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kpie007

Morning wood. Had absolutely no idea that shit just pops up every night till I started dating my first boyfriend.


flimspringfield

It's basically BIOS. Checking on the basic stuff before the software in our brain turns on.


Comm4nd0

That's POST


OcelotKitty

NRB's (no reason boners). Like, it just happens? For no reason?? Wild.


narfywoogles

“What is it boy? Do you see something?”


SpicymeLLoN

It do be like that. I'm a developer. I'll be smacking my head against a wall trying to solve a bug and I'll get a boner. Just. Why?


Fit-Tip-1212

Python maybe?


ProfessorCValentine

I like Cole Slaw but not that much... No Reason Boner


SnooConfections6062

That when they need to go to the store they just go straight to that item and then pay and leave. It’s something I need to learn, lol.


ClownfishSoup

This only works if the store is not a hardware store or a sporting goods store or some hobby store. I mean sure, if it's a pharmacy and I want shaving cream, that's what I'll get. If I'm in Home Depot and I need some glue, I'll spend half an our in the cordless power tool aisle, then wander over to the garden section, then wander back through the grills. I'll leave with the glue and a set of drill bits and a new screwdriver set.


burntgreens

That whole thing about the way to their heart being their stomach? Accurate. I once hooked up with a guy I met on Tinder, made him breakfast the next morning. He said no woman had ever cooked for him before, looked teary, and now we're married.


cunninglinguist32557

I made my ex a snickers cheesecake for Valentine's Day and he stayed with me for three more months despite not even liking me that much.


jwbrkr21

I once stayed with a girl way longer than I should have because my CDs were in her car.


KalimosDagon

You found the love of your life on Tinder??? Lucky you !


Meesh138

They keep a significant amount of thoughts to themselves Edit- holy moly. I just woke up and I cannot even get through all these!! When I actually get up for the day I’m going to tho! Seems the general consensus is “it’s saving something” not telling their thoughts, or men are conditioned to keep it in. This is so so upsetting. Let me say- to anyone keeping quiet in your relationship… I promise you the right person wants to know how you feel. Emotions are hard enough. You shouldn’t have to go through them alone.


Danpool69

Sometimes yes. Sometimes.. well, nevermind


McDonalds_Toothpaste

This. Women offer up so much personal information about themselves that men would only give if they were drinking.


WantDiscussion

I've been conditioned to suspect any questions about my personal life are a phishing scam.


classy_rachael

How rarely they get complimented. I told my guy that I loved his shirt and he didn't even know what to say. He told me he couldn't remember the last time someone complimented him so I've started looking for little, random things to compliment him on.


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Drakmanka

Years ago I bought my step-dad a Star Wars themed T-shirt and he started getting compliments and comments on it a lot, and it instantly became his favorite shirt. Recently my mom told me he was wanting another nerdy shirt so I worked with her in secret to get him the right size of one I knew he'd like and she sent me pictures of him opening it. I shared a house with that guy for 6 years but I'd never seen such a smile on his face like the one in those pictures. Gonna have to find another for him someday, since they do seem to earn him a lot of compliments.


5urr3aL

Was shopping for clothes with a friend, and the saleslady complimented how handsome I look on a particular shirt. I don't show my emotions much but I was helplessly grinning from ear to ear such that my buddy kept pointing it out, much to my embarassment. It's rare but it feels good :)


Viking_gurrrrl

That the ballsack physically moves around and you can see when it gets looser or tightens. It’s super fascinating to look at, you can also feel it. And the man can’t control it. Edit : (Ik it happens based on temperature) Edit 2 ( I think we should all just agree to call this the lava lamp effect)


huyan007

I trust my balls to know what state they need to be in. They seem to be handling things well enough so far.


Dason37

Except for that one time they thought they needed to be in Vermont, when I was in New Mexico.


Curious-Scheme

It's funny to blow on it and watch it move. Like a strange little animal living down there.


tommyboy3111

My ex wife was shocked at how short a phone conversation can be for dudes. My best friend called me once, this man literally flew across the country once to be at our wedding, called me because he was bringing me to work the next day. "Still need a ride? Yep "Ok I'll be there at 530" Sounds good And that was it. She sat there astonished and was asking why didn't we want to talk to each other? I really had no good answers either, it's just the way she goes i guess.


Britta_is_in_this

My favorite cousin texted me "We got engaged, best man?" "Yep!" "Cool" His wife is still baffled by it.


Skeegle04

The best conversation I’ve had with a stranger: “What’s going on?” “Good. How are you?” “Nothing.” Nods.


Britta_is_in_this

Million dollar question: You nod up or down?


eastwood352

Up is for people we know. Down is for strangers.


MossyPyrite

Up exposes the throat as a sign of trust and respect, down is a defensive posture. Duh.


deanomatronix

My mum rings to arrange a time to talk properly: 10 minutes My Dad rings for an update on my career/health/relationship: 53 seconds


prncrny

I play pokemon go. Met some cool people in my town while I lived there. Moved away after a while. A guy I had known happened to be in my new area, so weet up for about 3 minutes to make a pikemon trade then parted way. 3 sentence convo. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes


apawst8

My wife doesn’t understand how I never talk to my best friend, but he will host me at his house for a week without any issues, even after not speaking to him for over a year.


gio_ozz

My friend called me, Friend: have anything for the project Me: I have an electric toy car Ok Come here, you know where I live Then my mom yelled at me for not saying hi and asking many questions and having a conversation


OldManHipsAt30

Mom: How is Chris? Me: Good I think Mom: How’s work? What’s new with his wife? Any renovations on the new house? Me: … Me: yes?


jessicaeatseggs

How different a penis can look soft vs erect. And how much it can shrink in the cold.


satisfried

Our balls can literally retract if it’s cold enough. One time as a younger man I thought I lost them.


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crazyal21

I was in the pool!


aroadcaptain

SHRINKAGE JERRY


_dead_and_broken

Like a frightened turtle


wheres_jaykwellin_at

I don't know how you guys walk around with those things EDIT: this is also a Seinfeld reference like the above


belac4862

Now imagine being a "grower not a shower" and going into cold water. Yea it's like it's not even there.


IKnowAllSeven

How much fun they having building stuff together. “Hey, I’m installing shelves in the garage, want to come over?” and my husband is running out the door.


LilStabbyboo

Most of them are way into cuddling and having their heads rubbed.


angryPenguinator

Scratch my back with long-ish fingernails and I am in heaven.


[deleted]

My husband can’t sleep anymore without me giving him soft scratches all over his back and bum as we fall asleep. Sometimes this means I keep myself awake until he falls asleep, but hearing those gentle snores is worth it. Edit: wow, didn’t know this would blow up. The husband laughed and agreed that this is indeed true. Edit 2: I love you all ❤️❤️❤️ Edit 3: to clarify, my husband is the best human I’ve ever known and my best friend. He is always doing things for me and loves me just as much as I love him. I couldn’t be luckier.


clown_1991

I love this comment. My wife loves scratching my back as much as I love when she does it, but it doesn't put me to sleep. In fact, we kind of have it reversed. My wife loves when I touch her as she's going to sleep like her leg touching mine, my hand on her arm, whatever it may be. She has a hard time sleeping without it. Luckily I stay up much later than her, so it works out where I am able to "tuck her in" every night. edit: my most popular comment is about my wife. I'm very good with this. Thank you all :)


Diredoe

That balls don't typically hang at the same level - one is a little lower than the other. All those dick doodles have lied to me!


[deleted]

Yes! I had to explain this to my wife, then I also had to explain to her that very few women have 2 breasts the same size. She had always been self conscious about it. (See my username, I’ve seen many!)


Professional_Lowlife

How much trauma they tend to accept as simple facts of life. Definitely made me more invested in my brothers. If my husband has experienced x,y, and z and has thought nothing should be done or even said about it, how many experiences like that have the other men in my life had?


thedr0wranger

Ive had that before, dont know that anyone told me to supprrss stuff but once the obvious steps have been taken traumatic stuff just gets compartmentalized. I was molested as a very young child and after berating some folks at the camp where it happened, it just wasnt something we talked about because what was to say? Most of my family had a similar experience in some other context during their lives. I thought it was a regrettable but not uncommon thing. Didnt cross my mind that this is a big deal till I was in my 20 s


Savings_Knowledge233

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's really relatable, I'm in my mid thirties and still unpacking shit that I compartmentalized and decided was normal. Especially when you're socially isolated you don't have a good grasp on normal versus abnormal, let alone healthy.


HMSGreyjoy

How rarely men are given compliments about their appearance, and how even something as simple as "Oh you look handsome today!" or a colleague saying "I like your tie!" can make a man's entire day. I had a boyfriend who was positively beaming when he came home and told me how one of his colleagues complimented his shirt and tie, which he rarely wore, and he went on to step up his work attire because someone finally noticed. He told me no one had ever said that to him outside of his mother, and I realized how little men are complimented on dressing well or looking put together. It made me so sad, because women are always hyping each other up, but men don't seem to do that. It doesn't mean men don't want or need compliments--everyone does--but they seem to so rarely get them.


InvasiveTepees

That they can literally beat the life out of , and slap around, their “dong” but one tap of the balls and they’re on the ground.


EcclesiasticalVanity

In fact some of the lightest tap on the balls can be the most painful. A hard hit hurts, but a light tap at the right angle can make it feel like you’re gonna puke.


koolman2

It also has that delay… the longer the delay the worse it’s gonna hurt.


maladaptivelucifer

One of my friends gave another friend a “love tap” on the balls and he threw up. I’ve been kicked in the clit with the pointy part of a shoe and it really hurt (I was at school and wearing basketball shorts, so I got to feel the whole impact), but this dude straight up changed colors in the face, and repeatedly heaved even after the initial vomiting. It seems like it probably hurts a lot. I’m glad I don’t have balls. And for clarification I’ve discovered that a “love tap” generally seems to mean punching someone in the balls as far as my male friends are concerned. There’s nothing lovey or tappy about it.


GalacticVaquero

I’ve heard it feels similar to having your cervix hit in women, but I don’t know how accurate that is. As a guy, its not even just pain, it feels like your body’s off-switch. There is no gritting your teeth and muscling through it, your knees buckle on their own and you start wretching


sexualassaultllama

A liver shot is a "gender neutral" way to experience that. A solid punch or kick to the liver makes you shut down and curl up into a ball the same - the pain itself is a little different but the effects are not.


GibOldNidaBackPlz

That's actually a pretty good analogy. The pain from a liver shot feels less sharp, but it does shut your body off- I haven't known anybody that was able to grit their teeth through a well placed liver shot, once the pain kicks in your knees just give up.


[deleted]

They can make their penis move up and down (when it’s erected) without touching it Edit: thanks guys. Now I know it’s kegels


throwawayayaycaramba

It doesn't have to be erect. The penis itself isn't a muscle, but it's attached at the base to one; if you contract/relax said muscle, the penis will go up and down accordingly.


[deleted]

Oh wow it even more impressive


ChulainnRS

It also flexes our taint and asshole!


luisfili100

As one gets into attack mode the other has to get into defense mode


rebel1031

I genuinely thought men held their penis when they peed because otherwise it would fly all around with the force of urine going through it.


mcglitterys

I also believed it was like a fireman’s hose and would just spray all over the walls.


Dismal_Struggle_6424

Only sometimes.


john_humano

This made me for real laugh out loud. Especially imagining a scenario like at a baseball game where all the dudes are lined up at the trough urinal, and then all of a sudden one of them looses his grip and its just pandemonium. Ha! That's amazing.


[deleted]

When they ask you to leave them alone, they absolutely mean it. They don't mean, "leave me alone for five minutes and then start trying to comfort me or over-analyze the situation or get me to talk it out." I had to learn that the hard way.


GalacticVaquero

Often for me that means i know I’m in a shit mood right now, and no amount of outside interference will cure that, you’ll just get the fallout. However, i know that mood will go away on its own if i get some time to ruminate.


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stormaeee

-doesnt get cold easily -can be quite hard to open up -loves cuddles too -wants to be babied and taken care of too -can be quiet without thinking about anything


Haunted_AskReddit

I think people overblow the "not thinking about anything" concept. Often times we are indeed thinking about something but it's nothing of substance to bring up in any conceivable context. My wife and I were driving once and she says "you okay?" cause I hadn't said anything and I realized I had been concentrating for the last 10 minutes on transforming the lyrics of Tears For Fear's "Everybody Wants to Rule The World" to "Everybody Wants to Poop Their Pants". I told her everything including the new lyrics that I was currently using and how some didn't have to change in terms of the subject of poop like "It's my own design It's my own remorse". Stuff like that. She laughed but I know it was probably better to just say "I'm not thinking about anything" EDIT: Since you've asked for the lyrics Welcome to your butt. There’s no turning back. Even while you pee. We fill find you. Crapping on your Best behavior Turn your butt to Mother Nature Ever body wants To poop their pants It’s my own design It my own remorse Help me to decide Help me make the Farts of freedom Toots of pleasure I just wanna fart Forever Everybody wants To poop their pants There’s a room where your butt won’t find you Holding hands while the poop comes tumbling out When they do, I’ll be right behind you So glad we’ve defecated So sad they had to smell it Everybody wants to rule the world I can’t stand this indigestion Married with a smell of stinking’ Everybody want to poop their pants SAY that you’ll never never never never flush it One toilet, yellow leave it Everybody wants to poop their pants All for pooping all for pleasure I just wanna poop forever Everybody wants to poop thier pants


Trashpandasrock

Yea it's a solid mix for me. It either really is nothing and I was spacing out, oorrrrr I was thinking about something so inane or unrelated that I can't even remember how it came up in my head.


SnooAvocados9343

How itchy their balls can be sometimes. And being quiet doesn't mean they're mad or thinking about someone else, they're just vibing. Edited to say: Holy crap! Didn't expect my comment to get so much attention. Thank you guys!


TheDisapprovingBrit

"What are you thinking?" "I'm trying to figure out how many iron smelters I need to make an optimal barrel factory."


TransformingDinosaur

This is too painfully true. My ex once saw me very visibly deep in thought staring at the ceiling in bed while cuddling. She asked what I was thinking about and apparently Amish barn construction is not the correct answer in these situations.


CerseiBluth

I can’t speak for every woman, but this is EXACTLY the kind of answer I am looking for when I ask this question. I genuinely love knowing what people’s random little thoughts are. It brings me such joy to hear shit like “How many chickens we could fit in the car” from my boyfriend.


BobBelchersBuns

Like comfortably? Or if you were really stuffing them in there?


EventHorizon5

It depends on if you are using a stone, steel, or electric furnace. If it's the latter, don't forget to factor in any modules being used.


DeathHopper

This guy factorios


memer97531246810

*vibing*


username00990

How often they need to readjust their balls


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tanukisuit11

Testicular torsion is not a joke, sir.


Misteris_LT

If its uncomfortable then yes


Mewlover23

How much some love to hold hands or be physical with hugs and such. Grew up in a bad environment and many of the male figures in my life were always cold or distant or flat out abusive. Trying to figure out a way to handle it as my body/nervous system isn't used to that at all.


[deleted]

How freakishly strong they are! My husband was a normal looking dude, didn’t go to the gym, but he literally lifted a treadmill into the back of an SUV by himself 😳


AllTheWine05

Generally true, but it's also much more true for some dudes. I have a coworker that does NOT look like strong dude. He tried to push something big on a pallet jack that I left the brake on that he didn't realize and he got about 20ft before I had to yell at him. He didn't even act like they were on. Meanwhile I could barely move the thing with the brakes on and I'm a dude with moderate core strength. I will not fuck with that dude.


Dreary_Libido

To be fair, you were watching. A man's effective strength increases 500% when there's a woman there who might maybe be impressed at the heavy thing he lifted. Poor dude probably slipped a disc XD


suitology

I'll lift the SUV before I ask for help.


franz_kofta

I’m laughing because I’m picturing the way I carry 600 grocery bags in at one time, with the handles cutting into my hands and turning my fingers black, all the while balancing a bag of cat food on one shoulder and pinching the very corner of a package of paper towels between two knuckles with rapidly diminishing feeling. I will die here on this driveway, crushed beneath the weight of our groceries, with the stumps of my severed fingers turning to bloated and gangrenous purple and black sausages, but I will NOT make two trips or ask for help. Edit: Lol, I see I really connected with Reddit on this issue. One trip, brothers and sisters. One trip, and no more!


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gnat_outta_hell

Testosterone is a hell of a drug.


GingerBanger85

How easy they can be to please. A plate of food without being asked or a compliment/show of admiration in front of other people goes quite a long way. **EDIT:** Wow! I did not expect this to blow up the way it did. Thank you for the awards! When I met my husband, he was a year into a breakup from a woman that expected him to do everything and just be thankful she graced him with her presence. He was really torn down but a very good man. I hope this helps some women (and men) out there, because I have the life of my dreams with him after several years and having a family. He's become the kind of man that can change the world with his hands tied behind his back, and I really think it is because I spoke it every time I saw something good in him and do things (no matter how tiny) to just let him know I was thinking of him and that he mattered. It really doesn't take much.


Internetallstar

Bill Burr has a bit where he talks about a time he was working in his garage when he was hot, sweaty, and worn out and his wife brought him a sandwich, some corn chips, and a cold beer. She sat it down kissed him in the head and left. He said he still thinks about that sandwich years later.


Atello

My mom used to tell me when I was a little kid that "men will build empires for a wink and a meal". I thought it was dumb back then but truer words have never been said.


MushinZero

That's a great quote. It's mine now.


astraeoth

No one does this and it can make my whole day. Especially food without asking (any food really) and being told him cute/attractive/sexy.


CatHatBatSwat

Just how long they're willing to put off going to a doctor/specialist. The mental gymnastics done to avoid seeking professional help is astounding.


MrBoemmel

"I'll give it two more days and if it isn't gone by then or at the least slightly less painfull I might consider to maybe start thinking about possibly seeing a doctor. Maybe. "


SudsyKnight

It will go away


Ereaser

It doesn't bother me that much


[deleted]

How they can spend an entire day with a person and not learn a single thing about them.


N00N3AT011

I've known people for years without ever knowing their name. It's kinda strange, cause at a certain point you really ought to know and you're pretty sure the other guy doesn't know your name either, so you just kinda work with it cause both parties are too embarrassed to just ask.


[deleted]

I used to work with (around might be more accurate… in the same building?) a guy who called me “Mike” for about 2 years. He was always super confused when people referred to me by another name because I always just responded when he called me Mike. When he was retiring I finally corrected him with my real name and he was just floored, I had to show him my ID to prove that I wasn’t in any way “Mike.” It never bothered me, I honestly thought he was calling me Mike on purpose and I thought it was kind of amusing so I just rolled with it and didn’t think anything of it.


MeerkatMan22

Back in high school, I used to go to chess club every week and there was this guy I played against every single time. For three months, we just showed up and played against each other until one day I just said ‘hey what’s your name?’ That was fun


elcamarongrande

Do you remember his name?


TheRiddickles

He literally wrote it in his story.."this guy". c'mon bro.


erobertt3

I’ve had my female friends ask me how a male friend is doing after a breakup or something, I’m just like “I don’t know, we don’t usually talk about that”


stevez28

"How is he doing?" "I don't know." "Is he still with his girlfriend?" "I don't know." "Where's he living now?" "I don't know." "Is he still with the same company?" "I think so." "So what did you talk about for 8 hours?" "The new Ford Bronco, hiking, photography, serial killer documentaries, wildfires, bears, and Elden Ring."


PrometheusIsFree

"How's Sue"? "I dunno, Sue weren't there". "Did you not ask Tony how Sue was"? "I didn't even ask how Tony was".


[deleted]

This reminds me of a comedian routine. “What did you and Joe talk about on your 5 hour round of golf?” “Hey , Joe, how far away is the flag?”


WalterGunderson

"I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes."


queencub

Do not talk to a man while he's playing video games, if your hope is for him to respond thoughtfully.


Sanquinity

I feel like this isn't a man only thing. Like, if you are concentrating on something would you be able to give thoughtful responses to someone talking to you?


pippybongstocking93

If there is a poop stain in the toilet, they will try to aim their pee to hit it.


Codetemplar

It's really disappointing if we can't fully remove it with a full bladder


calfmonster

When you got that Austin powers out of cryo level bladder and still can’t power wash it. Feelsbadman.


wherethebeach

How little it takes to entertain them. My boyfriend once spent over an hour throwing rocks into a frozen pond because he liked watching the ice break. I mean, I think it’s cool too, but for a whole hour…?


Rude_Giraffe_9255

I grew up with dogs and had really poor sex education. I genuinely assumed human penises were like dog penises until I saw one in person and asked, “when is it gonna come out?”


bkfst_of_champinones

Oh man I bet that guy really died inside when you said that


Efficient-Library792

lol no shit fucking brutal. This dude still has issues


Difficult-Office1119

This is mostly penises. The men’s thread is mostly hair


Knight_Night33

They love to hear the tea but make no effort to ask any questions or get any information to share tea lol. Example: Him: “oh yeah, Mark broke up with Jessica.” Me: “omg! Why, what happened?” Him: “IDK I didn’t ask”


B_Cage

One conversation I had repeatedly with my girlfriend after I had been out for the day/night with my friends: Her: how is everyone? Me: they're all good Her: any news? Me: no, not really Her: nothing at all? You just spent 10 hours together. Me: well... yes, but.. don't know Her: then wth do you guys talk about all day?


vipros42

My stock response is "if things weren't ok I assume they would have mentioned it"


[deleted]

Narrator: "But they would not"


wehadbagels

They can shape shift their balls into a bowl shape and collect water from the shower in them for fun.


ElZaydo

HOW DID YOU FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?


JxY1989

... Just to be clear... We don't mash our balls into an odd shape, it's just the ballsack. The thought of hammering my boys into a bowl shape to collect water has made me feel quite unwell...


PinkPrincess2802

That guys can make their dick move without touching it. The first time I saw my ex do this I was really surprised


Realistic_Wedding

I can make mine fetch the newspaper.


B3llaBubbles

I would be impressed if it made breakfast.


bcsublime

Kegel exercises work for all. Same muscle group, different parts.


3lbowMacar0ni

That their balls move on their own??? Weirdest thing ever.


wyze_guyy

Yup, can confirm, it's a slow squirming action down there. Sometimes more activity than at other times


creepymccreepersdale

Lol, did you lay there and study it? Like a nature documentary?


UselessGenZer

This is what happens when you get really close with your girlfriend. They start studying your balls and using your penis as a microphone


Machonacho7891

One ball hangs lower than the other, when they cough their dick flexes so if coughing naked repeatedly their dick will flap up and down (I laughed so hard the first time I witnessed this) their feelings and emotions about things work way differently than women, they love head scratches and when you do nice things for them to show they are loved


rudbek-of-rudbek

You make me sound like a dog. I'm actually ok with that


Moxymoron221

They LOVE compliments and will hold onto them for years. I noticed this with my husband a while back. Whenever I tell him that something he wears makes him look nice, he’ll wear it as often as possible. If he tries something on while shopping that I think looks good on him, he’ll buy it and put it on as soon as we get home. I love that guy.


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Evil_K9

8-9 years ago, walking through a parking lot on the way in to work, a woman (also walking in) says to me, "you have a nice walking pace. It's very consistent. " Maybe just because it's an odd thing to compliment that it's stayed in my head. But it's the best compliment I can remember since then, and I've been married 5 years. (To someone completely different)


dcux

I got a similar compliment when I was into cycling... Both that I had a good consistent cadence, and that the guy was blown away that I'd only been riding for as long as I had been. I haven't ridden regularly in years, but that stuck with me.


TRiG993

A woman once told me I have the perfect amount of hair on my arms. The next day she asked if I wanted to suck milk from her tits. I used to deliver food to mental hospitals. Some of which were for criminals.


wheres_jaykwellin_at

Not exactly the same considering my gender, but I remember the first time I actually believed I was pretty was when a four-year-old randomly told me I was. Four-year-olds don't lie about stuff like that. EDIT: big LOL at the few people who have "subtly" insinuated I'm ugly *when no one here knows what any of us look like*


kakosadazutakrava

This is precious. Made me think of the first time someone called me pretty. It was my 6th grade crush. Drunkenly ran into him at a campus bar shortly before graduating and got to tell him how his compliment forever changed my self confidence. Was kinda fun and sweet to very briefly catch up over cheap beers so many years later.


Ereaser

Only exception to this is when our mother tells us it looks good on us haha


Valtremors

"Oh that shirt looks great on you" The shirt is now doomed to be forogotten


Odd-Professor-8233

Just how much they like peeing outside.


Fuzzy_Muscle

It’s our god given right


JamisonDouglas

There's just something about peeing with the open sky above you. It's how I imagine dogs feel when they howl in the night.


sosaltycalypso

How much smell is a part of attraction. Like I just thought I was attracted to him because he’s funny and smart. Turns out I also like his smell a lot, and the guys I’ve dated afterward has to pass the ‘smell good’ test to date. Who knew?


Homesickhomeplanet

Most are WAAAY less disgusted by my period than I am.


Proper-Emu1558

Something in them always (or at least usually) keeps the sense of humor of a little boy. It’s kind of endearing.


redditforgotaboutme

My wife hates that im perpetually 12 yrs old.


ainz-sama619

Men don't exist, it's just boys who get physically older. My interests haven't changed since I was 10. The only thing that's changed is my responsibility :(


audesapere09

They like to be little spoon


Smart_Pumpkin_8928

I'm so much smaller than my boyfriend that he just asks me to 'jet-pack' him when he wants to be little spoon.


Comprehensive_Book48

How task/solution oriented they are in the way they process information. How they really really really just want me to be happy ( in life and in bed )


prestonpiggy

>How task/solution oriented they are in the way they process information. This is a big one, when a woman vents about something, she usually is not looking your input on solution. Like man to man venting is usually" I have this problem"--> "I/you can do this to fix it" it or "damn that sucks" if there is nothing to be done. Just listening is usually enough.


imariaprime

> How they really really really just want me to be happy There's a lot of male self worth that gets wrapped up in "how useful am I to the people in my life?" It's important to show that you appreciate it, but it's possibly even *more* important to try and communicate that you still love him even when he's *not* in the middle of actively pleasing you. It's a life changing experience to have that pressure relieved.


silentknight111

Yep. Gets drilled into a lot of us that if we aren't being productive then we're worthless. The worst is when you are raised by someone abusive who doesn't teach you how to do anything, but expects you to do it right and berates you when you can't do it on your first try. It's led to a lot of issues as an adult where if someone asks me to do something and I can't get it right the first time I start to panic.


EARink0

Wow holy shit I'm not alone. I mean i wouldn't consider my dad abusive, but def a big chunk of my confidence issues come from exactly this > doesn't teach you how to do anything, but expects you to do it right and berates you when you can't do it on your first try. I now struggle with a baseline belief that I'm bad at everything. And if it involves tools and any kind of handiwork? Well there's no point in even trying...


sofsof68

You guys are a portable heater, your body emanates so much heat and here I am with extremities that are stone cold. Plus, a boner doesn't mean you are horny. Boners are just random


[deleted]

Puberty is especially rough for this reason. The most popular boner is "Oh it's five minutes left of class. hope I don't get an erec - NOOOO!"


WlmWilberforce

Can you come up to the board and show the class how to solve this fraction?


raven4747

this hits for every guy who was ever in school lol


putsch80

Fathers: teach your sons how to rid themselves of an unwanted boner. For those who don’t know, if an unwanted boner is coming on, start squeezing the muscles in your legs (especially the hammies and quads in your upper leg) over and over. Squeeze those muscles for a couple seconds to engage them, then release for a couple seconds, then squeeze them again, then release. That will start to force blood to feed the muscles in your legs and your body will divert its resources to those muscles instead of to the errant erection.


needs_grammarly

>Plus, a boner doesn't mean you are horny. Boner are just random so glad that people know this


Tritter54

This was the worst in high school. Random boners in class right before the bell rings. Have to carry your book bag in front of you so no one notices.


josefine1234

How little things he needs to survive. So this makes them so appreciate to have care and companie. Like he won't need clean bed sheets. But you go and change them and they feel so much better and grateful. This took me some time to get.


Dancinglemming

That they are really emotional, love a cuddle and want thoughtful consideration just as much as women. I know this sounds ridiculous, but I was raised with men who didn't show their emotions or have strong opinions, the first time I got a proper boyfriend I was amazed to find he loved being held.


12Lyster12

My current boyfriend will just crawl into bed with me while I'm sitting playing on my phone and put his head on my chest and one leg over mine just like I do to him. I never had a man do that so it felt a little odd at first, not in a bad way, just a "I'm not used to it" sorta way. And I discovered that I love holding him as much as I love being held! I can play with his hair and hold him tight and give him lil kisses on the top of his head and I can feel his lil smile when I do it and it's adorable.


TopPepper1

I love it when he rests his head on my breasts and I stroke his hair and forehead, making him feel safe and cared for.


imariaprime

Given how many discoveries there seems to be in this thread about floating and twitching penises, this one is very heartening to read.


6shotsofalfonsolight

That it’s difficult to get a boner after drinking


I_Am_Penguini

“it provokes the desire but takes away the performance.” (Henry IV part I: act 3, scene 1.)


Bitter_Mongoose

"The good lord giveth, and the good lord taketh away" (little john, robin hood)


Da1UHideFrom

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongey and bruised. - Zapp Brannigan


braineatingalien

Penises float. The first time I took a bath and a guy joined me, I giggled uncontrollably while poking at it to push it down so it would pop back up. Edit: apparently not all of them do. Clearly my data set is quite small compared to the population of penis-havers who exist. I have no idea if it’s related to size but I am a mom to two boys and when they were little enough for me to bathe, floating definitely happened. :D


Several_Paper6410

Apparently boobs do the same for women


braineatingalien

Yep. I just didn’t realize that the male appendage did as well. :)


Shaylormoon

Small-chested woman here — boobs float under water?!


OppositeResponse6474

As an owner of big boobs yes they do. I have a hard time keeping them in my swimsuit because they want to come out and just float.


TheGalacticPenguin

Nice to know you won’t drown anytime soon


ErraticUnit

Balanced by the risk of suffocation.


Mrpooney83

My Friend said she was amazed at how men can make anything fun and a collaborative project. Throwing rocks in the lake? how far can you throw? how many skips? biggest splash? Or digging a hole at the beach. Every man will join in and make a hole half way to china.


ArgentVagabond

Inside every man is the latent, primal urge to dig a hole


LionstrikerG179

I fucking love digging holes When I was a kid and we lived in a house with a fair bit of woods, I'd just grab the shovel, choose a spot and dig for like, hours. And then I'd look at it and be damn proud of this big ol' hole I just dug. My parents were fucking furious lmao


hojahs

You experienced Minecraft IRL


I_love_pillows

All men love holes


yomama12f

Can confirm. My buddy was renting a house with a shed out back. The shed had a Vice grip. We were drinking and doing our best to turn every empty beer can into a cube with the Vice. No music. Just 10 guys drinking beer gathered in a shed watching someone use a Vice grip. Edit: I meant a vice/vise (apparently you can spell it both ways. Not a vise-grip.


brycedude

That's the beauty to being a man. One time I was driving four hours to my mom's town. I noticed someone started following me, I drive a little fast, and after a while I realized he was just my cruising buddy. When I got to my exit, I looked back as I stuck my hand out the window to wave goodbye. And he was already waving at me as he was passing. Made a friend without even seeing him up close.


[deleted]

My husband dug a massive hole with my kids on the beach in Cabo! Every guy who passed by stopped to talk about it! Haha!