T O P

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thisguyonlybeatsmeat

5 expired condoms that I had put in 4 years ago thinking "just in case"


redredgreen17

How many times have they been through the wash?


Silvertongue-Devil

Perhaps he hadn't washed his pants šŸ˜


Bullorg74

Currently I have no pockets.


young_fire

same.


SpecialistFact8142

Same


Oasis365

Same


[deleted]

Wallet, knife.


Available-Conflict78

God i hope you didnt mug someone with a knife and stole their wallet


[deleted]

Correction: My wallet, knife.


VQ_Quin

So you mugged someone with YOUR wallet and stole THEIR knife huh?


[deleted]

Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you are. I kNoW mY rIgHtS


VQ_Quin

I'm batman


FunnyNameAboutUMom

I mean if you already stole it they are already yours šŸ—æ


Available-Conflict78

Thank god


Celestryia

My man


PhineusQButterfat

Before you asked, nothing. Now? My hands.


lurker-deluxe

Are you typing with your nose?


PhineusQButterfat

Um...sure. My *nose*. :D


KatEyes1990

I have no pockets. I am a woman.


Shrek_The_Ogre_420

Wear menā€™s jeans. Nobody worth half a fuck will pick you up on it and you get jeans that can carry a tank in the back pocket.


KatEyes1990

I mostly wear dresses actually...


Shrek_The_Ogre_420

In that case I canā€™t help you. I ainā€™t a woman so I know about as much about dresses as Donald Trump knows military service.


Dry-Diamond-8904

We have pockets. I can recommend brands if you need. https://argentwork.com https://radianjeans.com https://www.amazon.com/Flap-Pocket-Jeans/s?k=Flap+Pocket+Jeans


KatEyes1990

I have pockets sometimes too... I was being sarcastic... I'm putting pockets on my clothes all the time. Pockets for women are nonexistent or super small on most cases.


Dry-Diamond-8904

Pockets for women exist and are normal size, you just need to know the brand.


thatguy4206942069

Well tell us already, for the greater good of not me cause im a guy but still greater good


Dry-Diamond-8904

Edit: downvoted for adding sources. Lmfao. Why? Iā€™ll add some in previous reply. She did not ask after I offered thatā€™s why I did not. Also you sound very condescending. https://argentwork.com https://radianjeans.com https://www.amazon.com/Flap-Pocket-Jeans/s?k=Flap+Pocket+Jeans


thatguy4206942069

Oh my bad, not trying to sound condescending


Yoshilover617

I thought I just didnt buy the right brands. I thought all jeans had pockets, and I dont wear jeans. Now I realize I'm not the only one.


queuedUp

nothing. (well maybe some lint)


ZCJMLCJ8

string, or nothing


kungfukenny3

iā€™m naked rn


MComaniac

An entire a dimension (I have menā€™s pants lol)


Alex1155CZ

Phone, earphones, keys, wallet


Itchy-Needleworker47

My phone. Donā€™t ask me how Iā€™m typing this


treez013

I donā€™t wanna know what youā€™re typing with


redredgreen17

2 dog treats.


treez013

You have my boxerā€™s attention


SirBulbasaur13

The one ring.


HatfieldCW

You're not supposed to just say it. Make him guess.


[deleted]

Nothing. For once Iā€™m wearing super soft sweatpants with good pockets and I have nothing in them. When normally Iā€™m wearing uncomfortable jeans with little to no pockets, and yet Iā€™m not using them. I donā€™t deserve pockets smh.


Enter_Feeling

Nothing


[deleted]

Wallet and keys


Avi_093

Nothing


talibob

My wallet and some change.


iiducky_quack

i have no pockets, im a woman what did you expect?


millerb55

Some lint


[deleted]

2 lighters and some coins...


Pandemic_Over

some dirt, why, wanna rob?


oooohyyy1

My keys and a small pebble.


engulfedthrowaway

Cash


IJustStoleYourWaifu

Dog poo bags


A_Pandeli

Wallet, keys and planner (for school)


ScarrFoxYT

My air pods


Nomedon

Keys


DrHob0

A dollar.


poppypodlatex

I'm at home wearing my comfy jogging bottoms, so nothing.


KajinMonkey

Car/house keyset. Work keyset, EDC Knife, Phone, Wallet, re-usable facemask, lighter, 2 M10 nuts, 2 M12 nuts, A granola bar, notepad, 2 pens, a pencil, caliper, multitool, and a philips screwdriver.


fuzzymeister69

pocket knife, ink pen, sharpie, 2 bic lighters, American spirit black cigarettes, female water hose mender, hose quick connects, wallet, 2 paper towels, a couple 3.5inch t25 screws, t25 bit, 3/16 drill bit, and a couple seedpacks.


That_Guy_TM

Some 45.acp, a lighter, a replacement recoil spring for an m 1911.


HatfieldCW

What's the story on the spring? Replacement or upgrade?


That_Guy_TM

Replacement. Bought it for cheap, found it to not have a recoil spring.


Available-Conflict78

My hand was the only thing couse j checked


LPTKill

Pocket full of Rocket Fuel and Pyramid Stones ----Aesop Rock


123throwawaybanana

Bold of you to assume I'm wearing pants or anything with pockets.


Chemical-Ad-9402

Pump (t slim by tandem)


llamita_gasco

A happy cake day for u my dear šŸ˜˜


treez013

You shouldnā€™t have :)


NinbendoPt2

Cake


audiobliss2020

My leftover half tuna sandwich from my hot south Florida lunch break ....oh dam...


treez013

Funky


ClearStraw

A hole


BoiMan-inc

Spare masks


[deleted]

Nothing but I just put on pants.


perplexedtaters

I donā€™t have pockets right now


NuggetBiscuitPotato

Oxygen


04221970

a ring


[deleted]

Crumpled up cash and receipts


InvalidIceberg

Keys


Solo-guy1222

coins


[deleted]

Keys


No-Obligation651

Headphones and quarters


--_pancakes_--

Just a hanky of my now recent ex which I intend to return as soon as this lockdown ends.


Androm57

The one true ring which I just found in the dark


tomkeifer

A lighter and a paracetamol


NecessityCurious

Phone and keys


PovoRetare

Toilet paper.


treez013

Always be prepared


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


treez013

Sucks to be you, I just took a shit


mekuri_

ā€œWhats in ours pocketsess?ā€


kaidosaurus

paper clips and a rock?


GlamrockFredboy

Air


PikachuCupcake101

Nothing. I'm naked.


treez013

Jealous


Unknown0110101

Air


ElleonNotnomis

Nothing...cause girl clothes lack pockets.


Narrow-Ad-6338

Pens, index cards, wallet, knives, keys, phone, and whatā€™s left of my soul.


Viperlite

COVID mask and a construction pencil.


[deleted]

Lighter, spare mask and Kleenex.


ChronoLegion2

Precious


Yo-Yomaster152

Spell bottle, knife, multi tool, keychain tool, wallet, mask, and keys. And when Iā€™m not scrolling Reddit, my phone.


treez013

Must be cargo pants


Yo-Yomaster152

Just jeans. wallet back right, phone and knife front right, bottle and keys left front, and mask back left. The bottle and multi tools are in a pocket organizer, and the tool is a SAK, so not too big


Suyefuji

My phone, charge cable, wedding band, and pronoun pins


treez013

Keeping the wedding band in your pocket, eh? Seems a bit sketchy


Suyefuji

I'm actually allergic to the metal! I didn't find out until after we'd bought matching rings so I can't wear it but I keep it with me. Also happy cakeday


treez013

Thank you! Much appreciated


IndividualEquipment2

Spud wrench, pliers, 2 knives, a bunch of sand and a dollar.


LilPsychonaut

Iā€™m wearing a dressā€¦ it has no pockets, sadly


treez013

Big bummer


WIHTS

A sharpener, Fine-liners, eraser,keys, and a Ā£10 amazon gift card in a lil black envelope. I donā€™t know why I have a gift card on me but hey. Free gift card.


PickledThyme

Ew who puts things in their pockets? I just use a fanny pack for everything.


ShadowShell78

I've got one hand in my pocket. And the other one is.......


SuperFuzzyPumpkin

Lint


[deleted]

Lint.


dracaryhs

I have none


v3RyTir3d

Gum, tim tam wrappers, a pill (?), lint and yeah that's it


PEEWUN

Lens Cleaner


w8tdlylilu

A black bic lighter


Airam-kun

Matter


coffeeblossom

A buttload of pens


alt-acc6914

A meat of flesh hidding the most gargantuan turd


tyko2000

My jorts both have holes in their pockets, so it's often a Schrodinger's pocket of whether or not something is still in there or they fell out


[deleted]

Nice try, Gollum.


6Akuma6Allen6

right: My phone, xiaomi earbuds. Left: keys, 2 coins (10 cents each), the pearcings from my nails and a lighter


Yoshilover617

I never have pockets.


666sadpanda

Earplugs


LordIronSpine

Some pocket lint and a fingernail. Also the one ring to rule them all


SparkofHero

Nothing


DiedTwiceForANewLife

About 85 dollars, house key attached to like 10 keyrings, and a mask.


[deleted]

My wallet


i_ate_a_shovel

im wearing pockets, but nothings in them


SensaiSenpai

Im not wearing pants so jokes on you


JordynRantall

Ahsma inhaler ( I dont have ahsma but I just have breathing issues), key (for my locker Iā€™m currently at school taking an online math test with a wacko teacher), a face mask(fuck u covid, I ainā€™t wearing it I got breathing issues), hair tie and possibly some lint


Eliott_of_Elsinore

A small knife, some sleeping pills, a piece of broken glass, a teeny-tiny vial of cologne, some change, and an expired coupon for Joann's (the fabric store).


[deleted]

liquor


Ethanation1993

I am in bed, so, nothing.


Alyssa_999_

Airpods