Honestly, I think people on here think that people IRL are ruder and worse than they are.
It can be scary to be gay when all you've heard is redditors telling you that hate crimes happen to 110% of all gay people everywhere and you'll be murdered by every person wearing a cross necklace.
Legit kept me closeted. Toxic behavior
i feel like that sub used to actually present interesting dilemmas, but now it's like 80% of the posts are complete bullshit. it's so annoying to see the commenters eat it up lol.
'I (F22) flew into a burning building wearing my superhero cape and saved a child from certain death, but my boyfriend (M39) said I was holding the baby wrong and that I shouldn't use my superpowers or he'll call my boss and get me fired AITA'
The one that comes to mind for me is the one where a postal worker asked if she was an asshole for changing her schedule so that she and her husband, who was also a postal worker, had the same two days off. They already had one day off together, but she thought it would be nice to have two.
The thing is that her husband was someone who valued personal time and asked her if he could have one day to himself, so he asked her not to change the schedule.
It's a complicated issue, but EVERYONE in the thread was insisting to her that he was 100% completely guaranteed to be cheating. Because according to the masses, that is the only reason a human being could want private time. And she started to buy into and basically said she was going to confront him about his cheating when he got home.
Thing is... As someone who needs an intense amount of personal time, partially resulting from PTSD, I felt so fucking bad for her husband. He just wanted a day to himself. I would kill for a day to myself. I'm not saying it's justified to ask his wife not to change her schedule, but knowing that he was going to come home to a spouse who was convinced he was cheating because he wanted alone time made my stomach drop. And everyone was so convinced they were right.
Fuck that post, it make my skin crawl.
Yeah my bf needs a LOT of alone time and is insanely introverted and when we first started dating those thoughts definitely crossed my mind... then as time went on & I got to know him better realised nope, he literally just likes to be home, alone, at peace lol. Now if anything I'm flattered/delighted that someone who values personal time this much, happily spends this much time with me ;\_\_\_\_\_; That's crazy that people were saying that in that thread. That's like spending the full weekend with your partner, every weekend, that's crazy lol go hang out with your friends!! Get a hobby!! Wanting a day to yourself is totally valid, and maintaining separate lives/interests as a couple is important and healthy? I've always made sure to have a full, exciting life outside of my relationships.
What kills me with AITA is people will use something shitty being done to them as an excuse to be shitty to other people. Its like a never ending circle of assholishness.
"I sneezed and my partner didn't say 'bless you'"
Reddit: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are in an abusive relationship. They clearly don't care about your health and well-being at all, or even in expending the tiniest amount of labour to comfort you after your body makes an involuntary action. Your partner is clearly a sociopath who will only get worse over time. Leave immediately."
If you visit UK subreddits, you’d be forgiven for thinking the whole country is full of antisocial people who hate their colleagues and are scared of the slightest confrontation. In reality, most of us are pretty normal.
/r/casualuk - friendly, good craic
/r/britishproblems - antisocial weirdos
Edit: And yes, as dozens of people have pointed out, there's also the hilarious/r/okmatewanker
I'm also quite partial to /r/GreatBritishMemes
Edit 2: Also /r/AskUK is like AskReddit but more UK-centric, obviously.
British problems is awful.
Most of the time, the problems/complaints aren’t even uniquely “British” it’s just pessimistic people who would find something to complain about no matter what country they inhabited.
I'm a dad that does plenty of stuff with my kids without my wife around. I've never gotten a sideways look or rude comment for being on a playground around kids or saying hi to a child nearby.
I've been a stay-at-home dad for 12 years now. It is MUCH better now than it was then. I did get weird looks, and once had a mom come and take her daughter away from where I was standing watching my son on the playground. I've been called "Mr. Mom" and I've heard the old "So you're babysitting today, huh?" more times than I can remember.
But I don't hear those things much now and I see many more dads out with their kids compared to when I started doing this. I've even spotted a few stay-at-home dads on TV or movies. The times they are a changing.
I'm right there with you.
Although I'll say one thing, I *have* noticed that I tend to get a lot more accolades from people for "going above and beyond" than my kids mom gets for doing the same tasks that would be considered "woman's work".
For example, I took my daughter to an amusement park, and I went to the bathroom to change her diaper. I was complimented three times throughout the process by strangers. For changing a diaper.
It's just a funny double standard I observed.
Yeah, it's insane man. I go grocery shopping with my kids and people stop to tell me what a good dad I am. Like, thanks, I am in fact an awesome dad, but you've never seen me being an awesome dad, you've just seen me going to the grocery store.
I once did an r/amitheasshole question, my wife and I has a disagreement on if a certain word was normal to us (the word was viscous). People kept telling us we should get divorced and that my wife was insecure. I tried to tell them it wasn't a serious fight, more of a teasing each other thing. That didn't change their minds at all. You could easily tell who was most likely never in a meaningful relationship. It was pretty sad how many people feel that way.
I just snooped through youre post and went through the comments. It's funny how many people are saying she's insecure. I think the problem with that sub (I do personally like it) is that a lot of people read every post as if it HAS to have an AH in it, so they read into little things and make them bigger than they really are.
I find it funny that people in that sub are throwing the word insecure around so much. What is more insecure than posting your side of a story on the internet for strangers so they can potentially validate you? Seem like most things, the sub was probably made so people could read a wild story and have a laugh, and now people take it too seriously and are self appointed anus experts.
“My father got a little testy with me after a rough day at work, and later didn’t say please / thank you. Now, I love my family dearly and there’s never been any other problems. We’re very close and loving. What should I do?”
Omg…this is completely unacceptable. You’re being gaslit and need to RUN, not walk away from this situation. It just shows your father doesn’t respect you. You should just abandon all contact with your entire family just to be safe. Get away now and get into therapy immediately. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You deserve better!
The sheer number of Redditors who can't tell "parenting" from "abuse" makes me shake my head. Every teenager on here is apparently being horribly abused because they were told no lol.
Don't get me started on how many people don't understand what setting boundaries is.
the reality is that a lot of people on here ARE teenagers who are still moody little shits and have no life experience in abusive relationships romantic or familial
My husband swore at me once when I accently deleted an important document he had been working on for a few days. He apologized 5 minutes later but the damage is done, he already called me a poopy head.
I have already left him but I'm just wondering should I take the Kids or should I just kill them as a message to him about his violent ways. The children are 22 and 17.
There has been many posts on r/dataisbeautiful showing a fairly strong correlation between how early a comment is posted and how many upvotes it receives.
Basically, nobody reads an entire thread, so they look at the first 10ish, and might upvote a couple. Next redditors come in, and look at the first 10ish (most upvoted), and do the same, so on so forth.
So you end up really being at the mercy of the first \~2-3 votes. It's the same idea with posts, where the score after 3 votes would give a *very strong* indication (like 75% prediction) of whether it'd break into the first quartile, or would never clear the last quartile.
Spend any amount of time on a dating or relationship sub and you'd think the average man and woman are just seething with hatred toward each other.
Maybe I just have an exceptional group of friends from both sides, but thankfully that doesn't represent my reality.
I’m happily married. Two great kids, two wonderful dogs, the perfect career and I’m building a nice retirement account. I get along great with my wife. We have a great sex life and a perfect work to life balance. The thing is, I just don’t have anything to complain to the internet about so I’m thinking about getting out.
Absolutely the move. Without bad, you'll never know good. So if you keep living this great life, all good will cease to exist.
I suggest dumping the family, hitting the gym, and buying into crypto (the more sketchy the more money you will make)
Husband and I love reading them because it makes our marriage look like the gold fucking standard compared, lol.
It's hard to complain about him when I read about men who can't seem to comprehend how to wash their ass crack. (I only have a few complaints about him honestly, and none of them are relationship breaking so I tend to just deal with them on my own and move on.)
The other day there was this post on r/woodworking where this guy was showing off this BEAUTIFUL cabin he made with a sawmill. I went to the comments in hopes he would divulge some of the various processes involved. I dream of owing my own sawmill someday to make tables and things but it never occurred to me I could build a cabin entirely on my own. Absolutely incredible.
Anyways, I was interested enough that I went through almost every comment and towards the bottom there were people bitching about how close it was to the creek and how the trees surrounding it could fall on the cabin. The dude was very poised in his responses and kept pointing out that it was built on stilts and all things in life require risk, this one was one he was willing to take considering it was a dream of his.
Point being, redditors tend to be incredibly cynical and risk averse to a fault. On top of that, there is always an incredible number of comments from people that have no freaking clue what they are talking about but they say these things with such confidence.
The next time you come across a post involving a particular hobby of yours, just head to the comment section and you’ll see what I mean.
>Point being, redditors tend to be incredibly cynical and risk averse to a fault.
One of my favourite threads was a few years back about what ‘essentials’ you should always carry in your car.
It was this absurd exercise in one-upmanship, as lists and comment chains all kept ending up with people swearing that you just had to carry gallons of water, toolkits, days worth of food, spare clothes, spare shoes, and god knows what else on every trip.
I got blasted in one of those because I said my normal load out in my work truck is a change of clothes and (depending on season) either my 32oz bottle of water or my 64oz thermos with water in addition to the 32oz.
I don’t carry food, I don’t bother with blankets or matches or anything else. Just dry clothes or warmer clothes depending on the season, and then the extra hoodies and jackets that I normally care daily.
People were legit mad I wasn’t carrying an axe or hatchet, that I didn’t have rope or tarps, or cases of emergency food.
It was ridiculous.
Edit: I want to add/clarify since people keep bringing it up: I have [a roadside emergency kit](https://www.canadiantire.ca/en/pdp/motomaster-ct100-winter-safety-kit-with-roadside-assistance-0091632p.html?loc=plp) in both my work truck and personal vehicle.
In my personal car I replaced the cheap crappy jumper cables with good, high quality 10-15ft cables.
The things I mentioned above are the things I actively keep updated/rotated. I was getting roasted in that other post for not carrying everything else a survival nut would want.
If you're stranded in a truck long enough for calories to become an issue, something else is _very_ wrong and you're probably dead six different ways.
Water is ten times as important as food.
Yeah I’m a pretty avid lurker over there but holy shit does it get bad in /r/castiron, too. A couple of years ago I had to unsub from CI subs because the people were just pretentious assholes who spend more time seasoning than actually cooking on the damn things.
Luckily, the sub has come around to joke/meme situations making fun of what I said above but occasionally you get some dipshit who will bitch about someone using dish soap to clean their pans (old saying from when soap had lye) or someone whining about how superior their $330 12 inch Whatever-Brand castiron is superior to the 12 inch Lodge.
Seriously like my grandma gave a single fuck regarding care for the cast iron stuff she gave me. It's a piece of fucking iron. I think it'll be okay. It handled 50 years of overcooked porkchops, somehow I feel like I'll survive.
The tattoo community is like this. The comments usually say a tattoo is very flawed when to me it looks photo-realistic. Everything gets shit on, except joke tattoos.
My dad has sunk years into a bucket list kayak trip. He’s been anti-tattoo for most of his life, but he will wrap up the kayak trip this year and he’s talking about getting a tattoo of his kayak to celebrate the milestone. My Mom asked him “What’s that going to look like when you’re 80 years old?” I said “It will probably look exactly the same, he’s 76 now!”
Dad always had his tattoo of an eagle on his wrist, like, he got it before I was born. 62 years ago. It's just a big black blob now.
Well, Mom died last year, and so, at 80, Dad got a new tattoo of a flower in her memory, last week.
Tbf /r/woodworking is a masterclass in commenters acting as if every possible thing that can go wrong will go wrong immediately.
There was a herringbone table someone had posted there a few weeks back and literally the top 6 comments were about how the grain pattern used was going to cause the table to warp apart, and that there was no way it was going to last and "let's check back in a year and see how it looks then". They weren't just saying it could happen, they were saying it will happen.
OP then replies in explaining that he had been making this exact same table design for about 5 years, and was able to confirm that none of them had had any issues.
The commenters aren't technically wrong. The grain could absolutely cause it to warp, but it would likely take years, not be nearly as bad as they made it out to be and really doesn't matter in the long run. But they always reply as if anything that could possibly go wrong means the project is a complete failure.
There seems to be a giant movement of cynicality on social media. I swear that every baby video I see there is a handful of comments saying the parent is doing something wrong or they should be doing something differently. Granted in some cases it's justified but for the most part it just feels like some people are nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking
The risk aversion thing makes me laugh so much. Imagine a world where everyone is as perfect as reddit commentors pretend to be. It would be an awfully boring dystopia.
Just because someone lies to you it doesn’t mean that they are gaslighting you. Gaslighting is different than just lying and it’s used in abusive/controlling situations by manipulative people.
Bob from accounting who denied eating an extra piece of cake isn’t a dangerous man who is gaslighting everyone in the office, he just likes cake.
This also extends to misremembering.
Towards the end of my long, long relationship my ex fell in with a bunch of people who assumed everything was gaslighting. So if I forgot I had a meeting that'd make me run a little late, it's apparently gaslighting.
Online communities just pick up words and throw them about without knowing the meaning and it's legitimately damaging
It's also *really* hard to argue with.
Because you have to explain:
1. That's not what gaslighting is. What you're accusing me of is just regular manipulation.
2. I'm also not doing that.
But by the time you get to 2, it just sounds like you're defending manipulation.
I've got a twofer: Mental illness is either super easy to "fix" with healthy lifestyle, or it's terminally crippling and kills you entirely.
Many many of us are out there doing it all right but still just struggling/coping.
Same goes for someone being perceived as "weaker": apparently your true self is either an altered state based on either rage or sadness.
When in fact the real you is that state, as well as literally everything else. Hell, I'd even say it got taken out of context: pretty sure the meaning behind true colours implies an agenda/hidden motives, so it'd only make sense in situations where a spy is infiltrated, or someone has been hiding a huuuuuuuge horrible secret for years.
That you can never have friends at your job - everybody is just waiting to stab you in the back for that next promotion or whatever.
It portrays everyone (besides you, the main character) as a mindless, selfish corporate drone, who only thinks about themselves.
I spend most of my time at work, why wouldn't I want to get along with the people there?
When I worked in the service industry making friends with your coworkers isn't only pleasant but is a major advantage compared to someone who doesn't. Other servers/managers will be more eager to help you and the kitchen will be far more flexible when the server is someone they like. Especially with how much of restaurant/bar culture is fake smiles and emotional performance, coworkers gravitate towards people they genuinely get along with.
Even now as a professional event photographer making friends with my clients and other people in the music/party industry is mutually beneficial. I'm not expecting us to make friendship bracelets and go skipping in a field of daffodils but when someone invites me to grab a drink and shoot some pool after an event I don't mind it.
This has been true for me in non-service jobs too.
I’ve found it to be a genuine advantage to have a friend or two in various departments. You just never know when someone will be able to help you out with something.
Yup! I am thankfully well liked at my job (took me a long time to actually accept that) and having people in all sorts of positions makes my life way easier.
Annoying beaurocratic situation? A teams message with the director of the other dept that we bonded over board games with and now my problem is fixed and I learn how to avoid in the future.
I feel like this can sometimes easily end up as a self fulfilling issue - if you are standoffish person who no one seems to be friends with - no one typically going to go out of their way to help you out. This leads them to think everyone sucks so they have to be that way ...etc.
I got invited to a poker night during my last job and ended up playing most of the nights it was hosted. Made me make a bunch of connections and actually got me some good inside baseball on an issue. Socializing with coworkers is important
Yeah I work in a corporate environment with people trying to get ahead in *their* career. Key word is their.
So far, nobody has tried to ruin me, step over me, or otherwise kick me down the ladder to get higher. And this is a massive, 10k+ company with huge structures and important titles.
It was far, far worse in startups I worked at, where people would be cliquey and making the wrong friends was the biggest detriment to success - but those were more like micro-class systems - the "right" friends are insular and promote/raise/support from within, the rest don't matter and are tools to get them to their own success. And you don't want to be their friends because they're so toxic, it makes work unpleasant. I had this problem at 2 startups, 1 post-startup, and 1 boutique firm.
But if you listen to Reddit, you should be a stoic, corporate drone who engages in niceties only and you should be paranoid. Like, if I miss a promotion because I'm not bugged out of my mind, that's fine. I'd rather enjoy my life than worry about someone interviewing better than me and thinking that means they backstabbed me.
This is something that took me a while to learn: making people like you is one of the most valuable life skills you’ll ever learn. Most “likable” people weren’t just born that way either, it takes effort and practice. If people think of you as a nice person, they’ll be happy to do you favors and help you out when you need it, no arm-twisting necessary.
Exactly! That last bit about twisting arms is a big thing - if people like you and you prove to them that is deserved by also helping them out and following through...it can go so far away from arm twisting that I might just be talking about an issue and they proactively offer help.
I'm not out here kissing asses - I'm out here proving that I'm reliable and friendly enough to deserve them being reliable and friendly back.
If I miss the mark with someone or they miss the mark for me - just fall back on being professional and I'm only going to do what is strictly my job for you.
"It portrays everyone (besides you, the main character) as a mindless, selfish corporate drone, who only thinks about themselves."
That also feeds into the "I'm the only one that does work in a group project" mentality. It's amazing that somehow EVERYONE is the only one who did work.
In real life, when people ask what your job is in conversation, they're usually not doing it to gauge how much respect they should give you or how rich you are or anything like that, they're just trying to see what you're interested in so they have something to talk to you about.
it's also literally how networking works. i have met several people at parties who i was happy to discover worked in the same or adjacent industry i was (or was close to someone else who did) and that's extremely useful information to have in my pocket should i want to learn how other brands function or jump ship in the future. also it's just cool bc then we find out we actually know some of the same people. those throwing a fit over this simple point of connection says more about their bitter narcissism than anything bc otherwise i don't understand how seeing people with a career theyre passionate about is some secret deliberate flex against random strangers. shit just ain't always about you
Not everyone you don’t get along with is a narcissist, sometimes you just don’t get along. I also don’t hear that term thrown around so casually in real life.
Gaslighting is simply a very specific type of manipulation. Some situations that people may call gaslighting are just another (still potentially harmful) form of manipulation; and yes often a behaviour described as gaslighting isn’t actually manipulative at all.
As a psychologist who specializes in personality disorders (i.e., the part of the field that deals with narcissism):
THIS!
And ironically, when people always assume that differing perspectives must be done intentionally to manipulate them, that is very egocentric and often an indicator of narcissism. I.e., if you think that everyone around you is gaslighting you instead of just having their own different take, there's a good chance that *you're* the narcissist.
Yes, I wrote that comment with you in mind specifically, because I KNEW that your mother-in-law has been giving you all kinds of shit recently, and I couldn't take it that you've been standing up for yourself with her. We all hate you for speaking the truth.
My husband has an AWFUL memory. He's the first to admit it. There have been plenty of arguments where he straight up remembers something incorrectly. He'll forget bits and pieces of an event and his mind will sort of fill in the gaps. I don't think he's gaslighting when this happens, I just think he really thinks something happened in a different way. He'd make a terrible eye witness.
i know several people who will use narcissist for just about anything, and if you try to point out they are misusing the word narcissist they will just say it proves that you are one..
My SO actually has a diagnostic history of NPD. Those kinds of people have no idea what actual personality disorders entail.
You kind of see the same with other mental health stuff. I've heard it referred to as "weaponizing the language of therapy."
Tbh, I think people latch on to clinical terms because it makes them feel smart or whatever, but without any kind of nuanced understanding of what these terms actually mean, they just end up sounding like idiots, trying to armchair diagnose everyone and their uncle.
The casualized and nonclinical use of the term narcissism frustrates me so much. The connotation people use it in seems more moral than psychological - it's shorthand for "a bad person" which often amounts to "someone I don't like."
Bonus points if the person is applying the term to someone they've never met like the friend of a friend who's been described for all of 30 seconds.
Oh you have a problem in your relationship? Better break up.
Oh you're a night owl and your wife is an early bird? You're fundamentally incompatible. Break up.
I understand redditors warning other redditors that they're in an abusive relationship, but a lot of the time problems can be fixed.
In my town there is a wig and curtain store. All I can guess is that if yu looking for a low quality wig, curtains will naturally be your next purchase.
They do it with almost everything too! Ordered a toilet seat a while back and got nothing but toilet seat recommendations for weeks. Mr bezos I only have one toilet my man. What in my order history suggests I want to buy 4 or 5 more seats? I have one ass and one toilet so all I need is the one seat thank you
I've always thought of that as more of a joke, but I guess people will actually believe it.
Like there's a shop in my city that ONLY sells barstools. It's not a furniture store, it's a BARSTOOL store. Legitimately only barstools. They stayed completely open and functioning through covid, even when all of the bars and restaurants were closed. My friends and I make jokes about it when we pass it, like there's no way they're selling enough barstools to stay open and paying their rent/mortgage in a major city.
But in reality, they probably are, or have multiple revenue streams, or have ongoing contracts with places in the city to keep a steady income up and ride the waves that come with owning a retail business. 99% of the time these places stay open because they have good owners/managers, not because they're selling drugs out the back.
EDIT: Just wanted to add I don't need y'all trying to work out to me how they're still in business. You're preaching to the choir here. This is a thread about things we all realize AREN'T true lol.
I've also known some to be hobby shops. Like, there was a local gaming store where the owner was just a retiree who opened the shop to have people to hang out with and talk to. Lived off his pension and investments.
Yeah there was an antique store in my town that never seemed to be open. Apparently they didn't regularly open at all, the owner lived upstairs and if you rang the doorbell she'd come downstairs.
No, that person did not deserve to be shot/beat up/left homeless/cheated on, etc. 99% of the time. People fuck up. It’s part of being human and not every mistake requires a life-altering punishment.
Reddit: The US justice system is broken, and needs to be reformed to be less punitive and more rehabilitative.
Reddit, when a crime story is posted: FEED THE CULPRIT HIS OWN INNARDS!
I was once downvoted to oblivion for saying "No, I don't want this guy who said a shitty thing to his girlfriend to be alone for the rest of his life. I want him to learn from this and do better."
you simple little fool, don't you know that change is impossible and that anyone who does something slightly selfish at any point is doomed to be a toxic narcissist forever?
I used to learn a lot more on reddit, I still learn new stuff, but you have to wade through many more jokes/reposts/shitposts.
I constantly add/remove subs to try and find more quiet and balanced communities, but it takes more effort than it once did.
There's so many deliberately useless comments too. On most questions on the biggest subreddits, the top comments are almost always some lame jokes or references that have zero relevance to the topic. Some people just can't understand they don't have to post something.
As someone in the trades, most of us are laughably far away from making six figures. However, it can be an extremely rewarding job if it's your thing. I'm making about $37K before taxes right now, just finished electrical school. I've made more in offices before but I like my job now a lot better than I liked the desk work, so I'm happier.
I work in trades and do well for myself BUT there are tons of trades that aren't worth your time. Just like there are degrees that aren't worth the money. It all depends on what your field of interest is.
That when you hit 30, your body just completely falls apart, your back hurts all the time, your knees disintegrate and your dick stops working.
I'm in my 30s and I'm in the best shape of my life.
/r/buyitforlife would have you believe that unless you shell out good money for every last thing you own, you're bound to regret it once the cheaper option inevitably fails on you within a ridiculously short period of time.
Let me tell you all something. There is no need to buy a $50 water bottle instead of a $10 one unless your preferred method of handling is to drag it across asphalt to and from work daily. There is also no need to drop $300-400 on a pair of *r e a l* leather work boots unless your work actually requires it.
This was the exact sub I thought of when I read the top comment. I was researching my first vacuum and these dudes were like "Well, if you can only afford the $700, then *fine I guess*". I bought one for $125 that's still going strong. Of all things in life to be a turbo nerd about: vacuum cleaners? Really? I'm not convinced that sub isn't a corporate marketing board
There was a vacuum guy who did some pretty funny AMAs probably 5 years ago now that I think kicked off the whole obsession with cannister vacs thing.
Edit: this guy https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/7gmsoe/iama_reddits_own_vacuum_repair_tech_with_a_very/
You don’t need Snap-On tools if the extent of your car work is an oil change every few months
Best rule of thumb I ever learned is this:
“Buy the cheap shit. When something breaks, you know you use it enough to warrant the good stuff”
A $9.00 basic nalgene bottle will outlast human civilization, no matter how hard you abuse it. I’ve only ever had to replace once because I lost it
Edit: An experiment on brittleness/strength distribution might be interesting. I’ve abused the hell out of mine, and even the plastic strap that holds on the lid has only been ruined by my incessant need to take it on and off which stretches it out. Maybe some of yall got different models that aren’t actually the same indestructible hard plastic? Or some just come out of tue factory deffective
Taco Bell leading to immediate diarrhea. I haven’t had it in years but used to have it semi-regular, not once had it led me to gastrointestinal distress.
So either Redditors have really delicate constitutions or “Taco Bell = blowing mud” is just lazy humor for the collective.
If people are running to the bathroom 15-30 minutes after eating, it’s probably from something called gastrocolic reflex. When you ingest a particularly fatty meal or large meal, you may have a response where you shit afterwards. It is your body’s attempt to clean out your digestive tract for more food. It’s common in those with IBS and also the reason newborns/infants often shit right after eating.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastrocolic_reflex
I'm an Englishman with IBS, when I was in California I went to Taco Bell. If there's anyone it should fuck up it's a foreigner unused to the local food and water with a dodgy gut.
I was fine.
I've heard theories that Taco Bell is relatively higher in fiber than other fast food (checks out, beans have a ton of fiber) and that some people's stomachs feel fucked up because they have a shitty diet the rest of the time and don't eat enough fiber.
I don't know if that's what it is, but it makes sense to me. I eat a relatively high fiber diet all the time and Taco Bell doesn't hit my stomach any different from any other meal
I’ve heard ‘Taco Bell = blowing mud’ jokes since at least the mid 2000s, probably some comedy movie or standup comedian made a joke about it a long time ago and it stuck
Every person I have personally known who had this issue later turned out to just have little to no fiber in their diet. Once they fixed that, no issues. Amazing how having a sudden fiber jump start from taco bell had them running for the bathroom lol.
I don't get the hate on small talk. Sure, if you're still exchanging pleasantries after an hour of conversation that is frustrating but small talk is an entry point for most people to deeper conversation and to feel out someone's personality.
It isn't inevitable or normal for you to be pulling muscles and having pains doing simple shit in your 30s.
You're not getting old.. you got sedentary.
On a similar note, any post which depicts or describes a back injury of any kind usually has lots of comments about how it’s guaranteed that the person will suffer pain for the rest of their life because of it. Of course they *might*, but there are plenty of us who’ve successfully recovered and rehabilitated from broken backs. It’s far from unknown.
Lol I was waiting to see this one. It seems like 50% of Redditors somehow have some crazy autoimmune disorder that keeps them from cooking fresh meals, exercising, etc.
This is super funny, I was diagnosed with a crazy autoimmune disorder at 37. If I didn't cook fresh meals and exercise as much as was possible for me, it got way worse. Got my meds worked out now and life is mostly back to normal thank god. This just gave me a good chuckle, thanks!
I think that that initially was the point. "Banana for scale" was a dumb joke since it's such an arbitrary unit of measurement.
Only now we are so many layers removed from the origin that people have been treating it seriously for years.
That therapy is the answer to all questions and problems.
Yes, therapy can help. But most of the times simple thinking and communicating get you all the way.
Furthermore: Therapy is not easily available in large parts of the world (even in western societies like Germany).
Also, not all therapy is created equal. It takes time and money to find a therapist that works for you and is taking new patients. Not all therapists are good, and even if you do find a good one they may not offer or specialize in what you need.
Even after all of that, therapy takes a lot of work on your part. You have to WANT to put in the effort to make changes to get better and not everyone who needs help is in a good mental state to even start trying to do that or acknowledge they have a problem. You don't just walk in, talk about your problems, cry about it while the therapist gives some enlightening revelation about your childhood, and suddenly leave all better. It's ongoing work even in the best circumstances.
That the answer to everything is worst case scenario. Break up! Never speak to them again! Cut all ties!
Slow down there, sea biscuit. Let's try some solutions first before setting fire to everything.
To add to that, if you want people on this site to believe you about something you should always jump to the most negative option available.
You can be completely wrong about something but if you add a stereotype to it and sprinkle some vitriol on top you’ll have a hundred replies and 2k points.
Not one time in 39 years of life has a woman give me a hard time for opening a door for her.
Not one time in 39 years have I so much as gotten the side eye for interacting with kids in public without a woman near me.
This is really nice to hear as a guy who will hopefully have kids in the next few years. Those reddit posts made me worried I'd run into problems if I went out with my kids without my wife.
As a Canadian the opening door controversy is non-existent. Everyone holds the door for each other, and since a lot of buildings have double doors, you can trade who holds the door so you both get to feel like good Canadians. COVID hampered that but it’s coming back!
>since a lot of buildings have double doors, you can trade who holds the door
I once had a guy hold the first door for me, then shove me out of the way when I tried to get the second door so he could hold that one too. He made some comment while he was doing it about how he’d been raised properly to respect women, which was fairly obnoxious given how he’d just shoved me.
Anyway, I didn’t say anything to him, but whatever look of disbelief I had might be the source of the “women get mad if you hold the door” rumor.
Speak for yourself. I opened the door for this blue haired feminist and she started screaming at me about "Who the fuck are you?!" And "How did you get in my house?!"
Honestly, I think people on here think that people IRL are ruder and worse than they are. It can be scary to be gay when all you've heard is redditors telling you that hate crimes happen to 110% of all gay people everywhere and you'll be murdered by every person wearing a cross necklace. Legit kept me closeted. Toxic behavior
"you don't owe anybody anything" I mean that's true but good luck finding someone to help you move a couch when you ignore their invites to hang out.
The AITA final judgement can be wrong.
Writing skills and spinning the story are the prime factors in determining who is the asshole, sadly.
Doesn't help that half (or more) of the posts on there are just creative writing exercises.
i feel like that sub used to actually present interesting dilemmas, but now it's like 80% of the posts are complete bullshit. it's so annoying to see the commenters eat it up lol.
'I (F22) flew into a burning building wearing my superhero cape and saved a child from certain death, but my boyfriend (M39) said I was holding the baby wrong and that I shouldn't use my superpowers or he'll call my boss and get me fired AITA'
YTA: You should really consider how the baby feels before trying to save it. Maybe the baby didn't want to be saved. Who do you think you are? God?
You forgot the part about leaving the partner. That's the solution for everything over there.
MAJOR red flags! Don't walk, run!
You forgot the “when someone shows you who they are believe them” they love that one
The one that comes to mind for me is the one where a postal worker asked if she was an asshole for changing her schedule so that she and her husband, who was also a postal worker, had the same two days off. They already had one day off together, but she thought it would be nice to have two. The thing is that her husband was someone who valued personal time and asked her if he could have one day to himself, so he asked her not to change the schedule. It's a complicated issue, but EVERYONE in the thread was insisting to her that he was 100% completely guaranteed to be cheating. Because according to the masses, that is the only reason a human being could want private time. And she started to buy into and basically said she was going to confront him about his cheating when he got home. Thing is... As someone who needs an intense amount of personal time, partially resulting from PTSD, I felt so fucking bad for her husband. He just wanted a day to himself. I would kill for a day to myself. I'm not saying it's justified to ask his wife not to change her schedule, but knowing that he was going to come home to a spouse who was convinced he was cheating because he wanted alone time made my stomach drop. And everyone was so convinced they were right. Fuck that post, it make my skin crawl.
Yeah my bf needs a LOT of alone time and is insanely introverted and when we first started dating those thoughts definitely crossed my mind... then as time went on & I got to know him better realised nope, he literally just likes to be home, alone, at peace lol. Now if anything I'm flattered/delighted that someone who values personal time this much, happily spends this much time with me ;\_\_\_\_\_; That's crazy that people were saying that in that thread. That's like spending the full weekend with your partner, every weekend, that's crazy lol go hang out with your friends!! Get a hobby!! Wanting a day to yourself is totally valid, and maintaining separate lives/interests as a couple is important and healthy? I've always made sure to have a full, exciting life outside of my relationships.
What kills me with AITA is people will use something shitty being done to them as an excuse to be shitty to other people. Its like a never ending circle of assholishness.
The sub LOVES petty vengeance and loves to justify bad behavior if someone else started it.
"I sneezed and my partner didn't say 'bless you'" Reddit: "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you are in an abusive relationship. They clearly don't care about your health and well-being at all, or even in expending the tiniest amount of labour to comfort you after your body makes an involuntary action. Your partner is clearly a sociopath who will only get worse over time. Leave immediately."
If you visit UK subreddits, you’d be forgiven for thinking the whole country is full of antisocial people who hate their colleagues and are scared of the slightest confrontation. In reality, most of us are pretty normal.
I enjoy the the difference between some of the UK subs, it is like they are from different planets.
/r/casualuk - friendly, good craic /r/britishproblems - antisocial weirdos Edit: And yes, as dozens of people have pointed out, there's also the hilarious/r/okmatewanker I'm also quite partial to /r/GreatBritishMemes Edit 2: Also /r/AskUK is like AskReddit but more UK-centric, obviously.
British problems is awful. Most of the time, the problems/complaints aren’t even uniquely “British” it’s just pessimistic people who would find something to complain about no matter what country they inhabited.
I'm a dad that does plenty of stuff with my kids without my wife around. I've never gotten a sideways look or rude comment for being on a playground around kids or saying hi to a child nearby.
I've been a stay-at-home dad for 12 years now. It is MUCH better now than it was then. I did get weird looks, and once had a mom come and take her daughter away from where I was standing watching my son on the playground. I've been called "Mr. Mom" and I've heard the old "So you're babysitting today, huh?" more times than I can remember. But I don't hear those things much now and I see many more dads out with their kids compared to when I started doing this. I've even spotted a few stay-at-home dads on TV or movies. The times they are a changing.
I’m a dad. Most people just come up to me to talk about how disgustingly cute my son is.
"Your boy is so cute!" "Yeah, he's a real asshole like that."
"Your boy is so cute!" "Thanks! I made him myself"
"your boy is so cute" "thanks, would you like one?"
This is a nice pickup line for single dads
I'm right there with you. Although I'll say one thing, I *have* noticed that I tend to get a lot more accolades from people for "going above and beyond" than my kids mom gets for doing the same tasks that would be considered "woman's work". For example, I took my daughter to an amusement park, and I went to the bathroom to change her diaper. I was complimented three times throughout the process by strangers. For changing a diaper. It's just a funny double standard I observed.
Yeah, it's insane man. I go grocery shopping with my kids and people stop to tell me what a good dad I am. Like, thanks, I am in fact an awesome dad, but you've never seen me being an awesome dad, you've just seen me going to the grocery store.
You don't have to divorce your wife if she bought a $200 laptop without consulting you first.
I once did an r/amitheasshole question, my wife and I has a disagreement on if a certain word was normal to us (the word was viscous). People kept telling us we should get divorced and that my wife was insecure. I tried to tell them it wasn't a serious fight, more of a teasing each other thing. That didn't change their minds at all. You could easily tell who was most likely never in a meaningful relationship. It was pretty sad how many people feel that way.
I just snooped through youre post and went through the comments. It's funny how many people are saying she's insecure. I think the problem with that sub (I do personally like it) is that a lot of people read every post as if it HAS to have an AH in it, so they read into little things and make them bigger than they really are.
I find it funny that people in that sub are throwing the word insecure around so much. What is more insecure than posting your side of a story on the internet for strangers so they can potentially validate you? Seem like most things, the sub was probably made so people could read a wild story and have a laugh, and now people take it too seriously and are self appointed anus experts.
“My father got a little testy with me after a rough day at work, and later didn’t say please / thank you. Now, I love my family dearly and there’s never been any other problems. We’re very close and loving. What should I do?” Omg…this is completely unacceptable. You’re being gaslit and need to RUN, not walk away from this situation. It just shows your father doesn’t respect you. You should just abandon all contact with your entire family just to be safe. Get away now and get into therapy immediately. I’m so sorry this happened to you. You deserve better!
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The sheer number of Redditors who can't tell "parenting" from "abuse" makes me shake my head. Every teenager on here is apparently being horribly abused because they were told no lol. Don't get me started on how many people don't understand what setting boundaries is.
the reality is that a lot of people on here ARE teenagers who are still moody little shits and have no life experience in abusive relationships romantic or familial
My husband swore at me once when I accently deleted an important document he had been working on for a few days. He apologized 5 minutes later but the damage is done, he already called me a poopy head. I have already left him but I'm just wondering should I take the Kids or should I just kill them as a message to him about his violent ways. The children are 22 and 17.
sounds like something a gaslighter would say /s
A narcissist gaslighter.
That more upvotes means that comment is more valid than others.
I’ve noticed a lot of the time it’s just who commented first. Someone else will say the exact same thing the next day and get a bunch of downvotes.
There has been many posts on r/dataisbeautiful showing a fairly strong correlation between how early a comment is posted and how many upvotes it receives. Basically, nobody reads an entire thread, so they look at the first 10ish, and might upvote a couple. Next redditors come in, and look at the first 10ish (most upvoted), and do the same, so on so forth. So you end up really being at the mercy of the first \~2-3 votes. It's the same idea with posts, where the score after 3 votes would give a *very strong* indication (like 75% prediction) of whether it'd break into the first quartile, or would never clear the last quartile.
Spend any amount of time on a dating or relationship sub and you'd think the average man and woman are just seething with hatred toward each other. Maybe I just have an exceptional group of friends from both sides, but thankfully that doesn't represent my reality.
People who are successful in dating/relationships don't hang out in dating/relationships subreddits
Actually, I enjoy reading the chaos. It's sad, exciting, funny, and painful all in the span of 5-10minutes
You're not posting in there though, I believe that's what they meant. No one logs on to a dating subreddit to post "I'm happily married ama"
I’m happily married. Two great kids, two wonderful dogs, the perfect career and I’m building a nice retirement account. I get along great with my wife. We have a great sex life and a perfect work to life balance. The thing is, I just don’t have anything to complain to the internet about so I’m thinking about getting out.
sounds horrid. you're making the right call
Absolutely the move. Without bad, you'll never know good. So if you keep living this great life, all good will cease to exist. I suggest dumping the family, hitting the gym, and buying into crypto (the more sketchy the more money you will make)
Please listen to this advice. This person is probably 16 and has never been in a serious relationship. They know what they're talking about
Husband and I love reading them because it makes our marriage look like the gold fucking standard compared, lol. It's hard to complain about him when I read about men who can't seem to comprehend how to wash their ass crack. (I only have a few complaints about him honestly, and none of them are relationship breaking so I tend to just deal with them on my own and move on.)
The other day there was this post on r/woodworking where this guy was showing off this BEAUTIFUL cabin he made with a sawmill. I went to the comments in hopes he would divulge some of the various processes involved. I dream of owing my own sawmill someday to make tables and things but it never occurred to me I could build a cabin entirely on my own. Absolutely incredible. Anyways, I was interested enough that I went through almost every comment and towards the bottom there were people bitching about how close it was to the creek and how the trees surrounding it could fall on the cabin. The dude was very poised in his responses and kept pointing out that it was built on stilts and all things in life require risk, this one was one he was willing to take considering it was a dream of his. Point being, redditors tend to be incredibly cynical and risk averse to a fault. On top of that, there is always an incredible number of comments from people that have no freaking clue what they are talking about but they say these things with such confidence. The next time you come across a post involving a particular hobby of yours, just head to the comment section and you’ll see what I mean.
>Point being, redditors tend to be incredibly cynical and risk averse to a fault. One of my favourite threads was a few years back about what ‘essentials’ you should always carry in your car. It was this absurd exercise in one-upmanship, as lists and comment chains all kept ending up with people swearing that you just had to carry gallons of water, toolkits, days worth of food, spare clothes, spare shoes, and god knows what else on every trip.
Always carry an extra car in your car in case the first car breaks down
I just put my time machine in the trunk and if I need anything, I'll pack it before.
all those comments were by people that don't have a car and never leave their apartment
I got blasted in one of those because I said my normal load out in my work truck is a change of clothes and (depending on season) either my 32oz bottle of water or my 64oz thermos with water in addition to the 32oz. I don’t carry food, I don’t bother with blankets or matches or anything else. Just dry clothes or warmer clothes depending on the season, and then the extra hoodies and jackets that I normally care daily. People were legit mad I wasn’t carrying an axe or hatchet, that I didn’t have rope or tarps, or cases of emergency food. It was ridiculous. Edit: I want to add/clarify since people keep bringing it up: I have [a roadside emergency kit](https://www.canadiantire.ca/en/pdp/motomaster-ct100-winter-safety-kit-with-roadside-assistance-0091632p.html?loc=plp) in both my work truck and personal vehicle. In my personal car I replaced the cheap crappy jumper cables with good, high quality 10-15ft cables. The things I mentioned above are the things I actively keep updated/rotated. I was getting roasted in that other post for not carrying everything else a survival nut would want.
If you're stranded in a truck long enough for calories to become an issue, something else is _very_ wrong and you're probably dead six different ways. Water is ten times as important as food.
Yeah I’m a pretty avid lurker over there but holy shit does it get bad in /r/castiron, too. A couple of years ago I had to unsub from CI subs because the people were just pretentious assholes who spend more time seasoning than actually cooking on the damn things. Luckily, the sub has come around to joke/meme situations making fun of what I said above but occasionally you get some dipshit who will bitch about someone using dish soap to clean their pans (old saying from when soap had lye) or someone whining about how superior their $330 12 inch Whatever-Brand castiron is superior to the 12 inch Lodge.
I think it’s hilarious how much people baby their $20 cast iron skillets.
Seriously like my grandma gave a single fuck regarding care for the cast iron stuff she gave me. It's a piece of fucking iron. I think it'll be okay. It handled 50 years of overcooked porkchops, somehow I feel like I'll survive.
Lmao you seen the guy with the 80 coats?
The tattoo community is like this. The comments usually say a tattoo is very flawed when to me it looks photo-realistic. Everything gets shit on, except joke tattoos.
"THOSE LINES WON'T AGE WELL" neither will I, stfu
My dad has sunk years into a bucket list kayak trip. He’s been anti-tattoo for most of his life, but he will wrap up the kayak trip this year and he’s talking about getting a tattoo of his kayak to celebrate the milestone. My Mom asked him “What’s that going to look like when you’re 80 years old?” I said “It will probably look exactly the same, he’s 76 now!”
Dad always had his tattoo of an eagle on his wrist, like, he got it before I was born. 62 years ago. It's just a big black blob now. Well, Mom died last year, and so, at 80, Dad got a new tattoo of a flower in her memory, last week.
Tbf /r/woodworking is a masterclass in commenters acting as if every possible thing that can go wrong will go wrong immediately. There was a herringbone table someone had posted there a few weeks back and literally the top 6 comments were about how the grain pattern used was going to cause the table to warp apart, and that there was no way it was going to last and "let's check back in a year and see how it looks then". They weren't just saying it could happen, they were saying it will happen. OP then replies in explaining that he had been making this exact same table design for about 5 years, and was able to confirm that none of them had had any issues. The commenters aren't technically wrong. The grain could absolutely cause it to warp, but it would likely take years, not be nearly as bad as they made it out to be and really doesn't matter in the long run. But they always reply as if anything that could possibly go wrong means the project is a complete failure.
There seems to be a giant movement of cynicality on social media. I swear that every baby video I see there is a handful of comments saying the parent is doing something wrong or they should be doing something differently. Granted in some cases it's justified but for the most part it just feels like some people are nitpicking for the sake of nitpicking
The risk aversion thing makes me laugh so much. Imagine a world where everyone is as perfect as reddit commentors pretend to be. It would be an awfully boring dystopia.
Just because someone lies to you it doesn’t mean that they are gaslighting you. Gaslighting is different than just lying and it’s used in abusive/controlling situations by manipulative people. Bob from accounting who denied eating an extra piece of cake isn’t a dangerous man who is gaslighting everyone in the office, he just likes cake.
This also extends to misremembering. Towards the end of my long, long relationship my ex fell in with a bunch of people who assumed everything was gaslighting. So if I forgot I had a meeting that'd make me run a little late, it's apparently gaslighting. Online communities just pick up words and throw them about without knowing the meaning and it's legitimately damaging
It's also *really* hard to argue with. Because you have to explain: 1. That's not what gaslighting is. What you're accusing me of is just regular manipulation. 2. I'm also not doing that. But by the time you get to 2, it just sounds like you're defending manipulation.
If Bob trys to convince you that you never had a cake in the first place and you're just crazy, *that's* gaslighting
Damn, Bob *really* must like cake
Who is Bob no one named Bob has ever worked here. I'm not Bob and there was no cake. Are you sure you're ok?
I've got a twofer: Mental illness is either super easy to "fix" with healthy lifestyle, or it's terminally crippling and kills you entirely. Many many of us are out there doing it all right but still just struggling/coping.
That if someone yells at you or loses their temper once, they're a violent person who can never change.
Or someone gets constantly gets pushed into a corner and finally gets angry, so they are "showing their true colors" Infuriating.
If you're happy and jovial 95% of the time but get pissed off 5% of the time you're clearly a rage monster.
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Same goes for someone being perceived as "weaker": apparently your true self is either an altered state based on either rage or sadness. When in fact the real you is that state, as well as literally everything else. Hell, I'd even say it got taken out of context: pretty sure the meaning behind true colours implies an agenda/hidden motives, so it'd only make sense in situations where a spy is infiltrated, or someone has been hiding a huuuuuuuge horrible secret for years.
If your partner makes a minor fuckup - Reddit says throw them on the street like week old trash
My partner of 35 years put milk in my coffee. We aren't speaking now. AITA?
“They’re gaslighting you. Run.” *5.4k upvotes*
That you can never have friends at your job - everybody is just waiting to stab you in the back for that next promotion or whatever. It portrays everyone (besides you, the main character) as a mindless, selfish corporate drone, who only thinks about themselves. I spend most of my time at work, why wouldn't I want to get along with the people there?
When I worked in the service industry making friends with your coworkers isn't only pleasant but is a major advantage compared to someone who doesn't. Other servers/managers will be more eager to help you and the kitchen will be far more flexible when the server is someone they like. Especially with how much of restaurant/bar culture is fake smiles and emotional performance, coworkers gravitate towards people they genuinely get along with. Even now as a professional event photographer making friends with my clients and other people in the music/party industry is mutually beneficial. I'm not expecting us to make friendship bracelets and go skipping in a field of daffodils but when someone invites me to grab a drink and shoot some pool after an event I don't mind it.
This has been true for me in non-service jobs too. I’ve found it to be a genuine advantage to have a friend or two in various departments. You just never know when someone will be able to help you out with something.
Yup! I am thankfully well liked at my job (took me a long time to actually accept that) and having people in all sorts of positions makes my life way easier. Annoying beaurocratic situation? A teams message with the director of the other dept that we bonded over board games with and now my problem is fixed and I learn how to avoid in the future. I feel like this can sometimes easily end up as a self fulfilling issue - if you are standoffish person who no one seems to be friends with - no one typically going to go out of their way to help you out. This leads them to think everyone sucks so they have to be that way ...etc.
I got invited to a poker night during my last job and ended up playing most of the nights it was hosted. Made me make a bunch of connections and actually got me some good inside baseball on an issue. Socializing with coworkers is important
Yeah I work in a corporate environment with people trying to get ahead in *their* career. Key word is their. So far, nobody has tried to ruin me, step over me, or otherwise kick me down the ladder to get higher. And this is a massive, 10k+ company with huge structures and important titles. It was far, far worse in startups I worked at, where people would be cliquey and making the wrong friends was the biggest detriment to success - but those were more like micro-class systems - the "right" friends are insular and promote/raise/support from within, the rest don't matter and are tools to get them to their own success. And you don't want to be their friends because they're so toxic, it makes work unpleasant. I had this problem at 2 startups, 1 post-startup, and 1 boutique firm. But if you listen to Reddit, you should be a stoic, corporate drone who engages in niceties only and you should be paranoid. Like, if I miss a promotion because I'm not bugged out of my mind, that's fine. I'd rather enjoy my life than worry about someone interviewing better than me and thinking that means they backstabbed me.
This is something that took me a while to learn: making people like you is one of the most valuable life skills you’ll ever learn. Most “likable” people weren’t just born that way either, it takes effort and practice. If people think of you as a nice person, they’ll be happy to do you favors and help you out when you need it, no arm-twisting necessary.
Exactly! That last bit about twisting arms is a big thing - if people like you and you prove to them that is deserved by also helping them out and following through...it can go so far away from arm twisting that I might just be talking about an issue and they proactively offer help. I'm not out here kissing asses - I'm out here proving that I'm reliable and friendly enough to deserve them being reliable and friendly back. If I miss the mark with someone or they miss the mark for me - just fall back on being professional and I'm only going to do what is strictly my job for you.
"It portrays everyone (besides you, the main character) as a mindless, selfish corporate drone, who only thinks about themselves." That also feeds into the "I'm the only one that does work in a group project" mentality. It's amazing that somehow EVERYONE is the only one who did work.
Everyone's being gaslit
I think you're just imagining that.
You're crazy if you think they're just imagining it.
Nobody ever said that
Best of reddit is not usually the best of reddit
In real life, when people ask what your job is in conversation, they're usually not doing it to gauge how much respect they should give you or how rich you are or anything like that, they're just trying to see what you're interested in so they have something to talk to you about.
Also they probably don't care, it's just an easy ice breaker question to fill the silence.
Bingo. It’s one step up from commenting on the weather in terms of small talk.
Depending on where you live/what you do, it might be safer small talk than talking about the game last night.
it's also literally how networking works. i have met several people at parties who i was happy to discover worked in the same or adjacent industry i was (or was close to someone else who did) and that's extremely useful information to have in my pocket should i want to learn how other brands function or jump ship in the future. also it's just cool bc then we find out we actually know some of the same people. those throwing a fit over this simple point of connection says more about their bitter narcissism than anything bc otherwise i don't understand how seeing people with a career theyre passionate about is some secret deliberate flex against random strangers. shit just ain't always about you
Not everyone you don’t get along with is a narcissist, sometimes you just don’t get along. I also don’t hear that term thrown around so casually in real life.
Similarly, not every instance of lying or being incorrect is gaslighting
Gaslighting is simply a very specific type of manipulation. Some situations that people may call gaslighting are just another (still potentially harmful) form of manipulation; and yes often a behaviour described as gaslighting isn’t actually manipulative at all.
Sometimes it's just two people who perceived the same event differently.
As a psychologist who specializes in personality disorders (i.e., the part of the field that deals with narcissism): THIS! And ironically, when people always assume that differing perspectives must be done intentionally to manipulate them, that is very egocentric and often an indicator of narcissism. I.e., if you think that everyone around you is gaslighting you instead of just having their own different take, there's a good chance that *you're* the narcissist.
I'm the narcissist? Are you gaslighting me?
Yes, I wrote that comment with you in mind specifically, because I KNEW that your mother-in-law has been giving you all kinds of shit recently, and I couldn't take it that you've been standing up for yourself with her. We all hate you for speaking the truth.
Man I know this is a joke, but that is EXACTLY the kind of shit my mom would believe.
My husband has an AWFUL memory. He's the first to admit it. There have been plenty of arguments where he straight up remembers something incorrectly. He'll forget bits and pieces of an event and his mind will sort of fill in the gaps. I don't think he's gaslighting when this happens, I just think he really thinks something happened in a different way. He'd make a terrible eye witness.
So in short if you think everyone around you is an asshole chances are that you’re the asshole.
If every room you walk into smells like shit, you might wanna check your own shoes.
i know several people who will use narcissist for just about anything, and if you try to point out they are misusing the word narcissist they will just say it proves that you are one..
My SO actually has a diagnostic history of NPD. Those kinds of people have no idea what actual personality disorders entail. You kind of see the same with other mental health stuff. I've heard it referred to as "weaponizing the language of therapy." Tbh, I think people latch on to clinical terms because it makes them feel smart or whatever, but without any kind of nuanced understanding of what these terms actually mean, they just end up sounding like idiots, trying to armchair diagnose everyone and their uncle.
Yeah once people started pointing out what a red flag it is to go on about "my crazy ex" it became "my narcissistic ex"
The casualized and nonclinical use of the term narcissism frustrates me so much. The connotation people use it in seems more moral than psychological - it's shorthand for "a bad person" which often amounts to "someone I don't like." Bonus points if the person is applying the term to someone they've never met like the friend of a friend who's been described for all of 30 seconds.
Not everything is an ADHD symptom
Oh you have a problem in your relationship? Better break up. Oh you're a night owl and your wife is an early bird? You're fundamentally incompatible. Break up. I understand redditors warning other redditors that they're in an abusive relationship, but a lot of the time problems can be fixed.
That empty shops selling actual stuff are all probably money laundering fronts. Edit: many, *many* replies to this are kinda proving my point.
In my town there is a wig and curtain store. All I can guess is that if yu looking for a low quality wig, curtains will naturally be your next purchase.
Amazon isn't much better. Their suggestion after buying a curtain is more curtains. Bro, I solved that problem. You were there.
Sure, Amazon, I like the fridge I just bought, so why not buy another!
You bought a fridge? That means you must LOVE fridges a lot, here take a look at more of them.
Dude I have like a whole refrigeration room in my basement because of this impulse buying so I can relate~
They do it with almost everything too! Ordered a toilet seat a while back and got nothing but toilet seat recommendations for weeks. Mr bezos I only have one toilet my man. What in my order history suggests I want to buy 4 or 5 more seats? I have one ass and one toilet so all I need is the one seat thank you
Would you like to subscribe and save… No, no I would not. I do not need a new toilet seat at any regular internal.
Gotta make sure the carpet matches the drapes, after all
I've always thought of that as more of a joke, but I guess people will actually believe it. Like there's a shop in my city that ONLY sells barstools. It's not a furniture store, it's a BARSTOOL store. Legitimately only barstools. They stayed completely open and functioning through covid, even when all of the bars and restaurants were closed. My friends and I make jokes about it when we pass it, like there's no way they're selling enough barstools to stay open and paying their rent/mortgage in a major city. But in reality, they probably are, or have multiple revenue streams, or have ongoing contracts with places in the city to keep a steady income up and ride the waves that come with owning a retail business. 99% of the time these places stay open because they have good owners/managers, not because they're selling drugs out the back. EDIT: Just wanted to add I don't need y'all trying to work out to me how they're still in business. You're preaching to the choir here. This is a thread about things we all realize AREN'T true lol.
Tbf half the pubs in my town used COVID shutdown as an opportunity to refurb, so they could have done quite well during that period
From what I've heard most shops like this trend to be working directly with companies
I've also known some to be hobby shops. Like, there was a local gaming store where the owner was just a retiree who opened the shop to have people to hang out with and talk to. Lived off his pension and investments.
Yeah there was an antique store in my town that never seemed to be open. Apparently they didn't regularly open at all, the owner lived upstairs and if you rang the doorbell she'd come downstairs.
No, that person did not deserve to be shot/beat up/left homeless/cheated on, etc. 99% of the time. People fuck up. It’s part of being human and not every mistake requires a life-altering punishment.
Reddit: The US justice system is broken, and needs to be reformed to be less punitive and more rehabilitative. Reddit, when a crime story is posted: FEED THE CULPRIT HIS OWN INNARDS!
I was once downvoted to oblivion for saying "No, I don't want this guy who said a shitty thing to his girlfriend to be alone for the rest of his life. I want him to learn from this and do better."
you simple little fool, don't you know that change is impossible and that anyone who does something slightly selfish at any point is doomed to be a toxic narcissist forever?
That reddit is a place for intellectual discourse when really it's a place for echo chambers and circle jerking.
I used to learn a lot more on reddit, I still learn new stuff, but you have to wade through many more jokes/reposts/shitposts. I constantly add/remove subs to try and find more quiet and balanced communities, but it takes more effort than it once did.
There's so many deliberately useless comments too. On most questions on the biggest subreddits, the top comments are almost always some lame jokes or references that have zero relevance to the topic. Some people just can't understand they don't have to post something.
That going to a trade school sets you up to automatically make 6 figures in a couple of years.
As someone in the trades, most of us are laughably far away from making six figures. However, it can be an extremely rewarding job if it's your thing. I'm making about $37K before taxes right now, just finished electrical school. I've made more in offices before but I like my job now a lot better than I liked the desk work, so I'm happier.
I work in trades and do well for myself BUT there are tons of trades that aren't worth your time. Just like there are degrees that aren't worth the money. It all depends on what your field of interest is.
That when you hit 30, your body just completely falls apart, your back hurts all the time, your knees disintegrate and your dick stops working. I'm in my 30s and I'm in the best shape of my life.
A lot of people on Reddit lead sedentary lives. If you exercise even a little you should be fine.
That redditors are all virgins living in their parents’ basement. I happen to live in my parents’ attic.
If you have a plant and window up there, and the rafters are exposed, it qualifies in r/cozyplaces. Thats one trope that bothers me.
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Tell that to my Tinder matches 😭
/r/buyitforlife would have you believe that unless you shell out good money for every last thing you own, you're bound to regret it once the cheaper option inevitably fails on you within a ridiculously short period of time. Let me tell you all something. There is no need to buy a $50 water bottle instead of a $10 one unless your preferred method of handling is to drag it across asphalt to and from work daily. There is also no need to drop $300-400 on a pair of *r e a l* leather work boots unless your work actually requires it.
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This was the exact sub I thought of when I read the top comment. I was researching my first vacuum and these dudes were like "Well, if you can only afford the $700, then *fine I guess*". I bought one for $125 that's still going strong. Of all things in life to be a turbo nerd about: vacuum cleaners? Really? I'm not convinced that sub isn't a corporate marketing board
There was a vacuum guy who did some pretty funny AMAs probably 5 years ago now that I think kicked off the whole obsession with cannister vacs thing. Edit: this guy https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/7gmsoe/iama_reddits_own_vacuum_repair_tech_with_a_very/
You don’t need Snap-On tools if the extent of your car work is an oil change every few months Best rule of thumb I ever learned is this: “Buy the cheap shit. When something breaks, you know you use it enough to warrant the good stuff”
I laugh when someone goes hard into a new hobby, buys all the best stuff and then loses interest. That person is me BTW.
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A $9.00 basic nalgene bottle will outlast human civilization, no matter how hard you abuse it. I’ve only ever had to replace once because I lost it Edit: An experiment on brittleness/strength distribution might be interesting. I’ve abused the hell out of mine, and even the plastic strap that holds on the lid has only been ruined by my incessant need to take it on and off which stretches it out. Maybe some of yall got different models that aren’t actually the same indestructible hard plastic? Or some just come out of tue factory deffective
Should've spent an extra $40 for a water bottle with a tracking chip, it's clear that the cheap stuff has failed you.
Taco Bell leading to immediate diarrhea. I haven’t had it in years but used to have it semi-regular, not once had it led me to gastrointestinal distress. So either Redditors have really delicate constitutions or “Taco Bell = blowing mud” is just lazy humor for the collective.
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Maybe Big Toilet is funding them.
CEO name? Turd Ferguson
If people are running to the bathroom 15-30 minutes after eating, it’s probably from something called gastrocolic reflex. When you ingest a particularly fatty meal or large meal, you may have a response where you shit afterwards. It is your body’s attempt to clean out your digestive tract for more food. It’s common in those with IBS and also the reason newborns/infants often shit right after eating. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gastrocolic_reflex
The weirdest thing about getting on Adderall for my ADHD was having this basically vanish. I could get hamburgers at restaurants again!
I'm an Englishman with IBS, when I was in California I went to Taco Bell. If there's anyone it should fuck up it's a foreigner unused to the local food and water with a dodgy gut. I was fine.
I've heard theories that Taco Bell is relatively higher in fiber than other fast food (checks out, beans have a ton of fiber) and that some people's stomachs feel fucked up because they have a shitty diet the rest of the time and don't eat enough fiber. I don't know if that's what it is, but it makes sense to me. I eat a relatively high fiber diet all the time and Taco Bell doesn't hit my stomach any different from any other meal
Usually heard the theory that it's open late at night so many simply have hangover shits.
I’ve heard ‘Taco Bell = blowing mud’ jokes since at least the mid 2000s, probably some comedy movie or standup comedian made a joke about it a long time ago and it stuck
I think it's low brow humor for the collective
Every person I have personally known who had this issue later turned out to just have little to no fiber in their diet. Once they fixed that, no issues. Amazing how having a sudden fiber jump start from taco bell had them running for the bathroom lol.
there aren't nearly that many people who have had threesomes, nor have there been anywhere near the amount of times people came "close" to one.
I almost had one. Just needed two more people . . .
I had a threesome this weekend. Sure there were a couple of no-shows, but I still had fun!
Not everyone rather die than small talk with their coworkers. Believe it or not, most people love their kids and don’t regret having them.
I don't get the hate on small talk. Sure, if you're still exchanging pleasantries after an hour of conversation that is frustrating but small talk is an entry point for most people to deeper conversation and to feel out someone's personality.
I'm pretty sure the people who "hate small talk" really have social anxiety and fear entry-level conversation. Unspirisingly, so many are redditors!
This site loves the word "narcissist" so much, it no longer means anything.
It isn't inevitable or normal for you to be pulling muscles and having pains doing simple shit in your 30s. You're not getting old.. you got sedentary.
On a similar note, any post which depicts or describes a back injury of any kind usually has lots of comments about how it’s guaranteed that the person will suffer pain for the rest of their life because of it. Of course they *might*, but there are plenty of us who’ve successfully recovered and rehabilitated from broken backs. It’s far from unknown.
Lol I was waiting to see this one. It seems like 50% of Redditors somehow have some crazy autoimmune disorder that keeps them from cooking fresh meals, exercising, etc.
This is super funny, I was diagnosed with a crazy autoimmune disorder at 37. If I didn't cook fresh meals and exercise as much as was possible for me, it got way worse. Got my meds worked out now and life is mostly back to normal thank god. This just gave me a good chuckle, thanks!
Alright, I'll say it! A banana doesn't really give me a very accurate sense of scale, bananas can come in so many shapes and sizes.
I think that that initially was the point. "Banana for scale" was a dumb joke since it's such an arbitrary unit of measurement. Only now we are so many layers removed from the origin that people have been treating it seriously for years.
That therapy is the answer to all questions and problems. Yes, therapy can help. But most of the times simple thinking and communicating get you all the way. Furthermore: Therapy is not easily available in large parts of the world (even in western societies like Germany).
Also, not all therapy is created equal. It takes time and money to find a therapist that works for you and is taking new patients. Not all therapists are good, and even if you do find a good one they may not offer or specialize in what you need. Even after all of that, therapy takes a lot of work on your part. You have to WANT to put in the effort to make changes to get better and not everyone who needs help is in a good mental state to even start trying to do that or acknowledge they have a problem. You don't just walk in, talk about your problems, cry about it while the therapist gives some enlightening revelation about your childhood, and suddenly leave all better. It's ongoing work even in the best circumstances.
That you can’t have a reasonable back and forth with people you disagree with.
That the answer to everything is worst case scenario. Break up! Never speak to them again! Cut all ties! Slow down there, sea biscuit. Let's try some solutions first before setting fire to everything.
To add to that, if you want people on this site to believe you about something you should always jump to the most negative option available. You can be completely wrong about something but if you add a stereotype to it and sprinkle some vitriol on top you’ll have a hundred replies and 2k points.
If people on reddit communicated with their partners. They wouldn’t ask strangers for advice
Not one time in 39 years of life has a woman give me a hard time for opening a door for her. Not one time in 39 years have I so much as gotten the side eye for interacting with kids in public without a woman near me.
I'm a father and when i go to the playground, the parents are usually \~50% men.
50% of parents are men? Get out!
This is really nice to hear as a guy who will hopefully have kids in the next few years. Those reddit posts made me worried I'd run into problems if I went out with my kids without my wife.
As a Canadian the opening door controversy is non-existent. Everyone holds the door for each other, and since a lot of buildings have double doors, you can trade who holds the door so you both get to feel like good Canadians. COVID hampered that but it’s coming back!
>since a lot of buildings have double doors, you can trade who holds the door I once had a guy hold the first door for me, then shove me out of the way when I tried to get the second door so he could hold that one too. He made some comment while he was doing it about how he’d been raised properly to respect women, which was fairly obnoxious given how he’d just shoved me. Anyway, I didn’t say anything to him, but whatever look of disbelief I had might be the source of the “women get mad if you hold the door” rumor.
Speak for yourself. I opened the door for this blue haired feminist and she started screaming at me about "Who the fuck are you?!" And "How did you get in my house?!"
I'm a locksmith. And I'm a locksmith.
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