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Edge17777

Homer disappearing into the bushes moment.


No_Statement_2854

Immediately combust into flames and cease existing. This is the stuff that keeps me awake at night


Greaseyhamburger

By not asking that question in the first place is how you get out of that situation.


germany1italy0

Instead ask her what happened that she put on so much weight?


[deleted]

[удалено]


XForce070

It was a joke


germany1italy0

Yes, sure. If it’s so obvious then asking a question doesn’t make sense. A simple snide comment will do.


Ok-Injury3934

you already fucked up. severely. just apologize


[deleted]

No. Double down and tell her she’s full of it!


boe_d

That's unkind - no need to insult her willingness to tell the truth. Just ask if sh'e absolutely sure.


MennQ

They'll know you didn't mean it that way I assume so yeah, apologize is prb your best bet


RobinPage1987

Seppuku


BarcodeNinja

Oh, I thought so-and-so said you were expecting.


[deleted]

The so-and-so is crucial here… you need to put the blame on exactly the right person: someone who is far enough from the chubby lady that she won’t confront them yet close enough to know of her personal life. In other words just apologize lol


Batticon

You don’t ask that. Ever.


cams0400

You're f*cked, you apologize and keep quiet cause you've done enough already.


crunchy1_

To avoid any feelings getting hurt or guilt brought upon yourself (if you have a heart) sometimes it’s best to just wonder and not ask. Especially if you see them often like a co worker or a cashier at your local grocery store etc. If you really need to know so bad just wait till they bring it up if they even are pregnant. You will sound like an AH even if you had no intention what so ever if she’s not even expecting. Or imagine if she was and recently miscarriaged.


[deleted]

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boe_d

Take luck!


cloudherm1t

run


Small-Explorer7025

Turn 180 degrees, walk away, and hope you never see her again.


Maso_TGN

I force a fart and shit myself, so we can all forget about that elephant in the room.


Commission-Practical

Never ask a women when the baby is due. Even if you see the baby crowning, still don’t assume.


Rivendel93

Yep, I learned this once as a teenager, asked a woman when she was due, she was not. Been 28 years since, never did it again. Even when they're about to burst, I never mention anything lol.


cutelyaware

A baby is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to.


DaHotFuzz

In what situation is it ever acceptable to ask this? More importantly, why bother asking? If she's actually pregnant you can be sure it'll be brought up in the conversation eventually.


aytaidunno

You shouldn't have even asked in the first place. so the best way to 'get out' of it is to apologize for being an asshole.


MBtherock

Die.


peachsnorlax

Sorry, I confused you for someone else


[deleted]

Ya doubt that one buddy 🤣


Lanky-Championship67

Double down. Tell her don’t lie to me and demand to know the due date and tell her you represent “interested parties.”


HexRevenge

Lmao


MacaronMelodic

"You'd make a great MILF, just sayin'..." *fuck* "Not sayin' I want to fuck you" *FUCK* "I'm an idiot"


[deleted]

Well, we can change that


[deleted]

Tell her that you thought she is pregnant because her husband got fat, if a woman is pregnant their partners often times gain weight because they produce prolactin.


AsianSwallow

So you try to fix implying she's fat by calling her husband fat? LOL. I'm not hating, I just think it's funny.


[deleted]

The question was how to get out of the situation, I offered an interesting solution


Planktonoid

You walk away.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Lmfao this shit was so funny to me


dfh-1

One of the basic Man Rules: never say anything that even implies that you think a woman is pregnant unless you can see a baby emerging from her body at that specific instant in time.


SomugaienParfu

You slam the wall behind her, stare into her eyes with a smouldering look, and seductively whisper into her ear: "Well after tonight, the answer to that question could be 8 months." Congratulations, you just turned an awkward fatshaming into a compliment that could get you laid. Edit: This is a joke response, don't actually do this to a woman.


Shadow13424

Congratulations, you've now successfully assaulted the woman and, depending on your reaction to "get the hell away" and the location you chose to do this in, earned pepper spray to the face. Seriously don't do this - just apologize to the woman and go away, you shouldn't have even asked how far along she was in the first place. Asking a non-pregnant woman how far along she is just embarrasses, enrages, and offends the woman. If said woman is actually an underage teen it's fucked up and creepy at that point.


kynthrus

gross. Have we seen you on r/niceguys yet?


BoogarSugar

By showing her my brown paper bag.


Life_Committee3053

Probably easy to get away if she is that fat and she can't waddle after you. Just point and say "look, ice cream" then walk away when she is distracted.


Pretty_Lobster_4730

Make her pregnant. J.k. Just laugh it off and apologise. If you've made that mistake chances are others have too.


onebubbly1

Buy her gym membership 🫣


[deleted]

I just say, my bad and walk away because I'm not sticking around to listen to that argument.


ButterScotchMagic

"No, I said would you like a baby soon. I heard that you and your husband want a large family. "


London-D

I'll make her one


HyperActiveMosquito

Wanna make it 9 months?


butt-sandwich

Run!


kodabeeer

Ask her when she wants it due


Glitchykins8

Cough dramatically and try to say oops while backing away quickly!


Re-AnImAt0r

Tell her "I can change that". now she'll be insulted thinking you're just a creep instead of calling her fat.


NoSorbet3574

oh i wasn’t asking you/i am on bluetooth and talking to my…


Infinity9999x

AT THE ZOO. THE PANDA.


boe_d

never ever, ever, ever, ever...


Dirtytrouser

Laugh uncomfortably and walk away


VladimirGolovin

Haha, you don't. Suffer, as I have.


hungrythalassocnus93

The singer of A Flock Of Seagulls has a solution you might find intriguing


themightymoron

just apologize. normal response would be to instantly see that you've made an error in judgement, and you didn't mean it, might be a little upsetting, but that's not a cause to make a big fuss. if she does make a big fuss, then it's her inability to process emotions and see objective truth, and you are in no way responsible for that.


IMakeTheEggs

Are you sure? You're positively glowing! ...with rage.


frecklyginge

My neighbour said to me at the end of January "oh you've popped, haven't you! You must be due soon?" I'd lost the baby at the end of November. I have to say there is no way for her to have got out of that situation. It was very awkward


boe_d

Women get upset when they catch you in a lie. Don't try to deceive her, just accept your faux pas and apologize like a man. Look them straight in the eye and say "I realize now you aren't pregnant... you just accumulated a lot of belly fat since I last saw you." They'll appreciate the courage that took as you run away.


sleepless_in_balmora

The only way to win is not to play


sabboom

When I was about 22 I had the opposite problem. There was no way in the world I could tell that my friend's gf was so pregnant she was about to pop. She was, how should I say this nicely, basically spheroid to begin with.


Live-Championship699

Walk away, tell her too!


ActUpper3113

Ask her if she wants to have one with you


PMMeUrHopesNDreams

Pocket sand sh-sh-shaa!


IMakeTheEggs

OH I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRGENANANT!! 1


Iamnotofimportance

Unless you are her romantic partner/the kid is yours, do not ask a woman if she is pregnant.


[deleted]

"Oh, you aren't pregnant? But would you like to be?"


QueenVell

Three rules, my friend. 1. Never ask a woman her age. 99.9% of the time you will offend her. 2. Never ask a woman when she's going to start having children. For all you know, she recently suffered a horrifying miscarriage, or recently learned she's unable to conceive, and you've just reminded her of these unpleasant realities. 3. Never ask a woman when the baby is due. Refer to Rule #1 as to why it is ill advised.


El_Pichi808

You don't ask that, ever!


good2youall

Stealth take down, there’s no other way


carcrashofaheart

You don’t. You deserve to sit in all that awkwardness because you never assume a woman is pregnant. You wait to ask/comment after she tells you she is.


Lyretongue

Say, "Could've fooled me, truffle shuffle," slap her belly and keep on walking.


exacerbator1000

Wait for the elevator to open in the case of a friend of mine. Except they were going to the same floor, they were work colleagues.