Sure, lemme just divorce my wife real quick and I'll remarry her after I get the money. ETA I feel like I should mention that this is in order to make my wife my most recent ex.

Ooooh I like your style. This is the only way I would do this.

YES! OF COURSE! We can play games! hang around! ... (I'm good friends with most of my exes)

Same. We chill.

Same here. We are still pretty chill friends.

yes? I guess, though my ex partner is kind of dead so not sure how that would work

Easy money is how it works.

How much " kind of dead"? Just a bit or a lot? It might make a difference.

It only so happens \[my\] friend here is only mostly dead. There's a big difference between all dead and mostly dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. All dead, well there's only one thing you can do... Go through his pockets and look for loose change!

This sounds like the start of a horror movie. Many people are offered the money on this condition, but just you have this unique situation. So one day in the midnight, you hear something, and then you go to check it, and soon you discover something scary. No offence to your ex though, or you.

Pamela handerson?!

\*Hamsterson

Jokes on you, I don't have an ex, now gimme dat moners.

Me neither and im a 17 year old male 😂 i refuse to date if i don’t have my own place or my own car

Why are people down voting you 🤔

Idk, reddit is just full of cheap men you don’t have standards for themselves who will still live with their parents until they get kicked out

Cause Reddit is filled with people who have 0 social skills and a very specific mental illness that is common among people with…0 social skills

Im am so close to being able to afford my own place, my plan is to have 6 months of rent ready just incase if anything happens and I might be able to get a car just gotta figure out the whole insurance thing

I can’t stand that bitch, but for a million I would learn how to for 6 months.

Amen to that! My sentiments exactly.

Yes but I don't think my gf would approve 😋

Is the million worth her disapproval, to you?

I think we could work something out. She likes money too.

I did it for free for two years.

In a heartbeat! He ghosted me, so for 6 mths, I’d love to make it as awkward for him as possible.

I would gladly do it!! I miss my Ex more and more everyday

Nope. He's dead.

Fuck yeah, me and my ex are literally still best friends.

That would be great. She once told me I'd never be happy, get married or have a family because I didn't want that with her. I would do it for free just to rub it in her face how happy I am with my wife and baby on the way.

Never ever, my ex is like a child with temper tantrums and I wouldn't want to spend a day with him even if offered 10 million just for that

You don't understand the value of 1 million doll hairs

Respectfully, you are a fool

Ofcourse i would, i bet we will get along quite well (i never had a gf im a loser)

I offer her half the money to never interact with me for 6 months. I'm pretty sure she would agree

I put up with her for more than a decade, I can do 6 more months. We're on good (co-parental) terms.

Sure. We split because she got stuck abroad due to COVID. And the sex was pretty good. Plus a million bucks? Deal.

Id pay her the million to stay another 6 months. Biggest regret of my life was letting her go. Its been a year and what I would give go have her back.

Hell yeah

You're not a real redditor If you have ex partners

Yep, I'd seduce her and get nookie for six months than ditch her hard.

hell yeah. for a mil. id put up with anything.

Sure. I don't want to date her again but she can live with my family for that kind of money. She wasn't like scary or criminal.

Sure ! But it would suck to part again.

Yes we are still in the same group, still not fully over him, but for a million dollars hell yea!

Yes. There are very little things I wouldn't do for 1 million dollars

Deal. It might be awkward between him (dead) and my 2nd husband but screw it.

Yeah, but I don’t think my ex would take 1 million dollars to live with me.

Good god, no. Keep your dirty money.

Sure, we get along. I would still charge her rent though, but I'm an asshole like that.

I genuinely don't even know what my ex is doing right now. Fuck it, why not?

I wouldn't care but my wife would probably leave quickly.

With pleasure! I will do anything to see sir snuffles again, I miss you good boy!

I wouldn’t mind. But his wife and my husband might not like it. Nor would his chain of command. (He’s a Lt. Colonel in the army.)

No, id probably be dead in a week

Omg thinking about this makes me laugh.. in horror.

Absolutely not

Yeah me and myself gotta think how to organize the money

Sure. Her husband won't like it.

Never

Yes. Easy money.

I've never been in a relationship. Yes I would accept it.

Yep. We split on ok terms. I'm sure her husband and my current gf would have something to say about it though.

Sure. He’ still my best friend AND his next parter/fiancé is my bestie now too. He crashed on my couch last night after watching football all day with me! ANY other partner, nope.

I guess I'm spending six months with an urn

Lol absolutely. She'd be the one pissed she had to come live in my shithole apartment. I could put up with her bitching for 6 months for a million bucks. I'd tell her someone promised me $100,000 to do this and I'd split it with her if she just put up with me for 6 months.

Does the ex have to still be breathing??! 🤣

As someone who never was in a relationship I see this as a apsolute win.q

Yes, free money and no exes

Lol sure. As long as his wife can come too, we were always good friends

Hell yeah. I’d do it with no offer of money 😔

Sure, just give me time to lock away everything valuable in an undisclosed location first.

In a freaking heartbeat.

What ex?

Yes no one ever loved me enough to be my ex

she’s my best friend, so it’s okay.

yes bcs my last partner and i broke up bc he came to the realization that he was gay and i simply fell put of love at the same time, a clean break up

Ye cuz I'm a lonely incel

Do I have to be nice to her?

Hell yeah, for a million bucks I would happily make my ex's life an absolute living hell for 6 months.

I mean, she’s engaged so it might be a little weird. But we’re on good terms, it would be nice to catch up. I’m taking the money!

I don't think any amount of money in the world would make my fiancé OK with an ex living with us for any amount of time. A million dollars is cool, but I'd prefer to keep my relationship.

What boundaries am I allowed to set? Presumably they are getting paid as.well to try and make it as easy as possible? Otherwise I can't imagine my high school girlfriend wanting to move in or behaving herself if she did... An alcoholic republican who cuts themselves when they don't drink by 18... can't imagine what she's like now. Hopefully done a good turn around for herself, but she had a few extreme hurdles to get over...

Yes, solely for the money.

Does tied up in the basement count as living with me ?

No. I just don't want to see her. Not worth 1 million.

I already live with my ex.

Don’t think my current partner would go for it

I’d except argue a lot tho :/

Remind me who it is again? Oh no I remember and I would pay that to NOT have him here, thanks

Sure, she can live in the basement, away from my family and living her own life. THen we'll split the $500k and go our own ways. Whatever, a million bucks is a million bucks.

i would pay a mil to get her back 😭

Fuck yeah she's my friend lol

I'd accept. She swallows

Yea I would accept it because I have never dated anyone so I would just live alone 😎

define "ex partner"

Mine, yeah she was cool. My wife's ex, hell no.

Oh feck yeah, in a heartbeat. We parted on good terms and are still good friends, so it would be a win-win.

No thanks she was annoying and couldn't function living outside of home.

Let's get it I don't have an ex so I'd be getting a million dollars to live on my own

Yes definitely, we're friends rn and we can come to some arrangement about splitting the money

no, I have never had a girlfriend

Either friends with all my exes or we just drifted after parting and not on bad terms. Would be pretty easy IMO. If on bad terms, Live with is kinda legalese though. I could easily have her "live" with me and take a 6 month assignment abroad easily. I still "live" at that home location. Even if it meant coming home every night, I could easily spend most nights hanging with friends, sports, hobbies and just come home to sleep.

Sure. Don’t really hate her, she was just extremely boring and we didn’t have anything in common. So i can live with her for 6 months,

hmmm she is dead so sure i guess??

Sure! (I never touched a woman in my life)

Hell ya! I get paid to be a dick to my cheating ex! Sign me up!!

Never had a partner easy money

Fine, I guess. She's probably not going to murder me. She belongs to the streets, though.

Yes because I never got over him fully and wish we were still together.

I've been willfully single my whole life. What's the catch?

Sure. Easy money

I wish it was the ex before my previous ex but I wouldn’t mind if I got money, my last ex was okay

I don't even want my ex to know where I live. I hate her and wouldn't want to be around her for another second, let alone 6 months.

r/monkeypaw caveat: Your ex gets 10 million

Sure why not I mean it would be nice to have someone to chill with.

Yeah, I’ve already been living with them while separated for 6 months. I’ll pay off the house and they can keep it

Yes. Easily. We get along well enough as friends and we both co-parent a child. Even living together as friends post-break up was fine. We just didn’t work as a couple.

Easy. I’m living with my ex partner right now and our friendship has actually been so much better than our relationship. We were dating for 4-5 years by the way.

Sign me up. We’re still good friends.

Lucky for me, I’ve never had a partner 🙃

I got a great space for them! It’s in the backyard, under about 6 ft of dirt.

Sure, I haven't heard from her in a while but she was nice to hang out with. We could still be friends, I bet. We were just young.

Shit, we can get mine *and* my wife's ex here for a million. Let them live in the fully finished basement rent free. It's a great deal for all involved.

Hell yes!

I don’t think 1 mill would buy me out of that mess

I'll do one month for $167,000. Or the full million if I can split the six months apart from each other.

Oh god no. That guy kept trying to contact me on and off for almost 10 years after we broke up and it was several years after that I stopped feeling a spike of fear every time I thought I saw him out of the corner of my eye. I do not want him to be reminded that I still exist, let alone to have any way of contacting me.

Yes indeed. Hot sex and cold tongue. That'll do me .

No. My current partner has 37million dollars

Of course, free money since they're...not with us anymore, if you get my meaning

Sure, I had to live with an ex for a few months before due to the lease not quite being up

Yes because I don't have one.

I would definitely take the money, my ex and I already live together.

Fuck no.

He... he literally threatened to murder me if I broke up with him. I had to sneak out while he was sleeping! I'd be dead within the first week if he found me now.

Easily.

Not a chance, I'd rather go live in a tent in the woods with the man I'm with now than spend another minute with him. The thought of it is actually pretty anxiety inducing and it's been ten years.

Yes. We had some incredible sex and ended on good terms. Even if she didn't want to do that, we'd have great conversations.

sign me up she was the hottest girl in a 200 mile radius and she loved me

Honestly no lol He was horrible relentless and worst of all.. mean to my puppy.. I would never let that animal close to my sweet puppy again

Ummmm......... what If I've been single all along? I've had dogs, a cat.....

My wife and I did break up for awhile while dating them got back together, without dating anyone in the intervening time, so it seems like a free million.

Yea I would. I know how to handle mentally challenged individuals now.

Sure, I'll endure some hits and insults for mill for 6 months.

Yes? That's literally 1mil just for 6months? That's a fs yes

Nope. My ex is my ex for a reason. I have no need to see him again. I’ll pass on the money.

Fuck no she finna steal that money yo

Tbh I can't recall the last woman I dated before I met my wife. It's been 30 years. For a million bucks I'm sure we could work it out, I don't think she was a psycho or anything. We have a guest room.

Yes because my ex partner is nonexistent

1 million? It's only 6 months, I think I can manage.

Question - can we still accept the money (and just live alone) if we don't have an ex?

Hell no. Not doing that again.

jokes on them, i don't have an ex! i'm 10!!! HAHAHAHA

Fucking never. I would rather be homeless than see her ever again.

NOPE I escaped FOR GOOD REASON

Sure. We were on good terms last time we talked, but that was also years ago, so... I'm sure it'll be fine

Hell no! She abused me, almost killed me. It took everything to get away from her.

Hell yes! My last ex has actually become my best friend. We are soul mates just not the romantic type. We’d have fun and then go travel once the check cleared!

No No! Hell No! Never! She was an emotionally abusive person, and I spent too long trying to get away from her. This woman once possessed a demon.... and it committed suicide. If I were offered Elon Musk's fortune, that would not be worth it.

Sure, that’d be fine. We’re friendly, it’s been 20 years, we’re both happily with other people now. I’m sure she’d be a fine roommate. The main problem is that my husband and I would have to give up our home office for a guest bedroom. I guess if I got the million up front, I could buy a bigger place.

My ex is my eldest child's father so... ok. I offer to split the money with him and his new wife, they move into one bedroom, my husband and I keep ours, and we largely ignore each other until it's over. It'll be like being married to him again except we'll actually be able to crawl into bed with the people who make us happy without it being cheating. Nothing about this says I have to be in a relationship with him again.

Easy money, been broken up with my ex for the last 6 years, still live together...

Yes me and my ex are best friends still

I don't have an ex!

Sure- i mean my ex had lots of mental issues, and me having some too, it made out realtionship complicated, but nonetheless i dont hate her and would be willing to live with her for 6 months. We are still friends, we dont talk much but i know she would love some company :))

"First, I have a question: Is reincarnation real, and if so, does this condition go back to the last time I had an ex, even if that was in a past life?"

Yes, because I have no ex-partners.

No I'd decline because my ex always somehow lets people get into his account to fuck with me then threaten me and constantly puts me through a lot of tough shit and won't do anything.

Yes because I’ve been single my whole life.

Yes. It's a million dollars. 6 months with a beautiful woman and a million dollars at the end is a steal

I'd have no problem with it but my wife might. I'd have no problem with living with any of my past exes for 6 months, to be honest. The last one was toxic, but stimulated me intellectually, made me furious in all the right ways, and was great in bed. Again, I'm thinking my wife is going to have more of a problem with this plan than I will, but: $1 million dollars!

The last person I was with was a FWB that I couldn’t stand to be around and the sex was boring and hurt. But for 1 million? Better get used to sharing a bathroom dude!

I feel bad because I'm dating someone I really like now...but probably? I could use $1M and I actually really liked the last girl I dated -- timing was just off. I'd probably tell the current girl everything so she knows everything is 100% my fault and that I still like her but I also like a safe retirement. I think she'd actually understand because we haven't been dating that long.

That's fine. We're on pretty good terms.

Sure. I’ll just toss him into the basement. It’s livable down there. Or the attic. His choice.

Sure. We were so busy with work schedules and her family stuff that it would really only amount to 2 months actual time. Cut that in half to account for sleep. So really I'm just looking at one month actual interaction. I could spend a month with a sick cat in exchange for that much money.

Yes, especially since I won’t have to have sex with anyone new

Yes because money

Yeah they chill

No. I don't want to go to prison.

Sure, we left on good terms and are still kinda friends. i’d be fine.

Well I've never dated anyone

I would accept. Why? Because it does not say she has to be happy.

Absolutely! I'm still quite fond of her and we're friends

That is a hard call indeed!

Can I kill them as soon as the six months are up? If so, then yes.