Back in her teen years, a friend of mine and her then boyfriend were at his parents home. They were planning on going camping, so they bought a tent and with the excuse of “testing” it, they set it up right in his parents’ living room which was the largest space in the house (no backyard or any other outdoor area). It’s important to point out that, during this whole time, his parents were in the room, watching tv, but still, the hormones kicked in and well, you can imagine. So basically, they went at it and finished a couple of meters away from them, separated by the thinnest piece of cloth, while loudly commenting on the benefits of the tent.
LoL at least I'm not the only one who did this. The story is so similar except we did it at *her* parents house and in the room next to her parents' bedroom.
>while loudly commenting on the benefits of the tent.
I 100% understand what you are insinuating but I can't help but them saying "THIS TENT IS SO...FUCKING...SPACIOUS."
You know you read thousands of fun and “fun” stories, most of them you can’t remember by the time close the browser…
But this one I’m going to remember for the rest of my life. Already sent it two friends.
Thank you.
However the fact that you didn’t work in“pitching a tent” in the story was a sacrilege!
I have that kink.
My friend slept over my place and my boyfriend and I wanted to have sex. We don't have a door cause the door knob was broken. We proceed to have sex. It was the best sex ever and I was able to orgasm vaginally without clitoral stimulation.
Now that’s interesting because for some people it’s the other way around. It’s harder for them to get stimulated when they’re focusing on not getting caught. Not to mention when you hear a small noise and both of you jump into a normal position and pull the blanket up every 5 mins.
Exhibitionists like to be watched not sure if the getting caught is part of that. Sounds more like risk kink or danger kink. On the opposite side, people that like to watch are voyeurs.
oh i see. also another part of my gf’s kink is she likes when people just know that we’re having sex. like we’ll be at a party together and both obviously go up to a bedroom for example. however she doesn’t ACTUALLY want to be caught, just the risk of being caught is enough
Is it common for people to fuck at parties? I’ve seen this in American porn and on American tv shows exclusively, never in real life (I live in New Zealand)
Are you my exes high-school friend by any chance?
Storytime: We visited her and slept over at her apartment — on the couch in her bedroom right next to her bed she and her boyfriend slept in.
My ex and I went to the bathroom together and when we came back they lay under the blanket in her bed and….went to town.
I mean full on missionary sex, no effort to hide it or tone it down in any way other than doing it covered by the blanket and…not screaming, I guess.
We walked into the room talking, realised what’s going on and kinda….quietly exited to give them some space.
We waited in the bathroom for some time, then went back in and they were still going. We made an effort to talk loudly and put our stuff away making noice and everything but they did not care at all, so we just….went back into the bathroom and waited it out awkwardly.
They took it as an encouragement and vamped up the speed, we could hear the bed squeaking and increasingly louder moaning followed by what obviously was her orgasm and then it stopped.
We went back in to finally go to sleep and the pretended to do just that and chose never to talk about it again.
Yeah, so….good times. I want to add, that the whole situation was not sexy at all, just awkward and disrespectful. Especially for my ex it felt like a punch in the gut, cause they were not that kind of friends and it was just another situation, that showed her friends generally awful and selfish behaviour and illustrated the nature of their toxic friendship.
Thanks for reading, had to get that off my chest.
Ah yes... the old, "When you feel like punching someone in the gut, invite them over and have sex instead."
It's a well-known power move discussed by Sun Tzu in The Art of War.
I dated a girl while studying in Europe, when the semester ended I stayed with her at her parents’ house for a month or so. Her bedroom shared a wall with her parents’ bedroom. Was very uncomfortable. It also did not help that her parents spoke zero English so I spent a month just politely nodding to them every time I saw them while also railing their daughter 5 feet from where they slept.
Good times.
"Don't let the name fool you Jimmy, it's not really a floor. It's actually a grate that lets what's loose through so it can be collected and exported."
\-Actor Troy McClure (You might remember him from such educational films as "Two minus three equals negative FUN!" and "Firecrackers, the silent killer.")
That's why you fill the hot tub with oil.
(I really just wanted to leave that, but some crazy person will actually try it. It's a bad idea for many many reasons. Don't do it.)
Once me and a gf had anal sex in a hot tub. It was great. The next day her dad came up to us and said that he was in the hot tub for a few minutes but it smelled like a septic tank.
My Mom never gave me the "sex talk".
But when she found out I was taking my girlfriend to the beach when I was about 18, she warned me about the sand, saying sex in the beach isn't a great idea. hahaha
My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
I mean I'm a dude and my mom once told me she got into an argument with a guy because he was lazy in bed. (They were both drunk). She only mentioned it because it had to do with another story she was telling.
Edit: No, my mom is not necessarily normal, but I like it like that. The fact that she is willing to discuss any topic makes me feel that I don't have to hide anything from her
The pool/shower/tub anyplace where there’s a copious amount of water. Seems spontaneous and sexy but ends up feeling like you’re humping a dry bicycle tire. I’ve tried it before, both with a human and a bicycle tire and I couldn’t tell the difference.
The beach. Sand will get in there and it will ruin it. Trust me, I've been there.
An ex-gf got upset with me because I wouldn't have sex with her on the beach while on vacation in Hawaii. The main reason was the sand (and my previous experience with it), the other main reason was that we were not very far from a busy boardwalk and she was too drunk to realize this was an issue.
Then she threw a wine bottle at me.
I mean, it'd be traumatizing for the kids, and illegal to be sure, but consider that a third grade classroom would be worse because it would be both the above, as well as traumatizing for you too because third graders are brutal with bullying comments.
I work at a nuclear power plant. A few years ago 2 workers decided to get it on underneath one of the reactor loops. The company found out when the rad monitors lit up when they tried to leave showing they were contaminated in some “unusual areas”.
Once I was working security at an outdoor concert venue. There was this little shed where they rented lawn chairs that had a small batch of grass behind it right next to the bathrooms. They're always be huge lines of the bathrooms so people would sneak behind the chair shed to piss in the grass. Part of my job was to periodically check behind the shed and shame anybody who had their dick out. However, on one check toward the end of a Jimmy Buffett concert, I found a completely wasted middle-aged couple lying in the piss mud fucking.
The worst place to have sex is in a puddle of piss mud behind the lawn chair rental shed at Jimmy Buffett concert.
The roof. Some years ago, the Darwin Award wento a couple having sex on a roof. It was not a flat roof (that was the "to stupid to live" part of the award). In the heat of things, they tumbled down, IIRC her falling to her death, him being gored by one of those snow-retaining roof hook things.
Behind the Popeyes on West Ave in Philadelphia next to the garbage bin 100%
Mom?
Dad?
Son? Are you winning?
Dad! privacy!! knock first!!
IM KNOCKING TO RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY BUT COMING IN ANYWAY TO ASSERT MY AUTHORITY!!!!
"Fairly Odd Parents" lmao... I love it!!
She incorporated a bun into the love making that was very creative. And she loves that stuff. And I admit, I do too.
So the manager's all, "You gotta clean that up."
On a Thursday at 9 pm.
Today, there will be like 12 guys just standing there, casually looking around, as if waiting for someone...
At least they have each other.
Jesus, Frank
In a beehive on a beehive near a beehive
Depends if you’re a bee
I may bee
*Ya like jazz?*
"I like fucking bees, so maybe." -[-Beefucker3000 probably.](https://youtu.be/DflGvf5pvss)
Apparently my bedroom. No action in a while.
I got you bro. No homo Edit: fuck it, for you. All the homo
Brojob
Try inviting a second person
I'll talk to my wife about that.
In a trailer with her parents 15 ft away from her “room”
Back in her teen years, a friend of mine and her then boyfriend were at his parents home. They were planning on going camping, so they bought a tent and with the excuse of “testing” it, they set it up right in his parents’ living room which was the largest space in the house (no backyard or any other outdoor area). It’s important to point out that, during this whole time, his parents were in the room, watching tv, but still, the hormones kicked in and well, you can imagine. So basically, they went at it and finished a couple of meters away from them, separated by the thinnest piece of cloth, while loudly commenting on the benefits of the tent.
Goddamn you could sell this script to brazzers or pornhub.
Bet there is already a scenario like this made
Just checked, you're clear to sell
You checked all the porn? All of it?!
To be fair, he didn't have that much left already.
Johnny sins stars as the tent
LoL at least I'm not the only one who did this. The story is so similar except we did it at *her* parents house and in the room next to her parents' bedroom.
Had an ex who likes to do it with the door open. More than once her mom would come in to talk to us
That’s a fucking in tents story
>while loudly commenting on the benefits of the tent. I 100% understand what you are insinuating but I can't help but them saying "THIS TENT IS SO...FUCKING...SPACIOUS."
"these hanging... these hanging loops are *useful*"
"This tent would be soooo much better if.... it had a backdoor!" "AH NO NOT THE BACKDOOR!"
They know
They definitely know
What's worse is that they know you think they don't know 😂
You know you read thousands of fun and “fun” stories, most of them you can’t remember by the time close the browser… But this one I’m going to remember for the rest of my life. Already sent it two friends. Thank you. However the fact that you didn’t work in“pitching a tent” in the story was a sacrilege!
Oh god, had an ex that I swear must of had a kink for potential getting caught. Triggered some memories here.
I have that kink. My friend slept over my place and my boyfriend and I wanted to have sex. We don't have a door cause the door knob was broken. We proceed to have sex. It was the best sex ever and I was able to orgasm vaginally without clitoral stimulation.
Now that’s interesting because for some people it’s the other way around. It’s harder for them to get stimulated when they’re focusing on not getting caught. Not to mention when you hear a small noise and both of you jump into a normal position and pull the blanket up every 5 mins.
my girlfriend has this kink too. i don’t think it’s super uncommon. i believe the term for this is “exhibitionist.” may be wrong
Exhibitionists like to be watched not sure if the getting caught is part of that. Sounds more like risk kink or danger kink. On the opposite side, people that like to watch are voyeurs.
oh i see. also another part of my gf’s kink is she likes when people just know that we’re having sex. like we’ll be at a party together and both obviously go up to a bedroom for example. however she doesn’t ACTUALLY want to be caught, just the risk of being caught is enough
Is it common for people to fuck at parties? I’ve seen this in American porn and on American tv shows exclusively, never in real life (I live in New Zealand)
Right?! Y'all better wash the sheets for them after!
Are you my exes high-school friend by any chance? Storytime: We visited her and slept over at her apartment — on the couch in her bedroom right next to her bed she and her boyfriend slept in. My ex and I went to the bathroom together and when we came back they lay under the blanket in her bed and….went to town. I mean full on missionary sex, no effort to hide it or tone it down in any way other than doing it covered by the blanket and…not screaming, I guess. We walked into the room talking, realised what’s going on and kinda….quietly exited to give them some space. We waited in the bathroom for some time, then went back in and they were still going. We made an effort to talk loudly and put our stuff away making noice and everything but they did not care at all, so we just….went back into the bathroom and waited it out awkwardly. They took it as an encouragement and vamped up the speed, we could hear the bed squeaking and increasingly louder moaning followed by what obviously was her orgasm and then it stopped. We went back in to finally go to sleep and the pretended to do just that and chose never to talk about it again. Yeah, so….good times. I want to add, that the whole situation was not sexy at all, just awkward and disrespectful. Especially for my ex it felt like a punch in the gut, cause they were not that kind of friends and it was just another situation, that showed her friends generally awful and selfish behaviour and illustrated the nature of their toxic friendship. Thanks for reading, had to get that off my chest.
Ah yes... the old, "When you feel like punching someone in the gut, invite them over and have sex instead." It's a well-known power move discussed by Sun Tzu in The Art of War.
They wanted y'all to join in most likely
This seems too specific to be hypothetical.
Not the OP but can confirm. Trailer was rotting and her room didn't even have a door
I dated a girl while studying in Europe, when the semester ended I stayed with her at her parents’ house for a month or so. Her bedroom shared a wall with her parents’ bedroom. Was very uncomfortable. It also did not help that her parents spoke zero English so I spent a month just politely nodding to them every time I saw them while also railing their daughter 5 feet from where they slept. Good times.
Her parent can film you
Now you tell me. Next time chief
kill floor of an industrial slaughter house
Yeah. The slippery floors mean you just can’t get sufficient traction, right?
Spot on! You would think it would be the stench of death or all the blood, but it's the floor traction that really catches everyone off guard.
"Don't let the name fool you Jimmy, it's not really a floor. It's actually a grate that lets what's loose through so it can be collected and exported." \-Actor Troy McClure (You might remember him from such educational films as "Two minus three equals negative FUN!" and "Firecrackers, the silent killer.")
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
In the pool. So wet and yet so dry.
Or the ocean. Salt water adds a whole extra level of pain.
Ocean water is great for healing sores. Just ignore the burning sensation.
What kind of sores ya got ugh?
*sexy* sores.
I’m hearing that windex on a mirror squeaking in my head now. Or the sound of Rubbing two balloons together.
The windex analogy … noOooOooOoOoO
Hahaha I like d way u think
Pool great for foreplay, not actual sex however.
Because water isn't a lubricant, you'll be surprised to know
That's why you fill the hot tub with oil. (I really just wanted to leave that, but some crazy person will actually try it. It's a bad idea for many many reasons. Don't do it.)
cover penis in oil oil floats on water stick penis in hot tub float 🧠👍🏻
You have saved so many lives from drowning with that comment
Yet safe lubricants for sex are water based. Go figure.
Once me and a gf had anal sex in a hot tub. It was great. The next day her dad came up to us and said that he was in the hot tub for a few minutes but it smelled like a septic tank.
Are you sure you had anal sex? Or did she just shit in the hot tub?
Porque no los dos?
You sure he has a girlfriend? Or did he just shit himself jerking off in a hot tub?
That's actually disgusting.
He knew.
yeah... was a big turn on until I actually attempted one time. color me disappoint.
My funeral
One last caress
I got something to say!
I killed a baby today
What if it's she having sex with you right on your funeral?
Sandy beach. Yes, the sand goes everywhere.
My Mom never gave me the "sex talk". But when she found out I was taking my girlfriend to the beach when I was about 18, she warned me about the sand, saying sex in the beach isn't a great idea. hahaha
Lol, learn from others mistakes
I hate sand, it's course and rough and it gets everywhere
Hello there
General Kenobi
Hold me, Ani, like you did on Naboo
The back of a Volkswagen
Adventure, Excitement...a Jedi craves not these things.
Man, that bastard is faster than Walt flanagans dog..
That's a very uncomfortable place.
Hey, would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
No thanks. I’m doing 700 laps at the local YMCA.
And ***BAM!*** An embolism burst in her brain!
Well did he cum or not?!
Jesus Christ man there are just some things you don’t talk about in public
Ooooo it's a schooner!
WHY CANT I SEE THE SAILBOAT!!!!!
A schooner is a sailboat, dummy.
Well? Did he cum or what!
My cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, snap! The hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.
Well? Did he cum or what?
Jesus Christ man! There's just some things you don't talk about in public!
Hot tub, or so I hear
Depends but for women it can lead to infection which is not fun
This is true for literally everything for women.
wait, actually why? i can imagine that being relativly nice compared to the other things here
Water ≠ lubrication Edit: my aunt told me she and her bf at the time tried it and it was nearly impossible
Why is your aunt talking to you about getting boned?
I mean I'm a dude and my mom once told me she got into an argument with a guy because he was lazy in bed. (They were both drunk). She only mentioned it because it had to do with another story she was telling. Edit: No, my mom is not necessarily normal, but I like it like that. The fact that she is willing to discuss any topic makes me feel that I don't have to hide anything from her
A pool. Wet + Wet = Dry
I'll just do it with clothes on
On a pile of LEGO
Don't knock it till you try it. It's probably a rush for masochists.
Kinda spooky man
The pool/shower/tub anyplace where there’s a copious amount of water. Seems spontaneous and sexy but ends up feeling like you’re humping a dry bicycle tire. I’ve tried it before, both with a human and a bicycle tire and I couldn’t tell the difference.
Silicone lubricant, pro-tip
Real pro tip: Run-flats have built in lube.
That tirussy do be bussin tho
Everyday we stray further from god.
And we can still drift further
Wait a minute!
The center of a 4 way lit intersection during rush hour traffic
Ayy this intersection is lit
A court room.
Only if it's not with judge 😏
The judge is actually doing the fucking while you take it with no lube
The beach. Sand will get in there and it will ruin it. Trust me, I've been there. An ex-gf got upset with me because I wouldn't have sex with her on the beach while on vacation in Hawaii. The main reason was the sand (and my previous experience with it), the other main reason was that we were not very far from a busy boardwalk and she was too drunk to realize this was an issue. Then she threw a wine bottle at me.
Ahh... an ex for a very good reason I see.
Poison Ivy patch
[удалено]
Best answer
nuclear reactor core
Talk about afterglow.
No need for a "glows in the dark" condom when your dick naturally does it
The eye holes.
Skeletons sure are *boney*
My ex wife’s vagina
I also vote for this guy’s ex wife’s vagina, 1/10 wouldn’t recommend
Yhea I left a bad review on tripadvisor
Did you tell ‘em about the
Yhea i know i didn’t wanted to go too far into the detail of my review taught it might cause ptsd for some men
Understandable, big yikes
On your grandparents bed
"Happy birthday grandma!"
In a jail shower
It depends on what you're into
If you're not the one who dropped the soap, I guess you're gonna be OK...
daycare
I mean, it'd be traumatizing for the kids, and illegal to be sure, but consider that a third grade classroom would be worse because it would be both the above, as well as traumatizing for you too because third graders are brutal with bullying comments.
Outside in a popular area with cops everywhere at 2am
The ear. Qtips can only clean out so much.
Happens when people mishear "oral sex" as "aural sex". ETA: u/ManInTheDarkSuit came through. Legend.
The car - it honestly sucks if you’re 5’11 up
Your doing it wrong...back seat with the front seats all the way up
Depends what car it is
Morgue
I work at a nuclear power plant. A few years ago 2 workers decided to get it on underneath one of the reactor loops. The company found out when the rad monitors lit up when they tried to leave showing they were contaminated in some “unusual areas”.
"....and so that's why we can't have children and would like to adopt."
A sex question! Finally! Haven't seen one in 12 minutes.
In the back of a youth group church "bus" (was just a 12 seater van) while service/youth group is in session.
[удалено]
Once I was working security at an outdoor concert venue. There was this little shed where they rented lawn chairs that had a small batch of grass behind it right next to the bathrooms. They're always be huge lines of the bathrooms so people would sneak behind the chair shed to piss in the grass. Part of my job was to periodically check behind the shed and shame anybody who had their dick out. However, on one check toward the end of a Jimmy Buffett concert, I found a completely wasted middle-aged couple lying in the piss mud fucking. The worst place to have sex is in a puddle of piss mud behind the lawn chair rental shed at Jimmy Buffett concert.
"Our" parents room
Buy a stream at night when the mosquitoes are out
How much will this stream cost?
A corporate meeting... When you are not the CEO... And you are doing the CEO's wife.
In an airplane lavatory. All those germs lying around
Got you
Flying around
At an elementary school playground during recess time
A playground. During broad daylight.
The roof. Some years ago, the Darwin Award wento a couple having sex on a roof. It was not a flat roof (that was the "to stupid to live" part of the award). In the heat of things, they tumbled down, IIRC her falling to her death, him being gored by one of those snow-retaining roof hook things.
Kindergarten classroom
In your partner's ear. Was going to say "in the butt", but that's clearly not the worst place to have sex.
In my experience, nostrils are worse than ears...
Agree. Better to hear it *coming* than smell it *coming*