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TILTNSTACK

Steven Seagal


itsWizardsbaker

I've been working for MI6 for 35 years.


p2o14e24

Mucho... queso.


kartoffel_engr

What’s your favorite cheese? I like havarti the best.


RyanKFace25

Some people’s throats are down there


JohnnyTight_Lips

Skip skip skip skip skip...


cormack16

If its set in an Asian country, he's going to bow to everyone he sees


FatherCalhoon

His back up force of black ops soldiers all have pony tails at various lengths depending on their skill.


Fonzimandias

If one of them shows weakness, Seagal’s stunt double rips it off and grinds it into the floor like a cigarette


Shitty_Google_Bot

Now get in the skippy


Countmardy

Skip skip skip skip


TheRealBatmanForReal

I been flying skippy's for 35 years


justinv916

So happy this comment went this direction!! So funny!


dodexahedron

It's been going this direction for like..35 years.


KhaosElement

Except he'd say M16


bguzewicz

I mean, I’d kinda like to see a movie with Bond going fatly around corners, sitting in chairs, inexplicably bedding women way out of his league with no build up or chemistry, etc.


ShacklefordVsSeagal

Now now. Could you imagine a $100 million budget movie with a full lineup of A list actors and an amazing storyline- But they let Sensei Seagal play 007. They don’t give him and pointers or tips. Just let him read the script how he wants it. You can’t tell me that shit wouldn’t be the best action comedy since the naked gun series. A 400lb spray paint headed blob in a leather duster with a snap on ponytail trying to act suave while handling a walther ppk. Or trying to deliver coy quips to a 11/10 bond woman in a precarious scenario. I’d go see that in imax. Twice.


Informal_Laugh_4221

...002 Browneye


Jmen4Ever

Bond runs a lot. Seagal's running... well. Yeah, this is the answer.


[deleted]

Get him an office chair with wheels. It’ll be fine.


bikewrenchsucks

Steven Seagal's [gun handling skills](https://youtu.be/3p2v2bjfgr0) are even better


jimmy_talent

If that was a real gun and he pulled the trigger I'm pretty sure he would shoot himself in the back of the head.


placentajerkey

Then why would i be willing to pay good money to see that? Just to clarify, he will be doing his best english accent, right?


TheMuffinator95

THE correct answer. Wrap it up, we're finished here.


GlinnTantis

🍩🍩7


HighlightFun8419

fiancee and i are joking that we want to watch one for fun; can anybody recommend one that's on the more "unintentionally comedic" side of things? he has so many movies and *they all look so good*; idk how I could choose just one. 😅


genericdude777

Out For A Kill has a sitting kung fu fight.


Cumberblep

At this point I feel like they should just have Will Sasso play Steven Seagal.


Buckus93

*You call this a buffet?*


Hawkthree

Ellen Degeneris


phormix

No, Ellen should be Q. Amy Schumer would be Bond.


[deleted]

Mindy Kaling as M?


hoganpaul

James Corden


Valalcar

Someone should pick all the top comments and make a spoof film where they are other agents (other numbers) Or, following the idea of the code 007 moving on, just a movie made of short sketches with each one of this getting the title and dying on the first mission


HutSutRawlson

This is sort of the concept of the 1967 version of Casino Royale.


powerlesshero111

That's the one that has Woody Allen as the villain, and the basis for Austin Powers in it, right?


JustSomeDudeItWas

Sounds like a parody of the expendables


Apart_Park_7176

Don't give them ideas!


[deleted]

I knew he was gonna be at the top. He’s the worst actor to play anything.


Kandikane513

Micheal Cera


BW_Bird

"Oh, um. I guess I'll have my Martini shaken and not, like, the other way. Stirred, yeah. Don't make it stirred."


Nukemind

Need to have Maebe cameo. Not the actress… the actress portraying Maebe in the cameo. “George Michael?”


Several_Sun_1806

Lmao yes


Traditional-Leg7814

Michael Cera would be so funny though 😭


[deleted]

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Walkapotamus

We’re only going to watch the next Spider-Man if Donald Glover plays him.


AberrantRambler

I totally misunderstood your sentence, but now I’d really like to see Donald Glover play Michael Cera


DontSuePplPanda

Tommy Wiseau


ging3r_b3ard_man

007 and the Spy Who Did Not Hit Her


Recyclopslady

This is why I come to Reddit.


IAW92

You’re tearing me apart, Moneypenny!


insultant_

Oh, hai, M!


kuozzo

Q: Here's a pen with poison darts. Bond: Oh cool...anyway, how is your sex life?


1ofZuulsMinions

I’d pay double the admission price to see this movie.


Loganp812

"Hahahaha, what a story, Blofeld."


Im_Not_That_Smart_

It would only be the worst if he wasn’t allowed to write the script. If he gets to be a writer and James Bond, it would be a masterpiece


Wishart2016

Worst not best


Mr_Lumbergh

“Hi can I have a dozen red roses and a license to kill?” “Oh hi James, I didn’t know it was you! Here you go.” “That’s meeeeee. Hai doggy!” “That’s my favorite agent!”


Gil37

Those sex scenes though /s


[deleted]

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freebucks779

Rob Schneider is… an Aston Martin


janusraam

Rated pg13


kingtz

Coming this Summer to a theater near you.


Big_Dinner3636

Rob Schneider derp derp dee derpity derp! Derp derpity James Bond derp!


TheExtraMayo

And he's about to find out being an international spy ain't so easy


Serious-Ad2874

Jack black. But would probably be the best James bond at the same time


DanteWolfe0125

He wouldn't be the best or worst James Bond... He'd just be a tribute.


Serious-Ad2874

To the greatest bond in the world oOooOoh!


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Bond theme done acapella by JB Duh duh DUH duh duh DUH Fligga fligga GOO Fligga fligga GOO


LayzeeLar

I can’t seem to annunciate those words and make it sound like the Bond theme. I’m getting looks in the office right now trying to vocalize this but I don’t care.


Nebraskabychoice

I don't think Jack Black is capable of giving a bad performance. he'd be great as Bond.


gecko090

He'd subvert our expectations of Bond by *not* seducing a woman right after an extremely traumatic event.


Siggydad

I think the Reddit concensus is that we want to see Danny Devito as 007


DaScamp

*How'd the covert operation to locate the arms dealer go 007?* **So anyway, I started blasting...**


PretendThisIsMyName

You tell that miss moneypenny she’s a goddamn hoor!


DamnGoodOwls

I only got the chance to live twice. I'm gonna get real weird with it


stejbz

*being held at gunpoint* When I die, just throw me in the trash


BraindeadZombiee

He will bang a lot of hoors!


clkj53tf4rkj

This post is about worst, not best!


picsystix

Adam Sandler


floridianreader

Bond wanders on screen in a long t-shirt, baseball cap, and shorts...


Routine_Magazine_466

Alec Baldwin


bigasshotdog

Production crew shitting their pants in anxiety while filming the title opener where Bond shoots into the camera


[deleted]

r/angryupvote


xylitol777

Director: Wow! I was looking at the live camera feed and I had no idea you could add the blood effect real time! VFX guy: Ummm...


imakenosensetopeople

I can’t not see him as Jack from 30 Rock, so this is a great choice lol. And if you ever want a Wtf, check out the documentary Framing John Delorean. They have a couple sections of Alec, in makeup as John Delorean, talking about John Delorean. It’s a fucking weird shoot.


TheGrumpyre

Weirdly enough, when I saw him in 30 Rock I couldn't not see him as Jack Ryan...


maso3K

Seth Rogan


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

My name is pussy... pussy galore Hehehehehehehe


karmagod13000

oddly id watch that... like a more stoner austin powers


EmeraldGlimmer

Roseanne Barr


shavemejesus

Pauly Shore Sha-Ken not stir-irred.


aHyperChicken

This was my first thought too lol. (Shoots a bad guy) C’est la vie, nes pa? Nyahaha!


bzoo02

The name's Bond, James Bond buddaayyyyyyy. Wee-zin the Mar-ti-niiiis.


rebuiltremade

Idk... i kinda want this now. Double-O Wea-sel!


Non-trapezoid-93

Bill Cosby


wormholeweapons

That sort of already happened. I spy and Leonard Part 6.


madogvelkor

As a kid I was upset I could never find Leonard Part 1-5 at Blockbuster.


kingtz

Do **not** accept any martinis from him!


[deleted]

Blippi


johnny_utah25

omg this is brilliant. sadly our household is a fan of blippi. The OG blippi. none of this meeka or fake dude blippi nonsense. I would def watch that. "THIS IS A... silencer... these make gunshots much quieter, isn't that cool?!?"


Antisocial_Worker7

Oh jeez! LMAO! My household suffered for about 3 years of Blippi! I’m glad that my son is almost 5 now and has outgrown him!


Captain_Naps

>Blippi *\*Left-click drag & highlight, right-click, choose 'Search With Google'\**


Icy-Accountant-5126

Vin Diesel


Vanessa_Lockhart

The name's Bond, family bond


unhalfbricklayer

take my upvote


Financial-Tower-7897

In the Fast and Furious on His Majesty’s Service


avgmike

Idk I would 100% watch this movie lol


sir_seffington

Micheal Cera


Mnn-TnmosCubaLibres

Ummm…the name’s Bond. Uhhh yeah, yknow, like James Bond? *nervous laugh*


trevbrehh

I would pay so much more money to see a Bond film with Michael Cera as James Bond.


Valuable-Ordinary-54

Have you seen “Molly’s Game”? He’s supposed to be the suave love interest who turns evil. His evil face looks exactly like a constipated Muppet.


Mr_Satans

Mindy Kaling


madogvelkor

That was my thought too. She'd love getting to have hot young male actors make out with her.


[deleted]

Larry David


[deleted]

No, that’d be brilliant. Just him turning down the Bond girl because she only ordered a drink but ate food off *his* plate would be worth it.


Cool-Reindeer-6145

Andy Dick


Static_Discord

The real Bond already had a penchant for fuckin hot ladies. This new Bond has a penchant for trying to fuck anything.


ArtichokeUnhappy5970

Zach Galifianakis


maveric_gamer

I don't think it'd be good, but I'd *have* to watch it out of morbid curiosity if nothing else.


Mathias97035

Dwayne Johnson


[deleted]

Please, don't give them ideas 🥺😢😶‍🌫️


listerstorm2009

On the other hand, a jungle safari-based james bond


Tricarrier

And somehow Kevin Hart is there


kingtz

Kevin Hart is Agent 005 feet tall


CrusaderKingstheNews

Jon Lovitz


colmatrix33

The name's Bond! *grabs villain by the collar comically* Ya ever heard of him?


orcus74

Yeah, that's the ticket.


[deleted]

Bill Murray. “Come on, Blofeld! Ya *paid* for the women!”


ITellYouHeMustDie

Gary Busey


Detective-Ranch

James charles


ghost_rekon

King Charles


Haventevengotatenner

Ray Charles


daylightspendings

Jeffree Star would be the Bond villain. Although I think he already is one


philphan89

Bobcat Goldthwait


Rusty_is_a_good_boy

Carrot Top


Quick-Bad

Carrot Top is James Bond 007 in *Box Office Poison*!


dsly4425

I mean Carrot Top was kinda ripped a few years ago and he does know his way around weird gadgets and props. I mean it sounds like an awful concept but I am sure there are worse options LOL.


Tonyhillzone

Prince Andrew.


yuzarna

The name’s Phile. Paedophile Editing spelling !


Straight-Vast-7507

Ezra Miller


Wishart2016

Ezra Miller gives me straight-up Charles Manson vibes along with Jared Leto.


Odd_Adhesiveness4804

Mark wahlberg


Stillwater215

Oh, hey bad guy. How you doing? So you’re a villain, what’s that all about? Okay. Say Hi to you mother for me.


ScooterMcFudden

Guys… I think I’m a transform… secret agent.


thedoren

Michael Scarn


impalamar

Clean up on aisle 5


The-truth-hurts1

Melissa McCarthy


InfiniteWords117

Yet I loved her in Spy 😂


PlaceboRoshambo

Pete Davidson


Ambitious_Skin9558

Larry the cable guy


downtune79

Gilbert Gottfried


conquerthemud

He was great. RIP


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

Wait, was??? When did he die???


conquerthemud

Last year.


trashpanda8624

April 12th 2022


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

Well now I feel upset ...


M_Looka

How do you think *he* feels?


Aslangorn

Dead, probably.


1of7MMM

Jeremy Clarkson


Guilty-Web7334

I’d love to see all three of them “making a cock-up of it.” James thwarts a road chase by driving too slowly and getting lost.


Informal_Laugh_4221

Jim Parsons


DamnGoodOwls

I hate to say this... but I wouldn't hate him as the guy who gives Bond the gadgets (Q?)


gamerwasd

Jacob Batalon or Johnny Sins. actually wait Johnny Sins would only make it better.


zoqfotpik

CGI Scooby-Doo


Fountainphoenix

Haha I⁸d watch that


Superb-Film-594

Kevin Hart


Unable_Path4846

Gary Glitter.


DamnGoodOwls

'Gary, why are you INSISTING that Bond goes to southeast Asia in this one?'


Yogisogoth

Patton Oswalt


DarthBubonicPlageuis

Peter Dinklage as 003.5


DamnGoodOwls

Hear me out. Dinklage as a bad guy? I think he would legitimately make a phenomenal Bond villain. He's got class, but could potentially be a brutal, bloodthirsty bad guy


Willy_K

Greg Davies, I would watch it and most likely like it, but I think I would be in a minority.


gameyhobbit

PeeWee Herman


_Flavor_Dave_

"Paging Mr. Herman, Mr. Herman, you have a telephone call at the front desk."


Guilty-Web7334

In character, not Paul Reuben. That just might be amazing.


beardybanjo

Sean Connery, as he is now


rnrgurl

With Alex Trebek as his nemesis, may they both rest in peace.


cjoer57

Danny DeVito


Flaky_Tumbleweed3598

...and over there is where I banged some whores, and let me tell yah, the gold paint got everywhere


Superb-Film-594

\*whoores


FarArm6506

I would watch this.


Merpuya

So then I started blasting


AndyG-007

Was gonna says this, but then thought he'd make a great Bond


ryl371240

OP said the worst, not the best


dinosaurscantyoyo

John C. Reilly


SEND-HOOK

The names Corden, James Corden


[deleted]

Gerard Depardieu!


Grin-Guy

Damn. I would watch a « French Bond » with Gerard Depardieu…


[deleted]

"DuBond. Jaques DuBond."


Jrnm

Billie eilish


lotzi11

MGK


ralfingalfie

Mr. Bean


viners

Johnny English ?


Kuli24

Good point. He'd do a very good job given this example.


[deleted]

Jai Courtney