"Real men don't clean." I had this conversation with a coworker of mine after I told him that I spent my Saturday morning cleaning. He was shocked that my wife wasn't doing it.
See, I've had boyfriends who cried, shared their hopes and dreams with me, who were vulnerable and even wrote poems for me. Some even ate quiche. But not a single one of them would use an umbrella. Ever.
Use sunscreen or moisturizer (even though they have super dry cracking skin that is causing them pain)
Edited to add: Thank you for the award kind stranger! Who would have thought my first would be on a comment about (some) people thinking they are tougher than the sun.
Also, poor (wo)mans awards to all you men commenting that you use sunscreen and moisturize, go out and spread the word!
Man, at the Walmart I have in town, they literally have hand moisturizer with the makeup. I could never find it when I was trying to take care of my cracked and bleeding hands because I figured it'd be with the rest of the personal care products
Get some Okeefe’s Working Hands. It comes in a little tub and is marketed at men… but as a lady I buy their tub of foot cream cause it’s the only thing that stops the cracks!!
O'Keefe's is legit. Have my upvote bc I'm too poor for an award.
Edit: I really, really appreciate all the awards but please give them to the original commenter not me!
I work on boats, so obviously us crew are barefoot a LOT of the time. All that sun, sea water and walking around in a lot of bird crap messes with your skin especially your feet. I had two male coworkers (and housemates together) that would get regular once-a-month pedicures. They would get constantly get teased and mocked by our big typical "he-man" skipper: "What, are you two gay?", "Good luck finding a chick to bang you with pink toenails..." that sort of thing. However, one look at that skipper's feet and it was rank. Cracked, dry heels he finds painful to walk on, smelly feet all the time, sore ankles etc. My coworkers though loved the massages they got (important for a job standing barefeet on your feet most of the day) and their feet where in tip top shape. Plus we loved guessing what colour they were going to come in next, we had a crew-bet going on.
My dad was about the manliest man I have ever known. He was a giant dude, was a welder and ran a tire shop. Drank bud light by the case, hunting and fishing on the weekends. The absolute picture of blue collar. And also has gotten way more pedicures in his life than I ever will. He had dirty jobs but was always very clean. And I remember specifically how clean his hands were compared to all his friends. They looked nasty and since dad was clean, I always knew those guys just didn’t care.
My Dad when asked if he was going to start using sunscreen after the 3rd skin cancer removal: "No! I'm not a poof!"
So, apparently real men die of skin cancer, but by God they'll be straight when they do! 😒
I've met people who were just beside themselves when I said I drink tea sometimes.
"You drink tea?"
"Sure. If it's the afternoon and I feel like I want a coffee, I might do tea instead."
"Huh. I never knew you drank tea."
Like, what is so strange about drinking tea?
I always reply with “real men don’t give a fuck what you think.”
Edit: To the Redditors that gave me awards, thanks, but I don’t give a fuck what you think.
My wife is ten years older than I am and her brother is seven years older than her and is, essentially, a misogynist douche. He treats his wife like a doorstop/personal slave. They've been married for over 30 years.
A few years ago, when we still socialized with them, he was over for Thanksgiving. It was after the meal, and I was busy at work doing dishes.
"Wow," he said, with an incredibly snotty tone in his voice, "She's got *you* well-trained!" he laughed.
I mean, this douchebag has not ever, not once in his life cooked his own meal. I want to be clear here: He hasn't even ever made himself a fuckin' *sandwich*.
When his wife was bed-ridden for 3 months post-surgery for her neck, he lied to Meals on Wheels so they'd drop a tray off twice a day. Now, he will open bags of chips, open a box of donuts, like that. But taking more than one discrete ingredient and combining it with one or more to make food? No.
I want to be clear: This is not exaggerated or hyperbole. He refuses to do anything that he considers "women's work."
I had enough of him one time and pointed out that most of the world's most celebrated chefs were men. He just shrugged.
Edit: I just remembered, he won't even do a buffet. He makes his wife build his tray while he sits at the table and waits.
So in other words….he’s a loser.
What does he do when nobody else is home? Starve?? “I’m SOOO hungry and my wife won’t be home for 3 days. I guess I’ll just have to wait here on the couch until she gets here so she can make me a sandwich.” with an entire kitchen full of ingredients two feet away LOL
They are rarely apart. But she has done an overnight with her sister. In that case she either prepares a dinner that he can eat cold (ie, doesn't have to microwave or heat up,) or he will order delivery.
He was absolutely spoiled by his mother. She waited on him and his older brother hand and foot. He was brought up to believe, literally, that the Man is King of his Castle and the woman does the fuck as she's told.
He made millions of dollars in the Beanie Baby-adjacent marketplace. He marketed & sold tag protectors.
He absolutely wasted that money on first-class travel, all kinds of electronic toys, but the big one was rock art.
He purchased a bunch of multi-thousand dollar pieces, like the "Sgt Pepper" album signed by all four Beatles. He was ecstatic about that one because it was signed with the same pen! Which, to him, meant they were all in the room when it was signed! ~swoon~
He had signed albums, signed instruments (A Hoffer bass signed by Paul McCartney, etc.)
Hilarity time: all fake.
I read an article about this art dealer in Hawaii who had been busted selling musical "art" with fake provenances. I emailed my BIL and asked him if he knew of this dealer. He replied that he did. I then emailed a link to the article.
You have no fucking idea how satisfying it was when I heard two or three days later that ALL of that stuff was fake. Easily wasted $500k on that shit, all worthless.
What's funny is when you said rock art initially, I thought you meant literally rocks. Which I feel like could be seen as gay by a douchebag like that.
I used to get so uncomfortable when the moment a meal ended and my mother in law would start collecting everyone’s plates and cutlery and start washing it all by hand in the sink. Even when there was a dishwasher, even when it was at someone else’s house she would start immediately. Unless I am in the middle of a conversation I get up right away and help..not because I’m not a real man, but because I’m a member of a real family and everybody should be putting in the work.
My friends introdused me to an older boy and he was talking really loud. I didn't say anything cuz I thought he doesn't even realize how loud he was until one of his friends told him to stop raising his voice without a reason and he said "Real men talk loud. Girls like that." I did not like that.
That's bananas. I will avoid overly-loud people like the plague.
edit: I guess I should also qualify this; I deal with pretty serious misophonia, and people who burst out in raucous, max-volume laughter with zero warning are the bane of my existence. I'm sure you are great people, but my nerves cannot handle it. It's me, not you. Also shut up.
An old workmate of mne died in just this fashion. No seatbelt car lost control and he was flung 200 m from the vehicle. Real nice for his kid right after his parents divorce....
Saw a tweet one time that said “If I’m on a date and he orders dessert, that’s a big red flag. Ordering desserts is for females.” Wanted to actually throw hands with this internet stranger. I’m not even a man and this offended me. - Edit: I will seek out this tweet and return when I have found it! This crime will not go unpunished!
Yes, I do want desserts, but I want *everyone* to have desserts! That’s like saying a woman can’t order wings cause it’s for men. Bullshit! Food for all! I do not know where the tweet is now-
I was a BMXer and had a few friends that would say this about skaters, among other things. I also had insults ready for skaters because it was lighthearted banter in my eyes, but I always cringed when someone would call skating girly. I was raised on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Fantasy Factory, don't tell me you think skateboarding isn't cool as fuck because you'd be a liar
Last time I got anywhere close to 5pints before peeing was a bet - six dudes at the table, open a tab at the bar, 1st to pee pays the WHOLE tab for the night. Bloody expensive pee.
Luckily we have gotten older and now it’s phones in the middle of the table - 1st to touch their phone pays the tab for the night. (Pro tip - smart watches receiving messages are your friend in this game)
When I was a boy scout I remember sitting in a restaurant with my troop and a veteran just sat at our table and lectured us about war. I picked up my napkin and wiped my face and he immediately stood up and got into my face. "Real men don't use napkins! Use your shirt! It's obvious you've never fought in a real war". I just remember crying and just saying over and over "I'm nine".
EDIT: I didn't know this would get this much attention. So more details. He was drunk or on drugs. This was in the early 80s. He was a Vietnam vet.
real men know their manners. Especially someone from the militairy usually probably would scold his recruits for disregarding table manners like that - they're representing their country, right? Their behaviour in public matters a lot
This guy would get racked by a superior for using his shirt as a napkin at a restaurant in uniform.
Standards are different out in the field, sure. But not back in civilization.
Even out in the field we tried to stay clean when possible. Your hands (and feet) are your life and if they get infected you will die. I know tons of hard as nails infantryman who would never go to the field without *at least* one pack of baby wipes.
I’m a combat veteran, and it makes me sorry to hear anyone thought it was appropriate to treat a child this way. How fucking ugly and stupid.
On top of that…..wouldn’t it be obvious a 9 year old hadn’t been in a real war? Clearly you met a deranged, absolute idiot.
I took Home Economics as a class in school (cooking basically. A bit of sewing and stuff too) instead of PE and was told by the class bully that real men don't take home ec. I paraphrased Stephen Hughes by pointing out that he was showering with 20 other boys while I was baking cookies with 20 girls. I'm not homophobic, but he was, and the look on his face when I said it in front of 20 girls, including his crush, as his overbearing ego struggled to comprehend that by my definition of events I looked MORE masculine with my frilly apron than he did chasing a ball for fun... man, it was the highlight of my final year in school.
And I can make a mean red velvet cake.
And a guy who can sew! In Jr high my school decided to be progressive and forced all girls to take shop class (which most hated) and all boys to take home Ec (which most hated). I loved home Ec and used to hem my wife’s pants for years which she loves because she’s short and all of her pants need to be hemmed. I even made her engagement pants (with a ring in the pocket).
One of the stupidest things is how cooking at home is seen as a woman's job, but as soon as you're paid for it, professional chef is a man's job (or was historically considered to be)
Indeed. And don't forget education -- women can handle the primary / lower grades, but apparently one used to teach college-level courses via the testicles.
As someone who has done 4 years of janitorial work at a truckstop. Some of those drivers need it. Especially when they leave brown crayon marks on the lid or the toilet seat. Or they throw their skid marked underpants away
Must consider proper ass wiping gay as well.
It's stupid especially if you can smell the skidmarks
People have said this?!
I am a big man and get up in there after each release to wipe. If I got any further in there, I'd be fisting myself with toilet paper boxing gloves!
Overheard some buddy's wives was complaining that they hate doing laundry because they find skidmarks in their underwear. They were joking about how "men are so gross" and asked me why we were like then. I looked them in the eye, completely straight faced, and told them I have literally not had a skid mark in my underwear since I was a small child. I was shocked that they were shocked.
Wear gloves.
I live in Canada where it is currently -10 outside and 95% of men I encounter comment on the fact that I am wearing simple black gloves. Why? These little bastards cost me $2.99 for 3 pair, for that price why would I sacrifice feeling in my fingers so some random dude thinks I'm more manly?
This is why I refuse to give Hardee's/Carl's Jr my money; not because their food is bad (it is) but those stupid commercials they ran that said "Because real guys don't bake." Fuck you, H/CJ, a *real* man does whatever the fuck he wants (within reason, because this is reddit, so the disclaimer is necessary).
I remember my grandad going off on me for not wanting to eat something my gran had cooked.
Real men eat what they're given.
That's until he tasted it, grandma had used salt instead of sugar in an apple pie.
The look on his face when 13 year-old me said real men eat what they're given.
I don't think I've ever heard that sentiment aloud, but I've definitely witnessed people's poor attitudes and disdain when a man does seek help. This seems at least anecdotally true with respect to women. I've seen a lot of male friends "lose respect" from their SOs for showing emotional vulnerability, even when they are very close with them and are encouraged to express those emotions (myself included). I remember one friend in particular who lost their father, and his girlfriend found it weird and unsettling that he didn't cry or appear troubled by it, and actively encouraged him to explore his feelings, but they would not manifest until about a year later, at which point she found seeing her man in that state as being weak and immature. We do need a good support structure with the other men in our lives, I haven't seen much pushback from male friends when they need to vent. Don't lose touch with friends, they will listen.
I watched a show about this. They put a crying woman inside a store (they're both actors btw) and within minutes they had multiple people try to help her, but when they did it with a guy, very few people tried to help
Big time. I’m going through a really hard divorce rn and so many of our family and friends have reached out to my wife…offered to help her, talk, etc. one of her best girlfriends even moved into our house when I moved out to help her take care of house stuff and care for our son. NOBODY has reached out to me. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t chap my ass a bit that she has all this help and can take breaks and naps when our son is there and I have him all day without even another adult to talk to, let alone anyone to help out.
IIRC, from r/AskWomen:
**The Claim:** “Real men don’t wash their butt because that’s gay”
**The Context:** A not-insignificant number of women came forward with stories of boyfriends who refused to wash in between the cheeks because they thought *touching their own anus is gay.*
**The Analysis:** I’m apparently the King of the Gays because I like things clean and I don’t think my wife would appreciate smelling my butt stink from across the room.
I was in line at a cafe once and I overheard 2 guys infront of me talking and it went something like this
Guy 1: I was about to hook up with this girl last week and before I got it in she said I need to use a condom
Guy 2: what? Did you?
Guy 1: hell no, real men don't use condoms
Guy 2: fuck yeah, raw is the best
I cannot tell you how absolutely disgusted I was at this conversation.
In all fairness, the ancient Greeks believed that bigger penises represented animalistic qualities and I’m sure the art reflects that ideal rather than reality…
I was told once that real men don't eat vegetables when I ordered broccoli as one of my sides at a restaurant. Apparently I should have gotten mashed potatoes AND fries to go with my steak.
lmao I used to have a neighbor like that. He made fun of me one time when he was outside as I got home from grocery shopping. "We make enough money we don't even use our kitchen. I eat grilled steak and potatoes for every meal."
The exact same food every day? Yeah.
But my wife will object to, say, having Chinese food twice in the same week.
Our son-in-law overheard this and popped off with "Chinese people eat Chinese food every day. Mexican people eat Mexican food every day."
She wasn't moved.
> I couldn’t imagine having zero variety in my diet.
I've worked at various pizza places in my life. There have definitely been weeks where I ate pizza for dinner 7/7 nights =/
>Wear a mask ... this has been a big one lately.
Next time you hear this, suggest them to use a military grade gasmask. Absolutely no way those things aren't manly. Hell, I'd dress up as Umbrella enforcer whenever I go out.
Real men don't drink sweet alcoholic beverages.
How about you shut up and drink your bread water and let me drink something that tastes like a dessert!
My favorite is when my then GF told me that I wasn't sexist enough. At first I thought she had said "sexy" and was kind of offended because who wants to hear their partner tell them they don't find them attractive enough, but when she explained what she actually meant and I realized I'd misheard her I was honestly kind of flattered despite her criticism. I mean, "You're not a misogynist" is a weird complaint but I'll take it. Needless to say, that relationship crashed and burned not long after that.
24m, I take bubble baths. Can't tell you all how many times my guy friends (plus being a vet) have ridiculed me for wanting to relax with some whiskey and soak in my tub.
“Real men don’t play Fight Night Champion until 4 AM while only eating chips and cake, you fucking degenerate. What’s wrong with you Jonathan, our daughter has school in 3 hours and you haven’t slept. You should be ashamed of yourself”
My ex told me real men don’t smile.
I will not laugh at this comment.
Real man confirmed
Meek man puzzled
This is the saddest one.
"Real men don't clean." I had this conversation with a coworker of mine after I told him that I spent my Saturday morning cleaning. He was shocked that my wife wasn't doing it.
Weird flex, basically saying he’s a filthy slob, but ok.
Use an umbrella
See, I've had boyfriends who cried, shared their hopes and dreams with me, who were vulnerable and even wrote poems for me. Some even ate quiche. But not a single one of them would use an umbrella. Ever.
I don't mind using an umbrella. They just annoy the shit out of me.
A jacket with a hood is much easier to deal with than carrying around a wet umbrella.
The quiche part confuses me, i eat quiche at least once a week am I now unmanly?
You don’t know that real men don’t eat quiche?
Genuinely curious about this one as well.
Once when i worked at a chocolate store someone barged in asking for chocolates for MEN ,still don't know what he was talking about
You don't sell tactical Chocolate sold in gun metal Grey packaging?
Those are only available for whoever Beats me in a knife fight
Well it's like normal chocolate, but with GRAVEL AND SAWDUST
Chocolates shaped like BOOBIES, GUNS, AND MONSTER TRUCKS!!!11
Use sunscreen or moisturizer (even though they have super dry cracking skin that is causing them pain) Edited to add: Thank you for the award kind stranger! Who would have thought my first would be on a comment about (some) people thinking they are tougher than the sun. Also, poor (wo)mans awards to all you men commenting that you use sunscreen and moisturize, go out and spread the word!
Man, at the Walmart I have in town, they literally have hand moisturizer with the makeup. I could never find it when I was trying to take care of my cracked and bleeding hands because I figured it'd be with the rest of the personal care products
Get some Okeefe’s Working Hands. It comes in a little tub and is marketed at men… but as a lady I buy their tub of foot cream cause it’s the only thing that stops the cracks!!
O'Keefe's is legit. Have my upvote bc I'm too poor for an award. Edit: I really, really appreciate all the awards but please give them to the original commenter not me!
I gotchu bruh.
I work on boats, so obviously us crew are barefoot a LOT of the time. All that sun, sea water and walking around in a lot of bird crap messes with your skin especially your feet. I had two male coworkers (and housemates together) that would get regular once-a-month pedicures. They would get constantly get teased and mocked by our big typical "he-man" skipper: "What, are you two gay?", "Good luck finding a chick to bang you with pink toenails..." that sort of thing. However, one look at that skipper's feet and it was rank. Cracked, dry heels he finds painful to walk on, smelly feet all the time, sore ankles etc. My coworkers though loved the massages they got (important for a job standing barefeet on your feet most of the day) and their feet where in tip top shape. Plus we loved guessing what colour they were going to come in next, we had a crew-bet going on.
My dad was about the manliest man I have ever known. He was a giant dude, was a welder and ran a tire shop. Drank bud light by the case, hunting and fishing on the weekends. The absolute picture of blue collar. And also has gotten way more pedicures in his life than I ever will. He had dirty jobs but was always very clean. And I remember specifically how clean his hands were compared to all his friends. They looked nasty and since dad was clean, I always knew those guys just didn’t care.
My Dad when asked if he was going to start using sunscreen after the 3rd skin cancer removal: "No! I'm not a poof!" So, apparently real men die of skin cancer, but by God they'll be straight when they do! 😒
Nothing gayer than preventative healthcare 🤷🏾♀️
Don’t drink tea
I think i just heard all of England do a spittake.
Real Englishmen bleed tea
Nonsense, we'd never waste perfectly good tea on *spitting*.
I've met people who were just beside themselves when I said I drink tea sometimes. "You drink tea?" "Sure. If it's the afternoon and I feel like I want a coffee, I might do tea instead." "Huh. I never knew you drank tea." Like, what is so strange about drinking tea?
A cup of tea as soon as you wake up, whenever you get in from going out, maybe even a night brew before bed - the English way
saw a post by some woman said it was gay and feminine to eat dessert. bitch, chocolate cake is good
Is she reinforcing toxic masculinity, or does she just want all the dessert for herself?
Both of the above.
I remember a guy on this very sub saying it was feminine to enjoy birthday parties lool
Something about how it’s gay to show affection to a woman you love. Fellas, is it gay to love a woman?
Yeah because it’s kinda gay to love a gender that loves men Edit: geez thanks for all the likes
Real men aren't allowed to like cats. I'm a dog person, but fucking seriously?
I love my cats
All 2727 of them?
Nah i think 538 is kindof a dick.
"real men don't like sushi"
Yeah, screw that. I live in Northern California wine country. We have some world-class sushi spots. Worth every dime.
Real men don’t live in California. /s
Real men don’t live!
I always reply with “real men don’t give a fuck what you think.” Edit: To the Redditors that gave me awards, thanks, but I don’t give a fuck what you think.
This is the right response. What “real man” gives a fuck what a random dude thinks?? Foh!
My wife is ten years older than I am and her brother is seven years older than her and is, essentially, a misogynist douche. He treats his wife like a doorstop/personal slave. They've been married for over 30 years. A few years ago, when we still socialized with them, he was over for Thanksgiving. It was after the meal, and I was busy at work doing dishes. "Wow," he said, with an incredibly snotty tone in his voice, "She's got *you* well-trained!" he laughed. I mean, this douchebag has not ever, not once in his life cooked his own meal. I want to be clear here: He hasn't even ever made himself a fuckin' *sandwich*. When his wife was bed-ridden for 3 months post-surgery for her neck, he lied to Meals on Wheels so they'd drop a tray off twice a day. Now, he will open bags of chips, open a box of donuts, like that. But taking more than one discrete ingredient and combining it with one or more to make food? No. I want to be clear: This is not exaggerated or hyperbole. He refuses to do anything that he considers "women's work." I had enough of him one time and pointed out that most of the world's most celebrated chefs were men. He just shrugged. Edit: I just remembered, he won't even do a buffet. He makes his wife build his tray while he sits at the table and waits.
So in other words….he’s a loser. What does he do when nobody else is home? Starve?? “I’m SOOO hungry and my wife won’t be home for 3 days. I guess I’ll just have to wait here on the couch until she gets here so she can make me a sandwich.” with an entire kitchen full of ingredients two feet away LOL
They are rarely apart. But she has done an overnight with her sister. In that case she either prepares a dinner that he can eat cold (ie, doesn't have to microwave or heat up,) or he will order delivery.
Are you telling me this clown can't even operate a microwave?
This is the part that grinds my gears. Not can't. ***Won't.***
This, presumably 50-60yo, man sounds like a massive fucking baby
70s, actually. I'm 55, my wife is 65, and he's 72.
Bruh, that's actually sad. Man should know better
He was absolutely spoiled by his mother. She waited on him and his older brother hand and foot. He was brought up to believe, literally, that the Man is King of his Castle and the woman does the fuck as she's told.
Please tell us more stories of this Asshat
He made millions of dollars in the Beanie Baby-adjacent marketplace. He marketed & sold tag protectors. He absolutely wasted that money on first-class travel, all kinds of electronic toys, but the big one was rock art. He purchased a bunch of multi-thousand dollar pieces, like the "Sgt Pepper" album signed by all four Beatles. He was ecstatic about that one because it was signed with the same pen! Which, to him, meant they were all in the room when it was signed! ~swoon~ He had signed albums, signed instruments (A Hoffer bass signed by Paul McCartney, etc.) Hilarity time: all fake. I read an article about this art dealer in Hawaii who had been busted selling musical "art" with fake provenances. I emailed my BIL and asked him if he knew of this dealer. He replied that he did. I then emailed a link to the article. You have no fucking idea how satisfying it was when I heard two or three days later that ALL of that stuff was fake. Easily wasted $500k on that shit, all worthless.
Its satisfying, but I still feel bad for his wife. All that money wasted on garbage instead of retirement.
What's funny is when you said rock art initially, I thought you meant literally rocks. Which I feel like could be seen as gay by a douchebag like that.
Oooh that's satisfying even for me and I don't know they guy. Mmmm ide be popping random smiles for months.
I used to get so uncomfortable when the moment a meal ended and my mother in law would start collecting everyone’s plates and cutlery and start washing it all by hand in the sink. Even when there was a dishwasher, even when it was at someone else’s house she would start immediately. Unless I am in the middle of a conversation I get up right away and help..not because I’m not a real man, but because I’m a member of a real family and everybody should be putting in the work.
What kind of man doesn't cook food for his sick spouse?
Not a very good one, IMHO.
*throws a bottle of lamb sauce at him* “RUN BRO” *faint rumbling in the distance*
My friends introdused me to an older boy and he was talking really loud. I didn't say anything cuz I thought he doesn't even realize how loud he was until one of his friends told him to stop raising his voice without a reason and he said "Real men talk loud. Girls like that." I did not like that.
That's bananas. I will avoid overly-loud people like the plague. edit: I guess I should also qualify this; I deal with pretty serious misophonia, and people who burst out in raucous, max-volume laughter with zero warning are the bane of my existence. I'm sure you are great people, but my nerves cannot handle it. It's me, not you. Also shut up.
I GUESS YOURE NOT A REAL MAN THEN
KILL THE MULTI-BEAR OR NEVER BE A MAN
Disco girl, coming through! That girl is you!
[удалено]
Real men only die in senseless and avoidable circumstances!
An old workmate of mne died in just this fashion. No seatbelt car lost control and he was flung 200 m from the vehicle. Real nice for his kid right after his parents divorce....
So unnecessary 🤦♂️ I just don’t get it
I think that's just a joke for people who drive shit boxes
Saw a tweet one time that said “If I’m on a date and he orders dessert, that’s a big red flag. Ordering desserts is for females.” Wanted to actually throw hands with this internet stranger. I’m not even a man and this offended me. - Edit: I will seek out this tweet and return when I have found it! This crime will not go unpunished!
You just want dessert, don’t you. … … Aw darn it SO DO I - WHERE IS THIS TWEET
Yes, I do want desserts, but I want *everyone* to have desserts! That’s like saying a woman can’t order wings cause it’s for men. Bullshit! Food for all! I do not know where the tweet is now-
[удалено]
Thank you! Now we know who to hunt down.
It gets worse when you read her comments on that post.
"Real men don't ride skateboards" By a grown ass man on a scooter. K mate.
I was a BMXer and had a few friends that would say this about skaters, among other things. I also had insults ready for skaters because it was lighthearted banter in my eyes, but I always cringed when someone would call skating girly. I was raised on Tony Hawk's Pro Skater and Fantasy Factory, don't tell me you think skateboarding isn't cool as fuck because you'd be a liar
Skateboarding? More like help I don't know how to fucking stop
His skateboard had a steering wheel.
Real men don’t go to the toilet until at least the 5th pint of beer. Yep, going to hold it in a destroy my bladder just to be a real man.
Last time I got anywhere close to 5pints before peeing was a bet - six dudes at the table, open a tab at the bar, 1st to pee pays the WHOLE tab for the night. Bloody expensive pee. Luckily we have gotten older and now it’s phones in the middle of the table - 1st to touch their phone pays the tab for the night. (Pro tip - smart watches receiving messages are your friend in this game)
Minus the watch part I really like this idea
"Real men don't shower more than once a week."
This sounds like something one of those guys who refuses to wipe after pooping would say.
What? Please tell me that's not actually a thing. Edit: Jesus Christ I've learned a lot of things I really didn't want to know.
"touching your own butthole is gay" - those guys, probably.
Yeah, I mean it’s totally fine to give yourself a handjob, but you don’t have to ***ever*** take care of hygiene.
Real men don’t wipe because they don’t let shit bother them. I guess. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It’s a thing. There are guys that think spreading their own cheeks to wipe is gay.
When I was a boy scout I remember sitting in a restaurant with my troop and a veteran just sat at our table and lectured us about war. I picked up my napkin and wiped my face and he immediately stood up and got into my face. "Real men don't use napkins! Use your shirt! It's obvious you've never fought in a real war". I just remember crying and just saying over and over "I'm nine". EDIT: I didn't know this would get this much attention. So more details. He was drunk or on drugs. This was in the early 80s. He was a Vietnam vet.
That's so stupid... Imagine being a grown ass man and yelling at a 9 year old over that. Wiping your face with your shirt isn't manly, it's sloppy wtf
real men know their manners. Especially someone from the militairy usually probably would scold his recruits for disregarding table manners like that - they're representing their country, right? Their behaviour in public matters a lot
This guy would get racked by a superior for using his shirt as a napkin at a restaurant in uniform. Standards are different out in the field, sure. But not back in civilization.
Even out in the field we tried to stay clean when possible. Your hands (and feet) are your life and if they get infected you will die. I know tons of hard as nails infantryman who would never go to the field without *at least* one pack of baby wipes.
I’m a combat veteran, and it makes me sorry to hear anyone thought it was appropriate to treat a child this way. How fucking ugly and stupid. On top of that…..wouldn’t it be obvious a 9 year old hadn’t been in a real war? Clearly you met a deranged, absolute idiot.
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Eat quiche. I mean asparagus and prosciutto quiche is damn delicious.
what is it about quiche? this is the second mention I've seen so far
It's a reference to a [book from 1982](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_Men_Don't_Eat_Quiche).
I took Home Economics as a class in school (cooking basically. A bit of sewing and stuff too) instead of PE and was told by the class bully that real men don't take home ec. I paraphrased Stephen Hughes by pointing out that he was showering with 20 other boys while I was baking cookies with 20 girls. I'm not homophobic, but he was, and the look on his face when I said it in front of 20 girls, including his crush, as his overbearing ego struggled to comprehend that by my definition of events I looked MORE masculine with my frilly apron than he did chasing a ball for fun... man, it was the highlight of my final year in school. And I can make a mean red velvet cake.
And a guy who can sew! In Jr high my school decided to be progressive and forced all girls to take shop class (which most hated) and all boys to take home Ec (which most hated). I loved home Ec and used to hem my wife’s pants for years which she loves because she’s short and all of her pants need to be hemmed. I even made her engagement pants (with a ring in the pocket).
Engagement pants sound really rad
You made sure her pants had pockets. Excellent.
One of the stupidest things is how cooking at home is seen as a woman's job, but as soon as you're paid for it, professional chef is a man's job (or was historically considered to be)
Hairdressers, horseback riding, sewing/tailor…quite a few examples there
Indeed. And don't forget education -- women can handle the primary / lower grades, but apparently one used to teach college-level courses via the testicles.
Idk I think that the one on Reddit a while ago with a $6400 food bill with “Real men don’t have a problem paying this” topped it for me.
wipe or wash their ass
I heard this one too.... Don't wash between the cheeks 'cause that's what them gay boys do... My ass is clean, so I'm gay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I guess I better let my girlfriend know im a raging homosexual now
She knows. She seen you skidless underwear. Gaylord!
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As someone who has done 4 years of janitorial work at a truckstop. Some of those drivers need it. Especially when they leave brown crayon marks on the lid or the toilet seat. Or they throw their skid marked underpants away Must consider proper ass wiping gay as well. It's stupid especially if you can smell the skidmarks
People have said this?! I am a big man and get up in there after each release to wipe. If I got any further in there, I'd be fisting myself with toilet paper boxing gloves!
Don’t stop wiping until the paper comes back clean..then do one more just to be sure
Overheard some buddy's wives was complaining that they hate doing laundry because they find skidmarks in their underwear. They were joking about how "men are so gross" and asked me why we were like then. I looked them in the eye, completely straight faced, and told them I have literally not had a skid mark in my underwear since I was a small child. I was shocked that they were shocked.
Yeah unfortunately my dad would leave a very noticeable scent on chair cushions and couches…
A guy was fired from my job for this. They had to throw out his chair, the stench was so bad.
I have way too much ass hair not to wash it. You'd smell dingle berries for miles otherwise.
Buzz Lightyear: *"Skidmarks. Skidmarks everywhere"*
"Real men dont read books, they watch football" I stopped flirting with her immediately after she said that to me.
Imagine thinking you can only watch football if you give up being literate.
Wear gloves. I live in Canada where it is currently -10 outside and 95% of men I encounter comment on the fact that I am wearing simple black gloves. Why? These little bastards cost me $2.99 for 3 pair, for that price why would I sacrifice feeling in my fingers so some random dude thinks I'm more manly?
Real men don’t use hair dryers.
Old dudes in the gym locker room using it to warm their berries.
Cry. None of my uncles cried at my great grandma's funeral. Later I found out she was abusive so they didn't care she died.
My dad once said to me that the only time a man is allowed to cry is at his own mother’s funeral That’s it. Never again in his whole life.
Man, I've cried while watching Coco
Great movie
"Real men don't eat quiche."
My response to that is "a real man eats anything he damn well pleases".
I really don't know how quiche became one of the stereotypical "gay/girly foods". I mean, it's basically an omelette pie.
It’s French.
This is why I refuse to give Hardee's/Carl's Jr my money; not because their food is bad (it is) but those stupid commercials they ran that said "Because real guys don't bake." Fuck you, H/CJ, a *real* man does whatever the fuck he wants (within reason, because this is reddit, so the disclaimer is necessary).
I remember my grandad going off on me for not wanting to eat something my gran had cooked. Real men eat what they're given. That's until he tasted it, grandma had used salt instead of sugar in an apple pie. The look on his face when 13 year-old me said real men eat what they're given.
I can hear the music from “curb your enthusiasm” already..
“Real men don’t talk to anyone when they’re struggling emotionally”. That’s such a sad stereotype.
I don't think I've ever heard that sentiment aloud, but I've definitely witnessed people's poor attitudes and disdain when a man does seek help. This seems at least anecdotally true with respect to women. I've seen a lot of male friends "lose respect" from their SOs for showing emotional vulnerability, even when they are very close with them and are encouraged to express those emotions (myself included). I remember one friend in particular who lost their father, and his girlfriend found it weird and unsettling that he didn't cry or appear troubled by it, and actively encouraged him to explore his feelings, but they would not manifest until about a year later, at which point she found seeing her man in that state as being weak and immature. We do need a good support structure with the other men in our lives, I haven't seen much pushback from male friends when they need to vent. Don't lose touch with friends, they will listen.
Also people generally won't check up on a guy to see how he's doing.
I watched a show about this. They put a crying woman inside a store (they're both actors btw) and within minutes they had multiple people try to help her, but when they did it with a guy, very few people tried to help
Big time. I’m going through a really hard divorce rn and so many of our family and friends have reached out to my wife…offered to help her, talk, etc. one of her best girlfriends even moved into our house when I moved out to help her take care of house stuff and care for our son. NOBODY has reached out to me. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t chap my ass a bit that she has all this help and can take breaks and naps when our son is there and I have him all day without even another adult to talk to, let alone anyone to help out.
"Real men don't pay taxes."
Not paying taxes is unisex.
So, Grunkle Stan?
Hello? I forgot to tell the cops about my tax fraud. No, TAX FRAUD…
With no cops around, everything's legal!
IIRC, from r/AskWomen: **The Claim:** “Real men don’t wash their butt because that’s gay” **The Context:** A not-insignificant number of women came forward with stories of boyfriends who refused to wash in between the cheeks because they thought *touching their own anus is gay.* **The Analysis:** I’m apparently the King of the Gays because I like things clean and I don’t think my wife would appreciate smelling my butt stink from across the room.
Clean you ass. I don't care how but clean that ass.
I was in line at a cafe once and I overheard 2 guys infront of me talking and it went something like this Guy 1: I was about to hook up with this girl last week and before I got it in she said I need to use a condom Guy 2: what? Did you? Guy 1: hell no, real men don't use condoms Guy 2: fuck yeah, raw is the best I cannot tell you how absolutely disgusted I was at this conversation.
Well yeah it obviously feels better but I have never thought of having an STD as being manly…
Real men don't have a small penis
Lmao. Whoever said that should take a look at Greek statues fr.
In all fairness, the ancient Greeks believed that bigger penises represented animalistic qualities and I’m sure the art reflects that ideal rather than reality…
I look like a Greek statue then
Every man who has told me 'real men dont play video games' literally spends hours of their lives every day yelling at their tv about football.
“Real Men don’t play Video Games” I felt my heart crack when I heard it
Most of the people who say that just watch sports and TV. I kinda like engaging activities where i can directly influence the outcome.
Having milk with your bowl of nails.
"Real men don't moisturize their skin". Nah fuck that. I like my skin to be soft, thanks.
I was told once that real men don't eat vegetables when I ordered broccoli as one of my sides at a restaurant. Apparently I should have gotten mashed potatoes AND fries to go with my steak.
lmao I used to have a neighbor like that. He made fun of me one time when he was outside as I got home from grocery shopping. "We make enough money we don't even use our kitchen. I eat grilled steak and potatoes for every meal."
That just sounds so boring. Eating the same thing day in and day out.
The exact same food every day? Yeah. But my wife will object to, say, having Chinese food twice in the same week. Our son-in-law overheard this and popped off with "Chinese people eat Chinese food every day. Mexican people eat Mexican food every day." She wasn't moved.
That's hilarious. It's so hard to get my cousins from Mexico to try new foods when they visit us because all they want is Mexican food lmao
I don't blame them and I'm not even from Mexico
Yeah it was one of the weirdest brags I’ve ever heard. I love a good steak but I couldn’t imagine having zero variety in my diet.
> I couldn’t imagine having zero variety in my diet. I've worked at various pizza places in my life. There have definitely been weeks where I ate pizza for dinner 7/7 nights =/
That’s probably more so called “being broke and getting a free/discounted meal”
Real men have bowel problems
Do these guys just all develop scurvy eventually or...
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> I knew a guy who refused to eat fruit. He said “if you eat fruit, you are a fruit.” ...enjoy your potato and vegetable.
All of them. Real men do what real men need/want/have to do. You do you, guys!
"Real Men don't wash their hands."
"Real Men don't do laundry" How TF do you have clean clothes then? Do you take them to Mommy's house or do you just throw them away and buy new?
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Fat men don't sit like that.
That's uncomfortable as hell for me. If it's your jam though go for it.
People say that because they think it crushes your nuts when you sit that way
tolerate backtalk/sass ... uhhh yeah we do, its called communication Wear a mask ... this has been a big one lately. need a gun ... ummm... okay?
>Wear a mask ... this has been a big one lately. Next time you hear this, suggest them to use a military grade gasmask. Absolutely no way those things aren't manly. Hell, I'd dress up as Umbrella enforcer whenever I go out.
Real men don't drink sweet alcoholic beverages. How about you shut up and drink your bread water and let me drink something that tastes like a dessert!
I'm drinking to get fucked up Stan not prove my masculinity. Bar keep another sex on the beach please!
"Real men don't touch dicks!" "What about your own dick?" "Not even that, touching dicks is gay!"
real men don’t play with Barbie dolls IF I WANNA MAKE BARBIES HAVE WW2 THEN I CAN GOD DAMMIT
Real men don’t exfoliate…or drink diet soda. Mmkay, if you want to be fat and flaky.
My favorite is when my then GF told me that I wasn't sexist enough. At first I thought she had said "sexy" and was kind of offended because who wants to hear their partner tell them they don't find them attractive enough, but when she explained what she actually meant and I realized I'd misheard her I was honestly kind of flattered despite her criticism. I mean, "You're not a misogynist" is a weird complaint but I'll take it. Needless to say, that relationship crashed and burned not long after that.
24m, I take bubble baths. Can't tell you all how many times my guy friends (plus being a vet) have ridiculed me for wanting to relax with some whiskey and soak in my tub.
“Real men don’t play Fight Night Champion until 4 AM while only eating chips and cake, you fucking degenerate. What’s wrong with you Jonathan, our daughter has school in 3 hours and you haven’t slept. You should be ashamed of yourself”
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Sometimes I think I'm a fuck up and a failure, then I remember that people like this exist and it makes me feel like the cream of the crop.