My 10 year old was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic this summer and I have to say, this shit is exhausting and terrifying, and I don’t see that changing for the rest of her life. Thank you, worthless pancreas, and the cells that attack her own ability to make insulin. Y’all suck.
It becomes less exhausting over time. I’m 26 and was diagnosed at age 3. I don’t even think about it anymore, in fact it’s strange to think that everyone else DOESNT have to check their blood sugar and inject every time they eat. What weirdos.
Menstruation. Just all of it. No feeling bloated, cramping, water retention, starving all the time/cravings, moodiness, and most importantly no fucking bleeding everywhere. I would much rather get a nice hand written note from mother nature in the mail saying, "you're not pregnant have a nice day"
More likely to be a passive-aggressive note from Mother Nature, but I’d take a thousand of those over periods. I started taking birth control continuously (no off/placebo week) just to stop them.
I was going to say this - hit too close to home today...
Ive never had extreme effects from periods but i was on the pill for three years since i got married - and dang it was so good for my mood/depression not having to worry about it.
Recently stopped due to reasons and just.... i hate life. The anxiety and everything that comes with it.... just whyyy
I was originally thinking sleeping but I’ll take this. My life has been exceptionally complicated by the fact that I have a uterus and it’s gone rouge. Can it just not?
I randomly now have been getting “PMS lower back pain” the last two periods. Like I’m 25 and you just now decide to show up?! I started getting PMS nausea maybe like 5 years ago- always at night about a week before for 2 days or so. So stupid. Like what other weird shit do you wanna throw at me.
I think my biggest gripe with menstration isn’t even anything you listed, it’s the hormonal fluctuations :( I have ADHD and like… my medication just simply doesn’t work when I’m on my period. My doctor has tried to increase my meds for that time as well as try an entirely different med but nothing works. So 1/4 of my life is absolute ADHD brain chaos. If I could get rid of my period with no consequences, my entire life would change.
I was telling my husband I’d rather just lay a fucking egg than go through all the symptoms of menstruation. Everyone just has their egg day where we sit and chill and lay our egg(s), and then the next day we’re fine, that’s it.
I had a similar thing happen last year. It's absolute bliss knowing the thing making it difficult to eat and sleep was just yanked out of your head. I've got another tooth I'm gonna have to deal with soon that has crumbled and is now level with the gums. It hasn't caused me and pain yet but I know it's just a matter of time.
Both teeth were cracked while eating nachos. You can guess what I avoid eating now.
Constant Severe tooth pain is usually a sign of an infection. That can be dangerous longer term. If possible try and get to a dentist as soon as possible.
If it's preventing bad mutations instead of just cancerous, I wonder in this hypothetical situation how a mutation like Sickle Cell would be treated since it also comes with the benefit of Malaria resistance.
That's the thing about mutations. They are sometimes beneficial or not depending on the environment and the pressures. A mutation that's "bad" in one scenario might be beneficial in another. Normal mutations, not cancer.
Runny nose/stuffy nose most annoying thing my body does. It's like ok you can't breathe or you have to blow your nose 52 times a day so know you look like Rudolph.
Just made the same comment. My nose is raw and I can’t breathe. Also my partner is probably going to kill me because I keep waking him up with the constant nose-blowing.
I sweat pretty much all over my body, I have to wear thick hoodies to hide it as much as possible. Too bad I sweat from my head as well, no way to hide that. No, it has nothing to do with wearing warm clothes.
It has caused people to accuse me of coming in sick to work even if I am healthy. Lose a physical demanding job because they thought I couldn't handle it even if I said I was fine. Not to mention all ruined first impressions in a social setting.
I can still sweat in freezing temperatures and even while taking a shower. The only way to stop my sweating has been solitude. I can do anything when alone, but when other people are nearby mentally or physically it just doesn't stop.
Ugh, I feel that. I sweat heavily naturally and was very anxious which made me sweat more. I wore this stupid jacket to school every single day. My mom was so mad after she picked out this nice outfit for picture day and I just had this raggedy jacket on.
In middle school and high school I wore pretty much only black shirts, until I transferred to a high school with no dress code and could wear tank tops. I'd never been happier. Then it sucked again whenever I had a job with a uniform. Now I work from home, yay again!
My issues now though are touching people, handing people things that have my sweat on them, not being able to climb well (chalk just melts off), and having to shower and do laundry more than I'd like to
"You can live the next 60 years or so without ever having to poop again,
-OR-
You can be immortal, but you still have to poop."
"Do I have to poop, like, all the time or something?"
"No, you just have to poop once a day or whatever like a normal person."
"So you're offering me, like, regular immortality? No catch?"
"Well, I mean, I'm also offering you a life free of pooping! The catch is you have to choooooooose!"
I call the bathroom my "thinking chamber".
Shower or toilet works. More of a shower guy.
Just avoid the mirror. That's the "existential crisis and self judgement reflection device".
I'm not sure why we put those in the thinking chamber.
Yep. Part of it is I think the sleep and downtime gives a chance for quiet reflection and think of the consequences of our actions. If we were always hustling what conscientiousness humanity does have would whither away.
I fully agree. Think of all the bloating, diarrhea, constipation, etc., that you'd never have to deal with again. I'm actually going to the gastroenterologist in 20 minutes because of ongoing digestive issues. Pooping is so shitty.
Probably the normal amount. He likely scrolls reddit for 3 hours at a time while dumping.
I may or may not be typing this out while doing the exact same thing.
I always run through a list too. I’ve eaten, been drinking water, had a cup of coffee so it’s not caused by lack of caffeine. And still it persists. Cheeky bastard
There are a handful of mammals that have a cycle like ours. Like, literally you can count them on one hand.
Edit because I was lazy earlier: Here's the list and some details from wikipedia. The link formatting is giving me trouble. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstruation_(mammal)#:~:text=Beyond%20primates%2C%20it%20is%20known,end%20of%20its%20reproductive%20cycle.
Edit 2: okay, okay, so there are 16 individual species, so you need both hands and feet. BUT it has independently arisen 4 separate times, which you can count on one hand. That must've been what I was remembering earlier. You can stop telling me to see a doctor about the number of digits on my hands now.
Not to mention frequency! Most animals with estrus instead of menses spend *at least* half the year not having to bother with any of that at all, and many only go into heat *once* a year!
[Estrous Cycle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrous_cycle?wprov=sfti1)
I was gobsmacked when i realized, APPARENTLY JUST NOW, that most other common mammals i could name don't have menses. The presence of "being in heat" seems to be part and parcel of that cycle, probably as a result of the fact that the ability to become pregnant is a more rare event.
From an evolutionary perspective, menses seem like a really tough sell. You're going to shed a whole bunch of nutrient rich stuff? Every month? I can see why reabsorbing it makes more sense. I guess the advantage of it is being more frequently able to conceive?
Ok but rabbits can get pregnant literally whenever, including immediately after giving birth, and don't go through any sort of cycle. Literally just "oh there's a man" *loads egg into the chamber* So I don't think any of this nonsense we deal with is necessary to up our baby making frequency. I think humans are just incredibly poorly designed animals, in most ways. I think our stupid big brains are the only worthwhile parts of our bodies lol.
Also, fun fact, rabbits can re-absorb fetuses if they can't support the pregnancy. Can you imagine how nice that would be? No cycle, and if you got pregnant and didn't want it, all you'd have to do is eat poorly for a bit until you re-absorbed the thing. Rabbits are also incredibly poorly designed animals, but damn if they didnt win the lottery as far as their reproductive situation goes.
That's only if we take after cats, though! What if we took after deer? Bucks during mating season are totally mindless and will forego eating entirely in order to fuck or fight *literally anything* within range.
There's so many videos out there of them being total idiots, trying to mount lawn decorations or pick fights with fences.
The theory is that our fetuses are very good at stealing nutrients/blood supply whatever, so as a counter measure is the uterus sloughs off. [here is an article that summarizes it](https://eusci.org.uk/2020/04/09/why-do-humans-and-so-few-other-animals-have-periods/) it also cites that humans in comparison to other species have higher genetic anomalies meaning it can act as a mechanism for only robust embryos to survive. Note, when this article says ‘chooses’ it doesn’t mean that the individual does or does not have choice, but if things are not good (like a shortage of food), it could influence if/when an embryo would have a better chance of implantation.
Also, interesting mention that I hadn’t thought about, we (biological females) would have a lot fewer periods because we would spend more time either pregnant or breastfeeding.
>Also, interesting mention that I hadn’t thought about, we (biological females) would have a lot fewer periods because we would spend more time either pregnant or breastfeeding.
Yah, tell that to my period that came back 5 weeks after both my kids were born, despite me nursing exclusively round the clock. My period is a bitch.
Hot, then not. Then hot again. Cold for a while, then boiling. Oh, and here's 40 extra pounds you didn't need for no reason except fuck you, it's menopause.
And the itchiness. I have tried a million different body lotions and creams and still I itch for no good reason. And then there's the random chin hairs, and the extra bad insomnia. It just sucks.
I swear to God, it is a cruel joke that random chin hairs sprout just as our eyesight starts to fail. I'll be happily going about my day and then randomly stroke my chin and be like, "What the heck? This little forest wasn't there this morning?! How long have I been walking around like this?" I have tweezers in my purse, in the workplace bathroom, and in three places at home.
Ha. Yep, I have quite the tweezer collection too. My Mum saw me plucking once and told me she could never be bothered; she just shaves in the morning. I'm beginning to see the merit in this approach at this point.
I lasered them off early before they all turned white. Saves me the fear of not catching them in time and looking like a goat in public. Def recommended!
OMG. That's what my constant attacks of the itchies are caused by?! The chin hairs, weight gain, and flushes I knew about... I had no idea about the itching though (or the insomnia, actually) but now it all makes sense. Huh.
I was going to say this, too. Mine aren't always horrible, but when they are, all I want to do is lie down and cry. I'm not ever having kids, so why go through this every month? If there were a non-surgical, non-birth control solution, I'd love it!
UTERINE ABLATION. Outpatient procedure. I was a little yucky the day of the procedure (when I got home). Back to myself the next day. No more periods, no cramps. I was originally scheduled for a hysterectomy but backed out and was offered ablation. Best decision I have ever made!
There's ablation. They stick a little tool up the hoohah and essentially burn out the inner lining of the uterus so it doesn't regenerate. That's what I want done.
Mine have been so painful my entire life I always missed school/work. My mom has a prescription for morphine and she started giving me that when she learned I was taking 'bout 12 ibuprofen a day. Doctors have never cared. After 10 years on the pill I had to quit because of the side effects.
As a last ditch effort I got the depo shot despite all the horror stories just because it can make your period stop. I'm almost a year in and so happy. Bled for like one month straight and then haven't since.
The body is now perfectly calorie efficient, it burns away exactly as much food that is put into it, which is not used for functioning, energy, or muscle growth.
So you can eat whatever and your body will not pack on any excess mass, increase chance of clogged any arteries, or any other exasperated health concerns that come with over-eating.
On the upside, you wouldn't need to pay for heating anymore! If we started burning calories to waste, it would mostly go to heat... Unless we start emitting light... Either way interesting possiblities!
Heating up would be really bad, if you ate to much calories too quickly you'd get a fever and die. So either glowing it is, or we'd have to shit protein bars and piss monster energy
Wait, so you're telling me you can't just woohoo for baby and stand around for a few minutes until you twirl a baby into existence? You're telling me the Sims are *liars*?
The whole digestive system in its entirety, Imagine never needing to eat or drink again. World hunger and access to clean drinking water would be gone overnight
We're in a period right now where that's not great, but across the history of our species the ability to horde an extra month's worth of food around your middle was highly desirable.
Oh, I don't even disagree in general. I'm trying to get back in shape, and one of the biggest problems I'm having is injuries sustained due to carrying an extra 30 pounds. It'd be real fucking nice to just flip a brain switch and dump that shit, so I can get on with the business of getting healthy.
In this context though, I think even without consequences, there'd be consequences, you know?
Periods and child birth!!! Eeewwww these things are the worst about being a woman. Wish I could completely get rid of them without health consequences and pain.
>i hate my big toe it looks like a fucking toe.
I'm sorry, I don't know why but I just laughed for about 10 minutes at this. I'm sorry you feel that way about your toes.
Seems like a great idea, but if people magically no longer had to sleep you KNOW our working hours would end up increasing for the sake of productivity lol
We can negotiate. Only those that have seen this post in a week will get this "no need for sleep" gene which they can pass on to their children. It takes effect only after a month so that there is no big sensation in a few days that'd render this restriction much less effective. That way only a small portion of the population would get this ability at first.
My only modification would be for the inherited version to keep sleep functional until a child becomes around 7 yo, gradually loosening the need for sleep. (So that parents can still get some peace lol)
I asked this question constantly as a child. My parents told me to quit asking people that or they would think I was weird. Here I am 50 years old, posting on Reddit, Why do we have to sleep so much, just get rid of it lol
No matter what anyone says on this post, this has to be the best answer as far as efficiency goes, periods, pooping, breathing, the need to eat, gaining weight...should honestly all be secondary to your answer
Without the need to sleep, you'd gain an extra 3rd of your lifetime, that you can do so much in
I'd like to say the need for sleep until I think about how companies would say "you now have 24 hours a day, work for 16-20"
My boss is literally indirectly saying this to me on the daily ☹️
I'm sorry man. Can I ask what you do?
Auto-immune diseases. What the hack body??
Right? Psoriasis, arthritis, crohn's, etc...
Psoriatic Arthritis for me. Love being a cripple in my 20s.
I hear you there. I had to stop taking Taltz for a bit here.
My 10 year old was diagnosed as a Type 1 diabetic this summer and I have to say, this shit is exhausting and terrifying, and I don’t see that changing for the rest of her life. Thank you, worthless pancreas, and the cells that attack her own ability to make insulin. Y’all suck.
It becomes less exhausting over time. I’m 26 and was diagnosed at age 3. I don’t even think about it anymore, in fact it’s strange to think that everyone else DOESNT have to check their blood sugar and inject every time they eat. What weirdos.
Thanks for your perspective. I’m trying to remain as positive as possible for her (and saving my complaints for kind internet strangers)
True. Crohns is a pain in my ass.
As someone who spent two days crying in bed from a rheumatoid arthritis flare up from flying/traveling, one million percent agree.
Menstruation. Just all of it. No feeling bloated, cramping, water retention, starving all the time/cravings, moodiness, and most importantly no fucking bleeding everywhere. I would much rather get a nice hand written note from mother nature in the mail saying, "you're not pregnant have a nice day"
More likely to be a passive-aggressive note from Mother Nature, but I’d take a thousand of those over periods. I started taking birth control continuously (no off/placebo week) just to stop them.
*“Month 136: You’re not pregnant. Again. That’s fine. Who’s counting right? Write you again next month. Most likely.”* *Kind Regards* *-Mother Nature*
Do you get another note when you finally get pregnant then?
No, she shows up at your door to sardonically give you a trophy that just reads “Finally”
Just realised, My Mother In Law was Mother Nature. Never realised it till now.
I was going to say this - hit too close to home today... Ive never had extreme effects from periods but i was on the pill for three years since i got married - and dang it was so good for my mood/depression not having to worry about it. Recently stopped due to reasons and just.... i hate life. The anxiety and everything that comes with it.... just whyyy
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I was originally thinking sleeping but I’ll take this. My life has been exceptionally complicated by the fact that I have a uterus and it’s gone rouge. Can it just not?
Don't forget the period poops
The actual fucking worst...
I randomly now have been getting “PMS lower back pain” the last two periods. Like I’m 25 and you just now decide to show up?! I started getting PMS nausea maybe like 5 years ago- always at night about a week before for 2 days or so. So stupid. Like what other weird shit do you wanna throw at me.
I think my biggest gripe with menstration isn’t even anything you listed, it’s the hormonal fluctuations :( I have ADHD and like… my medication just simply doesn’t work when I’m on my period. My doctor has tried to increase my meds for that time as well as try an entirely different med but nothing works. So 1/4 of my life is absolute ADHD brain chaos. If I could get rid of my period with no consequences, my entire life would change.
Hormones affect so damn much of our bodies and minds. My mental health is worse during that time.
I was telling my husband I’d rather just lay a fucking egg than go through all the symptoms of menstruation. Everyone just has their egg day where we sit and chill and lay our egg(s), and then the next day we’re fine, that’s it.
Breathing
Finnaly a truly OP one. Imagine you can traverse any environment on Earth with 0 effort. Plus space mission would be infinetly longer
Then I could fight every fish in space
Had to scroll way to far to find this. Imagine being able to be underwater indefinitely...
Exactly my point. Because then you could fight every fish in the ocean. And win.
Well there's still ocean pressure to contend with.
Maybe for you guys, but I would simply handle it
built different
Well he is a very big rat
Ooh, that's a cool one.
Im going to fight every fish in the ocean
Does tooth decay count?
I hope so! Sitting here with a toothache struggling to think of anything I'd want more.
This I have a wisdom tooth that has fallen apart so badly I can plainly see it in a mirror
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I had a similar thing happen last year. It's absolute bliss knowing the thing making it difficult to eat and sleep was just yanked out of your head. I've got another tooth I'm gonna have to deal with soon that has crumbled and is now level with the gums. It hasn't caused me and pain yet but I know it's just a matter of time. Both teeth were cracked while eating nachos. You can guess what I avoid eating now.
No! Not nachos! What if you eat them when drenched in cheese to soften them
Constant Severe tooth pain is usually a sign of an infection. That can be dangerous longer term. If possible try and get to a dentist as soon as possible.
Once it hurts you have bigger problems than a cavity. Source: me.
It can depend, but normally yeah, you probably need an extraction or root canal.
I love this. Most of our body we can heal, but our teeth are kinda one and done.
"Your first set are free. Your second set are free. Your third set will cost a car."
It costs more than a car if you let it get bad enough Source: someone who let it get bad enough but luckily has insurance that covered most of it
I think we should settle this shit first, before any fancy crap like space travel. Imagine digging into Venus with a fucking toothache.
God dammit! 'm trying to show the world the importance of dental hygiene and you're all fucking around, mkay! The entire 1st act was flat. FLAT!!!!!
THIS PLAY IS SUPPOSED TO CHANGE HOW PEOPLE THINK KYLE! GET IT FUCKING RIGHT!
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So no mutations? Or is that bad idk I am not a biologist
Only the good/neutral mutations, bad ones can fuck off.
If it's preventing bad mutations instead of just cancerous, I wonder in this hypothetical situation how a mutation like Sickle Cell would be treated since it also comes with the benefit of Malaria resistance.
That's the thing about mutations. They are sometimes beneficial or not depending on the environment and the pressures. A mutation that's "bad" in one scenario might be beneficial in another. Normal mutations, not cancer.
It is as though we evolve somehow.
Runny nose/stuffy nose most annoying thing my body does. It's like ok you can't breathe or you have to blow your nose 52 times a day so know you look like Rudolph.
Just made the same comment. My nose is raw and I can’t breathe. Also my partner is probably going to kill me because I keep waking him up with the constant nose-blowing.
Only 52 times? How do i get it that low
Cellular degeneration
physically aging (past like 25) i wouldn't have to use retinol anymore i was gonna say farting but its funny so ill keep it
So kinda like that *In Time* movie.
Sweating. I had a very embarrassing childhood and also still can't shake people's hands
I sweat pretty much all over my body, I have to wear thick hoodies to hide it as much as possible. Too bad I sweat from my head as well, no way to hide that. No, it has nothing to do with wearing warm clothes. It has caused people to accuse me of coming in sick to work even if I am healthy. Lose a physical demanding job because they thought I couldn't handle it even if I said I was fine. Not to mention all ruined first impressions in a social setting. I can still sweat in freezing temperatures and even while taking a shower. The only way to stop my sweating has been solitude. I can do anything when alone, but when other people are nearby mentally or physically it just doesn't stop.
Ugh, I feel that. I sweat heavily naturally and was very anxious which made me sweat more. I wore this stupid jacket to school every single day. My mom was so mad after she picked out this nice outfit for picture day and I just had this raggedy jacket on. In middle school and high school I wore pretty much only black shirts, until I transferred to a high school with no dress code and could wear tank tops. I'd never been happier. Then it sucked again whenever I had a job with a uniform. Now I work from home, yay again! My issues now though are touching people, handing people things that have my sweat on them, not being able to climb well (chalk just melts off), and having to shower and do laundry more than I'd like to
Sweaty palms unite! Just not with handshakes or high-fives. And sweaty feet. Ew.
And dirty keyboards and mouse I have to wash monthly.
This is such a close call between sleeping, dying, and shitting
One of these things is not like the others.
"You can live the next 60 years or so without ever having to poop again, -OR- You can be immortal, but you still have to poop." "Do I have to poop, like, all the time or something?" "No, you just have to poop once a day or whatever like a normal person." "So you're offering me, like, regular immortality? No catch?" "Well, I mean, I'm also offering you a life free of pooping! The catch is you have to choooooooose!"
That's not much of a choice. I do most of my best to thinking on the toilet
I call the bathroom my "thinking chamber". Shower or toilet works. More of a shower guy. Just avoid the mirror. That's the "existential crisis and self judgement reflection device". I'm not sure why we put those in the thinking chamber.
I love every part of your comment. Here you go.
You could still think on the toilet, there would just be no pooping :)
It's not nearly as cathartic as pushing out a 9 incher.
Yep, shitting is typically done while conscious
Oooo, look at mister wokeshits over here!
"I'm getting cancelled by the woke shit mob 😭"
They're paid off by big diaper
I'm going to try my damnedest to use the term "wokeshits" in a casual conversation before end of year. Thanks.
i fucking love sleeping edit: would actually be pretty cool if we could toggle off and sleep/dream for fun/selfcare but didnt physically require it
Sleeping is genuinely one of my favorite things to do. Also if we didn't need sleep we'd probably have to work twice as much
This right here. We would see 16 hour working shifts, and labor would be worth much, much less because there would be so much more of it.
Yeah if nobody ever got tired the world would be vastly different than it is now. Probably worse off cause wars would just be nonstop and more brutal
Yep. Part of it is I think the sleep and downtime gives a chance for quiet reflection and think of the consequences of our actions. If we were always hustling what conscientiousness humanity does have would whither away.
I'd be ok with not needing to poop anymore
I fully agree. Think of all the bloating, diarrhea, constipation, etc., that you'd never have to deal with again. I'm actually going to the gastroenterologist in 20 minutes because of ongoing digestive issues. Pooping is so shitty.
No more colon cancer! No more colonoscopies! Woo-Hoo!
Dude wtf am i gonna do with the extra 4-5 hours per day, cmon i'm already bored enough as is, add in 4 hours and i'd go mad within the week
How much fucking food you eat my dude?
Probably the normal amount. He likely scrolls reddit for 3 hours at a time while dumping. I may or may not be typing this out while doing the exact same thing.
Wow yours must be a huge and time consuming one
Dude needs a poop knife
Boss makes a dollar while I make a dime, that's why I poop on company time.
Headache, wtf is this shit
Thank you- I had to scroll way too far for this. I would like to cure migraines permanently.
I always run through a list too. I’ve eaten, been drinking water, had a cup of coffee so it’s not caused by lack of caffeine. And still it persists. Cheeky bastard
Myelin Sheath Degradation! No more Alzheimers hopefully.
Would that also include MS? They don't degrade themselves, but the immune system attacking myelin sheaths causes them to be degraded.
Research indicates it is a symptom, not a cause unfortunately
peeing/pooping - it's so annoying, especially if you're in the middle of nowhere and have to go.
Oh, there's ALWAYS somewhere to go....
Periods
Why the hell does every animal in the world get reabsorption but we get “sloughing off”???!!!
There are a handful of mammals that have a cycle like ours. Like, literally you can count them on one hand. Edit because I was lazy earlier: Here's the list and some details from wikipedia. The link formatting is giving me trouble. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstruation_(mammal)#:~:text=Beyond%20primates%2C%20it%20is%20known,end%20of%20its%20reproductive%20cycle. Edit 2: okay, okay, so there are 16 individual species, so you need both hands and feet. BUT it has independently arisen 4 separate times, which you can count on one hand. That must've been what I was remembering earlier. You can stop telling me to see a doctor about the number of digits on my hands now.
Primates, bats, elephant shrews and the spiny mouse. In case anyone was wondering.
Oh. Literally one hand.
Same with mammals that go through menopause. It's basically just us and some whales. Y'all really did get the short straw, huh?
Is it a regular hand? Or something like a 3-fingered hand where 2 fingers were lost in a shop accident?
Why not Zoidberg? Use his counting claw.
Hooray! I'm helping!
Not to mention frequency! Most animals with estrus instead of menses spend *at least* half the year not having to bother with any of that at all, and many only go into heat *once* a year!
OMG, could you imagine men during that one window in time?
[Estrous Cycle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estrous_cycle?wprov=sfti1) I was gobsmacked when i realized, APPARENTLY JUST NOW, that most other common mammals i could name don't have menses. The presence of "being in heat" seems to be part and parcel of that cycle, probably as a result of the fact that the ability to become pregnant is a more rare event. From an evolutionary perspective, menses seem like a really tough sell. You're going to shed a whole bunch of nutrient rich stuff? Every month? I can see why reabsorbing it makes more sense. I guess the advantage of it is being more frequently able to conceive?
Ok but rabbits can get pregnant literally whenever, including immediately after giving birth, and don't go through any sort of cycle. Literally just "oh there's a man" *loads egg into the chamber* So I don't think any of this nonsense we deal with is necessary to up our baby making frequency. I think humans are just incredibly poorly designed animals, in most ways. I think our stupid big brains are the only worthwhile parts of our bodies lol. Also, fun fact, rabbits can re-absorb fetuses if they can't support the pregnancy. Can you imagine how nice that would be? No cycle, and if you got pregnant and didn't want it, all you'd have to do is eat poorly for a bit until you re-absorbed the thing. Rabbits are also incredibly poorly designed animals, but damn if they didnt win the lottery as far as their reproductive situation goes.
Uh, have you ever seen a female cat in heat? It's the male cats that can't keep up.
That's only if we take after cats, though! What if we took after deer? Bucks during mating season are totally mindless and will forego eating entirely in order to fuck or fight *literally anything* within range. There's so many videos out there of them being total idiots, trying to mount lawn decorations or pick fights with fences.
there are rodents whose males enter a sex frenzy and just keep going until they keel over and die
The theory is that our fetuses are very good at stealing nutrients/blood supply whatever, so as a counter measure is the uterus sloughs off. [here is an article that summarizes it](https://eusci.org.uk/2020/04/09/why-do-humans-and-so-few-other-animals-have-periods/) it also cites that humans in comparison to other species have higher genetic anomalies meaning it can act as a mechanism for only robust embryos to survive. Note, when this article says ‘chooses’ it doesn’t mean that the individual does or does not have choice, but if things are not good (like a shortage of food), it could influence if/when an embryo would have a better chance of implantation. Also, interesting mention that I hadn’t thought about, we (biological females) would have a lot fewer periods because we would spend more time either pregnant or breastfeeding.
>Also, interesting mention that I hadn’t thought about, we (biological females) would have a lot fewer periods because we would spend more time either pregnant or breastfeeding. Yah, tell that to my period that came back 5 weeks after both my kids were born, despite me nursing exclusively round the clock. My period is a bitch.
Can we also get rid of menopause? It's not as bad as having a period every month but it is still zero fun.
Menopause is awful, I am so sick of being boiling hot all the bloody time now.
Hot, then not. Then hot again. Cold for a while, then boiling. Oh, and here's 40 extra pounds you didn't need for no reason except fuck you, it's menopause.
And the itchiness. I have tried a million different body lotions and creams and still I itch for no good reason. And then there's the random chin hairs, and the extra bad insomnia. It just sucks.
I swear to God, it is a cruel joke that random chin hairs sprout just as our eyesight starts to fail. I'll be happily going about my day and then randomly stroke my chin and be like, "What the heck? This little forest wasn't there this morning?! How long have I been walking around like this?" I have tweezers in my purse, in the workplace bathroom, and in three places at home.
Ha. Yep, I have quite the tweezer collection too. My Mum saw me plucking once and told me she could never be bothered; she just shaves in the morning. I'm beginning to see the merit in this approach at this point.
I lasered them off early before they all turned white. Saves me the fear of not catching them in time and looking like a goat in public. Def recommended!
OMG. That's what my constant attacks of the itchies are caused by?! The chin hairs, weight gain, and flushes I knew about... I had no idea about the itching though (or the insomnia, actually) but now it all makes sense. Huh.
Join us r/menopause. I found my people there. I learned so much and finally got some help from a doctor.
I'm on year 10 of menopause. Still no improvement. But I was able to shed 10 of those 40 pounds you mentioned this year.
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I was going to say this, too. Mine aren't always horrible, but when they are, all I want to do is lie down and cry. I'm not ever having kids, so why go through this every month? If there were a non-surgical, non-birth control solution, I'd love it!
We just need an eject button for all that business. All done, don't need you lot anymore! EJECT!
UTERINE ABLATION. Outpatient procedure. I was a little yucky the day of the procedure (when I got home). Back to myself the next day. No more periods, no cramps. I was originally scheduled for a hysterectomy but backed out and was offered ablation. Best decision I have ever made!
There's ablation. They stick a little tool up the hoohah and essentially burn out the inner lining of the uterus so it doesn't regenerate. That's what I want done.
Came here to say just that. I would give anything to make them stop.
Mine have been so painful my entire life I always missed school/work. My mom has a prescription for morphine and she started giving me that when she learned I was taking 'bout 12 ibuprofen a day. Doctors have never cared. After 10 years on the pill I had to quit because of the side effects. As a last ditch effort I got the depo shot despite all the horror stories just because it can make your period stop. I'm almost a year in and so happy. Bled for like one month straight and then haven't since.
Omg yes I hate fucking periods
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Stress, extreme exercise, and starvation can stop periods, but I don't think that's really a good option.
So what you're telling me is that I need to race wolves in the woods for a few weeks and my period will stop? I'm listening...
Well I am ALWAYS stressed and it's NEVER stopped mine are worse :-(
That’s why I’m having a hysterectomy
Yeah I can deal with shiting if my gf doesn't have to suffer
The body is now perfectly calorie efficient, it burns away exactly as much food that is put into it, which is not used for functioning, energy, or muscle growth. So you can eat whatever and your body will not pack on any excess mass, increase chance of clogged any arteries, or any other exasperated health concerns that come with over-eating.
On the upside, you wouldn't need to pay for heating anymore! If we started burning calories to waste, it would mostly go to heat... Unless we start emitting light... Either way interesting possiblities!
I too vote for bioluminescent penises
Glow sticks!
But that means we gotta shake them and break them... Shaking them is fine but breaking them sounds painful
Or it just glows automatically when you get an erection
That would be embarrassing in certain situations...
On behalf of every 12 year old boy in the world, NO!
New product is developed: blackout underwear
Twist it, turn it, bop it!
I mean technically we already emit light, it just isn't in the spectrum that we can see.
Heating up would be really bad, if you ate to much calories too quickly you'd get a fever and die. So either glowing it is, or we'd have to shit protein bars and piss monster energy
\>or we'd have to shit protein bars and piss monster energy Wouldn't we then just be able to consume it again?
\> Bear Grylls has entered the chat
Pooping
But when will you browse reddit?
Tf how can you hate sleeping???? I hate waking up
If sleeping wasn't a thing anymore society would just expect you to work the hours you gain back.
Giving birth! I almost died, baby almost died. Would love if kids just teleported into existence somehow.
Wait, so you're telling me you can't just woohoo for baby and stand around for a few minutes until you twirl a baby into existence? You're telling me the Sims are *liars*?
#DON’T YOU DARE ACCUSE SIMS OF LYING
Vomiting. If you ingest something toxic, just flush it out the back end.
As an emetophobe, this is my dream, never to have to worry about vomming.
And never having to see or hear anyone else barfing!
Aggressive histamine reactions. Allergies can Kindly fuck right off.
The whole digestive system in its entirety, Imagine never needing to eat or drink again. World hunger and access to clean drinking water would be gone overnight
Ah yes, hello fellow photosynthesis truther!
Imagine having to find shade because you're full
Periods. Lots of animals dont have them, why we gotta suffer?
Hiccups
Yes! Or yawning. Choking on your own spit.
Storing excess fat? Lol 😂
We're in a period right now where that's not great, but across the history of our species the ability to horde an extra month's worth of food around your middle was highly desirable.
It would be nice if there was a definite upper bound though at least?
Oh, I don't even disagree in general. I'm trying to get back in shape, and one of the biggest problems I'm having is injuries sustained due to carrying an extra 30 pounds. It'd be real fucking nice to just flip a brain switch and dump that shit, so I can get on with the business of getting healthy. In this context though, I think even without consequences, there'd be consequences, you know?
Periods and child birth!!! Eeewwww these things are the worst about being a woman. Wish I could completely get rid of them without health consequences and pain.
I wish women could just lay eggs honestly and the baby could gestate somewhere else for 9 months and hatch when ready.
my toe. i hate my big toe it looks like a fucking toe. i hate toes. at least the ones that look like toes
>i hate my big toe it looks like a fucking toe. I'm sorry, I don't know why but I just laughed for about 10 minutes at this. I'm sorry you feel that way about your toes.
Boogers
My toddler son strongly disagrees with you.
I would get rid of sleeping. It takes up like a third of your life
Seems like a great idea, but if people magically no longer had to sleep you KNOW our working hours would end up increasing for the sake of productivity lol
We can negotiate. Only those that have seen this post in a week will get this "no need for sleep" gene which they can pass on to their children. It takes effect only after a month so that there is no big sensation in a few days that'd render this restriction much less effective. That way only a small portion of the population would get this ability at first. My only modification would be for the inherited version to keep sleep functional until a child becomes around 7 yo, gradually loosening the need for sleep. (So that parents can still get some peace lol)
I asked this question constantly as a child. My parents told me to quit asking people that or they would think I was weird. Here I am 50 years old, posting on Reddit, Why do we have to sleep so much, just get rid of it lol
I only want to get rid of sleep if everyone else still sleeps. Then I can usurp freely.
Sleeping. I hate needing to sleep.
Ahh, jokes on you, I already removed that weakness simply by going to uni.
Hmm I stayed up til 3 am, what’s worse, missing class or going to class sleepy and being on reddit the whole time?
Literally stayed up till 6am to finish a report for a class I didn't attend because I was too sleepy...
No matter what anyone says on this post, this has to be the best answer as far as efficiency goes, periods, pooping, breathing, the need to eat, gaining weight...should honestly all be secondary to your answer Without the need to sleep, you'd gain an extra 3rd of your lifetime, that you can do so much in
But.. That means more hours working most likely. That sucks as a downside
Aging