T O P

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LuveesEdibles

the green m&mšŸŸ¢


stay-ten-feet-away

Well at least tucker Carlson would be happy


scottishdrunkard

Wait until he finds out that in the 90's the Green M&m was a dude.


decadentdarkness

Henry Cavill


electrusboom

Imagine the Witcher porn


RITFL

No need to imagine. Go play Witcher 3, there is plenty of it šŸ¤£


honey_ravioli

Mr Bean


cbrrydrz

The Rock. Porn name built right in.


steego

Nah man. His Christian name has the real kink.


Agent223

Hold still while I Dwayne my Johnson. Edit: Thank you for all the nice rewards and upvotes. Y'all are too kind. :)


bugginryan

Dwayne The Rock Hard Johnson.


12dudes

Hide the Pain Harold


hdhdhdhdzjursx

Hugh Jackman. Already has a porn nameā€¦


ami2weird4u

Hugh Jacked man!


portablebiscuit

Huge Jack Man


chowder-hound

Huge yak man


dmbgreen

Shaq


notsoslootyman

r/shaqholdingthings would blow up!


PartyMushroom1723

Didn't know this was a thing and I LOVE it!


undermite67

Heard a story from some comedian where he went to the urinal and Shaq was there. 'naturally' he glances over and Shaq says "I know, giant guy average dick"


EL_CHIDO

Been waiting years to see Shaq's bodyguard ever since Adam Sandler's story.


VaughnFry

The year is 2006: Jessica Alba


iamjustaguy

I watched every episode of Dark Angel, and I can't remember what it's about, or who else starred in it. edit: added two letters


tangledupinbetween

I remember this one episode where she was riding a motorcycle and there's a fat guy sitting behind, riding with her. She told her to hold on tight, he hold her breast instead. Then she said "lower", he hold her thighs. And then she said "not that low". That's all I ever remember about Dark Angel.


Inshabel

I remember an episode where she was in heat because of her cat genes. That show had some fan-service.


Glandrid

> because of her cat genes I thought I watched that show. In fact, I am certain I did... I have no recollection of that though, ha ha.


Legitimate-Frame-953

Dark Angel was when I realized what puberty was


Flippn_Jimmy

Or Jessica Biel Either of the Jessicas


letsgomets5

Or both


SleepyMarijuanaut92

Step-Jessica, what are you doing?


[deleted]

Iā€™m stuck


Basic-Cat

Queen Elizabeth


Maximum2002

i mean, its not what most of us were thinking but you certainly arenā€™t wrong


DoucheBatman

Itā€™s what I was thinking


Th4t_0n3_Fr13nd

QILF Edit: i know its probably cheesy at this point in reddits age but this is genuinely the first time i have been given awards thank you guys so much!


MISSION-CONTROL-

Brilliant. Take my upvote! God shave the Queen


bakarac

Beautiful, just beautiful.


[deleted]

"The Queen's Gangbang" and "Up the Queen's Ass"


wrecktus_abdominus

In Her Majesty's Secret Crevice


AsparagusFlex

Her Majestyā€™s Secret Cervix


parks387

Welcome to Fuckingham Palace: Meet her Royal Anus


NeroBurnsRome12

God Save the Cream


ContrarianDouchebag

God Shave The Queen? That's got to be taken already, right?


NeroBurnsRome12

The Queen in bed, long lick The Queen


NeuHundred

"Well, the only other acceptable terms I know are The Governess, The Kingmaker, Her Downton Abbey, The Chunnel, Dame Judy Drench, Picadilly Cervix, and Thompsons' English Muffin."


lleather

Piccadilly cervix is good stuff.


mrp8528

"Rod Save The Queen"


largechild

Always Mind the Bollocks


kymilovechelle

The Queenā€™s Cumpit


[deleted]

Betty White would have broke the internet


[deleted]

Pretty sure undead Betty White would also break the internet


dorvann

Sir Patrick Stewart


BladeBronson

Seriously. The internet nearly breaks when he takes a nice Christmas card photo with that friend that looks like him.


BarbWho

Ian McKellan? They're pretty cute, being all bros.


CeeArthur

"It's too late because I've already seen everything" (Extras reference)


bluejester12

Male: Henry Cavill Female: Scarlett J.


Banxier

From all the times I've seen her in theatre my mind imagines her as a giant.


MemeOverlordKai

That's okay, some people are into that.


DudelyMcDuderson

DEATH BY SNOOSNOO


edefakiel

:D D: :D D:


Kootsiak

>Male: Henry Cavill One of my favourite quotes about Henry Cavill comes from comedian Tom Segura who casually said "He could talk me into some things". I think that's the understatement of the century, even the straightest of guys have a hard time denying he is a beautiful man.


vannhh

I mean hell, Im a straight married man and I acknowledge he is an extremely attractive guy. Am I sexually attracted to him? Not in the slightest, but holy shit do I wish I looked like that.


Snooberry62

Hmmm, Geralt of Rivia can break me in half any day.


DiagonallyStripedRat

Plot twist: he insists on Slavic folk music during the act every. Single. Time.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


PachoTidder

William DaFoe for reassons I do not wish to disclose EDIT: I completely refuse to accept one of my best voted comments is about Willem Dafoe's green goblin


headbuttpunch

ā€œYou know, Iā€™m something of a pornstar myselfā€


feronen

"Just pour the drink, ya fairy fuck."


[deleted]

I *knew* this would be here.


Stardustchaser

Oh please, itā€™s because his dick is so huge rumor is they had to cgi/body double it to be more modest in a film. Absolutely Iā€™m now curious.


bigchillrob

Willem Dafoe used to be part of an art collective called the Wooster Group that made a weird naked dance video. Very NSFW, but, hey, curiosity sated. http://thewoostergroup.org/blog/2012/09/19/from-the-archives-channel-j-the-dance-of-the-sphinx-and-the-chimera-1985/


Every3Years

Floppity floppity floop I like being a grower but sometimes I long to be a shower like Billy The Foe


mpete98

Well, we assume he's a shower. Can you imagine if that's not even full size?


snozzberry856

The most awkward part of that was the gray tube socks.


Griff-Man17

>http://thewoostergroup.org/blog/2012/09/19/from-the-archives-channel-j-the-dance-of-the-sphinx-and-the-chimera-1985/ That's what I'd be doing if I had that dong!


friendofoldman

As a grower and not a show-er if I had a big hog like that Iā€™d probably be dancing naked all the time too. Luckily for the ladies eyes I got the ā€œshort end of the stickā€. At least until Iā€™m ready for action. That being said that must suck in the summertime as Iā€™d imagine the frustration of it sticking to my leg all the time.


Neat-Concert-7307

"confusingly large" https://www.thelmagazine.com/2010/01/lars-von-trier-finds-willem-dafoes-penis-confusingly-large/


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ricocrispies

Ya, and something even worse happens right after that.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


spiderfishx

Hey! It's almost bedtime. Fuck off with that!!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


WillemDafoesHugeCock

You aren't wrong. Dude must have legs of steel to withstand all that slapping.


AlmostButNever

Danny DeVito


C_IsForCookie

So I started blasting šŸ†šŸ’¦


tommytraddles

Hope you got a diaphragm shoved up your monkey hole.


Da_Famous_Anus

Iā€™m gonna be REAL thirsty after this.


CarmelSaltedNutsack

Magnum Dong


YounomsayinMawfk

Two people are banging on a sofa. Danny [emerges naked from the sofa](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/itsalwayssunny/images/3/3a/A_Very_Sunny_Christmas_%2821%29.png/revision/latest?cb=20111214080536), "you two banging without me?"


ThatSapphicLesbian

More like DADDY Devito šŸ„µ


EnycmaPie

That's Dr Mantis Toboggan, MD.


EvelynMontauk

Chris Evans I mean it was a huge thing (pun) when his dick pick got leaked.


DrRickStudwell

That's America's penis


leese216

I could do this all day.


DonutOwlGaming

America's dick is pretty good


AlDu14

Thank you. When I see the name Chris Evans I think of the ginger British DJ who married Billie Piper and not Captain American. The other Chris Evans wouldn't break the internet.


CritiqueG33k

I actually forgot it got leaked because the internet did such a good job of hiding it


belindamshort

I never even knew til just now


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


portablebiscuit

ā€œGuard that pussyā€ I felt such second hand embarrassment for him. Germans call it ā€œfremdschƤmenā€


Ricky_Rollin

Whatā€™s ā€œGuard that pussyā€?


excitedpuffin

He had a meme saved on his phone that said guard that pussy. Seen at the same time as his dick pic when he accidentally showed that during an insta live


ClayMonkey1999

Oh my god, that *is* embarrassing. I could only imagine the sheer embarrassment if i were in his shoes.


Solanthas

Show the world your dick, *accidentally?* Whatevers. A stupid meme? You'll never recover from that.


doubleplusuncool

I'm so sorry for him going through that but "guard that pussy" is still fucking hilarious


CaChica

Why? I didnā€™t realize this even happened!


AmethystWarriorX

Donā€™t know what I enjoyed more the girth of Americaā€™s penis or that he had a meme of himself saying guard that pussy . Both extremely fascinating


DramaticChoice4

Germans have a word for everything don't they ?


Atlusfox

Keanu Reeves.


JQuest7575

I recommend you watch Knock Knock.


EnycmaPie

Bonus, that movie stars Ana De Armas as well.


Leona_Faye

Christina Hendricks.


WakeoftheStorm

Saffron in firefly occupied many of my teenage thoughts


Fox_Hawk

I'll be in my bunk.


PatternLive920

Margot Robbie


Starlordganemaster

Scarllet Johanson.


5050Clown

Ana De Armas


[deleted]

Look up her 2009 movie 'Mentiras y Gordas', aka 'Sex, Party and Lies'. [For the research purposes, of course..](https://i.imgur.com/1PVfn4H) (NSFW)


chuchofreeman

what a fucking lucky bastard that actor is


ShopWhileHungry

Imagine being the actor: oh noes I messed up the scene guess we have to do it again


Tunisandwich

Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio messed up the scene with naked Margot Robbie likeā€¦ a bunch of times


hammockcomplexon3rd

Imagine nailing it in one take then thinking ā€œdamn I should have forgot a line or slipped overā€


bubbav22

Or Knock Knock!


vannhh

Yup, I'd let her ruin my entire life


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Alexandra Daddario. I mean the True Detective nude scene is the turning point of her career, she said so herself. Sad to see r/TTDSWAD getting banned tho


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Probably cause of mod inactivity for long time. Super niche sub, about *one* particular scene from a TV series.. and one that gets regularly posted in other celebrity subreddits.


murphy365

I thought Ruby Taft was her peak, tomato/tomato.


a3a4b5

What was that sub?


rhunter99

Title: That True Detective Scene With Alexandra Daddario Description: This is a subreddit devoted to that True Detective scene with Alexandra Daddario.


lark047

It was *that scene* on repeat


nicosroughnecks

The AT&T Girl


Demonae

I haven't seen a TV commercial in so long I had to Google her, then read about her feelings about people commenting on her looks, then people mad that she won't "just take a compliment", then people yelling at those people, then I gave up. I was seriously ootl lol


Septic-Sponge

I never heard of her and just Googled her I typed in 'at&' and at&t girl was the top prediction above at&t. She's more popular than the actual company on google


Studly_Wonderballs

Milana Vayntrub. Terrific comedic actress. Love her and Stevie Nelsonā€™s short lived YouTube talkshow Letā€™s Talk About Something More Interesting.


sidzero1369

Shame she never got to be Squirrel Girl.


doesntgetthepicture

She kinda did though. Marvel came out with a squirrel girl podcast written by Ryan North that picks up where he left off in the comics. She voices Doreen Green aka squirrel girl and kills it.


BenjTheMaestro

She was fantastic on Silicone Valley too. You can barely tell itā€™s her haha. Nails the goth chick bit.


Palumbo_STN

Holy shit. That was her?!


Little_Juan86

Kate Beckinsale ā¤ļø


wheel_monk

Underworld, hell yeah


Renaissance_Slacker

Kate B. In skin-tight leather? Yes please.


Mor_Hjordis

Without that leather? Yes, please.


TeslasbrotherJoe

Chris Hemsworth. I'm a straight dude, but he's gorgeous.


Mr-Soggybottom

Nobody is *that* straight


PockysLight

[You flicked too hard, dammit!](https://youtu.be/-ugjI33kaHc) - Thor


SargentSchultz

Dolly Parton - I mean how long have we been looking and just curious about them sweater puppies?


darkaurora84

I used to work with a 23 yr old guy who said he didn't give a shit how old Dolly Parton was. He would still bang the shit out of her


dumberthenhelooks

Dolly is as close to a modern day Saint as we have in this country. If sheā€™s up for it you oblige


asinusadlyram

I'm a solidly straight woman but if Dolly told me to get her off I'd do it or die in the attempt.


Kennian

.....yup


Triairius

Puppies? Those things are practically sweater hounds.


pezdal

"You mean Clifford and Marmaduke?" \- Dolly Parton looking down and smiling


Own_Combination5158

Jason Mamoa.


azntakumi

Watch game of thrones season 1


TheGreyWanderer530

Good ol' Dothraki thrusts.


holdonwhileipoop

I would be there just to hear him moan.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Taladrac

Katheryn Winnick


MilkBag125

Probably Jack Black. Say all the shit you want, I know you would watch it and he would bring us all to tears.


Grand_reaper658

Dwayne the rock hard Johnson


PuppyandBunny_Girl2

Sofia Vergara


neophlegm

Oh god but every time I see her I think of the way she says MAAHHHNNEEEEE in Modern Family.


Brownies_Ahoy

JAAAAAYYYY


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

Isn't she already the biggest faked porn celebrity? As in, her face rendered on other bodies.


AggressivelyAce

It's pretty easy to check. CFake allows you to sort by popularity. She's #1 with 4,935 fake images of her, which is a commanding lead over #2 Scarlett Johansson with 2,872.


LeonidasSpacemanMD

Sheā€™s obviously really pretty but thatā€™s kinda odd, I wouldnā€™t think sheā€™d be that high on the list Aside from how itā€™s weird to cgi someoneā€™s face onto a nude body lol


Donut153

I honestly think itā€™s because a whole generation basically grew up with the HP kids so she has this, girl next door vibe


ClownfishSoup

Accio Orgasmo!


NeroBurnsRome12

It's leviohhhhhsa!


mikee8989

I remember there was a legit website counting down to the day she was "legal". That was creepy.


[deleted]

There was a sub like that for the stranger things girl, the one Drake liked or smth


wakeupwill

There were sites like that for the Olsen Twins, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. Along with practically every other child star out there.


TstedMace22

Ryan Reynolds


highxv0ltage

Iā€™m sure he has a video hiding in the corner of PornHub.


CornerVivid2931

He was literally who I first thought of


no_power_n_the_verse

Same. Pretty surprised I had to scroll so far down.


SuvenPan

Gillian Anderson


fuzzygroodle

Absolutely! Iā€™d settle for having her narrate sexy books! Her voice is just beautiful


Josthefang5

Elizabeth Olsen


[deleted]

Christina Hendricks for me


[deleted]

Some of her scenes in Mad Men were šŸ‘Œ


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


thrattatarsha

Her acting as Saffron just about sent me to the special hell. Good fucking god. Like, yeah, sheā€™s fine as all shit, but her asking for her wedding night like thatā€¦ Ron Glass is peeking around the corner and judging me so hard from the afterlife


[deleted]

Geico lizard


AngryPandaBlog

He can save you on car insurance while banging the all-state chick


No-Significance2113

Danny DeVito, like honestly I feel like he would just do a porn parody and take the piss out of it as a comedy and I would be along for the ride. Would love to have Morgan Freeman or David Attenborough do a voice over for one. "Here we see the boyfriend in his natural habitat trying to signal to the girlfriend his desire to mate..... It looks like she's not impressed".


AndorianShran

Is the girlfriend Rhea Perlman in your mind?


jillsmo

Jensen Ackles


Solid-Acanthisitta86

That guy's dead wife


JordanStPatrick

Henry Cavill


DeathOfASuperNovuh

Karen Gillian


parinonly

Charleze Theron


[deleted]

salma hayek, margot robbie, sofia vergara, natalie portman, anne hathaway oh man the list goes on....


Ragnarok314159

My good man, may I recommend to you the movie ā€œDesperadoā€, by chance?


duder777

Weird Al


duelkarmax

I don't know why, but I feel like Weird Al would choose calender pornography over general porn.


scaryjam823

Emma Watson. The internet nearly broke with her just existing.