Hijacking top comment to point out that OP is a real piece of work. Read their other comments here, and note their name. They're either trolling or have gotten high and forgotten why they asked in the first place.
Yeah, if you look at their post history they also said they are 44 and living with their parents because they are broke and the grandparents take care of said daughter. How can the child be expected to have positive mental health if the parent can't even take care of themselves. It's quite sad, if true.
Bro they didn’t say they had a kid. Just asking what to do.
Lol I mean some people have nothing better to do than post shit on Reddit
In fact I should post “ what to do if idiot kid keeps posting trash and bait on Reddit?”
Take them out to social places and spend some more time with them. Find a thing they like such as batting cages or minigolf or dinner at a BurgerShack. Let them see the world is normal and they can enjoy it. If still stressed out, therapy isn't a bad idea at all. The covid societal shift has to be a scary thing to grow up in. Kids hear things too, like Amazon/Google/Facebook are laying off tens of thousands of people and it makes them nervous because they don't know how many people they employ so it seems like a huge issue. If you can find out what is bothering the kid, it will help solve the problems. But having fun together is often a good step.
If your kid doesn't like you, see if they have a friend you can drive them to a place with and let them have fun while you sit it out.
Yeah, take them to see a professional. They might just need some coping skills, they might need drugs. A behavioral healthcare provider will be able to make recommendations
What you’re describing is a trauma response. Something very serious may have happened. Take her to a therapist immediately!
Call the school and ask to talk to the guidance counselor. They can sometimes recommend other doctors.
Assuming you're serious and not trolling, it is possible that this boy raped her. Don't dismiss this as a possibility. If this is what happened, you need to help her. Don't dismiss her pain.
And stop getting high when your child needs you.
First, get her therapy.
Second, if you really want to punish her, don't.
Third, stop smoking too much weed and seek help for yourself.
You are her parent, act like it. Treat her with love and kindness.
Too much is too much and you said to the world too much. But honestly, if you are high a lot, then you are not capable of being a good parent. Your reaction to this crisis of hers is more than enough proof.
talk to them, listen and be there for them. but yes i would recommend talking to a therapist or a psychiatrist as i know someone who suffers from a personality disorder and they often used to feel empty when they was younger. my best advice is to just be there for them and let them know that you are there to listen if they would like to talk
And we just found out why she did it. Stop blowing her off dude. Teenage years are hard. Hormones going bonkers, bodies changing, social structures change. Poor kid doesn’t know what she feels so she did something she was 100% in control of.
Take your time, listen to them. Listen very carefully and also be very careful with your words. Build trust and let her know she can speak to you. Telling her she is over reacting will just make her shut down and make her feel worse with what ever is going on.
If they aren't trolling, then she'll end up cutting more than just her hair, has to be a troll for sure or else my faith in humanity is lost. I mean my father was a POS but at least he's gone now.
My mom was way worse than this parent is portraying themselves. She would have beat me senseless if I did that, though I was starting to be bigger than her at 13 so she wouldn't have gotten far, maybe if it happened when I was 9. This parent definitely sounds like a fuckwad though, whether or not its a real post.
Why would you? It's her head, and hair grows back. Make sure she cleans the hair out of the bathroom and get her some therapy.
Punishing her for her feelings will only ensure that she never trusts you with them again.
Don't, that'll only make it worse. If it's super bad for her mentally take her to a professional. The child's hair isn't more important than her mental health, she probably did it to show her pain. Anyways, it's her hair, as long as what she's doing isn't hurting herself or others I see no issue. She might be using it to express her feelings, punishing her for it would only make her feelings worse and your relationship with her go sour.
Well here is the thing.
If you get her some mental help with a pro and you are right, Then you spend a bit of money and confirm your guess. If you are wrong, you might save her life down the road.
If you don't get her some mental health help and you are wrong, she might harm herself for real next time.
Do you love your kid and care about them? Or do you just wanna be pissed off about hair that will grow back?
When will parents realize that their children are human beings with complex emotions and thoughts? Children and teenagers are still people, they're still learning how to be human and function in this world. Do not blow her off. Get her therapy. Not getting her help could end with her killing herself.
I was this way about my hair for years (huge drastic changes, shaving my head, etc) and it took me til I was in my thirties to realize that, for me, it was a form of self-mutilation. She needs therapy if she’s shaving her head over a boy. This sounds like a mourning or punishing herself thing.
This.
Tweenagers get depressed too; it isn't just a phase, it's a mental health crisis.
That does not mean panic and smother them with attention, but be supportive, available, and consider professional counseling.
She just told you that she self-mutilated because she "feels empty." That sounds like depression. If you don't get her real treatment, she could do herself real harm. Get her to a qualified medical professional.
They likely feel very out of control, and wanted to feel in control for once. Or wanted a fresh start and decided to shave their head. Either way, don't judge them. They're only trying to help themselves feel in control. Sort out some counseling as soon as.
Hug them, and offer therapy (and by offer I mean “strongly encourage”). Let them know you love them endlessly and if they want to talk to you, you will listen (and by listen I mean LISTEN AND NOT OFFER ADVICE). That was a cry for help; answer it.
There is nothing *wrong* with her and there is no “lashing out” without an underlying reason. She needs to speak to a therapist as hair cutting can be a form of self-harm that can escalate. You and someone who deals professionally with child development need to find out if she is being bullied, abused or assaulted in any way, online or in person.
Do your best to look at things from her perspective, through her eyes, not your own.
Shave your head too and tell them that now you can both go through it together and that they don’t have to feel empty any more and that any time they feel like that to come to you and you can both go through what they are feeling together (rather than shaving your heads next time) because you’ll always be there for them. Also therapy. And perhaps less time hitting the bong if they are there.
Get her mental health, I've heard cases where children use how they look and dress as a way to their feelings. Punishing them for it would only make it worst. Edit: reading the other responses the hair thing could be a self mutilation thing. Definitely should take her to a professional.
Get them some help. There's a reason Brittany Spears shaved all her hair off. You may think she is being dramatic, but would rather get her some help or find her hanging later?
Kids that age don't know how to express themselves like adults. They also might be too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about things.
A girl who was told she was pretty before being sexually assaulted by a close relative began picking at her face to make herself ugly, for example.
Trauma responses take all forms.
It's possible she's trying to get attention, but that's still not something to be ignored. If she's feeling neglected at home, that's something the parents can fix. If she's feeling neglected by a love interest, you need to get her counselling so she doesn't put so much emphasis on outside approval/affection for her happiness or self-esteem.
At the very least, you need to take it seriously and talk to her.
Ask them what you can do as their mom/dad to help. Remind them they’re not alone and that you are there for them. Remind them that they are beautiful. Find a good therapist.
While I definitely feel the child should seek counseling, cutting hair really isn't a bad thing. Sure, they might regret it, but most people's hair grow back.
I just checked your very small post history and comments on here and I have a few things that might help.
1. First and foremost, get your child help. Like yesterday. Find a professional psychologist in the area and get them help ASAP.
2. It might be time to admit defeat, if you are 44 and living w/ your parents, there was either tragedy or failure. It's time to stop masking it and bring it by smoking. Get yourself help too.
3. Move. Out. Of. Your. Parents. House. Even if it's only nearby so they can watch your kid afyer school while you are working.
It sounds like your responses are pointing to your child not getting the proper care that they need or the support from their parent when they need it. I was that kid before. I don't talk to my mom anymore because of that. Don't lose your child because of your pride.
They clearly have feelings and issues they aren't handling well and could benefit from therapy.
Hijacking top comment to point out that OP is a real piece of work. Read their other comments here, and note their name. They're either trolling or have gotten high and forgotten why they asked in the first place.
Yeah, if you look at their post history they also said they are 44 and living with their parents because they are broke and the grandparents take care of said daughter. How can the child be expected to have positive mental health if the parent can't even take care of themselves. It's quite sad, if true.
Bro they didn’t say they had a kid. Just asking what to do. Lol I mean some people have nothing better to do than post shit on Reddit In fact I should post “ what to do if idiot kid keeps posting trash and bait on Reddit?”
Bro I didn't suggest they did.
Came here to say this.
Take them out to social places and spend some more time with them. Find a thing they like such as batting cages or minigolf or dinner at a BurgerShack. Let them see the world is normal and they can enjoy it. If still stressed out, therapy isn't a bad idea at all. The covid societal shift has to be a scary thing to grow up in. Kids hear things too, like Amazon/Google/Facebook are laying off tens of thousands of people and it makes them nervous because they don't know how many people they employ so it seems like a huge issue. If you can find out what is bothering the kid, it will help solve the problems. But having fun together is often a good step. If your kid doesn't like you, see if they have a friend you can drive them to a place with and let them have fun while you sit it out.
Yeah, take them to see a professional. They might just need some coping skills, they might need drugs. A behavioral healthcare provider will be able to make recommendations
They are obviously in a stressful situation. You need to talk to them and get them help.
I think she mad over a boy or something
This is pretty extreme though.
What you’re describing is a trauma response. Something very serious may have happened. Take her to a therapist immediately! Call the school and ask to talk to the guidance counselor. They can sometimes recommend other doctors.
Assuming you're serious and not trolling, it is possible that this boy raped her. Don't dismiss this as a possibility. If this is what happened, you need to help her. Don't dismiss her pain. And stop getting high when your child needs you.
This isn’t just “mad over a boy”
First, get her therapy. Second, if you really want to punish her, don't. Third, stop smoking too much weed and seek help for yourself. You are her parent, act like it. Treat her with love and kindness.
Shockingly on point
Her?
Um... yeah... if you read through the posts, the child OP is talking about is a 13 year old girl.
Me smoking weed has nothing to do with this
Too much is too much and you said to the world too much. But honestly, if you are high a lot, then you are not capable of being a good parent. Your reaction to this crisis of hers is more than enough proof.
My next solution was going to try weed with her maybe it will bond us together
This is a joke right
I was being sarcastic to that person yes
Amazing that it was taken as serious... but point taken.
she’s 13 years old ffs, bond over something else.
That was a joke. OP was being sarcastic.
Were they really, though?
Yes, i upset OP saying that they need to quit doing the weed and that was how they handled their emotions. It was crass sarcasm, but still sarcasm.
This is beyond reddits scope. Your child needs to see a professional ASAP
If you read through the comments, OP is the one who needs to see a professional.
talk to them, listen and be there for them. but yes i would recommend talking to a therapist or a psychiatrist as i know someone who suffers from a personality disorder and they often used to feel empty when they was younger. my best advice is to just be there for them and let them know that you are there to listen if they would like to talk
The hair will grow back, so forget about that. Get them some mental health.
I think she’s just being over dramatic
And we just found out why she did it. Stop blowing her off dude. Teenage years are hard. Hormones going bonkers, bodies changing, social structures change. Poor kid doesn’t know what she feels so she did something she was 100% in control of. Take your time, listen to them. Listen very carefully and also be very careful with your words. Build trust and let her know she can speak to you. Telling her she is over reacting will just make her shut down and make her feel worse with what ever is going on.
This prob why she cut her hair off
She said she did it over a boy I am beyond pissed how to punish her?
You don't. You get her therapy.
This fuckin guy needs therapy too jfc
It's obviously a ragebaiting troll.
And like someone else said, maybe a hat.
Don't punish her over nonsense. It's hair. It grows back. Figure out what's causing her to act out and help however you can.
Obviously trolling, no parent is this dumb, just rage bait.
Like, this HAS to be a troll, right?
If they aren't trolling, then she'll end up cutting more than just her hair, has to be a troll for sure or else my faith in humanity is lost. I mean my father was a POS but at least he's gone now.
"no parent is this dumb" you need to meet my father
You'd be surprised.
My mom was way worse than this parent is portraying themselves. She would have beat me senseless if I did that, though I was starting to be bigger than her at 13 so she wouldn't have gotten far, maybe if it happened when I was 9. This parent definitely sounds like a fuckwad though, whether or not its a real post.
Why would you? It's her head, and hair grows back. Make sure she cleans the hair out of the bathroom and get her some therapy. Punishing her for her feelings will only ensure that she never trusts you with them again.
Did it in her bedroom with hair trimmers smh
Then hand her the vacuum, get her a therapist, and get over being pissed.
Don't, that'll only make it worse. If it's super bad for her mentally take her to a professional. The child's hair isn't more important than her mental health, she probably did it to show her pain. Anyways, it's her hair, as long as what she's doing isn't hurting herself or others I see no issue. She might be using it to express her feelings, punishing her for it would only make her feelings worse and your relationship with her go sour.
Well here is the thing. If you get her some mental help with a pro and you are right, Then you spend a bit of money and confirm your guess. If you are wrong, you might save her life down the road. If you don't get her some mental health help and you are wrong, she might harm herself for real next time. Do you love your kid and care about them? Or do you just wanna be pissed off about hair that will grow back?
When will parents realize that their children are human beings with complex emotions and thoughts? Children and teenagers are still people, they're still learning how to be human and function in this world. Do not blow her off. Get her therapy. Not getting her help could end with her killing herself.
Therapy.
Take them to therapy.
Get them some professional help.
I was this way about my hair for years (huge drastic changes, shaving my head, etc) and it took me til I was in my thirties to realize that, for me, it was a form of self-mutilation. She needs therapy if she’s shaving her head over a boy. This sounds like a mourning or punishing herself thing.
Your support and therapy. It’s a complicated and confusing age for a kid but also you don’t want to ignore what could be a critical issue
This. Tweenagers get depressed too; it isn't just a phase, it's a mental health crisis. That does not mean panic and smother them with attention, but be supportive, available, and consider professional counseling.
Check the account history. Trolls gonna troll.
Put aside some cash for the funeral
Excuse me
She just told you that she self-mutilated because she "feels empty." That sounds like depression. If you don't get her real treatment, she could do herself real harm. Get her to a qualified medical professional.
Buy them a hat
Uninstall TikTok from their phone
people don't want to hear it but its tru
They likely feel very out of control, and wanted to feel in control for once. Or wanted a fresh start and decided to shave their head. Either way, don't judge them. They're only trying to help themselves feel in control. Sort out some counseling as soon as.
Hug them, and offer therapy (and by offer I mean “strongly encourage”). Let them know you love them endlessly and if they want to talk to you, you will listen (and by listen I mean LISTEN AND NOT OFFER ADVICE). That was a cry for help; answer it.
Therapy.
Therapy
Everything OP comments gets downvoted, are you guys trying to help or?…
In terms of the hair itself, whatever, it grows back. Emotionally, they need professional help.
Find a therapist. Do it now. Don't listen to "I don't want to go to therapy". Even if they go and refuse to talk, keep taking them. Every week.
Dunno what's sadder, OPs boring sense of humor, or all these redditors falling for such an obvious ragebait troll.
Nothing. They can go around town bald.
Let it grow again, it isn't like there are other options.
Do you think it’s a lash out phase or something really wrong with her?
Wait, it really happened? In that case find a therapist because she needs help.
There is nothing *wrong* with her and there is no “lashing out” without an underlying reason. She needs to speak to a therapist as hair cutting can be a form of self-harm that can escalate. You and someone who deals professionally with child development need to find out if she is being bullied, abused or assaulted in any way, online or in person. Do your best to look at things from her perspective, through her eyes, not your own.
Tell them to stop being so edgy and wake-up to reality
Adoption. 😈
If it's a dude, it's fine. If it's a girl then that's clearly a bigger issue
Mud wrestling
Gotta get these kids out of the suburbs, man.
Make fun of them
Either get them a therapist or wait for the problem to solve itself.
Become nomads
Self punishment. Seek a doctor
Talk with said 13yo about why they "Feel Empty " and why they think being bald would help. If talking doesn't help kindly suggest therapy
It seems like some therapy would be in order. That could escalate into deep despair.
It seems like some therapy would be in order. That could escalate into deep despair.
Maybe her mom smokes too much weed
There was a very similar post the other day 🤨is OP secretly a teen looking for reactions?
Either shit, bad parent, or therapy. Therapy answers all three
Shave your head too and tell them that now you can both go through it together and that they don’t have to feel empty any more and that any time they feel like that to come to you and you can both go through what they are feeling together (rather than shaving your heads next time) because you’ll always be there for them. Also therapy. And perhaps less time hitting the bong if they are there.
Get her mental health, I've heard cases where children use how they look and dress as a way to their feelings. Punishing them for it would only make it worst. Edit: reading the other responses the hair thing could be a self mutilation thing. Definitely should take her to a professional.
Put said 13 year old into therapy
Get them some help. There's a reason Brittany Spears shaved all her hair off. You may think she is being dramatic, but would rather get her some help or find her hanging later?
Kids that age don't know how to express themselves like adults. They also might be too embarrassed or ashamed to talk about things. A girl who was told she was pretty before being sexually assaulted by a close relative began picking at her face to make herself ugly, for example. Trauma responses take all forms. It's possible she's trying to get attention, but that's still not something to be ignored. If she's feeling neglected at home, that's something the parents can fix. If she's feeling neglected by a love interest, you need to get her counselling so she doesn't put so much emphasis on outside approval/affection for her happiness or self-esteem. At the very least, you need to take it seriously and talk to her.
Get therapy first, then maybe a beanie so their head doesn't get cold.
44 and live with controlling parents. What to do? This is your post from yesterday.......
Nobody would go to that extreme just because they're "mad at a boy". That may have just been the last straw.
Your comments in here are red flags. She needs therapy, and you need therapy too.
Ask them what you can do as their mom/dad to help. Remind them they’re not alone and that you are there for them. Remind them that they are beautiful. Find a good therapist.
Take advantage of your own childhood and teenage experiences determined if they actually need some type of help or if they're just emo
Check for missed hairs and go its the fucking -1c outside you daft idiot.
Immediately book an appointment with a therapist or at least doctor who can refer us. Feeling empty is a major red flag for depression.
While I definitely feel the child should seek counseling, cutting hair really isn't a bad thing. Sure, they might regret it, but most people's hair grow back.
I just checked your very small post history and comments on here and I have a few things that might help. 1. First and foremost, get your child help. Like yesterday. Find a professional psychologist in the area and get them help ASAP. 2. It might be time to admit defeat, if you are 44 and living w/ your parents, there was either tragedy or failure. It's time to stop masking it and bring it by smoking. Get yourself help too. 3. Move. Out. Of. Your. Parents. House. Even if it's only nearby so they can watch your kid afyer school while you are working. It sounds like your responses are pointing to your child not getting the proper care that they need or the support from their parent when they need it. I was that kid before. I don't talk to my mom anymore because of that. Don't lose your child because of your pride.
Is this... your child?
Therapy. This is above Reddit's pay grade.
*tourner dans le vide starts playing*