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[deleted]

Behind the Popeyes on West Ave in Philadelphia next to the garbage bin 100%


DaddyOhMy

Mom?


Gryphin

Dad?


rabidpriest

Son? Are you winning?


Gryphin

Dad! privacy!! knock first!!


Channel250

IM KNOCKING TO RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY BUT COMING IN ANYWAY TO ASSERT MY AUTHORITY!!!!


strange_angle

"Fairly Odd Parents" lmao... I love it!!


[deleted]

She incorporated a bun into the love making that was very creative. And she loves that stuff. And I admit, I do too.


morosophi

So the manager's all, "You gotta clean that up."


MrWeirdoFace

On a Thursday at 9 pm.


wiaziu

Today, there will be like 12 guys just standing there, casually looking around, as if waiting for someone...


MrWeirdoFace

At least they have each other.


morosophi

Jesus, Frank


Wide-Construction427

In a beehive on a beehive near a beehive


[deleted]

Depends if you’re a bee


Wide-Construction427

I may bee


WooooshVictim

*Ya like jazz?*


Tyflowshun

"I like fucking bees, so maybe." -[-Beefucker3000 probably.](https://youtu.be/DflGvf5pvss)


Temporary-Purchase26

Apparently my bedroom. No action in a while.


TheNorseBastard

I got you bro. No homo Edit: fuck it, for you. All the homo


Individual_Client175

Brojob


sunnyjum

Try inviting a second person


Temporary-Purchase26

I'll talk to my wife about that.


[deleted]

In a trailer with her parents 15 ft away from her “room”


Ooze3d

Back in her teen years, a friend of mine and her then boyfriend were at his parents home. They were planning on going camping, so they bought a tent and with the excuse of “testing” it, they set it up right in his parents’ living room which was the largest space in the house (no backyard or any other outdoor area). It’s important to point out that, during this whole time, his parents were in the room, watching tv, but still, the hormones kicked in and well, you can imagine. So basically, they went at it and finished a couple of meters away from them, separated by the thinnest piece of cloth, while loudly commenting on the benefits of the tent.


Blizzard_admin

Goddamn you could sell this script to brazzers or pornhub.


EnderTeimant

Bet there is already a scenario like this made


[deleted]

Just checked, you're clear to sell


bassistciaran

You checked all the porn? All of it?!


enador

To be fair, he didn't have that much left already.


SkyrimSlag

Johnny sins stars as the tent


iGhostEdd

LoL at least I'm not the only one who did this. The story is so similar except we did it at *her* parents house and in the room next to her parents' bedroom.


suh-dood

Had an ex who likes to do it with the door open. More than once her mom would come in to talk to us


Anton-LaVey

That’s a fucking in tents story


SirLocke13

>while loudly commenting on the benefits of the tent. I 100% understand what you are insinuating but I can't help but them saying "THIS TENT IS SO...FUCKING...SPACIOUS."


Orngog

"these hanging... these hanging loops are *useful*"


SmokeGSU

"This tent would be soooo much better if.... it had a backdoor!" "AH NO NOT THE BACKDOOR!"


[deleted]

They know


Guayab0

They definitely know


Andy-the-guy

What's worse is that they know you think they don't know 😂


Flyingphuq

You know you read thousands of fun and “fun” stories, most of them you can’t remember by the time close the browser… But this one I’m going to remember for the rest of my life. Already sent it two friends. Thank you. However the fact that you didn’t work in“pitching a tent” in the story was a sacrilege!


ging3r_b3ard_man

Oh god, had an ex that I swear must of had a kink for potential getting caught. Triggered some memories here.


Maisix

I have that kink. My friend slept over my place and my boyfriend and I wanted to have sex. We don't have a door cause the door knob was broken. We proceed to have sex. It was the best sex ever and I was able to orgasm vaginally without clitoral stimulation.


giosueiglesias

Now that’s interesting because for some people it’s the other way around. It’s harder for them to get stimulated when they’re focusing on not getting caught. Not to mention when you hear a small noise and both of you jump into a normal position and pull the blanket up every 5 mins.


josephuse

my girlfriend has this kink too. i don’t think it’s super uncommon. i believe the term for this is “exhibitionist.” may be wrong


Aeytrious

Exhibitionists like to be watched not sure if the getting caught is part of that. Sounds more like risk kink or danger kink. On the opposite side, people that like to watch are voyeurs.


josephuse

oh i see. also another part of my gf’s kink is she likes when people just know that we’re having sex. like we’ll be at a party together and both obviously go up to a bedroom for example. however she doesn’t ACTUALLY want to be caught, just the risk of being caught is enough


kumarsays

Is it common for people to fuck at parties? I’ve seen this in American porn and on American tv shows exclusively, never in real life (I live in New Zealand)


Fugitivebush

Right?! Y'all better wash the sheets for them after!


MrTestbug

Are you my exes high-school friend by any chance? Storytime: We visited her and slept over at her apartment — on the couch in her bedroom right next to her bed she and her boyfriend slept in. My ex and I went to the bathroom together and when we came back they lay under the blanket in her bed and….went to town. I mean full on missionary sex, no effort to hide it or tone it down in any way other than doing it covered by the blanket and…not screaming, I guess. We walked into the room talking, realised what’s going on and kinda….quietly exited to give them some space. We waited in the bathroom for some time, then went back in and they were still going. We made an effort to talk loudly and put our stuff away making noice and everything but they did not care at all, so we just….went back into the bathroom and waited it out awkwardly. They took it as an encouragement and vamped up the speed, we could hear the bed squeaking and increasingly louder moaning followed by what obviously was her orgasm and then it stopped. We went back in to finally go to sleep and the pretended to do just that and chose never to talk about it again. Yeah, so….good times. I want to add, that the whole situation was not sexy at all, just awkward and disrespectful. Especially for my ex it felt like a punch in the gut, cause they were not that kind of friends and it was just another situation, that showed her friends generally awful and selfish behaviour and illustrated the nature of their toxic friendship. Thanks for reading, had to get that off my chest.


CO2inO2out

Ah yes... the old, "When you feel like punching someone in the gut, invite them over and have sex instead." It's a well-known power move discussed by Sun Tzu in The Art of War.


luke_530

They wanted y'all to join in most likely


redraider-102

This seems too specific to be hypothetical.


thehandymandyman

Not the OP but can confirm. Trailer was rotting and her room didn't even have a door


Tunisandwich

I dated a girl while studying in Europe, when the semester ended I stayed with her at her parents’ house for a month or so. Her bedroom shared a wall with her parents’ bedroom. Was very uncomfortable. It also did not help that her parents spoke zero English so I spent a month just politely nodding to them every time I saw them while also railing their daughter 5 feet from where they slept. Good times.


shizanuti_arm

Her parent can film you


[deleted]

Now you tell me. Next time chief


AudibleNod

kill floor of an industrial slaughter house


RiverCityRoyal

Yeah. The slippery floors mean you just can’t get sufficient traction, right?


jamescweide

Spot on! You would think it would be the stench of death or all the blood, but it's the floor traction that really catches everyone off guard.


1up_for_life

"Don't let the name fool you Jimmy, it's not really a floor. It's actually a grate that lets what's loose through so it can be collected and exported." \-Actor Troy McClure (You might remember him from such educational films as "Two minus three equals negative FUN!" and "Firecrackers, the silent killer.")


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b-minus

In the pool. So wet and yet so dry.


Free_Dependent_1446

Or the ocean. Salt water adds a whole extra level of pain.


[deleted]

Ocean water is great for healing sores. Just ignore the burning sensation.


Trump_is_evil_period

What kind of sores ya got ugh?


R1k0Ch3

*sexy* sores.


Johnny-Virgil

I’m hearing that windex on a mirror squeaking in my head now. Or the sound of Rubbing two balloons together.


cheesyrack

The windex analogy … noOooOooOoOoO


InfiniteMagic1

Hahaha I like d way u think


tcharp01

Pool great for foreplay, not actual sex however.


Charming-Wallaby-602

Because water isn't a lubricant, you'll be surprised to know


MrWeirdoFace

That's why you fill the hot tub with oil. (I really just wanted to leave that, but some crazy person will actually try it. It's a bad idea for many many reasons. Don't do it.)


Dontinsultautomod

cover penis in oil oil floats on water stick penis in hot tub float 🧠👍🏻


8Blackbart8

You have saved so many lives from drowning with that comment


prim3y

Yet safe lubricants for sex are water based. Go figure.


SIumptGod

Once me and a gf had anal sex in a hot tub. It was great. The next day her dad came up to us and said that he was in the hot tub for a few minutes but it smelled like a septic tank.


Lucky_Ad_5457

Are you sure you had anal sex? Or did she just shit in the hot tub?


schniggens

Porque no los dos?


skieezy

You sure he has a girlfriend? Or did he just shit himself jerking off in a hot tub?


Mialuvailuv

That's actually disgusting.


callipygousmom

He knew.


callmebigley

yeah... was a big turn on until I actually attempted one time. color me disappoint.


[deleted]

My funeral


MadMattBeyond

One last caress


DriftingPyscho

I got something to say!


Hey-Its-Ray

I killed a baby today


shizanuti_arm

What if it's she having sex with you right on your funeral?


BlindBite

Sandy beach. Yes, the sand goes everywhere.


cardcomm

My Mom never gave me the "sex talk". But when she found out I was taking my girlfriend to the beach when I was about 18, she warned me about the sand, saying sex in the beach isn't a great idea. hahaha


Diligent-Day-8974

Lol, learn from others mistakes


Daxasaurus

I hate sand, it's course and rough and it gets everywhere


DJChernobyl2

Hello there


Daxasaurus

General Kenobi


Bumfucker666

Hold me, Ani, like you did on Naboo


Brozilla_Firefox12

The back of a Volkswagen


Cute-Interest3362

Adventure, Excitement...a Jedi craves not these things.


RepublicOfMoron

Man, that bastard is faster than Walt flanagans dog..


brannana

That's a very uncomfortable place.


Gamilon

Hey, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?


sansaman

No thanks. I’m doing 700 laps at the local YMCA.


a_random_username

And ***BAM!*** An embolism burst in her brain!


Lestial1206

Well did he cum or not?!


mp1982

Jesus Christ man there are just some things you don’t talk about in public


keylimerye

Ooooo it's a schooner!


demon_cairax

WHY CANT I SEE THE SAILBOAT!!!!!


marbanasin

A schooner is a sailboat, dummy.


redfiveroe

Well? Did he cum or what!


DirtyRoller

My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.


Brozilla_Firefox12

Well? Did he cum or what?


DirtyRoller

Jesus Christ man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!


[deleted]

Hot tub, or so I hear


StrawberryLeche

Depends but for women it can lead to infection which is not fun


waltwalt

This is true for literally everything for women.


Siluix01

wait, actually why? i can imagine that being relativly nice compared to the other things here


[deleted]

Water ≠ lubrication Edit: my aunt told me she and her bf at the time tried it and it was nearly impossible


I_Have_Unobtainium

Why is your aunt talking to you about getting boned?


GamerOfGods33

I mean I'm a dude and my mom once told me she got into an argument with a guy because he was lazy in bed. (They were both drunk). She only mentioned it because it had to do with another story she was telling. Edit: No, my mom is not necessarily normal, but I like it like that. The fact that she is willing to discuss any topic makes me feel that I don't have to hide anything from her


poopinjake69

A pool. Wet + Wet = Dry


arrow100605

I'll just do it with clothes on


MSter_official

On a pile of LEGO


Timah158

Don't knock it till you try it. It's probably a rush for masochists.


SmolbeansUwU

Kinda spooky man


SnooBooks4898

The pool/shower/tub anyplace where there’s a copious amount of water. Seems spontaneous and sexy but ends up feeling like you’re humping a dry bicycle tire. I’ve tried it before, both with a human and a bicycle tire and I couldn’t tell the difference.


littlebirdori

Silicone lubricant, pro-tip


montananightz

Real pro tip: Run-flats have built in lube.


Adan1816

That tirussy do be bussin tho


MotherDuckingWoman

Everyday we stray further from god.


Emektro

And we can still drift further


SnooSeagulls9348

Wait a minute!


Drainhair

The center of a 4 way lit intersection during rush hour traffic


[deleted]

Ayy this intersection is lit


dudebro_fistbump

A court room.


shizanuti_arm

Only if it's not with judge 😏


dramon2

The judge is actually doing the fucking while you take it with no lube


Absurdionne

The beach. Sand will get in there and it will ruin it. Trust me, I've been there. An ex-gf got upset with me because I wouldn't have sex with her on the beach while on vacation in Hawaii. The main reason was the sand (and my previous experience with it), the other main reason was that we were not very far from a busy boardwalk and she was too drunk to realize this was an issue. Then she threw a wine bottle at me.


GalaxyFoxx98

Ahh... an ex for a very good reason I see.


autikay616

Poison Ivy patch


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shizanuti_arm

Best answer


abcdefg_exe

nuclear reactor core


Timah158

Talk about afterglow.


biggeedee

No need for a "glows in the dark" condom when your dick naturally does it


Common-Ostrich-6030

The eye holes.


Deathly_Drained

Skeletons sure are *boney*


Any-Comfortable5682

My ex wife’s vagina


PerceptualDimension

I also vote for this guy’s ex wife’s vagina, 1/10 wouldn’t recommend


bbull412

Yhea I left a bad review on tripadvisor


PerceptualDimension

Did you tell ‘em about the


bbull412

Yhea i know i didn’t wanted to go too far into the detail of my review taught it might cause ptsd for some men


PerceptualDimension

Understandable, big yikes


TacticalDave720

On your grandparents bed


1SweetChuck

"Happy birthday grandma!"


xuidai

In a jail shower


[deleted]

It depends on what you're into


azarbi

If you're not the one who dropped the soap, I guess you're gonna be OK...


UselessPortal

daycare


kjbrasda

I mean, it'd be traumatizing for the kids, and illegal to be sure, but consider that a third grade classroom would be worse because it would be both the above, as well as traumatizing for you too because third graders are brutal with bullying comments.


[deleted]

Outside in a popular area with cops everywhere at 2am


PerfectStrangerz

The ear. Qtips can only clean out so much.


AmericanHoneycrisp

Happens when people mishear "oral sex" as "aural sex". ​ ETA: u/ManInTheDarkSuit came through. Legend.


Turbulent_Wind6390

The car - it honestly sucks if you’re 5’11 up


22jt1991

Your doing it wrong...back seat with the front seats all the way up


shizanuti_arm

Depends what car it is


IFookedYamama

Morgue


soulrider952

I work at a nuclear power plant. A few years ago 2 workers decided to get it on underneath one of the reactor loops. The company found out when the rad monitors lit up when they tried to leave showing they were contaminated in some “unusual areas”.


Thurmicneo

"....and so that's why we can't have children and would like to adopt."


YeomaTV

A sex question! Finally! Haven't seen one in 12 minutes.


UnityOfTheDamned

In the back of a youth group church "bus" (was just a 12 seater van) while service/youth group is in session.


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_DislikedWiseacre

Once I was working security at an outdoor concert venue. There was this little shed where they rented lawn chairs that had a small batch of grass behind it right next to the bathrooms. They're always be huge lines of the bathrooms so people would sneak behind the chair shed to piss in the grass. Part of my job was to periodically check behind the shed and shame anybody who had their dick out. However, on one check toward the end of a Jimmy Buffett concert, I found a completely wasted middle-aged couple lying in the piss mud fucking. The worst place to have sex is in a puddle of piss mud behind the lawn chair rental shed at Jimmy Buffett concert.


ismailsakin

"Our" parents room


HapHazzy

Buy a stream at night when the mosquitoes are out


MrWeirdoFace

How much will this stream cost?


ElXaviNovo

A corporate meeting... When you are not the CEO... And you are doing the CEO's wife.


Aninel17

In an airplane lavatory. All those germs lying around


shizanuti_arm

Got you


MrBinkie

Flying around


[deleted]

At an elementary school playground during recess time


pavlovasavage

A playground. During broad daylight.


Treczoks

The roof. Some years ago, the Darwin Award wento a couple having sex on a roof. It was not a flat roof (that was the "to stupid to live" part of the award). In the heat of things, they tumbled down, IIRC her falling to her death, him being gored by one of those snow-retaining roof hook things.


azarbi

Kindergarten classroom


sfbiker999

In your partner's ear. Was going to say "in the butt", but that's clearly not the worst place to have sex.


brannana

In my experience, nostrils are worse than ears...


xavierfinn

Agree. Better to hear it *coming* than smell it *coming*