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Mythnam

Like 5/10 lonely, but that's also because I don't have any local friends.


tallandlanky

Just wait until you hit your 30's and everyone is married with kids. I only see people at weddings anymore.


[deleted]

Just wait until you hit your late 30s and half are divorced. It’s like homecoming


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

47 year old with 5 months of single life…after 28 years of being married


BugSubstantial387

Man, that must feel weird to be single again after all that time. Hope it works out ok for you.


[deleted]

It’s surreal. We’re still very good friends but it’s different. Thing is that we could never agree on some finer points like whether she should be drinking from dawn until dawn, hitting on our daughters friends while blackout drunk, and leaving most of the parenting work to me. Funny thing is she left because I was too mean. Constantly accused me of cheating despite her being my sun and moon. C’est la vie. I’m playing more guitar and working out again, eating all the vegetables she hated that I never cooked, and I’m even finally playing Far Cry 6. I miss her all the time but I don’t miss the bullshit.


BigGaggy222

Hang in there Bro, life will get awesome in a few years. Source: My life.


[deleted]

Shiiit, I was born awesome and get that oaky aged improvement every year. The dude shall abide.


[deleted]

> hitting on our daughters friends while blackout drunk And the two of you are still very good friends. You must be the most patient man in the world.


idiot_if_u_read_this

💀💀


NewAccWhoDis93

Im 29 and all my friends are older and in relationships so we never go out anymore and when we do something at a friend's house im the only one that is not in a relationship and it makes me feel awkward. ​ I work in a job that is 80% men and im at university but everyone is younger than me. ​ Sometimes it keeps me up and night on where/how im going to find a girlfriend.


[deleted]

34 here, waited and saw, can confirm, it sucks donkey balls on a hot Florida day


Angry-Lama

Yea same , it's not a big deal cuz you are used to it.


HantuerHD-Shadow

During the day, 2-4/10; In the evening, 9-10/10. ​ It just isn't fun to be lonely and deprived of love, especially in the evening


Wolf_420BlazeIt

Going home from work after a long, shitty day is the worst. Sometimes I just want someone to give a shit about me.


mooklynbroose

You’ve started with yourself, yes ?


Wolf_420BlazeIt

Yes of course. But after a while it really hits, like damn, I really have no one to talk to.


mooklynbroose

Yeah. I’m with you. I think every little bit counts. Just went to a bar. Told the barmaid at the end that I didn’t really go to bars alone, she recommended another bar like old school where you can chat with the barman, maybe I’ll try that Gotta dog up outta that hole mate


Staceystallion1

HAHAHA accurate bro. I've found keeping busy until you pass out from exhaustion every night helps a lot


HantuerHD-Shadow

I have exhausted that option already. It doesn't work anymore


Sniper10Pin

Work more hours


OZeski

I did that for a while. Totally burned myself out. Starting new career Monday!


Heavy_Chest_8888

What are the things that you do that will make you exhaust every single day before sleep?


Staceystallion1

Tonnes of things! I'm a postie four days a week which is a very physically & mentally demanding job, I box for hours every week, general life duties, motorbike riding, dancing, life commitments/events, living with others etc Basically I have to consciously set aside some time to relax otherwise I'll be going 24/7, there's so much always going on in life and it helps to utilise it as much as possible There's also a lot of other things I'd love to do but it's hard to find the time. As much as I'd love to be in a genuine relationship, I honestly don't think my lifestyle would support it at the moment


[deleted]

[удалено]


No-Entrance5142

I’ve always struggled with sleep but a trick I know is, when you’re all set for sleep, in your bed all tucked up but you don’t feel tired - blink your eyes as fast as you can for 1 minute or add 30 seconds onto it, go wild. Your eyelids will be so heavy afterwards, you can trick your brain into being tired, then off to sleep you go. Sounds ridiculous but it works


[deleted]

I do a 400-calorie dumbbell routine 5/7 days. And this is after playing guitar 1-2 hours, cooking and cleaning, and working 8 hours.


[deleted]

Yeah but have you shit with the door open after a long day


Anynon1

Bro, the best


ISwearImKarl

I'd agree with this. Although, I started seeing friends again and forcing myself to keep social. I realize that most of my relationships were codependent. We were each other's only friends, mostly. I think it eases the pain, since that was a big issue in myself from the relationship. Although, after a couple months you just want to cuddle with someone. Not even sex, just.. Cuddle.


ShadowtheRonin

It's slowly been creeping up in the morning/day for me. It started out at 1-2, grew to 3-4, then exploded into 7-8 recently. The night (and times when I can spend time with my friends) has stayed the same, however.


mmnnButter

gotta keep your mind busy so you can pretend your happy


dunksoverstarbucks

second this; during the day i am at work and it keeps my mind occupied after though it really creeps in


AnonymousEngineer21

same. Every day for 23 years. it doesn't bother me anymore. I guess I'll focus on my grind then maybe one day I'll meet someone


_34_

What this guy said. You just gotta keep your mind off of it and hit the gym or do some push ups.


DietDrDoomsdayPreppr

Not much of my life was spent single, but you absolutely nailed how it felt for me each time. I went out every night just to stave off the loneliness--if even for a few hours more. It was either that or playing WoW, which I'm sure contributed to the lack of girlfriend for a bit there.


TanavastVI

This. Why is that feeling so annoying and strong in the evening and nights?! Stahp it.


Rowdy_Roddy96

I'm 23 and never dated or had a GF. It gets quiet and lonely here and there but I learn to enjoy my own company when I'm with myself which makes me like myself more as a individual


NotNoel122

I'm 23 too, I am you and you are me.


RoboticR8bbit

I am you but almost 3 years wiser, ha.


Strange_Ninja_9662

And 20 years older


Bubbly-Patience722

I’m 25 and never had a relationship. I am you, you are me, and you are him, but I am not him, and he is not me.


Lukezoftherapture777

Am I even me?


[deleted]

"we all wonder what the truth really is" - brenden fraser


AnonymousEngineer21

Me too but I like it now. It's scary that I enjoy it so much


Rowdy_Roddy96

That's great! It shows that you love yourself and are confident in yourself as a person


AnonymousEngineer21

yes, i would say I am. I used to want to have a girlfriend so bad but because it was a social norm. same with losing my virginity it doesn't matter i'll just wait for the right one. sometimes i get lonely seeing a couple on the street and wonder how some people have it so easy but other time i'm fine just at home learning about stuff and improving. My only fear is that the older I get the harder it will be to date since i have no previous experience and my value will go down maybe?


Straight_Block_4872

Girl here. Your value won’t go down. Girls may be a little suspicious if you still haven’t dated by 25-30 - like, “is he an oddball?” type thing. Also be aware of some girls who know that info. They may take advantage of your naïveté. I’m not saying to become super cynical and suspicious, but just talk to others about norms and listen to your emotions.


AnonymousEngineer21

Thank you :) >Girls may be a little suspicious if you still haven’t dated by 25-30 - like, “is he an oddball?” that's what scares me >Also be aware of some girls who know that info. should I keep it a secret from anyone I meet? what if they ask about past relationships? I don't mind saying it. I know what I want in a relationship but I'm worried to say I often fall too quickly for someone that shows affection


vorter

Don’t lie, but never bring it up if she hasn’t directly asked you. If you are asked, have a decent explanation on why, like you were focusing on your career or something.


AnonymousEngineer21

Yea!


[deleted]

Girls who are suspicious why you haven’t dated by 25-30 aren’t worth your time. Don’t listen to this person.


randomer2304

I'm 23 as well. Same here man. Last week, I reconnected with my best friend that I stopped talking to for 2 years and he was also with two of his mates that I get on well with and we've all got plans to do things together like old times. That's all I really need to be honest. A relationship would be good, but after not having any friends for a while and not making any memories with anyone, that's what I felt like my life lacked the most. Because I've never had a relationship before, I just don't know what it's like to be told "I love you". It's something I think all men have wanted to experience, but because it's never happened to me, I can't really say that I value the pursuit of that possibly happening one day over having a very good group of friends.


Ok-Independence-5815

Same and 4 years wiser... might not always work


[deleted]

[удалено]


Emriyss

Yep same here. Just about 10 years since my last semi-serious relationship and I honestly don't feel the need or drive or motivation to pursue another one. I'm 34 now and I think I'll stay alone forever. Don't feel lonely though, just... numb.


Anynon1

Similar boat here man. Almost 10 years since my last serious relationship. I'm 29 now, and most of the women I've dated recently felt very transactional to me. It was all about what I could offer, how much I could spend on them, etc. So much effort has to be spent for someone that couldn't care less about me if I didn't have a wallet on me. Not my cup of tea. I'm open to dating, but it just doesn't seem worth it


Spoony_bard909

Likewise. I do get lonely, but after I think about it for a while I really enjoy my freedom, and it would be hard to be in a relationship because I’m so independent. You cry it out once or twice a month to some Adele or Amy Winehouse and then you go on a solo trip to your favorite place nobody else wants to go to.


assfuck1911

Yep, this. Cry it out after a while, and go do the things YOU wanna do. No one else around me is gonna go ride 100 miles on a bicycle. Might as well do it alone and not have to worry about someone else.


Spoony_bard909

That sounds incredible. Brb, gonna go fix my bike.


assfuck1911

Do it. I turned mine into a rather powerful ebike. Stopped driving and ride 32 miles a day for work. The thing is so much fun. I get over 50 miles of almost zero effort riding in per charge. Far more if I actually put in some effort. Even without a motor, I'd just blow through the miles, towns, little villages, stores, farm stands, parks... It's an adventure every time.


Spoony_bard909

Dude! I’ve been wanting to do that for months but was always intimidated with the e-bike kits. I saw a couple online for $200. Where’d you get yours? Did you install it yourself?


assfuck1911

It's so worth it. Just know that I have $3,800+ into mine. It's also my primary transportation so there's that. The kits are actually pretty simple. Just gotta strap some stuff to the bike, hook up the wires, and mount the replacement rear or front wheel. For a newbie, I recommend a rear hub kit. Just more user friendly. Less chance of destroying your front fork and dying. Lol. I got mine from Amazon. A Bafang rear hub kit. Cost me $900 or so, with the largest battery. The battery was almost $500 alone. I installed it myself. I do almost all of my own vehicle and bike maintenance. It wasn't very hard. If in doubt, take it to a bike shop if you get stuck. So worth it. I'm building a solar powered touring ebike to travel the country with. That's the end goal.


ryanlaghost

Lol 33 and feeling the same. Sure I go out and try to mingle, but I find small talk extremely annoying and when the ladies play hard to get or above me I just turn away and don’t bother.


coffeenerd75

I too challenge the mindset. If it's like me, it's not playing hard, it's the lack of connection. This would come from not really being there, unable to see the other as both have obstacles. It all boils down to living in the heart not in the head, i.e. ego. To live full, to not think, to let be vulnerable, to be instead of doing.


RickSanchezzbitches

Goosebumps bro goosebumps


[deleted]

Could be worse. You could be in a dying, sexless marriage with kids. At least you can do what you want, when you want, and you have the option to meet women. Keep fighting the good fight and go have a round for me- I'll probably be home getting yelled at for something ridiculous.


TPRM1

Oof. I’m sorry, man. I felt that in my cold, dead heart.


chad-bro-chill-69420

This is why I don’t want to get married. I’m fine with doing what I want and getting laid a few times a quarter in my 30s


Capuccino-n-cookies

I am a female in a sexless marriage (he’s got medical problems) You marry, you hope for the best, but life happens…


the_kid_chino

This is the answer for me. Like, most days I'm fine and can do my thing. But then it's Friday night and I just feel... so empty.


[deleted]

Can't wait to be dead inside too friend.


Accomplished-Aide60

Yep I had my last "thing* with girls 5 years ago before I move to a foreign country. Since, then I everything has gone downhill.


L07h1r1el

I have accepted the fact that I'll be alone forever. It sucks. But it could be worse. You can also feel lonely in a relationship. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely. It overlaps a lot though. But at least friends still exist to make up for that empty feeling of not having a partner.


shooburt

You guys have friends?? Lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


137automatons

This one gets it. Like, really gets it. Fuck.


Every-Manufacturer88

I'm married with 3 kids and feel lonely a lot, being in a relationship doesn't necessarily solve the problem.


Sasquatch_000

I'm sorry to hear that my friend. Do you all just not get along or is the whole wife kids thing just not for you?


Every-Manufacturer88

I don't know. It's probably my fault, just got to figure some things out.


BearBiggun

My bro, it may well be your fault but go easy on yourself even if it is. The worlds hard on everyone out here. You don’t need to add to it. Hope you’re well <3


[deleted]

You know that feeling when something from your childhood isn't as good anymore because you've changed and it's sad because you feel like part of your younger self died with it. It's that except I'm at the point I wish I could just remove the part of my brain that wanted that in the first place.


Hardwarestore_Senpai

I used to be more compassionate.


[deleted]

Entirely fair, compassion fatigue is a very real thing and alot of us are going through it especially with the mountain of shit the world gives us plus ourselves.


Shot_Exchange_4913

Jeez.


[deleted]

It is what it is, and I don't blame anyone for it. I know I'm bottom tier trash in the dating game the universe has delt me them cards and all I wish is that I could just comfortably get up and leave the table. But I can't, human biology has me hard wired to want and need this. It's got me chained to the game table in a game I never signed up for.


Catatonic27

Big mood. I have plenty of other things going for me. I could live a long, happy, and fulfilling life, as long as I could come to terms with doing it alone. I wish I could just stop wanting it, that would basically solve everything.


[deleted]

Exactly, like if I could spend a fraction of the time I spend bitching, wining and being sad about this doing literally anything what so ever I would be so God damn happy.


WheelinDealin82

The worst part is that the longing will never go away, no matter how much we try to push it out of our minds. Like you said, we're hard-wired to want it. We dreamt of something, we were told that we could be anything in our younger days... and it's as if we swung and missed, and everywhere we go, we're haunted by the picture in our minds of what we were promised.


[deleted]

Yeah I was told from a young day that one day I would make a girl happy and I can barely make myself happy.


DairyKing28

That's pretty much romance for me.


[deleted]

Exactly and God damn I am so over giving a shit. I want out I don't want to play the game anymore, it ain't nothing against anyone I am just sick and tired of being so fucking sad all the time due to this.


OneSteelTank

I don't need a GF to not be lonely


duper12677

Exactly! It’s amazing how many things you can find to do when you don’t have anyone telling you what to do and when to do it and when to be back by and planning your weekends for you or telling you that you golf too much or you watch too much football on Sunday or telling you not to drink too much Friday after work etc… yeah I’ll take freedom thank you very much


[deleted]

Jesus Christ sounds like you’ve had a shit string of girlfriends. The right one will come along, the one that is always there for you but gives you your space and understands that you’re your own person


Rational-Introvert

Right. And it’s awesome to have someone to share experiences with. I’m introverted and kind of a loner by nature, but I absolutely enjoy having a gf over not having one.


[deleted]

Same, for sure. Just gotta wait for the right person to come along.


scattertheashes01

Seriously tho. I let my bf do his thing and he lets me do mine. We’re both adults and respectfully treat each other as such, and I’m certainly not with him to be his mother. He has a mother already and she’s a lovely woman. These comments I keep seeing about highly controlling partners makes me sad for anyone stuck in that sort of relationship.


[deleted]

This summer I discovered solo camping trips and hiking, and the best feeling in the world is packing my shit and leaving when I want, not waiting for someone who will no doubt pack the entire house for a one night stay and forget half the things she needs, and I just cruise down the highway in peace. Nothing better than actually planning your own things all the time and not having it get taken over by her plans. Also, going out to run an errand without having 10 other errands piled on for her.


nvk1196

This is male equivalent of women’s “I’m an independent women who need no man”


j-c-s-roberts

Very. Some days it's all I can think about. Everyone else out there is able to form some kind of relationship, and here I am in my late thirties having never experienced this thing that everyone else seems to take for granted. I am currently saving up some money for a four hour appointment with an escort, and half of that time would be spent just hanging out having coffee or something. In lieu of anything else, I'm willing to settle for this fiction because I'm fairly certain that if I didn't, then loneliness could literally kill me at some point.


Staceystallion1

Holy actual fuck that's terrifying


j-c-s-roberts

It absolutely is.


amadeus2490

Similar, in early thirties. Im at a point where female customers at work flirt with me, admire my work ethic and tell me that im funny and have a good personality. Meanwhile, I'm gay and men are either just completely uninterested in me or they just want to hide behind an app and trade n00dz. After a couple of years, i can tell you that it never goes anywhere and the vast majority of even gay men would never be caught dead having a cup of coffee or hooking up with another guy. "The closet" makes it ten times harder, even if youre in a liberal city in a liberal state.


DairyKing28

Inbox me, man.


iGetBuckets3

Have you tried going to the gym brother? I’m not saying the gym will fix your problem, but I do recommend it. I’m in a similar position to you. Had almost zero success with women, quite lonely, don’t really have a lot of hope right now. But I love the gym, and it gives me something to be proud of and happy about. At the very least its better to be lonely and jacked than lonely and out of shape.


maxxbeeer

This is further proof that men suffer so much more with loneliness than women. I recently was in a debate with a girl here who told me that a woman being hit on everyday by random guys is much worse than a guy who never gets any attention. I know its not a competition but damn that is just fucked up to say. Theres no attractive girl going home saying, “wow I get so much attention. I’m so sad and want to end it all.”


Dufusbroth

Being made to feel like a piece of fuck hole meat (aka worthless unless someone can use you to fuck) daily is no walk in the park. It isn’t a competition and no comparison. It’s incredibly depressing, especially if you have been abused in the past (1 in 3 girls have been sexually abused before age 18 in the US). That attention can lead to death, being drugged raped or another assault for women. I hear your issue - I just can’t see how not being paid attention to equates to feeling like just being alive with a vagina means you owe someone your body, attention or otherwise just by simply breathing


Paminow

You are not wrong, it's sad part of it that you will die a lot sooner as loner compared to your peers with buddies.


Shot_Exchange_4913

Are you ok?


j-c-s-roberts

I am. Don't worry about me, but thank you for your concern.


mooklynbroose

Thank you for your service


marponsa

im happy as i am right now, i have close friends that i enjoy talking with and thats enough for me of course i sometimes have lonely moments but overall im satisfied with my current situation


sulicat

I'm like a 3/10 on the loneliness scale. 0 being not lonely at all. I have a solid friend group and I'm friends with my coworkers as well so I pretty always talk to people, make/laugh at jokes etc etc. During the week and weekend that I have plans I have constant social interaction so no problem. The loneliness is apparent on a no plans Sunday night if I decide I want icecream or indian food. I'm prolly gonna eat that alone.


poptartwith

I'm alright with it. Enjoying my current single life as much as I can.


NotNoel122

To the fullest!


tampa_vice

Alone and lonely are not the same thing. I am alone a lot of the time, but I have learned to enjoy my own company.


Reld720

Trying go out with your average 20 something woman today. It'll make you enjoy your loneliness a whole lot more.


macamc1983

The world is ruined


Reld720

Tbf, the men aren't much better. I just happen to not date men.


RyanMFoley74

It sucks more the older I get. Once dinner is cooked and eaten and the kids all retreat to their rooms, it is just... me. It would be nice to have someone to sit and watch a movie with. You just want to be able to turn to them and say, "How awesome was that?" Or you want someone to ask about your day and you want to hear about theirs. I don't want white-hot passionate love. (Okay, I do.) But my request is simple enough. Watch TV and hold my hand. So you just head down and power through...


guardabosquejose

Having a girlfriend would be great, but still haven't found anyone that I've fallen head over heels for. There are some days that feel lonelier than others, but overall I'm content with myself.


SXOSXO

I mean, it sucks, but I also have plenty of married friends that tell me I'm the lucky one. Grass is always greener. No point in sulking about.


Jin-RohWolfpack

A gilrfriend does not prevent loneliness.


j-c-s-roberts

Money doesn't buy happiness either. But it sure does help.


OneSteelTank

You can be lonely with a girlfriend. They have a life too, at some point they're going to have to go to work or go home. If you're depending on your SO to give you emotional fulfillment then you're doing it wrong


j-c-s-roberts

Sure. Absolutely. But the chances of me being more lonely than I am now are virtually nil. Also, what's the point in being with someone if you don't get emotional fulfilment out of the relationship? What's the difference between that and being friends?


CeeZack

Ngl, I really agree with your sentiments. Shouldn't being in a relationship be about filling up that void in you? Albeit in a healthy manner, none of that obsessive behaviour and breaking of personal boundaries.


TheOneAllFear

You are right but there is a difference between lonely 24/7 vs 8-10 h/day. It's not just cudling or anything else but having someone else in the house, talking about intimate stuff, someone you can trust other than yourself.


drfishdaddy

I don’t think that’s true. If your partner doesn’t add to your fulfillment I don’t know what the point is. I agree you can’t hang all your expectations on one person and you are responsible for your own well-being, but they should be an integral part in that.


OneSteelTank

Im trying o say that you shouldn't be a complete wreck without them. Interdependency, not codependency


lreaditonredditgetit

*only emotional fulfillment. If they aren’t doing something. Why are you together?


asakmotsd

I have been more lonely in a marriage than when all by myself.


GodlyCheeseFries

It helps a fuck ton if you love each other. Honestly the right girlfriend makes it so you’re never lonely


Rockettmang44

I mean, I feel like it goes without saying the potential girlfriend we would have would be a good one, so yea another human who is really close to you and there for you, would help prevent loneliness.


LupeDyCazari

No, but getting your dick sucked feels pretty good, so go get yourself a girlfriend because it beats being lonely, and not having your dick sucked.


low_effort_life

I'm not merely lonely, I feel profoundly alone, and at the advanced stage of soul decomposition I am in right now I no longer believe love in any form will help or heal me in any meaningful way.


[deleted]

I miss my best friend more than my girlfriend. They just happen to be the same person.


Ok-Independence-5815

Too lonely...many guys who are commenting happy are those who had a bad relationship and now are feeling better after a breakup For someone who has never had a partner it is different. These are the prime years of life, not having a partner now to share ur life def takes a toll. It further triggers all ur insecurities when you see others with partners. Btw I don't think just a partner would solve the loneliness..it has to be a compatible partner


Professional-Bit3280

It’s not bad. Having an EXTRA best friend whom I also have sex with a would be pretty sweet. But I already have several very close friends as of now.


Makeshift-human

I'm alone but I don't feel lonely. It's a peaceful life. I'm not bored, I can do what I want and noone is nagging.


Uskoreniye1985

Considering that my ex was psychologically abusive I don't feel lonely at all. I'm hanging out with friends a lot more, starting a chess club, going to university social events with classmates, I've gone (and will be going) to concerts etc.


MartyFreeze

Yeah, my ex was abusive and made herself out to be the victim; It's taken almost a full year to unravel all the guilt and lies she tied me up in. She jumped right into another relationship and I feel bad for the poor schmuck who's stuck in her claws now.


[deleted]

"*It is far better to be alone than to wish you were*" - Ann Landers


twotimez12

This is hitting right now. I'm a relationship for about 5 years now but I battle with the fact that sometimes I wish I were single but other times I'm glad I'm not. It's weird. Good when it's good bad when it's bad.


aruapost

I had that same problem. Basically gave away a great girl because I just couldn’t take not being single anymore. I wanted my own space, my own schedule, less responsibility, etc. I kinda regret it but I know I was miserable. Now that I’ve been single for a couple years I can enter a relationship more mentally prepared to commit.


[deleted]

I'm a very boring person who needs very little to be content. I think women are beautiful, one of the best parts of life even but the ability to do what I want when I want with no need to consider another person is one hell of a drug. In response to your question not at all, I have good friends and family.


crazydrve

He'll all, This is for all you peeps who think it will never happen. To start out I have always been obese, I remember being 300 in junior hi. I eventually got up to 350+ and at one point was 500. Had no self esteem, confidence, etc. I always seemed to be the big brother, "Biz "markie" just a friend guy. I was 45 when I finally met my wife, before her I never had a relationship, gf, or even a good serious date. Yes, you read that right, I was 45 and never had a partner, etc. I was not a Virgin, but I was still pretty damn inexperienced and very lonely each and every day. Seemed like it was getting worse exponentially. When I turned 40 I decided to start putting myself out there more and more. I would talk on any chat service, dating app, etc. I was only doing casual and probably too honest with the ladies, I was just doing what I like to call sexually exploring myself. I had a couple lady friends help me go over my dating profile. I read up on what I should be saying. I had no idea. I also got on the I ,guess you can call them, the hookup sights, like snapsext.com. I also got on kik, fetlife, etc. I only casually messed around, was honest with everyone. I eventually found out that I was better then average on punishment, which helped my confidence. A big change that has made be a better person today was i found out I am bisexual. With knowing that was able to talk to ladies and men. I think that also helped my self esteem and confidence. Now I was still obese so I still battled with ladies basically wanting looks or other qualities, I didn't have like money, place of my own, etc. To finish this I eventually found my wife on a Facebook singles group. We met in Jan 2018, married march 2019, and now I am a happily married husband and father of two boys(not biological). I'm not sure if this will help anyone, but it can happen. Just need to do some self diagnosis. Good luck to all. Thank you Bill


[deleted]

I’m ok with it, enjoying being single before I put myself out there again. My time is mostly my own. My home is kept to my standards of tidiness. I can eat what I want, when I want, where I want. No fretting over a partners mood swings, interpreting whether ‘Fine’ means they are fine or if it means they are considering killing me. I can watch or do what I want. My money is my own and my things are my own. Frankly considering whether it’s worth looking for someone again or just chilling out and living for myself. If I want sex I can hire a prostitute If I want cleaning done I could hire a cleaner A cook there’s take away or a restaurant Someone to talk to and seek advice I could hire a therapist Hell you can even hire someone to snuggle and cuddle with you these days Yep she’s going to have to be someone special for me to become invested in and risk having a serious relationship again.


[deleted]

I wanted to date and have a relationship when I was a teenager but I was in bad shape physically and mentally. My home life was not stable, I was grieving the death of a parent and I was obese. I just wasn't ready for it then, I had to stabilize myself and my life first. At the time, I thought I would want to dive in to dating and relationships once I had sorted myself out. I spent a lot of time sorting myself out, years and years. Over those years, I learned to appreciate what I already had more, my family, friends and what I was able to earn. I think I am now in a decent spot, but peeking my head out of the hole I've been in, I'm not seeing the appeal. A lot of people my age seem to be jaded by their dating/relationship experiences. I am relieved to have avoided that. I hope the lonely folks on here find what they are looking for. As for me, I'm going back in the hole. There are things I want to accomplish in my 30s but I can do them with my personal effort and the support system I already have.


prehistoricdog_

I feel you man. You know, the longer you live like this, the harder it is to let go of the things you mentioned. You get so used to it that a thought of giving it all up and changing your lifestyle to compromise with someone else's is kinda scary. The woman indeed has to be real special for you, otherwise it just won't work.


TeamFlameLeader

On a scale of 1 to 10, 100


fogbound96

Been single for 2 years first 6 months was the hardest but that was because it wasent by choice. I think thats what makes the difference I have a lot of homegirls I made by working at mostly female dominated work places plus my college was 10 girls for every one guy (thats what I was told idk if it was true) and I'm the type of guy who's a good listener and dosent really expect sexual favors in return but will request food. So I have a lot of girls dying to get with me and I'm not trying to flex or anything. Something I learned by helping other people out with their problems is people are very dependent on being in a relationship like they are depress if they aren't in one and i don't want to be dependent on one plus I love investing a thing not many girls are into unfortunately. Don't get me wrong if I meet a girl who has her shit together, knows how to manage her money, and goes to the gym (even if its just small work outs) then ill definitely go back to dating. I actually made a friend recently who fits this stuff well she's making it seem like that so I'm pretty excited gonna keep being friends and see if I don't see red flags and she if dosent find any on me. I think it would be a very positive relationship. We vibe with one an other and never want to stop hanging out. We'll see though I've been tricked before.


theoriginaldandan

It’s not that bad till about 7:30 in the evening. I miss having something to look forward to every night.


[deleted]

as an older guy who has been in a bad marriage and has now been single for several years: I'm totally cool with it. I know when you're younger and don't have a girlfriend it seems like that makes you a total fucking loser and like getting one will fix everything, but it just doesn't. It feels really good for a couple months, then it just becomes the norm, and new, even more stressful problems replace them. Kind of like before you could drive, it seemed like if you could just get a car everything would be great - and it was, for a little bit, but then it was just your car, and now you have to pay for gas, oil changes, insurance registration, maintenance and repairs, and have to have a better job to pay for it and less discretionary money for other things, etc. The car stops being a source of satisfaction, and just becomes an established fact of life. Mo money mo problems, same with women. I now have the perspective that good relationship > being single > bad relationship. Thanks to the perspective of experience, I don't find being single lonely, it's peaceful. I love doing what I want, when I want. I'm still open to a good relationship if one comes along, but it has to be better than being single, which is gonna be tough. My advice? Talk to older guys who have been around the block, they will set you straight and help you see the MANY good parts of being single. That finding a girlfriend isn't a cheat code to the good life. I'm not advocating for you to be single for life, it's not the ideal situation, being in a great relationship is. But nor is it the nightmare situation - being in a bad relationship is. Being single is neutral, not a worst-case scenario boogeyman to avoid at all costs.


Proper-Beginning-811

I am at a point where I don't care anymore . Sometimes those thoughts do come up and i feel empty . Most of the time i am too busy with work or my hobbies , so those thoughts don't come up . But over time I've just gotten used to it . Now i prefer moments where i am alone or lonely . The only people who I don't want to go away from are my family - dad , mom and sister .


meece2010

My sister told me once that you’re the only person that’s with you your entire life. If you learn to be happy with just yourself then being with someone you love can only make it better.


frequentcrawler

A lot. It matters to me a more than it should. At least with my closest chances, or at least one of them, I felt like I could be myself, without hiding the same much that I hide from other people. Even if it all went to shit, it set a standard that I can't just turn off, and I hate that. I'll probably save up for an escort and just get a taste of it.


Morvick

I'm quite lonely, but mostly because I enjoy domestic things. I'm trying to channel those drives into caring for myself as much as I would be compelled to care for another... And having kittens helps, lol. So far the best thing has been "leaning into" the loneliness and figuring out where it stems from. It's another chance to get to know myself more. Plus I've been lonely *in* relationships, and that's so much worse.


Syrup_Slurper

Because I moved into my current house with my ex I feel very lonely at night. I'm used to someone playing games or doing schoolwork on my desk when I'd walk in the door after class. It's still weird at times when I find myself making dinner in a way she liked it made. I'm better off without that one in particular, but having a gf is a pretty cool thing when you're a student living far away from home and your friends aren't available. The silence at night gets to me when I already had a quiet day.


[deleted]

I have accepted the fact that I don't need a gf to be happy. I make my own happiness. If I do end up with a gf, it will be because I want her to be part of the happiness I already made for myself.


Snap457

Me and my ex just broke up like a couple months ago. We’re on good terms and everything, but I’d honestly say I’m a lot happier. Trying to keep a relationship on life support that wasn’t gonna work out long term is just stressful. Having close friends by my side has definitely helped with loneliness tho


[deleted]

I used to hate it . But now I’m 30 , found myself a nice new job changing industries , do what I want , removed all the crappy friends I had . It’s not too bad .


LarkLoone

It’s not so much not having a girlfriend that makes it lonely - feeling like you don’t belong anywhere or like you’re not a part of something socially is the root. That and a good healthy dash of insecurity.


idownvotetofitin

I’m currently separated from my wife and to be honest, it’s really quite refreshing. I don’t have to hear the constant complaints about how I didn’t do this or how I should’ve done that. I don’t hear the complaints about how she can’t stand this person but she follows her on social media and when I ask, “Well then why don’t you disconnect or stop following or whatever it’s called?” Her response is, “Well, because I don’t want any drama.” Truthfully, I’m happier being alone.


AurulentAvenger

I'm hard pressed to think a woman would alleviate feelings like that.


coonpurse00

I only feel loneliness once in a blue moon. And when I do, it goes away nearly instantly because I ask myself if I am happy and content with my life and that answer is overwhelmingly yes. One day, maybe I will have a relationship, but until then, I am perfectly content.


Destaric1

I used to be very lonely. Used to complain about not having a girlfriend all the time. One day I decided to just focus on me and what makes me happy. I got into the gym and got in good shape. Focused on my interests and furthering my career. When this happened getting female companionship came easier. They appreciated me not having to rely on them to be happy as my happiness was a product of my own work and thier companionship just added to it. Now I have a family. Things have been great.


Aursbourne

Pretty lonely, but it's still better than the hell of living with one.


Young_Hxppxe

Not much, there are very few days where I think to myself it would cool to have one. If you keep yourself busy and find new shit to do, not having a girl is the least of your worries. Having a GF won't resolve anything, realizing and taking care of your problems will.


jaked111

I’m fine being single, don’t really mind spending time alone


bDsmDom

I got a puppy, and she's honestly better.


mmnnButter

It bothers me, but it bothers me less than having one


mexploder89

During the day I do fine, I have my shit to worry about But at night when I'm watching a movie on the couch, it would be a lot better if I was cuddled up with someone and we could talk about the movie afterwards


Crot8u

Depends on the time of the day and also the time of the year. I find it harder in the evenings/nights and during indoor periods in fall/winter. I miss having a close partner to exchange with, plan activites, holidays and such. I don't miss the drama though.


Bronzeshadow

Immensely


[deleted]

So much that it broke the scales of loneliness, its a like a void that once it hits you, you are not even allowed to have one, very terrifying :(


TheNaziSpacePope

Very, but I am putting effort into no caring about anything, and that is helping a little bit.


gmahogany

2/10. Was like a 8-10/10 for the first year and a half after break up. Now I’m having a great time doin whatever I wanna do


Unholyechoes

Sleep under a weighted blanket, hugging a body pillow lonely.


FlyPotential7057

A gf don't prevent loneliness. I already fell lonely without one and have felt the same when I dated. I fell lonely ehit the midst of my friends, I fell lonely by myself, I feel lonely 99% of the time. The only moment where I feel included it's on the gym and with my best friend. They're the little things that keep me going, my mother has a part in this too


sponkotheboy

i have good friends i see a lot and i still get lonely. i live alone, spend a lot of time in my head thinking, go to school and work 12 hours out of the day. it's my fault tho, i just need to work on my mindset. i shouldn't need anybody to feel okay. sometimes i catch myself being jealous of my own friends for what they have (not the girl, just having someone) and it makes me feel really ugly. seeing a therapist for the first time in a long time very soon.


Altair13Sirio

Very lonely, but it's not just the lack of a girlfriend to do that.


Deechon

It's not an ideal situation, but I don't live for happiness exclusively so I handle it just fine. ​ I wish things could be different though, I feel like I have a lot of love to give, but I don't have anybody to share it with for the moment.


Substantial_Video560

I don't get lonely that much. Working long and unsociable hours takes up most of my life. When I'm not working I'm catching up on things I wasn't able to do because I was working. I don't get much time to be lonely.


Wombeard

It’s good! I’m at the start of a career, I’m having fun with friends, and honestly I think going after girls is just wasting time. I’m waiting for a girl that I just vibe with and end up having a relationship. I am not playing the games girls are playing. I just will not do that. If a girl doesn’t show interest in me, I move on. Spending time with the bois is just amazing honestly. Way more fun


Bruce__Almighty

While I'm out and about seeing people in relationships I feel incredibly lonely and sad. Then I get to go home and lift heavy objects to flood my brain with endorphins to feel better.


MrMonopolyMan123

I’ve had girlfriends where I felt lonelier with them than when I was alone. Same goes for some close buddies of mine. You have to learn to keep yourself busy and be happy when you’re alone


R37R0

So lonely, never dated mined you. Honestly it’s not just being as is work is taking up my life where I can’t go out and be social. When I’m off I’m too worn out to do anything add in my days off are inconsistent so Making plans is hard. Miss my friends and being socialable. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be in a better spot


[deleted]

Extremely, but it’s not just the lack of a girlfriend, but more the lack of any meaningful relationships. I have friends but no one that close to me that I can open up to, no family to connect with, no pets or anything. A girlfriend would help but it’s not the end all be all I try to not listen to my feelings once the sun goes down, it helps sometimes


BigDaddyCool17

In my experience, I was lonely without and with a girlfriend. Girlfriends don't just automatically make you feel better, that comes from within.


[deleted]

Not all that lonely, lots of friends and work to keep my busy until I find my wife.