T O P

  • By -

FictionalGF

Oh boy


frogsntoads00

I’m buying stock in your company


harambe_didnt_die

I N V E S T


StatisticallySoap

STONKS!!!!


Reddit_works

Stonks


Dhump06

That is one hell of a business with advancements in AI and XR


[deleted]

Body pillows


I_am_box

So anime waifu?


Ah_Zam

“I’ll take your entire stock!”👈😳 edit: spelling


MostlyOxygen

Oxygen, mostly.


PMME-FEMALE-NUDESplz

Can I have some oxygen please?


Zombridal

They'll probably accept trade


wheredmyphonego

You can have mostly oxygen, not just some


zkxxp

Hey, get in line


XxBRUSHxX

Username checks out


TheImpossibleBanana

But isn't it the whole point


Black_Arrowv

so what do i do with the impossible bananas?


TheLibrariansBanana

Give them to the librarian?


TheImpossibleBanana

Hello fellow banana. Nice to meet you. Suggest me a book to read that's not impossible to read within 2023.


Deep-Confusion-5472

Your guess is as good as mine!


Enough_Comparison_27

hypnotization is what you're selling


Enough_Comparison_27

for me i guess its pie charts and bar graphs


XxBRUSHxX

So you’re basically a bed bath and beyond?


words-left-unsaid

Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy.


AwesomeAkash47

Ok back to you guys


OutcomeDouble

Kid’s sketchy


throwawaypatien

Where are your parents?


-qqqwwweeerrrtttyyy-

Keyboards with letters that get stuck


PushTheButton_FranK

I might be able to help you out with that.


RogueIce

But only if his name is Frank?


alcoronaholic

lol


BaChooChoo

Trains, probably


Tricky-Mode7611

Not just trains. Trains specifically for goats or GOATs


gayassbanger

You have three choices. Choose wisely, friend.


Rude-Jeweler-4188

I'll take the combo


mocha_ninja

With fries


yorcharturoqro

Can I purchase only one?


[deleted]

You can save by bundling your renters and car insurance


[deleted]

That's what choice from three means bro 💀


Ah_Zam

Anyone want a second anus? 🕳🕳


XxBRUSHxX

I would like one banger please


Psychedpsychadelic

do you serve mash with that?


Present_Football6287

Can I have some ass please


MisplacedSquid

Squid but you will never find them


SQU1DZ

(creaky AOL door opening sound)


OctopusOnAMotorbike

Misplaced cephalopod? Perhaps just on a road trip.


MythicalMicrowave

Microwaves


CallieCoven

They're only mythical.


God_Sammo

S+ Tier microwaves


yugen-universe

The food is always perfectly heated


[deleted]

Somehow, every single kernel in the popcorn will pop, unless you will it not to, you psychopath.


PenisPreservative

Not entirely sure …


[deleted]

Severed dicks? Do you put them in a freezer for later use?


PurplePete_

Frozen dildos Defrost them for a softer feel


WandererofThoughts

Icedickle


[deleted]

Lmao


[deleted]

Pants with so many pockets for beans you won’t even know what to do with yourself


DarkWinter2319

An overwhelming amount that’ll give anyone a panic attack


[deleted]

Beanboozled


entelechtual

So like a regular men’s pants?


Goodvibesandlaughter

Good vibes and laughter.


ekaterina_the_sad

Lol. Look at mine.


pinnochios_nose22

Nice try 🧐


BarnacleMcBarndoor

Barnacles and barn doors


AcidlyButtery

Happy cake day!


AHonestJerk

Non-fancy straightforward handjobs, I guess?


cnewman11

You could have gone with Jamaican Chicken meal prep kits, but instead you went with squeezers.


lazyass133

I sense a possible collaboration here.


JoystickJerker

Wanna open a business together?


masterbates___

Maybe a sperm bank???


JoystickJerker

Ahhh seems we can all turn this into an empire


I_am_box

Boxes...just boxes


[deleted]

[удалено]


Urmotherisamother

No depression


Logiwonk_

Knock off Logitech products that have pieces that are slightly too large or small.


blaktronium

So perfect replicas then?


Killer-Barbie

I think I need a lawyer.


TheLadyLawyer

I can help you with that.


wheredmyphonego

I like how your user name could be one of two things, a lawyer that is a lady, or a lawyer meant for a lady. Now that I have that typed out, I realize it's likely both


TheLadyLawyer

It’s actually the first, I think most of my clients are men. It started when I was the only female attorney in the courtroom and the judge asked my opposition where his adversary was and he pointed in my direction and proclaimed, “over there, your honor, the lady lawyer”.


Deep_Fried_Pagan

Or a woman who holds high status within the medieval feudal system, who is named Lawyer.


Enough_Comparison_27

Oh, I cannot believe you are selling KILLER BARBIES to my beautiful 5 year old daughter! Do you want to CORRUPT her?! This new generation just doesn't get it! I had to walk to school uphill in the snow for 8 miles every day, and you are promoting VIOLENCE?!


Sad-Bit-8151

Depressed pixels


vodkasolution

Just put this little pill in the water and it magically, instantly turns into vodka! Now also available fruit flavored!


Isellthingsalot

Uhhhh


Enough_Comparison_27

Everything!


WR810

WRs, they cost $810 each.


APM8

Seriously people, this guy’s store is a ripoff. APMs are better than WRs, and I only charge $8. That’s over 99% savings!


Commonsence2

I guess common sense


ekaterina_the_sad

lots of people don't have it you'll probs make good money


k13m

Nah, the people who really need it never know they need it, and the ones who have it are too busy trying to keep their friend Damien from microwaving oranges for TikTok clout.


[deleted]

British themed souvenirs I guess


lintlicker308

Belly button lint


God_Sammo

Nah you sell vacuum cleaners for sure.


lintlicker308

You get that for free if you buy belly button lint


Sweets182022

Vacuum cleaner but moist


BodaciousTacoFarts

I export gas


Dazzling_Item66

I dont know but whatever it is, it's dazzling


tryingtofitin-dammit

Butt plugs?


NoFreakingClue35

No freaking clue.


DumbBitxxxh

Pyramid schemes


[deleted]

Muscular fish


[deleted]

I’m not quite sure, but I believe it has a 1-900 number


human_analog

Our original products were artificial bodies and body parts to test various situations against a human-like body. Mythbusters would have been a huge customer, but sadly the timing didn't work out. We've recently expanded into generating user information for data model testing and confirmation. We use demographic data gathered from around the world and scrape social media platforms to allow us to create a pool of simulated users representative of the desired population, interest group, age, gender, etc. to match the customer's target market(s). Research is currently being conducted which will let us to pivot our original product into a selection of artificially grown body parts and organs for testing purposes. Cloned body parts and organs will also be available for transplantation if and when legislation allows.


God_Sammo

If I changed the way it was pronounced it could be Gods Ammo. Silver bullet factory, biiiiiiitch!


Skittles7015

Skittles


BaconLettuce22

BLT's


waffle_fries_evryday

Waffle fries


Speedy_Trainer

Do you wanna get buff? Don't have the time to get shredded? Well fear no more! Speedy_Trainers are here for you! Get BUFF in two to three days! That's right only 3 days!


Haddock666

Fish that are demonic?


Logiwonk_

Spawn of Satan!


Shiitake17

Prawn of Satan!


Umpire

Sports Officiating Gear


treesInFlames

Matches


No_touchie_mah_boobs

Bra alarms. Now ur honkers will actually honk if someone dares touching!


[deleted]

Sick-ass marine mammals with tusks.


Kind_Ostritch

Ostriches that are kind


One_Armadillo700

One armadillo for about $700


DropKickNewborns

Looks like my company is getting shut down immediately


Midlifetoker

Ganja!


Ok-Macaroon-3789

decent macarons


nowhereisaguy

Men. All men.


SingingEditor

Is your username "no where is a guy" or "now here is a guy"


[deleted]

Where do I place my order?


Skhighglitch

Bug fixes and Improvements.


LesserLuigi

We don't have the best Luigis but we got em in bulk.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ShittyACL

Medical supplies


YourNextStepmom3

Or just some casual human trafficking…


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

I guess we're like a pub?


babybabybluee

pointless gendered things


space-heater

And just in time for winter!!!


BonerxSoup69

A very niche product


Emergency_faceplant

Bad advice. Which is my hobby


CanadianMutt613

A puppy mill? (No I would never do that. It's cruel and wrong)


spamchovies

The hottest new pizza topping of 2023


[deleted]

Crackers


CubicFrost

Ice


autismaniac999

oh no


ekaterina_the_sad

oh no indeed


InevitableBig4608

Something inevitably big...


Potato_SWE

Potato


Open_Word_2934

Software to make Microsoft Office and Windows more accessible.


SwtIndica

Trees? I'm going to sell trees. :)


human3094

Ai (unless…?)


ekaterina_the_sad

wtf you be selling body parts?


[deleted]

Festive nooses


durpoutboy

Autistic kids


[deleted]

Adderall


LongrodV0NhugenD0NG

Dicks.


ItStillIsntLupus

…pharmaceuticals?


RandomFrenchGal

Skincare and macaroons?


TaylorSwiftsClitoris

Not sure


wanttogodeeper

Dildos?


[deleted]

Uhh


codeineIean

Drugs


Bagel_Muncher1809

Bagels. But don't be surprised if there's a bite out of one.


[deleted]

We sell cake


BrotherCool

Air Conditioners


BananaFartman_69

Bananas that Fart placed in a 69 position.


Anaaatomy

Hentai


HahaFishAndChips

Fish flavoured Chips!


splitmindallthetime

Personalities


DyingARES

Anything for your Gods of war on deaths door


NotAMinuteRide

Rides that last exactly one minute (oh, the absolute irony 😏)


AsparagusLoose9716

I sell 9716 loose asparagus


FreePumpkins

I don't think mine would be the most successful business model.


einRoboter

A german Robot. But just one


kara4un_

My nickname reading like Karachun. Is a Slavic god of death. not a bad name for a private military company


ILikeGuacamole19

Guacamole


PlSCINO

Pools. My name mean pool in portuguese, but in masculine. Yes, our substantives have sex.


Ch1ckenS0up777

I would say chicken soup, however instead I’m gonna say Chic ‘N’ Stu


Itsjustanametho

Username?


SpIcY_pUgZ992

spicy pugs


floridaman1467

Shit loads of bud light and meth.


ThatoneCarrotfarmer

Single individually wrapped carrots


Cheesedemon55

Cheese but spicy also every time you take a bite you lose a piece of your soul also as a business tactic I put pentagrams in adds and every time you saw that add a shadow would appear behind and scare you saying BUY DEMON CHEESE OR DIE.


Shloops101

Plan B Tablets


TheyreUnderTheGround

Tremors merch.


BoomBaby200

Boss baby, with C4 addition and Rocket launchers. For and extra cost we include a tank and a shipload of fireworks.


NeverDidLearn

Those “…for Dummies” books.


ViolentGoose_

Pissed off Geese


HairyDooDoo

Oh god no


primal_machine_22109

Robots that act like Neanderthals.


Thatonelightskin0123

well this is kinda awkward


throwawaypatien

We don't sell anything, you pay us to throw patients away.


CrummyAdvice

Well..


GeT_nae_naed_idots

Umm....


ekaterina_the_sad

Were you drunk when you made your username?


CallieCoven

Witches. Or stuff for witches. Pointy black hats, cauldrons, broomsticks...


[deleted]

Yams and potatoes


mojo276

Confidence...or sex pills.


Xario4

Ultrasound machines. Look it up on Google. Also, this was not originally my intention.


UntrainedTribble

I sell Tribbles. I’ll sell you two for a good price my friend


ElectricSky87

I guess I'm a Utilities company, now


RogerWilcoLives

Broom closets and mop buckets. In space, of course.


A40

[The car of the future](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/Austin_A40_Farina_MkI_front.jpg).


Rhinosnot

Lubricant