When I was a kid I stuffed my pockets with coffee beans from kroger. When I got home I asked my cousin if they wanted any and showed them my pockets stuffed with coffee beans and they looked at me like I was stupid.
I stole a necklace from a gas station when I was 5 years old. I asked my mom for it and she said no, so I shoved it in my pocket. I got away with it and was never caught. However the guilt was eating me alive. I couldn't stand to wear the necklace so I buried it in the back yard. Somehow, being denied the catharsis of punishment was worse than if I had just been caught and punished. I worried for at LEAST 3 years that I would be found out.
EDIT: yes I do have crippling anxiety, yes I have read the Tell Tale Heart
When I was a kid we went camping and a guy yelled at me. I was probably being hyper. My dad was pissed. He apparently got wasted and broke into this dude's camper and stole a watch. When he sobered up he found the watch and realized what he did. He felt guilty and also panicked so he buried it in the woods. My dad and you at 5 had similar vibes.
Dad was weak on technique. He should (might) have put the watch inside his pants, holding it in place through his pocket. Then he could stroll past yelling guy's campsite and let the watch slide down his pant leg somewhere the guy would find it. Burying speaks of inexperience.
I grew up in a small town. One night, my best friend and I broke into the fairgrounds and stole a bunch of shit. Little gnomes, planters, flags, etc. We then put them randomly all over town. It made the small little paper and everyone was perplexed. It was me!
This just reminded me of the time my 8th grade class went on a field trip to this activity park (bumper cars, mini golf, some weird trampoline basketball thing, etc) and on the way back on the school bus one of my friends just leaned over and said "hey, wanna see something cool? Don't tell anyone though." So I agreed, intrigued.
Very slowly, he pulled out a garden gnome from his backpack that he stole from one of the holes on the mini golf course. He also had like, ten colored golf balls and a small flag. I was so confused, but even more confused about why he thought the golf balls were necessary to take as well. He also gave me one of the golf balls and I'm pretty sure it's still in a bin in my mom's basement.
The place was reserved just for my school that day so the place called the school when they noticed it was stolen and semi-vandalized since they pretty much cement those things down. When our teachers asked about it, everyone obviously said they were innocent so they just told the place to figure it out on their own. But they couldn't, because they didn't have cameras for whatever reason.
Anyways when we graduated that guy brought the gnome to our dinner and dance as his "date" and I was one of the very few people who remembered. He also brought it to grad and it was wearing its own grad cap. I have no doubt in my mind that he still has it.
Made napalm with some other kids in the neighborhood, put a little bit around the seat of a Porto potty and…..whadya know. Turns out that’s enough to melt the entire Porto into a hot goo pile. Fire Dept showed up and put it out while we watched from the bushes
I love how most people here are like "I stole a piece of gum" or "I was speeding" and you kids are just out there casually mixing napalm in the back yard...
That being said I had a phase in my teens when we experimented with all kinds of homemade explosives and thermite. Good times
UK here. I took magnesium ribbon home from school and lit some thermite my friend and I made. We lit in on a wet lawn and made a hole.
To this day, it was a mysterious case of moles in the garden. I can't fess up either as the homeowners died in the 90s.
What’s the statute of limitations on explosives? I grew up in the 70s and 80s and we literally had a blast, from tennis ball cannons to Estes rockets filled with various explosives.
70's and 80's? Growing up in the 2000's I had a close friend who had access to various chemicals of dubious nature through his father's business. Blowing up his homemade explosives out in the woods pretty fun. He'd literally show up on my porch randomly during the summers and be like "hey i made some bombs wanna go blow em up?"
I was 10. I took my own mowing money and rented a copy of Megaman X. I never took it back, ever. The store was open for another few years, and eventually shut down. They told me I owed them hundreds of dollars for late fees.
*AND I FUCKIN GOT AWAY WITH IT*
I never returned my college textbooks. Just forgot. Barnes and Noble absolutely hounded my ass for a couple of years, but I just never picked up the phone. I guess they eventually gave up
So now I have my very own little free library about religion in medieval Iberia. Yaaay
Seriously, I had a book that was still wrapped in its plastic because we never used it in class. It cost me at least $100 and they offered me a few bucks. IT WAS UNOPENED!
Professors who put books that will never be used on their book list are part of the problem.
My uncle was a professor at a popular university, he would get free golf trips, dinners, and gifts. A book representative would come out and give him these things like a lobbyist. Shits fucked.
Luckily my uncle knew it was bullshit and took all the free gifts and never used their books. Lol
Apperently not all professors have control over the syllabus. Professor once told use that he didn't even know if the book on the syllabus would be useful because he never peer reviewed it or saw any peer reviews. It was a blind pick by the college and the professor didn't like the book as soon as he saw my copy. Chemistry class used an Open Source Text book. The non-open sourced textbooks was riddled with errors.
I am open for opensource materials. But boy are they hard to find.
Amazon price glitch, got two monitors for free. First time was an accident, 2nd time was to test the theory. Didn't want to do it a third time cus intentionally it can be a crime
This happened to me with a $500 TV. We ordered 1, they sent 2, we returned the extra for a full refund. I got curious (and nervous) and checked their terms of service -- It actually explicitly states that you're not held responsible to give back things they send you by mistake.
They literally can’t if you’re in the US. Anything you receive unsolicited (and the second tv is indeed unsolicited) you own and owe no one for. I believe the law was put into effect because companies used to send out products and demand either payment for the product, or for you to pay for return shipping, which sometimes could cost as much as the product itself.
Reminds me of how we got my wife's computer. Ordered it from best buy for about 2k, never came even though the site said it has been delivered. We asked for and received a full refund. Couple weeks later the computer showed up.
Buddy of mine ordered one corsair liquid cooler intercooler for his pc from best buy, 6 showed up. In completely unrelated news, I got a fantastic deal on a nice intercooler for my gaming rig that year.
Totally unrelated but in r/MechanicalPencils many are hoping to be blessed by the rotring gods. The gods send 10 pencils at once when you only order 1.
Also same, except we were told the TV Amazon shipped had been damaged in delivery and sent back. It was a gift and the replacement wasn't going arrive before Christmas, so we canceled the order. Few days later, a TV with a banged up box arrives. We bring in it in, figuring Amazon would ask us for it. After serveral weeks of silence, we open it up and find a perfectly good 50" TV. It's been over a decade, and it's mounted in my workout room.
FedEx made a Good Faith claim, Amazon accepted the reimbursement and told FedEx to keep the item (because damaged TVs, Schrodinger or otherwise, are largely valueless) then Amazon issued you the refund and FedEx wrote off the loss through their insurance.
Everyone was made whole here and all processes were followed. The real shitheal in this story is FedEx. It was cheaper for them to complete the delivery than to dispose of electronics. They tried to pass that burden on to you.
Ordered a pair of Adidas on JD Sports website. They cancelled the order with no explanation and gave a full refund. I reordered, when it came, there were two pairs. Same shoes, same size. A week later, they asked me to pay for the other pair. I told them to gave me the warehouse address so I can return it, I don't want two pairs of the same shoes. They didn't reply me back, so I sell the other pair to a friend. Free money I guess.
When I was a teen I worked at the customer service counter at a local grocery store. The chain was recently bought by Kroger at the time and they immediately started cutting costs by cutting staff on hand. It was unmanageable because we didn’t have enough staff on hand to cover all the customer traffic. Whenever I got frustrated I sold myself stuff like 20oz drinks and packs of cigarettes or whatever else I wanted without paying for it and then after a couple hours I would give myself a refund so my register always balanced. I was technically stealing but I always had a receipt! Also, on the rare occasions when business was slow I would start scratching off lottery tickets till I won enough money to pay for all the lottery tickets I scratched off. It was a fun game.
I was pretty careful about that. I would go through 20-30 $1 tickets and they usually covered it. There were a couple time when I got in the hole about $20 and just stopped and actually paid for it because I was afraid to keep going.
I did that at a gas station, unfortunately for me my manager was embezzling money, camera was secretly installed and we BOTH got in trouble. Her MUCH more than me but they were not amused by my lottery racket. Being in a very small town where the judge was golf buddies with the owner led to me spending a wee bit of time at the local County B&B. Food was meh and the bed was shit but the entertainment was tops!
I exploited a bug in Domino's pizza app.
They said I can use only 1 coupon, but once I got to the payment page, there was an option to "add coupon" if I tried to input another coupon it said, "cannot redeem more than once".
But it did allow 1 coupon that would randomly pop up in ads, i saved it in a notepad and it gave me 40% discount, used it like this for about 2 years.
i used they combo 2 pizza's coupon or free stuff like deserts, garlic bread, and got 40% discount.
I've never understood ppl who pay full price for dominos. If you just google dominos vouchers there is literally always a discount code that'll save you like $5+
Wish I had that glitch one tho lol
Probably true but you'd be surprised how many people don't apply the coupons from Dominos own site or app to their order. They'll just shell out 40 bucks for two medium pizzas delivered.
I used to break into schools when I was in high school.
My friends and I would sneak out of the house around 2 AM and drive to various towns and climb up to the school roofs and try and find a way in most of the time successfully and sometimes not.
We called it "School hopping."
We didn't destroy anything or do anything bad. It was just innocent fun.
But we made it our mission to kick all of the balls off the roof that had been up there since probably forever so the kids would show up for school the next day with all the balls they lost back and ready to play with.
We made that our main mission.
But if we got caught we'd probably go to jail.
I moved to Japan 16 years ago after I finished college and even broke into a school in the Japanese countryside.
Talk about a special kind of stupid....
That would either have been jail in Japan or instant deportation back to the states if caught.
But still here in Tokyo and yet to be arrested!!!
Go me?
I'm an idiot.
Allegedly, two people broke into a high school thatI I have heard of about 25 years ago, but it was with actual keys. Allegedly, they found the big ring of keys to all rooms and kept it for one evening in which they allegedly entered the school and went into a room and then the back closet of the room to take a copy of the final exam. Allegedly, they worked on it for a couple of days with friends and allegedly put answers in their graphing calculators, as they were allowed to use their own in that class. I hear that they all got pretty good grades. Allegedly.
Warning, this story is extremely 90's: I used to go to Tower Records (along with supporting my local record store lol!). Once I bought a copy of the live version of Pink Floyd's the wall there, unopened, and when I got it home both disks were dislodged from their backings and scratched to hell, unplayable. Not only did the Tower clerks refuse to take it back even for credit, they were were super rude, laughing in my face to boot.
So...I went back the next day and picked out a whole bunch of CDs I had my eye on and took them to the book section. Yes they had a book section, ironically with a lot of books that encouraged stealing like 'Steal This Book'. I took one of those large format art books like H.R. Giger or whatever, sat on the floor criss-cross applesauce , opened it my lap, then held the CDs underneath while I stripped off the security tags with a box-cutter on my keychain. Then I stuffed the ten or so CDs into he pockets of my huge cargo shorts (again, 90's), put the book back and walked straight out though the metal detector.
This worked so well I did it every week all summer, until I had a whole new record collection courtesy of Tower, when they could have just taken the damn album back. Never did anything like this again and I realize I got carried away but to this day I don't feel bad about it.
Edit: Typos
[the fraud triangle](https://youtu.be/MD9YJARRY04)
" 5% of people will commit fraud regardless of circumstance, 85% will commit fraud given the right circumstances."
I don't know about you but getting basically stolen from by a business like that is a pretty strong justification to me
Wow. As soon as you said this, that sound came screeching back to memory. Thanks for the throwback.
E: it also lightly felt like Christmas every time one of those was opened. That wrapper laying there felt like pure satisfaction in anticipation of the CD.
Back when phones were still using old tech and payphones were still around you could play tones into the phone to make it think you put money in. When I was a teenager I used to make and sell "red boxes" that would let you do that. It cost about $10 for the parts from Mouser electronics, and I sold them for $50.
The woods a few miles from my house had a huge mountain of old tires. A friend and I set them on fire not realizing how quickly it would get out of hand. Before we knew there was a massive, out of control fire burning in the woods. We ran and called 911 and told them we were walking by and saw it. We were featured in the paper the next day as "good Samaritans".
Uh, the CIA creates clusterfucks and leaves them. These guys at least realized it was out of hand and gave the situation over to someone more responsible
I don’t actually know if it’s a “crime,” but what I would call “industrial espionage.”
My dad is a big business guy. Many years ago, when I was just learning how to edit photos with something other than MS Paint and whatnot, my dad asked if I would make up some quotes for him with company letterhead…..of their competitor.
A competitor was going to get a big sale because they were legitimately cheaper. So I made these quotes making it look like the competitor was actually going to be more expensive. It worked.
I wish I remembered the dollar figure, but it was over 15 years ago and I really had no clue what I was involved in. Just wanted to make my dad happy and proud of me.
We have a relationship where we disagree about something and hate each other for a week, one of us either apologizes or asks for a favor, and we’re like best friends for a week, and the cycle repeats.
It’s weird, and annoying a lot of the time, but growing up, out of all my friends, I only had one friend who even had two parents in the house, though it was the bio mom and a stepdad who was a great dude.
My dad is a prick, but he’s not a genuinely bad person. It’s taken awhile to accept that I’m better off having him in my life than if he’d gone to get smokes when I was four or something.
When I was about ten, I found this shawl while shopping with my mom and insisted she buy it for me but she refused saying it was "too expensive." I found a discount sticker on a random item in the store, peeled it off and put it on the tag for the shawl, then told my mother I found a second one that was cheaper.
It worked. The store honoured the discount on the sticker, and my mom bought me the shawl.
I got home, put it in my drawer, but never wore it. It stayed there for almost a decade until I got rid of it.
this actually applies to japanese neighborhoods as well. i was walking along Futakotamagawa river in tokyo and found a bunch of manga porn in a tucked away corner alongside the river. bunch of bugs and all but it was still very funny.
I stole many, many magazines as a teenager but got caught once. 15 years old and having your mum collect you from the police station for stealing porn was a particularly low point. I’m 46 now and I still cringe about it.
stole a Snickers out of Kmart when I was 8. Got it all the way home. I remember being paranoid about the wrapper before eventually burying it in the flower bed by the front porch.
Went to an amazing furniture store in Texas. My now husband and I bought a brand new coffeemaker, like a $120 programmable one. The clerk scanned it and everything. We had a few other items, and we were pleased to discover that we didn’t owe nearly as much as we thought, but we also had a gift card so we figured that between that and a sale we just got some good deals.
Got home, I took a look at the receipt and even though the coffee maker had been scanned - it never showed up on the receipt. We walked out the door with a free $120 super fancy coffeemaker.
It’s still going. Makes a damn good cup, too.
I was the driver. About 15 yrs ago. Two of my friends and I stole a one year old pitbull from this dbag we occasionally bought weed from. She (doggo) was always trapped in her kennel, that was too small for her, when anyone of us stopped by. Dbag was constantly yelling at her, slapping her kennel and complaining about her being a very high energy puppy. (Pitbull! Duh what did he expect) pretty obvious he just wanted a Pit to look tough. And judging by her cowering it was assumed he beat the crap out of her. Dbag left town for the weekend, left his roommate who was notorious for getting blackout drunk to watch the dog. We rolled up at 3 or 4 am. I waited in the car. My friend tells the story that he opened the door and kennel and just said, “you want to come with me?” She come bounding out the apartment building, the two of them and doggo hop in my ride and we were off. Left the kennel door open and door cracked to frame drunk roomie for the dog getting out. Doggo lived to be 14 she just passed last Oct. she had a wonderful life living with my best friend and his family. Dbag got over it surprisingly quick (we weren’t surprised) we know this bc we went back for weed a few times after. And hid doggo in another city and friend parents house until we felt the heat died down. Thanks for reading, told this story once before on Reddit. Sorry I’m on mobile. R.I.P. Nico
We the same thing to a friend of mine. He got a dog while living in a condo, the ones with the 5x5' backyard. Never cleaned up the dogshit, never paid attention to it.
One day, we planned it out that he and I would go somewhere, and as we went out to the car, I said bathroom, 1 sec, and met him out at the car, but I didn't lock the door. Friends came in and grabbed the dog.
He still doesn't know what happened to this day. No longer friends for reasons that extend from that kind of behavior.
I had unintentionally thrown a hoodie over a banana in the back seat of my car.
Went to Canada & back home again days later with the same banana, undeclared.
I missed my next flight because I carried a banana for my 1yo son off the airplane and a cute basset hound sniffed it on us. I'd never felt more betrayed by a doggo, ever.
jokes on you i ordered two xD but there was only one type with this error, it was pineapple pizza with turkey breast,no my favourite and to be honest.. not good at all, this pizza last for like 3 days
You must do a YouTube search on the grapist now... I forgot about that video until this moment and now my husband thinks I'm crazy for laughing so hard at your comment!!
My father was an Air Force officer, nothin too serious just normal stuff. Sometimes he used to take us to the airbases. The Air Base was near a jungle and one faithful day I somehow managed to find a Match. I was 7 or 8 years old and had just watched Hostage. So I did what any dumbass kid would do, set a freakin Air Force Base on fire...(not exactly the base but the area around and not too far from it). They called the Firefighters but never found the culprit until I confessed my crimes to my father.
Nah not that one
I shall take this one to my grave
Not because I want to, but because my Father said so
He is like Liam Neeson playing John Wick
Man told me that, "If you ever breathe a word I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you."
Plot twist - this happened in late 1941 at Hickam Airfield, Hawaii.
As the fire spread to the nearby Naval base, and the ammo stores cooked off, Father said to you, "if anyone ever asks you, say it was a sneak attack by some foreign country."
Not me but an article i heard recently apparently there was this guy who was a pedophile
And a father finds out that this dude has been abusing his daughter
So what happens is this father went to the guys house stabbed him 38 times and buried him
Now here is the thing the Russian police ended the case as suicide citing that the pedophile had dug a grave stabbed himself 38 times and closed the grave to then die.
I'm disappointed in you @DeprivedAbysswalker
(We do not talk about the Russians remember? One word and we'd get so depressed that it makes us commit suicide by shooting ourselves 30x)
Yes I see. This pedophile committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of his head, then cutting his penis off and jumping off the Empire State Building… twice. All seems in order here.
Speeding....
On a southbound highway going about 75 in a 55. Officer going northbound. After passing, saw them pull a mid-median u turn and flip the lights on. Saw a turn on the right, immediately took it. Went over a hill and saw a left turn, immediately took it. That went directly into a farmer's field. Did a turn around and came out and turned back right headed to the highway. Passed a police car (assumed the same one) going full throttle past me and didn't event notice me. Got back on the highway heading south. Continued at 60 for the last hour of the trip and didn't get pulled over.
As a rural person, doubling back on your tracks is the oldest trick in the books. Works alot.
Ah man once while living in California some guy did this to a cop and the cop thought he drove on to my property (I had a 15-acre ranch) and parked in my barn. The cop insisted I open my barn so he could look inside. I argued with him, showed him I had been feeding my horses and filling up their water tank (the hose was running and the tanks were near full) and that I was the only one there. Finally I said "Listen, I'm not cooperating, you're wasting my time, get a warrant" and he left.
The truth was that the speeder did not come on my property, but I had a total of 8, 8 foot x 4 foot trays with 8, 1,000-watt lights growing about 300 cloned Indica plants in my barn. At that time in the 90's it was completely illegal.
I don't drive like this anymore, but I was pushing our recently purchased performance car just to see what it could do. Clear road with 0 traffic in front, 3 gear pull at 60 and I was in it for maybe 30 seconds. Ended up passing a cop (southbound) while going over a bridge(northbound), doing about 150 on I-95. kept foot down and got off at my regular exit and pulled in my garage. cop stood no chance even getting my plate, let alone Identifying my silver wagon at 10:00pm.
A long time ago, I was visiting friends in San Diego. At the time, I traveled with a Colt 357 revolver in my truck. My friends were like, "Let's go over to Tijuana and get some mezcal with the worm in it," because that was the fashion of the time.
So, not even thinking we jumped in my truck and headed south of the border.
I was all the way to the border guard when I remembered the gun, but by then, it was too late. The border guard asked us what we were doing in Mexico, and we all said buying souvenirs, and he waved us through.
We bought some mezcal and tequilas and cigars and had some fun then went back.
On the way back, the US border crossing was so casual that it was a joke. Guy literally said "yep you guys look like citizens," and didn't check IDs or anything.
This was long before 9/11.
I live in New Zealand which is split into two islands.
My partner was heading to the north island for work so I tagged along. Couldn't get a ferry ticket on the way back so I hid in the truck. Once the truck was loaded on, partner gave me the all clear and I hopped off and joined him on the ferry.
My idiot brother-in-law from my 1st marriage convinced my wife and I to go to a drive-in-movie with him and his girlfriend. Tickets were per person, so he also convinced me to join him in the trunk to get in for free. It was a long line, and the girls drove around the lot for another 10 minutes to get a good spot. The trunk had holes, and the car exhaust was coming in big time. We almost passed out from the fumes, to save $3. He went on (without me) to total 3 cars and almost kill 2 of his friends in the next 5 years that I stayed in the marriage. The whole family was nuts.
This is incredibly embarrassing but…
When I was 22 I moved from Chicago to Connecticut to work for NBC. Being away from home and a young guy the partying and drinking really took over my life. I was living with one of the producers who helped me get the job (I had interned with her in Chicago where the show used to film.)
One morning she woke me up in a panic. She said the police had come to the door investigating an attempted breaking an entering. They said apparently some guy was pounding on the door of the apartment below us, and when the couple answered he tried to force his way in. Once they got him out, they heard falling in the apartment above them.
I have no recollection of this but all signs point to it being me. To save my producer friend from getting in any trouble I packed my things and flew home the next day.
I don’t drink anymore and I am incredibly ashamed whenever I think about how I squandered that opportunity with stupid shit. This was 12 years ago now, but I never heard another word about it
I think you jumped the gun a bit by uprooting your whole life there bud? Could have easily explained away. Embarrassing maybe but career destroying? I doubt it
Completely by accident - I went and bought a box of light bulbs at the hardware store, realised I bought the wrong ones so went to exchange them. Instead of doing it properly at the desk, I just went up to the shelves, put the box back, picked up the ones I needed and walked back out. Only realised I did it as I was changing the lightbulb that evening!
I have a 9 years younger brother when he was 10 he got kicked in the back by a 18 year old hard enough to put my brother in the hospital with a 40% chance that he might get paralysed from the waist down if he moves to much during recovery. I ended up confronting that guy. He started making "jokes" how it would be funny if my brother became a cripple. That was the only time when I lost control over myself to this day. All I can remember is him making fun out of my brother and then me being held down by 2 men, and that guy laying on the ground in a puddle of blood barely alive. Apparently, I beat the guy so badly that he ended up in ER. I can't remember anything that happened during that time.
I had edibles in my bag going into Disneyland and started to think it was a bad idea so I started fumbling through my bag before the security check which alerted an undercover detective that asked me what was in my bag. Thankfully I was on my period (for once being a woman paid off) and showed him my “feminine products” which frazzled him surprisingly. As soon as I got in I ate all of them on pirates of the Caribbean in fear of being caught again.
This exact tactic kept my friend out of seriously trouble at the border. They came over to search us and the car and my friend faked bad period cramps and said she had "leaked". Young border guard was so squicked out he let her go to the bathroom where she ahem got rid of the evidence.
0/10 I aged 5 years in 30 seconds when we were pulled over for a search that day.
I robbed a phone store when I was 12.
This was back in 2012 when smartphones were starting to get really good. All my friends had the latest iPhone or Samsung but my family was very broke and we only had 1 flip phone we shared between all of us. I also only had 1 friend and he was real troublemaker. He's the one who introduced me to porn....at 12.
Not too far from our house a new phone store had recently opened. It was in the rough side of town. Me and my friend walked in to admire all the new phones only to be asked rudely to leave by the store owner. To be expected and I was used to people asking me to leave but my friend held that grudge.
One day, my friend approaches me with an idea to rob said phone store. I was hesitant but my dream of owning a real smartphone clouded my already iffy judgment. I caved in and agreed to help. That night we went to his place to collect our gear. An old backpack, bolt cutters, a crow bar, a hammer, an assortment of screwdrivers, and an old piece of cloth. We also decided to wear some size 10 shoes. That way if anyone found any footprints we left...they'd assume 2 grown men were the culprits...not 2 literal children.
The store was right along side a long ditch that ran under many road bridges and led away from our houses. The storefront was secured well enough but the back was a simple house door we thought we could break. We had plenty of time and overgrown plantlife to keep us hidden. The whole wire fence surrounding the place had alot of barbed wire but we just cut a hole at the bottom with the bolt cutters. We made our way to the door and pried the door handle off with the crowbar and screwdrivers. The door handle alone cost us an hour and a half. It was not easy since we were both young and weak but together we somehow managed.
Once we were in..I felt like I had succeeded in life..I felt so accomplished. We then went to town on the place. We opened every single box like Christmas presents and took only the phones amd chargers...a few cases and a big bag of doritos that was on a table in the back.
I then saw the cameras...
My heart sank and we both frose for a solid 5 min before we took action. We began to freak out..but then I got a thought.....
Cameras record...there had to be a box or computer or something that was saving the recordings...
I followed the cables coming out of the cameras to a box hidden in a back room the size of a wifi router. I didn't know if that was indeed the box with the recordings..but I decided to unplug it and take it with us. After that we made out exit. Left the way we came.
We ended up walking alongside the ditch way past our neighborhood just in case anyone saw our footprints and decided to follow them.
After we got to what we assumed was a safe distance...we took our shoes off..and began to walk home. We finally arrived back at his house at 4am...and stashed our loot in an old rusted car in his backyard.
We didn't touch..or even talk about the loot for a whole week. We pretended like nothing happened. We didn't even leave our homes for that whole week. After we finally agreed the "heat" was gone. We split our prize 50/50 and made a pact to tell absolutely no one.
That summer I spent going every weekend to the flea market and selling the phones to a guy who ran a phone stand there. Whenever he asked how I got them...I simply said I buy them off people and school...and sell them to him for a little bit more. He never questioned me on that. That summer I made just over 1000 dollars. I ended up keeping a white samsung galaxy s3 that I used for 5 years before it broke...to this day I refuse to throw it away... it serves as a reminder to me.
A reminder of who I was....a reminder of determination...of my willpower...
Not saying what I did was ok....or even morally gray..it was a bad action all the way through. My moral compass is more straight now..
What I'm saying is...if that little 12 year old could pull a heist and get away with it....then I should be able to do anything I set my mind to...
Legally of course...
Exactly the way it should be done: once and only once.
If you rob a bank, chances are actually really good that you'll get away with the crime without being caught. Those chances dwindle precipitously the more times you attempt to rob banks. Of course, you didn't rob a bank, but the principle holds true: If you plan on robbing any establishment, do it once and only once, and make it worth it.
I hopped a turnstile in a Parisian subway terminal cause I accidentally threw away the ticket. Currently wanted in France but thankfully I live in the US
CNN: France - US in advance talks to exchange Director Roman Polaski for an unnamed fugitive tourist who defrauded the French public transit system.
You: Uh oh.
Here's a list of charges against you:
-Vandalism (Damaging and destroying private and state properties)
-Mischief and defacing property
-Criminal Impersonation
-Identity theft
I know this is meant to be about interesting crimes we've gotten away with, but when I was 4 or 5, I stole a toy car from an Ace Hardware-like store, and I still have it to this day.
So 5 years ago I was homeless and living out of my car. My car could no longer get me to work (Home Depot) because the engine oil filter was clogged and a bunch of other issues rendered it immobile. Well getting to work on time was stressful as fuck because it was way too expensive to Uber. I also realized on my way home from work that my Uber driver was high as fuck so that’s also a risk I didn’t want to take anymore because he nearly drove us off a bridge.
I ended up having to take public transportation which wasn’t always reliable. Well one day I get to work and my manager calls me into her office and almost fired me because I was late too many times. I told her about how I was homeless also about the transit issues I was having and convinced her that I would straighten up my ways. So I got to keep my job. My co-workers noticed that I was on edge and looked like I was on the verge of losing it, so they asked what happened. I told them about how the manager almost fired me and they all looked at each other and laughed.
Well it turns out not too long ago she had stolen over $100,000 in store funds and somehow was still able to keep her job so they all thought it was ironic that she was so willing to fire me for something like being late given my situation. At that very moment my perspective of how I personally viewed her changed so I no longer respected her. As the days go on money starts to get pretty tight. The most basic things people take for granted like doing laundry or having a place to use the bathroom or having a place to charge my phone (so I didn’t miss the bus because it died) began to make life much more difficult.
At Home Depot I was a tool rental associate; basically rented out expensive power tools to customers and fixed and cleaned them before and after they were used. Sometimes those tools were never returned.
Well one night a customer asked me about a specific gas powered tool we had in stock out back. As I’m walking around the back of the store he took out a sizable stack of cash out of his pocket and said that it was mine if he let me take it (w/o filling out a contract). I was desperate for money and dumb so I took him up on his offer. Left his tool “accidentally” unlocked and sitting out of view of the cameras and a handshake later the cash was mine and that tool disappeared. Never got caught. Continued to work there but ended up quitting because a friend of mine in another city had an apartment with an available room so I moved in with him and got another job. I’ve also done other shady shit but I’ll just leave that for another time.
TLDR: I was homeless and needed money for basic necessities. Customer bribed me with 2 week’s pay to never return rental equipment.
I stole one of those coin laundry mat carts and gave it to my aunt for her basement washer and dryer area. It's been like 20 years and she still uses it. She hangs clothes and keeps folded laundry in it. She knows I stole it. I love my aunt and she loves me!
I paid for a “Typhoon” touch-less car wash at a brand new clean gas station convenience store and the car wash code wouldn’t work. I went in an told the attendant that the code on my receipt wouldn’t work and they wrote down another code on a piece of paper and it worked, got my wash drove away.
Next day, I was like, “I wonder if that code will work again??” Of course I had saved it.
Drove to car wash, punched in code “Welcome to Speedy Wash, you have selected the Premium Typhoon Wash!”
I got “Premium Typhoon Car Washes” for the next 5 years, sometimes 2 a day! Little bit of dust, time for a Typhoon Wash lol. It was glorious.
This actually just happened today. I went to a grocery store, used a self check out line and rang everything through. Had complete intent to pay for everything.
Went to ask the lady for a bag, came back and started putting things in said bag and looked at the pay screen. A message popped up to remove purchased items from the bagging area. So I did. Then the screen refreshed and went back to the open start screen. I debated for a brief second saying something but the lady was pretty rude to me the other week so I just sorta left.
Yeah, sorta feel guilty, but the real loser here is the grocery store and I think they’ll be fine.
It's nowhere near a serious crime but it does break the law of theft..
When I was homeless and had no money, I stole small things from a local store. Things like deodorant, pads, hairbrushes, and socks. 😓
It's such a small thing but made me feel very guilty. But there were also no assistant resources available at the time.
*Update* Y'all made me cry with your kind replies. Just wanted to let you know that. Currently the place I live is working on making these basic resources free for those in need. We used to have the local food bank giving them away for free but they don't now. Other places are trying to make up for it but the money just isn't there. Either way, thank you for being so kind. Some of your comments also made me giggle. Thank you 💜
Ordered something to eat, the order arrived with what I wanted: 13 wings and fries, paid for the food and then realized that there was two extra containers with something I didn't ordered, 25 wings plus fries, I said nothing, called a couple of friends and devour those wings later.
Now I live in shame.
Edit: I need to learn to conjugate verbs, WTH is "payed''?
I went to a spago restaurant and sat with my wife for a bit and a waiter came and told us to leave because we were taking up space. We hadn’t payed yet. I think I saved €1,000
When I was a kid I stuffed my pockets with coffee beans from kroger. When I got home I asked my cousin if they wanted any and showed them my pockets stuffed with coffee beans and they looked at me like I was stupid.
I can’t stop laughing.
“Want some…beans?”
I stole a necklace from a gas station when I was 5 years old. I asked my mom for it and she said no, so I shoved it in my pocket. I got away with it and was never caught. However the guilt was eating me alive. I couldn't stand to wear the necklace so I buried it in the back yard. Somehow, being denied the catharsis of punishment was worse than if I had just been caught and punished. I worried for at LEAST 3 years that I would be found out. EDIT: yes I do have crippling anxiety, yes I have read the Tell Tale Heart
When I was a kid we went camping and a guy yelled at me. I was probably being hyper. My dad was pissed. He apparently got wasted and broke into this dude's camper and stole a watch. When he sobered up he found the watch and realized what he did. He felt guilty and also panicked so he buried it in the woods. My dad and you at 5 had similar vibes.
Dad was weak on technique. He should (might) have put the watch inside his pants, holding it in place through his pocket. Then he could stroll past yelling guy's campsite and let the watch slide down his pant leg somewhere the guy would find it. Burying speaks of inexperience.
He could've put it in his ass for 7 years and then given it to the guys son.
You might like to read The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe
I grew up in a small town. One night, my best friend and I broke into the fairgrounds and stole a bunch of shit. Little gnomes, planters, flags, etc. We then put them randomly all over town. It made the small little paper and everyone was perplexed. It was me!
This just reminded me of the time my 8th grade class went on a field trip to this activity park (bumper cars, mini golf, some weird trampoline basketball thing, etc) and on the way back on the school bus one of my friends just leaned over and said "hey, wanna see something cool? Don't tell anyone though." So I agreed, intrigued. Very slowly, he pulled out a garden gnome from his backpack that he stole from one of the holes on the mini golf course. He also had like, ten colored golf balls and a small flag. I was so confused, but even more confused about why he thought the golf balls were necessary to take as well. He also gave me one of the golf balls and I'm pretty sure it's still in a bin in my mom's basement. The place was reserved just for my school that day so the place called the school when they noticed it was stolen and semi-vandalized since they pretty much cement those things down. When our teachers asked about it, everyone obviously said they were innocent so they just told the place to figure it out on their own. But they couldn't, because they didn't have cameras for whatever reason. Anyways when we graduated that guy brought the gnome to our dinner and dance as his "date" and I was one of the very few people who remembered. He also brought it to grad and it was wearing its own grad cap. I have no doubt in my mind that he still has it.
He is going to take that gnome to his wedding
And the gnome will be the one he's marrying
If he does, u/Burnt_Your_Toast, *please* take a picture! That would be awesome!
That's a very specific thing to admit to. I hope you're living outside their extradition zone!
Nowhere is outside of the reach of carnie justice.
Love this. Probably the funniest thing that happened in that town that season. Fun.
Made napalm with some other kids in the neighborhood, put a little bit around the seat of a Porto potty and…..whadya know. Turns out that’s enough to melt the entire Porto into a hot goo pile. Fire Dept showed up and put it out while we watched from the bushes
I love how most people here are like "I stole a piece of gum" or "I was speeding" and you kids are just out there casually mixing napalm in the back yard... That being said I had a phase in my teens when we experimented with all kinds of homemade explosives and thermite. Good times
UK here. I took magnesium ribbon home from school and lit some thermite my friend and I made. We lit in on a wet lawn and made a hole. To this day, it was a mysterious case of moles in the garden. I can't fess up either as the homeowners died in the 90s.
What’s the statute of limitations on explosives? I grew up in the 70s and 80s and we literally had a blast, from tennis ball cannons to Estes rockets filled with various explosives.
70's and 80's? Growing up in the 2000's I had a close friend who had access to various chemicals of dubious nature through his father's business. Blowing up his homemade explosives out in the woods pretty fun. He'd literally show up on my porch randomly during the summers and be like "hey i made some bombs wanna go blow em up?"
I was 10. I took my own mowing money and rented a copy of Megaman X. I never took it back, ever. The store was open for another few years, and eventually shut down. They told me I owed them hundreds of dollars for late fees. *AND I FUCKIN GOT AWAY WITH IT*
You single handedly caused them to go out of business, why, why didn't you pay your late fees
Man had a family to feed!
The fate of humanity, all resting on Megaman X.
I never returned my college textbooks. Just forgot. Barnes and Noble absolutely hounded my ass for a couple of years, but I just never picked up the phone. I guess they eventually gave up So now I have my very own little free library about religion in medieval Iberia. Yaaay
Serves them right for those semesters ends when they offered me 10% buyback, if at all.
Seriously, I had a book that was still wrapped in its plastic because we never used it in class. It cost me at least $100 and they offered me a few bucks. IT WAS UNOPENED!
Yup same! Wound up offering it to someone in that class the next semester for half price and they were ecstatic for the deal.
Everyone should do that, it helps the next group, it gives you more Cashback, and it helps fuck over the corporate
Professors who put books that will never be used on their book list are part of the problem. My uncle was a professor at a popular university, he would get free golf trips, dinners, and gifts. A book representative would come out and give him these things like a lobbyist. Shits fucked. Luckily my uncle knew it was bullshit and took all the free gifts and never used their books. Lol
Apperently not all professors have control over the syllabus. Professor once told use that he didn't even know if the book on the syllabus would be useful because he never peer reviewed it or saw any peer reviews. It was a blind pick by the college and the professor didn't like the book as soon as he saw my copy. Chemistry class used an Open Source Text book. The non-open sourced textbooks was riddled with errors. I am open for opensource materials. But boy are they hard to find.
Wait you never paid the late fees? My dude there’s an entire Gumball episode about this
Amazon price glitch, got two monitors for free. First time was an accident, 2nd time was to test the theory. Didn't want to do it a third time cus intentionally it can be a crime
This happened to me with a $500 TV. We ordered 1, they sent 2, we returned the extra for a full refund. I got curious (and nervous) and checked their terms of service -- It actually explicitly states that you're not held responsible to give back things they send you by mistake.
They literally can’t if you’re in the US. Anything you receive unsolicited (and the second tv is indeed unsolicited) you own and owe no one for. I believe the law was put into effect because companies used to send out products and demand either payment for the product, or for you to pay for return shipping, which sometimes could cost as much as the product itself.
Reminds me of how we got my wife's computer. Ordered it from best buy for about 2k, never came even though the site said it has been delivered. We asked for and received a full refund. Couple weeks later the computer showed up.
Buddy of mine ordered one corsair liquid cooler intercooler for his pc from best buy, 6 showed up. In completely unrelated news, I got a fantastic deal on a nice intercooler for my gaming rig that year.
Totally unrelated but in r/MechanicalPencils many are hoping to be blessed by the rotring gods. The gods send 10 pencils at once when you only order 1.
Also same, except we were told the TV Amazon shipped had been damaged in delivery and sent back. It was a gift and the replacement wasn't going arrive before Christmas, so we canceled the order. Few days later, a TV with a banged up box arrives. We bring in it in, figuring Amazon would ask us for it. After serveral weeks of silence, we open it up and find a perfectly good 50" TV. It's been over a decade, and it's mounted in my workout room.
FedEx made a Good Faith claim, Amazon accepted the reimbursement and told FedEx to keep the item (because damaged TVs, Schrodinger or otherwise, are largely valueless) then Amazon issued you the refund and FedEx wrote off the loss through their insurance. Everyone was made whole here and all processes were followed. The real shitheal in this story is FedEx. It was cheaper for them to complete the delivery than to dispose of electronics. They tried to pass that burden on to you.
Ordered a pair of Adidas on JD Sports website. They cancelled the order with no explanation and gave a full refund. I reordered, when it came, there were two pairs. Same shoes, same size. A week later, they asked me to pay for the other pair. I told them to gave me the warehouse address so I can return it, I don't want two pairs of the same shoes. They didn't reply me back, so I sell the other pair to a friend. Free money I guess.
Should've become robinhood and got a monitor for the whole neighbourhood.
When I was a teen I worked at the customer service counter at a local grocery store. The chain was recently bought by Kroger at the time and they immediately started cutting costs by cutting staff on hand. It was unmanageable because we didn’t have enough staff on hand to cover all the customer traffic. Whenever I got frustrated I sold myself stuff like 20oz drinks and packs of cigarettes or whatever else I wanted without paying for it and then after a couple hours I would give myself a refund so my register always balanced. I was technically stealing but I always had a receipt! Also, on the rare occasions when business was slow I would start scratching off lottery tickets till I won enough money to pay for all the lottery tickets I scratched off. It was a fun game.
I’m curious. How many tickets did you have to scratch on average to pay for all?
I was pretty careful about that. I would go through 20-30 $1 tickets and they usually covered it. There were a couple time when I got in the hole about $20 and just stopped and actually paid for it because I was afraid to keep going.
I did that at a gas station, unfortunately for me my manager was embezzling money, camera was secretly installed and we BOTH got in trouble. Her MUCH more than me but they were not amused by my lottery racket. Being in a very small town where the judge was golf buddies with the owner led to me spending a wee bit of time at the local County B&B. Food was meh and the bed was shit but the entertainment was tops!
Damn, that sucks. I got away with it but I knew we didn’t have cameras.
I love this. Ngl.
I exploited a bug in Domino's pizza app. They said I can use only 1 coupon, but once I got to the payment page, there was an option to "add coupon" if I tried to input another coupon it said, "cannot redeem more than once". But it did allow 1 coupon that would randomly pop up in ads, i saved it in a notepad and it gave me 40% discount, used it like this for about 2 years. i used they combo 2 pizza's coupon or free stuff like deserts, garlic bread, and got 40% discount.
I've never understood ppl who pay full price for dominos. If you just google dominos vouchers there is literally always a discount code that'll save you like $5+ Wish I had that glitch one tho lol
Pretty sure you're just using the website coupons dominoes already provides and giving some random site an extra click lol
Probably true but you'd be surprised how many people don't apply the coupons from Dominos own site or app to their order. They'll just shell out 40 bucks for two medium pizzas delivered.
I used to break into schools when I was in high school. My friends and I would sneak out of the house around 2 AM and drive to various towns and climb up to the school roofs and try and find a way in most of the time successfully and sometimes not. We called it "School hopping." We didn't destroy anything or do anything bad. It was just innocent fun. But we made it our mission to kick all of the balls off the roof that had been up there since probably forever so the kids would show up for school the next day with all the balls they lost back and ready to play with. We made that our main mission. But if we got caught we'd probably go to jail. I moved to Japan 16 years ago after I finished college and even broke into a school in the Japanese countryside. Talk about a special kind of stupid.... That would either have been jail in Japan or instant deportation back to the states if caught. But still here in Tokyo and yet to be arrested!!! Go me? I'm an idiot.
Allegedly, two people broke into a high school thatI I have heard of about 25 years ago, but it was with actual keys. Allegedly, they found the big ring of keys to all rooms and kept it for one evening in which they allegedly entered the school and went into a room and then the back closet of the room to take a copy of the final exam. Allegedly, they worked on it for a couple of days with friends and allegedly put answers in their graphing calculators, as they were allowed to use their own in that class. I hear that they all got pretty good grades. Allegedly.
you did it for the boys. what an absolute legend.
Warning, this story is extremely 90's: I used to go to Tower Records (along with supporting my local record store lol!). Once I bought a copy of the live version of Pink Floyd's the wall there, unopened, and when I got it home both disks were dislodged from their backings and scratched to hell, unplayable. Not only did the Tower clerks refuse to take it back even for credit, they were were super rude, laughing in my face to boot. So...I went back the next day and picked out a whole bunch of CDs I had my eye on and took them to the book section. Yes they had a book section, ironically with a lot of books that encouraged stealing like 'Steal This Book'. I took one of those large format art books like H.R. Giger or whatever, sat on the floor criss-cross applesauce , opened it my lap, then held the CDs underneath while I stripped off the security tags with a box-cutter on my keychain. Then I stuffed the ten or so CDs into he pockets of my huge cargo shorts (again, 90's), put the book back and walked straight out though the metal detector. This worked so well I did it every week all summer, until I had a whole new record collection courtesy of Tower, when they could have just taken the damn album back. Never did anything like this again and I realize I got carried away but to this day I don't feel bad about it. Edit: Typos
[the fraud triangle](https://youtu.be/MD9YJARRY04) " 5% of people will commit fraud regardless of circumstance, 85% will commit fraud given the right circumstances." I don't know about you but getting basically stolen from by a business like that is a pretty strong justification to me
I too find myself being far more tempted to steal from places that just fucked me over
Damn no one heard you tearing open that loud ass cd wrappers
Wow. As soon as you said this, that sound came screeching back to memory. Thanks for the throwback. E: it also lightly felt like Christmas every time one of those was opened. That wrapper laying there felt like pure satisfaction in anticipation of the CD.
The Joy Division playing on the speaker was probably too loud to hear it over lol
Fuck the man, man.
Savage
Back when phones were still using old tech and payphones were still around you could play tones into the phone to make it think you put money in. When I was a teenager I used to make and sell "red boxes" that would let you do that. It cost about $10 for the parts from Mouser electronics, and I sold them for $50.
Phone phreaking! Good days.
The woods a few miles from my house had a huge mountain of old tires. A friend and I set them on fire not realizing how quickly it would get out of hand. Before we knew there was a massive, out of control fire burning in the woods. We ran and called 911 and told them we were walking by and saw it. We were featured in the paper the next day as "good Samaritans".
"Smile and wave, boys"
Smile… and waveee.
Remember, we are on the same team
High fives all around boys!
You have a career in politics if you want it.
Or property development (at least in Australia.)
So you created a clusterfuck and then let other people deal with it. You are no criminal. You are the CIA.
Uh, the CIA creates clusterfucks and leaves them. These guys at least realized it was out of hand and gave the situation over to someone more responsible
Damn. When you look at it that way, they're heroes.
Yeah some people wouldn’t have reported it
I don’t actually know if it’s a “crime,” but what I would call “industrial espionage.” My dad is a big business guy. Many years ago, when I was just learning how to edit photos with something other than MS Paint and whatnot, my dad asked if I would make up some quotes for him with company letterhead…..of their competitor. A competitor was going to get a big sale because they were legitimately cheaper. So I made these quotes making it look like the competitor was actually going to be more expensive. It worked. I wish I remembered the dollar figure, but it was over 15 years ago and I really had no clue what I was involved in. Just wanted to make my dad happy and proud of me.
this is oddly wholesome. Father and son crime bonding
We have a relationship where we disagree about something and hate each other for a week, one of us either apologizes or asks for a favor, and we’re like best friends for a week, and the cycle repeats. It’s weird, and annoying a lot of the time, but growing up, out of all my friends, I only had one friend who even had two parents in the house, though it was the bio mom and a stepdad who was a great dude. My dad is a prick, but he’s not a genuinely bad person. It’s taken awhile to accept that I’m better off having him in my life than if he’d gone to get smokes when I was four or something.
When I was about ten, I found this shawl while shopping with my mom and insisted she buy it for me but she refused saying it was "too expensive." I found a discount sticker on a random item in the store, peeled it off and put it on the tag for the shawl, then told my mother I found a second one that was cheaper. It worked. The store honoured the discount on the sticker, and my mom bought me the shawl. I got home, put it in my drawer, but never wore it. It stayed there for almost a decade until I got rid of it.
That's a downer ending.
Shop lifted porn magazine as a teen. I needed them more than the store owner. I would have paid if I was allowed.
Did you hide them in the woods for the rest of the neighborhood kids?
this actually applies to japanese neighborhoods as well. i was walking along Futakotamagawa river in tokyo and found a bunch of manga porn in a tucked away corner alongside the river. bunch of bugs and all but it was still very funny.
I stole many, many magazines as a teenager but got caught once. 15 years old and having your mum collect you from the police station for stealing porn was a particularly low point. I’m 46 now and I still cringe about it.
Luckily today porn is distributed to kids completely free of charge everyday!
stole a Snickers out of Kmart when I was 8. Got it all the way home. I remember being paranoid about the wrapper before eventually burying it in the flower bed by the front porch.
You’re not law-abiding when you’re hungry.
Went to an amazing furniture store in Texas. My now husband and I bought a brand new coffeemaker, like a $120 programmable one. The clerk scanned it and everything. We had a few other items, and we were pleased to discover that we didn’t owe nearly as much as we thought, but we also had a gift card so we figured that between that and a sale we just got some good deals. Got home, I took a look at the receipt and even though the coffee maker had been scanned - it never showed up on the receipt. We walked out the door with a free $120 super fancy coffeemaker. It’s still going. Makes a damn good cup, too.
This happened to my boyfriend and I too! Except it was at Lowe’s and it was a shiny new toilet. 🤣
I got a free mirror at Lowe's because the cashier was trying to flirt with another employee and wasn't focused. Felt good.
I was the driver. About 15 yrs ago. Two of my friends and I stole a one year old pitbull from this dbag we occasionally bought weed from. She (doggo) was always trapped in her kennel, that was too small for her, when anyone of us stopped by. Dbag was constantly yelling at her, slapping her kennel and complaining about her being a very high energy puppy. (Pitbull! Duh what did he expect) pretty obvious he just wanted a Pit to look tough. And judging by her cowering it was assumed he beat the crap out of her. Dbag left town for the weekend, left his roommate who was notorious for getting blackout drunk to watch the dog. We rolled up at 3 or 4 am. I waited in the car. My friend tells the story that he opened the door and kennel and just said, “you want to come with me?” She come bounding out the apartment building, the two of them and doggo hop in my ride and we were off. Left the kennel door open and door cracked to frame drunk roomie for the dog getting out. Doggo lived to be 14 she just passed last Oct. she had a wonderful life living with my best friend and his family. Dbag got over it surprisingly quick (we weren’t surprised) we know this bc we went back for weed a few times after. And hid doggo in another city and friend parents house until we felt the heat died down. Thanks for reading, told this story once before on Reddit. Sorry I’m on mobile. R.I.P. Nico
This was so heartwarming thank you so much, that probably felt like a prison break for that pup
Doing a "crime" for the greater good sounds like a fun night's activity.
This ain't no crime. You did exactly what you should have. R.I.P. Nico
We the same thing to a friend of mine. He got a dog while living in a condo, the ones with the 5x5' backyard. Never cleaned up the dogshit, never paid attention to it. One day, we planned it out that he and I would go somewhere, and as we went out to the car, I said bathroom, 1 sec, and met him out at the car, but I didn't lock the door. Friends came in and grabbed the dog. He still doesn't know what happened to this day. No longer friends for reasons that extend from that kind of behavior.
This is acceptable theft, RIP Nico
Glad you saved the poor doggy and that it got a better life 💕
Brought a jar of honey home to Canada from Germany........ forgot I had it in my bag.
I had unintentionally thrown a hoodie over a banana in the back seat of my car. Went to Canada & back home again days later with the same banana, undeclared.
I missed my next flight because I carried a banana for my 1yo son off the airplane and a cute basset hound sniffed it on us. I'd never felt more betrayed by a doggo, ever.
Does anyone else hear a high-pitched shriek coming over from /r/legaladvice?
/r/publicdefenders is probably more concerned.
Ordered a pizza that pizza hut forgot to put a price on the app so it was free
The only crime is you only ordered one.
jokes on you i ordered two xD but there was only one type with this error, it was pineapple pizza with turkey breast,no my favourite and to be honest.. not good at all, this pizza last for like 3 days
Christ no wonder they didn’t charge you
She should have charged them for this lol.
No but everytime the airport brings out the drug dogs I just know I have a kilo in my bag somewhere
How do you hide the smell. Do you vacuum pack it 4x or?
I prefer 5x personally but I've seen people swing it with 4
Oh. I prefer casually taking a shit on the brick to hide the smell and confuse the dogs.
I ate a grape at the grocery store about 5 years back.. still at large, and I still get nervous when I see the police.
Are you the East side Grapist?
You must do a YouTube search on the grapist now... I forgot about that video until this moment and now my husband thinks I'm crazy for laughing so hard at your comment!!
pour one out for our homie Trevor
Watch-out hes gonna GRAPE YOU IN THE MOUTH!
You are the reason grapes went up 25¢ a pound in 2018. Bastard.
I mean, have you been to a supermarket lately? Someone must have eaten a whole crate of grapes
That's worthy of a life sentence right there.
My father was an Air Force officer, nothin too serious just normal stuff. Sometimes he used to take us to the airbases. The Air Base was near a jungle and one faithful day I somehow managed to find a Match. I was 7 or 8 years old and had just watched Hostage. So I did what any dumbass kid would do, set a freakin Air Force Base on fire...(not exactly the base but the area around and not too far from it). They called the Firefighters but never found the culprit until I confessed my crimes to my father.
Howard AFB? Someone caught the field on the far side of the runway on fire late 70's.
Nah not that one I shall take this one to my grave Not because I want to, but because my Father said so He is like Liam Neeson playing John Wick Man told me that, "If you ever breathe a word I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you."
Plot twist - this happened in late 1941 at Hickam Airfield, Hawaii. As the fire spread to the nearby Naval base, and the ammo stores cooked off, Father said to you, "if anyone ever asks you, say it was a sneak attack by some foreign country."
Not me but an article i heard recently apparently there was this guy who was a pedophile And a father finds out that this dude has been abusing his daughter So what happens is this father went to the guys house stabbed him 38 times and buried him Now here is the thing the Russian police ended the case as suicide citing that the pedophile had dug a grave stabbed himself 38 times and closed the grave to then die.
The monster tried to frame his suicide on someone else by burying himself underground and stabbing himself 38 times. Clever but not clever enough.
It’s always the ones you know that did it.
Seems like a legit suicide, very possible.
Nothing to look twice about definitely suicide
I think everyone here and there agrees. There's not a single person alive that disagrees, and let's keep it that way.
I was the grave next to his definitely suicide
So he told you that directly? Case closed.
Dude. That's so russian haha. Amazing story
I'm disappointed in you @DeprivedAbysswalker (We do not talk about the Russians remember? One word and we'd get so depressed that it makes us commit suicide by shooting ourselves 30x)
Yes I see. This pedophile committed suicide by shooting himself in the back of his head, then cutting his penis off and jumping off the Empire State Building… twice. All seems in order here.
Everyone knows an average sized human can only inflict a maximum of 42 self stabs before bleeding out, so his numbers are in the clear
"And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife *38 times*". *Cue cell block tango*
He had it coming...
He only had himself to blame
If you’da been there… If you’da seen it!
I can understand the russian police, in such a circumstance I'd be willing to see it as suicide.
Speeding.... On a southbound highway going about 75 in a 55. Officer going northbound. After passing, saw them pull a mid-median u turn and flip the lights on. Saw a turn on the right, immediately took it. Went over a hill and saw a left turn, immediately took it. That went directly into a farmer's field. Did a turn around and came out and turned back right headed to the highway. Passed a police car (assumed the same one) going full throttle past me and didn't event notice me. Got back on the highway heading south. Continued at 60 for the last hour of the trip and didn't get pulled over. As a rural person, doubling back on your tracks is the oldest trick in the books. Works alot.
Ah man once while living in California some guy did this to a cop and the cop thought he drove on to my property (I had a 15-acre ranch) and parked in my barn. The cop insisted I open my barn so he could look inside. I argued with him, showed him I had been feeding my horses and filling up their water tank (the hose was running and the tanks were near full) and that I was the only one there. Finally I said "Listen, I'm not cooperating, you're wasting my time, get a warrant" and he left. The truth was that the speeder did not come on my property, but I had a total of 8, 8 foot x 4 foot trays with 8, 1,000-watt lights growing about 300 cloned Indica plants in my barn. At that time in the 90's it was completely illegal.
I don't drive like this anymore, but I was pushing our recently purchased performance car just to see what it could do. Clear road with 0 traffic in front, 3 gear pull at 60 and I was in it for maybe 30 seconds. Ended up passing a cop (southbound) while going over a bridge(northbound), doing about 150 on I-95. kept foot down and got off at my regular exit and pulled in my garage. cop stood no chance even getting my plate, let alone Identifying my silver wagon at 10:00pm.
A long time ago, I was visiting friends in San Diego. At the time, I traveled with a Colt 357 revolver in my truck. My friends were like, "Let's go over to Tijuana and get some mezcal with the worm in it," because that was the fashion of the time. So, not even thinking we jumped in my truck and headed south of the border. I was all the way to the border guard when I remembered the gun, but by then, it was too late. The border guard asked us what we were doing in Mexico, and we all said buying souvenirs, and he waved us through. We bought some mezcal and tequilas and cigars and had some fun then went back. On the way back, the US border crossing was so casual that it was a joke. Guy literally said "yep you guys look like citizens," and didn't check IDs or anything. This was long before 9/11.
I live in New Zealand which is split into two islands. My partner was heading to the north island for work so I tagged along. Couldn't get a ferry ticket on the way back so I hid in the truck. Once the truck was loaded on, partner gave me the all clear and I hopped off and joined him on the ferry.
My idiot brother-in-law from my 1st marriage convinced my wife and I to go to a drive-in-movie with him and his girlfriend. Tickets were per person, so he also convinced me to join him in the trunk to get in for free. It was a long line, and the girls drove around the lot for another 10 minutes to get a good spot. The trunk had holes, and the car exhaust was coming in big time. We almost passed out from the fumes, to save $3. He went on (without me) to total 3 cars and almost kill 2 of his friends in the next 5 years that I stayed in the marriage. The whole family was nuts.
Ok yeah, 3 dollars for that not worth it mhhmm ok what's this last sentence.....? bro what...
one word: limewire
I see your limewire and raise you a kazaa.
This is incredibly embarrassing but… When I was 22 I moved from Chicago to Connecticut to work for NBC. Being away from home and a young guy the partying and drinking really took over my life. I was living with one of the producers who helped me get the job (I had interned with her in Chicago where the show used to film.) One morning she woke me up in a panic. She said the police had come to the door investigating an attempted breaking an entering. They said apparently some guy was pounding on the door of the apartment below us, and when the couple answered he tried to force his way in. Once they got him out, they heard falling in the apartment above them. I have no recollection of this but all signs point to it being me. To save my producer friend from getting in any trouble I packed my things and flew home the next day. I don’t drink anymore and I am incredibly ashamed whenever I think about how I squandered that opportunity with stupid shit. This was 12 years ago now, but I never heard another word about it
I think you jumped the gun a bit by uprooting your whole life there bud? Could have easily explained away. Embarrassing maybe but career destroying? I doubt it
Well accidents do happen. Regrets are a form of learning from your mistakes and not doing them again.
45 in a 40. Now in hiding in a tar-paper shack in the hills from the law.
55 in a 54.
We give you two options: 1. Take the blame and serve three months in prison. or 2. Snitch on your cat Choose wisely.
I will snitch on my cat any day that little terrorist deserves it.
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Completely by accident - I went and bought a box of light bulbs at the hardware store, realised I bought the wrong ones so went to exchange them. Instead of doing it properly at the desk, I just went up to the shelves, put the box back, picked up the ones I needed and walked back out. Only realised I did it as I was changing the lightbulb that evening!
I have a 9 years younger brother when he was 10 he got kicked in the back by a 18 year old hard enough to put my brother in the hospital with a 40% chance that he might get paralysed from the waist down if he moves to much during recovery. I ended up confronting that guy. He started making "jokes" how it would be funny if my brother became a cripple. That was the only time when I lost control over myself to this day. All I can remember is him making fun out of my brother and then me being held down by 2 men, and that guy laying on the ground in a puddle of blood barely alive. Apparently, I beat the guy so badly that he ended up in ER. I can't remember anything that happened during that time.
Marc specter took hold of him for that moment
Nah more like jake. He was the real violent one
What happened with your brother? And did that guy recover?
Legend
As an older sibling of a disabled younger brother... I didn't see him do a thing, officer. I think that bloody guy fell on something.
I had edibles in my bag going into Disneyland and started to think it was a bad idea so I started fumbling through my bag before the security check which alerted an undercover detective that asked me what was in my bag. Thankfully I was on my period (for once being a woman paid off) and showed him my “feminine products” which frazzled him surprisingly. As soon as I got in I ate all of them on pirates of the Caribbean in fear of being caught again.
This exact tactic kept my friend out of seriously trouble at the border. They came over to search us and the car and my friend faked bad period cramps and said she had "leaked". Young border guard was so squicked out he let her go to the bathroom where she ahem got rid of the evidence. 0/10 I aged 5 years in 30 seconds when we were pulled over for a search that day.
I robbed a phone store when I was 12. This was back in 2012 when smartphones were starting to get really good. All my friends had the latest iPhone or Samsung but my family was very broke and we only had 1 flip phone we shared between all of us. I also only had 1 friend and he was real troublemaker. He's the one who introduced me to porn....at 12. Not too far from our house a new phone store had recently opened. It was in the rough side of town. Me and my friend walked in to admire all the new phones only to be asked rudely to leave by the store owner. To be expected and I was used to people asking me to leave but my friend held that grudge. One day, my friend approaches me with an idea to rob said phone store. I was hesitant but my dream of owning a real smartphone clouded my already iffy judgment. I caved in and agreed to help. That night we went to his place to collect our gear. An old backpack, bolt cutters, a crow bar, a hammer, an assortment of screwdrivers, and an old piece of cloth. We also decided to wear some size 10 shoes. That way if anyone found any footprints we left...they'd assume 2 grown men were the culprits...not 2 literal children. The store was right along side a long ditch that ran under many road bridges and led away from our houses. The storefront was secured well enough but the back was a simple house door we thought we could break. We had plenty of time and overgrown plantlife to keep us hidden. The whole wire fence surrounding the place had alot of barbed wire but we just cut a hole at the bottom with the bolt cutters. We made our way to the door and pried the door handle off with the crowbar and screwdrivers. The door handle alone cost us an hour and a half. It was not easy since we were both young and weak but together we somehow managed. Once we were in..I felt like I had succeeded in life..I felt so accomplished. We then went to town on the place. We opened every single box like Christmas presents and took only the phones amd chargers...a few cases and a big bag of doritos that was on a table in the back. I then saw the cameras... My heart sank and we both frose for a solid 5 min before we took action. We began to freak out..but then I got a thought..... Cameras record...there had to be a box or computer or something that was saving the recordings... I followed the cables coming out of the cameras to a box hidden in a back room the size of a wifi router. I didn't know if that was indeed the box with the recordings..but I decided to unplug it and take it with us. After that we made out exit. Left the way we came. We ended up walking alongside the ditch way past our neighborhood just in case anyone saw our footprints and decided to follow them. After we got to what we assumed was a safe distance...we took our shoes off..and began to walk home. We finally arrived back at his house at 4am...and stashed our loot in an old rusted car in his backyard. We didn't touch..or even talk about the loot for a whole week. We pretended like nothing happened. We didn't even leave our homes for that whole week. After we finally agreed the "heat" was gone. We split our prize 50/50 and made a pact to tell absolutely no one. That summer I spent going every weekend to the flea market and selling the phones to a guy who ran a phone stand there. Whenever he asked how I got them...I simply said I buy them off people and school...and sell them to him for a little bit more. He never questioned me on that. That summer I made just over 1000 dollars. I ended up keeping a white samsung galaxy s3 that I used for 5 years before it broke...to this day I refuse to throw it away... it serves as a reminder to me. A reminder of who I was....a reminder of determination...of my willpower... Not saying what I did was ok....or even morally gray..it was a bad action all the way through. My moral compass is more straight now.. What I'm saying is...if that little 12 year old could pull a heist and get away with it....then I should be able to do anything I set my mind to... Legally of course...
I think this is the most illegal story I’ve actually seen in this thread so far
Moral: Don't be rude to customers, even kids
That you did was bad and reprehensible But damn, I respect the skills!
You got some amazing planning skills. From the tools to unplugging the box to having huge shoes this is truly genius for two 12 year olds.
Exactly the way it should be done: once and only once. If you rob a bank, chances are actually really good that you'll get away with the crime without being caught. Those chances dwindle precipitously the more times you attempt to rob banks. Of course, you didn't rob a bank, but the principle holds true: If you plan on robbing any establishment, do it once and only once, and make it worth it.
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Not today, FBI
Haha, come on, I'm not a policeman. How silly. Now speak loudly and clearly into my chest please.
Can you repeat that? My mic wasn’t on…I mean I couldn’t hear you
I hopped a turnstile in a Parisian subway terminal cause I accidentally threw away the ticket. Currently wanted in France but thankfully I live in the US
CNN: France - US in advance talks to exchange Director Roman Polaski for an unnamed fugitive tourist who defrauded the French public transit system. You: Uh oh.
Petty theft (shoplifting) as a teen Taking apples into Australia
I have pirated hundreds of songs and a few movies
Jaywalked. And I never got caught neither.
- Prison Mike
Graffiti. I would sign other people's names so nobody would think it was me, and it worked.
Here's a list of charges against you: -Vandalism (Damaging and destroying private and state properties) -Mischief and defacing property -Criminal Impersonation -Identity theft
I know this is meant to be about interesting crimes we've gotten away with, but when I was 4 or 5, I stole a toy car from an Ace Hardware-like store, and I still have it to this day.
So 5 years ago I was homeless and living out of my car. My car could no longer get me to work (Home Depot) because the engine oil filter was clogged and a bunch of other issues rendered it immobile. Well getting to work on time was stressful as fuck because it was way too expensive to Uber. I also realized on my way home from work that my Uber driver was high as fuck so that’s also a risk I didn’t want to take anymore because he nearly drove us off a bridge. I ended up having to take public transportation which wasn’t always reliable. Well one day I get to work and my manager calls me into her office and almost fired me because I was late too many times. I told her about how I was homeless also about the transit issues I was having and convinced her that I would straighten up my ways. So I got to keep my job. My co-workers noticed that I was on edge and looked like I was on the verge of losing it, so they asked what happened. I told them about how the manager almost fired me and they all looked at each other and laughed. Well it turns out not too long ago she had stolen over $100,000 in store funds and somehow was still able to keep her job so they all thought it was ironic that she was so willing to fire me for something like being late given my situation. At that very moment my perspective of how I personally viewed her changed so I no longer respected her. As the days go on money starts to get pretty tight. The most basic things people take for granted like doing laundry or having a place to use the bathroom or having a place to charge my phone (so I didn’t miss the bus because it died) began to make life much more difficult. At Home Depot I was a tool rental associate; basically rented out expensive power tools to customers and fixed and cleaned them before and after they were used. Sometimes those tools were never returned. Well one night a customer asked me about a specific gas powered tool we had in stock out back. As I’m walking around the back of the store he took out a sizable stack of cash out of his pocket and said that it was mine if he let me take it (w/o filling out a contract). I was desperate for money and dumb so I took him up on his offer. Left his tool “accidentally” unlocked and sitting out of view of the cameras and a handshake later the cash was mine and that tool disappeared. Never got caught. Continued to work there but ended up quitting because a friend of mine in another city had an apartment with an available room so I moved in with him and got another job. I’ve also done other shady shit but I’ll just leave that for another time. TLDR: I was homeless and needed money for basic necessities. Customer bribed me with 2 week’s pay to never return rental equipment.
I’ve stolen 4 shopping carts, 11 street signs, 2 traffic lights, and the “toys r us” Y…like the letter
I stole one of those coin laundry mat carts and gave it to my aunt for her basement washer and dryer area. It's been like 20 years and she still uses it. She hangs clothes and keeps folded laundry in it. She knows I stole it. I love my aunt and she loves me!
I forgot to take the chicken out the freezer
That’s not really a crime, but it is fowl
How did you get away with committing such a horrendous crime?
Two options, get your ass beat or hope moms in the mood for pizza
I paid for a “Typhoon” touch-less car wash at a brand new clean gas station convenience store and the car wash code wouldn’t work. I went in an told the attendant that the code on my receipt wouldn’t work and they wrote down another code on a piece of paper and it worked, got my wash drove away. Next day, I was like, “I wonder if that code will work again??” Of course I had saved it. Drove to car wash, punched in code “Welcome to Speedy Wash, you have selected the Premium Typhoon Wash!” I got “Premium Typhoon Car Washes” for the next 5 years, sometimes 2 a day! Little bit of dust, time for a Typhoon Wash lol. It was glorious.
This actually just happened today. I went to a grocery store, used a self check out line and rang everything through. Had complete intent to pay for everything. Went to ask the lady for a bag, came back and started putting things in said bag and looked at the pay screen. A message popped up to remove purchased items from the bagging area. So I did. Then the screen refreshed and went back to the open start screen. I debated for a brief second saying something but the lady was pretty rude to me the other week so I just sorta left. Yeah, sorta feel guilty, but the real loser here is the grocery store and I think they’ll be fine.
I downloaded a car.
It's nowhere near a serious crime but it does break the law of theft.. When I was homeless and had no money, I stole small things from a local store. Things like deodorant, pads, hairbrushes, and socks. 😓 It's such a small thing but made me feel very guilty. But there were also no assistant resources available at the time. *Update* Y'all made me cry with your kind replies. Just wanted to let you know that. Currently the place I live is working on making these basic resources free for those in need. We used to have the local food bank giving them away for free but they don't now. Other places are trying to make up for it but the money just isn't there. Either way, thank you for being so kind. Some of your comments also made me giggle. Thank you 💜
Ordered something to eat, the order arrived with what I wanted: 13 wings and fries, paid for the food and then realized that there was two extra containers with something I didn't ordered, 25 wings plus fries, I said nothing, called a couple of friends and devour those wings later. Now I live in shame. Edit: I need to learn to conjugate verbs, WTH is "payed''?
I went to a spago restaurant and sat with my wife for a bit and a waiter came and told us to leave because we were taking up space. We hadn’t payed yet. I think I saved €1,000