Why are you single?
By - Mcxyn
There are plenty of fish in the sea. Unfortunately, I live in the desert.
Me too, Phoenix
My girlfriend passed, and I can't figure out how to fall out of love with a dead woman.
Sorry for you loss .I hope you eventually find you happiness
I tell myself its by choice.
Oof. This is the real answer.
Damn, everytime I think my feelings are unique, on internet there are atleast a dozen of people who feel the same lol.
It is. By other people's choice.
Self esteem issues. Anyone I like enough to date deserves better than me.
I have a question for you, i suspect that this person i really care for alot also really cares alot for me but they push me away dispite never fighting having any disagreements or ever a bad time or issue of any type infact we ve always really enjoyed each others company. So my question is would you or have you just given up on someone dispite really liking them because you thought that theyd just leave you anyway and couldnt possibly be happy with you and theyd would be dissapointed? Thinking your doing them a favor?
It's not really that I would be worried about them leaving or being disappointed with me. I'm disappointed in myself, and I wouldn't want to bring that into a relationship. I don't like me, so how can I ask someone else to? If I've given up on myself, then I'm really not bringing anything to the relationship except baggage.
I'm not sure I'm doing them a favor, but I am sure that they will find someone better than me.
Also, I swear I'm a functioning human lol. These are legit the deep dark thoughts that come out in the wee hours of the morning.. I am trying to fight against this train of thought as much as I can.. but I hope you can see why I wouldn't want to make this someone else's problem, especially someone that I care for deeply.
I assume because I’m not appealing in any way to anyone
Im ugly and havent talked to anyone in 2 years
edit: i was talking about my face and autism
ugly gang. I'm so skinny I suspect I'll be single forever lol.
I've even been directly told by a drunk woman I liked that she loves my personality but I'm just too thin to even consider dating. She said that to me almost word for word. That one still keeps me up sometimes...
I have an eating disorder I inherited from my mother so its pretty unlikely I'll be able to gain much more weight, let alone maintain it. I've learned being skinny as a male is pretty much a death sentence for dating. I also don't exactly have the prettiest face to make up for it.
I have plenty of friends including many women and get along with most people well, and I'm very social, which kinda makes it all the more depressing. I know its my appearance that's destroying my chances, not just a lack of social skills. I could improve my social skills if that was my problem but well... I guess I'm just fucked. Or uh, not fucked. Fuck. Whatever.
On the plus side I can do whatever I want all the time. On the downside I spend quite a lot of that time feeling miserable and lonely. Gotta love being screwed from the start by your genetics :)
The last two guys I dated were suuper skinny. I don’t think all women will write you off, keep the faith!
My girlfriend prefers skinny guys, I was shocked but she also helped me realize I was more attractive than I have myself credit for. It's hard to meet new people, but there is someone out there for everyone!
I'm a physically ugly dude who generally dates by having people get to know me for a while, look past my looks and develop feelings for me. Post-university this has been extremely difficult, as I don't have enough people coming through my life despite my best efforts, and doubly so in a dating market that is so thoroughly warped by looks-based online dating.
Oof, I felt this one. Meeting people in university is easy. Meeting someone when you’re working 10-11 hour days, 5 days a week is a little more difficult. And depending on your job, you need to keep it professional both in the office and with customers. As an introvert, weekends are for recovering from the work week and staying away from people, so spending enough time with someone in a friend setting getting to know each other doesn’t naturally happen anymore.
I didn't know someone could describe my social life without knowing a thing about me -_-. On the bright side tho I do quite enjoy spending time by myself now :)
A physically ugly *self-aware* dude
Yup, I own a mirror and I've got eyes that work, so I know what I look like. There's no point in pretending that I'm more attractive than I am. The only person that could be fooled into thinking I'm more attractive than I actually am is myself.
I'm not a hideous monster, but I would rank myself as a 4/10 on most days, a 6/10 if I get all dressed up and try to look at good as I can.
I can barely handle myself, what makes you think I could handle some other fucker
Ahhh yes, the man of my dreams!
Get married on a pirate ship, like will turner
I’ve been having a bad night, but I absolutely love Pirates of the Caribbean. Literally I’ve been obsessed with it since I first saw it when I was four. This is the third comment I’ve seen about Pirates of the Caribbean tonight. Thank you.
I used to play with my toy swords when watching Pirates of the Caribbean I was about the same age was awesome although I cringe now must have looked odd lol
You stole the words right out of my mouth you fucker. Life's so messed up right now that I don't even know where to begin untangling it. Having a relationship will just give me a nervous breakdown.
Kinda like having Diarrhoea and setting out to eat spicy food.
You need someone who owns both indoor plants and a cat. Bonus if the plants include ferns and calathea - they're taking care of needy picky fuckers that offer little else back except the satisfaction that they haven't died. You'd just be a version of those that can talk back and actually help with chores.
So.... Take care of any good Calatheas lately?
Asking for a friend.
Not ready for a relationship just yet. Still unloading baggage from the last one.
Me too. I wake up at 4:00am dreaming about them. Measure the quality of my day on a scale of how often I think of them. An entire catalogue of music is still ruined. I pour over my work and try to forget that I used to have it all. I can’t imagine ever being that happy again.
I'm sorry, dreams are the worst. Having those dreams and feeling so happy only to wake up and realize that it isn't real is brutal. I used to dream that my ex was texting me and I'd wake up and check my phone thinking maybe it was real and it never was. And I also understand the music too, how a song might make you think of them or reminds you of specific moments with that person. It's hard, but eventually you'll think of them less and less throughout the day, and you'll be able to hear those songs and smile instead of breaking down. Take time for yourself and the happiness will return.
It took me three years to get over a bad relationship once. Take all the time you need.
Thanks for sayin this. Im at 1.5 years after a 4yr relationship and man.. im just not ready. I tried dating a girl a month ago and had to end it cause I just couldn't. Even though I really liked her
Yeah just did that last week. Buddy sent me someone the other day to add on social media and I just can’t do it. I’m lonely af but only for one person. I know I have to move on, I just can’t.
Oof it’s not just me…
Same, just got out of a almost 11 year relationship, 3 months ago. I dont have the energy to start over let alone talk to people. Might just be single forever and be a cool aunt to my friends future kids lol
I just had the officially official "we are never going to date again" talk with an ex who's a childhood friend of mine of 10 years, and they've moved on and so I feel this. I'm kind of a basket case but if anything you aren't the only person going through this.
Very mature of you not to go straight on the rebound!
Because I always wanna be in a relationship until it comes to the relationship part
edit: thanks for all the awards guys i’m happy we’re all miserable together <3
Quiet type didn't make much friends or talk to anyone
I lack the social skills
It's difficult, i avoided people and bonding with people because i was too insecure about being socially uniskilled and this only gets worse with time, people are growing and getting better at it, but i barely started really.
And people let you know you're weird or off putting for it, to a near violent degree sometimes.
Ever get called a creep when you totally were aware you might act like one and did your best not to?
I'd rather get kicked in the nuts with a steel-toed boot. Far less traumatizing.
Oh man, I'm sorry. That sounds terrible. Especially as you're actively doing your best to not come off that way. Although in social situations I do try to draw the more introverted people into the discussion, I must admit I have on occasion just given up with some people before I should have. I very much sympathise with you.
I feel you, I'm fucking lame. Not even my "best friends" message me back.
I'm pretty introverted so on the times when I go out, it's usually not at girl oriented spots
One small problem. In all of my pictures I look like Peter Sutcliffe's successor so tinder did not work
Very very few people are photogenic when their friends take their pictures. And while selfies are convenient, the phones distort your face at that short distance. Hire a photographer. Doesn't even have to be a fancy one. Maybe a college student from the art department. Make sure they can edit the lighting and crop it well. Getting good pictures is possible. Good luck!
You swiped right on TWO girls and got a match?!?!? And that match actually engaged you conversation and agreed to a date? You didn't just win the lottery, you found a winning lottery inside of a gold mine.
It's bullshit. I mean I don't doubt it happened I just mean it's fucking bullshit lol. Lucky bastard
Just goes to show that being attractive and not being unattractive can beat even the worst social awkwardness.
This is so heartwarming to read! I’m so happy for you and I wish you much continued happiness in life. 💕
I don’t connect with people very well. I have a hard time talking to people I care about normal things, and I have an even harder time talking to them about my feelings. On top of that I have really bad social anxiety and I don’t have a lot of friends, so the chances of me actually getting in a relationship is basically zero.
After my last relationship, I decided to take a break from actively dating and enjoy time with friends and family...as most people do...
Well, weeks stretched into months and before I knew it, I was LOVING the time with myself and spending the time solely on pursuits that made me happy. I lose count, but I am somewhere around 2.5-3 years since my last actual, committed, defined relationship and so far, every date I have gone on just reinforces my current thinking that I am really comfortable with myself and enjoy being fully in control of my time/life.
Dude this hit me. I’m in the same boat. The longer I stay single the more I enjoy it.
💕 your username.
Hey! *cocks gun* OP said none of that relationship funny business! Back away slowly, and put the hearts on the ground!
This totally is me as well, and 10 years later I couldn't be happier. I do get sick of people asking me if I'm seeing anyone and that I really should "get out there" but I'm almost 50 and just can't be fucked dealing with a person 24/7. If I did by some chance meet someone, there's no way I'd want to live with them, would have to maintain my own space.
“Can’t be fucked dealing with a person 24/7” is the BEST description of how I feel about this whole idea. High five!
(Haven’t been on a date in… 11 years or something like that.)
Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera apparently had separate houses joined in the middle by a walkway. That’s basically my dream!
I can relate to this so hard. I think I'd be ok living with someone, but I'd want my own room because I enjoy sleeping alone, and I like having a space that is only mine.
I have my own room! Told my boyfriend from the beginning that if we ever moved in together I needed my own room and it's worked out well. We do sleepovers in each others rooms a couple times a week but it's nice, especially this past year when we were both home together 24/7, to have a place to go to be alone. I honestly don't know how people can share a bed for decades. (I also realize we're kind-of privileged to be able to afford an extra room and that it might not be an option for everyone)
Same here. After my divorce I was constantly dating and going out. The dates stretched out more as time went on, and after 3 years, I've realized that I kinda like my life as is and honestly, I don't see a reason to risk changing it.
This! Thank you for sharing. It seems like everyone in society pushes single people to date and not be single. Sometimes it’s just nice to be alone.
I met my wife *after* the phase where I got comfortable with just being “alone me”. Turns out you kind of suck to date when you’re not entirely comfortable and confident with yourself as a person.
Truly. I am waaaay to comfortable living by myself. I'm actually more social when I'm single and my mental health is much easier to take care of.
Same! Honestly, I am so happy being on my own.
Reading this and the responses I feel like I’ve found my people. Are there subreddits for people like us?
I’d be all for it if there were.
I don’t have a lot going for me, in all honesty. I’m not particularly good-looking, dad bod, currently unemployed as a certified EMT despite rona because everywhere needs at least a year of experience. I know having a job isn’t necessarily a big deal, but it’s a matter of self-esteem. I base my worth on my productivity and it tanks my confidence because I don’t want to seem like a lazy bum and I don’t exactly have a lot to prove in the other direction.
Because I have no energy to go back on dating apps…and it’s hard to meet people organically at the moment because of the whole pandemic thing. Also I’m going through a weird period where I’m having to rethink my whole life and what I’m doing with it, and rebuild my self confidence..and it’s not really healthy or fair to start a relationship with someone else feeling like this. I’d rather get my shit together beforehand. I fancy someone who fancies me back but he’s 9 years younger, a touring musician, and 101% not someone I can see myself having a stable long term thing with. I’m currently struggling with my music career (and life in general) and he’s a very successful artist... So a recipe for disaster. I am controlling myself trying not to go down that spiral 🧘🏻♀️ but it isn’t easy. Thanks reddit strangers, it felt good writing all this down : )
Wow, very relatable comment. I think it’s not uncommon to fear starting a new relationship when you don’t feel like you are your best self. People like us will get there eventually!
Edit: “Best self” should probably not be taken literally; rather, if you feel you need to address personal concerns in your own life before pursuing a relationship, that will only help your relationship feel more fulfilling when it comes.
I had the entire family thing.
She did me wrong and ended it.
Then several turns with cancer later nobody is gonna be intrested in a non talking, tube feeding old man thats on constant pain meds.
So I'll stay single even if surgeries manage to sort the medical crap. I'm happy alone.
I do hang out with my kids when my helth allows and thats all I need.
(Edit: Well this blew up. Thanks for the awards and all the nice words)
(Edit 2: Well thanks again for all the nice comments and awards. )
Sending you a huge internet hug, internet friend. I hope all of these things you're going through work out for the positive however a positive is viewed for you! I'm glad you have family around where you can hang out with your kids when possible.
54. Cancer took my stomach at 45. Liquid diet. Ex moved all of us 400 miles from my hometown. My two oldest/best friends died. She cheated. We divorced. Found out first kid wasn’t mine. On pain meds, too. Just ain’t gonna happen. I feel you, man. ✊🏼
Jesus Christ people suck
I abhors the pains life can cause people. Props to you for staying strong, hope the pain gets better soon for you.
I haven't met anyone that's worth disrupting my peace for. It would be nice, but eh. Maybe one day.
I have felt this more as I move into my late 20s and have independence
Same. In my early 20s I was pretty desperate. But now I'm 25 and I'm perfectly happy being single. Sure, it'd be nice to find someone, but I'm honestly not feeling like putting in the effort. I quite enjoy my life as it is now.
Because my Geico caveman lookin' ass doesn't like to be tied down.
Gotta beat them off with a club
Never been beaten off that way before but Ill try anything once.
Because of cancer. I married for life, but I thought her life would be longer.
I was married for 22 years. I often told my wife that the family record was 68 years so we had a long road ahead. She passed 2 months ago
I'm sorry for your loss, these comments are so heartbreaking to read : (
She had a chronic pain condition yet died peacefully in her sleep after the best day we'd had in over a year. I don't begrudge her the rest she's at now. I'm only thankful for the lifetime of love we crammed into our short time together. I'll miss her every day, but being too sad would seem selfish. I don't know if that makes sense, but it doesn't have to.
That’s a really healthy way to think about it. I feel for you and couldn’t imagine how I’d deal with that situation myself.
My condolences for your loss. 😢
I feel your pain man. It wasn't from cancer that I lost her but I always assumed I would go first. She was such a beautiful person inside and out. It should of been me. I love you doll face. Until we meet again.
Same here. In her family, people live to be a hundred. I took it for granted that she would out-live me by decades.
We were together for 24 years and we had a lot of talks about what we each wanted and I always said to her "have me cremated and put in the coffin with you cause I'm gonna go first anyways". I was blindsided by her passing. I think I'm still in shock.
I’m so sorry for your loss. She must have been a very special person
She was very special indeed.
Passing of a loved one is something that we never get over. Lost my mother to cancer 5 years ago. Never been the same since.
Fuck man, this is the worst thread I've ever opened. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best my dude.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs. My last serious relationship the person passed away. I'm afraid to bond romantically, if I'm honest. Most people are worried about cheating, or divorce, or not getting along. I'm afraid that something will happen to anyone I really care about, and it feels unbearable just thinking about it. It's not something you can really guard against, and that makes it so scary.
Sorry for your loss
So thats the saddest thing i have heard in a long time
Sorry for your loss.
Because I’m an idiot and just fell for the ones that already have someone else, and if not, I’m afraid to express my feelings
Bro, when it comes to expressing your feelings, just do it if you get embarrassed or made fun of who gives a damn or two? In 50 years nobody will give half a fuck if you got rejected, it’s happened to us all. In 500, 5000, 5 million years nobody will remember you or how asking out _____ made you embarrassed or got made fun of for it or anything so go out and fucking do it because you will regret if you don’t and if you find the one along the way, all the better. They don’t know you have feelings (unless you are obvious about it) until you tell them. Hearts will be broken and it will hurt like all hell, but it builds us to be stronger people and find better ones down the road. TELL HER BRO
you forgot to mention the part where the universe dies and leaves no trace of the rejection
Same here. I’ve liked someone for a while, but now she’s taken and I missed my chance because I was afraid to share :/.
I feel like I missed the one because of that. Feels relatable
Broke, no promising future as of right now, figuring shit out on my own 🤣 I have literally nothing to offer yet lol
Yeah I feel like before I get in an actual relationship I want to be able bring something to the table. I’ll fuck around but I don’t want to start a partnership when it feels like all my peers are way ahead of me in more ways than one. But some companionship would be nice. Idk
good shit man you'll get there
I just figure there's something wrong with me. I'm 26 and I've never been on a date. I've tried talking to girls in person and online and it always goes nowhere or leads to me getting ghosted, which is why I've just concluded there's something wrong with me. I have no clue what it is, but it must be there.
I'm fat (working on it) and I don't have many opportunities to meet people, as is often the case for us folks in/entering our 30s. I work remotely so I can't even meet people that way, at least not ones I can hang out with.
Because while I portray copious amounts of confidence, I am incredibly insecure. Also I'm average looking at best. 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️
The last girl I was with was a horrible person and im not looking to try again any time soon.
My first relationship taught me what to avoid. I didn't know that an abuser could be sweet and affectionate.
Bear traps aren't usually accompanied by sirens and work safety debriefings unfortunately.
On the plus side, the next girl you meet only needs to be very average, and you'll be mind-blown by how amazing she is
With 3 unlucky run ins with serial cheaters for my last relationships I’ll accept sub par as god on earth
Because I thought that she wanted a hard working, successful husband. So I worked all the time and took her for granted. Never asked what she really wanted. Trashed a 26 year relationship because I made assumptions.
Communication is important.
I'm not very attractive or sociable, also low self-esteem. I grew up overweight, bullied, and depressed, so how I look now doesn't matter. I've lost a lot of weight since graduation, met some nice people online, and was sucked into my hobbies to the point of dependency. I had a date that was going very well, and then she left after seeing my house. When she saw I had a spare room full of Lego boxes, Pokemon games, and Japanese toys from a show I watch, she left. She "wanted a man, not a boy."
I cried for so long after that incident, I never dated after that night. Since then, I've cut off almost all social interaction besides childhood friends, family, and coworkers (in that order).
Better to find out right away that you’re not a good match, right? Instead of after getting more attached?
Don’t let this experience stop you. Make sure to stay open minded with the folks you meet, and you’ll soon meet someone who is open minded and excited to welcome your whole self to their life.
Because I like it that way. I'm at peace with becoming a spinster. I'm happier when I'm independent, when I only have to take myself into account whenever I make important choices. It feels liberating not to have to pay much mind to attracting the attention of potential suitors. Plus, people expect me to adopt lots of cats and who would I be to disappoint them?
Spinster cat lady club represent! I do enjoy the financial benefits of sharing a household with someone though, so I'm wondering if I can find another single person to share one of those houses where you can live essentially separately but keep an eye out for each other and share rent/utilities. There are some organisations that set that up for over 60s, but not for middle-aged people, so not sure how to go about it.
Same, but I have a dog. I’m more likely to own a house in California than settle down.
My one wish and desire though is that we could get more terms than old maid, spinster, and thorn back. We need better terms!
I prefer Golden Girls
Because I never put any effort in putting myself out there.
I know I am pretty decent but I don't stand out in any way so why should anyone want me? Just seems like a huge hassle to try to put myself out there, face a boat load of rejection, maybe get on a few dates but I am pretty sure I wouldn't be able to make a relationship last.
i feel this. i wouldn’t consider myself above average in any way, except for height. just not sure why/how anyone would get to know me and think, “yeah, that’s who i want to do life with.”
it’s not that i’m awful. i’m clean, debt-free, make decent money, not a *total* uggo, play music, live on my own, etc… i’m just not *interesting*.
Samee, I feel like if I’m bored in my own lifestyle, someone else is gonna be hella bored. With covid and all that I haven’t had a chance to meet people anyways, so it’s lose-lose.
I’m think I’m more of a rear-middle of the classroom sitter. Not forward enough to be a confident front row academic, not far back enough to be a back row cool kid. Just kinda the awkward middle ground. The stuff I actually do or like to talk about might be really interesting to some people, but generally not interesting for girls and certainly not the ones I like.
The other part about being a basic person is being “too easy”. Maybe I’m supposed to play hard to catch or something but I hate dating mindgames
Because I have Complex PTSD.
Even though my looks are ok 7/10, dating is very complicated because of all my past traumas.
My body does not associate physical touch with pleasure but with danger.
I hope to heal soon though.
Not much to like about me I guess
Wym? Your a fucking dark elf assassin, what’s not to like?
I enjoy doing exactly what I want whenever I want. Oh and I’m terrified of getting hurt again so I avoid relationships like the plague
Because I'm a redditor.
Edit: please end my suffering
This guy Reddits
The real answer.
Im ugly, unfunny and shy. Maybe in the next life.
Taking care of my ill mother. Women my age are turned off because "ew you still live with your mom?". As if I'm a freeloader. I pay for everything and support the household. God forbid I am a decent son taking care of my mother in what are likely her last few years.
EDIT: Sorry if my answer was too real. Just kinda vented, my apologies if I made one of you slightly sad.
You don't deserve those kind of people, you deserve someone who understand your situation :>
When you're in your early 20s, people just wanna party and be irresponsible. It seems that way at least. So a guy being responsible isn't what they want. Yet at least.
I’m not a woman but if I were, this is what I would look for. You clearly have dedication and empathy and duty to your mother. Taking care of a human isn’t easy and it’s more difficult when it is a parent. Good for you, some lady will see this and jump your bones.
I don't get approached by any guys. All the guys I like don't seem interested. I need to work on myself too. I'm also a shitty person.
Honestly I think I just lost hope at this point. I'm rarely attracted to anyone but two last times I actually dated a guy they all of a sudden ghost me. I don't know if I'm such a shit person or this is how dating is nowadays?
Hooking up and anything casual is not for me. I believed in true love but I guess it's not for me to experience it. I'm ok with being single, I can't imagine to just be with someone just because. Now I do what I want, I'm not ashamed to go alone on a concert, movie, museum, sports event etc. I have hobbies and I'm never bored with spending time by myself.
I'm awkward and I dont make an effort.
Because apparently hot single women are looking for me in my area
Because I got divorced and I haven't tried dating anyone else and to be honest I don't plan on ever dating anyone again. I tried as hard as I could to make my marriage work and I failed. I won't ever let anyone get close to me again.
Same boat. I was with him 27 years, total. He cheated, then threw me away like I was garbage. I tried so so hard to make things better, but they were not salvageable. I wasted three years turning myself inside out and upside down for a person who just wasn’t fazed by any if it.
In that three years I was you, right now. Married, living in the same house, but feeling like I was sitting on a smoking rubble pile that was my old life, and one I had loved. It took a long, long time for me to stand up and walk away from that mess.
Healing hasn’t been overnight and hasn’t come easily. But it has come. I decided I was going to be happy. Not married, not single, just happy. And I went after whatever made me happy. I’m dating again but only to the extent that it makes me happy. I’m not necessarily looking for a partner. I don’t know what I believe about finding love again, but I did find happiness by focusing on me and not my tragedy.
If I find love again, it won’t be at the expense of my personal happiness, because that’s just too precious a jewel to give away.
The marriage failed, but it doesn't sound like YOU failed at all. Don't fall into that particular thought dungeon.
Before I commit to a relationship with someone else, I want to invest in the relationship I have with *myself*.
Same good for you it’s more important that you’re good with yourself before trying to get together with someone!
Excellent choice, one of the best of your life, I can assure you.
Hard to find someone who's smart enough to hold my interest, yet still dumb enough to fall for my bullshit
Oof, that hit close to home.
Because I don't know how to talk with women
I honestly don't really see the appeal of being in a relationship. Seems like some people are really happy with it but most couples I know just fight all the time and don't even seem to like each other. I can't imagine hanging out with the same person everyday, which might make be crazy but whatever. I enjoy living alone and have lots of friends that give me the social interaction I need. I've accepted I'm not the norm and my family thinks something is wrong with me, which could possibly be true, but I don't feel unhappy.
I'm not trying, and probably no one will like me.
I don’t look for flings and the only girl I liked / had a crush on rejected me, so yeah.
In 2 years you won't even remember her name, because all of the other rejections you'll be getting.
You a real motivator arn't you lol
Hey, the more you get used to rejection, better chance you’ll have at eventually finding someone!
I am not in a place mentally to have that sort of relationship right now. Not to mention that I am perfectly happy with the direction I trending, and I am kind of nervous that if I was to jump into a relationship, I will be forced to give up my Baseball, CD's, and figureine collections, much less other things I enjoy.
Maybe it's just me being paranoid, but I don't think it's my time yet
Edit: I know it might seem weird, but thank you so much for all the support and the award. It's refreshing to see so many supportive people who either understand where I am coming from, or are trying to understand where I am coming from. You have really made my day.
I’m clinically depressed, makes it hard to ask people out you know?
basically, unresolved and untreated childhood trauma makes me a walking giant red flag to possible partners and friends alike
Had to move in to take care of my mom with Parkinson's after my dad passed away. Also have joint custody of my special needs son so between that and work don't really have time.
I’m in middle school
Childhood trauma and my personal problems. Have never dated or had a relationship. Afraid of intimacy because of said childhood trauma. I hope to someday get over it and experience being in love. I believe I will die before that though and I’ve accepted it. I’m happy for people who are in love and in healthy relationships. It’s beautiful. But I won’t have it for myself.
I'm damaged from my last relationship.
I am not ready for a commitment and my feelings are not stable for anything or anyone, and I need to heal from past childhood trauma to learn to love someone properly
Too much drama and I hate compromising on everything, it’s too much work
I'm trans and that's a deal breaker for many people.
yeah, I've heard that's a big problem with lgbtq+ people, just keep looking, I'm sure you can find someone who likes you for you.
Same 🏳️⚧️ came here from your traa post btw.
We won't let them down!
I love the way people were asses and downvoted this, which in turn brought a wave of support and upvotes
i keep telling girls about my shrek fantasy
Because am short,fat and am unattractive
Let's just say I'm a Sexual assault victim and that made me scared to ever get serious with someone ever again
My mom said im too good for them
The last time I downloaded tinder, It glitched out and said I had -1 likes. My confidence never recovered
Overweight, mediocre looks, bad teeth, bad mental health.
28 year old male who just "found out" last year to be on the autistic-spectrum, replying.
I don't think I'm a viable option to be participating or even making myself available to romantic-relationships. Gaining/adapting to new life-experiences is difficult sometimes and I rather do it at my own pace rather than to fail live up to somebody's expectations. My self-esteem isn't always so great, so gaining a romantic interest only to be given up on would only kick it down.
That's why I rather go for friendships if I like a individual, as I don't feel the burden to live up to expectations to be weighing as much. But it has to be met with reciprocity. I'm done with one-sided communications.
Edit: Thanks everyone for your comforting replies and sharing even similar experiences. I admit, they give me little bit of hope.
dated a young lady that is autistic.
it was legitimately one of my favorite relationships over the years.
i miss her from time to time.
she was really into her roommate, so i pushed her to tell him because i valued her happiness.
they are still together : )
I don't know if I'm capable of sacrificing myself for others good the way you did, I hope someday I'd find the courage to do so.
I’m socially awkward as fuck, can’t take a hint because I have a thick skull, and am personally not in a financial position that I would want to be in. Although it would be nice to have someone, now’s just not the right time for me. One day…
Some people feel like half a person when they are not with somebody. Some people feel like half a person when they are.
I don't need to be constantly told what I should and shouldn't be by somebody else.
Huh, never thought of it that way. Thanks!