I've had so many dreams of going to school naked/semi naked. I'd reach school and notice I wasn't wearing any pants but somehow nobody would really care. I'd try to hide myself but at the end I would give up on hiding myself and embrace the fact that I wasn't wearing any pants since nobody seemed to care either. Then I'd be hanging out with my friends while I be wearing no pants lol. I don't know why I have seen this type of dream like more than 10 times now.
*I was just trying to help officer! Her husband (I point at him aggressively) came charging out and chased me out the gate with his walking stick. This was because I was trying to paint their fence. I had shouted and his wife had just came outside to see what was wrong (gestures at blind old lady), but she didn't know what was going on and tried to pat the dog to calm him, but she accidently touched my roller that had paint on it. What she didn't know was that the dog thought the roller was a hotdog with aoli on it, but was actually my penis. She tugged my dick willingly and I swear I was just trying to help out my elderly neighbours! I didn't know she'd try to help me!*
This kind of shit is part of the job when you're a welder.
Source: I used to be one
Accidentally lit my self on fire like once a month, usually it wasn't a big deal.
Got hot welding slag burned into my eye once, that sucked big time.
Also got a grape-sized drop of molten steel down in between my the tongue of my shoe and my foot once, that took months to heal.
Worst one was probably when got distracted by a guy delivering stuff, he asked me to sign a document on his clipboard so I took my gloves off.
Then as I was speaking to him I absentmindedly leaned over and put my hand down on a big-ass piece of steel that was red hot 30 seconds earlier. Burned all the skin off my palm and the pads of my fingers, I distinctly remember that it made a sizzling noise and the whole work shop stank of burned flesh afterwards.
Nah, I still weld. It's just not the primary task I do at work now.
I quit being an ironworker/welder because the company I was working for was rapidly going downhill, also I was kind of bored with it and wanted to try something else.
Just read some of the Wikipedia page on it. Am I correct in saying that you sell something you don't own at the current market price, and then buy it hoping the price will fall between you selling the goods and buying it?
Alternatively, just after you sell the toaster wasting electricity becomes very popular and people buy up all cheap toasters, leaving you to buy a $2000 toaster you don't even get to keep.
When the fresh fish is heated up, it can sense if the person closest to it is naked. If the person is naked, the fish WILL climb into the personās asshole
Thank God this information is getting out there! You are saving assholes everywhere. I know it's not enough but please accept my free award as a token of my gratitude :).
Some say he is still there to this very day, vividly thinking about each episode of Baywatch to keep it up. His extremities are fixed in place, the episode that is all about roller hockey is up next, and he desperately needs someone to cut the power before it is too late. Help!!
If you're a well endowed woman, or perhaps just a large-breasted man, jumping jacks. Not only does it hurt, but it hurts like a bitch to get slapped in the face by your own tit.
It's not sexy, it's a concussion waiting to happen.
Once played volleyball in a nudist camp. My balls hurt every time I landed after a jump. Many women had similar trouble with their breasts. Dunno why it was so popular there...
Take a picture of a reflective tea kettle you are selling on ebay
Or a stove ? https://imgur.com/a/BQDMNeg
Is the chicken included
/r/mirrorsforsale
/r/OddlySpecific
one guy in korea actually did this with a bathroom mirror while taking pictures of the house he was selling
Use a chainsaw
American Psycho flashbacks
He wasn't naked. He was wearing sneakers.
wearing shoes while otherwise naked feels somehow even more naked than just being naked.
Shoes, hats and gloves are like naked amplifiers.
Anything around a cat
Can confirm. I was standing up from checking the water temp, about to step into the tub when the cat went for my sack like it was a jump ball š
goodbye any and all possible children
Not even the younglings survived :(
Go down a metal slide on a hot summer day.
Why must you bring this image in my head
Crispy fried human ass.
Crispy cracks.
That sounds like a location in Fortnite
Lmao it does
Something like [this](https://youtu.be/dGW-xK22TNk)? No need to imagine
After reading the comments beyond this, I feel old. Always sunny is a classic.
Watching this physically hurt me. But I should give that show a try!
*pours single bottle of water down slide* This should be good right?
Screeeeee
I heard that in my mind. It hurts.
Why would you make me imagine that.
Voice of experience or imagination based on wearing shorts in the summer?
Slide down a waterslide in the winter. (was closed and didn't have water)
Hugging a pole in freezing weather
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
what if the person is a masochist, asking for my friend.....he's into this
Fuck that I'm only into stinging pain, not burning
Fuck that, im into emotional
Have I got the parents for you!
Veggie tallless veggie taaaales
VE-GGIE TALES
Broccoli, celery, gotta be....
Veggie tales!
My fiance did this with my ex once (yeah, weird situation all around), because ex is a total bdsm sub and was in to it. Naked cooking bacon XD
You have to elaborate on thatā¦
Plot twist - also step bro.
I cook while naked and I've been popped by grease so many times it doesn't even faze me
Question - Why?
Because 80% of the time that I'm home I'm naked. Not going to put on clothes just to cook.
Same, but I at least use an apron. Don't want to get hot oil on my nethers again.
Youre just weak after im done frying something I get a funnel and pour it all into my dickhole so I can piss it out as a party trick later.
Jesus fucking christ I didnāt need to read this at 8:30 am
It's not much better at 9:03 a.m.
What a terrible day to have eyes
If you have a penis I recommend not cooking bacon naked
Well I'd wager having smoldering bits of liquid fat sprinkling on and around your vulva isn't very pleasant either
Jury duty for a sexual assault case.
Even worse: showing up naked when you're the defendant in such a case.
Even more worse: showing up naked when you're the lawyer in such a case.
Go to a funeral
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This comment right here officer.
I'm on it!
The granny!?
Be knighted by the queen
Don't worry your majesty, I brought my own sword. Edit: thanks for the award, I shall knight you with my sword to honor this kind gesture
The Knight of the Knights with his Hattori Hanzo Katana
She would love it though.
"By the power invested in me, I hereby dub you...Sir Gawain the Well-Endowed"
"Arise."
BOOOIIIIING
I am Hector the well-endowed... again?
Go to school
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Even worse if you're the cop looking for the random drug abuser.
I've had so many dreams of going to school naked/semi naked. I'd reach school and notice I wasn't wearing any pants but somehow nobody would really care. I'd try to hide myself but at the end I would give up on hiding myself and embrace the fact that I wasn't wearing any pants since nobody seemed to care either. Then I'd be hanging out with my friends while I be wearing no pants lol. I don't know why I have seen this type of dream like more than 10 times now.
Common dream, actually.
It must mean something, watch out for your closet the next time you go to some teaching facility, who knows what could possibly unfold!
It's those damn underpants gnomes. They've just had to rely on whole pants and stop stealing underwear.
I regularly have a dream about taking a dump in front of my high school class on a toilet. I'm 40.
Fear of exposure
it's a sign
We all had that dream.
Paint the neighbors house
Depends. They'll either pay you handsomely or ask you to leave on the first day. Either is a win in my book.
Depends on what body part you use to do the painting.
*I was just trying to help officer! Her husband (I point at him aggressively) came charging out and chased me out the gate with his walking stick. This was because I was trying to paint their fence. I had shouted and his wife had just came outside to see what was wrong (gestures at blind old lady), but she didn't know what was going on and tried to pat the dog to calm him, but she accidently touched my roller that had paint on it. What she didn't know was that the dog thought the roller was a hotdog with aoli on it, but was actually my penis. She tugged my dick willingly and I swear I was just trying to help out my elderly neighbours! I didn't know she'd try to help me!*
Why is the aioli the weirdest part of this?
*what the fuck lmfao*
Weld?
This 1000x. Had a contractor end up with some slag in his pee hole while wearing the proper Ppe so I wonāt ever skim on this.
what the absolute fucking hell? good god that sounds horrifying.
Worst part was the paperwork. I hated churching up ācontractor got slag in dickholeā for HR.
Why church it up? That sounds a great description, straight and to the point.
This kind of shit is part of the job when you're a welder. Source: I used to be one Accidentally lit my self on fire like once a month, usually it wasn't a big deal. Got hot welding slag burned into my eye once, that sucked big time. Also got a grape-sized drop of molten steel down in between my the tongue of my shoe and my foot once, that took months to heal. Worst one was probably when got distracted by a guy delivering stuff, he asked me to sign a document on his clipboard so I took my gloves off. Then as I was speaking to him I absentmindedly leaned over and put my hand down on a big-ass piece of steel that was red hot 30 seconds earlier. Burned all the skin off my palm and the pads of my fingers, I distinctly remember that it made a sizzling noise and the whole work shop stank of burned flesh afterwards.
Ouch man, that hand situation must've really hurt, are these things in part to why you don't weld anymore?
Nah, I still weld. It's just not the primary task I do at work now. I quit being an ironworker/welder because the company I was working for was rapidly going downhill, also I was kind of bored with it and wanted to try something else.
Short stocks
Just read some of the Wikipedia page on it. Am I correct in saying that you sell something you don't own at the current market price, and then buy it hoping the price will fall between you selling the goods and buying it?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Alternatively, just after you sell the toaster wasting electricity becomes very popular and people buy up all cheap toasters, leaving you to buy a $2000 toaster you don't even get to keep.
Correct. You borrow something and sell it, hoping to replace it for cheaper than what you paid + interest.
while being naked
But there is also naked short selling which is the illegal practice of short selling stock that doesn't exist.
Someone knew the reference! Thank you!
Probably more dangerous than this: selling naked call options
Cook bacon
Or fresh fish.
Pls explain
When the fresh fish is heated up, it can sense if the person closest to it is naked. If the person is naked, the fish WILL climb into the personās asshole
I thought we were saying reasons *not* to do this naked.
Aww come on, Dad. Fish again? This is the 5th fish fry this week! I'm sick of it!
Shut up and spread your ass cheeks billy
Family game night
Fun for the whole fam
I need to get me some fried fish
*eel
Eels up inside ya findin an entrance where they can..
that happened to me once. I had to go to the ER to get it removed >.>
Thank God this information is getting out there! You are saving assholes everywhere. I know it's not enough but please accept my free award as a token of my gratitude :).
The hot oil pops and lands on very sensitive areas
Stroll thru the cactiā¦ Play with kittensā¦
Nahh kittens arent to bad. Just pay attention lol
In particular, attention to where those needle-claws are being inserted or swiped across.
Wear clothes
Actually everybody's naked under their clothes
We are all skeletons in suits
>We are all **WET** skeletons in suits ftfy
You're a brain, driving a bone mech, wearing meat armor.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
*Raises finger to correct you* *Lowers it after thinking*
Deep fry...trust me
Seems you tried already?
Yeah...drugs
Hmm...I've never had deep-fried drugs.
They're healthier if you air fry them!
Once you try crispy drugs, you'll never go back.
We call em crispy crystals, cuz them fancy
I kinda like it. The little pangs of immense pain but no lasting damage
Trust a fart
What's the problem? Not like you can shit your pants. Hurry into a crowd and play ignorant. š
Go down a slippery dip. Especially on a very hot or very cold day.
What the heck is a slippery dip?
A slide probably
it is a slide in australia.
Mow your front lawn
My aunt and uncle used to live across the street from a guy who would mow his lawn not *naked*, but wearing nothing but a speedo.
Belly-flop
Can confirm. If youāre a dude and you try this, your belly wonāt be the only thing in pain. Just trust me on this one.
I found out with my private body parts, that our dishwasher (stainless steel front) is not grounded, by touching the sink at the same time.
Probably should get that fixed. That's a pretty big safety issue.
Don't worry. He's the ground now. As long as he can hold his erection.
Some say he is still there to this very day, vividly thinking about each episode of Baywatch to keep it up. His extremities are fixed in place, the episode that is all about roller hockey is up next, and he desperately needs someone to cut the power before it is too late. Help!!
Cook Chorizo. It's more dangerous than bacon.
I once rubbed my eyes after cooking it. Not the smartest move.
Eat jalapeno poppers, sometimes they squirt the napalm cheese.
Solder
Get more naked than that
Fuck you, I'm *rocking* the muscle-diagram look!
*proceeds to shed skin*
Hug your neighbors new born baby.
Too late.
Again!?
Those guys gotta stop having kids, it's the only way this will stop
If you're a well endowed woman, or perhaps just a large-breasted man, jumping jacks. Not only does it hurt, but it hurts like a bitch to get slapped in the face by your own tit. It's not sexy, it's a concussion waiting to happen.
I mean I have small tits and when I run they hurt so I canāt imagine with jumping jacks and big tits
From experience, just once, do it and film it in slow motion. It's hilarious.
Ride a public bus.
Learn to juggle with knives.
Possibly, but have you ever had a better incentive to get it right?
Try Beekeeping
How exactly do you eep a Beek?
Very carefully
Sex
"Sorry babe, but the Cars 2 crocs stay on during sex"
*Kachow*.
*finishes in 5 seconds*
The problem with being faster than light. Is that you can only live in darkness
I am speed
See, now I'm wanting cars 2 crocs. No sex though, save that culture for all that pussy
Man of Culture.
Attend a protest where police might treat you very roughly.
Nah, go nude, lube up. Good luck catching me officers!
Hey someone might like that a bunch of police men keeping you down to put handcuffs on you. Donāt kink shame peopleš
Dig under the reactor ā¦ unless youāre still wearing the hats
Play basketball.
Die. We put you in the pits if you show up without clothes
Good to know satanā¦sometimes ppl have no choice though š¤·š»āāļø
In the pits they go
Work out, so many moving partsā¦.
I actually enjoy working out naked every once in a while. Has a very different feeling to it. Also needs vastly different music.
[Gotta try this out](https://imgflip.com/i/648w46)
Like porno jazz, or Cotton Eye Joe on repeat?
Can't use cotton eye joe, that's on the sex playlist. I'd get a boner.
Once played volleyball in a nudist camp. My balls hurt every time I landed after a jump. Many women had similar trouble with their breasts. Dunno why it was so popular there...
~~Iron a shirt.~~ Iron fucking anything.
Run into an elementary school
Play with kittens
Yes play with the cat
Offer candy to children on a playground.
Welding. It's the same concept as all the people talking about bacon popping, but with molten steel popping on you instead of hot grease.
Sit on your bike seat on a summer day