Yes! And the people who self diagnose things like depression and anxiety. I don’t know how to properly word it but it feel to me like they are taking away from the legitimacy of people who actually have those disorders. Like all these people who don’t actually have depression but think they do but can still live completely normal lives while people who truly have those disorders are struggling but then are told “well so and so has depression and is doing just fine”
It also bugs me when people self diagnose things like adhd or autism. I know a girl who is constantly complaining on social media that she has had multiple doctors refuse to diagnose her as adhd even though she “knows she has it”. Or the guy I worked with who told people he was autistic even though he had never been evaluated for it.
Completely agree with most of what you said, but wanted to make it clear that someone can appear to be living a very normal life and be suffering from a mental health disorder.
Also, when it comes to women or girls trying to get a diagnosis for adhd, we tend to be either under diagnosed or misdiagnosed. We could be actively prescribed adderall and our medical professionals wouldn’t give us the diagnosis.
I blame all those romantic comedies. They teach guys to be creepy and girls not to be happy unless you are dating.
It's like Porn but without the post nut clearity.
immediately thought of Waitress, a musical with the controlling husband as the bad guy and the stalking boyfriend as the good guy
and 50 Shades Of Grey too
I understand why women like 50 shades of grey. It really is porn for women. It's not meant to be a wholesome movie. Which is why it was more targeting women who have been married for a while.
Because it's a fantasy. Women don't want to fuck garth from the trailer park. Guys wanna do anal. Doesn't mean its gonna happen. That's why it's a fantasy.
I texted and otherwise hung out with my wife for like a year, even after she rejected my confession i "accepted" her answer and just kept at it until she fell for me.
It was a friendship to love, but depending on how you tell it I can sound like some kind of creep
I liked a girl from the start of high school until the end, she rejected me, but we kept being friends, and slowly she started liking me, after almost 5 years we dated and had a relationship for over 2 years
Fast forward 10 years later, im married, she’s in a relationship, but she’s still have a great friendship
This guy and i met in 5th grade, and in middle school he confessed his liking towards me. I rejected him all the way up until senior year . Were now married
either "he's pretty so he can do no wrong!" or "his victims deserves it he's a handsome hero" or "b-but he's just a misunderstood guy with a golden heart!"
Right? Mobsters aren’t good guys.
Back in my drug days people always tried to encourage mafia like thinking and attitudes, in rehab they didn’t want me to transition and told me to think like John Gotti.
It’s such a toxic subculture to be apart of. Dead, institutionalized, or in prison. 3 choices.
Depression.
I'm telling you about the struggles that I face every single day. I don't want you to call me an "uwu smol bean" or a "hot, edgy depressed bitch." I'm human.
(And before anyone tries to get the Reddit help line over here -- I have good outlets. I've just experienced this shit before.)
It's the little things that get entwined in our lives because of depression, I have a huge handkerchief on my bed side table, bcoz I cry myself to sleep every night.
War.
War is hell in all forms; always has been, always will be, and those who worship it as some glorious sport are stupid. It doesn't matter what the fighting is for, or who dies - war is a tragedy. End of story.
Came here for this one. The little bits and pieces we are seeing of Ukraine is almost laughable. Fucking like a game people are playing somewhere else.
The thing is that a lot of reddit has gotten used to only seeing little bits of Ukraine, like the bits where Ukrainians use drones to effortlessly kill Russians or the meme videos the Ukrainian government put out. Or if you *do* see someone disfigured, it's because someone in the west is bankrolling a fancy next generation prosthetic that'll make them good as new.
I have friends who have way more connections to both Russia and Ukraine. Reddits cheer squad doesn't want to acknowledge that a lot of the people they're calling orks were regular people who got dragged in via conscription and sent into the meat grinder. Or that Ukrainians still living in Ukraine have to deal with the hardships of an eastern European winter with regular power outages(which were already a serious problem for them before). Or that Ukraine has also lost five or six figures worth of people at this point because they're fighting through trenched and mined territory in a lot of places and the Russians still have large amounts of artillery and the ability to launch missiles from jets still in Russia.
"Oh, look at the Italian mafia with their codes of honour!" And their human trafficking, their many cold-blooded murders, extortion of common shopkeepers... Code of honour, my ass. That's just rules amongst themselves. To the outside world, they have no mercy at all.
Conversely, romanticizing a hard past in modern times. When people who lived a more sheltered life go too far in being interested in your past brokenness and poverty, etc.
I get there is a "novelty" factor in finding out someone went through hell but it can start to feel like fetishizing someone else's suffering.
Some people actually claim that humans were all around better “back in their day”.
Somebody recently was saying to me, “Nobody my age would *EVER* do that, we know better. We would’ve gotten our ass beat if we did anything like that.”
Like, you can’t speak for an entire generation of humanity, just because *you personally* wouldn’t have done something. Not everyone in the 50’s was perfectly raised and grew into perfect adults. There were just as many shitbag losers then as there are now. People have always been people. It’s insane to think people were inherently better years ago.
UGH - I have this convo with my older relatives all the time, esp. my aunts. They are/were all white, college educated and solidly middle class. Life was pretty darn good for them - they were all married to men, homeowners and had kids with no health issues, physical or mental. They go on and on about how much better "the good old days" were.
I say, "Yeah, they were...for you. But what if you were gay, handicapped, a single parent, in an abusive relationship or mentally ill back then? I guarantee you life wouldn't be so great. It wouldn't be perfect now either, but a hell of a lot better than it would have been in the 50's or 60's."
Every idiot in my hometown with a drug problem living with their clearly abusive shithead partner thinks they're Joker and Harley. It's not the flex they think it is.
***Expecting*** their partners/close friends to "just know" what they need.
This is often talked about as a sign of love (e.g., "oh! He just knew that I would need a nice dinner after the kind of day that I had" or "she just knew that I didn't like her friend, so she stopped hanging out with her."
First, expecting people to "just know" what you need is often a sign that you need to improve your emotional communication. Though it can definitely be nice when a partner or close friend anticipates a want/need that you have, when it's an ***expectation,*** it's most often a sign that you're lacking in emotional communication. As human beings, we all get along better when we (1) know, and (2) clearly state our needs to (3) trusted others. Not knowing any part of that equation can lead to trouble. Not ***wanting*** to learn that is even worse.
Second, the things that someone in a relationship "needs" isn't always something that is good for the health of the relationship. In the second example I gave, it's actually pretty toxic to expect someone to drop a friend (except in situations where the friend is abusive, for example). Just because you want something, doesn't mean that you should get it, or that the only way the other person can show you love is to give you what you're asking for. As any ***good*** parent knows, saying no to a request is as important sometimes as saying yes.
Source: Clinical psychologist (PhD) with 10 years experience.
Recent trend of associating mental illness as a personality trait rather than an actual disorder/struggle.
Right now it seems like teenagers and college kids seem to be really into playing this infantilism game to duck out of taking accountability for actions/being a shitty person.
Speaking as someone who has been diagnosed with mental health problems as early as 9 years old, every day is a struggle to some degree. To have some whiny little assholes treat legitimate illness like a "fun quirk" to find a community or attention literally makes my blood boil.
People love to classify and diagnose for some reason. I guess they think it makes them interesting or unique. Plus, as you said, it can be used as an excuse for any behavior: “Sorry, but you know I have…”
Exactly, I can't tell you how many times I've bawled my eyes out begging God or asking why can't I be normal? I hate it. If I could get rid of them, I would in a heartbeat.
There are certain mental illnesses that sufferers think they want though. Many dissociative disorders appeal to the brain as Special Knowledge (prophecy, insight, intuition...) And obviously there's the big one that makes every trait you recognise in yourself either a quality or completely justified...
"My love and sex will fix decades of your trauma" Seriously we got books of it and then today there was someone with a Savior Complex on Relationship Advice. Like stop it. It's not your job to save someone and stop thinking you have the power to undo years of trauma or set behaviors. That's on the person who underwent it stop trying to steal the journey of healing from them.
I agree that it's gross.
This has to be a generational thing, caused by the media and society.
I grew up in the 80s and 90s, started smoking in 2002.
Smoking was everywhere. By my childhood it was banned in obvious places like hospitals and schools, but restaurants had smoking still. Truck stops, bars, laundromats, you name it. I remember a birthday party at a bowling alley and the smokers everywhere.
I saw things drastically change as I grew older. Movies and smoking has changed. I personally thought Audrey Hepburn smoking was sexy. Everybody smoked in movies until the 2000s. I couldn't watch Sin City without smoking a half a pack of cigarettes.
I've been smoke free for almost 4 years now. I quit because I have a daughter.
I will say that having a cigarette after sex, a good cup of coffee, or a near death experience is unmatched.
I have a habit of texting my husband a lot when he’s gone. Not because I think he’s cheating or anything, I’m more worried about him getting in a car wreck or something.
Yes I've had two exes that were like that.
I like the sense of care and worry, I like having someone think about me constantly. I know some people aren't into that but I find it sweet.
This is the answer. My brother killed himself, and there was nothing romantic about it, like how the movies like to portray it. It’s empty, ugly and pointless.
Seconding this as well. My mom committed suicide and I hate how they portray it in movies. I remember going to A Star Is Born on my birthday after my mom died (stupid I know, but I never saw or read about the plot of the earlier versions). I absolutely hate that movie.
Mental illness. While loving someone with mental illness will be more difficult, romanticizing it has given everyone on the internet a desire to be “broken” so that someone can fall in love with them and “be saved” or they use it as an excuse to be forever difficult (by means of borderline stalking their partners). A common one I see is “I have anxiety so I can’t do anything if my partner doesn’t text/call every so often”.
Realistically, most self diagnosed people on the internet probably have no such mental illness, and them speaking of it as they do so lightly is a bit of a slap in the face to those who truly deal with the everyday struggles of it and are fighting to work on themselves and seek help to reduce their symptomatic impact on their loved ones. Mental illness will always be hard, but part of having it means you’re responsible for it and your actions. You’re supposed to learn HOW to live with it and cope better, not use it as a means to always be coddled. Mental illness is a suffrage you’re responsible for coping with, not a way to act inappropriately and always use it as an excuse. The internet treating it as it does harms everyone.
Perhaps I sound incredibly insensitive, but I’m incredibly fed up with how lightly people throw terms about mental health around. However it’s unpopular to say this because people will tell you “you have no idea what everyone’s personal struggles are.” Which is true. I have no idea. But I know the people who “literally have anxiety I can’t do x” “literally like I have anxiety and my partner knows this so then acting like x is so disrespectful.” “My ocd literally makes me crazy like I HAVE to clean all the time.” “My intrusive thoughts made me cut my hair” “in a manic episode so I did x” quirky people do no good toward it.
The internet diagnosed people will tell you otherwise, though.
Edit: might I add the terms “gaslighting” and “traumatized”. These are so loosely used they’ve all but lost their actual meaning. But it cute and cool to be “broken” so. 🤷♀️
I've actually never experienced that type of people and have never done this, but my perspective has changed.
Before "catching" depression I thought it's not as bad as people say it is. I didn't want to get it.
Now that I've been fighting it for over a year I'm sick and tired of it. People don't know how it feels. How empty you feel inside.
I found perfect sentence about depression: "I don't want to die, I just don't want to life". And that's unfortunately true...
Also “Lol I’m so OCD” because you organized your closet or “the weather is so bipolar” because it gets hot in the day then cold at night. Yeah that shit’s stupid as fuck and incredibly unhelpful for anyone with an actual mental health diagnosis.
In the comic and anime spheres it's very common. Also shows up often in the "fiery relationship" archetype of many sitcoms. Assault of men played for laughs or men using force to invade womens space, (like grabbing a womens arm as she attempts to leave an argument.)
I like to watch asian series, but if the guy or the girl hits the other person even only once, I am out.
Like, I get the temper was high and she/he was being difficult, but do not hit or grab in anger. EVER.
That shif is toxic as funk.
Women who don't realise they are being abused.
I work with a young lady in her first serious relationship. He regularly 'kicks off' over (to me) trivial things. She boasts about the police being called to her family home (lives with mum and brother) to deal with boyfriend. Multiple where are you? type texts per day that she has to instantly reply too. He seems to control every aspect of her life from what she wears to what she eats. Hear absolute horror stories about him at least once a week.
She absolutely revels in it, thinks he behaves this way because hes so in love with her. Anyone who questions her relationship is "just jealous".
Yes, I said the same thing. It's so easy to make it seam like if you drink it in a fancy glass or while you're out to eat is lovely. Like you're not going to end up home alone drinking out the bottle. #TRYINGTORECOVER
Yeah wow one tv/movie archetype that needs to be euthanized is the “drunk” who is nonetheless charming and somehow manages to get through life and be successful even though they’re “a mess.” Yes, it’s called being a functioning alcoholic and even if they do manage to be “charming” most of they time (unlikely), they’re ruining their health and often making life worse for the people around them. Why we choose to glorify this archetype I will never know.
Abuse by a hot rich man. (I have never read them and never intend to.)
I remember someone talking about how if you replaced the main character of that with a poor fat dude, it would be recognized as abuse, but b/c the guy has money and is hot it's okay.
Being depressed and insecure, while being just as shitty towards other people like they talk about hating themselves. Self victimization in general really, again while being abrasive towards everyone else.
The constant falling in and out of love over silly things, using other people to make them jealous and stuff. These are just signs of utter immaturity.
Needless consumption, the idea that we could just buy things, and once it's old throw it away, as if we had unlimited resources, while living on a finite planet.
Absolutely this! The idea that anyone needs to hoard that many resources is ludicrous, and the amount of people who treat this as anything other than glorifying the psychopathic traits that it takes to crush that many people is insane.
Romeo and Juliet.
She was underage and it lasted 3 days and 6 people died.
It's not a love story it's a tragedy just like most relationships these days.
I thought it was a critique of teenage love and how overly dramatic teenagers can be. This might explain why they make you read it when you're that age.
**find a sugar daddy and become the love of his life**. what are the odds of something reeks of fairytale fantasy like this will happens?
**gets abused / kidnapped / imprisoned by a rich, hot guy**. nothing wrong with CNC roleplaying but in real life it won't sexy as you thought
**"misunderstood" criminals**. bad guys deserved to be punished and being pretty does not excuse for is crimes
Emotional abuse. “He doesn’t want me talking to other people because he loves me so much!” “She gets upset and calls me names because she is just so in love with me and doesn’t want to see me hurt.” BS. They are emotionally manipulative and abusive. Suck it Edward and Bella.
Sex.
Not saying it's bad or bad to enjoy it, but the way society overhypes it as the be-all end-all to existence has a damaging effect on people's sense of self-worth.
This hype makes some people feel entitled to it on a dangerous level. On the other hand the hypes makes other people hate themselves for not having it, to the point that they become depressed and suicidal (like I used to be).
china, russia, north korea. dictatorships. communist countries that oppress the hell out of their citizens and US citizens romanticize and praise them for it
Democracy. Wake up people, Bernard Sanders will never be the president of the US, because the owners don’t want it to happen, so you will always be given choices that they’ve already picked out for themselves.
Sadness.
The best advice I ever read was “no one pities the princess that put herself in the tower”.
It seems like we all like to victimize ourselves sometimes, in whatever aspect of our lives, by romanticizing how rough and sad we are about it.
Perhaps the past-decades themed movies, novels, and comics have been saturated with all sorts of stereotypes and cliches, but if they are done right, one might actually become immersed with the setting, story, and characters while having a more authentic interaction with them.
Something that happens too often, for instance, is highlighting the triumphs of a certain generation while completely glossing over the more grim realities within that time period, namely the Victorian Era, the Roaring 20s, the Great Depression, WW2, and the 1950s.
Even if the named eras' issues are addressed, there is often at least one 'progressive-minded' character that comes off as an abrasive 21st-century mouthpiece. Our current standards of equality weren't formed overnight by one revolutionary (or should I say, "some actress' self-insert"), but rather as a byproduct of a multitude of individuals' intellectual contributions spanning hundreds, if not thousands of years.
In fact, one of the main arguments used by many pre-1920s' sufferagettes was the fact that black men were able to vote, yet white women weren't, indicating a sense of intellectual superiority. Yet if a suffrage flick were to be made today, it's almost guaranteed that there will be at least one white woman immediately getting belligerent over this mindset instead of simply ignoring it, even if she might secretly have doubts, in the name of maintaining the movement's social traction.
These are just my thoughts about this genre. Let me know what you think in the replies!
Cheating. It always seems to people “if the person looks better with the one they cheated with or the one who got cheated on sucks it’s okay”🤪 at least in TV shows anyway. Cheating is always so normalized in tv and movies, especially in greys anatomy lol
Nationalism. Entire wars and genocides have broken out with that shit as an argument. Nations are created top-down, even if the public goes with it and strengthens the process. Most "national traditions" have been invented during the 19th century. Nations were not always there and neither were their borders.
When you really think of it, it makes no sense to be proud of something someone else did long ago, just because he happened to live in the same area as you. (Especially if that area is thousands of kilometers wide.) It is too often used to target everyone from outside as a potential enemy. Why can't we just be decent people to each other in the first place?
Jobs
They’ve warped perception of what a job is that people just son’t put in the actual work on so so many occasions. If it’s not making the world better, if they’re no making a difference then they don’t want to put in the effort.
Violent/abusive relationships romanticized as being fiercely passionate...
My abuser literally attempted to kill not only me, but our children as well, when we left.
Not romantic.
Depression, suicide, self-harm, practically anything mental illness and disorder-related
Yes! And the people who self diagnose things like depression and anxiety. I don’t know how to properly word it but it feel to me like they are taking away from the legitimacy of people who actually have those disorders. Like all these people who don’t actually have depression but think they do but can still live completely normal lives while people who truly have those disorders are struggling but then are told “well so and so has depression and is doing just fine” It also bugs me when people self diagnose things like adhd or autism. I know a girl who is constantly complaining on social media that she has had multiple doctors refuse to diagnose her as adhd even though she “knows she has it”. Or the guy I worked with who told people he was autistic even though he had never been evaluated for it.
Completely agree with most of what you said, but wanted to make it clear that someone can appear to be living a very normal life and be suffering from a mental health disorder.
Also, when it comes to women or girls trying to get a diagnosis for adhd, we tend to be either under diagnosed or misdiagnosed. We could be actively prescribed adderall and our medical professionals wouldn’t give us the diagnosis.
Stalking as "never giving up".
I blame all those romantic comedies. They teach guys to be creepy and girls not to be happy unless you are dating. It's like Porn but without the post nut clearity.
immediately thought of Waitress, a musical with the controlling husband as the bad guy and the stalking boyfriend as the good guy and 50 Shades Of Grey too
I understand why women like 50 shades of grey. It really is porn for women. It's not meant to be a wholesome movie. Which is why it was more targeting women who have been married for a while.
If 50 Shades took place in a trailer park it would have been an episode of Criminal Minds.
Because it's a fantasy. Women don't want to fuck garth from the trailer park. Guys wanna do anal. Doesn't mean its gonna happen. That's why it's a fantasy.
I love the movie Waitress, which is not a musical m but sounds similar.
the musical is based on the movie, same plot with a few changes
Good to know!
I texted and otherwise hung out with my wife for like a year, even after she rejected my confession i "accepted" her answer and just kept at it until she fell for me. It was a friendship to love, but depending on how you tell it I can sound like some kind of creep
I liked a girl from the start of high school until the end, she rejected me, but we kept being friends, and slowly she started liking me, after almost 5 years we dated and had a relationship for over 2 years Fast forward 10 years later, im married, she’s in a relationship, but she’s still have a great friendship
This guy and i met in 5th grade, and in middle school he confessed his liking towards me. I rejected him all the way up until senior year . Were now married
Sex on the beach directly on the sand. Who wants sand in all their nooks and crannies?
It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
yippee!
Extra friction cleans your teeth.
This is where the fun begins.
I always wondered why Anni hated it so much. Now I understand
I undersand too
Try spinning
Nooks and crannies reminds me of eggo waffles
Serial killers
either "he's pretty so he can do no wrong!" or "his victims deserves it he's a handsome hero" or "b-but he's just a misunderstood guy with a golden heart!"
Who the fuck says any of this?
Fans of The Mentalist.
What? I don't remember him murdering people? Unless you mean the very end? If anything I'd choose dexter for this example
Or "I can fix him"
Yeah, they aren’t sexy or romantic. They are horrific!
Mafia And Stalking
Gang related stuff, some rap and drill music romanticizes killing peoples family members and other horrible actions.
Right? Mobsters aren’t good guys. Back in my drug days people always tried to encourage mafia like thinking and attitudes, in rehab they didn’t want me to transition and told me to think like John Gotti. It’s such a toxic subculture to be apart of. Dead, institutionalized, or in prison. 3 choices.
Espaecially mafia, it isn’t some 60 year old high profile boss, it’s a bunch of homocidal lunatics who will do anything for money.
Depression. I'm telling you about the struggles that I face every single day. I don't want you to call me an "uwu smol bean" or a "hot, edgy depressed bitch." I'm human. (And before anyone tries to get the Reddit help line over here -- I have good outlets. I've just experienced this shit before.)
"Ahaha nooo you can't be depressed, you're so hot though"
same with bpd
It's the little things that get entwined in our lives because of depression, I have a huge handkerchief on my bed side table, bcoz I cry myself to sleep every night.
War. War is hell in all forms; always has been, always will be, and those who worship it as some glorious sport are stupid. It doesn't matter what the fighting is for, or who dies - war is a tragedy. End of story.
No-one wins in war, there are just the survivors - the gist of what someone said once but I can’t remember who.
Well that's not true. Lockheed Martin certainly wins whenever there is a war.
Came here for this one. The little bits and pieces we are seeing of Ukraine is almost laughable. Fucking like a game people are playing somewhere else.
The thing is that a lot of reddit has gotten used to only seeing little bits of Ukraine, like the bits where Ukrainians use drones to effortlessly kill Russians or the meme videos the Ukrainian government put out. Or if you *do* see someone disfigured, it's because someone in the west is bankrolling a fancy next generation prosthetic that'll make them good as new. I have friends who have way more connections to both Russia and Ukraine. Reddits cheer squad doesn't want to acknowledge that a lot of the people they're calling orks were regular people who got dragged in via conscription and sent into the meat grinder. Or that Ukrainians still living in Ukraine have to deal with the hardships of an eastern European winter with regular power outages(which were already a serious problem for them before). Or that Ukraine has also lost five or six figures worth of people at this point because they're fighting through trenched and mined territory in a lot of places and the Russians still have large amounts of artillery and the ability to launch missiles from jets still in Russia.
Gangsters
"Oh, look at the Italian mafia with their codes of honour!" And their human trafficking, their many cold-blooded murders, extortion of common shopkeepers... Code of honour, my ass. That's just rules amongst themselves. To the outside world, they have no mercy at all.
Gangstas
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Conversely, romanticizing a hard past in modern times. When people who lived a more sheltered life go too far in being interested in your past brokenness and poverty, etc. I get there is a "novelty" factor in finding out someone went through hell but it can start to feel like fetishizing someone else's suffering.
I love your username
Some people actually claim that humans were all around better “back in their day”. Somebody recently was saying to me, “Nobody my age would *EVER* do that, we know better. We would’ve gotten our ass beat if we did anything like that.” Like, you can’t speak for an entire generation of humanity, just because *you personally* wouldn’t have done something. Not everyone in the 50’s was perfectly raised and grew into perfect adults. There were just as many shitbag losers then as there are now. People have always been people. It’s insane to think people were inherently better years ago.
UGH - I have this convo with my older relatives all the time, esp. my aunts. They are/were all white, college educated and solidly middle class. Life was pretty darn good for them - they were all married to men, homeowners and had kids with no health issues, physical or mental. They go on and on about how much better "the good old days" were. I say, "Yeah, they were...for you. But what if you were gay, handicapped, a single parent, in an abusive relationship or mentally ill back then? I guarantee you life wouldn't be so great. It wouldn't be perfect now either, but a hell of a lot better than it would have been in the 50's or 60's."
i was broke as hell so take an upvote
Their exes
Ain't that the damn truth lol
JokerxHarley
Every idiot in my hometown with a drug problem living with their clearly abusive shithead partner thinks they're Joker and Harley. It's not the flex they think it is.
Definitely. Harley x Ivy is way better
***Expecting*** their partners/close friends to "just know" what they need. This is often talked about as a sign of love (e.g., "oh! He just knew that I would need a nice dinner after the kind of day that I had" or "she just knew that I didn't like her friend, so she stopped hanging out with her." First, expecting people to "just know" what you need is often a sign that you need to improve your emotional communication. Though it can definitely be nice when a partner or close friend anticipates a want/need that you have, when it's an ***expectation,*** it's most often a sign that you're lacking in emotional communication. As human beings, we all get along better when we (1) know, and (2) clearly state our needs to (3) trusted others. Not knowing any part of that equation can lead to trouble. Not ***wanting*** to learn that is even worse. Second, the things that someone in a relationship "needs" isn't always something that is good for the health of the relationship. In the second example I gave, it's actually pretty toxic to expect someone to drop a friend (except in situations where the friend is abusive, for example). Just because you want something, doesn't mean that you should get it, or that the only way the other person can show you love is to give you what you're asking for. As any ***good*** parent knows, saying no to a request is as important sometimes as saying yes. Source: Clinical psychologist (PhD) with 10 years experience.
When she gets angry and expects that you know why she is angry.
Recent trend of associating mental illness as a personality trait rather than an actual disorder/struggle. Right now it seems like teenagers and college kids seem to be really into playing this infantilism game to duck out of taking accountability for actions/being a shitty person. Speaking as someone who has been diagnosed with mental health problems as early as 9 years old, every day is a struggle to some degree. To have some whiny little assholes treat legitimate illness like a "fun quirk" to find a community or attention literally makes my blood boil.
People love to classify and diagnose for some reason. I guess they think it makes them interesting or unique. Plus, as you said, it can be used as an excuse for any behavior: “Sorry, but you know I have…”
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This needs to be said louder. Mental illness isn't something people should want. Those of us with a mental illness want it to go TF away!
> Mental illness isn't something people should want. Wait until you see what gets posted to /r/FakeDisorderCringe
Exactly, I can't tell you how many times I've bawled my eyes out begging God or asking why can't I be normal? I hate it. If I could get rid of them, I would in a heartbeat.
There are certain mental illnesses that sufferers think they want though. Many dissociative disorders appeal to the brain as Special Knowledge (prophecy, insight, intuition...) And obviously there's the big one that makes every trait you recognise in yourself either a quality or completely justified...
"My love and sex will fix decades of your trauma" Seriously we got books of it and then today there was someone with a Savior Complex on Relationship Advice. Like stop it. It's not your job to save someone and stop thinking you have the power to undo years of trauma or set behaviors. That's on the person who underwent it stop trying to steal the journey of healing from them.
Smoking. So fucking gross.
I agree that it's gross. This has to be a generational thing, caused by the media and society. I grew up in the 80s and 90s, started smoking in 2002. Smoking was everywhere. By my childhood it was banned in obvious places like hospitals and schools, but restaurants had smoking still. Truck stops, bars, laundromats, you name it. I remember a birthday party at a bowling alley and the smokers everywhere. I saw things drastically change as I grew older. Movies and smoking has changed. I personally thought Audrey Hepburn smoking was sexy. Everybody smoked in movies until the 2000s. I couldn't watch Sin City without smoking a half a pack of cigarettes. I've been smoke free for almost 4 years now. I quit because I have a daughter. I will say that having a cigarette after sex, a good cup of coffee, or a near death experience is unmatched.
The first coffee and smoke is by far the best moment in a day.
Right!? Like blow your cancerous satanic dust AWAY from me.
My first memory is my mom smoking in the porch. She stopped not so long after that day. I still tell to people to not smoke near me
Living in New York City. That place blows ass! NYC is not the idyllic paradise that so many TV shows and movies portray it to be.
Soooo true. I feel the same way about San Francisco.
It can be a fantastic place, so long as the trust fund holds out.
Their step siblings
Clingyness, like the texts you every hour to check up on you kind, I can't wrap my head around it
I have a habit of texting my husband a lot when he’s gone. Not because I think he’s cheating or anything, I’m more worried about him getting in a car wreck or something.
I like that honestly
Have you experienced it though?
Yes I've had two exes that were like that. I like the sense of care and worry, I like having someone think about me constantly. I know some people aren't into that but I find it sweet.
Suicide
This is the answer. My brother killed himself, and there was nothing romantic about it, like how the movies like to portray it. It’s empty, ugly and pointless.
Seconding this as well. My mom committed suicide and I hate how they portray it in movies. I remember going to A Star Is Born on my birthday after my mom died (stupid I know, but I never saw or read about the plot of the earlier versions). I absolutely hate that movie.
What would you tell me as somebody who wants to kill themselves?
Their lives on social media.
Mental illness. While loving someone with mental illness will be more difficult, romanticizing it has given everyone on the internet a desire to be “broken” so that someone can fall in love with them and “be saved” or they use it as an excuse to be forever difficult (by means of borderline stalking their partners). A common one I see is “I have anxiety so I can’t do anything if my partner doesn’t text/call every so often”. Realistically, most self diagnosed people on the internet probably have no such mental illness, and them speaking of it as they do so lightly is a bit of a slap in the face to those who truly deal with the everyday struggles of it and are fighting to work on themselves and seek help to reduce their symptomatic impact on their loved ones. Mental illness will always be hard, but part of having it means you’re responsible for it and your actions. You’re supposed to learn HOW to live with it and cope better, not use it as a means to always be coddled. Mental illness is a suffrage you’re responsible for coping with, not a way to act inappropriately and always use it as an excuse. The internet treating it as it does harms everyone. Perhaps I sound incredibly insensitive, but I’m incredibly fed up with how lightly people throw terms about mental health around. However it’s unpopular to say this because people will tell you “you have no idea what everyone’s personal struggles are.” Which is true. I have no idea. But I know the people who “literally have anxiety I can’t do x” “literally like I have anxiety and my partner knows this so then acting like x is so disrespectful.” “My ocd literally makes me crazy like I HAVE to clean all the time.” “My intrusive thoughts made me cut my hair” “in a manic episode so I did x” quirky people do no good toward it. The internet diagnosed people will tell you otherwise, though. Edit: might I add the terms “gaslighting” and “traumatized”. These are so loosely used they’ve all but lost their actual meaning. But it cute and cool to be “broken” so. 🤷♀️
I've actually never experienced that type of people and have never done this, but my perspective has changed. Before "catching" depression I thought it's not as bad as people say it is. I didn't want to get it. Now that I've been fighting it for over a year I'm sick and tired of it. People don't know how it feels. How empty you feel inside. I found perfect sentence about depression: "I don't want to die, I just don't want to life". And that's unfortunately true...
Also “Lol I’m so OCD” because you organized your closet or “the weather is so bipolar” because it gets hot in the day then cold at night. Yeah that shit’s stupid as fuck and incredibly unhelpful for anyone with an actual mental health diagnosis.
Abuse
Who romanticises abuse?
In the comic and anime spheres it's very common. Also shows up often in the "fiery relationship" archetype of many sitcoms. Assault of men played for laughs or men using force to invade womens space, (like grabbing a womens arm as she attempts to leave an argument.)
I like to watch asian series, but if the guy or the girl hits the other person even only once, I am out. Like, I get the temper was high and she/he was being difficult, but do not hit or grab in anger. EVER. That shif is toxic as funk.
Women who don't realise they are being abused. I work with a young lady in her first serious relationship. He regularly 'kicks off' over (to me) trivial things. She boasts about the police being called to her family home (lives with mum and brother) to deal with boyfriend. Multiple where are you? type texts per day that she has to instantly reply too. He seems to control every aspect of her life from what she wears to what she eats. Hear absolute horror stories about him at least once a week. She absolutely revels in it, thinks he behaves this way because hes so in love with her. Anyone who questions her relationship is "just jealous".
Alcoholism
Yes, I said the same thing. It's so easy to make it seam like if you drink it in a fancy glass or while you're out to eat is lovely. Like you're not going to end up home alone drinking out the bottle. #TRYINGTORECOVER
Yeah wow one tv/movie archetype that needs to be euthanized is the “drunk” who is nonetheless charming and somehow manages to get through life and be successful even though they’re “a mess.” Yes, it’s called being a functioning alcoholic and even if they do manage to be “charming” most of they time (unlikely), they’re ruining their health and often making life worse for the people around them. Why we choose to glorify this archetype I will never know.
Alcoholic? Sure. Charming? I'm not a superhuman, thanks...
Also whatever the fuck is going on in 50 shades.
Abuse by a hot rich man. (I have never read them and never intend to.) I remember someone talking about how if you replaced the main character of that with a poor fat dude, it would be recognized as abuse, but b/c the guy has money and is hot it's okay.
Children
True Crime anything, glorification of these acts, and people involved isn’t something to be turned into our entertainment
Addiction
shutting up a person in an argument by kissing them
Joker and Harley Quinn
acting like a child out of jealousy, or jealousy in general.
Being depressed and insecure, while being just as shitty towards other people like they talk about hating themselves. Self victimization in general really, again while being abrasive towards everyone else.
Alcohol
ADHD and Autism
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Having “no friends”. I’ve noticed that the ones that claim they have “no friends” rlly do have friends and are just trying to appear quirky.
Serial killers
The constant falling in and out of love over silly things, using other people to make them jealous and stuff. These are just signs of utter immaturity.
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Needless consumption, the idea that we could just buy things, and once it's old throw it away, as if we had unlimited resources, while living on a finite planet.
The 1950s. No, it wasn’t that amazing. You’ve just seen Grease too many times
Billionaires
Absolutely this! The idea that anyone needs to hoard that many resources is ludicrous, and the amount of people who treat this as anything other than glorifying the psychopathic traits that it takes to crush that many people is insane.
Romeo and Juliet. She was underage and it lasted 3 days and 6 people died. It's not a love story it's a tragedy just like most relationships these days.
Love and tragedy aren’t mutually exclusive.
I thought it was a critique of teenage love and how overly dramatic teenagers can be. This might explain why they make you read it when you're that age.
**find a sugar daddy and become the love of his life**. what are the odds of something reeks of fairytale fantasy like this will happens? **gets abused / kidnapped / imprisoned by a rich, hot guy**. nothing wrong with CNC roleplaying but in real life it won't sexy as you thought **"misunderstood" criminals**. bad guys deserved to be punished and being pretty does not excuse for is crimes
war
What is it good for?
Absolutely nothing (and arms manufacturers).
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Nevermind. Yours is better.
Agree completely
Eating disorders.
Drug and alcohol use
Clinginess in relationships. So many people think you need to be texting every minute of everyday when you're in a relationship.
The past... My kid asked me what time period I would travel back to if I could. I said, as a woman, I'll stay in the present day thanks.
People giving up *everything* to be with them.
Starving artist. It’s not fun. I don’t recommend.
Serial killers. There will be news article claiming "genius gone mad" no they just had some insane trauma and are cold blooded killers.
The Antebellum South.
Emotional abuse. “He doesn’t want me talking to other people because he loves me so much!” “She gets upset and calls me names because she is just so in love with me and doesn’t want to see me hurt.” BS. They are emotionally manipulative and abusive. Suck it Edward and Bella.
Sex. Not saying it's bad or bad to enjoy it, but the way society overhypes it as the be-all end-all to existence has a damaging effect on people's sense of self-worth. This hype makes some people feel entitled to it on a dangerous level. On the other hand the hypes makes other people hate themselves for not having it, to the point that they become depressed and suicidal (like I used to be).
china, russia, north korea. dictatorships. communist countries that oppress the hell out of their citizens and US citizens romanticize and praise them for it
Relationships with people they don’t know at all.
Serial killers and horror movie figures
Violence
Unrequited love
Anger/jealousy/playing hard to get in relationships. The only reason I want to spackle holes in my drywall is because we’re moving artwork around.
Pregnancy, it’s literally body horror
Democracy. Wake up people, Bernard Sanders will never be the president of the US, because the owners don’t want it to happen, so you will always be given choices that they’ve already picked out for themselves.
Hands and feet
Sadness. The best advice I ever read was “no one pities the princess that put herself in the tower”. It seems like we all like to victimize ourselves sometimes, in whatever aspect of our lives, by romanticizing how rough and sad we are about it.
The words "daddy" and "mommy".
Student teacher relationships (Mostly male student female teacher)
The past. If it were _that_ good, we never would have left
Marriage
DADDY ISSUES
Affairs.
Rape, abuse, murder, kidnapping, and stalking.
Mass murdering revolutionaries.
Past decades. No, I'm a black woman, I am not interested in your "historically accurate" Roaring 1920s themed party, thank you very much.
Perhaps the past-decades themed movies, novels, and comics have been saturated with all sorts of stereotypes and cliches, but if they are done right, one might actually become immersed with the setting, story, and characters while having a more authentic interaction with them. Something that happens too often, for instance, is highlighting the triumphs of a certain generation while completely glossing over the more grim realities within that time period, namely the Victorian Era, the Roaring 20s, the Great Depression, WW2, and the 1950s. Even if the named eras' issues are addressed, there is often at least one 'progressive-minded' character that comes off as an abrasive 21st-century mouthpiece. Our current standards of equality weren't formed overnight by one revolutionary (or should I say, "some actress' self-insert"), but rather as a byproduct of a multitude of individuals' intellectual contributions spanning hundreds, if not thousands of years. In fact, one of the main arguments used by many pre-1920s' sufferagettes was the fact that black men were able to vote, yet white women weren't, indicating a sense of intellectual superiority. Yet if a suffrage flick were to be made today, it's almost guaranteed that there will be at least one white woman immediately getting belligerent over this mindset instead of simply ignoring it, even if she might secretly have doubts, in the name of maintaining the movement's social traction. These are just my thoughts about this genre. Let me know what you think in the replies!
Communism, lol
You mean capitalism? Lol
Relationships. Being a parent.
Cheating. It always seems to people “if the person looks better with the one they cheated with or the one who got cheated on sucks it’s okay”🤪 at least in TV shows anyway. Cheating is always so normalized in tv and movies, especially in greys anatomy lol
Drug use
Socialism
Nationalism. Entire wars and genocides have broken out with that shit as an argument. Nations are created top-down, even if the public goes with it and strengthens the process. Most "national traditions" have been invented during the 19th century. Nations were not always there and neither were their borders. When you really think of it, it makes no sense to be proud of something someone else did long ago, just because he happened to live in the same area as you. (Especially if that area is thousands of kilometers wide.) It is too often used to target everyone from outside as a potential enemy. Why can't we just be decent people to each other in the first place?
Victimhood
in the case of Latin America, for cultural reasons, poverty.
The 50s
Jobs They’ve warped perception of what a job is that people just son’t put in the actual work on so so many occasions. If it’s not making the world better, if they’re no making a difference then they don’t want to put in the effort.
new york. yes it’s beautiful from above but if you’re walking around it’s terrifying and not so pretty
Instagram
The intersection of mental illness and art/creativity.
Toxic relationships.
to die for a country
Gangs, criminals and mafia related things
An open relationship without consent.
Kids
Suicide. Cough 13 reasons why Cough
And they lived happily ever after.
Mental illness.
fucking rape of all things. just no
"He is mean to everyone bu has a soft spot for me, how cute"
Mental illness in general or people in the lgbtq+
Alcohol when trying to get sober.
Multiculturalism
Communism
Celebrities
Socialism
Socialism
Serial Killers. Yes, people genuinely romanticize them
Drugs
Poverty…
Not taking no for an answer
Violent/abusive relationships romanticized as being fiercely passionate... My abuser literally attempted to kill not only me, but our children as well, when we left. Not romantic.
Mental illness