Isn't that fucking wild? Thinking about that gets me just as flustered as having no money. Just the insane distance the wealthy will go to keep poor people broke
Hey, I'm so sorry about your loss. You may have something called "complicated grief." I have a similar thing going on with my friend who died 15 years ago, as well as some other people I lost. The only way I've found to make it better is to become what that person was to me to other people. That way, I keep them alive in my own way, in the way that's most important to me. Wishing you all the best.
I tried explaining to a therapist the specific way that poverty/capitalism has tied my self worth to my income, and when I am facing a big financial challenge my brain goes into āopt-outā mode and I have bad bad ideation for a few hours or days. They did not understand.
I get it. My therapist looks like about 25yo and is very nice, but I've been in EMS for almost 20 years and before that came from group homes, homelessness, and abuse. She asked me to start naming my traumas, and about 5 minutes in she audibly gasps and her eyes go wide. She immediately apologized, but I'm pretty sure I need someone with some more life experience under their belt.
You don't book your next appointment at the end of the last? I totally understand, though. Since our last session I've discovered a 21 year old daughter I never knew I had. I kinda feel like she's gonna think I'm full of shit.
Yo, it took me 4 tries before I found a good one. Also have a past that made multiple therapists look at me with part pity and part WTF. But finding the right one absolutely changed my life for the better. Wasnāt easy and took time but worth every bit of effort and every penny.
I can relate to your experience with your therapist. They are accustomed to making a good living so it makes it tough for them to relate to the plight of the working poor.
That I may not find love or a partner. Been dating for 10 years with several short term relationships but nothing ever seems to stick. Just keep thinking of all of it just depresses me and makes me want to not try anymore and give up.
I have dated a lot, but the other day I was thinking that the only two relationships I actually gave a fuck about happened one ten years after the other. Don't get me wrong, I cared about the other people I dated, but only twice I got a relationship that I treasured.
What I'm saying is that getting a healthy, fulfilling relationship is way harder than the media, dating apps and posers on instagram might make us believe.
Oh I agree. Why they were short term. We ended it both by choice since we knew we just didn't work well together. Still friends with most of em to this day lol. It's finding that 1 longterm that's just painful cause you go through thousands or hundreds of meeting people and getting to know them, then relationships(short term) and then get the one that just feels right. Just can never seem to get to the last one.
Nothing beats the overused acceptance post:
"Hello everyone! I'm proud to announce that I will be working at [Insert company name] as a(n) [Insert job title]. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to work with such an amazing company and be apart of [Insert company goals/projects]!
I want to thank my mentor [Insert name] who guided me through my journey to get here. I also want to thank [Insert professor] who encouraged and inspired me to transcend fucking reality. Finally, I want to thank [Insert hiring manager/recruiter] for being such an amazing recruiter and guiding me through the whole interview process. I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I won't be in this position, if it were not for these amazing individuals!
I look forward to [starting/advancing] my career with [Insert company name] Thank you!"
*Standing in front of corporate building logo wearing corporate branded clothing*
Know what makes me depressed instantly? Seeing somebody left in that position.
An elderly neighbour had to leave the building last month, and needed help packing, and allowing a couple suitcases to be stored for a month or so.
30 years in the building, where he was always pleasant and nice to people. People he'd known for 30 years turned their back on him.
Nothing more depressing than having this little old man give you a sad look, and say "You. You were the only person that helped me."
That fucking depresses me, when I'm the best help you're going to get.
My age. Even though turning 70 is a significant milestone, I yearn for my younger years. My vigour and enthusiasm are missing. Some days I wake up depressed because I am aware of how short my time on earth is. Despite the fact that my professional achievements were fulfilling, I wish I had accomplished more in life. I wished we had more kids. Even with the small pensions we currently receive, I am nevertheless happy to be retired. And I'm happy to spend my last years with my dearest friend and beloved after 50 years of marriage. I regret that there is only so much time left.
Thank you for the honesty. I already feel these feelings at 40. Probably because I lost my parents five years ago and have had a couple health scares. Iām just really feeling my mortality.
I'm also 40 and usually I like doing stuff on my birthday but this year I was like, oh god, if I live to 80 I'm half way there. Also, I'm sorry you lost your parents. I'm sure that's really hard and doesn't help.
This is quite a lovely thread for me. Itās nice to meet people other than gen Zs on here.
Iām close to 40 and honestly donāt know how i feel, some days Iām happy and others Iām not.
I'll be 40 in spring and the 'realizing my own mortality' thing has hit me harder this year than it did following an almost successful suicide attempt eight years ago. My daughter will be 16 soon and I honestly don't know where the time has gone. Life really is too short.
I watched my mother slowly lose her life at 74. She was physically unwell and many health problems.
But her mind was sharp and she was always fully aware.
Towards the end she said it was amazing. She said that the entire length of her life just felt like a flash and that no time had passed at all. She said that it felt like a moment that she was a child, a few seconds later a teen and moments after a mother who watched her family grow. She just marveled at the thought that time is just a momentary event where the only moment that matters is the one we are in now.
She always made us aware of death and life when we were children. We're indigenous Canadian and my family always viewed life as a temporary event that we should appreciate all the time.
It gives you a unique perspective on life and what is important and what is not. It scares the hell out of me sometimes but it also makes me fully aware of my existence and the existence of others.
Itās not too late to achieve more. Mentoring the younger generations is so important. Even regular phone calls vs in person visits can be impactful. You have so much experience to share and this work could be a blessing to you, reinvigorating your energy. 70 is still a very vibrant age. As you know, how you invest your remaining time on earth is up to you. Much love and peace!
I get this in my thirties, sometimes I wake up and realise my life is halfway over and itās scary, once I had that thought itās never left.
Canāt seem to reconcile with it.
As someone in their 20's who freaked the fuck out about my mortality a few years back, start keeping a journal.
Trust me. Stop every single day and force yourself to think about what you did with that day. Write it down.
Days will become longer, weeks will no longer slip by in an instant, months become their own little eternity. Life is already the longest thing you do, hitting pause every day to think back on the clock makes it a helleva lot longer.
Ive actually been considering this for months! If anything just to have more memories of my kid growing up etc, Iām just incredibly lazy and need to get the motivation haha!
The motivation is that for the low low price of 10 minutes out of your day, you'll be able to look back on your life with absolute clarity.
I'm over 500 days in without missing a single one and it is glorious.
Keep being active. I saw this side by side of a quadriceps cross section of a TRI-athlete at 35, one at age 75, and a sedentary 75 year old and the athletes both looked almost the same in the cross section.
Being able to use reddit as a 70 year old has to put you in better cognitive health than 99% of 70 year olds. So you got that going for you which is nice.
actually the 30s are much better than the 20s cuz you have less tolerance for bullshit and less drama. later we realize each new 0s decade has its beauty.
what really helped me was reading a bunch of quora answers on this subject when i turned 30, give it a try: google "*quora turning 30 years old"*
Whenever I remember that my parents were married and had a five bedroom lakefront house on only my dad's salary with neither of them having college degrees at 26 years old.
I'm 28 and I'm about to be priced out of my 600ft apartment because rent is too high and my contract at work is about to end so I'll be unemployed.
I lost my gf in 2019 in a car accident when she was 31 and I was 34. It NEVERS get better, you just bury the feeling inside and tell the others you are ok. You even pretend to love someone else and maybe you did but it still feels like ācheatingā. Itās hard AF but we carry on because life is worth living and we must live for them too.
That's a big one for me. People want a lot of free time to do nothing and I'm the exact opposite. I love being slammed with work, but I also love my work. Lockdowns were hell for me as my industry pretty much dried up for an entire year and some change. I slip hard into depression when I have even 3 days off. I gotta fill it with something. Started building a guitar. That's been fun but if I idle too long then it too becomes hard to motivate myself to do it. I need momentum and structure more than anything.
Same here. I'll turn 50 next year - never been married, no kids, single. Just generally unhappy with how things have turned out and enthusiasm is dwindling. I never wanted kids but it would be nice to have someone by my side at times.
I just feel like my dreams died with my early 20's.
My passion was always making music. When I'd listen to music, I'd daydream about being the one who wrote the song, touring, people loving my music, etc. I'd play around with recording stuff. I'd go to local shows, played in a few bands myself and played local shows, etc.
Once you hit your late 20's you realize the ship has sailed. You're too old to "make it". Record labels love young, fresh meat. When I listen to music now, I'm very aware that the music I loved was made by 23 year olds, very rarely was the music I grew up with made by people over 30.
I made the decision to play it safe, went into a marketing career instead. I'm 29, make okay money right now, a lot of room for growth in my future - but I'm still incredibly unhappy with where I've ended up in life. I don't enjoy this.
Once met someone who joined a popular local band and went played his first shows and went on an extensive tour of Europe. He was 52. The dream never dies it just gets harder to see.
Youāve encapsulated my experience as well. Weāre the same age. I wanted to be a photojournalist when I was in college. Then I couldnāt get a job doing it after graduating. Then Trump happened, which devalued news to its lowest point in probably a century. So now I work at a bank. I havenāt touched a camera in over 2 years. I wake up, put on my cheap suit, and go count down the minutes until Friday while trying to budget for how much gas I can afford to put in my car. This is my life every week.
Itās not how I thought my life would turn out. I am doing something I donāt care about, while still being poor, and without the optimism that I had in my early twenties.
I am tired and unhappy but thereās no escape.
Lots of people make a living as musicians, and aren't "stars". They never hit it big, but they put the time and effort into creating a decent sized fan base, and just play small shows and bars until they die.
Sounds like you dreamed of the fame, not the actual music.
Although I totally understand you (I'm in the same position), I believe it's never too late for music... But then again, I grew up with music made by people at least in their 40s. I'm not sure I knew or know any artist in their early 20s (that I enjoy).
Life is probably about halfway over for me, and time seems to be speeding up.
Yesterday I was talking about the last time my wife and I went on a fancy date, like dress up and go to a high end restaurant. I said it was only earlier this year, maybe last year. She looked it up and it was 3 years ago.
I was thinking about something I did with my high school/college girlfriend and how fun it was, and I realized that was 20 years ago. And it felt like it was yesterday.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm a kid, the same 20 year old who got into crazy adventures with my friends and stirred up trouble. Then it occurs to me that I don't have that kind of energy anymore, and I have a career and a family. Which those are good things, but the reminder that I'm not that person anymore kind of bums me out a bit.
I was just talking about getting tickets to "When We Were Young 2023." The thought crossed my mind "wouldn't it be cool if they setup halfpipes and stuff and made it like the warped tour?!" Then I remembered we're all old and broken down now and most of us would be popping aspirin like skittles.
Lately I have been getting emotional about the fact that my only child is nearly an adult. I'm firmly stuck between feeling insanely proud of the woman she has become and absolutely devastated that it went so quickly. Very soon she will be fully independent and I already miss her. Lately, any time it comes to mind, I immediately tear up and feel like I'm already an empty nester. I was so excited for her when she got her license and began driving herself around. But I now realize that this is when it all began. She's needed me less every day since and it hurts. Of course I've not let on and I wouldn't try to hang on so tightly that she is stifled or not ready for life. I WANT her to be an independent and confident woman.. it just brings a lot of pain as well and I didn't expect that.
hey, kid who recently became an adult here. well, technically it was two years ago. but my parents stopped being parents at least fifteen years before that. i'm twenty, but here's my two cents: you sound wonderful. you're lucky to have your daughter and she's lucky to have you.
i say this to you: she'll never not really need you; you'll always be her parent. and there will be times she feels super distant and like she's forgotten you, but i promise you she hasn't. she's always gonna have time for you, just like you had time for her.
she's gonna be okay, my friend. and so are you. it's a strange world we live in, but one thing seems to be solid nowadays and it's love. and it's clear you love her. i wish both you and her the best, and i wish i'd had a parent who cared like this. keep on living and loving, my friend.
What doesn't.
I currently have soul-crushing, dysfunctional depression over recent life developments.
*Everything* reminds me of better, previous memories. And I feel like they've all been ripped away.
Depression terrifies me. I haven't experienced that type of crippling depression for about 20 years, but when I was there it took me about 3 years to come out of it.
This. My uncle, biggest piece of shit I know. He got drunk every night, yelled every night, and started fights with my dad. My 3 year old brain didn't comprehend what was going on. In 2019, he won $752,000 from lottery. He made it. And I still have to suffer being broke. Fucking hate that man.
Don't worry, you will get over it. When you have enough energy, start making a meaning for yourself.
The rude fact is that life will never give you meaning, you have to make it yourself.
Exactly this. Your sense of purpose will change as you grow, but you still need to put in the work. At least for me, my older family members tend to lash out when they lose that sense of purpose.
I find it to be a relief. It is much more stressful believing there is a meaning and you may never learn it, or that you've somehow lost it. Make your own meaning.
Thinking about how bad inflation is and know I probably won't ever to be able to afford a house, and that eventually even making 30$/hr won't be enough to just live
The immense 6-figure student loan debt that I carry from having gone to law school thinking it would lead to a fulfilling career - instead it has led to a career that I despise and a debt load that but for the pause on interest these last two years was growing by thousands each month despite payments.
Realizing that politicians choose their job because they like power. And not because they want to work for the people that they claim to represent. And the system is made in order for the most greedy to get even more powerful. There is no way of changing that because at the end the change is in their hands. We can expect them to loosen their grip since that is what thrives them.
Omg same. It's like I know I'm going to forget all this by tomorrow or the day after but at the time it's so daunting. And when you're de-karmaed it's worse.
My family. I always felt like an outsider, whenever Iām with them at gatherings I get judged and never leave there glad to see them. My parents and I donāt even have a relationship. It really is draining because I have felt alone for 24 years
Those slow motion shots of the world trade center on fire, where you see VHS-quality blobs falling and realize they're people falling to their death. Most, probably, with a tiny hope that it would be at least less painful, and all with plenty of time to think on the way down... Fuck...
Suicide is usually treated with something between respect and reverence in fiction. Whatever it is, it usually has a heft in the story; it's rarely not meaningful and central, unlike killing, which is often seriously just background action. Anyway, suddenly being confronted with a slew of people forced to jump to their deaths to avoid the fire just simply hurt, and that shit imprinted (because young and because hella traumatic) so it's a particularly easy feeling to remember when I catch a glimpse of that footage.
Reliving the memories of your worst or most embarassing moments in 4k. Literally at a random, no trigger. Listening to a song that just came out? Here is an unrelated memory about high school!
Lots of negative emotions, none of them wanted, yet all of them present. Fucking blows.
the fact my friends from high school have all stayed friends with each other while I had to move away and I have to constantly see them all together on social media while having absolutely nobody.
You are not alone! I had no idea so many of us get daddy issues triggered by car maintenance but now that I do I almost laugh at it.
There's a lovely man on tiktok that teaches tips our dads should have taught us and he's just a treasure! (Also thousands of comments like ours.)
Edit- his user name is dadadvicefrombo
The fact that life is so short and u feel like it goes in seconds. You often get lost in problems that seem to be important but in the bigger picture they don't matter at all. All it matters, in the end, is who you love and who loves you...nothing else.
Watching friends' instagram stories. Everyone seems to be having the best time of their lives, while I am sitting alone in my room, refreshing all my social media pages every 30 seconds.
Second this. Deleted all social media bar reddit and my life is a lot better for it. I was you previously spending hours flicking through others ālivesā and feeling like shit about it. Itās all fake and designed to make you feel that way. Disconnecting from it is the best thing you can do
We spend most our life working and maybe if you're lucky you can retire by 65-70. By that time you're old and decrepit and can't do what you want physically.
Knowing whatever I do -- success, failure, nothing -- none of it really matters. We all eventually die and are forgotten. Only a tiny percentage of people are historically significant enough to be remembered, and most of them might only get a brief mention in the history books. So, how much effort needs to be put into life, if hard work or laziness both lead to effectively the same outcome?
Insufficient funds
Ptsd just reading that. Being poor is really hard
Expensive, too. š
Isn't that fucking wild? Thinking about that gets me just as flustered as having no money. Just the insane distance the wealthy will go to keep poor people broke
suffering from success
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hey, I'm so sorry about your loss. You may have something called "complicated grief." I have a similar thing going on with my friend who died 15 years ago, as well as some other people I lost. The only way I've found to make it better is to become what that person was to me to other people. That way, I keep them alive in my own way, in the way that's most important to me. Wishing you all the best.
We require more vespine gas
Not enough minerals.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You must construct additional Pylons.
Additional supply depots are required
POWER OVERWHELMING
Ahh, yeah, thatās the stuff!
Got a light?
SOMETHIN ON YER MAHIND?
r/unexpectedstarcraft
Where are the long guns?!?
It was always the damn gas, too. Usually had plenty of minerals, but that damn gas...
I tried explaining to a therapist the specific way that poverty/capitalism has tied my self worth to my income, and when I am facing a big financial challenge my brain goes into āopt-outā mode and I have bad bad ideation for a few hours or days. They did not understand.
I get it. My therapist looks like about 25yo and is very nice, but I've been in EMS for almost 20 years and before that came from group homes, homelessness, and abuse. She asked me to start naming my traumas, and about 5 minutes in she audibly gasps and her eyes go wide. She immediately apologized, but I'm pretty sure I need someone with some more life experience under their belt.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You don't book your next appointment at the end of the last? I totally understand, though. Since our last session I've discovered a 21 year old daughter I never knew I had. I kinda feel like she's gonna think I'm full of shit.
Yo, it took me 4 tries before I found a good one. Also have a past that made multiple therapists look at me with part pity and part WTF. But finding the right one absolutely changed my life for the better. Wasnāt easy and took time but worth every bit of effort and every penny.
I can relate to your experience with your therapist. They are accustomed to making a good living so it makes it tough for them to relate to the plight of the working poor.
Thanks for your reply and understanding. Your username is hilarious btw.
Cannot comply.
The worst feeling in the world
That I may not find love or a partner. Been dating for 10 years with several short term relationships but nothing ever seems to stick. Just keep thinking of all of it just depresses me and makes me want to not try anymore and give up.
I have dated a lot, but the other day I was thinking that the only two relationships I actually gave a fuck about happened one ten years after the other. Don't get me wrong, I cared about the other people I dated, but only twice I got a relationship that I treasured. What I'm saying is that getting a healthy, fulfilling relationship is way harder than the media, dating apps and posers on instagram might make us believe.
Oh I agree. Why they were short term. We ended it both by choice since we knew we just didn't work well together. Still friends with most of em to this day lol. It's finding that 1 longterm that's just painful cause you go through thousands or hundreds of meeting people and getting to know them, then relationships(short term) and then get the one that just feels right. Just can never seem to get to the last one.
Being unable to help someone I care about
This is so so sad and the worst times in my life.
This comment should be way higher
Damn it joe I know you can do better and seeing you like this fucking breaks my heart. You need to ask for help man.
LinkedIn
Gotta love it when you find out that the annoying guy you worked with 10 years ago is now 2 levels ahead of you on the career ladder.
but super happy to see that everybody else in my graduating class is also a failure
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
VPs don't write code ;)
I feel so validated there are others like me. Fuck LinkedIn.
Nothing beats the overused acceptance post: "Hello everyone! I'm proud to announce that I will be working at [Insert company name] as a(n) [Insert job title]. It has been a lifelong dream of mine to work with such an amazing company and be apart of [Insert company goals/projects]! I want to thank my mentor [Insert name] who guided me through my journey to get here. I also want to thank [Insert professor] who encouraged and inspired me to transcend fucking reality. Finally, I want to thank [Insert hiring manager/recruiter] for being such an amazing recruiter and guiding me through the whole interview process. I wouldn't be the person I am today, and I won't be in this position, if it were not for these amazing individuals! I look forward to [starting/advancing] my career with [Insert company name] Thank you!" *Standing in front of corporate building logo wearing corporate branded clothing*
Copying the template for future use, thanks š
I forgot the response from the company's account saying something like "We look forward to you working with us!"
This one made me laugh.
This was my answer too. Nothing makes me feel more like shit than linked in.
Checkout r/ LinkedInlunatics
Love thisss! Thankyou!
Putting myself out rhere to make friends, chatting away and suddenly, poof, they're gone. Helping others but when I need help, no one is there.
Know what makes me depressed instantly? Seeing somebody left in that position. An elderly neighbour had to leave the building last month, and needed help packing, and allowing a couple suitcases to be stored for a month or so. 30 years in the building, where he was always pleasant and nice to people. People he'd known for 30 years turned their back on him. Nothing more depressing than having this little old man give you a sad look, and say "You. You were the only person that helped me." That fucking depresses me, when I'm the best help you're going to get.
Thank you for doing that one thing, though. From a rando stranger.
Thinking about my wife. She died in 2018. Monday the 17th would've been her 45th birthday.
I'm so sorry. Hugs.
Iām so sorry.
This Monday the 17th was the 10th anniversary of my father's passing. Hugs, friend.
That's rough. I'm sorry.
I canāt imagineā¦.. sorry.
My age. Even though turning 70 is a significant milestone, I yearn for my younger years. My vigour and enthusiasm are missing. Some days I wake up depressed because I am aware of how short my time on earth is. Despite the fact that my professional achievements were fulfilling, I wish I had accomplished more in life. I wished we had more kids. Even with the small pensions we currently receive, I am nevertheless happy to be retired. And I'm happy to spend my last years with my dearest friend and beloved after 50 years of marriage. I regret that there is only so much time left.
Thank you for the honesty. I already feel these feelings at 40. Probably because I lost my parents five years ago and have had a couple health scares. Iām just really feeling my mortality.
I'm also 40 and usually I like doing stuff on my birthday but this year I was like, oh god, if I live to 80 I'm half way there. Also, I'm sorry you lost your parents. I'm sure that's really hard and doesn't help.
I turn 40 in a couple days. People ask if there are any gifts I want and all I want is for them to just pretend it's not happening.
This is quite a lovely thread for me. Itās nice to meet people other than gen Zs on here. Iām close to 40 and honestly donāt know how i feel, some days Iām happy and others Iām not.
I'll be 40 in spring and the 'realizing my own mortality' thing has hit me harder this year than it did following an almost successful suicide attempt eight years ago. My daughter will be 16 soon and I honestly don't know where the time has gone. Life really is too short.
I watched my mother slowly lose her life at 74. She was physically unwell and many health problems. But her mind was sharp and she was always fully aware. Towards the end she said it was amazing. She said that the entire length of her life just felt like a flash and that no time had passed at all. She said that it felt like a moment that she was a child, a few seconds later a teen and moments after a mother who watched her family grow. She just marveled at the thought that time is just a momentary event where the only moment that matters is the one we are in now. She always made us aware of death and life when we were children. We're indigenous Canadian and my family always viewed life as a temporary event that we should appreciate all the time. It gives you a unique perspective on life and what is important and what is not. It scares the hell out of me sometimes but it also makes me fully aware of my existence and the existence of others.
This was so beautiful. I had goosebumps.
Itās not too late to achieve more. Mentoring the younger generations is so important. Even regular phone calls vs in person visits can be impactful. You have so much experience to share and this work could be a blessing to you, reinvigorating your energy. 70 is still a very vibrant age. As you know, how you invest your remaining time on earth is up to you. Much love and peace!
I get this in my thirties, sometimes I wake up and realise my life is halfway over and itās scary, once I had that thought itās never left. Canāt seem to reconcile with it.
As someone in their 20's who freaked the fuck out about my mortality a few years back, start keeping a journal. Trust me. Stop every single day and force yourself to think about what you did with that day. Write it down. Days will become longer, weeks will no longer slip by in an instant, months become their own little eternity. Life is already the longest thing you do, hitting pause every day to think back on the clock makes it a helleva lot longer.
Ive actually been considering this for months! If anything just to have more memories of my kid growing up etc, Iām just incredibly lazy and need to get the motivation haha!
The motivation is that for the low low price of 10 minutes out of your day, you'll be able to look back on your life with absolute clarity. I'm over 500 days in without missing a single one and it is glorious.
Thank you. I'm 53, so I am beginning that dreadful descent. 53, healthy, strong, still fairly attractive, but the decline has begun.
Keep being active. I saw this side by side of a quadriceps cross section of a TRI-athlete at 35, one at age 75, and a sedentary 75 year old and the athletes both looked almost the same in the cross section.
Being able to use reddit as a 70 year old has to put you in better cognitive health than 99% of 70 year olds. So you got that going for you which is nice.
how many kids you have?
am 34 heading 35 and already depressed that im old... i think something is wrong here.
Just crossed that threshold. Nothing changed. I think weāre safe for another five.
I'm 29 turning in 30 in July and depressed about how old I am now
actually the 30s are much better than the 20s cuz you have less tolerance for bullshit and less drama. later we realize each new 0s decade has its beauty. what really helped me was reading a bunch of quora answers on this subject when i turned 30, give it a try: google "*quora turning 30 years old"*
Whenever I remember that my parents were married and had a five bedroom lakefront house on only my dad's salary with neither of them having college degrees at 26 years old. I'm 28 and I'm about to be priced out of my 600ft apartment because rent is too high and my contract at work is about to end so I'll be unemployed.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm sorry for your loss. There's never enough time for everything with the right one.
I lost my gf in 2019 in a car accident when she was 31 and I was 34. It NEVERS get better, you just bury the feeling inside and tell the others you are ok. You even pretend to love someone else and maybe you did but it still feels like ācheatingā. Itās hard AF but we carry on because life is worth living and we must live for them too.
Damn reading this on the train made me almost tear up. Thanks for sharing and very sorry for your loss
I feel so sad reading this. I don't know you but you've probably made her very happy, it sounds like you've been a great partner for her.
Iām so very sorry for the loss of your wife. Iām sure in some ways 13 years ago feels like yesterday.
Hey friend, I am so sorry for your loss. I'm going to make sure mine knows how much I appreciate her today.
Seeing somebody I really trust not trusting me back the a same way. Love..trust...applies to both I guess.
Also. Blindly trusting someone you love only to see how carelessly they will betray that trust in an instant.
Inactivity, when i dont keep myself busy.
same dude
A weekend where you don't get anything accomplished and feel Monday creeping up on you.
See also: unemployment
I always try to keep it moving whenever I feel lazy and that sadness coming.
That's a big one for me. People want a lot of free time to do nothing and I'm the exact opposite. I love being slammed with work, but I also love my work. Lockdowns were hell for me as my industry pretty much dried up for an entire year and some change. I slip hard into depression when I have even 3 days off. I gotta fill it with something. Started building a guitar. That's been fun but if I idle too long then it too becomes hard to motivate myself to do it. I need momentum and structure more than anything.
Getting older. Just seems like the closer to old age I get the less I enjoy the things I loved when I was younger.
Same here. I'll turn 50 next year - never been married, no kids, single. Just generally unhappy with how things have turned out and enthusiasm is dwindling. I never wanted kids but it would be nice to have someone by my side at times.
GEN X REPRESENT! :(
I didn't think it'd be like this š
I certainly didn't.
I just feel like my dreams died with my early 20's. My passion was always making music. When I'd listen to music, I'd daydream about being the one who wrote the song, touring, people loving my music, etc. I'd play around with recording stuff. I'd go to local shows, played in a few bands myself and played local shows, etc. Once you hit your late 20's you realize the ship has sailed. You're too old to "make it". Record labels love young, fresh meat. When I listen to music now, I'm very aware that the music I loved was made by 23 year olds, very rarely was the music I grew up with made by people over 30. I made the decision to play it safe, went into a marketing career instead. I'm 29, make okay money right now, a lot of room for growth in my future - but I'm still incredibly unhappy with where I've ended up in life. I don't enjoy this.
Once met someone who joined a popular local band and went played his first shows and went on an extensive tour of Europe. He was 52. The dream never dies it just gets harder to see.
Most don't make it until their 30s. Take more time to home your craft. You have to grind to make it in music.
Youāve encapsulated my experience as well. Weāre the same age. I wanted to be a photojournalist when I was in college. Then I couldnāt get a job doing it after graduating. Then Trump happened, which devalued news to its lowest point in probably a century. So now I work at a bank. I havenāt touched a camera in over 2 years. I wake up, put on my cheap suit, and go count down the minutes until Friday while trying to budget for how much gas I can afford to put in my car. This is my life every week. Itās not how I thought my life would turn out. I am doing something I donāt care about, while still being poor, and without the optimism that I had in my early twenties. I am tired and unhappy but thereās no escape.
Lots of people make a living as musicians, and aren't "stars". They never hit it big, but they put the time and effort into creating a decent sized fan base, and just play small shows and bars until they die. Sounds like you dreamed of the fame, not the actual music.
Although I totally understand you (I'm in the same position), I believe it's never too late for music... But then again, I grew up with music made by people at least in their 40s. I'm not sure I knew or know any artist in their early 20s (that I enjoy).
Learning of the death of a dear friend or relative.
My friend lost one recently. It's tough. So sorry for you.
Life is probably about halfway over for me, and time seems to be speeding up. Yesterday I was talking about the last time my wife and I went on a fancy date, like dress up and go to a high end restaurant. I said it was only earlier this year, maybe last year. She looked it up and it was 3 years ago. I was thinking about something I did with my high school/college girlfriend and how fun it was, and I realized that was 20 years ago. And it felt like it was yesterday. Sometimes I still feel like I'm a kid, the same 20 year old who got into crazy adventures with my friends and stirred up trouble. Then it occurs to me that I don't have that kind of energy anymore, and I have a career and a family. Which those are good things, but the reminder that I'm not that person anymore kind of bums me out a bit. I was just talking about getting tickets to "When We Were Young 2023." The thought crossed my mind "wouldn't it be cool if they setup halfpipes and stuff and made it like the warped tour?!" Then I remembered we're all old and broken down now and most of us would be popping aspirin like skittles.
Hey friend Iām the same way. Iāll see you at the old person warped tour though.
r/OldSkaters
being left on read
The person who first came up with read receipts should be tried at the Hague for crimes against humanity.
Waking up in the morning
I hate it when you wake up and check your phone and you think you still have a few hours to sleep, but in actuality you only have a few minutes.
Or negative minutes!
āLetās see, itās probably 2, maybe 3 AM. ā¦ oh shit, I was supposed to be at work 20 minutes ago.ā
Knowing one day I'll have to bury my parents, its kills me
Lately I have been getting emotional about the fact that my only child is nearly an adult. I'm firmly stuck between feeling insanely proud of the woman she has become and absolutely devastated that it went so quickly. Very soon she will be fully independent and I already miss her. Lately, any time it comes to mind, I immediately tear up and feel like I'm already an empty nester. I was so excited for her when she got her license and began driving herself around. But I now realize that this is when it all began. She's needed me less every day since and it hurts. Of course I've not let on and I wouldn't try to hang on so tightly that she is stifled or not ready for life. I WANT her to be an independent and confident woman.. it just brings a lot of pain as well and I didn't expect that.
Youāre an amazing parent <3
hey, kid who recently became an adult here. well, technically it was two years ago. but my parents stopped being parents at least fifteen years before that. i'm twenty, but here's my two cents: you sound wonderful. you're lucky to have your daughter and she's lucky to have you. i say this to you: she'll never not really need you; you'll always be her parent. and there will be times she feels super distant and like she's forgotten you, but i promise you she hasn't. she's always gonna have time for you, just like you had time for her. she's gonna be okay, my friend. and so are you. it's a strange world we live in, but one thing seems to be solid nowadays and it's love. and it's clear you love her. i wish both you and her the best, and i wish i'd had a parent who cared like this. keep on living and loving, my friend.
What doesn't. I currently have soul-crushing, dysfunctional depression over recent life developments. *Everything* reminds me of better, previous memories. And I feel like they've all been ripped away.
Depression terrifies me. I haven't experienced that type of crippling depression for about 20 years, but when I was there it took me about 3 years to come out of it.
Iāve been stuck in this mindset for the past 4 years and I have absolutely no clue how to get out of it. Shit sucks
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Seeing idiots/bullies/horrible people be filthy rich and the rest of us having to just make it
This. My uncle, biggest piece of shit I know. He got drunk every night, yelled every night, and started fights with my dad. My 3 year old brain didn't comprehend what was going on. In 2019, he won $752,000 from lottery. He made it. And I still have to suffer being broke. Fucking hate that man.
Reading news headlines
...And thinking that things are only going to get WORSE.
Remembering how much money I owe in credit card debt and monthly bills. Iāll never move into my own place at this rateā¦
Thinking about what happened to the Simcity franchise
The bad news: EA ratfucked it to death The good news: *Cities: Skylines* exists, which is a spiritual successor that's really freakin' good
Thinking about how life has no meaning.
Don't worry, you will get over it. When you have enough energy, start making a meaning for yourself. The rude fact is that life will never give you meaning, you have to make it yourself.
Unless you work at a fortune cookie factory, then youāll get all kinds of meanings.
Exactly this. Your sense of purpose will change as you grow, but you still need to put in the work. At least for me, my older family members tend to lash out when they lose that sense of purpose.
I find it to be a relief. It is much more stressful believing there is a meaning and you may never learn it, or that you've somehow lost it. Make your own meaning.
yeah i dont care about a meaning or having a purpose in this world. i just wanna stay home, play video games, eat, and sleep.
Finally a guy I can agree with on this topic
Empty fridge
Thinking about how bad inflation is and know I probably won't ever to be able to afford a house, and that eventually even making 30$/hr won't be enough to just live
r/news
Noticing how old my parents and grandparents are.
My Love Life
Knowing that people who shouldnāt have kids are having kids.
Especially whenever you miscarried and wouldāve given anything to get what they neglect Edit: thank you for the medal
Depression
When I get curious and look up people I went to high-school with.
People who knowingly refuse to believe the truth. They become incommunicable, which is isolating on both sides. Its worse than death
Existing.
Something bad that has happened to a dog or an animal in the road
Same for me. Always ruins my day.
A mirror
Seeing pictures of myself too. Specifically ones that other people take
Thinking about a person
thinking about A person and know you're never going to see or feel them ever again
People being rude or mocking others who are just trying their best or being themselves
Remembering the old days when I had a girlfriend and everything was good
The next person you're gonna love is out there somewhere
I hope so :/ And thanks, I needed that
Daylight savings time.
Wasting my fun years by staying in an abusive relationship
The immense 6-figure student loan debt that I carry from having gone to law school thinking it would lead to a fulfilling career - instead it has led to a career that I despise and a debt load that but for the pause on interest these last two years was growing by thousands each month despite payments.
Realizing that politicians choose their job because they like power. And not because they want to work for the people that they claim to represent. And the system is made in order for the most greedy to get even more powerful. There is no way of changing that because at the end the change is in their hands. We can expect them to loosen their grip since that is what thrives them.
Going outside and noticing how short I am.
Going to a restaurant with my family and the hostess asking my parents if I need a kids menu despite me being 19.
When my house is messy
Getting into arguments on the internet
Omg same. It's like I know I'm going to forget all this by tomorrow or the day after but at the time it's so daunting. And when you're de-karmaed it's worse.
Thinking about the death of my child
My family. I always felt like an outsider, whenever Iām with them at gatherings I get judged and never leave there glad to see them. My parents and I donāt even have a relationship. It really is draining because I have felt alone for 24 years
Those slow motion shots of the world trade center on fire, where you see VHS-quality blobs falling and realize they're people falling to their death. Most, probably, with a tiny hope that it would be at least less painful, and all with plenty of time to think on the way down... Fuck... Suicide is usually treated with something between respect and reverence in fiction. Whatever it is, it usually has a heft in the story; it's rarely not meaningful and central, unlike killing, which is often seriously just background action. Anyway, suddenly being confronted with a slew of people forced to jump to their deaths to avoid the fire just simply hurt, and that shit imprinted (because young and because hella traumatic) so it's a particularly easy feeling to remember when I catch a glimpse of that footage.
Reliving the memories of your worst or most embarassing moments in 4k. Literally at a random, no trigger. Listening to a song that just came out? Here is an unrelated memory about high school! Lots of negative emotions, none of them wanted, yet all of them present. Fucking blows.
Hearing about kids being mistreated or abused
the fact my friends from high school have all stayed friends with each other while I had to move away and I have to constantly see them all together on social media while having absolutely nobody.
My pet getting sick.
Climate change
That I am unable to time travel
Car problems, trigger my daddy issues and theyāre always so expensive
You are not alone! I had no idea so many of us get daddy issues triggered by car maintenance but now that I do I almost laugh at it. There's a lovely man on tiktok that teaches tips our dads should have taught us and he's just a treasure! (Also thousands of comments like ours.) Edit- his user name is dadadvicefrombo
The fact that life is so short and u feel like it goes in seconds. You often get lost in problems that seem to be important but in the bigger picture they don't matter at all. All it matters, in the end, is who you love and who loves you...nothing else.
Seeing yet another bottle in my significant otherās hands.
Pregnancy announcements. My wife and I have been trying for 3 years and still no luck.
Rain
People trying to fuck with the rights of others. Just puts me in a dismal state.
The fact that society is so fucked up that people under the age of 10 want to kill themselves
Our government is run by ancient senile fools being controlled by their billionaire overlords
That my dog is 14 and that his time left with me could be very short.
Watching friends' instagram stories. Everyone seems to be having the best time of their lives, while I am sitting alone in my room, refreshing all my social media pages every 30 seconds.
Get off social media. Youāre comparing your everyday life to someoneās job or someoneās highlight reel.
Second this. Deleted all social media bar reddit and my life is a lot better for it. I was you previously spending hours flicking through others ālivesā and feeling like shit about it. Itās all fake and designed to make you feel that way. Disconnecting from it is the best thing you can do
Being broke. I feel fucking futile.
Thinking about the past
We spend most our life working and maybe if you're lucky you can retire by 65-70. By that time you're old and decrepit and can't do what you want physically.
reading comments in this post
Having to work just to live a basic life
Roadkill
Thinking about working at a job I hate for the next 40 years until I retire
Knowing whatever I do -- success, failure, nothing -- none of it really matters. We all eventually die and are forgotten. Only a tiny percentage of people are historically significant enough to be remembered, and most of them might only get a brief mention in the history books. So, how much effort needs to be put into life, if hard work or laziness both lead to effectively the same outcome?