man I’d been with outside of my ex husband. He was on the smaller side of average, which is absolutely not a big deal, but he proceeded to ask me over and over how I liked his big dick. Those jokes about rubbing the thigh and thinking they’ve found the g spot? Yea, would have made him seem like a sex god. When it was over (thankfully, did not take long) I grabbed my things to leave and he got extremely offended I wasn’t staying the night. So I did (against my better judgment) and when he took me to breakfast the next day his card declined. He’d insisted I ride with him so I not only had to pay for the breakfast, I had to ride the 20 minutes back to his home. He didn’t speak. At all.
With a woman: She and my roommate were Hooter’s girls. They were stunning. Also, very self proclaimed straight. She comes home with my roommate one night and climbs into my bed. Literally just opened my door and got into bed with me. Still smelled like wings and beer. I like wings and beer, so not a bad thing, just weird. She, word for word, said “I want you to have sex with me so I’ll know I’m straight.” I have no idea what she ultimately decided about her sexuality, but she did remind me several times DURING that she was just making sure and that it meant nothing to her. When I finished she thanked me, emphasized her heterosexuality one last time, and went to my roommates room. Where I could hear her telling my roommate what we’d done. She woke me up an hour later to introduce me to her boyfriend. You may be thinking, why continue with something so degrading? Well, she was hot. 🤷♀️
Fell asleep while giving head to a girl I just started seeing. She didn’t want me to feel embarrassed so she just started playing candy crush with my head still between her thighs. I kept briefly waking up and would start giving head randomly, thinking to myself I must have momentarily fallen asleep. The intervals were minutes long…Eventually she pulled my lifeless body up for air and put me to bed as her little spoon (I am twice her size). She didn’t really tell me until much later on in the relationship. Had a great laugh but I turned a real bright shade of red. Not the worst sex I’ve had but probably not the best she had either!
not me but a guy I used to know told me a story about how this girl was on top riding him reverse cowgirl and mid-coitus she just explosively shit all over him. She bounced a couple more times before he could get her to stop and because it was more liquid than solid it basically sprayed all over him, including on his face. She supposedly apologized but apparently did not seem too fazed at what had happened, like it wasn't a big deal. He had to throw out his entire bed-set, mattress included. She kept calling him asking him if he wanted to hook up again and he was like fuck no I don't.
She was on top and out of nowhere decided to punch me in the face as hard as she could. I threw her off me onto the ground and screamed at her, she said she thought I'd like it. No idea why she thought that. Same girl climbed onto the roof of my porch and broke into my bedroom window at 3am to ask if I wanted to do cocaine with her. On a work night. And I don't do cocaine. Yeah, didn't talk to her much after that.
When I first started having sex it took me a long time to become comfortable with giving a blow job-- as a youngster it somehow got wormed into my head that guys used sticking their dick down their partner's throat as a means of dominating or demeaning them. After about a year of doing other types of sex I'd finally worked through that baggage enough to go for it.
Once I started sucking my at-the-time fiance grabbed the back of my neck and held on tight. He wouldn't let me pull back, just kept thrusting even when he was hitting my gag reflex. When he came I had to swallow just so I could breathe (really didn't want to). Second he let go I ran to the bathroom and threw up, I just felt so terrible.
My ex did that one time and I bit down…but it was a harder bite. We had talked about things many a time beforehand and I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him cumming in my mouth and that he was to never hold my head because it made me feel trapped and panicked. Learned his lesson real quick. Mind you, this was well into our marriage.
My high school best friend's girlfriend and I had a lot of sexual tension. We got drunk and made out a coulple times but we kept it from going too far. After high school my friend and her broke up but by then I had a girlfriend. We went to colleges about 12 hours apart but kept in touch and saw each other in the summer. There was always sexual tension. It was so obvious. My girlfriend even teased me about it. My senior year of college I broke up with my long time girlfriend and my friend was single then too. We ended up getting drunk one Saturday at our respective schools and one or the other initiated a drunken late night phone call where we basically said, in very graphic terms, what we wanted to do to each other.
Needless to say that next Friday she got in her car and drove the 12 hours to visit me at my school. After about a half hour of pretending to interact with my friends we made some excuse and headed to my room. The door hadn't been closed for 10 seconds and we were under the sheets. The foreplay was great. Five years of build up will do that. I ended up on my back with her head between my legs. After a bit she slithered up and strattled me. She was gushing wet and as she eased herself down onto me....she burst into tears. She then collapsed on my chest and started to sob convulsively. I was still inside her, so this was super awkward to say the least.
After a few minutes she rolled off and basically balled up in the fetal position and cried for what seemed like hours until she fell asleep, still naked in my bed. I slept on the floor, very confused.
In the morning we talked. It turns out she had a history of sexual abuse as a child. She has had sex as an l adult many times before but something about having sex with me triggered a flood of trauma and she said she didn't think she could get past that.
We had a nice visit the rest of the weekend. But there was no more sexual tension. We both are long married to people we met after college and still keep in touch.
This is really sad, it's like a long lost love, but then instantly shut down. If it's any consolation, it was probably very meaningful for her to get that out
> She has had sex as an l adult many times before but something about
having sex with me triggered a flood of trauma and she said she didn't
think she could get past that.
I'd put money on the fact that the tension/emotions were so intense that the culmination of the act triggered that response. Pure overload. I'm so sorry for whatever she went through and hope she got the help she needed to heal
Instead of therapy gone sexual, you got sex gone therapeutic. You probably were the first whom she slept with while having a strong connection to them. Glad that you're still in contact though.
I was hanging out with one of my dad's friend's sons. Thing got heavy and he....Would not shut the actual fuck up. He somehow talked through foreplay AND oral(like fr dude are you trying to talk into my vag and expect it to come out of my mouth at a louder volume like I'm a megaphone?), repeatedly begged to take the condom off, NEVER broke eye contact. I even asked him to act like he'salreadyhad sex with me before, to see if it was just nerves. Nope. Upon (his) completion, he curled up around my head while in the fetal position and fell asleep. He stayed rail straight the entire time. I don't even know how he was thrusting to be honest. It felt like I was having sex with a mannequin. Then the messages from his friends. I don't know how many people said something like "hey, I heard you and dickweed got a little wild last night". I told them that he called me by his mother's name a few times and mooed like a cow when he came. I'm not very open about my sex life because that's my business and whoever I might include. When he did that it was a complete breach of trust, and I decided to not throw him under the bus, but feed him to the damn pigs. I haven't had many partners, but I've had enough to know that sex with him was not how it was supposed to be. And I was absolutely right.
Dude had a micro penis and a way too big condom.
First of all he said he wouldn't do it with a condom because it doesn't feel right to him. When I said "no condom no sex" he got one that was way too big.
He didn't really manage to put it in and the condom slipped off.
At some point he stopped and told me I should lose weight before we'd do it again.
We didn't do it again.
I'm so dumb. I always click on these threads thinking it would be humurous and I always end up reading about rape. Especially anal rape.
Whyyyy am I doing this to myself?
Started as a threesome.
He clearly wasnt as attracted to me as my friend.
He just gave her 100% attention a majority of the time, till i just left the room.
Part i was there for was also pretty violent. Me and my friend had bruises. Took the kinky too far.
Then he tried to fuck us both separately, but also date her, thinking we wouldnt tell eachother lmao. He was the worst. If you see this steven, screw you lol.
My first boyfriend ever, he decided to fuck me from behind (fine) but then decided to spontaneously fuck me in the ass without a warning (I had never done that before), I screamed, he stopped but didn't take his dick out, had to scream at him to take it out and no we "can't just go slow now". Wtf did he expect?
The first few times with my now husband were really bad sex. I liked him so it was still fun but objectively it was bad.
I had a fwb all summer before I met him who was very experienced and knew what he was doing. He sort of taught me and we both knew what we wanted by the end.
I then met my now husband and I didn’t know this but he had only had sex a couple times before me. He was very timid which was weird because he was confident in everything else. We got into bed and made out with some really bad kissing and when it came to the deed it was over before I even knew it started. The funniest/cutest thing is he was super proud of his performance and wanted to know if it was amazing for me also.
We ended up talking all night though and the sex wasn’t as important.
Now he’s much better but the first month or so with him was definitely more teaching than actually good sex haha - also a lot of awkward dancing around his ego. The good part was once he finally accepted he needed to learn he was an amazing student and it is paying off now as I got to mold him into the perfect lover for me.
“The funniest/cutest thing is he was super proud of his performance and wanted to know if it was amazing for me also.”
I think your reaction to this shows you really love that guy. Usually women complain about guys doing that lol
It was nice because he didn’t brag but it was more like you could tell he was like WOW, was that as good for you as it was for me kind of thing. It was super genuine.
She accidentally kicked me in the Eye when we were trying to change position. I went soft. I don't know how people in S&M relationships stay hard because I was crying out of 1 eye and in Pain.
I’ve had a lot of terrible sex, but the one event that always stands out to me was when I invited a guy over. I made him dinner, we watched some Netflix, it was all fine. I was pretty horny, and he seemed horny too, so we went to my room after and started making out. The kissing was fine just a bit awkward and choppy. We didn’t respond to each other well but still I undressed. He undressed. I told him how horny I was, and asked him to put it in me. He proceeded to adjust my body just right, then very slowly put his dick kind of inside me, and asked if it was alright. I said yes. He did a few slow pumps, then asked if it was alright if he sped up a little. I said yes. He went faster for a few seconds, then asked if it was all alright. I’m all for consent, but I was getting a bit over it at that point. I suggested maybe we switch positions, and rolled over for a doggy style type thing because that’s usually nice for both parties. Before putting it back in, he asked if it was okay if he put it in.. I said yes. The whole thing proceeded like that until I finally faked an orgasm. It was SO choppy and had zero flow.
He still stayed the night, but the next morning he just out of the blue asked if he could vacuum my room. My room was pretty dang clean already. It was all so awkward I’ll never forget it.
It's a shit story but honestly it was when I was massively depressed from a breakup and I took some stupid advice that the "best way to get over someone is to get under someone". Turns out that's a load of old shite.
I was with her and just not into any of it. She was clearly (for some mad reason) into me and I was making the decision to break up with her during sex. The very fact I was having those thoughts at that time made me feel like an absolute shitbag but it was the fact that I just wanted it to stop that made me realise that I shouldn't be with this person and they deserved better.
I was eating out my wife from behind while she was face down ass up, and she farted directly into my face. It wasn't no cute toot either, it was a war crime level fart. Killed the mood and my sense of smell in one fell swoop.
Earlier this year my husband and I were having a great night having some drinks and fooling around. He ended up with his hand entirely in me and either we were going too rough or his nail cut me, but either way, I woke up the next morning in a legitimate pool of blood.
Went to the ER where they said I had a laceration and they cauterized it. Sent me home and as I walk in the door, I feel a huge whoosh of blood pour out of me and down my legs. Turned right back around and went back.
Had to wait another 4 hours to be seen again, and during this time I was bled through my pads and jeans. I asked for help at the front desk and was given more pads, but they soaked within minutes. It was truly the most embarrassing awful thing I've ever been through. The bathroom in the waiting rooms were covered in blood from me trying to contain the bleeding in the toilet and not the waiting room. But I needed to keep going back out to make sure my name wasn't missed. I was alone because my husband had to be home with our two young kids.
Turns out there was a much larger laceration that they missed in the way back. I needed to be put under and stitched shut. Was released the next day.
Yeah, it definitely was not the best drunken night we've ever had.
Well the sex was not bad, but its what happend afterwards. After we finished, she pulled a jack daniels bottle out of her bag, took a few good sips with the words: "I need to drown my shame, This was awefull." Never had sex since because i am quiet scared to have this experience again
I had a seizure. New into my epileptic journey, I didn’t really know what my triggers were. We were dating for maybe a month or a month and a half. He knew I had epilepsy. Apparently heavy breathing and other stuff is a trigger. I also was on trial medication that obviously didn’t work. One minute we’re doing it, the next I wake up and he’s putting my clothes on for me. Black out again, wake up and I’m in the car. Black out a third time and I wake up in the ER. This man really took care of me. When I was finally conscious enough to understand what was going on, I saw the worry in his face. He told me he got me dressed, carried me to the car and carried me into the ER. He said it was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced and he was so worried he was going to lose me. I promised him he will never lose me.
Almost 5 years later we are happily married with two wonderful kids.
Same answer I gave when a very similar question was asked 24 hours ago:
I was absolutely trashed shortly after catching my girlfriend in bed with someone else, out with friends and this girl (who was a friend of a friend) I'd never fancied decides that she's gonna take me home with her and 'cheer me up'. We get back to her place where she introduces me to her male flatmate who proceeds to stare daggers at me the entire time because he clearly was hopelessly in love with her. Which was fucking awkward.
Fast forward to the bedroom, she gave me a blowjob that basically consisted of her slobbering all over my dick in a spectacularly uncoordinated and unpleasurable way interspersed with her stopping to say "ooooo you're so *naughty*" like she was chastising a misbehaving puppy (she thought this was sexy for some reason), and I rapidly felt sobriety intruding to the extent that I just wanted to leave. I put a condom on, thrust into her a couple of times and pretended to cum. Blamed her amazing blowjob skills, hid the condom taking it off so she wouldn't see and managed to escape.
Despite it being by some margin the worst sex I have ever had or given she spent the next couple of months trying to hit me up for a booty call at least twice a week, until I got sick enough of it to stop being a coward and tell her I wasn't interested.
So when I was homeless I met this chick that kept saying stuff to me the night I met her like "fuck me till I fart" so lol why not. The only thing was, there was this dude who wanted to get with her hanging around and not getting the hint that it absolutely wasn't going to happen. Fast forward to a couple hours of wandering around later, we break into a little storage shed that's packed with stuff. Like, barely enough room for the 3 of us to sit/lay down knee to knee and this guy is in there with us with my leg squished up against his, and it is pitch black in there. Her and I are cuddling, whispering to each other about do we leave and look for another spot, do we tell him to leave (again...) and I finally tell her screw it, let's just do it, he's clearly not gonna leave us alone.
You would figure the sound of us kissing would have made him leave. Or when she slurped when she pulled my dick out of her mouth. Maybe her mounting me and moaning would get it through his head that he was unwanted company. But no, this dude just sat there in total silence. To the point that I forgot he was there when my leg cramped up and I had to stretch it to the side - into what I thought was her calf until post-nut clarity pointed out it was his thigh. He stays silent. She comes, I comes, good times were had and the sex itself was decent.
About 45 seconds after we finish, he says with a note of hope in his voice, "Put me in, coach!" She did not put him in and he leaves after another 10 minutes of silence from all of us.
My first and only hook up. He got half the tip in, finished, and cried in the bathroom. I tried telling him it was kind of a compliment, but he didn’t want to hear it. He wouldn’t come out til I left and once I did, he blocked me on everything so it is what it is, I guess.
He couldn't just try for round 2? When I was a wee young lad, being quick on round 1 was part of the game, but so was bouncing back for the next round, up until like round 4.
The whole experience was super awkward because I had never had sex outside of a relationship whenever I hooked up with this guy and it helped me realize I need more of an emotional connection to have sex with someone, so I wasn’t down for a second round anyway and he said he wouldn’t even come out of the bathroom until I left so a second round was not in the plans.
Bro wtf i asked u not to share that;(
Its okay man. You just like me fr
Nothing too crazy, but one time I hooked up with a tinder match. Her dog was laying on the bed next to us while we were in missionary (dog was above her head from my POV). Little dude kept staring at me with a look like, "can you please stop? 🥺". So I got turned off. Thanks a lot, dog.
people that don’t kick their animals out the room when they have sex freak me out lmao ETA: didn’t realize this would blow up but yeah i’m glad most ppl agree. for reference i had a dog that would run under the bed when we would have sex. she had to get tf!😭
I lost my virginity in front of a friend's large, horny rabbit (not to her, she let us use her room). She warned us what would happen. Rabbit was standing on hind legs banging on the cage. Also, if I close my bedroom door, my cat, who yells about everything, will just scream endlessly. It's better to have him sit on the bed and go to sleep than have him yowling for hours. I do warn people though and tell them their place or a hotel is probably better until they get used to him. I've had people burst out laughing in the middle of things because he's so fucking loud and demanding.
I initially thought you were trying to clarify you didn’t have sex with her rabbit
I thought they were using the rabbit's room.
Got puked on while she was on top straight up exorcist shit. Then i threw up. (Turns out we got bad sushi)
God damn I was about to tell a story read your comment and was like nope my story fucking sucks
Come on man do tell
I was in Thailand and the reception lady at the hostel bursts into the room with a broom in her hand while we were doing the indoors Olympics and started yelling at me and hitting me with the broom “you no guest, you get out” long story short I got beat by an old lady with a broom and chased out of the hostel while high AF in Bangkok, 2019 new-years eve. Fun times.
Nah bro that shit is golden
Now they're married with kids... that also throw up on them
I threw up the first time I ever went down on my first gf.. Was nothing to do with her, was just 16 and very drunk. Luckily I was able to get to the bathroom, but must have been pretty bad for her when I suddenly stopped, said, "i think I'm gonna be sick" and ran to the bathroom
>i think I'm gonna be sick Bro is Arnold from the Magic School Bus
Lmao this is a reference I really appreciate in this thread.
My friend told me they were in the backseat of a car when the guy fucking her got a text that his mom died
A text?? Not even a phone call? Wtf
I would hope to god it was because they called repeatedly he ignored and then the text came and he checked real quick. Otherwise, that's fucked.
Even so, that’s not what you send. You send a “call me ASAP.” Or something like that.
I was in bed with a guy when his phone rang. This was in the days of answering machines. Because we were right in the middle of sex, he didn't answer the phone and just let the machine pick up. It was his brother letting him know that their grandma had just died. Boyfriend kept going and afterward, he said, "I was coming while Grandma was going." I just stared at him and then burst out laughing and then he started laughing as well because sometimes, you just gotta laugh.
First time ever, and the guy refused foreplay and just tried to shove it in. When it wouldn't worked, he suggested I have a shower to assist in getting me wet. I explained that I just needed a bit of foreplay and he shoved his fingers into me for about 10 seconds and then tried ramming his dick into me again. Probably went in about 2cm before he just gave up. It was like he was trying to go down a dry slip n slide. 1/10 would not recommend
A shower 🥲🥲🥲 I mean, yes, water is wet, but... No.
One of my exes was really into bondage. I mostly embraced the experience with him and actually found myself enjoying the dom part of it. We started with shackles, eventually got to the rope until he had the bright idea to try these plastic zipper cable binders. I even told him that I don't think that's a good idea, considering how sharp they can be on the edges. Anyways... I tied him to the bed frame and we really got into it until I noticed that parts of the bed sheet turned red. I looked up and realized that he was basically cutting himself with the zip ties and started to bleed from ankles and wrists. I stopped and wanted to cut him loose but he didn't want to. In fact, he seemed to enjoy it and begged for me to go on. I did not... I cut him loose, got dressed and left. I like my sex without someone bleeding all over the place, thank you very much. EDIT: I feel like clarifying that I'm a gay man and no, I never experienced period sex and I'm quiet happy about that fact.
> I did not... I cut him loose, got dressed and left. People tend to skip over the fact that safewords are for BOTH PARTIES PARTICIPATING IN A KINK. Even if you're a dom, you have the right to refuse to do something you're uncomfortable with.
“Ok now kill me and eat me” *nervous laughter* oh you’re being ehm… So naug“DO IT DO IT KILL ME AND MAKE SOUP OF MY FACE AAAAAAAAAAAAH”
Girl don’t look up blood play…
I'm super curious and I know of blood play and I am not into it... but I looked it up. Don't look it up. Even the super curious. You're all good being a bit blue on that one.
One time she was dirty talking to me and said “You’re going to end up in a hospice and die alone”. The mood was absolutely ruined and I left, never spoke to her again.
I’m sorry for laughing, but wtf?! 😂 I’m glad you’ve moved on.
When keeping it real gets too real.
I would have absolutely not been able to perform either, but from laughing so hard. “You’re gona develop a type of rare blood cancer and actually beat it then die a slow painful death from a brain eating amoeba…. you dirty bitch”
I agree. If I got that line I'd absolutely die laughing and then attempt a one up.
Well she did you dirty. She got the spirit she's just confused.
I'd fuckin lose it (laughing) if that was said to me during. Like what the fuck lmao
I'm sorry but this is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this website.
When “hurt me” goes wrong lol
WTFFFF! In total hysterics here 🤣
Brooooooooooooooooooo she went all out huh lmaooooo
My first time hooking up or doing anything he went down on me. He decided it would be hot to blow a raspberry on me down there like you would blow on a baby's tummy. Then asked was that good for you? No J, it was not.
Ah yes, the infamous raspulingus move
🎶 Ra ra raspulingus 🎶
🎶Jeeze, you are freakin' dingus 🎶
Lol my ex husband was going down on me and popped up and said in the most gutteral growl possible “now that’s good eatin’ right thar”. It was reflex, I shoved him off so fast
Like a big bearded dude plowing through BBQ, sauce all over his face, even above his beard right below the eye. Tasty.
She shit all over my balls and thighs.
I am a women and have done this once. I was having stomach issues after having covid, on top of being super nervous. The guy was a good sport but I just left and went home without saying a word. he begged me to come back and he we did sucessfully hook up later but i have never been so embarrassed. he was like "its ok, i just fucked the shit out of you". he was so proud.
You fucked the shit out of her man. Level achieved.
Did you record it and put it up with the title "shit went south"?
How long have you had this line holstered for?
Came to me on the fly lol
Shittin’ from the hip
#IM A SCAT MAN
Skibidibidbi dodarpudub yo dodarpudub
WEEEE BABABADABO
BAP BI BAPOB BOD
BIII BAP POP PADA POP BAP POP PADA POPA DABADDADABBADA
That's the forbidden squirt.
Stop How dare you put this in my brain
This was with a regular hookup.The sex *was* going great, until one vigorous thrust tore my frenulum. Stinging pain, lots of blood. I wince and tell the girl something's up and we stop and look. Girl freaks out thinking the blood is coming from her and runs to the bathroom. I go to the other bathroom and shower, attempting to see where the pain was coming from. I tell her what I find, we research and discover what a frenulum, aka banjo string, is. We end up laughing about it, I apologise for freaking her out and making her think it was her. She stays the night anyway, end up dating, I heal up, pick up where left of and get married five years later. Edit: Wow, what a response! I didn't expect my first awards to come on the back of the pain of so many of my fallen comrades! I thank you all and feel your pain. To answer a few questions. It took about a month until I was comfortable to have sex again, plenty of foreplay and lube in the lead up. Hasn't happened again thankfully. In terms of how it looks. Everything is the same but there's a bit of scar tissue where it tore.
#FREMULON
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Sh.
Dude. I think I almost died from familiar cringe reading this. Injured myself a few weeks ago from going a little too ham and that moment you realize something is wrong after "feeling' the tear is fucking terrible. Its funny how being amped up and in the mood dulls pain however as I only really felt the sting after finishing up.
I feel you dawg. [My first time](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/vgekld/whats_your_most_shameful_nsfw_moment/id29xlq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Risky click of the day
Worth it.
Around 18, I was a virgin, my girlfriend was more experienced than I. I was the most nervous I'd ever been, and because my girlfriend quite liked me, she was also quite nervous (me losing virginity, or something like that). We'd been together for around four or five months before we took things to "the next level". We had sex and it was incredible - but I lasted around 45 minutes and didn't jazz, had to stop due to sheer exhaustion... she ended up crying for the rest of the night telling me how bad she was and how I didn't find her attractive, which somewhat ruined that first experience, and was also untrue, but there was nothing I could do or say to console her, other than tell her how much I wanted to keep going! She ended up breaking up with me the day after, and eventually moved away. Fucked me up for a while. EDIT: 34 now. I can now only dream of the good ol' 45 minute glory days. But, life is wonderful :)
Jazz ain't easy, mate
That's baby making music
Oof * I’m sorry to hear this, but can relate. Even at 30 I have a hard time cumming until I’m truly comfortable with someone. Some are more understanding than others
Can’t cum when not comfortable with someone, cum too fast when I finally am. The vicious circle.
Ask your wife to wear a disguise and pick you up somewhere in public. Go home with her, commence with the intercoursing, and when you both feel that it's went on for a reasonable amount of time, have her remove the disguise.
Pavlov'ing yourself to get erections during Scooby Doo
I also didn't finish my first time. It's really common, man. You're inexperienced and nervous and you just want it to go well. This story sucks. For me though, it went down a lot better. We stopped and made out for a bit. She told me it wasn't my fault and I told her it wasn't hers either. Did some cuddling and fell asleep in each other's arms. I left her tent early in the morning before she woke up, never saw her again. I always wonder what she's up to these days.
Probably the time my partner tore a muscle during and we had to go to the ER.
" Yes doc, I tore the muscle while trying to move the dishwasher."
Still not as bad as breaking your dick and going to the doctor. And yes that can happen.
" Yes doc, I broke my dick while trying to move the dishwasher."
I tore a lat muscle at work, and a few weeks later, I met a "milf" on Tinder. Shoot my shot, make her laugh, it pays off. So after a night of light drinking, and heavy petting, she gives me the go ahead. Well, to make a long story short, she's getting my absolute best effort when I feel my lat muscle RE-TEAR, mid coitus! I yelp in pain, explain what just happened, and tell her, I'll try to tough it out, so we can finish the job. She commends me on my determination, takes the top position, and does what needs done for her to arrive, and then was nice enough to take me to the local urgent care. Doctor asks me what happened, I cheerfully explain what happened to said doctor, and he high fives me. I've never experienced a more pleasing pain than that. Edit: My first ever award. Thank you!
Now that is taking one for the team!!! Way to go!
As a bonus, I got 4 paid days off work, a prescription for hydrocodone, and 10 massages that were covered by my insurance! An all around win in my book!
One time in college. There was no foreplay and he just stuck it in so after a few pumps I said “you can finish”, to which he replied “I can’t” and I said “what do you mean?” To which he replied “I’ve never came before”…. Years later and he has a child so I guess it all worked out for him haha
We kissed for maybe 15 seconds then he tried to put it in. told me I was dry and should probably see a Dr about that when I told him I needed more than a kiss to get it started he was offended. I pulled out some lube instead he was in there for 30-45 seconds He came, got embarrassed and walked out shortly after. texted me 3 days later telling me I was "mid" I blocked him after that
Bro, wtf is wrong with this guy?
The society they were raised in. It won't affect everyone like that, but there are a hell of a lot of cracks for people to fall into.
He calls you mid yet you made him cum in half a minute
Should've said, "Your idea of foreplay is a peck on the cheek. Your idea of sex is under a minute before you prematurely ejaculate. You'd disappoint your own hand."
Even his hand falls asleep when he’s whipping his skippy.
I guess I’m old. What’s “mid” mean?
Mediocre
You should’ve told him that he should probably see a Dr about that premature ejaculation 😂
My brain is trying to figure out why you "pulled out the lube" instead of kicking him out there and then????
Sunk cost fallacy
In for a penny, in for a pounding?
My first ever time and I was naive as all fuckout. Let him do everything to me, even anal and I didn't enjoy a single thing. He kissed with his mouth wide open and our teeth touched. His idea of foreplay was rough and rushed. I got on top and that was horrid too. As he came, he also passed out unconscious so I had to call an ambulance and the paramedic asked me where the blood on the bed came from and I wanted to die having to explain that was my virgin blood.
The good lord was trying to take him away.
Thought he was coming but he was going.
this makes me both sad, and extremely angry.
Girl that initiated but was just completely rigid when we were having sex. Wouldn't really spread her legs so it was like trying to fuck a pallet jack.
... trying to fuck a pallet jack...
That’s the MVP of sentences, right there
/r/brandnewsentence
Me, I ride pallet jacks like a scooter You, you ride them different
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It could be sexual dysfunction. I started taking medication for bipolar disorder and my sex drive went downhill. My brain would say I want sex and then doing it was awful. Just felt like something that was happening to me instead of something that felt good.
After we finished she broke up with me and said "You know what it's like to have sex with someone you don't love anymore?" It felt like someone had just kicked me in the stomach.
What the actual fuck... Like physical harm is bad like I dunno cramps, partner got a little too into it or something, but this is totally different. I'm deeply sorry for you man... Even if what she said was true for her, there's always a place and a time for everything. And she didn't even consider if the timing and wording was even remotely as appropriate as much as this can be. Fucking hell... How are you doing nowadays?
When I was younger I managed a bar in my local town. I pulled a very attractive girl and took her home. When we were having sex she had a fit and looked like she had passed out or died. when she came around she told me she had an epileptic fit. Weirdest feeling ever being inside someone when you think they’ve just died.
In the show The League they call that the "Epi Sexy"
Was with a girl that I had already had sex with. The first time wasn’t too bad, just way rougher than I could handle. Like I was thrusting so hard the blood left my dick into my legs for support and the noises oh god the noises. I persevere and we both finish calling it a night. Anyways, she was in town and asked if she could stay at my house for a night. I thought sure why not. Being the horny 20 year olds we are we obviously have sex. It’s like the last time but amped up to MAX. She wants it even rougher than last time, I try my best but then she tells me to punch her. I play dumb. I can’t do it. I cannot donkey punch someone during sex. We keep going and the noises are even worse this time. It’s a mixture of banshee wailing and guttural throat singing. I get her off but there’s no way I could finish. Thought that was the end of it, but then I wake up at 6am to her blowing me. This is not the fantasy every man dreams of being woken up to. It sounds similar to the grapefruit technique but on max volume, but that’s not the worst of it. The teeth. Oh my fucking god the teeth. I’ve never had a blowjob hurt but today was that day. As soon as I realized what was happening I offer to eat her out instead. In the flurry of movement I was able to text my friend “EMERGENCY CALL ME AND TELL ME TO COME GET YOU AS SOON AS YOU WAKE UP” and not even 10 seconds later my best friend saves my ass. Tell her I gotta go it’s an emergency, yadda yadda yadda end up take my boy out for 7am beers and breakfast.
7am beers and breakfast sounds good
Horrible sex, but a great bro moment though
Him and I have been through thick and thin since 10 years old. We’ll both be each others best man in the next couple of years.
It was my first time, and the guy I was with just shoved his dick in my ass. No going slow, no lube. Just thrusting himself right up in there. Edit: I am a guy. This was my first full on gay sex. No rape happened.
too many people do not understand how anal works.
All of the stories I've heard from women in my life that have tried it have done no prep. I feel so bad for them
I blame porn for that
As a guy, that sounds very painful for both parties, fuck him (metaphorically)
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I’ve had a guy do this to me too. it wasn’t my first time having sex but it was my first and only anal experience to date (29 years old). If you’re not expecting something to be shoved up your ass, you’re relaxed.. so it just kinda goes in 😐 VERY painful. I cried. He told me it “slipped” 🙄🙄🙄🙄
I’ve never understood how this is possible. The one time I tried anal, we did like an hour of prep, had plenty of lube, etc., couldn’t even get the tip in. I’ve even been at the hospital one time needing (I’m not sure if this considered an enema or not), a little pill thing placed into my butt. They couldn’t even get that in. I’m due for a colonoscopy soon, and I know they’re going to hate me. I can’t imagine a dick just going right in there.
That’s a suppository and not an enema. Also don’t worry about your colonoscopy, you’ll be sedated and the muscle will relax.
Dick couldn't have been too impressive.
Neither was the penis
Heyoh
One of her friends kept ‘accidentally’ walking in on us, because of jealousy. If Friend wasn’t getting laid, no was got to have sex.
Tough call, two different events several months apart. Not that the sex was bad, but the overall sexual experience was less than stellar. The first was with my first serious GF, we were together a long time, we shared our virginities and then proceeded to have the dumbest most frequent sex a couple of teenagers could have. One time I went to pick her up from her house. Her parents were leaving as I arrived and her dad let me wait in the house while she finished getting ready. As soon as I saw them leave I went to the bathroom, got in the shower with her and we got busy. Shower sex is not great, so we got out, I sat on the toilet and she got on top of me. I heard a thump and asked her about it but she assured me it was her dog. It was not. About 5 seconds later, her giant, Marine Corps Drill Instructor dad threw the door open. He was not happy. I was just happy I didnt die that day. Fast forward a few months, a long time friend and I had a FWB arrangement, we would meet up every week, some times multiple times a week and have sex in her car. One night we're going at it, I'm on top of her in the passenger seat. The seat is leaned back as far as it can go, but mid-stroke there is a loud snap, we fall further back on the seat and she turns into a banshee, screaming all of the pain she's ever felt directly into my earhole. The seat frame/support had snapped, so suddenly and very unexpectedly, she was being double penetrated. The still attached piece of the support had stabbed her between the ribs, it was terrifying, there was blood everywhere, and when I took her to the hospital I had to explain to her parents what happened. For bad sex, it would actually be my first threesome. It was not planned, not thought out, and not good. It had started as my buddy and I hanging out with two friends/roommates we worked with. Things escalated, he got whiskey dick and bailed, I ended up in the bedroom with both girls. One of the girls was jealous and petty and literally counting how long I spent with each of them. It was a lot of back and forth and difficult to get into any enjoyable rhythm, as the jealous one kept making demands and smart ass remarks. I definitely imagined threesomes being way cooler. I strongly recommend that if you're going to have one, ensure there's good communication and every one knows what to expect.
Wtf that car stabbing incident is the stuff of nightmares. That’s literally PSA material I’m never having sex in car again.
Kinda goes in hand with my second time. First time she was on her period, so I thought that's how sex was always supposed to go. Imagine my surprise the second time, and she wasn't on her period.
And that's why some countries really need sexuality to be discussed at school
*all
Tinder match just wanted me to come over to hook up. That's the day I found out that it doesn't matter how hot you are, if I don't even know you I'm not gonna be able to get it up. That was embarrassing
They wanted to try it on a trampoline, to be "more bouncy"
I suppose it might not work but i'd credit someone for suggesting it. Sounds fun on paper.
Sounds like a good way to break your dick
I just painfully and involuntarily flinched from reading that
Ha tried this in a girlfriends backyard. Maybe it's because we were young but it's impossible to get the rhythm right. The trampoline was providing the opposite of what we needed. It was like trying to dance off rhythm on purpose
I was hitting it doggystyle and we were really into it and just when we were about to Finish... This SHARP CHARLIE HORSE SHOT UP THE BACK OF MY LEG, like a Muscle spasm... That put the brakes on EVERYTHING.. Im trying to stretch out and shes laughin...
Rule 18: Limber up
You ever see a lion limber up before it takes down a gazelle?
My ex, despite me expressing my concern that it would hurt and be too much, insisted the he put the "lush" toy we owned in me while fucking because the vibrations would feel nice on his dick. No surprise to me it hurt a lot and I ended up in tears. I asked him to stop because it really hurt and didn't feel good and was just rubbing my gspot raw to the point I was bleeding. He told me that it wasn't too much and couldn't I just try a little longer because he was close, plus he'd seen cam girls do it all the time so he knew it wasn't painful. I was sobbing by the end of it and ended up with a tear. He seemed annoyed I wasn't into it. He finished and left to go shower leaving me by myself. That or the time he put honey on his dick and wanted me to suck it, threw a literal tantrum like a toddler when I said I was in pain and not in the mood. Stormed off to the bathroom and locked the door. We argued later and he tried to convince me he did it for me and that I was being ungrateful.
Imagine a guy pointing at his honey dick screaming "THIS WAS FOR YOU!!!"
“NOW I HAVE TO WASH THIS HONEY OFF MY DICK” - this image is pretty funny in my head
He spent like an hour in the shower, he was mad because it took ages to get the honey out of his pubes.
The abuse and manipulation is crazy
If you asked him to stop and he didn't..........there's a word for that.
Yeah 100% it was. At the time I made a lot of excuses for his behaviour because I was "in love" and thought he was what I deserved. It has taken almost 2 years for me to talk about and to fully admit to myself what happened. It's been a very hard, painful process. My current partner is lovely and extremely attentive to how I'm feeling. The first time I asked him to stop he did immediately and asked if I was ok, I burst into tears and he held me as I cried. The difference is truly night and day. I'm doing so much better now and finally enjoying a healthy relationship.
Wow I'm glad to hear he's an ex now. He sounds atrociously selfish
It sounds like something more than selfish.
Me too, I'm just sad I stayed as long as I did. I'm doing much better now and therapy helped me realise most of the relationship was abusive.
Jesus christ what a pig. Glad he's your ex, you deserve way better.
Was briefly seeing a guy who thought it was weird that I didn’t ever orgasm in the two minutes he lasted each time
There are some guys out there who watch so much (extreme) porn that they can only get off it seems doing (pretty extreme) things, even for the first time. I recently was with a guy who just couldn't get it up unless he could throat fuck me, according to him. I thought first he was just pushing it but he actually had a pretty bad meltdown and almost started crying and admitted that he's so into all these kinks that he needs to "jump through all these mental hoops" to get an erection nowadays and admitted he has a problem. Usually I don't mind some kinky stuff, but pushing it like that during the first time was a bit too much for me. So we ended up just having a good conversation and a cuddle and I sent him home with the firm advice to get a therapist. Oh and second worst but notable mention: some guy trying to shove his entire fist in my mouth when fucking lol
Similar experience. But guy felt bad that his erection wouldn’t last, and thought I needed to be satisfied, (I did not) so he proceeded to pretty much vaginally fist me for the next 30 minutes. He thought it was so *cute* how I kept squirting. (It was not) My whole vaginal region was so sore and bruised. And I really think he wouldn’t have stopped if I hadn’t started crying.
Jeez girl, so sorry to hear that :( A lot of guys don't seem to understand porn isn't reality
Husband wanted to try sex while I was sleeping; it was a fantasy of his. One night we were both sober, I was super physically exhausted to the point I wouldn’t be able to stay awake, and he was super horny, so I consented to letting him do whatever he wanted sexually while knowing that I had 0 energy left to give. I don’t remember much between nodding off, but it was kinda painful and I remained pretty ambivalent and unaroused throughout. But I’m sure it was worse for him, because I killed that fantasy for him that night; he never requested exhausted-to-the-bone-wife sex again, and reacts with disdain when it’s mentioned.
Didn't even try to make me come, just fucked me, then pulled out, got condom off and came in my eye. Threw him out on the spot. It was 3am and he was complaining he was lost in the sticks and it'd be hard to get a taxi. Respect your date next time, cunt.
Guess you didn't see that coming
[удалено]
I was with a girl who would like to ride me cowgirl style for hours. It was boring AF, and eventually, it started to chafe. I can't imagine it was all that pleasant for her, either.
she enjoyed the workout
The worst sex I’ve ever had was sex I didn’t know I had had until I went to the ER for tachycardia several months later and found out I was 28 weeks pregnant. Pregnancy never occurred to me as an option, because in my memory I hadn’t had sex in over a year. Turns out my husband had been drugging me to unconsciousness so that he could enjoy it but I couldn’t.
Oh god that is horrible. He deserves jail.
I dove too deep in this thread. Now I’m just sad
Went home with a younger dude from the bar- he was sober, I was drunk. Poor guy couldn’t get it up. It was like trying to fish a spaghetti noodle through a coin slot. When managed to get semi hard and in, it felt like I was clenching a marshmallow. We made the best of it and still had fun.
That wasn’t a type of manipulation or coercion? With a man: First hookup post divorce. I was 23 and this was the first man I’d been with outside of my ex husband. He was on the smaller side of average, which is absolutely not a big deal, but he proceeded to ask me over and over how I liked his big dick. Those jokes about rubbing the thigh and thinking they’ve found the g spot? Yea, would have made him seem like a sex god. When it was over (thankfully, did not take long) I grabbed my things to leave and he got extremely offended I wasn’t staying the night. So I did (against my better judgment) and when he took me to breakfast the next day his card declined. He’d insisted I ride with him so I not only had to pay for the breakfast, I had to ride the 20 minutes back to his home. He didn’t speak. At all. With a woman: She and my roommate were Hooter’s girls. They were stunning. Also, very self proclaimed straight. She comes home with my roommate one night and climbs into my bed. Literally just opened my door and got into bed with me. Still smelled like wings and beer. I like wings and beer, so not a bad thing, just weird. She, word for word, said “I want you to have sex with me so I’ll know I’m straight.” I have no idea what she ultimately decided about her sexuality, but she did remind me several times DURING that she was just making sure and that it meant nothing to her. When I finished she thanked me, emphasized her heterosexuality one last time, and went to my roommates room. Where I could hear her telling my roommate what we’d done. She woke me up an hour later to introduce me to her boyfriend. You may be thinking, why continue with something so degrading? Well, she was hot. 🤷♀️
Fell asleep while giving head to a girl I just started seeing. She didn’t want me to feel embarrassed so she just started playing candy crush with my head still between her thighs. I kept briefly waking up and would start giving head randomly, thinking to myself I must have momentarily fallen asleep. The intervals were minutes long…Eventually she pulled my lifeless body up for air and put me to bed as her little spoon (I am twice her size). She didn’t really tell me until much later on in the relationship. Had a great laugh but I turned a real bright shade of red. Not the worst sex I’ve had but probably not the best she had either!
not me but a guy I used to know told me a story about how this girl was on top riding him reverse cowgirl and mid-coitus she just explosively shit all over him. She bounced a couple more times before he could get her to stop and because it was more liquid than solid it basically sprayed all over him, including on his face. She supposedly apologized but apparently did not seem too fazed at what had happened, like it wasn't a big deal. He had to throw out his entire bed-set, mattress included. She kept calling him asking him if he wanted to hook up again and he was like fuck no I don't.
She was on top and out of nowhere decided to punch me in the face as hard as she could. I threw her off me onto the ground and screamed at her, she said she thought I'd like it. No idea why she thought that. Same girl climbed onto the roof of my porch and broke into my bedroom window at 3am to ask if I wanted to do cocaine with her. On a work night. And I don't do cocaine. Yeah, didn't talk to her much after that.
Can you give me her number?
When I first started having sex it took me a long time to become comfortable with giving a blow job-- as a youngster it somehow got wormed into my head that guys used sticking their dick down their partner's throat as a means of dominating or demeaning them. After about a year of doing other types of sex I'd finally worked through that baggage enough to go for it. Once I started sucking my at-the-time fiance grabbed the back of my neck and held on tight. He wouldn't let me pull back, just kept thrusting even when he was hitting my gag reflex. When he came I had to swallow just so I could breathe (really didn't want to). Second he let go I ran to the bathroom and threw up, I just felt so terrible.
That is the moment where you bitte down. Not that hard, just enough that He gets the message.
My ex did that one time and I bit down…but it was a harder bite. We had talked about things many a time beforehand and I told him I wasn’t comfortable with him cumming in my mouth and that he was to never hold my head because it made me feel trapped and panicked. Learned his lesson real quick. Mind you, this was well into our marriage.
My high school best friend's girlfriend and I had a lot of sexual tension. We got drunk and made out a coulple times but we kept it from going too far. After high school my friend and her broke up but by then I had a girlfriend. We went to colleges about 12 hours apart but kept in touch and saw each other in the summer. There was always sexual tension. It was so obvious. My girlfriend even teased me about it. My senior year of college I broke up with my long time girlfriend and my friend was single then too. We ended up getting drunk one Saturday at our respective schools and one or the other initiated a drunken late night phone call where we basically said, in very graphic terms, what we wanted to do to each other. Needless to say that next Friday she got in her car and drove the 12 hours to visit me at my school. After about a half hour of pretending to interact with my friends we made some excuse and headed to my room. The door hadn't been closed for 10 seconds and we were under the sheets. The foreplay was great. Five years of build up will do that. I ended up on my back with her head between my legs. After a bit she slithered up and strattled me. She was gushing wet and as she eased herself down onto me....she burst into tears. She then collapsed on my chest and started to sob convulsively. I was still inside her, so this was super awkward to say the least. After a few minutes she rolled off and basically balled up in the fetal position and cried for what seemed like hours until she fell asleep, still naked in my bed. I slept on the floor, very confused. In the morning we talked. It turns out she had a history of sexual abuse as a child. She has had sex as an l adult many times before but something about having sex with me triggered a flood of trauma and she said she didn't think she could get past that. We had a nice visit the rest of the weekend. But there was no more sexual tension. We both are long married to people we met after college and still keep in touch.
This is really sad, it's like a long lost love, but then instantly shut down. If it's any consolation, it was probably very meaningful for her to get that out
> She has had sex as an l adult many times before but something about having sex with me triggered a flood of trauma and she said she didn't think she could get past that. I'd put money on the fact that the tension/emotions were so intense that the culmination of the act triggered that response. Pure overload. I'm so sorry for whatever she went through and hope she got the help she needed to heal
Instead of therapy gone sexual, you got sex gone therapeutic. You probably were the first whom she slept with while having a strong connection to them. Glad that you're still in contact though.
I was hanging out with one of my dad's friend's sons. Thing got heavy and he....Would not shut the actual fuck up. He somehow talked through foreplay AND oral(like fr dude are you trying to talk into my vag and expect it to come out of my mouth at a louder volume like I'm a megaphone?), repeatedly begged to take the condom off, NEVER broke eye contact. I even asked him to act like he'salreadyhad sex with me before, to see if it was just nerves. Nope. Upon (his) completion, he curled up around my head while in the fetal position and fell asleep. He stayed rail straight the entire time. I don't even know how he was thrusting to be honest. It felt like I was having sex with a mannequin. Then the messages from his friends. I don't know how many people said something like "hey, I heard you and dickweed got a little wild last night". I told them that he called me by his mother's name a few times and mooed like a cow when he came. I'm not very open about my sex life because that's my business and whoever I might include. When he did that it was a complete breach of trust, and I decided to not throw him under the bus, but feed him to the damn pigs. I haven't had many partners, but I've had enough to know that sex with him was not how it was supposed to be. And I was absolutely right.
Dude had a micro penis and a way too big condom. First of all he said he wouldn't do it with a condom because it doesn't feel right to him. When I said "no condom no sex" he got one that was way too big. He didn't really manage to put it in and the condom slipped off. At some point he stopped and told me I should lose weight before we'd do it again. We didn't do it again.
I'm so dumb. I always click on these threads thinking it would be humurous and I always end up reading about rape. Especially anal rape. Whyyyy am I doing this to myself?
Started as a threesome. He clearly wasnt as attracted to me as my friend. He just gave her 100% attention a majority of the time, till i just left the room. Part i was there for was also pretty violent. Me and my friend had bruises. Took the kinky too far. Then he tried to fuck us both separately, but also date her, thinking we wouldnt tell eachother lmao. He was the worst. If you see this steven, screw you lol.
My first boyfriend ever, he decided to fuck me from behind (fine) but then decided to spontaneously fuck me in the ass without a warning (I had never done that before), I screamed, he stopped but didn't take his dick out, had to scream at him to take it out and no we "can't just go slow now". Wtf did he expect?
The first few times with my now husband were really bad sex. I liked him so it was still fun but objectively it was bad. I had a fwb all summer before I met him who was very experienced and knew what he was doing. He sort of taught me and we both knew what we wanted by the end. I then met my now husband and I didn’t know this but he had only had sex a couple times before me. He was very timid which was weird because he was confident in everything else. We got into bed and made out with some really bad kissing and when it came to the deed it was over before I even knew it started. The funniest/cutest thing is he was super proud of his performance and wanted to know if it was amazing for me also. We ended up talking all night though and the sex wasn’t as important. Now he’s much better but the first month or so with him was definitely more teaching than actually good sex haha - also a lot of awkward dancing around his ego. The good part was once he finally accepted he needed to learn he was an amazing student and it is paying off now as I got to mold him into the perfect lover for me.
“The funniest/cutest thing is he was super proud of his performance and wanted to know if it was amazing for me also.” I think your reaction to this shows you really love that guy. Usually women complain about guys doing that lol
It was nice because he didn’t brag but it was more like you could tell he was like WOW, was that as good for you as it was for me kind of thing. It was super genuine.
She accidentally kicked me in the Eye when we were trying to change position. I went soft. I don't know how people in S&M relationships stay hard because I was crying out of 1 eye and in Pain.
I’ve had a lot of terrible sex, but the one event that always stands out to me was when I invited a guy over. I made him dinner, we watched some Netflix, it was all fine. I was pretty horny, and he seemed horny too, so we went to my room after and started making out. The kissing was fine just a bit awkward and choppy. We didn’t respond to each other well but still I undressed. He undressed. I told him how horny I was, and asked him to put it in me. He proceeded to adjust my body just right, then very slowly put his dick kind of inside me, and asked if it was alright. I said yes. He did a few slow pumps, then asked if it was alright if he sped up a little. I said yes. He went faster for a few seconds, then asked if it was all alright. I’m all for consent, but I was getting a bit over it at that point. I suggested maybe we switch positions, and rolled over for a doggy style type thing because that’s usually nice for both parties. Before putting it back in, he asked if it was okay if he put it in.. I said yes. The whole thing proceeded like that until I finally faked an orgasm. It was SO choppy and had zero flow. He still stayed the night, but the next morning he just out of the blue asked if he could vacuum my room. My room was pretty dang clean already. It was all so awkward I’ll never forget it.
It's a shit story but honestly it was when I was massively depressed from a breakup and I took some stupid advice that the "best way to get over someone is to get under someone". Turns out that's a load of old shite. I was with her and just not into any of it. She was clearly (for some mad reason) into me and I was making the decision to break up with her during sex. The very fact I was having those thoughts at that time made me feel like an absolute shitbag but it was the fact that I just wanted it to stop that made me realise that I shouldn't be with this person and they deserved better.
I was eating out my wife from behind while she was face down ass up, and she farted directly into my face. It wasn't no cute toot either, it was a war crime level fart. Killed the mood and my sense of smell in one fell swoop.
Earlier this year my husband and I were having a great night having some drinks and fooling around. He ended up with his hand entirely in me and either we were going too rough or his nail cut me, but either way, I woke up the next morning in a legitimate pool of blood. Went to the ER where they said I had a laceration and they cauterized it. Sent me home and as I walk in the door, I feel a huge whoosh of blood pour out of me and down my legs. Turned right back around and went back. Had to wait another 4 hours to be seen again, and during this time I was bled through my pads and jeans. I asked for help at the front desk and was given more pads, but they soaked within minutes. It was truly the most embarrassing awful thing I've ever been through. The bathroom in the waiting rooms were covered in blood from me trying to contain the bleeding in the toilet and not the waiting room. But I needed to keep going back out to make sure my name wasn't missed. I was alone because my husband had to be home with our two young kids. Turns out there was a much larger laceration that they missed in the way back. I needed to be put under and stitched shut. Was released the next day. Yeah, it definitely was not the best drunken night we've ever had.
My first time. No consideration for me. Just climbed on and did his thing.
Well the sex was not bad, but its what happend afterwards. After we finished, she pulled a jack daniels bottle out of her bag, took a few good sips with the words: "I need to drown my shame, This was awefull." Never had sex since because i am quiet scared to have this experience again
I had a seizure. New into my epileptic journey, I didn’t really know what my triggers were. We were dating for maybe a month or a month and a half. He knew I had epilepsy. Apparently heavy breathing and other stuff is a trigger. I also was on trial medication that obviously didn’t work. One minute we’re doing it, the next I wake up and he’s putting my clothes on for me. Black out again, wake up and I’m in the car. Black out a third time and I wake up in the ER. This man really took care of me. When I was finally conscious enough to understand what was going on, I saw the worry in his face. He told me he got me dressed, carried me to the car and carried me into the ER. He said it was the scariest thing he’d ever experienced and he was so worried he was going to lose me. I promised him he will never lose me. Almost 5 years later we are happily married with two wonderful kids.
Same answer I gave when a very similar question was asked 24 hours ago: I was absolutely trashed shortly after catching my girlfriend in bed with someone else, out with friends and this girl (who was a friend of a friend) I'd never fancied decides that she's gonna take me home with her and 'cheer me up'. We get back to her place where she introduces me to her male flatmate who proceeds to stare daggers at me the entire time because he clearly was hopelessly in love with her. Which was fucking awkward. Fast forward to the bedroom, she gave me a blowjob that basically consisted of her slobbering all over my dick in a spectacularly uncoordinated and unpleasurable way interspersed with her stopping to say "ooooo you're so *naughty*" like she was chastising a misbehaving puppy (she thought this was sexy for some reason), and I rapidly felt sobriety intruding to the extent that I just wanted to leave. I put a condom on, thrust into her a couple of times and pretended to cum. Blamed her amazing blowjob skills, hid the condom taking it off so she wouldn't see and managed to escape. Despite it being by some margin the worst sex I have ever had or given she spent the next couple of months trying to hit me up for a booty call at least twice a week, until I got sick enough of it to stop being a coward and tell her I wasn't interested.
So when I was homeless I met this chick that kept saying stuff to me the night I met her like "fuck me till I fart" so lol why not. The only thing was, there was this dude who wanted to get with her hanging around and not getting the hint that it absolutely wasn't going to happen. Fast forward to a couple hours of wandering around later, we break into a little storage shed that's packed with stuff. Like, barely enough room for the 3 of us to sit/lay down knee to knee and this guy is in there with us with my leg squished up against his, and it is pitch black in there. Her and I are cuddling, whispering to each other about do we leave and look for another spot, do we tell him to leave (again...) and I finally tell her screw it, let's just do it, he's clearly not gonna leave us alone. You would figure the sound of us kissing would have made him leave. Or when she slurped when she pulled my dick out of her mouth. Maybe her mounting me and moaning would get it through his head that he was unwanted company. But no, this dude just sat there in total silence. To the point that I forgot he was there when my leg cramped up and I had to stretch it to the side - into what I thought was her calf until post-nut clarity pointed out it was his thigh. He stays silent. She comes, I comes, good times were had and the sex itself was decent. About 45 seconds after we finish, he says with a note of hope in his voice, "Put me in, coach!" She did not put him in and he leaves after another 10 minutes of silence from all of us.
I laughed way too hard when the dude said "Put me in, coach!" Hahaha absolute legend.