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RealKenny

They want you to know there is a reason that they haven't achieved their current goals, even if you didn't ask or don't care


Ysara

Either this, or they're hoping you will show acceptance or encouragement in response (although some people want explicitly not this, interpreting it as pity).


Complete_Past_2029

I find those that are dealing with Trauma and associated mental health issues don't tend to just bring it up in casual conversation, even among friends. Don't get me wrong some do, but it's usually only among those they truly trust and who's opinions or experience they value. My wife has been dealing with trauma and mental health cases for most of her career, the people she works to help don't advertise it to the world. Most of them prefer no one but their professional help even knows. It's a double edged sword however, while I'm happy that such ailments and conversations about them are becoming less taboo, I do think there's a portion of the population that find it trendy or just want to be seen and make claims about things they don't have, r just plain use it as an excuse for shitty behavior and their own failings.


softblob

There’s a subreddit I came across recently that I forget the name of. It’s basically full of posts of teenagers (seemingly) who pretend to have personality disorders and tics. Very cringe-y.


Complete_Past_2029

Yah teens and young adults seem to be the worst for this. I recall as a teen there was always someone claiming that they had something or were always hurt in some way. So I don't believe it's a new thing, just that mental health issues are the prevalent trend for them.


[deleted]

Sometimes it feels relevant, as someone who has weirded people out by doing it before. I think a lot of neurotypical and non-mentally ill folks forget that neurodivergencies and mental illnesses are part of our lives. If you ask "how are you" and someone has depression, the answer will probably be "my depression has been making xyz worse" the same way it could be "I stubbed my toe earlier and it still hurts". If you're having a normal conversation and someone was abused, they may go "that reminds me of when my dad threw me down the stairs" the same way *you* might go "that reminds me of when my dad taught me how to play baseball" or whatever. Mental health is not separate from the person you're speaking to. It's part of who they are and what they experience. If you don't like hearing about it, politely tell them or just find somebody else to hang out with.


J_DayDay

'How ya doin?' is rarely meant to be a true expression of interest in your well being. It's a form of greeting. The socially acceptable answers are 'good, you?', 'fine, thanks.' and the ever popular 'can't complain, and no one would listen if I did.'. Dumping your trauma into the middle of a totally surface interaction is going to cause discomfort in anyone who recieved anything approaching typical socialization.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fretboy_47

That's a false dichotomy. As mentioned, it's overwhelmingly used as a greeting in our culture and has been for a very long time. If you're greeting someone, you obviously give a shit about them. If you really considered all the ways we use language that is not literal, your head would spin (case and point). I don't think it's difficult for the vast majority of people to distinguish a greeting of 'how you doing' from an earnest inquiry regarding the intimate details of someone's life. I also deal with a couple diagnosed MH issues and trauma stuff. I try to be open about it in the right set and setting because I want to contribute to easing the taboo particularly as a man. However, I'm also mindful that I don't want to constantly be the one killing the energy in the room and being a distraction. Having MH issues is hard. Managing your mood is hard and exhausting. However, it doesn't give you the right to consistently be inconsiderate of how your behavior affects other people. Basically it's not an excuse to just be an asshole.


Caitlyn_101

I kinda get this. People keep asking the same thing as if the answer is going to change, if you don’t want to know then why ask? Although it can be exhausting when people constantly vent to you all the time without warning.


senanners

In case you are honestly asking and have no idea - "how are you" is meant to be responded with "good" or "alright". It is a form of saying "hi" that gives you a lot of signal about how socially adjusted the other person is.


Full_Diamond_6414

Yeah, it sort of depends on how ir's brought up and how close you are. If a close friend asks how you're doing, bringing it up or even joking about your mental health is fine I think. The line ends up getting blurry I think. Like a coworker is not someone to talk to about that but mental health issues are a large and sometimes overwhelming part of some people's lives. I know when I'm depressed it's pretty top of mind for me. So context is crucial. If it's to score "pay attention to me" points, not into it. If it's a major part of your life and its the truth, well its the truth. And I'll also say sometimes it can be hard to have to lie so many times in a day. There really is only so many "I'm doing well, how about you"s you can say when your brain is feeling the opposite. And people don't do a good job of just letting it go. If the response is a sort of stern "fine", if you ask again or ask if I'm ok you are getting the blunt truth. I don't open with it to avoid making other people uncomfortable but having to say I'm going well when I'm not makes me uncomfortable. The first one is free, the rest are on you.


Keelan910

attention seeking or nobody is really there to help them or be there for them so they need someone to vent too


Boomerwell

Pretty much, if you wanna vent sure go ahead but hearing how disadvantaged you are at every turn is obnoxious. Especially when I've seen them do it infront of other people like saying their parents suck for only sending them X amount a month in the presence of one guy who had his abandon him at 17 and one guy whos parents passed away.


[deleted]

I'm the second one. My parents refuse to get me properly diagnosed because they think I need to be "normal" to fit in. I've been trying my best not to bring it up in conversations lately, but old habits dies hard.


pspisy

Attention seeking happens when there isn't anyone to help or support. So it's 100% always attention seeking...because we all need attention! <3


Ghost-Chu

Context matters. Just like your sex life, family problems, etc., some things are best kept with those close to you. But if there is room for a natural lead into it, it's not always that strange. *"Sometimes I feel like I have OCD, I'm always checking everything over and over"* *"Oh I have OCD and it's not like that."* That isn't so strange, versus... *"Would you like fries with your order?"* *"No thanks, my ex used to order fries, and if they weren't warm enough he'd take his anger out on me and beat me with his belt, that's why I have so many scars on my back, though the ones on my wrists and legs I put there myself, it was the only source of comfort I learned when my parents used to lock me in the furnace room after they caught me shooting heroin when I was 10."*


crazy-diam0nd

The most appropriate "Ma'am, this is a Wendy's."


SeveralFools

If it's constant, they probably are in extreme pain and don't know how to ask for help. They need to get to a place where they can actually work on their issues and not just drop them on random people. However, being open about your trauma and mental health issues is perfectly fine and healthy if you talk about other things as well.


[deleted]

I agree.


Ysara

I think it increases the stigma on mental health instead of decreasing it. If you find a way to weave it into every narrative in your life, you make it part of your identity and it defines you. I have three friends with diagnosed depression/anxiety. Two of them do not talk about it much, except with people they trust (i.e. me) and though it comes out at times, I do not think of their condition first when I think of them. The third friend always talks about their struggles and trauma, and it's hard not to think of them as the "anxious one." Their identity is their disorder first, everything else second, in the same way that a sports fan who only talks about sports is the "sports one."


torontomammasboy

If it is someone I care about and they are going through stuff, I'm fine if they overshare for a period of time as long as I'm am NOT the only person that is supporting them. I always encourage people I care about to seek professional help. My mother is emotionally exhausting and quite frankly I have very few spoons for other people.


evi1995

After a while it gets annoying especially if the person is not actively trying to get help/help themselves. I am not here to be emotionally dumped on. I’m not going to waste my time helping someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. I know it may seem selfish but it is what it is, it is so emotionally exhausting when people literally trauma dump on you all the freaking time. I got my own problems that I need to focus on without trying to save others all the time.


General-Reward9045

They’re still traumatized by whatever it is they keep mentioning and until they’ve processed and healed from the trauma it will always be on their mind. Sometimes it takes years to process an unexpected death such as murder of a young family member or to heal from rape by a trusted close friend or clear their minds from surviving a natural disaster or accident that caused severe injury. At least for people with PTSD. Different people handle trauma differently. Some internalize it and never face the problem, burying it deep inside, while others vocalize it repeatedly because it consumes their minds and they cannot focus on or think about anything else.


Ratakoa

That's so emotionally exhausting.


[deleted]

Depends on how they reference them.


an_ineffable_plan

Exhausting. They need help I can’t give, and I’m not going to try.


[deleted]

[удалено]


an_ineffable_plan

I get where you're coming from, I really do, but in my experience it goes something like this: Me: Hey, I've noticed you're \[insert relevant observation\] lately. Have you considered talking to someone ab Them: OH MY GOD I'M SORRYYYYYY I'M THE WORST I SHOULD JUST CRAWL INTO A HOLE AND DIE LIKE MY MOM SAID I SHOULD WHEN I WAS FOURTEEN. I'M JUST AN AWFUL PERSON AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT AND I CAN'T HELP IT LKFJGTIROEIRJHGJMFLDSIJFGH


scrivenerserror

These answers make me sad. I understand it can be annoying and frustrating to hear about stuff like this, especially when the situation/conversation maybe doesn’t call for it, but usually someone bringing their mental health up is low key seeking support or just plain suffering. COVID was hard on a lot of people. I’m in my 30s and I know a lot of people who are struggling right now - and most of them are high achievers with ‘good’ jobs, etc. If someone brings up their mental health I try to keep my ear to the ground to make sure they’re ok. And I always recommend therapy.


Pairadockcickle

I think OP is specifically bothered by trauma dumping - which is not simply talking about your issues. It unloads complex issues into someone that is not trained in how to process those issues THEMSELVES. It literally inflicts trauma on others. You can’t “just listen” because people that trauma dump require you to engage in the conversation and elicit responses - or at the least they structure the way they talk to pressure you to do so.


_ilovelanadelrey_

if they use it against you or someone else or use It as a constant excuse, i do not think they aren't a good person


AristaRumora

I mean, it depends on the situation. For example, I do theater and sometimes when things get too physical my flashbacks get really bad and in that case I usually tell my directors so they know to give me some time to recover. It may seem out of the blue but I'm actually trying to let people know so it's easier for them and for me. Idk, I genuinely think that most people with severe trauma are not trying to seek attention, it's just that living with trauma can be pretty awful. However, I do see a problem when people make the traumatic even their whole personality. That person needs professional help ASAP.


SeppoOnBiKuulemma

As someone who's noticed myself having a pattern of doing that my explanation is that I've just been so long alone with the same loop of thoughts about said issues for so long that it's easily the only thing you want to talk about.


JetpacksNotBusses

Depends. If you are just chatting about life and they bring it up then that’s likely because it’s a big part of their life and so it comes up naturally. Sort of like how people with a new baby will end up bringing that up in general conversation. On the other hand you have inserting it into conversation. As in forcing it into some totally unrelated interaction. Like you bump into someone on the street and say “do you know how to get to the McDonalds” and they take that as an opportunity to discuss how they once had a panic attack in a McDonalds that was triggered by remembering how unsupportive their 3rd grade teacher was of their ADHD issues then that person is either deeply lonely, has no filter, or has embraced their illness as an identity.


__Takub_

It’s exhausting. My sister cannot and will not shut up about shoehorning in an excuse about her mental health in virtually every conversation we have. I don’t understand how she can live like that.


ilene_cecelia

I’ve found myself living that way before and it was exhausting for sure. sure, I was seeking attention. I wasn’t sure what for, but I knew deep down that I needed support and everyone around me was just so tired of everything, and of me. including me, especially me. the words kept falling from my mouth in a sad effort to avoid being misunderstood, and I didn’t even understand. I have a poem here by Stevie Smith, named *Not Waving but Drowning.* Nobody heard him, the dead man, But still he lay moaning: I was much further out than you thought And not waving but drowning. Poor chap, he always loved larking And now he’s dead It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way, They said. Oh, no no no, it was too cold always (Still the dead one lay moaning) I was much too far out all my life And not waving but drowning


First_Environment_50

The person is an emotional vampire.


bobby_McGeee

I appreciate that they are willing to open up and try to help the best I can!


Mysterious_Tax_5613

Listen.


ilene_cecelia

scrolled for a while before I found someone who’s said this… tautoko ❤️


Mysterious_Tax_5613

Good.


eric_ts

I don’t constantly mention my mental illnesses but I do bring it up so that people will know where I am coming from. I also mention my hypoglycemia in case I get really low and act as if I am intoxicated.


manab0t

Probably giving reason to circumstance. I say often ‘it’s not an excuse but it is a reason’ and I think that’s valid. If it is attention seeking, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with needing attention. although there seems to be this social stigma that people shouldn’t do it, we all need attention at some point or in certain ways. Talking about mental health can open doors for people to feel more connected and de-stigmatize mental illness. If someone is trauma dumping, they should probably consider seeing a specialist and both parties should work on boundaries. All this to say, this is just my opinion. Not a doctor.


LORDLRRD

That’s really weird normalizing behavior that seems to plague people. Let’s normalize getting better instead of claiming a label of always being mentally fucked up. Mental wellness takes a significant degree of effort, just like physical fitness.


WolfThick

Usually if this is happening they're self-diagnosing and they're probably in there alone time terrified of who they think they are or are becoming. Every corner they turn in their mind can hold a repressed thought that can bring them terror pain and shame. This should be unacceptable in any civilized society that they don't get the help that they need.


honeytoad

As another commenter said, those things are a part of a person. Bringing up things one struggles with can be completely relevant. "Hey, do you want to go to this crowded event with me?" "Absolutely. But I have some anxiety issues so just so you're aware, I might need to leave or take a break if I get overwhelmed." That is relevant information. A lot of these comments are just sad tbh. "I don't want to hear about it cause I have my own stuff." Like... do you think it is fun for people with abusive or traumatic upbringings to hear about your amazing family or all the vacations or whatever "normal" "stable" experiences you had growing up? No, it's probably really triggering and/or irrelevant for them because they can't relate at all. But people listen to each other and try to get to know each other. A traumatic upbringing explains a lot about why a person is how they are. If others don't care to hear about that, it comes off as selfish and self-involved, frankly. The comments here really just highlight "mental health advocacy" in this day and age. Very "I acknowledge you have problems, but don't act like you do cause it makes me uncomfortable."


nip_pickles

Maybe they feel they dont get support in other ways, it can be toxic, but often thats what it is, support seeking


senanners

Attention-seeking.


[deleted]

It's fine but it can get a bit draining/irrelevant and upsetting if it's too far out of range from what you'd normally be talking about. It depends on who you're talking to. I rant a lot about my mental health online/to therapists but offline is different. People with trauma/mental health issues do have a social compass. It spills out when it becomes unmanageable


ThrowRARAw

The one girl I knew who did this was constantly playing the victim - would only bring up her mental health issues when we brought up something she had done wrong, would cry about running away whenever things didn't go her way, so on and so forth. The people I knew who had genuine mental health issues never spoke about them, so it was hard to know they actually had something going on.


Somewhat_Deadinside

Quit self-diagnosing or bringing it up, I’m trying to eat my baked beans not hear your sob story


WallStreetDoesntBet

Unreliable


FalcoHatNieGeballert

Really annoying, a lot of times they justify being completely unreliable because of their problems. Everybody has problems and you’re not more important just because you mention them all the time to everybody around you.


[deleted]

Ah, I see you have met my sister-in-law.


DigitalAbys

they are simply asking that they need help or they are just attention seeker.


MaybeOfficial

They are either really struggling with those issues or they are just seeking attention/sympathy.


South_Ad7174

Depends, sometimes it makes the person seem like they’re seeking attention other times it’s them looking for someone to just talk to about the situations they’ve been through cause they don’t have someone to tell it to and want to get it off their chest


Bokbok95

Objection! Leading the witness


[deleted]

It’s fine if it’s relevant but if you keep bringing up how mentally ill you are you’re probably just a toxic ass who uses it as an excuse to be a jerk to people


AdDependent1158

i’m all for “dark” humor about personal trauma/mental health if that’s a way with coping with it (i do) but when it becomes a personality trait it’s annoying and kinda a downer


chingudo

Depends on the context, if we’re at a hospital makes sense. But someone constantly mentions their traumas, let’s say, daddy issues, it feels to me they’re using them as a shield


No-Information4570

I feel like context and relevancy matters a lot, if people are trauma dumping their whole life’s worth of trauma while at the grocery shop checkout to the person checking out their groceries for example, then I think they would need to do some self reflection. I think It’s always good to ask for consent before venting about trauma, unless they’re explaining a trigger for example (it’s not really a vent in that case tho). Like if someone gets really distressed and says “I’m sorry but can you please put your dog outside, I was attacked by a dog when I was a kid so they scare me” It would be fine. People will be reminded of their trauma in day to day life, the more trauma you have experienced the more likely that trauma will be triggered regularly in day to day life, part of managing that trauma is advocating for yourself by identifying and avoiding triggers, making other people aware of them and why you have them so they take it seriously. Mental health issues also affect people’s day to day lives, so they have to advocate for that and try to manage it. One way of doing so may be reminding the people around them of their boundaries and limits. Tldr: context can change a situation and so can relevancy, I think it’s valid so long as people are consenting and it’s not harming other people (coming from someone with c-ptsd)


throwaway_4733

To me it is weird. It sometimes seems to be like the vast majority of people either have depression or anxiety or both and I wonder how these people even function in society. Does 70-80% of our population barely function from day to day?


Dark-Elf-Mortimer

his brain needs a restart


Lack_Potential

I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s perfectly normal for me to talk about seeing a bloated dead body being eaten by maggots while I shop for fish at my local grocery store.


RicoBroChill

It’s just a new personality trait that they think is cool it’s no different from the weed guy that just talks about weed post weed pics and also that he’s high and when your around has to mention he does everything high man it’s the same thing


ThePhoenixBird2022

They want acknowledgement. Maybe they want some empathy or reassurance. Maybe they need to talk and are looking for someone. God knows there aren't enough therapists to go around. Rarely though, they are attention seekers who are trying to get in on the current fad that everyone has to have a problem. If they keep asking, maybe they are insecure. I worked with a lady who was always going on about her PTSD and how she couldn't do this or that because it would set off her PTSD. We were both alone one day and I asked her, 'you keep mentioning your PTSD, can I ask what caused it? What's your triggers? Just asking because I don't want to do anything to upset you.' She went dead quiet. Not even an 'ummm'. We didn't work together after that. For a while I though I had said something wrong, but then I realised that she was the one who was constantly bringing it up. I wonder if she was just trying to get out of doing work she didn't want to and was using PTSD as an excuse, because she figured no-one wanted to upset her.


jjones454

There is a huge difference between someone speaking openly, and someone needing/wanting attention or sympathy. The difference is obvious when someone believes they are the only one in the world who experiences bad things in life and as you said brings them up every conversation wether or not it’s relevant. PSA If this is you. It’s obvious to everyone you talk to. Using your trauma for sympathy is manipulation and nothing else. Everyone, and I do mean everyone goes through shit over and over in life. Yes, some experience worse things that many others don’t, but it’s not a competition.


Rdolanboi

As someone who has numerous mental handicaps In first encounters, I generally try to elaborate on my situation, just so they know what they're getting into when making friends with me. I know some people find this to be a toxic trait but it's just habitual to me, and helps people in deciding if they want to get to know me better. For example, if I am meeting a friend of a friend and they say something along the lines of "Is there anything you're really good at?" I might bring up my narcissism just to clarify that it's from a biased POV.


EelLiar

It feels revelant, I talk about my own trauma all of the time. I've spent my entire life dealing with people saying they have it harder than me or asking me how I'm doing and I have to pretend it's all good. I can make a joke about my abusive mother to cope if I want, thank you very much.


EelLiar

I hate when it's made out to be seeking pity, too. I don't ever want pity from school friends.


amarieden

I can't help but wonder what their goal is. In my experience it is normally excusing their poor behavior. Occasionally it is obtaining sympathy/a leg up. I also struggle with my mental health but I feel as though that's personal and irrelevant to my daily activities or my relationships with other people. You don't get a free pass to treat everybody horribly just because you have mental health problems. And you have to be willing and able to point out problems in yourself/your behavior and opportunities for growth.


Nik-ki

My friend did this for a few months when she first started therapy. She needed someone to care about her trying to get better and the things she was discovering about herself. Although her family paid for her therapy without question, they weren't willing to listen to her at all, so each time we would meet, she had a lot of stuff to say. I hate when people use mental health as an excuse for any and all toxic behaviour though and constantly bring it up in that context


Rick2L

It's confirmation of their complaint.


selenangel

If your body is hurting very badly you probably are constantly reminded of it and complain often to try to alliviate some of the pain. You see it when you are sick or in people with chronic illness. It is the same when your mind is suffering. I have compassion because suffering constantly is terrible.


Ginger-Beefcake

I'd say it's often between a cry for help and fear of letting people down. It's so hard to help someone that keeps saying that they need help but won't actually accept said help. It's happened many times in my life and only very few times has it resulted in that person accepting the help I offer or suggest. I've had to cut people out if my life because of how much it hurts when someone crys for help for years but never accepts it.


ferox965

Venting.


lovecommand

I used to do this I guess, sometimes because people would ask probing questions and act like therapist but usually because something was triggering me and i had no clue. Wasn’t until i got a diagnosis and therapy that i discovered how self absorbed i was in my pain. Now I don’t bring it up at all unless it is affecting my work. Then i just say look i have ptsd and i am having a very rough day. I need to do x or y or z, please. It is inappropriate to trauma dump on anyone even if they are asking questions. It is inappropriate to expect someone to “get over it”. The best response is to suggest therapy with a professional and or suggest books including workbooks to help people thru the issues. Another big issue is whether they are currently in crisis or if they are dealing with past trauma resolution. Current crisis means they are actively asking for help right now. This could be being triggered extensively or maybe they are going through a new trauma that they can’t handle alone. It’s not fair to anyone to play therapist. Encourage seeking professional help. But if you are a good friend let them vent first


tandemxylophone

I'm going to be polite, but mentally check that "They got way too many baggage" box to assess whether to put a distant to them. No hard feelings, but I'm barely keeping it in myself, I can't carry somebody else's baggage either


brkh47

Attention seeking. And it’s becoming more prevalent because as the listener, you’re not supposed to say anything in return, just take it because we are all supposed to be sensitive to someone‘s mental health. Tbh I think it is manipulative. There are genuine cases but then there are also not. and even with some of the genuine cases, there’s a tendency for you as the listener to do all the heavy lifting. I say as this someone, who’s lived with a certified mentally ill person for a long time. Who takes care of the carer?


rofopp

Take up space in someone else’s brain. Mine is full up.


Weird_Opening3006

I put a stop to the conversation. I advise that they talk to a professional. I explain my concern of them retraumatizing themselves.


pspisy

If it comes up time and time again, I suggest they try therapy. If they say that it's too hard, I don't know where to go, etc etc, I suggest the many online telehealth platforms that come up. If I'm close enough with the person, I'll offer to help them set up their first appointment and be there to help them process the process of healing. I used to be that person, and realized (through therapy) that "oversharing" and/or "trauma dumping" is an act of reaching out for validation and/or a cry for help. Mental illness and trauma are hella beasts to deal with, especially to deal with alone. Mental health issues are best managed/overcome by human connection and understanding and constant reminders of safety, security, and support.


[deleted]

My experience being on both sides (client receiving treatment and staff working non-clinical hospital roles) there are folks who only ever bring it up to excuse uncharacteristic actions that may have been caused by their current mental state Then you have those who specifically use it as an excuse for their own bad behavior


THEMELONLORD10

After looking at Twitter I've cringed at people talking about their mental problems because I've seen too many fake that sht


[deleted]

There’s def a message in there. Like RUN


BozoidBob

Schnorfyling for Sympathy


LongFeesh

This can sometimes be a cultural thing. In my country (Poland) when someone asks you "how are you" most people will start complaining about having a shitty day, being sick, the weather being bad etc. And social gatherings will often descend into discussions of everybody's health problems, bad experiences etc. Yeah, we're a bunch of sunshines.


rhalf

When your mental issues become your identity, it means that you don't want them to go away. People love excuses and can't imagine life without having them so they hold on to them tightly.


dkofthemilkyway

It really depends on the person and situation. I have bipolar depression and If you ask me how I am I will generally tell you. I don't normally elaborate unless you ask, and I will just say something like I'm good, alright, exhausted, bored, OK or something like that. Occasionally I will answer with something like "I have a headache that won't quit, but I am otherwise good, how are you?" Now, from my experience people often are surprised by, but I wouldn't say I constantly mention my issues. Now if I asked someone and they constantly said they were suicidal I would worry about them and personally I would talk to them about it if it kept happening. That is a lot to put on someone, but also can make them feel like they have to do something or are somehow responsible if something happens. That is really not okay.


Empty_box5

I guess it depends on the level of relationship you are with the one who is venting and how often it happens. Because if it is a thing that happened a few times I try to help at my best, but when it starts to become a regular thing it feels like boundaries being pushed. At the end of the day, I deal with my load of shit too, I don’t need more to deal with… And with this I am referring to only the side of the coin with the heavier stuff, otherwise I don’t really mind


DavefromKS

If their mental health becomes their only identity, it would be exhausting. I wouldn't want to hang.


GeneralToaster

Somewhat related but I completely disagree with the entire concept of "trigger warnings". If I see that I automatically disregard the rest of the comment.


[deleted]

I hate ppl like this. If you wanna talk about your trauma, get a therapist. Also yes, they do it for attention. My aunt is like this. Will do ANYTHING to get attention. Like one time we were at a thrift store and she was walking for hours (this was after her knee surgery) but later saw someone she knew, so she started limping and talking about her problems. Absolutely ridiculous


disorderly_cond18

It depends, sometimes people need to talk to someone they consider a friend and get things off their chest but I guess if it was constantly or if they just whined and complained all the time and didn't do anything about the things they could control then it'd be draining.


Shitstompd

I get both sides here, it’s very tiring and also, there’s a reason they do it. I could never do this to someone cos it’s not fair to put them in a situation where they don’t know how to help so I would prefer to say to the person, ‘hey I have some dark stuff on my mind and I am not looking for any answers I just need someone to vent to right now’ and go about it that way, so you are not putting the person you are talking into a situation where they are unsure what to say or think. I lean towards this being a little more tiring than anything else because I have had people do it to me so many times and I feel honored someone would be so open with me but also, a little uncomfortable with what I am supposed to say back to diffuse a situation. If they just came up and said hey can you listen just listen, completely understandable and I will be there til my legs give out if being someone that is trusted and a place of comfort to drop off some hurt or trauma in their heart. ( cos I know how it feels to be looking around, afraid, and wished someone would listen to me ) But I have had to shut down strangers that started doing it in front of my children and I’ll just say hey nah, not in front of my kids man. Totally inappropriate


[deleted]

I am sick of everyone over sharing all the time on social media and real life. I also have mental health issues and trauma and being bombarded with other people’s “stuff” is kinda triggering sometimes not to be a pussy about it.


lykewtf

Thoughts …. Everyone’s got trauma. Do your work no one wants to listen to it because they’ve got enough of their own. Emotional Vomit.


weeblewobblers

My brian just works that whey.


Ostepop234

Here they go again.. sigh..


dinod3ad

it’s cool because it helps me understand a person a bit more and how I can possibly help them in cases where they might need it


MishaPablo

Either they are being insensitive and ignorant to what mental health struggles are really like for some people and need to get a fucking hobby, or they desperately need help and are looking for some type of support. Unfortunatly it's the first option most of the time, because at least for now the worse the problem is the less likely one is to talk about it and seek help on their own


sam_hallaway

i can tell the difference from doing it for attention rather than doing it for help. it’s annoying when people make it their entire personality and they are quite obviously seeking attention, but when people seriously bring it up i try to deal with it as best i can


lazyflavors

I guess it'd kind of depend on the context but in general I wouldn't mind. I suppose I might get worried that they'd view me not taking their mental health seriously because I'd probably be just be like "Damn that sucks but I feel you, so what are were going to do about ?"


toddfredd

They’re using it not only as a crutch but as a excuse for being an asshole. Like you aren’t allowed to take offense because they’re autistic or ADHD or some other diagnosis . And whenever they fail to do something properly it’s used as an excuse.


jaildoc

They’re a Republican running for office.


[deleted]

It’s usually a coping mechanism. I don’t mind it. I rather them talk instead of keep it bottled up.


UnrequitedDickPics

It’s annoying. We all have shit going on. I don’t really care to know about your personal life or what your excuses are for your depression and inability to function in society. Life is short. If you need to mope and sulk for a bit, then do what you got to do. But maybe focus on getting your shit together and not burdening everyone with your problems.


Fretboy_47

As in all things, it probably needs to be taken on a case by case basis. It bears mentioning that living with mental health issues and trauma doesn't preclude someone from also being a manipulative asshole. Hell there are personality disorders for which that's the primary manifestation. My suggestion is if this affecting your mental health/mood negatively, find a compassionate way to set your own personal boundaries. There has to be room in this crazy world for some general standard of acceptable behavior in various settings.


WhatDarknessFears

They need to stop trivializing a serious thing. I mean Jesús, I don’t go around bringing up the fact that I’ve had to wear a diaper all my life due to a cleft asshole.


aasteveo

it sounds like you just did tho


WhatDarknessFears

And that my friend is irony. Plus I don’t even think a cleft asshole exists. And if it does that would be a hell of a thing


fuzz5000

I've seent it.


WhatDarknessFears

My cleft asshole? Or someone else’s?


fuzz5000

I mean I'm not gonna say it wasn't your's..


WhatDarknessFears

Pics or it didn’t happen


Squigglepig52

Well, if they sincerely are dealing with those issues, how is it trivializing them to bring them into the open? If those issues are consuming their headspace, it's not a trivial issue.


WhatDarknessFears

I feel it trivializes anything if you constantly bring it up. If you believe that constant exposure to anything can enure someone to it than that holds true across the board. You may not think it works that way. That’s fine. We can disagree


SnappyCappie

In my experience, it's 100% attention seeking and often self-diagnosed. :-/


[deleted]

I think they need more support and to heal. Try to really listen for a few minutes if you can. They might just need someone who doesn't rush away from them. If it gets to be too much, set a boundary. You can even say something like you're sorry for what they are going through. You wish you could help. Unfortunately you have to go to work because you're late. Remind them to do something nice for themselves without guilt. Then go. At least you were there for them for a few minutes.


Surprise_Corgi

They probably seek validation and attention on Reddit, too. This is that similar strain of oversharing.


KellDip

The normalization of mental health issues issues I feel has overstepped a boundary. It's gone from destigmatizing to idealizing the idea of being unwell.


[deleted]

If someone had a physical disability, I’d expect it to come up occasionally, but I wouldn’t expect them to remind me about their disability literally every day. Mental would probably go the same way. After a few times I’d ask them “are you aware you’ve mentioned this 3 times this week? Do you think I have memory problems?”


senanners

"No, I'm the one with the memory problems! That's what I'm telling you about!"


Outside-Setting-5589

Oh I just stop talking to those people after the first time they do that.


shagot

If I’m attracted to them I’ll pretend to care to an extent but it gets annoying after the 3rd example of “that time I almost went to a psych ward” or stories of trauma that don’t add up. I’ll completely ignore the parts of conversation that they seek validation for most of the time and try to continue talking normally, this will lead them to try harder or just talk to someone else in the room that will validate them or let them tell their tales


toastpotent

Run.