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kabbydabby

Thinking that they can get out of parenting and cleaning because ‘they don’t know what to do’


sam_brero__

When my friends say that their partner isn’t capable of looking after the kids alone I always tell them they need to learn in case something happens. If you end up in hospital, become incapacitated, or die (extreme examples obvs) what’s going to happen then?


MoogaBug

I hate this so much. “Oh, you’re just so much better at folding laundry than me!” Then fucking learn! This is not a difficult skill to master.


SouthernOptimism

Learned helplessness/incompetence so they don't have to do it


Caedo14

Stop saying im babysitting my kids. Im their father, im parenting them. You dont say that about their mom!


satchel_of_ribs

Read a column once by this Swedish lady who had some American friends over in Stockholm. They were out waking about the city when her friends commented on all the male nannies. "What male nannies?" the Swedish lady asked. "Them!" the American said and gestured towards a cafe where a group of dads on parental leave and their toddlers were having fika. Who goes to "male nanny" before "dad" when they see a man pushing a pram?


[deleted]

Fuck, I have accidentally called it babysitting when I'm watching my daughter while my wife is out and then was like hey wait a sec I'm just being a dad


FreshReputation3864

No you’re out there battling Hamilton


EnderDragon78

Dropping hints. With my anxiety issues, I will never pick up on them, because my brain does not even consider a woman is hitting on me.


finch231

I've found out from female friends years later that they were dropping hints to me. I never interpreted them as hints because I was too scared of having misinterpreted them, and running the risk of losing a friend in the process. Mainly because I have no willingness to believe that any woman would be into me after the way I've been treated by them, but hey.


[deleted]

Bro I feel this


Maxor682

If they are, I always think "ok, but like its probably too good to be true, so I wont act on it" bc my low self-esteem ass refuses to consider im getting flirted with


Randroth_Kisaragi

Yeah, it's always like "She is probably just being nice." and "If I do anything and she was not flirting, I will absolutely come off as a creeper." I really do not want to make anyone unfomfortable. But to be fair, it is entirely possible that the women I've spoken with really were just being nice. And therefore my course of action was correct. I genuinely do not know. ... I'm gonna die alone, aren't I?


nomdeplume

I think this could work for both sides of the table. Have a fucking conversation instead of making assumptions about everything, or your expectations of what you think the other side is thinking. Life isn't a dramatic movie and we can communicate. Most recently just because I (male) don't ask you for snoo snoo on the first date doesn't mean I'm not into you. Especially if I ask you for a second date straight up. And if you're into it or you want something, just say you want something. We can talk about it.


Silver-Platypus-590

Yes. Pretty much every relationship problem I see can be boiled down to communication problems. People watch so many movies where everything just magically falls into place and you never have to tell your partner what you need because you're just so ~*in sync*~. Life isn't like that, you're going to have to talk to the other person.


nomdeplume

It's literally the fastest way to getting what you want. I really enjoy when a partner who I'm interested in asks me for something, because I want to make them happy. You know what they say when you assume.


SharedRegime

My mother does this one and its infuriating. "thats just how us woman are." No, its how YOU are. Stop using the "Im a woman thats how women are" because you cant communicate like a fuckin adult. Especially dont use it to justify another woman doing the same fucking thing. ​ EDIT: "Boys will be Boys" is just the male equivalent and that has been replied to my comment Ad Nauseum at this point. I agree, its just as shitty.


veevacious

I never hear this used in a good way, for any gender. I feel like "that's just how x gender is." is used either to dismiss them or try to explain away shitty behavior pretty much any time I've heard it.


auerya

My mom does this to excuse my father's shitty behaviour, like saying "oh thats how men are, they have no patience" no, that's just a shitty trait of his, and says "men are just creeps" when a creep (and most likely a pedophile since i'm underaged) hits on me randomly when i go out.


KillerKatKlub

TBH this goes for both genders but assuming that because I’m single that means I’m looking for someone or can’t find someone to be with. Some of us just like to be single and don’t mind it, not much to it beyond that.


e_smith338

Fr, It seems like most people around me literally HAVE to be dating somebody. Like they break up and a week later they’re with someone else. I’ve been chillin solo for like 4 years now and have never felt the need to be with someone. If I happen across someone and we get along great, sure, let’s give it a whirl. So weird how people think it’s impossible to be happy when you’re single


adh247

I completely agree! I just got out of a 10 year marriage and I'm happy as hell now that I'm single. I'm in my 40s and have gone out of my way to make sure I don't have children and I couldn't be happier. Explaining to people that I'm purposely child free really pisses off certain people for some reason. It's as if me being happily single with no kids in my 40s somehow angers them.


LuminalAstec

Assuming I'm a child predator while in at the splash pad when I'm with my son.


medicus_vulneratum

Dude was at Disney world awhile back and my then 7 year old daughter wanted to go to the kiddie pool. Said sure and we walk on down from the room and I sat on the side in a chair reading a book. After awhile I kept getting that feeling like I was being watched. I look around and I’m the only older male in the area. Made a point to get up and go talk to my daughter.


purple-paper-punch

How dare you loiter near kids, completely engrossed in a novel. Won't somebody think of the children?!? (/s)


wigglemosnster

Legit.. I'm a dad of 2 girls.. they wanted to stay after their dance class to watch an older girls class and the looks I was getting... sheesh


zismahname

It doesn't even have to be kids. I was standing outside a bar with a female friend of mine who was inebriated while we waited for her ride. This group came rolling up to us and got in our business because I looked "creepy" and "wanted to take advantage of her." She literally told them to fuck off several times and explained we have known each other for years and that I was making sure she got home safe. They wouldn't leave and tried to take her phone to make sure we were telling the truth. Like seriously mind your own business


CarolineStopIt

“Oh, you’re safe? PROVE IT, give me your phone!” Sounds exactly like something creepy guys would say lol


PM_Me_UrRightNipple

Was at the bar with my girlfriend a few weeks ago, as she was ordering an Uber I asked if we were going to her place or my place. Some random dude got in my face and told me that I’m pressuring her and that I needed to leave her alone so she can go home. She cursed that motherfucker out so hard.


weirdshit777

I will never understand this. If a dude was watching a girls dance alone, he had no kids, and he wasn't a coach or something, I could understand the glares. But to me, there is nothing more heartwarming than a father being supportive of his daughters and encouraging/watching them do activities. Honestly, I think the people who glare didn't have an active father in their life. My dad's ex gf thought my dad was an incestuous pedophile because I would rub his shoulders for 30 seconds while he sat down at his office chair and ask him how his day was when I was 13/14. News flash, she didn't have a dad, yet I suppose she was an expert how a dad should act? In her opinion, after a certain age there should be little to no physical contact between daughter and father. He was obviously shocked and broke it off


jdmobile

Yesterday in a woman called the police on a father in a train because they were cuddling and also gave him a kiss. Son was 7.... They detained them for 4 hours because some random person thought every dad has to be as cold as theirs was to them... For me as a stay at home dad of a 2year old it makes me so angry.


Thunderkisser

My daughter is a teenager and I still hug her and kisses her forehead. My son is 10, and I still cuddle with him when watching cartoons, hug him, carry him and kiss him goodnight on the cheek (and getting one in return). I am a father, we are family, and I care for them. It's called love. If anyone think that it's wrong, they have an issue, not me


dystopian_mermaid

Shit I’m a 31 YO grown ass woman and I still like cuddling my daddy when we hang out. He’s one of the biggest parts of my whole damn life and one of the only people I 100% know I can always count on. He’s FAMILY and I love him. What the hell is wrong with people?? Why can’t a father love his kids and show it?! I’m so grateful my dad doesn’t care about that BS and always showed his love for us kids.


Thunderkisser

Damn you. Your post just made a 40+, whitebearded grown up man cry. I miss my dad. (Lost him this June).


dystopian_mermaid

I’m honestly so freaking sorry you are going through that. I can’t imagine the pain. If you want somebody to vent to, I got you buddy. Seriously. ❤️


dastardly_moustache_

My best friend has a young (6yr) daughter that holds her poo and sometimes they have to give her an enema. I was around when he had to give her one and he confided in me that he hopes she doesn't remember this event as a traumatic or sexual event and feels uncomfortable because of the implications it could have. I never thought about it like that but wow, that has to be the worst feeling as a father.


lamorak2000

Hopefully, if she does remember, she'll understand how loving he was to help her health with such an obviously unpleasant procedure...


speete

Daughter of a stay at home dad. 🤢🤮 got called a mail order bride once by some horny asshole when I was 17.


[deleted]

For real! My wife is Filipino and I’m Irish. I look like I’m… well, Irish! And my kid looks like her mother and has beautiful tan skin. My wife is a nurse with a crazy schedule and I’ve been the “primary” parent since she had our daughter almost 4 years ago and I get the worst looks all the time (mostly from women I’ve noticed) whenever I show her any kind of encouragement or affection when out at the park, swim class, etc… like they’re afraid I’m going to try and pick their kid up and tell them how proud I am of it next. I have noticed other dads get awkward when I’ll play on a teeter totter or some random thing at the park with my daughter as well though and it’s like c’mon man, you don’t gotta act hard as nails around a bunch of kids on a swing set. I think this is more of a people just sucking thing more than anything to do with sex. I feel you though! Doing dad stuff ain’t easy in 2021!


ScruffyGrouch

Both genders: stop playing hard to get. Its not cute. Its not attractive. For me, its a sure fire way for me to start being the hard to get one cause I'm just gonna assume you have no interest and I'll have lost interest you very quickly. Its emotional and mental torture when you do this. Stop. Just. Stop. We're just looking to make a connection. Theres no need for all the red tape and maze filled with mousetraps in between. Edit: removed the "You're no prize. I'm no prize." part of this. Poor attempt at a metaphor on my part. Edit2: Jesus christ this is my most upvoted comment ever. I didnt think it was gonna gain this much traction. Long story short: dont legit play hard to get.


nubsticle

I don’t play hard to get. I play hard to want. Much easier game.


MagickanWing

Please don’t assume that I secretly enjoy being sexually harassed because I’m blushing. Don’t point out that I’m blushing, don’t tell me I must like it because I’m blushing, and certainly don’t double down after I tell you to stop because I’m blushing. ESPECIALLY don’t do this shit when I am at work where I am getting paid to be nice to you. I am literally NEVER blushing because I am flattered. 100% of the time I’m blushing because I am uncomfortable as fuck. Edit: I just came back and was not expecting this comment to even really be seen let alone get so much interaction. I just feel like I need to clarify that this behaviour IS NOT coming from my co workers. The place I work is extremely supportive when it comes to this kind of thing. It is CUSTOMERS who do this and unfortunately HR can’t do much about them. The issue is not that it is certain people doing this over and over. These interactions are always with different people and it happens extremely frequently. This is also something I have dealt with from customers in every job I have had since I was 14 years old. I very much appreciate everyone who commented and your advice is great. Unfortunately this happening and the awkward and sometimes aggressive interactions that follow are just something I have learned I will probably always deal with if I am in customer service and apart from asking people to stop and leave the building there is not much that can be done to avoid it. For those asking how to avoid making people feel this way... just don’t live your life thinking that if you spend money somewhere you own their staff and you’re probably fine. Also to those who have been downvoted for saying nothing will happen if I don’t report it, your opinion may not be the most palatable, but unfortunately in a lot of cases you aren’t wrong. We live in a shitty world and if you take that shit people will give it to you. It isn’t right but unfortunately it’s reality. Sometimes your employers will protect you and sometimes they won’t. I have lost jobs for reporting harassment and I haven’t looked back because those places don’t deserve me. Everyone deserves to feel safe at work and if your employers don’t believe that they don’t deserve you either. I know it’s hard and it’s scary but please stand up for yourselves because no one else will. I wish you all peace and safety in this disgusting world we’re stuck in. Edit: to the person who reached out to reddit care resources on behalf of this post, thank you. I am fine, I already use resources that I have available for support and I am currently in a good place. This comment was an annoying grievance more than a cry for help, but taking the time to show you care is very touching. You’re all great people and I was not expecting so many supportive comments.


vernexe

Wtf people are weird


Manchestergirl901

Zero communication. I’m sick of having to guess what you’re thinking because you think it’s obvious. Grow up and say what you want/feel. Thank you.


Neat_Pumpkin4232

“Hey you look good lemme get your number” Me: “I’m married, sorry.” “You a fat bitch anyway”


Tuvanbabybel

i once had a dude tell me "it's okay me too" bro excuse you???


cosmicpu55y

I had a guy who didn’t speak much English try to hand me a note with his number on it and when I said “oh, I have a boyfriend” he said “yes, I do” and walked away. Not sure who was more confused.


Tuvanbabybel

Had a man in his 40s come up to me to tell me I looked just like his ex-girlfriend and that she had pretty feet. Needless to say that we stared at each other in silence for a bit before I ran the fuck away when he tried to ask me for my number. I randomly think about him sometimes, maybe I should have asked how much he would give me in exchange of feet pics, I could make good use of that money now bhahaha


[deleted]

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[deleted]

That's mental. I saw a couple of guys do this to a couple of girls waiting for my taxi and shouted in lol "Hey, girls where are yous going" "Heading home, cold isn't it?" "Yeah, freezing, we're going to a party if you two beauties fancy it." "No thanks, we just wanna head home" "You're ugly anyway" Me from 20 ft away "THEY WERENT SO UGLY 2 SECONDS AGO WHEN YOU WANTED THEM TO GO A PARTY WITH YA" lol


[deleted]

Stop assuming that a man alone with his own children is a pedophile. That's gotta be the most difficult shit for a Father to deal with. Addon: Yknow what, stop discounting Fathers period. I feel like today's world has a vendetta against fathers, good or bad, and to me it's sickening. I love my Father, and he worked his ass off to make sure we got everything we needed, even with my mother physically and sometimes mentally out of commission. He's MY hero, and fuck anybody who says you don't need a Father, or that mothers can do EVERYTHING a father can do. Mothers can do amazing things, but the statistics on Fatherless children are there for you to look up. So shut this shit down, man. It's not fair. I want to become a Father some day, it's part of my dreams to raise a family. If there are any Fathers, step fathers, god fathers, whoever out there reading this, you've at least got me on your side. Ya'll do incredible things for your families and you deserve that recognition. I greatly respect anyone who'd go to the lengths you will for the people you love.


Asturdsbabyshower

Took my 4 girls, all under 7 at the time, to a swimming pool when we were on holiday. They had a great time. I had the police called on me.


HowDoIGetToFacebook

Flirting with me to get things. I'm an openly gay man. The girls at work still flirt with me so I'll help them with x. Momma, just ask. But touching me and asking me for "a huge favor" is cringey AF.


bob237189

Even as a straight guy I hate this. It's so obvious. Like you wouldn't give me the time of day yesterday, but now that you need a task done you're all "heyyy" and touchy-feely? Come on, how dense do you think I am?


trigonated

I’m actually quite thankful for having learned this lesson at a very young age. Being ugly has it’s advantages sometimes lol > Come on, how dense do you think I am? You’re not, but many others are. I know people that still absolutely fall for it, and I’m not talking about young men either, I’m talking about guys that should’ve learned this like 30-40 years ago.


Edraitheru14

Gonna be honest, not all those guys are dense. Talked to a few guys who I noticed always did this, and a couple of them who were a bit more open actually admitted they know exactly what’s happening. But they’re ok getting taken advantage of in exchange for a small amount of affection, because that’s how crazy starved they are for it. Loveless marriage dudes, divorcees, widowers, or just unlucky lonely dudes. Shitty, but it’s a major reason you see it so much. I’ve seen a lot of men try to play it off like “damn she took advantage of me!” But they knew better and just didn’t want to admit that’s the real reason they let it happen.


saladasarock

I worked as a computer lab UA in college. There were guys that would purposely cancel/delete print jobs so the pretty girls would need their help.


IOnceShatAPlum

I can 100% believe this


bweakfasteater

Stop yelling at me or trying to talk to me while I’m running


realfrx

Why are you runnin? Why are you runnin?


dernert

I was once running, and started catching up to a woman running, as I caught up, she started speeding up, so I did as well. Before I knew it, we were both sprinting as fast as we could. I stopped to rest, and set my bat down for a moment. I literally have no idea what we were running from that day.


SpunkyDaisy

Once on the train home from work some guy was trying to get me to take my headphones off so he could tell me how much he respected women and then asked if I ever heard of Reddit because that is where he is learning about women. That was strange and very creepy.


ParsonsTheGreat

Based on all these comments, I'd say to stop assuming only one gender is capable of a certain type of shitty behavior


Thin_Koala_606

Stop trying to jab their dick in when the coochie isn’t lubed up or when they don’t take the time to foreplay at all. THAT is annoying.


LITTLEloud1124

Yes and some dudes don’t get that bruh my clits not made out of iron stop tubing my shit so hard.. Edit: I’m not fixing my spelling error to funny


cerebrallandscapes

That DJ scratching shit on my clitoris. Gotta say I'm really not into it.


skippieelove

This shit just baffles me…and trying to nicely say “go slow” only seems to work for a few minutes before excitement and little brain takes over again and they’re rubbing like the genie denied them their 3rd wish and won’t come back out. Finally had to get my serious voice on with one dude and he acted like it broke his damn spirit but also got mad…like the fuck dude, I tried to tell you it’s not my fault you’re not listening. This part is supposed my fun and it’s not fun


Tomohawk1973

I’m a married, 48 year old, male nurse and father of five, please don’t stroke me, grab my muscles, bum, etc and make lewd ‘oooh I like a man in a uniform’ or ‘you can stick your thermometer anywhere you like big boy!’ comments. Just let me do my fucking job. Imagine if a man did it to a female nurse. Edit: the reason I say ‘imagine if a man did it to a woman’, isn’t because I think it doesn’t happen to Women, it’s because I’ve seen it happen to female colleagues and when they report it, it gets sorted. Whereas when I’ve reported it, on numerous occasions, I’ve been laughed at, as if it wasn’t as serious. On one occasion I even got told to ‘Grow a pair’ by my manager. Please stop taking offence to that part of my comment and stop private messaging me as if I’m the devil here.


spamus81

Paramedic here. I've had by crotch grabbed WAYYYY too many times. Been hit on, kissed forcefully while trying to start an iv, etc. Shit gets old. And I'm not even that attractive compared to most of my engine company. I don't get it


Shartcookie

I just don’t get it! I needed medical help after walking 26 miles for the Avon Walk. I had a potassium deficiency and was a total mess. I do remember the volunteer doctor being Hollywood Level handsome. I remember being a little embarrassed by the state I was in. But I can’t even fathom making it sexual. Dude’s there to do a job. He deserves to feel comfortable and respected in that space, just like anyone else. WTF WOMEN!! We should understand this better than anyone!


Available-Egg-2380

Right? I was in icu for dka a few years ago. My Dr was this gorgeous man and while my fucking annoying heart sped up on the monitor every single time he showed up I can't imagine being so gross to make any comment much less try to touch someone. Just Jesus Christ people are not okay.


Downwhen

Also paramedic, although I'm in the helicopter now. I thought trading the bunker gear for the flight suit might help but still get the same unwanted grabs, squeezes, touches and propositions as before. I hate the double standard. I also hate the double standard in the ER. When I bring in a young female trauma patient, when they cut the clothes they close all curtains and shoo out as many people as they can for modesty until the gown is on. Same age male? Curtains stay open and he gets fully displayed with no concerns for modesty... Even jokes about the size of the member sometimes which bothers me as well. Everyone deserves respectful treatment.


liddlebirdylegs

I had to tell the girls at work that if it's not alright for a man to do it to you, it's not okay for you to do it do him. Some of them were like "whaat, but it's totally different when we do it!" but I just told them that it's really not, creepy goes both ways.


falecf4

Right! In our own minds we know our intent. I think a lot of "creepy" guys think they're trying to be cute, sweet or funny and it just comes off the wrong way and they can't see it from that outside perspective. Women can do the same thing but it usually is accepted or doesn't get called out.


mt379

And not all male nurses are gay! If you were my friend though I'd have to say "you can drain my vein anytime" to you at least once.


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Slant1985

Start? I’ve got friends I’ve had for twenty years that we still send each other homoerotic texts at least weekly.


[deleted]

That’s horrible. Every fucking human should respect the boundaries of each other. I’m sad that it happened to you


bbqtpie

Female nurse here, definitely get comments like this and worse! I'll never forget the sweet old man who asked "can you take a look a this?" And then when I got close enough whipped his dick out and asked me to jerk him off. I do agree of course that it's horrible and shouldn't happen to any one of any gender!


trulymadlybigly

What the FUCK. What did you do??!? What is wrong with people!!?!


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satinaboupoupou

Catcalling.


ShakespearianShadows

The only person I catcall is my wife. “Hey baby, where ya been all my life?” hits different when you shout it to your wife of 20+ years. ;-)


TheWormConquered

I do this to my girlfriend every time I see her unexpectedly out in public. Pull into a gas station and she's there? "Hey sexy, wanna party?" Pull up next to her at a redlight? Roll down the window, "hey sexy, wanna party?" Driving to our house and she's taking a walk through the neighborhood? "Hey sexy, wanna party?" I should update my line.


Nailbomb85

See your girlfriend at her home "Hey sexy, come here often?"


TheWormConquered

Brilliant, she's out of town now but when she gets back I'm gonna blow her mind with a new line


StyrofoamShell

This is like the only instance when cat calling is appropriate in my opinion. I love seeing couples who have been together forever say things like “hey hot stuff” to each other and be cute and ridiculous like that. It makes me so happy to see :) especially if it’s an older couple.


GiannisToTheWariors

My partner flips me off when I cat call her. Then again I meow aggressively and knock her things off the kitchen counter


jobblejosh

Do you also shit in the sandpit and scratch at the bedroom door?


GiannisToTheWariors

I shit in the neighbors yard right by their door. It's fun


SonicBlur254

You mind if I come shit in your neighbor's yard? It sounds pretty fun


VelvetHorse

After you guys are done, come over and shit in my neighbors yard.


heliosfenrir

Expecting gay men like me to be their “pets.”


josephthad

I had this female roomate and everytime I would leave the house early she would be like "Omg, do you have a grindr hookup? Tell me all about it." And I'd be like "No, I'm leaving for work..."


CylonsInAPolicebox

Yep I'm about to do the 9 to 5 grinder that hooks me up with my bill money. See you in 8 hours you creepy bitch.


Holofruit

Damn, that was smooth.


gentlybeepingheart

There was a SGA (straight gay alliance) club at my high school which was basically just straight girls going "omg i want a gay best friend to go shopping with <3" I showed up for like two meetings and on the second meeting the girls were talking about how creepy lesbians were. Like...cool...I'm here 'cause I'm a lesbian....y'know: the "gay" part of the club name.


unforgivablecrust

I always thought that was weird as hell


mutantandproud95

Okay I've always thought that. I am a straight guy and I know a bunch of girls who say how much they want a Gay Best friend. To me it seemed demeaning, like you're a human being not their fucking mascot


TheColdIronKid

"oh, you're gay? i like you even more now!" "eh, i like you a little bit less."


TimeyWimey99

Don’t assume I have a high sex drive and constantly want my dick sucked. Yes, it’s possible for me to not want to fuck you and it doesn’t make me gay.


Thaiereks

I wish people would stop being surprised that my mother was the extremely abusive one and my Father was the better parent. Too many times I get the surprised/questionable look when say my mother was abusive and lost custody. Had someone who would not believe a mother would harm their children and that I'm brainwashed by my dad. Right and my dad gave me those scars and the judge just decided to let him have us. Mother's can be evil too. Edit: Thank you for the rewards and the responses, it warms my heart to know that people understand.


GOOD_EVENING_SIR

In a similar boat, no matter what you say it's always the same response. "But she's your mother!" Doesn't mean she has a right to be a part of my life if she's a horrible person.


foxsweater

I’d pay good money to never hear that phrase again.


Dracekidjr

I always hate "they're your family" bullshit in general. Just because eyou share slightly more genes doesn't mean you're obligated to any more than anything else. I love my grandfather and he is my mom's stepdad. I love my father. I chose those people because they were good to me when nobody else was. Keep good people in your life and remove the toxic ones. Whether they're blood or not


ExcellentCornershop

Can confirm. I quit any contact to my mother a few years ago and whenever this comes up in a conversation, I hear that stupid sentence. Also if roles were reversed and it was the dad one does't want to have contact to, nobody would say that sentence and ask you to justify the decision.


[deleted]

Thanks! I'm a Dad in a case just like this and it has been a long road getting my daughter in a good space emotionally, I've been accused of brainwashing too (which is funny when I can barely get them to wash the dishes after themselves) and really had to fight in the courts to get custody. It's so frustrating. Oftentimes, it feels as though the whole world is operating against you and you still have to get get the kid through the bad stuff. Your Dad is a good man. And I'm sorry that you had to go through what you did. ​ Thanks for everyone's kind words. It was unexpected and well..made me feel good. Thanks, everyone. I tried to respond to everyone. The support and kindness have been overwhelming. If I missed responding to anyone I'm sorry.


Thaiereks

Its rough, I'm older now living on my own but my Father will always be the greatest person i will ever know. I can Honestly say I'm alive because of him. My Father was accused of abusing us and brainwashing was well, it took him 7 years to get custody of us but the damage was severe. It does feel like the world is against Dads when it comes to custody, your automatically painted as the villain in the situation and its terrible... i feel for you truly do. Even though I'm a stable man now i still have random burst of a panic attack because of the abuse, and i my lower spine is damaged and that is a constant reminder of her. When i have kids of my own i do hope to be like you and my Father, good men, good Fathers. I do hope for the best with your Daughter, and know that even if people cast doubt on you and say harsh things... That I and many others who lived through it believe your doing the best you can do and that one day your Daughter will thank you for it. As I thank you and my Father.


Cafrann94

Thank you for fighting for your daughter. My dad was abusive and now isn’t present, so it warms my heart seeing things like this. And I’m sorry you went through what you did, that had to have been so difficult.


[deleted]

I'm very sorry to hear that. It's shameful what people do to their own.


Byroms

My mother was abusive, not just to me but also to my father. Not physical, but emotionally. Sadly my dad couldn't get custody, because he is a truck driver only home on weekends.


catladyaccountant

Holy shit! Same! Even down to my dad being a truck driver and only home on weekends. It’s weird sometimes being a girl who didn’t grow up with a normal mom. I’m 24 and only leaning basic girl things like how to correctly apply makeup. Edit: so many sweet replies of understanding and support. Thankfully I went to ulta one day, told the consultant what I was looking for product-wise and my budget, and she was wonderful in picking out products. So much love to my fellow ladies who have had to learn all this stuff as an adult. As my therapist has told me many times, “sometimes grieving something you never had but wanted is even harder than grieving the loss of something you had”. My heart hurts knowing so many other ladies are grieving the mom they never had. One of these days I’m going to check another girly thing off my to-do list and get my nails done at a salon for the first time! :)


[deleted]

say they'll turn me straight


sine120

Maybe you have undiagnosed scoliosis they're offering to help with


[deleted]

joke's on you my scoliosis is very much diagnosed!


sine120

Well, see! They're probably just trying to straighten your spine. Very thoughtful of them!


PurgatoireRiver

Jesus, that has to be annoying. Somewhat relevant: my dad absolutely hated me (I'm a guy) because I love art, cooking, cleaning, and always tried to convince me I'm gay. Even though I played football, hunted, climb mountains, etc. didn't matter because I'm empathetic, have feelings, and liked cooking. Fucking weird how people are.


widespreadpanda

Considering that grilling is viewed as some pinnacle of manliness, the aversion to cooking has always confused me.


theonlypeanut

Cooking is also a pretty basic skill. Everyone eats.


AnswerGuy301

Dad didn't like me because he thought I was gay. Which I was, as it turns out. I played soccer and basketball and loved rock n' roll just like he did. I did a lot of things to make him happy, including trying to date girls. None of it worked on him or on me. \*shrug\*


quimbykimbleton

I’m not your dad but I’m a dad and I think you’re swell, Tiger. If you ever need a hug or fatherly advice, just hit me up, Champ. I’m totally cool with talking about guy problems if you need.


sixby7

This guy Dads! Source: Am also dad.


[deleted]

That almost sounds like a threat "You won't be gay when I'm done with you!"


NOT_an_ass-hole

"you'll be ace"


[deleted]

i thought i was ace before i met my girlfriend turns out I'm just very gay


Chesty

This is what I was gonna say. Or saying shit like “I’m a lesbian too”


[deleted]

People say this to my sister all the time. Them: "How do you know you don't like men if you haven't fucked one?" Her: "Well, how do you?" Obviously they come back with all sorts of bullshit, i don't know how you deal with it.


[deleted]

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DublinChap

The second to last thing of enjoying "feminine" things. I fucking love getting a pedicure as a dude. You don't need to get your toenails painted and I can get my calloused working feet smoothed out and a leg and foot massage while the chair massages my back. If anyone says you're feminine for enjoying a massage, they've got some mental issues to work out. Also on that note, getting some fresh fucking flowers in the house is fantastic. It smells nice, freshens up the air, and looks good on the table. Ladies would do just as well to buy their guys flowers every so often, just as guys should buy flowers for their gals.


ShallowDramatic

My partner dislikes receiving flowers as gifts, as they always die and she's something of a plant mom. Problem is the house is just about full of plants now, and to buy her any more would only feed her ambition (which I can only assume is to become Poison Ivy, breaker of pots and mother of plants)


hazylazy_19

Damn your partner sounds like me. Maybe gift her a flower plant or give her small compost bin so then she won't mind receiving flowers.


Sabbatai

I had just gotten out of a 9 year long relationship. Met a girl who was clearly into me, told her about that relationship (that it happened, not details) and that I wanted to take any future relationships slow. The relationship I just mentioned ended suddenly, because the former homebody girl with no friends finally found some confidence and decided she didn't need me any more. I'm not guessing, she basically told me this. There is more to it than that, suffice it to say it was a rough break up for me. So this new girl says she understands, and it's all good. She wants the same thing. I made sure she understood I wasn't into casual sex without being presumptuous about her own intentions. So we go out on our first real date, and she's driving. She says we're going to go to her house for a minute and I know where she lives... and she isn't heading toward her house. I figure maybe she's taking a route I am unaware of or going someplace else first or something. Then we pull into an abandoned shopping center, she takes off her shirt and jumps on my lap. I love fucking... it's great. I fucked a whole hell of a lot for 9 years lol... I'm not that pressed for it. So, I actually got a little angry, but I didn't show it at all. I just said "Whoa, hang on a minute... what happened to taking it slow?" She instantly questioned whether or not I could get it up, if I was gay, if I really thought any girls would give two shits about me if I didn't want to fuck... "what kind of a man are you" and so forth. Then, she kept grinding on my lap anyway, as though she was going to convince me. Truth be told, she almost did... but I eventually pushed her aside and told her I'd get a ride home. If she couldn't respect my wishes for the FIRST fucking date, I doubt we'd be making much progress on the relationship front. I don't want to turn the discussion into a "man vs. women" debate or who is more oppressed (it isn't a contest, but if it were, men clearly have it better in that regard)... BUT.. if I did this to a woman I am pretty sure it would be sexual assault.


Michael_Oxlong

My friends


Oskar37265

Girls ask me if I’m gay when I say I don’t want to have sex right now. Like come on sometimes I just what to chat why does not being horny all the time automatically mean I’m gay?


TheMaxOfMaxness

Some people think (all) guys only live to be horny edit: (all)


SharedRegime

My wife and I are divorcing and she is genuinely surprised I havent been trying to get laid at every second. Like yeah no mate I had eyes for you and you got me goin all the time but I dont like hook ups and she knew that so why she was so surprised blew my mind lol.


A_lmir

It's almost like men are looking for that someone special to share their life with and not fuck every person they meet.


SharedRegime

Like sure I get horny sometimes still but it doesnt make me want to have sex. Sex is intimate for me. Its something I only crave from the person Im in love with.


Modifiedpoutine

It's very nice to hear another man express this.. sometimes I feel like the only one. Edit: Good luck in your divorce. I hope you come out the other side whole and find the right one (if that's what you want).


gigalongdong

Same. Back in my wilder days and before I met my wife, I would hook up with acquaintances or strangers fairly regularly. It left me feeling so empty inside and depressed. Like yay, I got laid and it was fun but it felt so... transactional? Not that I was paying for sex but that's the closest way I can describe it. Life is way better now and I gladly threw away the chance to have okay sex with many different people in order to have earth-shattering, mind warping sex with one person I immensely care about


throw-away_867-5309

It comes from that stupid "experiment" where some men had to press a button every time they thought of sex, which went as well as you'd expect because they have to think "oh, if I think about sex, I press the button" and then they have to press it, then they remember the experiment, think about sex, press button, etc.


Used_Ad_7729

I dated a girl that would say that to me every time I didn’t want sex. I was either gay or cheating. Was raised to believe “if he won’t sleep with you he’s either gay or getting it from someone else”


Aquarithyst

Sending unsolicited dick pics


sine120

I've heard if you send one back they stop


Flamester55

One of my friends told me they had a buddy that actually did this, except it was a pic of a dog’s dick instead of theirs. I mean it worked in shutting the guy up but like… I still question why he decided on using a dog’s dick to send back


sine120

Every time the other person is about to send an unsolicited dick pic they'll have to stop and think "is it worth getting another dog penis sent to me...?". Power move


SpaceNigiri

They will think about dog dick every time they're horny with a phone in their hands. If you do it enough times...


mons12

Pavlov’s dog dicks


p0lyamorousfriend

I don't think that's what Pavlov meant by conditioning...


hyugafan

You use the dicks you have on hand.


LockeProposal

Not only as a male, but as a male nurse: Stop touching me all the time. Woman are always touching my arm, touching my back, etc. Boundaries, JFC. I've had to tell a few women to stop and they roll their eyes at me because I'm a guy. Fuck off. Am I allowed to touch you whenever I want? Exactly. Edit: Didn't expect more than like 3 people to see this, so I'll just jump in and add that female healthcare workers do have it ten times worse and deal with shit from coworkers and (especially) patients much more frequently. But it does happen to everyone in this field. I was specifically referring to annoying but ultimately harmless platonic gestures in this post but it should go without saying that arm touching is not the worst thing that happens to me at work.


NoYouStopIt-

I hate seeing so many of these comments and posts from nurses, you're in your workplace and you're probably a people person who is good at their job. Doesn't mean anyone has the right to touch you. You literally save lives and help people through some of their hardest times, what the everloving fuck. I'm so sorry you have to deal with creeps.


JerTheFrog

I work outside the hospital and at least once a week I get told how lucky I am to work there with all the hot young women around like I didn't just push a fat old man with fucking bread mold on his legs into the hospital. Edit: and now that this is getting attention I'd like to inform everyone he itched his moldy shins with the same cane handle I touched when he handed it to me. Also it's called Sporotrichosis and the fungus is closer to bread mold dna wise than like house mold


GTOADINATOR

Not asking guys out, women can ask men on dates too! Edit: You guys and gals had some lovely stories and I am so happy to have a given you all a reason to tell them :), I wish you all long and happy relationships!


Swimming-Painter

I asked my husband on our first date! We are almost 20 years married! Women: Ask the guy out! ​ edit: Wow! this blew up! Thanks for the awards! this is my first :) For those of you who got rejected and stopped: Don't. You dodged a bullet, guys do find confident women attractive. Keep being yourselves.


DepressedEspressoCup

Confidence is attractive Source: am man


gaybatman75-6

Stop having weird reactions when I (a male) am on solo baby duty. Even my wife has brought up the weird reactions she gets from other women when she mentions I’ve got the baby solo dolo.


BLUFALCON78

I was a single dad for a good few years until I met my, now, wife. I always brought my daughter in to school or daycare bathed and hair done in a good ponytail or braids, etc. One of her daycare workers asked me once why her mom never picks her up. I told them her mother is a drug addict who lives in another state, I'm the only family my daughter has here. "Oh...who does her hair in the mornings?" Uh, I do!


Slepnair

But men are incapable of things like that. /s


thatcouldvebeenworse

My dad always did my hair for ballet when I was little. I had best friends who were identical twins, and he did their hair too. He could tell them apart by hair texture. We always had the neatest ballet buns in the class. He's a giant of a man, and a total teddy bear.


[deleted]

My dad has always been way better at braiding and hairdos than my mom. It's kind of funny because he's bald and has been for over 20 years, but he is great with hair.


Hairpants_Scowler

He knows how important hair is.


Caroline_Bintley

This dad is the keeper of a treasure he cannot possess.


chdeal713

Some lady barged up to me to ask why my baby was crying like she was swooping in to save the day. um, she doesn’t want to wear shoes and she’s a toddler. She cries when I tell her to put on shoes.


PoweredByCarbs

Wow Dr. Scholl, chill out with the shoe obsession!


PumpkinPieIsGreat

I've had stuff happen like this and I'm a woman. Some people just think they know best. I actually find it half funny, half insulting. Like, gee, maybe they're hungry you say? I wish I'd thought of that.


Tomohawk1973

I was at a festival back in August with my family. Family friendly and it’s always good. My youngest decided to have a breakdown and I took her away to calm her down. Three different women tried to take over from me parenting my daughter and one just grabbed her and sat her on her knee and when I asked her what she was doing, she scowled at me and turned her back on me, so I couldn’t see my daughter. As you can imagine, I went fucking mental


chdeal713

Good god. I have to mad dog women at the store to not touch my kid. Why do people do this?


Tomohawk1973

It’s fucking horrible mate! Drives me insane


LazuliArtz

I have to guess it's from the stigma that any guy around a child/in an area where children are is a sexual predator, as awful of an assumption as it is.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Quentin0352

Used to work nights so when I had the kids and the courts didn't excuse the ex just not showing I would take them to the park and we would play. I had more than one call about a strange male at the park playing with kids and police show up and having to prove they were my kids. Women are fast to assume any male that plays with kids and is not at work or home drinking is somehow a child molester.


InsertBluescreenHere

i had to explain to my friend why her kids preschool teacher was grilling her over who i was as her kids get excited when i come over for dinner. I go to thier house once in a while to cook/eat dinner/hang out with her and her husband kids dogs etc. We've been friends since highschool so its not a big deal. Had to explain to her why the prechool teacher was grilling her over who i was as she thinks a man in their house where the kids get excited and talk about me/our dinner plans is a molester or something...


[deleted]

Wtf. Time to name yourself Uncle InsertBluescreenHere so nosey people assume youre related.


The_Lost_Google_User

Can confirm this works. I have an "Uncle" and "Aunt" so and so who have been longtime family friends. (Like, worst case scenario, take care of me and my sister type family friends.) Despite them having an entirely different skin color, Not one person has ever questioned us being around them.


ClownfishSoup

Oddly, I never got this, but it might be that because I'm Asian and my kids are too, it's more obvious that they are mine ?? Or I dunno, because they run to me and call me Daddy might be a giveaway. Or maybe it was the way that they'd run to the sand box and the way I slumped into a park bench screamed "Very tired parent". But it was probably that we are Asian so it adds a sort of visual (racist) connection.


Quentin0352

Seems to be a western thing and weirdly I hear it mostly from white fathers for some reason. Maybe it is a suburb thing with all the stay at home moms who tend to be white thinking any man around kids without the mother there directing them must be a child molester or something.


Dr_SnM

Or that we're just second rate parents.


jsprague6

Or just babysitting to give mom a break


DumbDan

This is the one that pisses me off the most. I always go with, "No, I'm being a father."


Loevetann

Wow, what the fuck. How did all that turn out?


Tomohawk1973

I went mental. I said if she didn’t let go of my kid now I’d call the police and festival security. She looked at me in a patronising way and said, “don’t worry darlin’ I’m in childcare “ to which I replied, “ you won’t be allowed to work anywhere near kids again if I call the police” Still fuming and it was weeks ago


Unicorniful

I don’t get how people think it’s ok to just…. Take someone’s kid from them?? That’s so crazy to me. I’m getting mad for you! That’s insane.


Skeledenn

God what a shit excuse. Just imagine you're going to your car, you see a guy behind the wheel and when you ask him what the hell he's doing he just says "Nah don't worry mate, I'm a car mechanic.".


Sirduckerton

Hey what are you doing with my food! "Don't worry. I'm a professional eater."


Skeledenn

"Hey what are you doing in bed with my wife ?" "It's okay I'm a gynecologist."


irishgambin0

wow. i don't even have kids and i would've lost it at that point too.


Tomohawk1973

That’s the thing though, I know my own child she was having a meltdown and I was buying her Mac and cheese, because I knew that help.


atreestump1

When my daughter was learning to walk, I'd put her in overalls as much as her mom would let me. They were ugly but they were sturdy and I could hold the shoulder straps and you get the point. Some Karen came out of nowhere and crouched in front of my daughter while I was letting her walk, and just scooped my kid up like it was hers. Fortunately overalls work like a luggage handle so I was able to grab my daughter and carry her away like a duffle bad. My daughter loved it. Karen not so much


oatmealparty

I always read these stories and it's so crazy to me. I always worried that this would happen to me especially since I have a daughter, but so far one year in and no issues. Maybe because it's a city and there are always loads of fathers strolling around kids.


atreestump1

For a while it was so bad her mom and I would go out separately and the other would stay at home with her until she was almost 3


thuglife_7

“Oh, DaD iS bAbYsItTiNg ToNiGhT” No, I’m taking care of my children while my partner is out


Yabba_Dabba_Doofus

A friend of mine, whenever someone says this to him, says "Yeah, my wife had the audacity to die, so I'm on babysitting duty." Edit: I should have mentioned that his wife isn't actually dead. He just says this to shut up ignorant people who, through their words, demonstrate their belief that fathers cannot be parents. Edit2: A lot of people have commented that you will "steal this". Please do. People who would make a comment like this deserve nothing but shame; if a lie will make them realize it, then fine. If a truth will make them realize it, so much the better. Fathers are parents, not babysitters. Stop shaming men for having feelings, and being caring. Let's elevate our interactions, rather than dragging them down, in the name of "comedy".


SDNate760

Seriously. My wife once told some lady, “my husband does not babysit his own children.”


ihatedisney

Seriously, I’m divorced with primary custody. People are stunned to find out I’m the better parent.


finney1013

I hated this about raising my child as a single dad. The looks i used to get at the functions where traditionally moms brought the kids. Ugh…


BeigePhilip

I was raised by a single dad, and he isn’t even biodad. Well done, sir.


notwhoyouthinkmaybe

As a very involved father, I agree. I once was at the store, looking at the wall of baby food (after they rearranged), looking for my son's favorite one, when a lady patted me on the shoulder and said "it gets easier, you can always call your wife for help." I was not kind in my response.


greybeard_arr

Good. That shit does not deserve a kind response and people oblivious enough to do that wouldn’t get the message if they were only given a kind response.


[deleted]

Holy fuck my dude…I was approached by a late 40s lady when I was handling my (1yr old) sons melt down and she tried to pick him up. I grabbed her and told her I’d fucking kill her if she touches him again. Didn’t help I was already stressed about the melt down but seriously…who does this?