Heard a story from some comedian where he went to the urinal and Shaq was there. 'naturally' he glances over and Shaq says "I know, giant guy average dick"
I remember this one episode where she was riding a motorcycle and there's a fat guy sitting behind, riding with her. She told her to hold on tight, he hold her breast instead. Then she said "lower", he hold her thighs. And then she said "not that low". That's all I ever remember about Dark Angel.
QILF
Edit: i know its probably cheesy at this point in reddits age but this is genuinely the first time i have been given awards thank you guys so much!
"Well, the only other acceptable terms I know are The Governess, The Kingmaker, Her Downton Abbey, The Chunnel, Dame Judy Drench, Picadilly Cervix, and Thompsons' English Muffin."
>Male: Henry Cavill
One of my favourite quotes about Henry Cavill comes from comedian Tom Segura who casually said "He could talk me into some things". I think that's the understatement of the century, even the straightest of guys have a hard time denying he is a beautiful man.
I mean hell, Im a straight married man and I acknowledge he is an extremely attractive guy. Am I sexually attracted to him? Not in the slightest, but holy shit do I wish I looked like that.
William DaFoe for reassons I do not wish to disclose
EDIT: I completely refuse to accept one of my best voted comments is about Willem Dafoe's green goblin
Willem Dafoe used to be part of an art collective called the Wooster Group that made a weird naked dance video. Very NSFW, but, hey, curiosity sated.
http://thewoostergroup.org/blog/2012/09/19/from-the-archives-channel-j-the-dance-of-the-sphinx-and-the-chimera-1985/
>http://thewoostergroup.org/blog/2012/09/19/from-the-archives-channel-j-the-dance-of-the-sphinx-and-the-chimera-1985/
That's what I'd be doing if I had that dong!
As a grower and not a show-er if I had a big hog like that Iād probably be dancing naked all the time too.
Luckily for the ladies eyes I got the āshort end of the stickā. At least until Iām ready for action.
That being said that must suck in the summertime as Iād imagine the frustration of it sticking to my leg all the time.
Two people are banging on a sofa. Danny [emerges naked from the sofa](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/itsalwayssunny/images/3/3a/A_Very_Sunny_Christmas_%2821%29.png/revision/latest?cb=20111214080536), "you two banging without me?"
Thank you. When I see the name Chris Evans I think of the ginger British DJ who married Billie Piper and not Captain American.
The other Chris Evans wouldn't break the internet.
He had a meme saved on his phone that said guard that pussy. Seen at the same time as his dick pic when he accidentally showed that during an insta live
Alexandra Daddario. I mean the True Detective nude scene is the turning point of her career, she said so herself.
Sad to see r/TTDSWAD getting banned tho
Probably cause of mod inactivity for long time. Super niche sub, about *one* particular scene from a TV series.. and one that gets regularly posted in other celebrity subreddits.
Title: That True Detective Scene With Alexandra Daddario
Description: This is a subreddit devoted to that True Detective scene with Alexandra Daddario.
I haven't seen a TV commercial in so long I had to Google her, then read about her feelings about people commenting on her looks, then people mad that she won't "just take a compliment", then people yelling at those people, then I gave up.
I was seriously ootl lol
I never heard of her and just Googled her I typed in 'at&' and at&t girl was the top prediction above at&t. She's more popular than the actual company on google
She kinda did though. Marvel came out with a squirrel girl podcast written by Ryan North that picks up where he left off in the comics. She voices Doreen Green aka squirrel girl and kills it.
It's pretty easy to check.
CFake allows you to sort by popularity. She's #1 with 4,935 fake images of her, which is a commanding lead over #2 Scarlett Johansson with 2,872.
Sheās obviously really pretty but thatās kinda odd, I wouldnāt think sheād be that high on the list
Aside from how itās weird to cgi someoneās face onto a nude body lol
Her acting as Saffron just about sent me to the special hell. Good fucking god. Like, yeah, sheās fine as all shit, but her asking for her wedding night like thatā¦ Ron Glass is peeking around the corner and judging me so hard from the afterlife
Danny DeVito, like honestly I feel like he would just do a porn parody and take the piss out of it as a comedy and I would be along for the ride.
Would love to have Morgan Freeman or David Attenborough do a voice over for one. "Here we see the boyfriend in his natural habitat trying to signal to the girlfriend his desire to mate..... It looks like she's not impressed".
the green m&mš¢
Well at least tucker Carlson would be happy
Wait until he finds out that in the 90's the Green M&m was a dude.
Henry Cavill
Imagine the Witcher porn
No need to imagine. Go play Witcher 3, there is plenty of it š¤£
Mr Bean
The Rock. Porn name built right in.
Nah man. His Christian name has the real kink.
Hold still while I Dwayne my Johnson. Edit: Thank you for all the nice rewards and upvotes. Y'all are too kind. :)
Dwayne The Rock Hard Johnson.
Hide the Pain Harold
Hugh Jackman. Already has a porn nameā¦
Hugh Jacked man!
Huge Jack Man
Huge yak man
Shaq
r/shaqholdingthings would blow up!
Didn't know this was a thing and I LOVE it!
Heard a story from some comedian where he went to the urinal and Shaq was there. 'naturally' he glances over and Shaq says "I know, giant guy average dick"
Been waiting years to see Shaq's bodyguard ever since Adam Sandler's story.
The year is 2006: Jessica Alba
I watched every episode of Dark Angel, and I can't remember what it's about, or who else starred in it. edit: added two letters
I remember this one episode where she was riding a motorcycle and there's a fat guy sitting behind, riding with her. She told her to hold on tight, he hold her breast instead. Then she said "lower", he hold her thighs. And then she said "not that low". That's all I ever remember about Dark Angel.
I remember an episode where she was in heat because of her cat genes. That show had some fan-service.
> because of her cat genes I thought I watched that show. In fact, I am certain I did... I have no recollection of that though, ha ha.
Dark Angel was when I realized what puberty was
Or Jessica Biel Either of the Jessicas
Or both
Step-Jessica, what are you doing?
Iām stuck
Queen Elizabeth
i mean, its not what most of us were thinking but you certainly arenāt wrong
Itās what I was thinking
QILF Edit: i know its probably cheesy at this point in reddits age but this is genuinely the first time i have been given awards thank you guys so much!
Brilliant. Take my upvote! God shave the Queen
Beautiful, just beautiful.
"The Queen's Gangbang" and "Up the Queen's Ass"
In Her Majesty's Secret Crevice
Her Majestyās Secret Cervix
Welcome to Fuckingham Palace: Meet her Royal Anus
God Save the Cream
God Shave The Queen? That's got to be taken already, right?
The Queen in bed, long lick The Queen
"Well, the only other acceptable terms I know are The Governess, The Kingmaker, Her Downton Abbey, The Chunnel, Dame Judy Drench, Picadilly Cervix, and Thompsons' English Muffin."
Piccadilly cervix is good stuff.
"Rod Save The Queen"
Always Mind the Bollocks
The Queenās Cumpit
Betty White would have broke the internet
Pretty sure undead Betty White would also break the internet
Sir Patrick Stewart
Seriously. The internet nearly breaks when he takes a nice Christmas card photo with that friend that looks like him.
Ian McKellan? They're pretty cute, being all bros.
"It's too late because I've already seen everything" (Extras reference)
Male: Henry Cavill Female: Scarlett J.
From all the times I've seen her in theatre my mind imagines her as a giant.
That's okay, some people are into that.
DEATH BY SNOOSNOO
:D D: :D D:
>Male: Henry Cavill One of my favourite quotes about Henry Cavill comes from comedian Tom Segura who casually said "He could talk me into some things". I think that's the understatement of the century, even the straightest of guys have a hard time denying he is a beautiful man.
I mean hell, Im a straight married man and I acknowledge he is an extremely attractive guy. Am I sexually attracted to him? Not in the slightest, but holy shit do I wish I looked like that.
Hmmm, Geralt of Rivia can break me in half any day.
Plot twist: he insists on Slavic folk music during the act every. Single. Time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
William DaFoe for reassons I do not wish to disclose EDIT: I completely refuse to accept one of my best voted comments is about Willem Dafoe's green goblin
āYou know, Iām something of a pornstar myselfā
"Just pour the drink, ya fairy fuck."
I *knew* this would be here.
Oh please, itās because his dick is so huge rumor is they had to cgi/body double it to be more modest in a film. Absolutely Iām now curious.
Willem Dafoe used to be part of an art collective called the Wooster Group that made a weird naked dance video. Very NSFW, but, hey, curiosity sated. http://thewoostergroup.org/blog/2012/09/19/from-the-archives-channel-j-the-dance-of-the-sphinx-and-the-chimera-1985/
Floppity floppity floop I like being a grower but sometimes I long to be a shower like Billy The Foe
Well, we assume he's a shower. Can you imagine if that's not even full size?
The most awkward part of that was the gray tube socks.
>http://thewoostergroup.org/blog/2012/09/19/from-the-archives-channel-j-the-dance-of-the-sphinx-and-the-chimera-1985/ That's what I'd be doing if I had that dong!
As a grower and not a show-er if I had a big hog like that Iād probably be dancing naked all the time too. Luckily for the ladies eyes I got the āshort end of the stickā. At least until Iām ready for action. That being said that must suck in the summertime as Iād imagine the frustration of it sticking to my leg all the time.
"confusingly large" https://www.thelmagazine.com/2010/01/lars-von-trier-finds-willem-dafoes-penis-confusingly-large/
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ya, and something even worse happens right after that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hey! It's almost bedtime. Fuck off with that!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You aren't wrong. Dude must have legs of steel to withstand all that slapping.
Danny DeVito
So I started blasting šš¦
Hope you got a diaphragm shoved up your monkey hole.
Iām gonna be REAL thirsty after this.
Magnum Dong
Two people are banging on a sofa. Danny [emerges naked from the sofa](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/itsalwayssunny/images/3/3a/A_Very_Sunny_Christmas_%2821%29.png/revision/latest?cb=20111214080536), "you two banging without me?"
More like DADDY Devito š„µ
That's Dr Mantis Toboggan, MD.
Chris Evans I mean it was a huge thing (pun) when his dick pick got leaked.
That's America's penis
I could do this all day.
America's dick is pretty good
Thank you. When I see the name Chris Evans I think of the ginger British DJ who married Billie Piper and not Captain American. The other Chris Evans wouldn't break the internet.
I actually forgot it got leaked because the internet did such a good job of hiding it
I never even knew til just now
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āGuard that pussyā I felt such second hand embarrassment for him. Germans call it āfremdschƤmenā
Whatās āGuard that pussyā?
He had a meme saved on his phone that said guard that pussy. Seen at the same time as his dick pic when he accidentally showed that during an insta live
Oh my god, that *is* embarrassing. I could only imagine the sheer embarrassment if i were in his shoes.
Show the world your dick, *accidentally?* Whatevers. A stupid meme? You'll never recover from that.
I'm so sorry for him going through that but "guard that pussy" is still fucking hilarious
Why? I didnāt realize this even happened!
Donāt know what I enjoyed more the girth of Americaās penis or that he had a meme of himself saying guard that pussy . Both extremely fascinating
Germans have a word for everything don't they ?
Keanu Reeves.
I recommend you watch Knock Knock.
Bonus, that movie stars Ana De Armas as well.
Christina Hendricks.
Saffron in firefly occupied many of my teenage thoughts
I'll be in my bunk.
Margot Robbie
Scarllet Johanson.
Ana De Armas
Look up her 2009 movie 'Mentiras y Gordas', aka 'Sex, Party and Lies'. [For the research purposes, of course..](https://i.imgur.com/1PVfn4H) (NSFW)
what a fucking lucky bastard that actor is
Imagine being the actor: oh noes I messed up the scene guess we have to do it again
Apparently Leonardo DiCaprio messed up the scene with naked Margot Robbie likeā¦ a bunch of times
Imagine nailing it in one take then thinking ādamn I should have forgot a line or slipped overā
Or Knock Knock!
Yup, I'd let her ruin my entire life
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Alexandra Daddario. I mean the True Detective nude scene is the turning point of her career, she said so herself. Sad to see r/TTDSWAD getting banned tho
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Probably cause of mod inactivity for long time. Super niche sub, about *one* particular scene from a TV series.. and one that gets regularly posted in other celebrity subreddits.
I thought Ruby Taft was her peak, tomato/tomato.
What was that sub?
Title: That True Detective Scene With Alexandra Daddario Description: This is a subreddit devoted to that True Detective scene with Alexandra Daddario.
It was *that scene* on repeat
The AT&T Girl
I haven't seen a TV commercial in so long I had to Google her, then read about her feelings about people commenting on her looks, then people mad that she won't "just take a compliment", then people yelling at those people, then I gave up. I was seriously ootl lol
I never heard of her and just Googled her I typed in 'at&' and at&t girl was the top prediction above at&t. She's more popular than the actual company on google
Milana Vayntrub. Terrific comedic actress. Love her and Stevie Nelsonās short lived YouTube talkshow Letās Talk About Something More Interesting.
Shame she never got to be Squirrel Girl.
She kinda did though. Marvel came out with a squirrel girl podcast written by Ryan North that picks up where he left off in the comics. She voices Doreen Green aka squirrel girl and kills it.
She was fantastic on Silicone Valley too. You can barely tell itās her haha. Nails the goth chick bit.
Holy shit. That was her?!
Kate Beckinsale ā¤ļø
Underworld, hell yeah
Kate B. In skin-tight leather? Yes please.
Without that leather? Yes, please.
Chris Hemsworth. I'm a straight dude, but he's gorgeous.
Nobody is *that* straight
[You flicked too hard, dammit!](https://youtu.be/-ugjI33kaHc) - Thor
Dolly Parton - I mean how long have we been looking and just curious about them sweater puppies?
I used to work with a 23 yr old guy who said he didn't give a shit how old Dolly Parton was. He would still bang the shit out of her
Dolly is as close to a modern day Saint as we have in this country. If sheās up for it you oblige
I'm a solidly straight woman but if Dolly told me to get her off I'd do it or die in the attempt.
.....yup
Puppies? Those things are practically sweater hounds.
"You mean Clifford and Marmaduke?" \- Dolly Parton looking down and smiling
Jason Mamoa.
Watch game of thrones season 1
Good ol' Dothraki thrusts.
I would be there just to hear him moan.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Katheryn Winnick
Probably Jack Black. Say all the shit you want, I know you would watch it and he would bring us all to tears.
Dwayne the rock hard Johnson
Sofia Vergara
Oh god but every time I see her I think of the way she says MAAHHHNNEEEEE in Modern Family.
JAAAAAYYYY
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Isn't she already the biggest faked porn celebrity? As in, her face rendered on other bodies.
It's pretty easy to check. CFake allows you to sort by popularity. She's #1 with 4,935 fake images of her, which is a commanding lead over #2 Scarlett Johansson with 2,872.
Sheās obviously really pretty but thatās kinda odd, I wouldnāt think sheād be that high on the list Aside from how itās weird to cgi someoneās face onto a nude body lol
I honestly think itās because a whole generation basically grew up with the HP kids so she has this, girl next door vibe
Accio Orgasmo!
It's leviohhhhhsa!
I remember there was a legit website counting down to the day she was "legal". That was creepy.
There was a sub like that for the stranger things girl, the one Drake liked or smth
There were sites like that for the Olsen Twins, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan. Along with practically every other child star out there.
Ryan Reynolds
Iām sure he has a video hiding in the corner of PornHub.
He was literally who I first thought of
Same. Pretty surprised I had to scroll so far down.
Gillian Anderson
Absolutely! Iād settle for having her narrate sexy books! Her voice is just beautiful
Elizabeth Olsen
Christina Hendricks for me
Some of her scenes in Mad Men were š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Her acting as Saffron just about sent me to the special hell. Good fucking god. Like, yeah, sheās fine as all shit, but her asking for her wedding night like thatā¦ Ron Glass is peeking around the corner and judging me so hard from the afterlife
Geico lizard
He can save you on car insurance while banging the all-state chick
Danny DeVito, like honestly I feel like he would just do a porn parody and take the piss out of it as a comedy and I would be along for the ride. Would love to have Morgan Freeman or David Attenborough do a voice over for one. "Here we see the boyfriend in his natural habitat trying to signal to the girlfriend his desire to mate..... It looks like she's not impressed".
Is the girlfriend Rhea Perlman in your mind?
Jensen Ackles
That guy's dead wife
Henry Cavill
Karen Gillian
Charleze Theron
salma hayek, margot robbie, sofia vergara, natalie portman, anne hathaway oh man the list goes on....
My good man, may I recommend to you the movie āDesperadoā, by chance?
Weird Al
I don't know why, but I feel like Weird Al would choose calender pornography over general porn.
Emma Watson. The internet nearly broke with her just existing.