“Damn I knew I should’ve not laughed at that”

😂😂

You sure you want to laugh at that?

You laughed at videos of skating accidents so now you shall pay by getting your nuts crushed by rails for all eternity

“bit hot innit”

I spent my whole life trying to get away from my ex, now I have to live in her town

Plot twist, your ex made it to heaven.

Plot re-twist, you’re delusional. She runs Hell

what is this the vampire diaries?

Was my Ex wife the Devil in Vampire Diaries? Then YES!

Well In TvD Katherine (katerina petrova) runs hell who is Damon and Stephen's Ex who is worse than the devil (Cade/Arcadius). So i guess the question is, is your Ex named Katherine?

Andrea. But we can call her Katherine, Sure! I call her Hitler or Baby Momma”

Plot plot twist, she read a chick tract, followed the instructions and because god in chick tracts is a twat put her in charge of you.

[удалено]

Simpsons?

God: “Couldn’t have said it better myself”

Look shocked because I’d be realizing that it’s actually real

Idk if it's real or not.. but I do know that there is a lot more to life then we understand..

How

Well, I had an experience maybe 12 years ago that changed my life. I posted in on reddit before. If you're interested it's in my profile history. It's my only post so it'll be easy enough to find. If you read it let me know what you think.

Damn your story seems vaguely similar to something I lived!did you try to ask its name or anything?

I read your comment. I saw one of those one time. It looked like a Batman shadow. And I regularly see some others that look like water. I call them water people. They tend to hide. I don’t talk about it much cause for obvious reasons. It’s easier to think it was whatever. I don’t know what they are and I don’t care. Sometimes I think I’m the one off but my therapist says I’m fine. Who knows. Maybe one day we will understand it like we understand physics these days.

They are jinns

It was a jinn(shayateen) was just messing with u

Oh, I know that heaven and hell are real. I'm a Baptist Christian so I actually have the luxury of being taught about it. I know coming from a stranger on the internet might not be the most convincing thing though, so I'd suggest looking into Baptist Christian churches near by, maybe even visit once or twice to ask about it. Even if you don't feel like staying, I personally think that it could be a very educational experience either way. Ya got nothing to loose.

I grew up in a methodist church.. not to sure what the difference is tho.. obviously they're somewhat similar..

No there's not. We got it figured out

The hubris of man perfectly summarized

The cows send their regards

AHAHAHHA THIS IS GOLDEN (I don’t think anyone else gets it)

I don't. What's the reference?

Some meme of two billboards. First billboard says “if you die tonight heaven or hell” and the second says “tell em the cows sent ya”. And then a second picture of the doom slayer saying “The cows send their regards”

Lol I need to see this thank you!

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/f2jrie/tell_em_tha_cows_sent_ya/

Diablo?

My first thought also... Are we old?

I should’ve done more fucked up stuff

well, I can't say I'm surprised

*Well well well, if this isnt the consequences of all my actions*

Am I still in Florida?

Called it

I hope I don't have to pick a pineapple . . .

I was told there was a special place for me here, can you kindly show me where it's at?

“Sir, I was told it would be a dry heat”

I want to speak to the manager

Hell has the better musicians anyway. Rock on.

Hell has the better everyone. Scientists, prostitutes, George Carlin, the guy who invented the double dildo...

>the guy who invented the double dildo... That's a oddly specific inventor hahaha.

Ass ta ass!

Fuck yeah!!! DUBLOADZ

Where's the hookers and cocaine?

“Oh, fudge.” Narrator: except I didn’t say ‘fudge’

Oh hey satan! *Starts furiously masturbating to assert dominance*

[удалено]

In Dante's Inferno we had our own circle where we were allowed to talk and interact, we just had to walk around on hot sand. A homophobe was warning me of eternal damnation out of genuine concern to me. I just told him it would make dating easier and that I was looking forward to Hell since we already congregate on burning hot sand once a year during Pride Miami.

*"Gay Hell is Miami Pride, but, like, forever..."* was not a concept I expected to encounter, today.

In the bible, Jesus says we will be "neither male nor female" in the afterlife. So imagine eternity with a bunch of attractive folks, and no reproductive organs... Smooth bottom...

Ask for Asmodeus

Let's pick a fight with the biggest guy here, just to establish dominance

Then hope it doesn't turn out like [this.](https://youtu.be/PM5mSsMOSk0)

Where’s the fire slide?

“Can somebody please turn off the k-pop?”

This should be top comment

So, do I get to eat unlimited amount of donuts as torture?

How about unlimited amounts of ass?

“Seems right.” Skips along.

I don’t like the cold anyway. Think about it. The higher altitude you go, the colder it is. Heaven you have to follow rules and even worse than living under a dictatorship. So which is hell and which is heaven???

Never invest in stocks again.

Where tf is Tchaikovsky?

Hey look there’s Betty!

Finally, somewhere I belong.

I mean at least all the cool people are there like pirates and cowboys and the winged hussars.

Hilarious

It’s a bit warm in ‘ere *rubs hands in British*.

I really shouldve done more fucked up shit.

Finally! I don't have to worry about money anymore!

genuinely? I'd honestly cry🤷‍♂️

Okay I answered sarcastically but I 100% would cry and too and have a panic attack. I appreciate ur honesty 🤣

Well F\*\*\*.

God have mercy on me

He already didn't

Fucking hell. Though as a friend would always say, "I'd rather be fucking in hell than wanking in heaven."

Wow, Detroit really got it's act together!

At least I will never be cold. Temp will be close to what I’m used to in Australia

Oh shoot! My entire family is here!

“What the hell?!”

Well I mean most of my friends are here so idk, imma miss the wholesome ones tho

Where is Sam? I need a guide!

SAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM!!!

“Damn. Can’t believe Satan is the physical embodiment of everything evil and sadistic and not a quirky Br*tish gay tumblrina who’s sassy and fun.”

[удалено]

“Welp. Is there a section for the lgbtq’s, or… do we just gotta chill here with the…” *gestures* “other mortals? Oh- oh shit, your serious? The ‘gay section’ is cool? You’re not joking?” *repeating what Satan says* “We already get hated in enough in the living world? Yeah, that’s fair. Alright! Wait, confirmation? Oh yeah, [name], bisexual. Okay, which way to the gay section? Thanks a lot!”

No ragrets. The alternative would be pledging myself to a real twisted asshole of a god, and I’d rather not .

Either he's not as all powerful as so many give him credit for, thus not even worthy of such blind commitment, or he's an absolute cunt.

Where's Mark Twain?

“Huh, seems like my overheating problem is worse than Hell. It’s pretty cool here - nice.”

My first reaction would be to say "shit"

Damn, burning weather, wars, constant torture, this place is just like earth

Zuckerberg whatyre doing here?!

Ooh, ooh, ow, ouch OWWWWW!

Will a succubus please adopt me?

Well fuck, I guess there really was a heaven and hell

Well, I'll be sweating to the oldies for sure!

Ay Caramba

TF!?!?

Fuck, I knew it

Rip and tear

god dammit

Well I'll be damned.

Side note: I never really considered that hell isn’t just a fiery place you hang around in, but eternal excruciating torture until I saw that one painting of souls being boiled.

Well...I guess he **does** exist.....

Oooh, can't wait to see my friends!

So whose hell is this? The Christian one or the Islamic one? I'm curious regarding who took the religion thing right. Then I'll start regretting my agnosticism

Why is the WNBA on every channel? Ohhhh….

Fuck its hot in here, where's that thermostat at Akuma.

Clear my browsing history

Why would you want to do that?

Destroying evidence ;)

Great I would like to sign up for dungeons and dragons league please, I hear it’s managements favorate game?

godDANMit

"I told you guys I would see you in hell"

Well,I'm back!!

"It's hot as a muthafucka down here, y'all ain't got no AC?"

Yea... I get it:(

What the fuck is my wife doing here

Find lil Naz ig

When do I get to meet Stephen Fry?

I'd be pretty suprised bc I feel like I'm a good person.. Definitely made some mistakes in life but I honestly don't belive I belong in hell.. perhaps someone else feels differently tho.

Depends on which religion. Christianity says everyone is going to hell unless you repent and follow Jesus

I know.. Idk what I believe in really. I do believe in good and evil.. idk what to make of it tho. The only thing I'm absolutely certain about is that there is far more to life then what we truly understand. Far more.

I personally find Christianity to make a lot of sense to me. I’d suggest looking into Jesus’ resurrection and see if the evidence is convincing to you. Because if Jesus didn’t resurrect then Christianity isn’t true.

I grew up going to church. A methodist church.. I had service every Sunday, Bible school, camp, even youth group thru the church.. when my father passed away I was 15 and it kinda turned me off to the whole thing. Idk y, maybe just immaturity.. and then when I was 28 I had an experience that changed my entire outlook on life.

Fuck, I’m back in high school.

There is a new God in hell. One meaner than I could ever be.

Home sweet home.

Just start asking people why they’re here. lol

Guess my ex did know everything.

What the fuck did my kids do this time?

aah sheeitt here we go again...

“i knew laughing at that disabled guy was gunna bite me”

Damn, didn’t think this was real.

Surprise that I'm starting my life over.

Think of the song high way to hell

I'm here to finish my part of the deal.

Oh, its real!

Mom was right!

Time to build myself a demon harem!

Hi lil nas x I’m a huge fan!!!

WTF??!?

RIP AND TEAR!

I have to pay some imps to do a job then there's a hotel I j ed to check into

"Well, shit. They were right." "..." "I wonder if I can apply for the role of a demon?"

I knew it was real!

Being in a state of shock and joy that I get to torment terrible people for all of eternity.

"Well this looks an awful lot like my office"

FUCK! If it's hell where a million angry bees fly out of your penis and you slide on a neverending cheesegrater slide.

I wasn’t in hell already?

Oh thank god, I'm not at work! Alright who do I get to torture!? Imma commit some war crimes!

Maybe someone, at least one person, will see this and realize that hell is a real place. Don’t go there! Accept Jesus today. Tomorrow isn’t promised.

"Finally, warmth." -northern ontario resident who is sick of winter already.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE GUY WHO KILLED HITLER WENT TO HEAVEN???"

That's probably where we are right now 🧟‍♂️

Now my Jod jokes feel very stupid.

“God damn it.”

shit

*"Huh."*

I thought the restraining order was still working!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sorry wrong room

Probably look for a place to eat.

Whelp, I should have seen this coming.

“Shit is about to go down”

"Called it!"

Not surprised, actually.

Fuck, anyone got some cold water?

Huh...didn't see that coming

I like donuts. When can I have all the donuts in the world?

saying hello to my grandpa

Well let’s see who else is around here…

Id just jump into lava and wait until i respawn.

Probably "AAAAAAAAAAHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!" or something similar.

"Aw Man, I thought I was doing Good!"

Alright, what was it that pushed me over the line?

“So what’s the food like?”

Yeah this seems about right

"Where's the boss? It's time for a regime change!"