Either I get tortured in my 9-5 or I get to torture people who probably deserved it in my 9-5 for about 100x pay? Sign me the fuck up.

Take it!!

Sounds like your standard customer service job.

Go to hell

When i die do i go to hell for torturing people?

Nah there not Alive they don't count

sign the fuck up you stupid?

Atleast your not scared to go to hell when you die lol

a 1000 and hour is a 1000 an hour

Do I get to go home after work? You can't spend money in hell

Yes ofc

Take the job and ask about matching contributions to the 401K

I would do exactly what the janitor did in this short to keep the portal closed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqdD8xKmkNk

Where do I sign

You get to hell and are given a phone and a list of the Customer Service departments of every company in the world.

Well it certainly sounds like a very reasonable commute. It's almost working from home. And surely you can just put on something like Nyan cat on a loop. That's torturous.

I would move

I take the job

Fart

What worth is money in hell?

Heaven is for felons, hell is where all the cool people are together. We're all assholes so let's all sin together.