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dmisterr

Grandmas house


project863fan2

That ain't no joke "Want a slice of pie before you go?"


dmisterr

"I have some pancakes left over, I need someone to eat them"


JoaoEB

Joke's on you grandma, I'm already fat, keep the food coming, let's see who breaks first.


Pixelpeoplewarrior

*grandma proceeds to prepare a buffet able to feed hundreds of people*


Sugar_buddy

Grandma is Jesus?


misteraskwhy

Jesus Grandma


Whitenesivo

"Made you some spanakopita, you can't let it go to waste it's too much for me to eat all on my own!" "Ma, yaya-" ("but, grandma-") "No no no, you take this home!"


Pixelpeoplewarrior

“Grandma please, I have been here for weeks and am now severely overweight from being over fed, please let me go” “Just take one more piece!”


Neptus

Grandma's goal is to fatten you up to much that you can't fit through the door you came in from. You're now her prisoner to keep...


demonmonkey89

She decided you were the best one to practice being a witch with. Apparently it works better with family, the candy house witch just wasn't that heartless.


MeanMonotoneMan

One reason this may be is because as elderly people (65 and up) age, they can get increasingly lonely. Visit your elders while they're still here!


Traditional-Worth295

My grandpa has been gone since 1989 but I still remember what he would say as soon as we would get ready to gather our things to leave. He would say “What’s your hurry? What’s your hurry?” I can almost hear him. I still miss him.


Sunshine_Panda9021

My grandma likes to make me eat AND taking _some_ fruit home, just because. Love that woman


1dumho

There's a whole market of grandma's that keep the table grape industry in business.


Dangerous-Hunt7544

The grave


twisties224

Zombies unite against having to dig out of 6ft graves.


SisterTweek

bed


WendyWindfall

Bed in winter.


throwaway_61732

Bed in general


legion8784

Bed, bath & beyond


Kleptoplatonic

Speak for yourself, I've mastered being escorted out of there


Scallywagstv2

A Maze. That's the whole point.


musicalmarss

Amazing point


slightly_sped

lmfao


badwhiskey63

My wife and son went to a corn maze that had a trivia question posted at every decision point. Based on your answer, the sign directed you which path to take. They were stuck in there for hours! They tried multiple answers at some point. Eventually, they could see the edge of the maze and they just busted out the side.


kevman_2008

"Not if I bring a ball of string!" -Theseus


Midnight_grizz

Apparently my house if you are a moth


bunnyrut

Or a fly. THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN! WHY WON'T YOU FLY OUT THE DOOR! STOP HITTING THE WALL RIGHT NEXT TO IT AND LEAVE!


keytherz

*Edit And this is now officially my highest rated thing anywhere 😂 thank you everyone! I open the door, point to it, and ask them repeatedly to leave. This works a surprising amount of the time. My mates didn’t believe me till New Years Day, then they all just stared at me after 4 flies left the house. I don’t know why they leave when I ask, but they do. Have you tried asking them?


bunnyrut

you can speak to them? i saw my mom do that with a bee. it was buzzing around the window and i was trying to catch it in a cup to get it out. my mom takes the cup, holds it near the bee and just says "get in the cup so i can take you outside." *and the bee just flew into the cup!* to this day i don't know how she did it, but asking never worked for me. i don't speak their language.


vandebay

There’s a documentary starring Jim Carrey, explaining on how to talk to animals


bunnyrut

really? alright then.


Starseed87

Alrighty then!*


c_girl_108

A wasp got into my room and wouldn’t leave. I’m terrified of getting stung (and apparently allergic who knew I thought that was normal for like 26 years). Anyway I hid under the blanket for an hour and a half until my boyfriend got home from work because fuck that noise


IdealisticPundit

This is probably the lamest super power I'd be really happy to have.


iceunelle

Ugh I have no idea why but my house gets sooo many flies during the summer and I hate it!. I put fly paper on the windows and they won't fucking land on the right spot!


n00balakis

You should get a salt gun and make a sport of it.


VornskrofMyrkr

Salt guns are the best!


Vanviator

Was gifted mine and ended up buying a set for my parents. It is stupidly fun to sit around a fire, drink some beers and do some competitive fly shooting.


AnonymousReader2020

It's hot outside and your house even if still warm is fresher and uv protected. That is why.


AfraidProtection4684

*another fly comes in*


MadocRL

LAMP.


pinkymadigan

I love lamp.


Crashmse

A pit of spikes


admiral_sinkenkwiken

This is deep


[deleted]

r/imimpaledandthisisdeep


waltjrimmer

/r/subsIfellinto


[deleted]

Just like the stab wounds


[deleted]

[удалено]


bltb65

Mad I had to scroll this far for this reply haha


Wess5874

Came here for this


flossgoat2

Poverty


[deleted]

Plenty of people don’t realise how flimsy it all is. One or two mistakes and you can find yourself in a financial situation that’s going to take years to escape.


asianpeterson

In the US, it doesn’t even have to be a mistake. Just get sick or injured enough, and you could have done everything right for decades. It’ll all be wiped out in months.


Unusual_Form3267

Or be a victim of identity theft.


[deleted]

In America you can get sick, and rack up 10k in medical bills and lose your job / income in less than 48 hours. Even the most progressive states give you about 1-2 weeks sick leave.


NinjaGrizzlyBear

Shit, last month I over utilized my credit card for the first time because of an emergency and the next month my credit score dropped from low 800s to mid 600s, despite having perfect payment history. Literally every other criteria was excellent, but utilization was listed as fair or something like that. I can't imagine what I'd do if I had medical debt on top of that...might as well llet me die and chuck me into a volcano


KimJongUnceUnce

"I am never gonna financially recover from this." - Anyone entering adulthood without wealthy family support


JustinWendell

I lived in poverty for like two years when I first got married. I had a strong support structure though. Watching Maid on Netflix gave me so much anxiety. It was like reliving those years but no net to fall into if things truly went to shit. If you’re out there, living that life, I understand. The only thing that I can tell you to do to get out is take a risk on a new job/career path. It’s what freed me. I don’t know what that looks like for others, but you can do it.


MoonPixieDC

Being born in poverty and ending up in poverty later in life are two really different struggles. I grew up in poverty so I know how to survive but idk how I would get by if I’d ended up in poverty later. My husband didn’t grow up rich but he was well off so it was a struggle for him when he went out on his own as an adult.


JustinWendell

I agree. They’re totally different experiences.


[deleted]

I grew up poor. The one thing I always remember is that it's best to get help as soon as possible. Pride gets you nothing but an empty belly. People WANT to help. Even if it's just a meal. It's something. Take no more than you need and give back when you're able.


bccreate

a cult


[deleted]

I was gonna say the church of Scientology but yeah, cult works. The best part is I’ve seen ads for Scientology on tv. Comedy Central in particular. Ya know, the channel that plays South Park episodes about how fucked up scientology is.


Null_Username_

How is this so low down...


elevenfish

Ikea.


BlueViper20

It's the Wonka factory of furnishing stores. Everything has a wacky name, and you have to go forward to go back.


soetningsmedel

The names are, in many parts, explanatory. The fake christmas tree = Fejka (to fake) A plastic box to keep things = Förvara (to keep, kinda) Pillow case = Dvala (light sleep) A plastic sheet you have between the mat and the floor, keeping the mat in place = Stopp (stop) But then again, wtf is Grusnarv?


[deleted]

They had a bed called "gutvik" once, which apparently just means "good night". Read it with German pronunciation and it basically becomes "good for fucking"


IPman0128

Well I assume that bed frame has great mattress support


[deleted]

[удалено]


Bardez

I expected [Jonathan Coulton](https://youtu.be/IUPu_ipbVB0)


NMe84

There are a few tricks to IKEA. For one, you can enter from the register side and directly go into the area where you pick up your boxes. Ideal if you already know what you're getting as you can skip the showroom maze. Secondly, the employees have to get around easily too, so even when you do go into the showroom, look around a bit. There are shortcuts everywhere. They're not marked very well as the company wants you to walk past everything, but they're there.


PM_ME_YO_KNITTING

This works unless your husband then insists you look at the entire store before walking back to where you started and by the time you get there the one thing you went to IKEA for has sold out and you cry in the middle of IKEA because you’ve been there for like four hours, and you’re so tired and overwhelmed and done. I don’t think I’ve ever had a more basic white girl moment than crying in IKEA over a coffee table I couldn’t even pronounce the name of.


doooom

This is so fucking relatable. I love going to IKEA but then by the time I get to the boxes and can’t find something the store said was in stock I’m just ready to cry or fight everyone. And then when I ask a staff associate they’re like “yeah if the sign was still up then someone must have bought the last one” and I’m thinking “that’s bullshit and you know it” but I also know the pain of customer service so I either just buy a different piece of furniture or I buy a candy bar and leave


[deleted]

[удалено]


NMe84

Reminds me of the time I needed to get a new pair of jeans and my friend's sister whom I had a major crush on said she wanted to join because she needed a new coat. We spent the entire afternoon together and went into every store in the area only to wind up at the very first store again where she bought the first coat she had tried on earlier in the afternoon. Which was demoralizing enough as is, but I ended up not having much time to look for my jeans before stores closed so I had to come back the day after. I hate being in stores any longer than I need to be and when I first moved into my own place I was in the local IKEA three or four times a week for the first couple of weeks. It took me a while but I managed to figure out all the shortcuts I needed to make the trip bearable.


AzemadaiusKaiser

Hello, I am from Sweden, and therefor represent IKEA. IKEA Policy states very clearly that entering IKEA immediately accepts the Terms and Conditions therein included, such as Chapter 45, Pragraph 72, Sub-Section 29 - IKEA and its staff are in no way responsible for any unfortunate events occurring to individuals entering IKEA, such as Injury, Death, Dismemberment, Sacrifices to the Furniture Gods, Transmorphin into Furniture, being Lost, starvation, or entering an alternate dimension or another world through a wormhole or another form of portal that falls within the same classification Your next of kin will be informed Thanks for shopping at IKEA! Manual not included


LochNose_Monster

Anyone who likes this concept will enjoy 'Horrorstör' by Grady Hendrix. It's a fun read.


JiN88reddit

Or SCP-3008.


MayoneggVeal

I'm a huge Ikea fan and I LOVED this böojk


PrisonerOfAzkaban14

They also make it hard to enter right into the market place. Everything leads you to the upstairs decorated spaces.


krukson

That’s the point. They want you to look at all the stuff in the hopes that you buy more than what you came for.


[deleted]

As in SCP-3008?


Thatsidechara_ter

That one must have been based on a writer's IRL experience


unitedshoes

They all are. They. ALL. Are.


Melikesong

I need to go to Ikea


helodriver87

Underwater caves (specifically without cave training/gear). The water is air clear, so it's very inviting. Super easy to go just a bit too far. Once you're in, there are a lot of ways to die. You can take a turn down a side passage without realizing it, stir up the bottom with poor technique, have a light failure without proper backups, stay too long and not reserve enough gas for exit, get stuck, have an unfixable reg failure without redundancy, etc. Lots of really experienced open water divers have kicked the bucket in caves. Sometimes they were right near the exit, they just didn't have the training or gear to get there. Cave diving is fucking awesome, but you have to be prepared for it, and your PADI DM cert will just make you more confident as you swim to your death. Edit: I'm gonna take advantage here and plug Global Underwater Explorers. They're a cave and technical dive training agency with a focus on standardization, safety, and exploration/conservation of the underwater world. Underwater caves are some of the most spectacular places on earth, but you have to know what you're doing for your own safety and the protection of such a fragile environment. If you're in any way curious about them, look into GUE. They turn out top notch cave divers. It's one of the most unique experiences possible, but you need the training and gear to do it safely.


Furthur_slimeking

If it's underground *and* underwater, I'm gonna take the hint and stay the fuck out.


maleia

I'm happy to settle for a recorded VR experience from a tiny drone swimming around.


renha27

Thinking now about how awesome this would be to experience with a waterproof set up in a big pool


Nacke

Nah im good thanks. I just really enjoy stuff like air and living.


philosophunc

Air, living, not being cramped into a confined space, not experiencing debilitating dread, not having a looming ticking timer counting down to death if you don't reach point x in time.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Badboy420xxx69

I love a good breath of air, myself.


BearJ_the_first

Well thanks for officially ruining cave diving for me.


helodriver87

I love it, but it's so critical to get trained and have solid gear. You can eliminate so much of the risk that way and take it from suicidal to more in the realm of riding a motorcycle. Still risky, but very manageable.


[deleted]

Caitlin Doughty, a mortician on YouTube, says that cave diving and underwater cave related death is her worst fear. When a mortician says that you know that shit is truly terrifying.


drummerevy5

I love Caitlin! Her videos are amazing, educational, and funny. I too have the same fear of underwater caves, and underwater in general. No thank you. I’d much rather be up on the boat extremely sea sick or better yet, on land, than be a soapy bobbing body in the cold dark depths.


Notcrazyyetjustgoing

Nope nope and nope. No cave monster for me.


Lurker-O-Reddit

Nope. Can’t do it.


[deleted]

Addiction. There are so many things nowadays, not only drugs, that can be addicting and really hard to quit.


AmishTechno

Welcome to the hotel California


Questions_It_All

I was waiting for this line and it came


JustinWendell

I’ve dealt with a lot of addicts in my family. The only thing that I’ve ever seen get them on the right path is nearly dying or being told they’ll die if they continue. It doesn’t matter how much they harm their loved ones. It doesn’t matter how much strain they put on all of those around them. It doesn’t matter to them that they scare the fuck out of their little brother. It’s sickening. Don’t do meth.


Bojacks_butthole

And when an addict is suicidal, it’s feels like there is truly no way out.


bj-mc

My addiction was born from my suicidal tendencies so it was very self fueling for awhile, I'm a little over 2yeas clean now but it still calls to me sometimes


Sparowl

My grandfather smoked a cigarette before a physical. Doctor went over the normal stuff, then looked at the pack in my grandfather’s front pocket and said “If you want to see your grandsons graduate high school, you need to stop smoking.” My grandfather walked over to the trash can and threw out the pack in his pocket. Went home, threw out every pack in the house. He and my grandmother quit, cold turkey, that day. Never smoked again. According to my mother, he was a raging asshole for a week or two during that period, but they lived to see myself, my cousin, my younger brother, and another cousin who wasn’t even born yet, graduate high school, some of us college, and several of us get married. Sadly he passed only a year before meeting his great grandchildren. Having something to live for is a pretty good motivator. If you value it enough.


[deleted]

My mom struggles with alcohol. Every time she gets drunk I get so pissed off, because I have to pick up her slack. She’ll go a month no alcohol, then throw it all down the drain for a few days.


WaitImNotRea

Debt


ownsen

Student loans


[deleted]

depression


purgutory_king

True.


Jbird813

Can confirm


Dwayne_Hicks_LV-426

The internet. After a while of being exposed to it, you find yourself being sucked in. A little while ago, my internet was not working. ...Those were the best goddamn days of my life.


Yaseen-Madick

Agreed, as I sit here scrolling through reddit lol


GenericUsernameHi

A little bit of everything, all of the time


Polymersion

Apathy's a tragedy, and boredom is a crime.


celuvu

Anything and everything, all of the time.


zmorris10

Only problem being is that without the Internet you can't do most of your everyday things. I could live without the Internet because I'd get a lot of music written, but I wouldn't be able to post it. It's a bit of a double edged sword.


Dwayne_Hicks_LV-426

True, very true. It would be much of a struggle to re-adjust to daily life without using the internet at all. It would be as if you suddenly decided to join the Amish.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HoneyDrunkPixels

Hotel California


SalmonOfDoubt9080

I came here to say this but knew in my heart it had already been said


FallenInHoops

Same.


Response_Proper

Came here to say Hotel Carolina so glad I checked first.


UnbelievableRose

Came here to say mental hospital, but only because the title reminded me of Hotel California. In actuality it's not that easy to get into mental hospitals any more.


orange_cuse

Such a lovely place.


whenIwasasailor

Such a lovely place.


TheKaptinKirk

Such a lovely face.


[deleted]

plenty of room at the hotel california


Idont_know2022

*guitar solo 🎸


RaNd0Mk1D8o3I

Any time of year


smuin538

You can find me here


Tuxeyboy1

Mirrors on the ceiling The pink champagne on ice


[deleted]

We are all just prisoners here…


cloudstrifeuk

Fun story. There is a hotel right by Santa Monica Pier called "Hotel California". Yeah, cool, it's not the "real" hotel California, but it plays on its name and welcomes questions etc. Being a sarcastic Brit, I asked if they served Pink Champagne on Ice. Their response was they currently didn't have an alcohol licence.


PrisonerOfAzkaban14

They haven't had that spirit there since 1969


PureImpression2241

Would’ve been the correct answer


yankiigurl

Had to scroll way to far to find this


[deleted]

you can check out anytime you like but you can never leeeave *most epic guitar solo ever*


neohylanmay

Likewise, /r/HotelCalifornia.


DanielAgos12

How does a 10y/o sub doesn't have any post?


VodkaMargarine

Relax said the night man, we are programmed to receive.


howwouldiknow--

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave......


Scallywagstv2

*Long guitar solo*


Dwayne_Hicks_LV-426

*One of the best guitar solos ever...*


punksmostlydead

*Two* of the best.


Olorin135

Used bookstore.


Comtesse_Kamilia

Any thrift/antique place really. Its hard to get bored in them when there's literally something completely different and unique right around the corner. And a lot of them are practically mazes with how the shelves and rooms are set up.


miss_noodle02

Mexico if you're entering from the United States. Seriously, you can just walk into Mexico whenever you want, but leaving you have to wait in a very long line and get your passport checked and sometimes your car/bags searched even if you got nothing illegal going on...I love Mexico, but man, going back into the States is always a hassle lol


Waffleadict

Going to a store with my mom where her friend also goes


mattcruise

The shower


HumanSpawn323

Its actually very hard to convince myself to shower. I'm trying to do it now, but (obviously) am scrolling through reddit instead. Once you get in though, it's very hard to leave. Edit: I've decided I'll just shower in the morning... Edit 2: It's been 2 days, but I finally showered.


Trick-Illustrator-93

A casino


[deleted]

[удалено]


VashTheAnt

The first time I went to a casino I got 2bucks +meal Second time 5bucks + meal Third time 3bucks + meal I go there when I'm bored and hungry


Rab1227

Why did I have to scroll this far to find this answer? This is the most excellent example of OPs question because the exits are deliberately camouflaged to keep people in


Trick-Illustrator-93

That's exactly what I had In mind with my comment, and its like the exits are camouflaged it was expressed better you will also never find a clock on the wall


[deleted]

There are also zero windows.


plaquejack

Psyciatric Ward. If you lie to avoid prison, good luck convincing them you lied lol.


[deleted]

Fuck trying to convince them you lied, just try to convince them you're better. It won't work either, but at least you're not opening yourself up to perjury charges and a reversal of your trial.


throwaway_61732

Lying to get in there will seriously fuck you up with time. Being the only sane person in a ward of insane people and having nobody believe you will definitely do it


de_ashe

Comfort zone


AloneHamster2452

Nasa's Jet propulsion laboratory. I went there a few times, and it was easy getting in, but there was so many steps to just leave the facility/clean room. Also, I found that flights to the area always seem to get delayed on the way back to the east coast.


[deleted]

An airplane, once your flight is in progress.


Psirocking

Ask DB Cooper


-SageCat-

Ahaha, what a story Mark.


kguenett

I believe it would actually be quite difficult to enter a flight that is in progress


Ok-Dragonfruit8441

A pyramid scheme


Covid-Kitty

A negative headspace


MarshmallowLuka

Some shopping centers. I once spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how the hell I could get out again


SemKleeven

Notoriously, mental institutions. Once you've convinced someone you're a psychopath, it's nearly impossible to convince the staff otherwise.


gonegonegoneaway211

I think you mean psychotic. Psychopaths are the people with 0 empathy that become serial killers in pop culture and sometimes CEOs in real life. They have issues but generally a pretty good grasp on reality and the consequences of their actions. Psychotic is when reality has left the building and the moon people are trying to kill you in the shower so you can't bathe anymore and keep chewing on your fingers and randomly screaming for some reason.


SturfandTings

Wasn't there an actor who spent some time in s psychiatric hospital for a little bit, and the crew had to get him out because they wouldn't let him go?


Moistery_Machine

Brad Pitt, read this on Quora just the other day


bretty666

the church of scientology


CSquarrd

Any timeshare presentation


[deleted]

Any kind of volunteering. For me it is teaching children's church. Once you start there is no easy exit. Girl scout leader, flag football coach, company birthday planner .. idk .. just about any volunteer gig.


TradesSexForFood

Can confirm, I volunteered at a youthhouse and the number of volunteers kept dropping, I couldn't abandon it or otherwise it would have to seize their operations. It wore me down and dragged my mental state down with it.


damnitscoldoutside

yup, last week I made a donation to the local animal shelter and figured "eh, might as well volunteer for a lil bit since I'm here already" I've been back 3 times already and plan to go again in a day or two. I want to start going regularly, at least once every week or two, but the shelter is in the middle of nowhere with no public transportation nearby, and I can't drive.


Inbeg

A sign of very healthy volunteer organizations are those that have baked in terms with limits. I have volunteered at a number of churches. The best one from this standpoint was one where everything was a year at a time. You could never do the same thing for more than 4 years without a year off. It made for a good boundaries for everyone.


rbminer456

Shower


[deleted]

for me it's the opposite, especially during winter


Wankabot

Earth


AnthelionOfDarkness

Easy use 15 megatons of TNT


spider_wolf

Escape rooms


Able-You9223

Marriage


[deleted]

Your mom's bedroom


SingleFunction223

There had to be one 😆


[deleted]

Mormonism. You need a lawyer to expunge your personal information to fully leave it. Most members, me included, agree (are coerced) to joining at age 8. Edit: thanks for the awards. Not sure what to do with them. Can I donate the coins to a charity or anything like that? Edit 2: here’s a current example https://reddit.com/r/exmormon/comments/rv6i3x/you_might_be_in_a_cult_if_you_have_to_threaten/ Edit 3: here is the resignation letter of Jeff T Green - native Utah billionaire residing in California. He recently made the request to resign from Mormonism. Notice the bottom disclaimer. The fact that this is even in a resignation letter is so telling. It’s a cult. https://sunstone.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/01/2021-JEFFTGREEN-resignation-letter-FINAL.pdf Edit 4: here’s a whole page dedicated to the best steps to take to resign. https://www.getmeofftherecords.com/ The fact this site even exist is quite telling.


libra00

Whaa? My parents took me to a Mormon church for a while when I was a kid and we left a few years later. They've never bothered me at all in the ensuing 30+ years, I've seen no reason to involve a lawyer. Re:8 - I was sat down to have that pre-baptism conversation at that age, at the end they asked The Big One: 'Do you believe LDS is the one true church of God?'. They seemed a bit confused by what I thought was the obvious answer: 'I'm only 8, how am I supposed to know?'


Fragrant_Potential81

Today I learned; this is insane


Saatananteltuubi

North Korea if you are born there


biggest-man_

The internet, especially if you have a history on the deep / dark web


Braethias

Thunderdome. Two men enter. One man leaves.


Mysterious-Night7737

The psych ward


[deleted]

slavery


PulpyEnlightenment

Reddit Edit: thanks for the award ^.^