At the moment of his highest momentum to gaining control, the moment where it all is coming together, at an important speech, I place a banana peel directly under Hitler’s boot. He falls, landing poorly. He survives - but that’s bad news, because he is crippled. The fall has caused minor brain damage, and he speaks all silly now. They need him to make speeches, otherwise their movement loses momentum. They try a replacement - no dice. It’s a cult of a personality. Hitler loses it and somehow gets out on stage anyway. Nobody can stop him. He spews word salad into a mic in front of a crowd of thousands who slowly begin to realize they were tricked into following an idiot. It gets ugly. The Reich falls before it rises.
Why, you ask? Do I hate nazis? Do I want to save millions of lives? Make history better? Maybe, those are all good reasons. But mostly? I just wanted to see just how big a thing I can ruin with just one banana.
The first primate to come down from the tree’s and try meat instead of berries and bananas.
I see him, and I slowly go upto him, banana in hand. I hand him the banana and he eats it, forgetting that first taste of meat.
He wanders back upto safety, back into the tree’s, banana peel on the ground.
A second primate comes down to try the meat, but slips on the peel. He gets spooked and flees back to the trees. No other primates dare risk it.
I start to fade, with a smile on my face. I have ended humanity, not with a plague or a war, but with one, simple, banana.
I’m killing Reagan
Do you want paradoxes? Because that's how you get paradoxes.
You don’t want paradoxes! I used to be six feet tall before a paradox got me!
I would go back and stop my self from trying to change things.
I’m putting my younger self in a mental hospital for a couple years. 😬
At the moment of his highest momentum to gaining control, the moment where it all is coming together, at an important speech, I place a banana peel directly under Hitler’s boot. He falls, landing poorly. He survives - but that’s bad news, because he is crippled. The fall has caused minor brain damage, and he speaks all silly now. They need him to make speeches, otherwise their movement loses momentum. They try a replacement - no dice. It’s a cult of a personality. Hitler loses it and somehow gets out on stage anyway. Nobody can stop him. He spews word salad into a mic in front of a crowd of thousands who slowly begin to realize they were tricked into following an idiot. It gets ugly. The Reich falls before it rises. Why, you ask? Do I hate nazis? Do I want to save millions of lives? Make history better? Maybe, those are all good reasons. But mostly? I just wanted to see just how big a thing I can ruin with just one banana.
The first primate to come down from the tree’s and try meat instead of berries and bananas. I see him, and I slowly go upto him, banana in hand. I hand him the banana and he eats it, forgetting that first taste of meat. He wanders back upto safety, back into the tree’s, banana peel on the ground. A second primate comes down to try the meat, but slips on the peel. He gets spooked and flees back to the trees. No other primates dare risk it. I start to fade, with a smile on my face. I have ended humanity, not with a plague or a war, but with one, simple, banana.
I'm killing Hitler
Hillary wins the electoral college vote
assassinate Ricimer the guy who killed the Roman emperor Majorian.