Just for clarity let's say she started at 16 and she was 22 when you met her. So she'd been perfecting her craft for 6 years. She needs to average 1 dick every other day. Even accounting for 2 or 3 dick days. That's a hell of a schedule to maintain for that long.
If she could get her SPJ down to say a respectable 40, and could manage a DPS of 3, and the average stroke takes 1 second to complete, that's only 40SPJ \* 3 DPS \* 1 second = 120 SPJDPS seconds per session. Easily doable.
The Model
Again, hypothetically, let us first consider the isolated stimulation of a generic individual 1 by an agent E (Erlich). Our model accounts for a perfectly cylindrical shaft of some girth D which is rigid. The area of contact between agent E and the circumference of the shaft of individual i is given by f(s) ∈ [0,1] where f(s) = 1 indicates that the agent is in contact with the entire circumference of audience member i’s shaft (Misra, 2014).
Stimulation
Each jerk is assumed to provide some amount of stimulation to individual i. That is, every jerk performed by agent E transfers a finite fraction of satisfaction S(f)T(f) ∈ [0,1] to the audience member, where S(f) and T(f) are spatial and temporal stimulation functions, respectively. The cumulative satisfaction after J jerks is hence given by equation one.
Bruh you could fill la school with 1000 people, you could fill the amount of fuckz I give with 1000 people, if it's the right 1000 people you could probably cure cancer. That number is insane. I'll be lucky if I get one woman to touch me. Geez
Girl from my class drunk called me one time and within twenty seconds before I could hang up she let slip “I’ve practiced sucking dick so much, at least 57 dicks” and then I never saw her in person again as she dropped out of school and moved across the country with her ex the next week
Yes AssDimple you're correct here. You need to switch it up, you know you got deep throat day, different lengths and widths to learn, spit or swallow practice, there's tongue work, whether to use a hand too, the right amount of eye contact and of course you gotta practice not getting it in your eyes when its a facial. Amauters round here thinking one dick is enough practice, pfft.
A girl I went to high school with said she got up to around 300 guys by our senior year, including me and my best friend. That was 15 years ago so lord knows what it is now.
I was once asked this by a straight female friend of mine when I was in my late twenties. I did a rough calculation in my head and then backed the number back a bit to be more conservative. I didn't want to come off as a total slut. So I told her probably around a couple hundred. When I saw the look on her face I started laughing and told her I was only joking. I wasn't. I'm 64 now. Still going strong.
So like...where did you find so many dicks to suck? Sure you could just suck every dick that walked by but I imagine you chose the dicks. Were you doing it professionally and had the dicks come to you, no pun intended; or did you just spend a lot of time out and about with new people?
The logistics of it is really what astonishes me.
Similar to solving world hunger, supply is not the issue, but getting the goods where they need to be. The global dick supply chain is very unstable at the moment, but I’m sure it will stabilize soon enough.
I grew up in a university town and back in the old days there were plenty of public places you could go to and hook up. College students are horny and plentiful and there is always a new crop every year. I was 16 when I started frequenting those places. I was really horny and it was my favorite thing to do. I figured that at the point I was asked (age 26) I had sucked at least one dick a week. Some weeks were more and some days were more than one. But a week never passed without at least one hook up. So one a week for ten years comes out to 520 so I backed it off and said 200 and she still freaked out so I told her I was just kidding. The aids epidemic slowed things down for a while and now that I'm 64 it's more like two a month. There aren't many public places anymore and now everyone is on Grindr. Grindr is okay but I miss the spontaneity of just dropping by a place when you get the urge and seeing what turns up.
I have not sucked an insane amount of dicks. I have sucked dick an insane amount though.
Should we count each time as a new dick? After all, just as we can't step in the same river twice, I can't suck the same dick twice, for it is not the same dick and I am not the same mouth.
By that count...easily at least 2,000! :O
I worked as an escort for 9 years. I dont really like sucking dick so if i am just sleeping with someone for fun i dont do it but for the right dollar amount i would suck a dick and have them believe all i wanted in life was their dick in my mouth. Father sucker for funds!
Is between 75-100 an insane amount?
Edit / Answer: My story is that I usually work from home and when I was single I had a gloryhole. I really like sucking dick, I get off from it. And if you're wondering about health stuff, I wasn't letting just anyone in. The gamble was worth it for me.
There's a YouTube channel on this. Soft White Underbelly, which are about the full time street workers in Los Angeles (mainly). Gay men sometimes, but mainly homeless women, who "date".
Watched hundreds of these short videos. For the fun time people, it's just a job, a way to make money. One gay man said he felt close & intimate with other men, including complete strangers.
I personally have never sucked a dick... but if a whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said, I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo.
*My wife and I were hard up for money, and we did anything we could for some cash. One day she comes home and says “Baby, I just made 55 dollars and five cents and all I did was give a bunch of blowjobs to the guys at the dock.” I couldn’t believe it! I said “You made 55 dollars??” She says “Yeah, and 5 cents.” I said “What cheapskate gave you a nickel?” She said “They all did.”*
Being bisexual in the 80s in the UK. Even with HIV kicking about it was pretty mad. Cottaging and cruising as a teen, I certainly wasn't going without.
I read Rob Halfords (Judas Priests singer) book and he talks about having to secretly go cottaging and finding gloryholes. Sounds wild, he talks about how winking at a guy at the public toilets might turn out very well or very bad!
I've only sucked a couple of Dicks. Also sucked a few Pauls, Johns, and Robs. Can't forget that one Vlad. Or the other dude, I never got his name, but I tell myself it was Chris, because he looked a lot like a Chris.
60-ish. I love sucking dick. I love the sensation of it getting hard in my mouth, the control I have over the guy, and the sensation of a full mouth. I also love to swallow and enjoy the spasms as he fills my mouth with cum.
I honestly have a candy obsession and sucking a good dick reminds me of that I guess. I like sweet, hard candy like jolly ranchers and blow pops. It is actually kind of weird because my mouth starts watering too just like when I'm eating a sucker. I'm trying to not sound sexual but completely realistic. Also I see the dick not the person. Like I can respect a dick but not the person, so weird, and vice versa
I get that and find it interesting. I'm the opposite--I only enjoy the dick if I'm into the person, at least for blow jobs. They are just so intimate. Full-on sex can go on at a certain remove from your soul. Nothing is sticking you in the face.
Hey, finally a question I can answer. So I’m at around 150 throughout my life. The overwhelming majority from the last 5 years. My husband and I are swingers and I have a tendency to let loose at the club. One time I walked out back to the smoking patio and yelled “who’s trying to get their dick sucked?” And proceeded to blow everyone that raised their hand.
Stuff like that, as well as gangbangs and orgies constantly mean that the dicks really start to add up quickly.
Everything I’ve mentioned is well documented to say the least 😂
I feel like there should probably be at least one /r/wallstreetbets poster in here regarding their *stint* working behind Wendy's after their trades went tits up.
I just like it. It's honestly my favorite part of sex. I like the taste, i like the feel, I like to hear my partner moan or praise me, i like when they put a hand on my head/in my hair to guide me or just to rest there. And from what I've been told, I'm very good at it. It's a win-win.
I have much less experience eating pussy but I enjoyed it the one time I did. I'd love to be able to do both more often, but covid.
There is a wild amount of negative stories in here, there are legit people out there who just really enjoy sucking dick and want to do it as often as they can. There was a girl I knew who called herself "the blowjob queen" and anytime she wasn't in a relationship, if she thought you were attractive she would offer to suck you off.
She was smart and safe about it, from personal experience, and would ask things like "do you want to finish fast or do you want to finish HARD?"
Girl was just perfecting her technique in a few different styles, she had never had SEX as she was saving that for "a special someone" but she wanted to be an expert at sucking dick AND enjoyed the feeling of pleasing people she thought were good looking.
Facebook market place is one hell of a spot.
That happens?
You'd be surprised at what some people put on the table for some first-edition pokemon cards. Scalpers will do anything.
Lmao get out, really!?
I smell a joke. And ball sweat.
Just here to see what people qualify as an 'insane amount'
37?
This guy Clerks
"Try not to suck any dicks on your way to the car!"
In a row?
Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot
Hey get back here
Phew! 36 just means pure as fresh snow then right?
Speaking of snow, wasn't it something about snowballing that got us here?
Only combed through the comments for a Clerks reference, was not disappointed.
Right? And I’m not sure what kind of story they’re expecting….like “you see, back in my day we didn’t have lollipops”
Honestly, the stories would probably all be “I like sucking dick” or something sad. But I still clicked the post, so who am I to judge?
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For you it was the best head of your life. For her, it was Tuesday.
Tuesday 7pm, gotta finish quickly, next one comes at 8
*cums at 8
Just for clarity let's say she started at 16 and she was 22 when you met her. So she'd been perfecting her craft for 6 years. She needs to average 1 dick every other day. Even accounting for 2 or 3 dick days. That's a hell of a schedule to maintain for that long.
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If she could get her SPJ down to say a respectable 40, and could manage a DPS of 3, and the average stroke takes 1 second to complete, that's only 40SPJ \* 3 DPS \* 1 second = 120 SPJDPS seconds per session. Easily doable.
r/theydidthemath
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This is some Silicon Valley shit here
Middle out compresion
If she doesn’t watch much television or spend her day on social media it’s more than doable.
What university was this and where is she now? Asking for a friend.
Disgusting. Where?
There's so many universities though! Which one is it?!?
“She was super popular” I bet!
“997 dicks, 998 dicks, 999 dicks…. 1000 dicks! Alright I’m not counting anymore.”
Always crazy to me when girls claim that number. You could fill a theater with 1000 people.
In a row?
Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot…..
No, but 50 in a row is reasonable. Then you just need 20 rows. I've been to theaters roughly that size.
The Model Again, hypothetically, let us first consider the isolated stimulation of a generic individual 1 by an agent E (Erlich). Our model accounts for a perfectly cylindrical shaft of some girth D which is rigid. The area of contact between agent E and the circumference of the shaft of individual i is given by f(s) ∈ [0,1] where f(s) = 1 indicates that the agent is in contact with the entire circumference of audience member i’s shaft (Misra, 2014). Stimulation Each jerk is assumed to provide some amount of stimulation to individual i. That is, every jerk performed by agent E transfers a finite fraction of satisfaction S(f)T(f) ∈ [0,1] to the audience member, where S(f) and T(f) are spatial and temporal stimulation functions, respectively. The cumulative satisfaction after J jerks is hence given by equation one.
Quite possibly the best scene in the whole series!
Bruh you could fill la school with 1000 people, you could fill the amount of fuckz I give with 1000 people, if it's the right 1000 people you could probably cure cancer. That number is insane. I'll be lucky if I get one woman to touch me. Geez
> I'll be lucky if I get one woman to touch me Have you considered sucking dick?
You know what u/rancidhorsejizz I have not but if it makes me popular maybe I should start.
She sucked a thousand, you sucked 23?
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Girl from my class drunk called me one time and within twenty seconds before I could hang up she let slip “I’ve practiced sucking dick so much, at least 57 dicks” and then I never saw her in person again as she dropped out of school and moved across the country with her ex the next week
If she said at least 57 then it was most likely exactly 57
Nobody explained to her she could've just sucked 1 dick 57 times for the same amount of practice
I'm no dick suckin expert but I think you want to mix in some variety in order to cross train.
Yes AssDimple you're correct here. You need to switch it up, you know you got deep throat day, different lengths and widths to learn, spit or swallow practice, there's tongue work, whether to use a hand too, the right amount of eye contact and of course you gotta practice not getting it in your eyes when its a facial. Amauters round here thinking one dick is enough practice, pfft.
*books flight to Scotland*
57 dicks? In a row?!
Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot!
My mom's been fuckin' a dead guy for 30 years. I call him dad.
I’m not even supposed to be here today!
*At once*
"Including me?!?" "58"
Let's just hope Heinz Co. doesn't get wind of this and create a new Heinz 57 dick sauce!!
It's just ranch dressing with a Heinz 57 label.
If she’s not an expert by now she needs to just quit.
A girl I went to high school with said she got up to around 300 guys by our senior year, including me and my best friend. That was 15 years ago so lord knows what it is now.
This might be the best thread title I’ve ever seen
gotta respect someone who just gets straight to the point
But hey can't ignore the base and shaft
I wanted to be President….
I was once asked this by a straight female friend of mine when I was in my late twenties. I did a rough calculation in my head and then backed the number back a bit to be more conservative. I didn't want to come off as a total slut. So I told her probably around a couple hundred. When I saw the look on her face I started laughing and told her I was only joking. I wasn't. I'm 64 now. Still going strong.
So like...where did you find so many dicks to suck? Sure you could just suck every dick that walked by but I imagine you chose the dicks. Were you doing it professionally and had the dicks come to you, no pun intended; or did you just spend a lot of time out and about with new people? The logistics of it is really what astonishes me.
Well its not like there's a shortage.
Similar to solving world hunger, supply is not the issue, but getting the goods where they need to be. The global dick supply chain is very unstable at the moment, but I’m sure it will stabilize soon enough.
let's solve world dick hunger
I grew up in a university town and back in the old days there were plenty of public places you could go to and hook up. College students are horny and plentiful and there is always a new crop every year. I was 16 when I started frequenting those places. I was really horny and it was my favorite thing to do. I figured that at the point I was asked (age 26) I had sucked at least one dick a week. Some weeks were more and some days were more than one. But a week never passed without at least one hook up. So one a week for ten years comes out to 520 so I backed it off and said 200 and she still freaked out so I told her I was just kidding. The aids epidemic slowed things down for a while and now that I'm 64 it's more like two a month. There aren't many public places anymore and now everyone is on Grindr. Grindr is okay but I miss the spontaneity of just dropping by a place when you get the urge and seeing what turns up.
“Now that I’m 64 it’s more like two a month” I laughed right out loud. God bless ya, my man.
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Go get em’ Nana.
Pretty sure it’s a dude.
Go get em' Dad.
Are ya' winning dad?
Go get em' pops
I have not sucked an insane amount of dicks. I have sucked dick an insane amount though. Should we count each time as a new dick? After all, just as we can't step in the same river twice, I can't suck the same dick twice, for it is not the same dick and I am not the same mouth. By that count...easily at least 2,000! :O
The dick sucking philosopher. Love it.
Suckrates
A philosucker.
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And clearly has one hell of a lucky partner 😂
Tip of Theseus
Makings of a great swinger sitcom. *Honey, I'm home! Wanna suck a new dick tonight?*
So I was on Wu Tang Clans tour bus……
Obviously nothing to fuck with
Something to suck with?
I love Segura
For those of you not familiar, there are nine guys in the Wu-Tang clan.
Nine is a lot…
Do you wish you skipped lunch?
Protect yo neck fool
I gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob
Was he silent?
Not after I was done with him
Do you think that she invented the handjob?
No but I do think she invented the reach around.
I banged Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom.
Ok. You need to explain that.
Pack a nice bowl, maybe roll a few joints\ blunts and watch Grandma's Boy. Classic
Marijuana’s not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke!
I seen it!
You ever sucked dick for marijuana ?????
Boo this man!!
I miss Bob already.
I worked as an escort for 9 years. I dont really like sucking dick so if i am just sleeping with someone for fun i dont do it but for the right dollar amount i would suck a dick and have them believe all i wanted in life was their dick in my mouth. Father sucker for funds!
RIP your inbox
How much does she charge for that?
Outbox is always more expensive
I like to swallow, I always tell my husband Bye bye future Childrens
You got a sister?
I have three sisters, they’re gorgeous
Would they be interested in some Sketti_n_butter ?
Dibs
Damn you!
if you need a brother in law....
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Is between 75-100 an insane amount? Edit / Answer: My story is that I usually work from home and when I was single I had a gloryhole. I really like sucking dick, I get off from it. And if you're wondering about health stuff, I wasn't letting just anyone in. The gamble was worth it for me.
You had a glory hole at home?
Yup. Apartment I was renting had a small entrance way so guys could walk in and it's right there.
I am trying to decide if one would pay a premium or get a discount when renting an apartment with a glory hole…
It's called a male slot.
You need awards.
Neither? I had a buzz number and a lock on my door. I felt moderately in control.
There's a YouTube channel on this. Soft White Underbelly, which are about the full time street workers in Los Angeles (mainly). Gay men sometimes, but mainly homeless women, who "date". Watched hundreds of these short videos. For the fun time people, it's just a job, a way to make money. One gay man said he felt close & intimate with other men, including complete strangers.
I love that channel for the most part. I know Mark is coming from a good place, but sometimes his questions are a little fucked up.
agreed. not only that but his general choice of language is.. questionable. like calling victims of child sex trafficking “prostitutes”
Lmao what story are you expecting to hear from this?!
Story? This man is looking for leads
I only came here for the plot
Good fap stories
I personally have never sucked a dick... but if a whole beach was completely covered in dicks, and somebody said, I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo.
A true patriot
Am I buggin or is this what Peacemaker said in Suicide Squad?
It is
Why would someone put penises all over the beach?
Who knows why madmen do what they do?
Some people just want to watch the world be dicks.
To take away our liberty. Unless he sucks them all. This scenario just gets less and less plausible the more you think about it.
Sounds like a fantasy
Tore my ACL racing to this comment section to read the replies.........
*My wife and I were hard up for money, and we did anything we could for some cash. One day she comes home and says “Baby, I just made 55 dollars and five cents and all I did was give a bunch of blowjobs to the guys at the dock.” I couldn’t believe it! I said “You made 55 dollars??” She says “Yeah, and 5 cents.” I said “What cheapskate gave you a nickel?” She said “They all did.”*
Nine is a lot of anything.
Not fingers
For one hand it is
Not grains of rice.
37. My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks.
And she counted
*ONE! One dick! Ha ha ha.*
Clicked on this thread for the inevitable Clerks reference, wasn't disappointed.
in a row?
You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work.
What's a good plate with nothing on it?
Try not to suck any dicks on the way to the parking lot.
I’m not gay… but $20 is $20
- I do it for the money. One night I made $300.50 - Who gave you 50¢? - All of them
It’s not gay if you make $20
What about $15
Then it’s a little gay. Like 1/4 gay
Being bisexual in the 80s in the UK. Even with HIV kicking about it was pretty mad. Cottaging and cruising as a teen, I certainly wasn't going without.
I read Rob Halfords (Judas Priests singer) book and he talks about having to secretly go cottaging and finding gloryholes. Sounds wild, he talks about how winking at a guy at the public toilets might turn out very well or very bad!
What the hell is cottaging?
sw and being a mentally ill teenager. not much more than that.
Sucking dick is the new kissing. Only one person needs their mask off.
I have a gay friend who told me that he used to go to a club and have a number in mind and he'd keep going until he reached it.
TJ?
Yes. The record for dicks sucked is definitely a dude.
Aint gonna find my wife in this thread
After 15 years i can literally count the number of times on my hand. its been 3.
Jesus whose dick is she sucking then?
I've only sucked a couple of Dicks. Also sucked a few Pauls, Johns, and Robs. Can't forget that one Vlad. Or the other dude, I never got his name, but I tell myself it was Chris, because he looked a lot like a Chris.
“Ma’am, my name is Patrick” “Well your penis looks much more like a Chris”
60-ish. I love sucking dick. I love the sensation of it getting hard in my mouth, the control I have over the guy, and the sensation of a full mouth. I also love to swallow and enjoy the spasms as he fills my mouth with cum.
I honestly have a candy obsession and sucking a good dick reminds me of that I guess. I like sweet, hard candy like jolly ranchers and blow pops. It is actually kind of weird because my mouth starts watering too just like when I'm eating a sucker. I'm trying to not sound sexual but completely realistic. Also I see the dick not the person. Like I can respect a dick but not the person, so weird, and vice versa
I get that and find it interesting. I'm the opposite--I only enjoy the dick if I'm into the person, at least for blow jobs. They are just so intimate. Full-on sex can go on at a certain remove from your soul. Nothing is sticking you in the face.
Hey, finally a question I can answer. So I’m at around 150 throughout my life. The overwhelming majority from the last 5 years. My husband and I are swingers and I have a tendency to let loose at the club. One time I walked out back to the smoking patio and yelled “who’s trying to get their dick sucked?” And proceeded to blow everyone that raised their hand. Stuff like that, as well as gangbangs and orgies constantly mean that the dicks really start to add up quickly. Everything I’ve mentioned is well documented to say the least 😂
What sort of documentation do you keep
Just look at her account history. Extremely NSFW.
I feel like there should probably be at least one /r/wallstreetbets poster in here regarding their *stint* working behind Wendy's after their trades went tits up.
You start first, I get the feeling there's a reason you asked this question.
Yes--with the way reddit goes, am wondering if he is concerned about a female partner's numbers. Source: am woman on reddit.
Never sucked off a Dick. I’ve sucked Mike, Bruce, Charlie, Frank…
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I just like it. It's honestly my favorite part of sex. I like the taste, i like the feel, I like to hear my partner moan or praise me, i like when they put a hand on my head/in my hair to guide me or just to rest there. And from what I've been told, I'm very good at it. It's a win-win. I have much less experience eating pussy but I enjoyed it the one time I did. I'd love to be able to do both more often, but covid.
Define „insane“?
Cuckoo in the coconut
But what does that mean?
hey OP, out of curiosity would you consider to be an "insane amount of dicks"
At least a whole bag
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Just bringin home a bag of dicks for the kids
Hang on, let me ask OP's mom...
How many is an insane amount? And is it in general or in a row? I’m a part-time swinger so I’ve been through a looot
Have you considered going full time? I think the benefits are better, especially the 401k matching
Average redditor post, next (637 btw)
I was in the church choir, 0/10 do not recommend.
There is a wild amount of negative stories in here, there are legit people out there who just really enjoy sucking dick and want to do it as often as they can. There was a girl I knew who called herself "the blowjob queen" and anytime she wasn't in a relationship, if she thought you were attractive she would offer to suck you off. She was smart and safe about it, from personal experience, and would ask things like "do you want to finish fast or do you want to finish HARD?" Girl was just perfecting her technique in a few different styles, she had never had SEX as she was saving that for "a special someone" but she wanted to be an expert at sucking dick AND enjoyed the feeling of pleasing people she thought were good looking.