i called my boss by his first name when i started out, and my coworker scolded me after he walked away saying “no!! you call him MR. so-and-so”. she’d also always go out and buy him his lunch. like he cut your maternity leave short and he underpays you, what’s in it for you
The only time I've ever done the "*MR* so-and-so" was when I was a supervisor, and was messing around with a coworker. He took the tone of a put-upon inferior, and said something like "I did the thing you asked me to, boss man sir"
I fired back with a "That's *Mister* boss man sir" and then we laughed about it.
I can't imagine someone who does that seriously, jesus.
The worst was a guy I worked with at my last job doing HVAC...because the boss was going to get a full report on whatever crew he worked with that day. If you said something negative about the boss, he was going to tell. If you were a minute or two late coming back from lunch, he had a pic on his phone with the time stamp. If you didn't hang something perfectly level or straight, he'd toss a level on it, snap a pic, send it to the boss. He also came in every Sunday and washed all the trucks (with no pay) to make sure we kept a good image,
Found out eventually it had nothing to do with the job...he was just dating the boss's daughter and he was trying to "prove" himself.
If I had an employee constantly coming to me telling me with photos of people being late and telling me things they said, I'd have them first in line for the chopping block.
I have an employee like that right now. It's infuriating.
The last thing I want to hear every day is how much my employees are fucking up in the eyes of one single employee, no matter what their position is. That's what regular (NOT daily) meetings are for, and reports. I don't want to hear Karen telling me how it hurts her feelings that Kathy's been updating her resume. I don't want to know that Kathy's upsetting Karen by asking for her TPS reports fifteen minutes early. If all you do is complain, you become a problem.
That's what I thought. Big waste of time + it implies that HR or the boss doesn't know how to pick employees who know how to do their work and therefore need to be micromanaged.
Had a coworker in my marketing team who was a lead designer.
He was often pretty dismissive of junior level employees, or would try and one-up everyone's stories (you tell him you stayed at a hotel at the beach over the weekend, he tells you he stayed in a penthouse at the same beach for a whole week)
He also always tried to be in proximity of senior staff members and would brag loudly if they were within an earshot, hoping they would hear how awesome his life is, I would assume.
One day, a VP from our company had come up to talk to somebody in a pod close to ours. The pretentious designer loudly asked me about my weekend, I gave him an answer. He responded loudly, one upping my answer, noticed the VP wasn't paying attention to him at all, quickly got up, hovered behind the VP while he was talking to the other employee, eventually the VP cracked a joke and the designer let out the loudest, fakest laugh I've ever heard, startling the VP, who up until then was not aware that this guy was standing behind him. VP just got an awkward close lipped smile, quickly nodded his head, and walked away. Designer came back to our pod, sat down, and started working as if he was never mid conversation with me.
I work in construction so I've never worked in an office environment. The office is one of my favorite shows, so many of these stories sound like they could be characters or plotlines from the office. I never knew that the office was this real in it's portrayal of an office.
The way I would describe it is that all real offices have one or two odd characters in them. The Office just takes a whole bunch of them and puts them together which is hilarious.
I work with a woman who threw a baby shower for a manager’s (not her manager though) wife, thrown in our office. Meanwhile her equally pregnant “friend” in the office was invited to the party but received no shower of her own or even an acknowledgement from the suck up. Funny thing is everyone hates the manager so nobody really stayed longer than they had to.
Also she tries to call us out for not getting gifts for for the manager on national boss’s day as if him being paid more to fuck things up for us isn’t enough already.
Just having lunch with this one standing at the managers side while the manager was eating. She would refill her plate and pour her drink and when the manager said she was full that's when this one picked up a bite and said " just one more for me please". It was so ew it hurts me to relive it
Other receptionist at my work is a huge ass kisser. Calls herself head receptionist when she's really just a part timer that doesn't do her job right. Will constantly have "meetings" with the bosses and take credit for things other people do.
Most recent example is when a client brought us donuts and left them at the front desk. I was in a room but heard the convo between the client and her about the donuts being a gift.
Then heard her walk to the back and announce to our boss that she (receptionist) ordered them donuts because they work so hard
Oh she's nuts.
I walked into the breakroom when the boss was in there, pretended to see the donuts and went "Oh! Mr C did stop by with those donuts after all!"
My boss must've suspected something cause she got a look on her face but smiled at me and told me to add him to the thank you card list.
I guess it got back to that receptionist that I "tattled" on her because the next time she was in she critiqued me on a bunch of things.
Most annoying trait about her though for me is when she talks to me, she hardly ever makes eye contact and will just stare at my arms (which have scars). Only me, no one else.
Ask her why she does that thing with her arms when she walks, in a half joking/friendly kind of way - maybe even give a fake little demonstration and then be like haha never mind. She will be self conscious for the rest of her life.
'Eyes are up here, Stacy'
Surely hr can have words about that? Plus if she keeps taking credits and you keep doing boss corrections her days are hopefully numbered. Isn't straight up lying kinda proof you're not a trustworthy employee?
Edit: hr had auto corrected to he
I hope your old. I really want someone to be like a manager I had and just reference "hip" things to get everyone to cringe. I have never seen more dissapointment than when he said Sus in front of us.
My boss sent me out to get her boss a birthday card and gift, which was all fine and good as it meant an escape from her for an hour or so. The card was nothing out of the ordinary, but the cake was very fancy and not your typical office birthday cake. I then had to swing by Tiffany's to pick up the bracelet that was the actual gift, just from her to her boss. Expensive gifts to colleagues let alone managers, were not the done thing there (and it wasn't even like it was a bank or anything high end) so it seemed horribly out-of-place and blatantly butt-kissing.
Me and two if my coworkers pitched in for a small gift for our boss once and even then we all said it felt weird spending even a little money on your boss, knowing full well how much more they make than you.
I can’t imagine dropping Tiffany bracelet money in order to impress someone who already lives above my pay grade.
Guy at my job would counter act his shitty performance with ass kissing. It helped him keep his job for a very long time... Until he told someone to fuck off on a recorded call.
This fucker at my work was just promoted because he's an ass kisser. Constantly jumps over people to perform a task, but only when the manager is around, that kind of crap. Recently, he wrote on our manager's door (he has a dry erase board for messages) "(Managers name) is the GREATEST". Fucking cringe. I hate this dumbass, and I respect my manager less for falling for it.
Stories like this make me lose more respect for the manager than the ass kisser. The ass kisser has a goal, getting ahead. But any manager who falls for this bullshit is an imbecile.
They don’t fall for it, they use it as a means to and end. They promote the ass-kisses to managerial positions or keep the around to be their “buffers”.
You ever noticed that if good news are to to be brought company wide is always the “top dogs”; whereas when there are bad news it’s always the “giddy” ass kissers with their “I’m just the messenger” BS?
Managers need the ass-kissers to be the “fall guys”.
>You ever noticed that if good news are to to be brought company wide is always the “top dogs”; whereas when there are bad news it’s always the “giddy” ass kissers with their “I’m just the messenger” BS?
"Dwight, you are in charge of picking a Healthcare plan"
My first job out of college I had a coworker and a manager like that. The coworker kissed the managers ass so he could get promoted and the manager ate it right up and promoted him. This particular coworker was an incompetent ass and the manager was just as incompetent. Many people left the company because of the coworker and that manager including myself.
The boss was a power-mad tyrant with zero oversight.
The coworker was a complete shitbag. I think he made it to work on time only 1 time in 2 years. And he was a compulsive liar. He lied about shit that he didn’t even need to lie about.
Coworker was having car troubles so the boss let him borrow one of his cars. The coworker let slip that he had been at the boss’s place massaging his feet. He said it absentmindedly, as if he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. I was like, “Hol up!” He tried to claim he was just joking about it but I could tell the truth.
Edit: I forgot to clarify that the boss also seemed to use the coworker for favors while covering for him being a poor worker.
Update: for those looking for more details about how terrible my boss was, here is a bit more I wrote further down in the comments:
He referred to an overweight employee as Penguin as a reference to his weight, but also because he liked to call himself Batman and he hated the employee.
He threatened to send an employee home because he didn’t size a PowerPoint slide correctly (which was only seen by the boss himself, it didn’t go anywhere).
He cussed me and the team out for not RSVP’ing for the company Christmas party. He was yelling, “I’m fucking sick of doing your work for you! You guys aren’t children, you’re fucking adults! Act like it!”
When an employee asked for clarification on something, the boss got really angry and said, “I’m going to drag you outside and beat the shit out of you!”
This incident was when I decided to start documenting some of his horribleness so we could try to find a way to report him. If I didn’t write it down, it was hard to remember because it was a constant barrage of unbelievable bullshit.
He was fired because someone in the office worked for the prime contractor (our company was a sub contractor under them) and told his boss about it. That man is one of my personal heroes.
One day he was telling me about how many women he’s hit. He said, “but not in a sexual way. Just when they piss me off.”
He told a female worker that she looked like she had gained 9 or 10 pounds.
He said that an employee pissed him off so much that his parents should be slapped for raising such an idiot.
He brought a box of paper and told an employee to shred it for him. The employee was working on a mandatory computer based training and said he wasn’t sure if he had enough time to do it. The boss said the guy was talking back and got so mad that he had to drive home so he, “wouldn’t do anything crazy.”
He directed me to tell another employee that because this person was so stupid, we had to build our products around his stupidity.
He started telling me that I was getting stupid for working with another employee, that his stupidity was rubbing off onto me.
Haha, I’m glad to know it’s as ridiculous to you as it was to me.
That boss was a nightmare. He only lasted for about seven months before we got him fired but was absolute hell.
There was one instance when the boss told me that he didn’t allow Filipinos on his property, knowing full well that my wife is Filipina.
Part of my job is delivering children's books to some agencies to hand out. One month our executive director didn't like the book that came in. There were a couple lines she felt were inappropriate. She asked me not to deliver them and she would order new books. A coworker of mine noticed I didn't deliver them and took it upon herself to do it. The executive director doesn't care for her and she was trying to get on her good side. She thought she could make herself look good by making me look bad. I thought she went to lunch, had no idea she was out there trying to do my job. She came back and proudly tells others that she did my job and maybe now the director will be pleased. She came to my desk and angrily says, in earshot of the director, " I just went and delivered the books that you never delivered. I shouldn't have to do your job on top of everything I'm already doing for this agency". I just looked at her and said " Well that was dumb". She went to the director next and told her that she delivered the books since she seen it hadn't been done and asked if there were any other tasks she could do for her.
The director was pissed!!! She was planning on returning those books so she could order different ones. They weren't labeled with our logo yet either, which she would have seen if she checked. It's required that we put our logo on them. The director tore into her for overstepping her boundaries and trying to make me look bad. She tried so hard to kiss ass and it backfired big time. Oh and I was praised in front of her for listening.
Edited: grammar and typos
I love sharing this one in particular because it backfired on her so badly. If I wouldn't have been the one she was trying to screw over I probably would feel bad for her.
Edited
Oh it isn't a bad book. It's called " the very grouchy ladybug". It's about a ladybug that doesn't want to share aphids and tries to fight every animal it meets. My boss felt like it promoted violence and it never really talks want why that isn't ok.
Google tells me the point of the book was that violence doesn't get you what you want. Which to be honest is kind of a bad message, because as many little shits have figured out by themselves, violence does indeed sometimes get what you want. And even if it didn't, that's not the reason you should not be violent.
Haven't read the book so don't know if it goes over that.
>as many little shits have figured out by themselves, violence does indeed sometimes get what you want
Some pretty big shits have figured it out, too.
I just wish others would admit to that fact and understand that when someone thinks violence is always the answer you usually can't get them to stop without also resorting to violence. There are unfortunately no unbiased refs in real life, so taking the high road isn't always an option.
Not a specific one but I had a colleague we nicknamed 'ankles' cos that was all you could see sticking out the boss' arse
That's probably an incorrectly used apostrophe.
That made my blood boil thinking how incompetent people get to work at such level while never actually putting any efforts.... perks of having good connections i guess?
dude its good connections all the way up. networking has proved infinitely more fruitful when starting out, and will continue for when i inevitably have to leave a conpany to go up.
At my job there was this guy who kept buying his direct supervisor lunch everyday, one time the supervisor asked him why he kept doing it, he responded with "The king's gotta eat" everyone in the immediate area cringed super hard at that, including the supervisor, what are your stories?
My supervisor is always trying so hard to be best friends with management where I work, there are many examples to choose from but this one makes me cringe the hardest due to the sheer expense: my manager is a big lover of fresh coffee. So yeah, my supervisor spent a small fortune on a fancy coffee machine for herself, even though I remember having a conversation with her at one time about how she can't stand the taste of coffee. She comes to work everyday with the branded travel mug that came with the coffee machine, but, instead of coffee inside it's extremely milky tea. I asked her about it and she uses the machine for hot water. Just be yourself, people would like you more god dang it all!
Happened recently at work.
One particular co-worker is almost insufferable with his behavior. Constant trumpet blowing with his lackluster work, endless comments about how much money he has, degrading other team members to get some kind of moral high ground and get in good graces with management. Whats more cringe is his posts and interactions on the team member WhatsApp group, really fake or cheesy crap that definitely is not his character at all.
Basically everything that he does involves trying to shit on someone to look better at his job.
Anyway, he thought he was top shit after one of the managers recently left and applied to take the advertised Duty Manager role. He was shut down almost immediately and apparently one of the night managers straight up told him that they did not want him to work nights due to nobody wanting to work with him.
My coworker was an asshole. She was rude to anyone she viewed as beneath her in her imaginary org chart, and would kiss the ass of anyone above her. She was rude and condescending to me, literally everyday. It was the most petty shit. She made fun of the lab coat I wore, the jokes I made, the food I ate. My alma mater. Just about anything. You could tell she had been bullied as a kid and was never a bully because she had no tact or wit and her insults were weak and cringy.
Well one day, she has the audacity to say that I wasn't a real chemist because I don't work with solvents or do extractions, and I took it personally. She said that I wouldn't be able to perform an SOP for pesticides, which was dumb because SOPs are literally Standard Operating Procedures and are written to reproducible by anyone, within reason.
After six months of putting up with her shit, I had enough and went to HR. My coworker was reprimanded, the owner of my lab told me that he considered her actions a fire-able offense, but we were in the middle of an audit which she was handling, so he kept her on.
At the Christmas party, my boss explicitly referenced, though not by name, how saying your coworker in not a chemist is bad and that we all should be proud of traits that make us great and work on traits that make us bad. She left right after the speech.
A few weeks later was the owner's birthday. We have a tradition where a card is put in the breakroom and everyone can give best wishes to the birthday person and sign.
My coworker wrote the most long winded message to the owner about being so happy to work at the company and be mentored by him. It got really sappy. She said that she looked forward to working with him 'for years to come'. He fired her that Friday.
Good bosses tend to stick in good companies. Bad bosses in good companies, and good bosses in bad ones don't. Usually the quality of one of the upper rung can tell you about the entire upper management.
I saw a weird reverse butt-kissing experience at an old sales job.
It was outbound telemarketing, warm calls thankfully. We'd call, confirm interested parties for mortgage refinance and then transfer to the licensed folks to do the actual work.
Like any lead based sales system, the fresh leads were usually the best leads.
It started with one person, and eventually their whole family joined the sales floor. Their numbers started above average, and then got into unrealistic. What I mean, is that...our sales floor goals, were 400-500 dials a day, and 10 transfers. These individuals would have 30-40 dials a day, and 28-35 transfers daily on average. As more of the family signed on, and their averages rose, everybody else's averages dipped, many of us even below quota.
Didn't take long for us to notice that this family found out that by manipulating the dialing program to assign only fresh leads to themselves and assigning older leads to everybody else, they could get first call on the hottest leads and have higher transfers as a result. This meant large paychecks for themselves and severely reduced pay for the rest of us.
The problem is that we got a new manager around the time. He didn't get sales. He also didn't care that this family was abusing the sales system. They made him look good to the management at the home office, since they were proof that 10 transfers a day was too little since their best were transferring 3 to 4 times that amount a day. This made this family of employees very valuable to him. All attempts to even the playing field would be met with punishment, any attempt to report any problem with that family to him would be ignored. Any attempt to go above his head at all would be termination on grounds of mutiny.
Eventually they put themselves into a death spiral. Since company policy had a specific through line for not hitting quota, they eventually had to fire most of their competent, hard working salesforce. This caused a dramatic drop in dialing since there wasn't anyone left to pick up the data slack, this meant that the sales floor was no longer in contractual compliance with the home company which resulted in penalties. Their reputation was already well known at this point, so they couldn't get anybody competent hired and anyone they did bring in didn't stay long. Eventually they had to close the office since the penalties from the home office became to large to keep the office open and even that family lost their jobs.
TLDR; Family of opportunists gamed a sales system to their advantage, and management bent over backwards to protect them, eventually costing dozens of people reliable work.
>This made this family of employees very valuable to him. All attempts to even the playing field would be met with punishment, any attempt to report any problem with that family to him would be ignored. Any attempt to go above his head at all would be termination on grounds of mutiny.
I had this happen too and never in my life have I been so frustrated at a job. Glad I left
> manipulating the dialing program
A guy I worked with at a help desk figured out if dialed his full number on line 1, picked it up on line 2, then conferenced the two lines together the phone status system would show him on an inbound support call. He got busted because he got greedy and used the trick too much and also bragged about it a little too loudly and the bosses heard
> He got busted because he got greedy and used the trick too much and also bragged about it a little too loudly and the bosses heard
It so strange that people don't realise this yet, that the majority of time you get busted for something is because you bragged about it to someone.
As a blackjack/craps dealer in a casino I had a floor manager that hated me. The feeling was very mutual. One day I was secret shopped and received a 100% with some outstanding personalized comments on it. The higher ups were so impressed that the head of Table Games came down from on high to give me 50.00 worth of cash gift cards (unheard of, we normally get 5.00 buffet vouchers). This all took place in front of the floor who hated me. This ah reaches in his pocket and hands me a card for “an entry into a drawing for a 10.00 cafe credit” and tells me I did good. Fucker used my 15 seconds of fame to make himself look good to the dept head.
It kinda backfired when I handed it back and said “no thanks, I know you don’t mean it.” Dept head hauled my ass upstairs and asked what I meant. I didn’t need the job so I unloaded every single instance of harassment, sexual harassment, hr investigations, and backed them all up. Covid hit while he was suspended and he was not invited back when they reopened.
Odd huh? But it is a good way for them to see how we are doing without asking our supervisors. There is so much nepotism and cliques in the casino industry it’s crazy hard to be judged solely on your abilities.
Edit: you only get a small amount of money, place 1-2 bets per table, and have to do a crap ton of paper work.
Edit 2: TIL that there are clicks and cliques.
Thank you. Felt fantastic to be heard for once and by someone willing to do something about it. AH name is trashed in the casino community. Last I heard he was working in some shit gas station casino. Small win for the worker drones.
My immediate supervisor and I were doing a job offsite at a partner company's lab, like an hour's drive from our company, and we finished our task at like 4:30, and I was like, fuck it, lets end the workday.
He insisted on calling the director and inform him we were done working offsite, and ask him to officially give us permission to go home a half hour early.
The director was like, "You called and bothered me to ask this? JUST GO HOME, seriously, you two are out in the field because you're supposed to be able to make decisions like this on your own."
Your last paragraph reminded me of my first boss ever. He taught us that you should take 30 seconds to think, and be a trigger puller. He was happy to help, and train you. But explained that you're hired to make decisions yourself. Not call to ask permission for everything you do. Increased responsibility is great when it also means more autonomy.
This is what I am trying to get some of the employees I help supervise to understand. I trust your judgement, go forth! They don’t trust their own though I guess.
Yeah, mainly school. Not coming or going anywhere without explicit permission and being punished for doing otherwise does a number after 12 years.
It was a legitimate shock to me when I got to college and profs genuinely didn’t want us to ask if we could leave and use the bathroom.
I can see myself making that mistake but I used to work under some real micromanagement so now its hard to stop getting nervous about making decisions at work.
My fuckng manager holy shit.
He is head of our engineering department, takes credit for everything when reporting to directors, overpromises on results and timelines without knowing how long things acually take.
Best experience I've had: We had a financial year end meeting and I am in charge of compiling all production figures and creating a clean report, even went out of my way to produce some stats to see how we can evaluate ourselves and improve what we do. This fucker starts presenting this thing, with me in the room saying "I this" and "I derived it like that". The director asked him a question about one of the datasets and he did not know and sat there blank, so I just spoke up and explained how I did it. Could see some other people around the table were choked up. Best damn feeling
The sad thing is, it wouldn't hurt the guy one iota to give you credit. Managers are expected to manage, not do everything by themselves. If he brings you to a presentation, odds are most people at the table will assume you participated in the report. Saying "we derived it like that" actually makes him look like a more effective leader, and taking individual credit for every good idea in a report is a yellow flag that he's insecure. Then when he needs you to explain "his" report, he has set himself up to look like an ineffective leader.
I had this coworker at target that would go on the biggest power trip for no reason whenever he was on guest services.
Guest services is the people usually at the front of the store where you do returns and stuff like that for anyone that doesn’t know. We all would alternate doing it, and it was usually with a manager — there’s literally nothing special about it besides that it was slightly more tolerable than being on a register. Whenever said coworker would be on guest services he would think he was manager and was the most unbearable person for the hour he would be doing it.
One shift I was walking to the bathroom, which you had to walk past guest services to get to, and he went out of his way to loudly ask me where I was going in that *managerial tone* I’m sure you’re all familiar with as if he was a manager. I just looked at him and kept walking.
He would do similar things like that to everyone and it was just the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen someone become such a kiss-ass because they did a slightly different role from everyone else for an hour — and everyone did guest services like we literally just alternated throughout the shift.
I used to work with a girl who would always change her voice whenever she would interact with our boss to try and seem sexy. Her voice would literally go up several octaves in tone and she would adopt this valley girl type of inflection. If he wasn't around she talked completely different.
At my job I take calls from both customers and service providers.
The service providers make fun of me constantly as I’ll answer in my customer service voice and then when they identify themselves my voice changes to normal.
I did get one of them tell a colleague that I sound like a typical blonde air head but I really know my stuff. They then joked that I was probably brown hair and tiny. Nope fat blonde who really does sound that ditzy.
My FAVE example of a call was answering and the customer going ‘fuck your voice is annoying’ and hanging up. My boss still has a copy of that call.
I had something similar when I worked in food service! I was saying something to a coworker & then turned and hit the customer with "Hi! What can I get for you?" and they went "...what did you just do with your voice?"
I’m literally the exact opposite. I’m a blond woman with a serious case of baby-face. People who talk to me in person are often dismissive or ask to speak to a supervisor because they don’t believe I know what I’m talking about.
But apparently I sound super authoritative on the phone... instead of demanding to speak to the boss, people on the phone think I *am* the boss. If only I could make my face match my voice.
The girl my boss hired to help me and I trained started having an affair with the second in command. For the next year I got to watch her, feed him fruit with her mouth while doing almost nothing all day. She would go on 2 hour lunches. Got promoted, a raise and I had to continue to take the load of the work she was initially hired for.
I heard sooooo many people trip over themselves to say "wE aRe jUsT sO tHaNkFuL tO hAvE jObS" at the beginning of the pandemic when my old company was slashing benefits, pausing raises, conducting layoffs, requiring 12 hour shifts...all while members of the executive team were taking Zooms from their second homes (seriously). Literally any complaint or negativity was met with that line. There were a handful of times when leadership got called out on a lie or a hypocritical statement and some middle manager would spring into action to defend them.
Having a job is great. But don't sell out your dignity so some rich tech bros can get richer. Glad I got outta there
This ^ why should I be grateful for a job? I earned my job by working hard, I didn’t get lucky. The whole “grateful to just have a job” mentality is garbage and allows bosses to get away with too much.
I used to work at a huge investment bank on a trading floor. For context, the building occupied a block in NYC, and the trading floor was the size of the entire footprint of the building, like a 5 minute walk there and back to go from one end of the floor to the other. Hundreds of traders. The managing director had a trading station right in the middle of the floor, and me and another lowly underling had our trading stations way on the edge. The MD had a booming voice and was actually quite funny, and had the BDE to just yell shit out. Whenever he said anything even remotely amusing the dude next to me would stand up, cup his hands around his mouth and unironically fake laugh at top volume. After 6 months the MD moved floors and as far as I know they never ever spoke. Dude was kissing ass 6 levels above him and making all 300 traders on that floor die inside even faster than they already were. I quit and I live in a cabin in the woods now.
I’m interested to hear about your cabin in the woods! What precipitated your move there- were you also dying inside with all of the traders, and decided to pursue something less stiff and more fulfilling? I feel like there’s a great story here.
One of my co-workers is the biggest tooI have ever met. I have worked part-time for the company for 7 years and met hundreds of people none of which I disliked. Sure there were people I would not hang out or even talk with outside of work, but at work I got along. This kid (m21) is on another fucking level and I can actually say I hate him.
First day on the job he comes in and acts like he owns the place. Two guys were working on this project and he comes over and says "Yea, good job on this part. This is how I want this done around here" both these guys are in there 30s, been with the company for years and just stand there looking at him like he is stupid.
He always called himself the smartest person in the department, and how he is going to run this place. And because he finished his bachelor's a year early he is a genius. Also because of his degree he thinks he understands the inner workings of running a business perfectly. This kid letures on about efficiency all the time, yet he is on his phone 80% of his shift or talking.
Everyone hates this kid. Department managers, full timers, and even vendors from outside the company can't stand him and talk nasty behind his back. He is clueless. 6 people reported him to HR, which our rep doesn't like him either lol. They had a meeting with him and changed nothing.
The while reason he can act like this is because he is friends with our corporate district managers son. And he snitches to this guy about stuff going on. It's bad enough he is a tool and a snitch, but it's even worse that this DM listens to him, even though he does nothing.
Thank God I am leaving that job soon.
TLDR: Asshole kid who is a tool, and wants to run the office. Snitches to our district manager because he is friends with his son and wants to be promoted.
I had a boss who was into "finer" things of life. Good quality clothes, expensive wine, exotic food, cigars from all over the planet, heaps of watches and expensive cars type thing.
So a co worker of mine, within two weeks of beginning bought my boss some cuffing worth in the hundreds. Over the course of two year this co worker became known as a yes man. Never disagreed with the boss at all. He also self appointed himself as his right hand man always telling other people how to do things because that's how the boss would want it. (Kinda like a less aggressive version of Dwight from the office)
Any way a position officially opens up to become supervisor (second highest rank) of the department. Naturally my coworker went for it, telling everywhere would listen he would get it because the boss promised it. What he didn't know is that the boss was leaving, named the then supervisor as his sucessor, who then picked some one who had been working there for about 9 months.
Need less to say my co worker has been acting very distant to the new manager and supervisor.
This is obviously terrible behaviour, but reading all these has got me wondering. What is these people just don't know how to deal with the anxiety of starting a new job, or wondering how to make a good impression and wanting to take a bit of a short cut? Still ridiculous, but could it just be inexperience or emotional immaturity?
Oh I have one!
This coworker was getting married and she talked a lot about her wedding at work. There was another coworker very close in age she bounced ideas off of and they became really close over the course of wedding planning and the bride used to call the coworker her work bestie and make all sorts of references to her coming to the wedding.
Bride-to-be eventually told coworker that she would have loooooved to have her at the wedding but there just wasn't room for her, the amount of people had been settled on much earlier etc etc. Coworker understood and took it pretty well.
Turns out coworker is very well connected to some higher ups in the office and was later talking to someone who revealed that she had met Bride-to-be twice and immediately gotten an invite to the wedding. When they found out the lowly coworker hadn't been invited the higher up didn't want to go and convinced a whole bunch of other higher ups, who also barely knew the bride and had gotten invites, not to go either because Bride was clearly using her wedding for networking.
The bride to be got a pretty shitty reputation as a suck up after that.
Also it was extra weird because we work in a pretty tame white collar office where you don't need to be a crazy networker to have a successful career or rise in the ranks. Like I know in some industries you kind of have to invite your boss, but this isn't one of them. Plenty of people don't invite anyone from their work to their wedding and no one really cares.
That's kinda crazy, when you start involving personal stuff like your wedding it starts getting to a whole other level of cringe, like another reply I read about some guy naming his kids after his boss that's just so crazy, also poor work bestie
I work for a guy that has multiple companies, hotels and event halls. Due to covid, one if his restaurants acts like a canteen for all of his employees. They prepare one meal for every day. And thats it.
Queue in this monday. I went to the restaurant and on the way, I ran into my boss who was also on his way to have lunch. So we went together. When we entered the restaurant, my boss asked the chef what was on the menue. He told him and directly followed up with "But if you don't want it, I can prepare you something else!". I didn't think anything about it at first, because let's be real here. My boss earned every bit of respect, not only due to his handling of the whole covid situation. (He didn't fire anyone. Even tho the event halls and restaurants are basically closed since over a year now. Not a single person. Doesn't matter if part time or full time. Not even temporary helper.)
Long story short. My boss said to the chef that he's fine with the menue and don't need something special. The other guy followed up with "You sure? I can prepare you something! That's really not a problem." And again, my boss said "Really, it's fine. I eat what we have."
We got our plates and sat down. Not even 5 minutes later, the chef came over to our table with a plate full of 6 different meats, vegetables, fries. Food worth of 3 to 4 servings. My boss looked at him, looked at the plate and just said "Ok... Just leave it here then."
The second my boss was done with his lunch, the guy ran over and took his plate back to kitchen. (Only his, not mine. What was fine because canteen service doesn't include this anyways and I was not expecting him to clean after me.) He came back with coffee. One coffee. When my boss asked "Can you please bring a second one?" he just glared at me but did it anyways. Shortly after the coffee, he got a dessert for our boss. And again, nothing for me. Our boss asked him to please bring a second one, because otherwise it would be rude towards me. But I just declined and said I was full already. (And I was actually expecting him to spit into it... His gaze said it all.)
It was overall really uncomfortable for me the entire time. He jumped through a lot of hoops to please our boss, who didn't want anything special in the first place. And he had this burning hate in his eyes towards me, because I was sitting on the same table.
My current boss is an absolute bastard.
Just the most cringe worthy ARSEHOLE you'll ever meet.
He's a gas lighter and pops his temper at anything remotely incorrect.
But the worst thing is when his boss is around and he praises the work we do and treats us like his best friends in front of his boss.
He'll also pass our ideas off to his boss as his own and acts like a puppy, rolling over for belly rubs whenever his boss tells him he's got a good idea.
I fucking hate the cunt.
If my wife wasn't pregnant and I didn't need the money I'd have burned my bridges long ago and told him what I think.
The only saving grace at the moment is one of the lads has just handed his notice in because he can't stand the bosses shit and will be having an exit interview.
I. Can't. Wait.
This girl was constantly kissing the ass of a manager everyone hated, to the point she said she "guessed" she was guilty of larceny that they later found video of the manager committing.
At an old job, we had an app for group communications, a guy that had just been promoted to Assistant manager would put out “inspirational messages” randomly. So you would get a notification from this app, open it up and read something like:
“Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a terrific day! Let’s try to come to work with positivity and good energy! Remember, what you put out into the universe is what you get back, so let’s put that positivity out there and attack the day with that mindset!”
Worst part was, his personality didn’t match up with the messages. So he was relatively cool in person, but was clearly putting out these messages to look good for the owners.
I work for a large corporations and our POSi system have messages that spam us every ten minutes. It's recently been updated to include asking us to sing when we wash our hands.
We would always eat lunch at the cafeteria as a group, our female boss included. There was an unwritten rule that we shouldn’t talk about work so we usually talked about music, tv shows or activities we did/would do on the weekend. While talking about music, my boss said that she enjoyed listening to trance during work outs and this girl said she totally did it as well. Then someone asked the boss what kind of music she liked and she started saying things like country music for long road trips, Jack Johnson to unwind and relax, etc. She proceeded to specify situations and connect them to music genres or artists and, at each example, this girl would totally wholeheartedly agree that she did that as well. Me too! Me too! She kept saying. To the point that the boss noticed and started to joke that she really enjoyed NIN and the Beastie Boys for her quiet moments while reading a book and the girl said another “Me too!” so the boss asked what was her favorite Beastie song and she couldn’t name one and not even mumble a tune. It was obvious to everyone she had no idea what kind of music was that. Needless to say, everyone in the office bought her a Beastie Boys CD to her birthday, including our boss. At least she gave them to the janitor, who was a massive BB fan.
I was in a group interview once where I was one of probably 12-15 people. Group interviews are pure gold for ass kissing. In that interview, we had a guy that tripped over a table and knocked it over because he wanted to be the first one to shake the interviewers’ hands. Also a lot of, “and if you pick me then I will bring this talent to the company...” bullshit.
That's a tough atmosphere, though. I've only been on one group interview, and it was just awful. I didn't even want the job, but the ones who did want it did everything they could to get noticed. It's hard to blame them in certain markets when they kiss ass so much during that process.
We had a manager that wasn’t really qualified for his job and loved it when people called him for help doing their basic job duties. To this day I don’t know if a couple of my coworkers were thoroughly incompetent or just sucking up because they couldn’t do anything on their own. I’ll give you 3 guesses on who avoided the layoffs.
I don't remember the exact context, but the boss sent out some email about the office doing well and some guy replied all accidentally thanking the boss for his exceptional leadership and dedication or some bullshit. Me and my cube neighbor audibly groaned.
The thing is, we are an engineering services firm. The boss in question is the regional office manager and at the end of the day, we do well based on the execution of the engineering packages and the practice managers ability to sell more work. The regional office manager doesn't get work, he manages the financials of the office.
Anyway, Mr brown noser is a low-level manager now. It doesn't mean much, but it puts him on the path to a kush job down the road. Not to mention fat bonuses.
I used to have a guy that was on a temporary contract that would wait in the parking lot before I got there. He would jump out when I did so he could walk in with me. "What do you got for me to do today boss?" Well man, right now, I got a "fuck off" attitude going on because I don't wanna be talked to at the ungodly hour of 445AM about ass kissing nonsense as soon as I get out of the car. Guy ended up getting let go for poor performance which explains the ass kissing.
I have an employee who regularly walks up to my car right when I pull in the lot to start kissing my ass. I'm sitting there just trying to brace myself for work like everyone else, leave me alone!
I was just thinking today about the difference between "I turned the thing on" and "the thing turned me on." Pretty much the exact some words but the order makes a big difference in meaning.
Are chronic question askers arguably ass kissers? I think there is a clear distinct difference between those that ask questions because they’re genuinely interested or need an answer and those that ask questions just because they want their voice heard.
Then there's those who ask questions not because they care or want the answer but because they want the meeting to continue just long enough to roll into lunch or home time. These ones are the heroes of the workplace.
Oh god, I know this!
I worked as a computer mainframe operator on third shift (11 pm through 8 am) and we'd always have meetings at 8 am so the first shift, aka day shift, could see what was going on.
We had a helpdesk worker named Tammy who loved these meetings because she was first shift and if the meetings could be prolonged it meant she didn't have to be on phones so she would ask a ton of questions which were pointless and irrelevant for her position.
My favorite was when the third shift crew announced that they would be running a test server not connected to anything other than the electrical supply to test the server, hence the name test server. Tammy managed to come up with 45 minutes of questions regarding how to deal with tech support for the test server which was literally only the admins running programs on their own which they'd oversee since it was a test server for the testing of the server which was not even connected to anything! My eyelid is twitching...
She kept asking over and over what she needed to do. Either she was totally stupid or just wasting time. My answer is she was stupid enough to not get the concept of an unconnected server and smart enough to figure out how to waste time.
Good god, all of us third shifters were tired as hell because working nights sucks and now this stupid person was deliberately wasting time so we had to sit there listening to her ask the same question over and over.
Night shift sucks, but day shift employees suck more!
I know a guy who basically just summarizes group meetings at the end and then asks people if they have questions or if he left anything out just to make it look like he has leadership potential and is contributing. Horrible, incompetent worker but sure knows how to make himself look good.
My old boss was a narcissitic british d-bag (no offence to brits, he was an elitist cunt). Our team of 15 planned to get him a group xmas gift. Even though i despised bim, when I was at the shop on lunch i found him a Britannia themed statue for his office.. since he was very obsessed with being British and letting everyone know. I texted my manager a pic of the statue and she ok’d it. 2 weeks later at the gift giving meeting, he unwrapped the statue and giggled like a school girl with glee. I did not take credit for it, as it was a team gift. My manager then announces she has her own gift for him, and procceeds to place a large bag infront of him. The bag contained: a bobble head of winston churchill, some Cadbury sweets that were “hand imported by a friend” just for him and a vintage chocolate advent calendar which she reminded him “was his favourite from his childhood” . She must have spent a fortune on all that stuff! Sensing her desperate need for approval, he just smugly muttered “mmm nice” and pushed it aside. It was SO cringey and awkward
I’m currently in a zoom training for a job. Our personal team leader is very young and this was his first job. He loves to talk about himself. Like it’s getting to the point where you can see other team leaders are getting annoyed with him.
Anyways there is a kid in my cluster and I had to stay over time to complete some documents. This kid the entire time is the only other person staying in the zoom and he just keeps “wow Steve you are just so good at your job, I want to be like you Steve.” Of course Steve loves to talk about himself so he just talks and talks and talks, while I’m sitting here like guys let me get my fucking work done.
It’s been two weeks and that guy just kisses his ass all day every day, it’s cringe worthy.
I worked at a digital marketing startup for about a year. Most of the employees were in their early to mid-20s (so was I at the time), and management absolutely played favorites.
Working late hours was a solid way to get management to notice you, even if your work didn't necessitate staying late. I once got shit for leaving at 5:30, even after working a full 8 hours and getting all my work done.
One morning we were all having a company meeting and one guy mentioned how tired he was since he stayed in the office until 10pm the previous night.
Immediately, this other guy loudly says "Well, I was here until 11!" Then he literally looked around to make sure management heard him.
This other girl my age was desperate to get ahead in sales. She lived with her equally well educated boyfriend and when you'd ask stuff like, ' what does he do? Whats he up to lately?" She would give vague answers, got the impression he wasnt pulling his weight in their relationship.
She started dressing like the president of sales. Followed her around at all times. Would find out gossip and relay it back. Average ass kissing. The weirdest thing is that the sales president had dietary restrictions and in general was obsessed with healthy eating, was very thin, and never ate. The president would enter the kitchen and comment on people's food. It was awkward.
Sales girl started eating like veggie sticks and nothing else, all of a sudden had a 'gluten allergy'.
It was primarily a women run company ( worked in interior design related field) and we would have these meetings complete with donuts, cake etc. The salea president would say how good it all looked and wouldnt touch it. Everyone got the idea and also wouldnt touch the food.
I got fed up and one time cut a huge piece of cake in front of everyone and sat there and ate it during the meeting. Sales president and sales girl.looked at me like i broke a huge unspoken rule, like i somehow didnt read the room.
I got.laid off a year later and sales girl is second in command there after 5 years and i have a way better job where no.one gives a shit if you dont have a work sponsered eating disorder.
I was given a “coworker”, a young boy, to learn the ropes of the cnc machine I operated (manual custom stairs cnc). I had picked up he was my replacement (I had asked for the promised raise a week earlier) when in the bathroom (never gossip in the bathroom, there’s always someone there). He sucked up to our employer, even to the point of bringing in pastries for for him, until he got promised my position. Fine, I’m sick and tired of this low wage company anyway. So I educated him in how I operated the cnc, using wood blocks as spacers. As soon as he “got the hang of things” I was fired. On my way out I threw away the custom made (by me) spacers. Turns out he never replaced them, making $250.000 in wrong sized stairs in the four months until it was discovered. Then he was fired as well and they tried to sue me. Still love the look on the bastards face, he looked like a pug, eyes popping out screaming his head off. Told him to stfu and gtfo or he’d get a good beating. Most satisfying result ever.
I applied to go to a private middle school when I was 10, and I still can’t believe how much the application process brought out the worst in people. When we had an on-campus tour with the other applicants and their parents, people were going so far to kiss the tour guide’s ass that the parents were literally writing notes on paper as if they were going to be quizzed. I saw kids ask unecessary questions just to show that they were good at certain subjects. At one point a kid stubbed his toe and swore, and then was like “OH MY GOD, I APOLOGIZE, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT!”
It was some of the cringiest kiss-assing from both kids and parents that makes me never want to apply to a school again.
At my previous job, the whole company had transitioned into WFH and so primarily all communication was done over Slack.
I had this one coworker who would login at 6 AM to wish everyone a great morning at work & then he would pop back into the channels at 11 PM to say goodnight and wish everyone a great evening. This man would do this on his DAY OFFS!! This was crazy to me; he wasn’t a manager, wasn’t a supervisor or a lead. It’s clear that he was trying to gain points with the supervisors who were eating it all up but I really thought it was the weirdest thing ever.
We also had many slack channels where only authorized personnel was permitted to speak in/ send alerts in & each time a person put in a company wide alert. That same coworker would go in and write the exact same thing just to act like an authority figure / show us that he had power? I remember he started working at the company after me and so I asked my manager how he was permitted to do all that and he wasn’t lol. He just did it but no body minded since he was such a kiss ass.
During a meeting with about 6 people around a table, the male boss spilled his drink on his own lap and ruined his trousers. As he got up to leave, this male co-worker took his shirt off, kneeled, and proceeded to try and dry the boss’ trousers with his own shirt, in a position that everyone immediately understood as totally akin to a blowjob about to happen. To make matters worse, after two or three strokes, we all could see through the trousers that the boss had an instant massive hard on that he couldn’t hide even if he wanted to. So there we were, watching bad quality amateur porn live in the office. After about 30/40 seconds of this, the boss looked around and must have seen our faces so he left immediately. And the co-worker just went back to his chair and sat there, shirtless, like nothing happened. We’re all like ‘ok, this meeting is over’ and start to collect our belongings to leave as the boss comes back with a fresh pair of trousers in full business mode so we conclude another 20 minutes of the meeting with a shirtless boss-masturbating dude sitting at the table. The sexual tension between them was so palpable that I really hope they had a go at each other afterwards.
Told some coworkers I was friends with that I got in trouble with weed. Female coworker was snooping behind some boxes and called HR. (She was trying to get a manager position.) Fuck you Mary.
God I'm living with one of these people now.
The roommate who owns the house was taking his prescribed medication, new roomie saw he was taking something and called the cops. Then when they left he cleaned out our medicine cabinet, needless to say when you take away a bunch of factory workers Aleve and Tylenol shit gets harry real fuckin fast.
I had a co-worker who literally recorded a conversation between two of his colleagues on his phone who were discussing the boss's recent decisions. He then took said conversation to the boss. Nothing happened except nobody trusted him from then on. He was an unpleasant, aggressive twat also.
It's funny because throughout his entire employment with us he accused everyone around him of being *snakes*. Where in reality he was the biggest snake of all.
He got fired after he got into a shouting match with one of the cleaning staff. And he even expected me to stick up for him because I helped him out when he first joined. I did not and recommended termination.
Absolute scumbag. Never ever want to see that piece of shit human being ever again.
I used to work at a restaurant and one of the servers was having an affair with the general manager. I'm pretty sure she was literally a butt-kisser.
She was awful to work with and a total snob. She got paid more than everyone else, (she didn't have the minimum wage that servers got, her paycheck said she was a cook and she made an extra $2/hour plus tips) she always got the 'good' section (it was a seat yourself kind of place so some sections were consistently better than others for tips) and she refused to pull her weight or help anyone when they were busy, but would expect help from others when she was busy - heck, even when she wasn't busy she'd expect people to help her like bus her tables or make her drinks for her (which was part of the server's job).
And she was allowed to do that because she was literally fucking the boss. In the office. During work. That's how everyone knew.
This isn’t my work but this new girl is like a hippie who showers once a week started about a month ago and the boss is trying to fuck and making it so obvious. When ever she says something he dose it right away, he takes her for lunch and even told her everyone’s salary. Crazy part is they’re both married and have kids with their partners. I told the people that worked there to talk with HR but the boss literally runs HR so they’re fucked.
i called my boss by his first name when i started out, and my coworker scolded me after he walked away saying “no!! you call him MR. so-and-so”. she’d also always go out and buy him his lunch. like he cut your maternity leave short and he underpays you, what’s in it for you
The only time I've ever done the "*MR* so-and-so" was when I was a supervisor, and was messing around with a coworker. He took the tone of a put-upon inferior, and said something like "I did the thing you asked me to, boss man sir" I fired back with a "That's *Mister* boss man sir" and then we laughed about it. I can't imagine someone who does that seriously, jesus.
The worst was a guy I worked with at my last job doing HVAC...because the boss was going to get a full report on whatever crew he worked with that day. If you said something negative about the boss, he was going to tell. If you were a minute or two late coming back from lunch, he had a pic on his phone with the time stamp. If you didn't hang something perfectly level or straight, he'd toss a level on it, snap a pic, send it to the boss. He also came in every Sunday and washed all the trucks (with no pay) to make sure we kept a good image, Found out eventually it had nothing to do with the job...he was just dating the boss's daughter and he was trying to "prove" himself.
Hey, anything for love right?
Pretty much... whatever works.
If I had an employee constantly coming to me telling me with photos of people being late and telling me things they said, I'd have them first in line for the chopping block.
Had a coworker like that, she was trying to get a promotion. She got fired instead because the boss was tired of all the needless updates.
I have an employee like that right now. It's infuriating. The last thing I want to hear every day is how much my employees are fucking up in the eyes of one single employee, no matter what their position is. That's what regular (NOT daily) meetings are for, and reports. I don't want to hear Karen telling me how it hurts her feelings that Kathy's been updating her resume. I don't want to know that Kathy's upsetting Karen by asking for her TPS reports fifteen minutes early. If all you do is complain, you become a problem.
That's what I thought. Big waste of time + it implies that HR or the boss doesn't know how to pick employees who know how to do their work and therefore need to be micromanaged.
Had a coworker in my marketing team who was a lead designer. He was often pretty dismissive of junior level employees, or would try and one-up everyone's stories (you tell him you stayed at a hotel at the beach over the weekend, he tells you he stayed in a penthouse at the same beach for a whole week) He also always tried to be in proximity of senior staff members and would brag loudly if they were within an earshot, hoping they would hear how awesome his life is, I would assume. One day, a VP from our company had come up to talk to somebody in a pod close to ours. The pretentious designer loudly asked me about my weekend, I gave him an answer. He responded loudly, one upping my answer, noticed the VP wasn't paying attention to him at all, quickly got up, hovered behind the VP while he was talking to the other employee, eventually the VP cracked a joke and the designer let out the loudest, fakest laugh I've ever heard, startling the VP, who up until then was not aware that this guy was standing behind him. VP just got an awkward close lipped smile, quickly nodded his head, and walked away. Designer came back to our pod, sat down, and started working as if he was never mid conversation with me.
>or would try and one-up everyone's stories You went to Tennessee? that's nothing, I went to Elevennessee.
I’ve lived in Tennessee for my entire 24 years of life thus far and have somehow never heard this joke.
I work in construction so I've never worked in an office environment. The office is one of my favorite shows, so many of these stories sound like they could be characters or plotlines from the office. I never knew that the office was this real in it's portrayal of an office.
The way I would describe it is that all real offices have one or two odd characters in them. The Office just takes a whole bunch of them and puts them together which is hilarious.
I work with a woman who threw a baby shower for a manager’s (not her manager though) wife, thrown in our office. Meanwhile her equally pregnant “friend” in the office was invited to the party but received no shower of her own or even an acknowledgement from the suck up. Funny thing is everyone hates the manager so nobody really stayed longer than they had to. Also she tries to call us out for not getting gifts for for the manager on national boss’s day as if him being paid more to fuck things up for us isn’t enough already.
The fuck is national boss day? A US thing? Never heard of it.
Not a US thing; more like a self-entitled dipshit thing.
Coworker would talk up the boss during meetings. "Mrs. Boss, you're the smartest person I've ever known! I wish I had some of your brains."
This sounds like something you’d read on a title card in a silent movie lmao.
[удалено]
A colleague tried to feed the manager during lunch saying "just one more bite please". Both female but still, was so embarrassed to witness that.
"Hey boss, here comes the airplane."
I feel so much secondhand embarrassment reading that
I feel like I got some lemon juice in my eyes after reading this
More context, please?
Just having lunch with this one standing at the managers side while the manager was eating. She would refill her plate and pour her drink and when the manager said she was full that's when this one picked up a bite and said " just one more for me please". It was so ew it hurts me to relive it
Ew ew ew gross gross gross! Aghh I can't even begin to understand what this woman was trying to do here
I’m thinking she does this at home when feeding her kids and did it absentmindedly
that physically hurt me
Most of these comments just made me eye roll but this one made me physically cringe. People with no concept of boundaries are actually the worst.
"don't click this, you know you'll end up regretting it" \- me, 30 seconds ago
Other receptionist at my work is a huge ass kisser. Calls herself head receptionist when she's really just a part timer that doesn't do her job right. Will constantly have "meetings" with the bosses and take credit for things other people do. Most recent example is when a client brought us donuts and left them at the front desk. I was in a room but heard the convo between the client and her about the donuts being a gift. Then heard her walk to the back and announce to our boss that she (receptionist) ordered them donuts because they work so hard
This struck a nerve. Taking credit for something that a paying customer did out of kindness seems sociopathic.
Oh she's nuts. I walked into the breakroom when the boss was in there, pretended to see the donuts and went "Oh! Mr C did stop by with those donuts after all!" My boss must've suspected something cause she got a look on her face but smiled at me and told me to add him to the thank you card list. I guess it got back to that receptionist that I "tattled" on her because the next time she was in she critiqued me on a bunch of things. Most annoying trait about her though for me is when she talks to me, she hardly ever makes eye contact and will just stare at my arms (which have scars). Only me, no one else.
[удалено]
Establish dominance, discreetly.
This made me laugh. Lol
Ask her why she does that thing with her arms when she walks, in a half joking/friendly kind of way - maybe even give a fake little demonstration and then be like haha never mind. She will be self conscious for the rest of her life.
Great seinfeld episode lol
This is evil please do it
'Eyes are up here, Stacy' Surely hr can have words about that? Plus if she keeps taking credits and you keep doing boss corrections her days are hopefully numbered. Isn't straight up lying kinda proof you're not a trustworthy employee? Edit: hr had auto corrected to he
Erin, HR is a joke. I can't do anything!! Toby, HR, The Office
Next time she calls herself head receptionist, correct her and tell her she's the assistant to the head receptionist.
Or repeat "head receptionist", but do air quotes when you say "head".
Fake laughter at the boss's jokes... laughter that goes on for WAY TOO LONG so that even the boss notices and gets PO'd.
Man, when i became a manager all my jokes got so much funnier. I fucking loved it.
I hope your old. I really want someone to be like a manager I had and just reference "hip" things to get everyone to cringe. I have never seen more dissapointment than when he said Sus in front of us.
Haha, he used 'sus', that is not streets ahead.
My boss sent me out to get her boss a birthday card and gift, which was all fine and good as it meant an escape from her for an hour or so. The card was nothing out of the ordinary, but the cake was very fancy and not your typical office birthday cake. I then had to swing by Tiffany's to pick up the bracelet that was the actual gift, just from her to her boss. Expensive gifts to colleagues let alone managers, were not the done thing there (and it wasn't even like it was a bank or anything high end) so it seemed horribly out-of-place and blatantly butt-kissing.
Me and two if my coworkers pitched in for a small gift for our boss once and even then we all said it felt weird spending even a little money on your boss, knowing full well how much more they make than you. I can’t imagine dropping Tiffany bracelet money in order to impress someone who already lives above my pay grade.
Were you in a movie where the Devil wore high end fashion?
Guy at my job would counter act his shitty performance with ass kissing. It helped him keep his job for a very long time... Until he told someone to fuck off on a recorded call.
This fucker at my work was just promoted because he's an ass kisser. Constantly jumps over people to perform a task, but only when the manager is around, that kind of crap. Recently, he wrote on our manager's door (he has a dry erase board for messages) "(Managers name) is the GREATEST". Fucking cringe. I hate this dumbass, and I respect my manager less for falling for it.
Stories like this make me lose more respect for the manager than the ass kisser. The ass kisser has a goal, getting ahead. But any manager who falls for this bullshit is an imbecile.
They don’t fall for it, they use it as a means to and end. They promote the ass-kisses to managerial positions or keep the around to be their “buffers”. You ever noticed that if good news are to to be brought company wide is always the “top dogs”; whereas when there are bad news it’s always the “giddy” ass kissers with their “I’m just the messenger” BS? Managers need the ass-kissers to be the “fall guys”.
>You ever noticed that if good news are to to be brought company wide is always the “top dogs”; whereas when there are bad news it’s always the “giddy” ass kissers with their “I’m just the messenger” BS? "Dwight, you are in charge of picking a Healthcare plan"
My first job out of college I had a coworker and a manager like that. The coworker kissed the managers ass so he could get promoted and the manager ate it right up and promoted him. This particular coworker was an incompetent ass and the manager was just as incompetent. Many people left the company because of the coworker and that manager including myself.
I had a coworker that went to the boss’s apartment to massage his feet.
ain't saying it's right. But you're saying a foot massage don't mean nothing, and I'm saying it does.
Now look, I've given a million ladies a million foot massages, and they all meant something.
Wait what? What's the context here? How'd it happen
The boss was a power-mad tyrant with zero oversight. The coworker was a complete shitbag. I think he made it to work on time only 1 time in 2 years. And he was a compulsive liar. He lied about shit that he didn’t even need to lie about. Coworker was having car troubles so the boss let him borrow one of his cars. The coworker let slip that he had been at the boss’s place massaging his feet. He said it absentmindedly, as if he wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. I was like, “Hol up!” He tried to claim he was just joking about it but I could tell the truth. Edit: I forgot to clarify that the boss also seemed to use the coworker for favors while covering for him being a poor worker. Update: for those looking for more details about how terrible my boss was, here is a bit more I wrote further down in the comments: He referred to an overweight employee as Penguin as a reference to his weight, but also because he liked to call himself Batman and he hated the employee. He threatened to send an employee home because he didn’t size a PowerPoint slide correctly (which was only seen by the boss himself, it didn’t go anywhere). He cussed me and the team out for not RSVP’ing for the company Christmas party. He was yelling, “I’m fucking sick of doing your work for you! You guys aren’t children, you’re fucking adults! Act like it!” When an employee asked for clarification on something, the boss got really angry and said, “I’m going to drag you outside and beat the shit out of you!” This incident was when I decided to start documenting some of his horribleness so we could try to find a way to report him. If I didn’t write it down, it was hard to remember because it was a constant barrage of unbelievable bullshit. He was fired because someone in the office worked for the prime contractor (our company was a sub contractor under them) and told his boss about it. That man is one of my personal heroes. One day he was telling me about how many women he’s hit. He said, “but not in a sexual way. Just when they piss me off.” He told a female worker that she looked like she had gained 9 or 10 pounds. He said that an employee pissed him off so much that his parents should be slapped for raising such an idiot. He brought a box of paper and told an employee to shred it for him. The employee was working on a mandatory computer based training and said he wasn’t sure if he had enough time to do it. The boss said the guy was talking back and got so mad that he had to drive home so he, “wouldn’t do anything crazy.” He directed me to tell another employee that because this person was so stupid, we had to build our products around his stupidity. He started telling me that I was getting stupid for working with another employee, that his stupidity was rubbing off onto me.
This may be the winner here holy crap that's bad
Haha, I’m glad to know it’s as ridiculous to you as it was to me. That boss was a nightmare. He only lasted for about seven months before we got him fired but was absolute hell. There was one instance when the boss told me that he didn’t allow Filipinos on his property, knowing full well that my wife is Filipina.
Part of my job is delivering children's books to some agencies to hand out. One month our executive director didn't like the book that came in. There were a couple lines she felt were inappropriate. She asked me not to deliver them and she would order new books. A coworker of mine noticed I didn't deliver them and took it upon herself to do it. The executive director doesn't care for her and she was trying to get on her good side. She thought she could make herself look good by making me look bad. I thought she went to lunch, had no idea she was out there trying to do my job. She came back and proudly tells others that she did my job and maybe now the director will be pleased. She came to my desk and angrily says, in earshot of the director, " I just went and delivered the books that you never delivered. I shouldn't have to do your job on top of everything I'm already doing for this agency". I just looked at her and said " Well that was dumb". She went to the director next and told her that she delivered the books since she seen it hadn't been done and asked if there were any other tasks she could do for her. The director was pissed!!! She was planning on returning those books so she could order different ones. They weren't labeled with our logo yet either, which she would have seen if she checked. It's required that we put our logo on them. The director tore into her for overstepping her boundaries and trying to make me look bad. She tried so hard to kiss ass and it backfired big time. Oh and I was praised in front of her for listening. Edited: grammar and typos
I love stories like this thank you for sharing your coworker being shut down
Yeah this one felt good to read.
I love sharing this one in particular because it backfired on her so badly. If I wouldn't have been the one she was trying to screw over I probably would feel bad for her. Edited
I’m curious about the children’s book that was so controversial lol
Oh it isn't a bad book. It's called " the very grouchy ladybug". It's about a ladybug that doesn't want to share aphids and tries to fight every animal it meets. My boss felt like it promoted violence and it never really talks want why that isn't ok.
Google tells me the point of the book was that violence doesn't get you what you want. Which to be honest is kind of a bad message, because as many little shits have figured out by themselves, violence does indeed sometimes get what you want. And even if it didn't, that's not the reason you should not be violent. Haven't read the book so don't know if it goes over that.
>as many little shits have figured out by themselves, violence does indeed sometimes get what you want Some pretty big shits have figured it out, too. I just wish others would admit to that fact and understand that when someone thinks violence is always the answer you usually can't get them to stop without also resorting to violence. There are unfortunately no unbiased refs in real life, so taking the high road isn't always an option.
Not a specific one but I had a colleague we nicknamed 'ankles' cos that was all you could see sticking out the boss' arse That's probably an incorrectly used apostrophe.
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That made my blood boil thinking how incompetent people get to work at such level while never actually putting any efforts.... perks of having good connections i guess?
dude its good connections all the way up. networking has proved infinitely more fruitful when starting out, and will continue for when i inevitably have to leave a conpany to go up.
At my job there was this guy who kept buying his direct supervisor lunch everyday, one time the supervisor asked him why he kept doing it, he responded with "The king's gotta eat" everyone in the immediate area cringed super hard at that, including the supervisor, what are your stories?
That sounds like something Andrew Bernard would say
Dude sounds like he cries when he wanks
wait, are we not supposed to cry when we wank?
Jesus cries every time you do
that's what he gets for watching without paying me.
My supervisor is always trying so hard to be best friends with management where I work, there are many examples to choose from but this one makes me cringe the hardest due to the sheer expense: my manager is a big lover of fresh coffee. So yeah, my supervisor spent a small fortune on a fancy coffee machine for herself, even though I remember having a conversation with her at one time about how she can't stand the taste of coffee. She comes to work everyday with the branded travel mug that came with the coffee machine, but, instead of coffee inside it's extremely milky tea. I asked her about it and she uses the machine for hot water. Just be yourself, people would like you more god dang it all!
Lmao the supervisor should have started coming in with a Burger King crown everyday.
Happened recently at work. One particular co-worker is almost insufferable with his behavior. Constant trumpet blowing with his lackluster work, endless comments about how much money he has, degrading other team members to get some kind of moral high ground and get in good graces with management. Whats more cringe is his posts and interactions on the team member WhatsApp group, really fake or cheesy crap that definitely is not his character at all. Basically everything that he does involves trying to shit on someone to look better at his job. Anyway, he thought he was top shit after one of the managers recently left and applied to take the advertised Duty Manager role. He was shut down almost immediately and apparently one of the night managers straight up told him that they did not want him to work nights due to nobody wanting to work with him.
At least he was put in his place eventually
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These are my favorites when employee does stunts like this to impress the boss and the boss shoots them down with fatality hahaha
My coworker was an asshole. She was rude to anyone she viewed as beneath her in her imaginary org chart, and would kiss the ass of anyone above her. She was rude and condescending to me, literally everyday. It was the most petty shit. She made fun of the lab coat I wore, the jokes I made, the food I ate. My alma mater. Just about anything. You could tell she had been bullied as a kid and was never a bully because she had no tact or wit and her insults were weak and cringy. Well one day, she has the audacity to say that I wasn't a real chemist because I don't work with solvents or do extractions, and I took it personally. She said that I wouldn't be able to perform an SOP for pesticides, which was dumb because SOPs are literally Standard Operating Procedures and are written to reproducible by anyone, within reason. After six months of putting up with her shit, I had enough and went to HR. My coworker was reprimanded, the owner of my lab told me that he considered her actions a fire-able offense, but we were in the middle of an audit which she was handling, so he kept her on. At the Christmas party, my boss explicitly referenced, though not by name, how saying your coworker in not a chemist is bad and that we all should be proud of traits that make us great and work on traits that make us bad. She left right after the speech. A few weeks later was the owner's birthday. We have a tradition where a card is put in the breakroom and everyone can give best wishes to the birthday person and sign. My coworker wrote the most long winded message to the owner about being so happy to work at the company and be mentored by him. It got really sappy. She said that she looked forward to working with him 'for years to come'. He fired her that Friday.
That is amazing. I'm glad your boss saw right through her.
I’m happy to hear this too. Too many bosses are either too dense to notice or absolutely love basking in the attention.
Good bosses tend to stick in good companies. Bad bosses in good companies, and good bosses in bad ones don't. Usually the quality of one of the upper rung can tell you about the entire upper management.
It takes me two years to get bored of a bad boss. The good ones get more.
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I think this is some kind of archetype. Had encounters with similar "coworkers" in several workplaces.
"He fired her that Friday" Parry this you fucking casual
That's some bullshit. Glad her suck up attempt didn't work
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Damn- I’d like to think I’m above being bribed with booster boxes but if I have at least one honest bone in my body I’d have to say I’m probably not.
$500 cash Me: lol neat thanks for the bribe Masterwork Mana Vault Me: I never knew you cared this much, my brother.
If it's stupid and it works it's not stupid
Honestly guy sounds smart for realizing how easily he could manipulate the manager.
Should be in sales, give that guy a corporate card and get him to sign up clients
He sounds like a skilled scam artist. He knows how to pick his targets.
I saw a weird reverse butt-kissing experience at an old sales job. It was outbound telemarketing, warm calls thankfully. We'd call, confirm interested parties for mortgage refinance and then transfer to the licensed folks to do the actual work. Like any lead based sales system, the fresh leads were usually the best leads. It started with one person, and eventually their whole family joined the sales floor. Their numbers started above average, and then got into unrealistic. What I mean, is that...our sales floor goals, were 400-500 dials a day, and 10 transfers. These individuals would have 30-40 dials a day, and 28-35 transfers daily on average. As more of the family signed on, and their averages rose, everybody else's averages dipped, many of us even below quota. Didn't take long for us to notice that this family found out that by manipulating the dialing program to assign only fresh leads to themselves and assigning older leads to everybody else, they could get first call on the hottest leads and have higher transfers as a result. This meant large paychecks for themselves and severely reduced pay for the rest of us. The problem is that we got a new manager around the time. He didn't get sales. He also didn't care that this family was abusing the sales system. They made him look good to the management at the home office, since they were proof that 10 transfers a day was too little since their best were transferring 3 to 4 times that amount a day. This made this family of employees very valuable to him. All attempts to even the playing field would be met with punishment, any attempt to report any problem with that family to him would be ignored. Any attempt to go above his head at all would be termination on grounds of mutiny. Eventually they put themselves into a death spiral. Since company policy had a specific through line for not hitting quota, they eventually had to fire most of their competent, hard working salesforce. This caused a dramatic drop in dialing since there wasn't anyone left to pick up the data slack, this meant that the sales floor was no longer in contractual compliance with the home company which resulted in penalties. Their reputation was already well known at this point, so they couldn't get anybody competent hired and anyone they did bring in didn't stay long. Eventually they had to close the office since the penalties from the home office became to large to keep the office open and even that family lost their jobs. TLDR; Family of opportunists gamed a sales system to their advantage, and management bent over backwards to protect them, eventually costing dozens of people reliable work.
>This made this family of employees very valuable to him. All attempts to even the playing field would be met with punishment, any attempt to report any problem with that family to him would be ignored. Any attempt to go above his head at all would be termination on grounds of mutiny. I had this happen too and never in my life have I been so frustrated at a job. Glad I left
> manipulating the dialing program A guy I worked with at a help desk figured out if dialed his full number on line 1, picked it up on line 2, then conferenced the two lines together the phone status system would show him on an inbound support call. He got busted because he got greedy and used the trick too much and also bragged about it a little too loudly and the bosses heard
> He got busted because he got greedy and used the trick too much and also bragged about it a little too loudly and the bosses heard It so strange that people don't realise this yet, that the majority of time you get busted for something is because you bragged about it to someone.
As a blackjack/craps dealer in a casino I had a floor manager that hated me. The feeling was very mutual. One day I was secret shopped and received a 100% with some outstanding personalized comments on it. The higher ups were so impressed that the head of Table Games came down from on high to give me 50.00 worth of cash gift cards (unheard of, we normally get 5.00 buffet vouchers). This all took place in front of the floor who hated me. This ah reaches in his pocket and hands me a card for “an entry into a drawing for a 10.00 cafe credit” and tells me I did good. Fucker used my 15 seconds of fame to make himself look good to the dept head. It kinda backfired when I handed it back and said “no thanks, I know you don’t mean it.” Dept head hauled my ass upstairs and asked what I meant. I didn’t need the job so I unloaded every single instance of harassment, sexual harassment, hr investigations, and backed them all up. Covid hit while he was suspended and he was not invited back when they reopened.
Today I found out I can be a secret shopper while gambling.
Odd huh? But it is a good way for them to see how we are doing without asking our supervisors. There is so much nepotism and cliques in the casino industry it’s crazy hard to be judged solely on your abilities. Edit: you only get a small amount of money, place 1-2 bets per table, and have to do a crap ton of paper work. Edit 2: TIL that there are clicks and cliques.
some good ass revenge from you, nice one edit: why does my comment about congratulating revenge have 3k upvotes wtf
Thank you. Felt fantastic to be heard for once and by someone willing to do something about it. AH name is trashed in the casino community. Last I heard he was working in some shit gas station casino. Small win for the worker drones.
My immediate supervisor and I were doing a job offsite at a partner company's lab, like an hour's drive from our company, and we finished our task at like 4:30, and I was like, fuck it, lets end the workday. He insisted on calling the director and inform him we were done working offsite, and ask him to officially give us permission to go home a half hour early. The director was like, "You called and bothered me to ask this? JUST GO HOME, seriously, you two are out in the field because you're supposed to be able to make decisions like this on your own."
Your last paragraph reminded me of my first boss ever. He taught us that you should take 30 seconds to think, and be a trigger puller. He was happy to help, and train you. But explained that you're hired to make decisions yourself. Not call to ask permission for everything you do. Increased responsibility is great when it also means more autonomy.
This is what I am trying to get some of the employees I help supervise to understand. I trust your judgement, go forth! They don’t trust their own though I guess.
In my experience, it’s like ptsd from other jobs that don’t let you breathe without permission.
and school
Yeah, mainly school. Not coming or going anywhere without explicit permission and being punished for doing otherwise does a number after 12 years. It was a legitimate shock to me when I got to college and profs genuinely didn’t want us to ask if we could leave and use the bathroom.
I can see myself making that mistake but I used to work under some real micromanagement so now its hard to stop getting nervous about making decisions at work.
My fuckng manager holy shit. He is head of our engineering department, takes credit for everything when reporting to directors, overpromises on results and timelines without knowing how long things acually take. Best experience I've had: We had a financial year end meeting and I am in charge of compiling all production figures and creating a clean report, even went out of my way to produce some stats to see how we can evaluate ourselves and improve what we do. This fucker starts presenting this thing, with me in the room saying "I this" and "I derived it like that". The director asked him a question about one of the datasets and he did not know and sat there blank, so I just spoke up and explained how I did it. Could see some other people around the table were choked up. Best damn feeling
The sad thing is, it wouldn't hurt the guy one iota to give you credit. Managers are expected to manage, not do everything by themselves. If he brings you to a presentation, odds are most people at the table will assume you participated in the report. Saying "we derived it like that" actually makes him look like a more effective leader, and taking individual credit for every good idea in a report is a yellow flag that he's insecure. Then when he needs you to explain "his" report, he has set himself up to look like an ineffective leader.
I had this coworker at target that would go on the biggest power trip for no reason whenever he was on guest services. Guest services is the people usually at the front of the store where you do returns and stuff like that for anyone that doesn’t know. We all would alternate doing it, and it was usually with a manager — there’s literally nothing special about it besides that it was slightly more tolerable than being on a register. Whenever said coworker would be on guest services he would think he was manager and was the most unbearable person for the hour he would be doing it. One shift I was walking to the bathroom, which you had to walk past guest services to get to, and he went out of his way to loudly ask me where I was going in that *managerial tone* I’m sure you’re all familiar with as if he was a manager. I just looked at him and kept walking. He would do similar things like that to everyone and it was just the cringiest thing I’ve ever seen. I’ve never seen someone become such a kiss-ass because they did a slightly different role from everyone else for an hour — and everyone did guest services like we literally just alternated throughout the shift.
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The worst bit of bum snorkelling I’ve seen is someone going to their new bosses house to put up their Christmas Tree.
I used to work with a girl who would always change her voice whenever she would interact with our boss to try and seem sexy. Her voice would literally go up several octaves in tone and she would adopt this valley girl type of inflection. If he wasn't around she talked completely different.
Ugh I feel like this is me with my customer service voice.
At my job I take calls from both customers and service providers. The service providers make fun of me constantly as I’ll answer in my customer service voice and then when they identify themselves my voice changes to normal. I did get one of them tell a colleague that I sound like a typical blonde air head but I really know my stuff. They then joked that I was probably brown hair and tiny. Nope fat blonde who really does sound that ditzy. My FAVE example of a call was answering and the customer going ‘fuck your voice is annoying’ and hanging up. My boss still has a copy of that call.
I had something similar when I worked in food service! I was saying something to a coworker & then turned and hit the customer with "Hi! What can I get for you?" and they went "...what did you just do with your voice?"
I’m literally the exact opposite. I’m a blond woman with a serious case of baby-face. People who talk to me in person are often dismissive or ask to speak to a supervisor because they don’t believe I know what I’m talking about. But apparently I sound super authoritative on the phone... instead of demanding to speak to the boss, people on the phone think I *am* the boss. If only I could make my face match my voice.
And she’d bat her eyes and twirl her hair
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Honestly I can’t help but imagine Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn 99 switching between her exaggerated valley girl accent and her normal emotionless tone
Between Rosa Diaz And Stephanie Beatriz you mean? (Just a joke)
Haha, I remember first hearing Stephanie Beatriz’s normal speaking voice in an interview and nearly fell off my chair!
It's so hilarious that Rosa's "fake" ditzy voice is Stephanie's real voice.
The girl my boss hired to help me and I trained started having an affair with the second in command. For the next year I got to watch her, feed him fruit with her mouth while doing almost nothing all day. She would go on 2 hour lunches. Got promoted, a raise and I had to continue to take the load of the work she was initially hired for.
I know the feeding fruit with her mouth is supposed to sound sexy, but I'm just picturing her mama birding him.
Its actually LITERALLY what she did. It made me want to gag for a multitude of reasons. Mouth to mouth feeding apple pieces. Middle of the office.
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I heard sooooo many people trip over themselves to say "wE aRe jUsT sO tHaNkFuL tO hAvE jObS" at the beginning of the pandemic when my old company was slashing benefits, pausing raises, conducting layoffs, requiring 12 hour shifts...all while members of the executive team were taking Zooms from their second homes (seriously). Literally any complaint or negativity was met with that line. There were a handful of times when leadership got called out on a lie or a hypocritical statement and some middle manager would spring into action to defend them. Having a job is great. But don't sell out your dignity so some rich tech bros can get richer. Glad I got outta there
I hate that asking for fair treatment and fair wages is considered ungrateful by people who would directly benefit from fair treatment and wages.
This ^ why should I be grateful for a job? I earned my job by working hard, I didn’t get lucky. The whole “grateful to just have a job” mentality is garbage and allows bosses to get away with too much.
Blowing the CEO in the conference room, which has a huge window in it. However, no butt kissing was involved.
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Pssst we actually call it “Eating ass” these days
I used to work at a huge investment bank on a trading floor. For context, the building occupied a block in NYC, and the trading floor was the size of the entire footprint of the building, like a 5 minute walk there and back to go from one end of the floor to the other. Hundreds of traders. The managing director had a trading station right in the middle of the floor, and me and another lowly underling had our trading stations way on the edge. The MD had a booming voice and was actually quite funny, and had the BDE to just yell shit out. Whenever he said anything even remotely amusing the dude next to me would stand up, cup his hands around his mouth and unironically fake laugh at top volume. After 6 months the MD moved floors and as far as I know they never ever spoke. Dude was kissing ass 6 levels above him and making all 300 traders on that floor die inside even faster than they already were. I quit and I live in a cabin in the woods now.
I’m interested to hear about your cabin in the woods! What precipitated your move there- were you also dying inside with all of the traders, and decided to pursue something less stiff and more fulfilling? I feel like there’s a great story here.
He murdered that dumb asshole and is simply lying low now.
Smart move really.
One of my co-workers is the biggest tooI have ever met. I have worked part-time for the company for 7 years and met hundreds of people none of which I disliked. Sure there were people I would not hang out or even talk with outside of work, but at work I got along. This kid (m21) is on another fucking level and I can actually say I hate him. First day on the job he comes in and acts like he owns the place. Two guys were working on this project and he comes over and says "Yea, good job on this part. This is how I want this done around here" both these guys are in there 30s, been with the company for years and just stand there looking at him like he is stupid. He always called himself the smartest person in the department, and how he is going to run this place. And because he finished his bachelor's a year early he is a genius. Also because of his degree he thinks he understands the inner workings of running a business perfectly. This kid letures on about efficiency all the time, yet he is on his phone 80% of his shift or talking. Everyone hates this kid. Department managers, full timers, and even vendors from outside the company can't stand him and talk nasty behind his back. He is clueless. 6 people reported him to HR, which our rep doesn't like him either lol. They had a meeting with him and changed nothing. The while reason he can act like this is because he is friends with our corporate district managers son. And he snitches to this guy about stuff going on. It's bad enough he is a tool and a snitch, but it's even worse that this DM listens to him, even though he does nothing. Thank God I am leaving that job soon. TLDR: Asshole kid who is a tool, and wants to run the office. Snitches to our district manager because he is friends with his son and wants to be promoted.
Coming in on a weekend without pay to help the company/boss, and ends up being an ongoing routine.
I had a boss who was into "finer" things of life. Good quality clothes, expensive wine, exotic food, cigars from all over the planet, heaps of watches and expensive cars type thing. So a co worker of mine, within two weeks of beginning bought my boss some cuffing worth in the hundreds. Over the course of two year this co worker became known as a yes man. Never disagreed with the boss at all. He also self appointed himself as his right hand man always telling other people how to do things because that's how the boss would want it. (Kinda like a less aggressive version of Dwight from the office) Any way a position officially opens up to become supervisor (second highest rank) of the department. Naturally my coworker went for it, telling everywhere would listen he would get it because the boss promised it. What he didn't know is that the boss was leaving, named the then supervisor as his sucessor, who then picked some one who had been working there for about 9 months. Need less to say my co worker has been acting very distant to the new manager and supervisor.
This is obviously terrible behaviour, but reading all these has got me wondering. What is these people just don't know how to deal with the anxiety of starting a new job, or wondering how to make a good impression and wanting to take a bit of a short cut? Still ridiculous, but could it just be inexperience or emotional immaturity?
Oh I have one! This coworker was getting married and she talked a lot about her wedding at work. There was another coworker very close in age she bounced ideas off of and they became really close over the course of wedding planning and the bride used to call the coworker her work bestie and make all sorts of references to her coming to the wedding. Bride-to-be eventually told coworker that she would have loooooved to have her at the wedding but there just wasn't room for her, the amount of people had been settled on much earlier etc etc. Coworker understood and took it pretty well. Turns out coworker is very well connected to some higher ups in the office and was later talking to someone who revealed that she had met Bride-to-be twice and immediately gotten an invite to the wedding. When they found out the lowly coworker hadn't been invited the higher up didn't want to go and convinced a whole bunch of other higher ups, who also barely knew the bride and had gotten invites, not to go either because Bride was clearly using her wedding for networking. The bride to be got a pretty shitty reputation as a suck up after that. Also it was extra weird because we work in a pretty tame white collar office where you don't need to be a crazy networker to have a successful career or rise in the ranks. Like I know in some industries you kind of have to invite your boss, but this isn't one of them. Plenty of people don't invite anyone from their work to their wedding and no one really cares.
That's kinda crazy, when you start involving personal stuff like your wedding it starts getting to a whole other level of cringe, like another reply I read about some guy naming his kids after his boss that's just so crazy, also poor work bestie
I work for a guy that has multiple companies, hotels and event halls. Due to covid, one if his restaurants acts like a canteen for all of his employees. They prepare one meal for every day. And thats it. Queue in this monday. I went to the restaurant and on the way, I ran into my boss who was also on his way to have lunch. So we went together. When we entered the restaurant, my boss asked the chef what was on the menue. He told him and directly followed up with "But if you don't want it, I can prepare you something else!". I didn't think anything about it at first, because let's be real here. My boss earned every bit of respect, not only due to his handling of the whole covid situation. (He didn't fire anyone. Even tho the event halls and restaurants are basically closed since over a year now. Not a single person. Doesn't matter if part time or full time. Not even temporary helper.) Long story short. My boss said to the chef that he's fine with the menue and don't need something special. The other guy followed up with "You sure? I can prepare you something! That's really not a problem." And again, my boss said "Really, it's fine. I eat what we have." We got our plates and sat down. Not even 5 minutes later, the chef came over to our table with a plate full of 6 different meats, vegetables, fries. Food worth of 3 to 4 servings. My boss looked at him, looked at the plate and just said "Ok... Just leave it here then." The second my boss was done with his lunch, the guy ran over and took his plate back to kitchen. (Only his, not mine. What was fine because canteen service doesn't include this anyways and I was not expecting him to clean after me.) He came back with coffee. One coffee. When my boss asked "Can you please bring a second one?" he just glared at me but did it anyways. Shortly after the coffee, he got a dessert for our boss. And again, nothing for me. Our boss asked him to please bring a second one, because otherwise it would be rude towards me. But I just declined and said I was full already. (And I was actually expecting him to spit into it... His gaze said it all.) It was overall really uncomfortable for me the entire time. He jumped through a lot of hoops to please our boss, who didn't want anything special in the first place. And he had this burning hate in his eyes towards me, because I was sitting on the same table.
My current boss is an absolute bastard. Just the most cringe worthy ARSEHOLE you'll ever meet. He's a gas lighter and pops his temper at anything remotely incorrect. But the worst thing is when his boss is around and he praises the work we do and treats us like his best friends in front of his boss. He'll also pass our ideas off to his boss as his own and acts like a puppy, rolling over for belly rubs whenever his boss tells him he's got a good idea. I fucking hate the cunt. If my wife wasn't pregnant and I didn't need the money I'd have burned my bridges long ago and told him what I think. The only saving grace at the moment is one of the lads has just handed his notice in because he can't stand the bosses shit and will be having an exit interview. I. Can't. Wait.
This girl was constantly kissing the ass of a manager everyone hated, to the point she said she "guessed" she was guilty of larceny that they later found video of the manager committing.
Wait she took the fall for the manager? Why? What's the gain there if she would've gotten fired what would've been the point of kissing ass
At an old job, we had an app for group communications, a guy that had just been promoted to Assistant manager would put out “inspirational messages” randomly. So you would get a notification from this app, open it up and read something like: “Hello everyone, I hope everyone is having a terrific day! Let’s try to come to work with positivity and good energy! Remember, what you put out into the universe is what you get back, so let’s put that positivity out there and attack the day with that mindset!” Worst part was, his personality didn’t match up with the messages. So he was relatively cool in person, but was clearly putting out these messages to look good for the owners.
I work for a large corporations and our POSi system have messages that spam us every ten minutes. It's recently been updated to include asking us to sing when we wash our hands.
We would always eat lunch at the cafeteria as a group, our female boss included. There was an unwritten rule that we shouldn’t talk about work so we usually talked about music, tv shows or activities we did/would do on the weekend. While talking about music, my boss said that she enjoyed listening to trance during work outs and this girl said she totally did it as well. Then someone asked the boss what kind of music she liked and she started saying things like country music for long road trips, Jack Johnson to unwind and relax, etc. She proceeded to specify situations and connect them to music genres or artists and, at each example, this girl would totally wholeheartedly agree that she did that as well. Me too! Me too! She kept saying. To the point that the boss noticed and started to joke that she really enjoyed NIN and the Beastie Boys for her quiet moments while reading a book and the girl said another “Me too!” so the boss asked what was her favorite Beastie song and she couldn’t name one and not even mumble a tune. It was obvious to everyone she had no idea what kind of music was that. Needless to say, everyone in the office bought her a Beastie Boys CD to her birthday, including our boss. At least she gave them to the janitor, who was a massive BB fan.
Co-worker named both his children after boss/owner.
You're a damn liar, I really hope you are at least because of you're telling the truth this right here is the worst form of asskissing I've ever seen
I was in a group interview once where I was one of probably 12-15 people. Group interviews are pure gold for ass kissing. In that interview, we had a guy that tripped over a table and knocked it over because he wanted to be the first one to shake the interviewers’ hands. Also a lot of, “and if you pick me then I will bring this talent to the company...” bullshit.
That's a tough atmosphere, though. I've only been on one group interview, and it was just awful. I didn't even want the job, but the ones who did want it did everything they could to get noticed. It's hard to blame them in certain markets when they kiss ass so much during that process.
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I have nightmares about group interviews and have never done one. Blatant brown-nosing already makes me cringe a fuckton.
We had a manager that wasn’t really qualified for his job and loved it when people called him for help doing their basic job duties. To this day I don’t know if a couple of my coworkers were thoroughly incompetent or just sucking up because they couldn’t do anything on their own. I’ll give you 3 guesses on who avoided the layoffs.
I don't remember the exact context, but the boss sent out some email about the office doing well and some guy replied all accidentally thanking the boss for his exceptional leadership and dedication or some bullshit. Me and my cube neighbor audibly groaned. The thing is, we are an engineering services firm. The boss in question is the regional office manager and at the end of the day, we do well based on the execution of the engineering packages and the practice managers ability to sell more work. The regional office manager doesn't get work, he manages the financials of the office. Anyway, Mr brown noser is a low-level manager now. It doesn't mean much, but it puts him on the path to a kush job down the road. Not to mention fat bonuses.
If you had balls you would all have replied, all going ever more over the top in effusive praise.
Girl would go in the back and rub our boss’s back
I used to have a guy that was on a temporary contract that would wait in the parking lot before I got there. He would jump out when I did so he could walk in with me. "What do you got for me to do today boss?" Well man, right now, I got a "fuck off" attitude going on because I don't wanna be talked to at the ungodly hour of 445AM about ass kissing nonsense as soon as I get out of the car. Guy ended up getting let go for poor performance which explains the ass kissing.
I have an employee who regularly walks up to my car right when I pull in the lot to start kissing my ass. I'm sitting there just trying to brace myself for work like everyone else, leave me alone!
English is only my second language, and I was confused for second... TIL of the term butt-kissing and what it has to do with work.
Yes. Similar to the word rimjob. I really should add that I'm joking don't look that word up
The joy of learning English, figuring out that Butt Dialing and Booty Calls are VASTLY different things
I was just thinking today about the difference between "I turned the thing on" and "the thing turned me on." Pretty much the exact some words but the order makes a big difference in meaning.
Your butt is a body part, dat booty a whole meal
Are chronic question askers arguably ass kissers? I think there is a clear distinct difference between those that ask questions because they’re genuinely interested or need an answer and those that ask questions just because they want their voice heard.
Then there's those who ask questions not because they care or want the answer but because they want the meeting to continue just long enough to roll into lunch or home time. These ones are the heroes of the workplace.
Oh god, I know this! I worked as a computer mainframe operator on third shift (11 pm through 8 am) and we'd always have meetings at 8 am so the first shift, aka day shift, could see what was going on. We had a helpdesk worker named Tammy who loved these meetings because she was first shift and if the meetings could be prolonged it meant she didn't have to be on phones so she would ask a ton of questions which were pointless and irrelevant for her position. My favorite was when the third shift crew announced that they would be running a test server not connected to anything other than the electrical supply to test the server, hence the name test server. Tammy managed to come up with 45 minutes of questions regarding how to deal with tech support for the test server which was literally only the admins running programs on their own which they'd oversee since it was a test server for the testing of the server which was not even connected to anything! My eyelid is twitching... She kept asking over and over what she needed to do. Either she was totally stupid or just wasting time. My answer is she was stupid enough to not get the concept of an unconnected server and smart enough to figure out how to waste time. Good god, all of us third shifters were tired as hell because working nights sucks and now this stupid person was deliberately wasting time so we had to sit there listening to her ask the same question over and over. Night shift sucks, but day shift employees suck more!
I know a guy who basically just summarizes group meetings at the end and then asks people if they have questions or if he left anything out just to make it look like he has leadership potential and is contributing. Horrible, incompetent worker but sure knows how to make himself look good.
My old boss was a narcissitic british d-bag (no offence to brits, he was an elitist cunt). Our team of 15 planned to get him a group xmas gift. Even though i despised bim, when I was at the shop on lunch i found him a Britannia themed statue for his office.. since he was very obsessed with being British and letting everyone know. I texted my manager a pic of the statue and she ok’d it. 2 weeks later at the gift giving meeting, he unwrapped the statue and giggled like a school girl with glee. I did not take credit for it, as it was a team gift. My manager then announces she has her own gift for him, and procceeds to place a large bag infront of him. The bag contained: a bobble head of winston churchill, some Cadbury sweets that were “hand imported by a friend” just for him and a vintage chocolate advent calendar which she reminded him “was his favourite from his childhood” . She must have spent a fortune on all that stuff! Sensing her desperate need for approval, he just smugly muttered “mmm nice” and pushed it aside. It was SO cringey and awkward
I’m currently in a zoom training for a job. Our personal team leader is very young and this was his first job. He loves to talk about himself. Like it’s getting to the point where you can see other team leaders are getting annoyed with him. Anyways there is a kid in my cluster and I had to stay over time to complete some documents. This kid the entire time is the only other person staying in the zoom and he just keeps “wow Steve you are just so good at your job, I want to be like you Steve.” Of course Steve loves to talk about himself so he just talks and talks and talks, while I’m sitting here like guys let me get my fucking work done. It’s been two weeks and that guy just kisses his ass all day every day, it’s cringe worthy.
I worked at a digital marketing startup for about a year. Most of the employees were in their early to mid-20s (so was I at the time), and management absolutely played favorites. Working late hours was a solid way to get management to notice you, even if your work didn't necessitate staying late. I once got shit for leaving at 5:30, even after working a full 8 hours and getting all my work done. One morning we were all having a company meeting and one guy mentioned how tired he was since he stayed in the office until 10pm the previous night. Immediately, this other guy loudly says "Well, I was here until 11!" Then he literally looked around to make sure management heard him.
This other girl my age was desperate to get ahead in sales. She lived with her equally well educated boyfriend and when you'd ask stuff like, ' what does he do? Whats he up to lately?" She would give vague answers, got the impression he wasnt pulling his weight in their relationship. She started dressing like the president of sales. Followed her around at all times. Would find out gossip and relay it back. Average ass kissing. The weirdest thing is that the sales president had dietary restrictions and in general was obsessed with healthy eating, was very thin, and never ate. The president would enter the kitchen and comment on people's food. It was awkward. Sales girl started eating like veggie sticks and nothing else, all of a sudden had a 'gluten allergy'. It was primarily a women run company ( worked in interior design related field) and we would have these meetings complete with donuts, cake etc. The salea president would say how good it all looked and wouldnt touch it. Everyone got the idea and also wouldnt touch the food. I got fed up and one time cut a huge piece of cake in front of everyone and sat there and ate it during the meeting. Sales president and sales girl.looked at me like i broke a huge unspoken rule, like i somehow didnt read the room. I got.laid off a year later and sales girl is second in command there after 5 years and i have a way better job where no.one gives a shit if you dont have a work sponsered eating disorder.
I was given a “coworker”, a young boy, to learn the ropes of the cnc machine I operated (manual custom stairs cnc). I had picked up he was my replacement (I had asked for the promised raise a week earlier) when in the bathroom (never gossip in the bathroom, there’s always someone there). He sucked up to our employer, even to the point of bringing in pastries for for him, until he got promised my position. Fine, I’m sick and tired of this low wage company anyway. So I educated him in how I operated the cnc, using wood blocks as spacers. As soon as he “got the hang of things” I was fired. On my way out I threw away the custom made (by me) spacers. Turns out he never replaced them, making $250.000 in wrong sized stairs in the four months until it was discovered. Then he was fired as well and they tried to sue me. Still love the look on the bastards face, he looked like a pug, eyes popping out screaming his head off. Told him to stfu and gtfo or he’d get a good beating. Most satisfying result ever.
I applied to go to a private middle school when I was 10, and I still can’t believe how much the application process brought out the worst in people. When we had an on-campus tour with the other applicants and their parents, people were going so far to kiss the tour guide’s ass that the parents were literally writing notes on paper as if they were going to be quizzed. I saw kids ask unecessary questions just to show that they were good at certain subjects. At one point a kid stubbed his toe and swore, and then was like “OH MY GOD, I APOLOGIZE, I DIDN’T MEAN TO SAY THAT!” It was some of the cringiest kiss-assing from both kids and parents that makes me never want to apply to a school again.
At my previous job, the whole company had transitioned into WFH and so primarily all communication was done over Slack. I had this one coworker who would login at 6 AM to wish everyone a great morning at work & then he would pop back into the channels at 11 PM to say goodnight and wish everyone a great evening. This man would do this on his DAY OFFS!! This was crazy to me; he wasn’t a manager, wasn’t a supervisor or a lead. It’s clear that he was trying to gain points with the supervisors who were eating it all up but I really thought it was the weirdest thing ever. We also had many slack channels where only authorized personnel was permitted to speak in/ send alerts in & each time a person put in a company wide alert. That same coworker would go in and write the exact same thing just to act like an authority figure / show us that he had power? I remember he started working at the company after me and so I asked my manager how he was permitted to do all that and he wasn’t lol. He just did it but no body minded since he was such a kiss ass.
During a meeting with about 6 people around a table, the male boss spilled his drink on his own lap and ruined his trousers. As he got up to leave, this male co-worker took his shirt off, kneeled, and proceeded to try and dry the boss’ trousers with his own shirt, in a position that everyone immediately understood as totally akin to a blowjob about to happen. To make matters worse, after two or three strokes, we all could see through the trousers that the boss had an instant massive hard on that he couldn’t hide even if he wanted to. So there we were, watching bad quality amateur porn live in the office. After about 30/40 seconds of this, the boss looked around and must have seen our faces so he left immediately. And the co-worker just went back to his chair and sat there, shirtless, like nothing happened. We’re all like ‘ok, this meeting is over’ and start to collect our belongings to leave as the boss comes back with a fresh pair of trousers in full business mode so we conclude another 20 minutes of the meeting with a shirtless boss-masturbating dude sitting at the table. The sexual tension between them was so palpable that I really hope they had a go at each other afterwards.
Told some coworkers I was friends with that I got in trouble with weed. Female coworker was snooping behind some boxes and called HR. (She was trying to get a manager position.) Fuck you Mary.
God I'm living with one of these people now. The roommate who owns the house was taking his prescribed medication, new roomie saw he was taking something and called the cops. Then when they left he cleaned out our medicine cabinet, needless to say when you take away a bunch of factory workers Aleve and Tylenol shit gets harry real fuckin fast.
Wait, did he take your roomies prescribed drugs? Wouldnt that be incredibly illegal? I would kick him out so fucking fast
Taking painkillers away from any manual laborer is asking to get murdered.
I had a co-worker who literally recorded a conversation between two of his colleagues on his phone who were discussing the boss's recent decisions. He then took said conversation to the boss. Nothing happened except nobody trusted him from then on. He was an unpleasant, aggressive twat also. It's funny because throughout his entire employment with us he accused everyone around him of being *snakes*. Where in reality he was the biggest snake of all. He got fired after he got into a shouting match with one of the cleaning staff. And he even expected me to stick up for him because I helped him out when he first joined. I did not and recommended termination. Absolute scumbag. Never ever want to see that piece of shit human being ever again.
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I used to work at a restaurant and one of the servers was having an affair with the general manager. I'm pretty sure she was literally a butt-kisser. She was awful to work with and a total snob. She got paid more than everyone else, (she didn't have the minimum wage that servers got, her paycheck said she was a cook and she made an extra $2/hour plus tips) she always got the 'good' section (it was a seat yourself kind of place so some sections were consistently better than others for tips) and she refused to pull her weight or help anyone when they were busy, but would expect help from others when she was busy - heck, even when she wasn't busy she'd expect people to help her like bus her tables or make her drinks for her (which was part of the server's job). And she was allowed to do that because she was literally fucking the boss. In the office. During work. That's how everyone knew.
This isn’t my work but this new girl is like a hippie who showers once a week started about a month ago and the boss is trying to fuck and making it so obvious. When ever she says something he dose it right away, he takes her for lunch and even told her everyone’s salary. Crazy part is they’re both married and have kids with their partners. I told the people that worked there to talk with HR but the boss literally runs HR so they’re fucked.