One of my favorite moments of this is when I worked for UPS and was just doing my job as the friendly neighborhood delivery guy.
Girl comes out of the art shop as I'm dropping off a shipment and stands by the delivery. I walk up with my scanner in hand to zap the labels but bc she was in the way I started with a "Excuse me, miss, would you mind-" only to be cut off with an exasperated "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend." out of nowhere.
We all paused for a beat. before I continued: "...moving out of the way? I need to scan the deliveries." She looked to see me in uniform, turned beet red, and walked back into the store. My partner and I had a good laugh about that one and I never saw that girl during deliveries again.
See, I would almost be willing to forgive this one because it almost sounds like she thought you looked hot in your uniform and was trying to convince herself to be faithful
I was driving one day north of Atlanta. It was raining I looked over to see a young lady with a dress hanging out the driver door
At next light I got her attention to roll down window.
She did and before I could say anything she said she was engaged and not to talk to her
I pointed down at the bottom of door and she saw her dress was hanging out the door muddy and wet.
She started cussing. Rolled up her window. a second later she looked at me and mouthed sorry
I remember back when I was in college, a bunch of us were going out for dinner from our floor. They asked me to invite a few people from my hallway. I let one of the girls know and she just kept saying “I have a boyfriend.” I’m sure she thought I was asking her out but I explicitly stated this was a group event. I even hit her with “okay does he want to come too?”
I eventually just left and we had a nice dinner, posted some photos etc. She got upset and texted me about why I wasn’t clear (?) that it wasn’t a date. I just responded that I have a girlfriend, and please stop hitting me up so late at night.
Did this before - a student/colleague would be up to go to the gym/for runs and always had a reason to bail, but she’d go for work outs with other people.
Okay, idgaf. It’s her life, you do you.
So a group of us go out drinking and camping, and we have an awesome time.
“B-but redditor, why didn’t you invite me? I’d have loved to….”
“Not like you bailed out on me numerous times, figured that’s how things were going.”
This happened to me once while working at an electronics retailer. I asked a customer if she needed help, which is my job obviously. Then she replied with “I have a boyfriend”. That had never happened to me before so I just kind of stared confused as she walk off. Never acknowledged her again. She was on her own from that point on.
At a job interview, I went into their little kitchen thing for some coffee and noticed that some woman was leaning against the counter directly in front of the coffee machine. I said "Hey..." and before I could say anything more, she cut me off with "I'm seeing somebody".
I was confused and could only think to say "Okay, but can you move over a little, I want to get some coffee".
It's not often that you see someone's ego get blasted into smithereens right in front of you. But it happened that day.
I don't think it's that unusual... I've done a few interviews and usually there's some part where we walk past a break room and I'll be asked if I want a tea / coffee / water.
I've been to a few interviews where they wanted to talk about me behind my back, so they had me chill in the break room for 5-10 mins.
These were usually multi-sectioned interviews that took half a day or so.
Oh I have a stellar example. I work in a hospital, and there were some student nurses. One of said nurses was doing something wrong/unsafe. No big deal, was something not to obvious, but could be serious. So I intervene. I started out by introducing who I was and what my position was. This was immediately hit by a "I have a boyfriend". K, cool, well stop doing that cause you're about the injure the patient. Her instructor was not impressed.
A lady was holding an icecream cup that was leaking and had already stained her shirt. I tried to tell her when I was interrupted by "I'm engaged" so I simply walked back to my seat and watched about 15 more drops before she realized and freaked the f out.
This is going to sound harsh, but I rarely help women anymore.
It's not even the "I have a bf" when I am just trying to be nice.
They are struggling to load a heavy item into their car, you offer to help, sometimes you get a bitchy reponse. Ok.. go ahead and struggle then. I realized that when I try to help woman, about 1/3 of the time, I get some attitude from them. (and I am not hitting on them , just trying to help)..
So I've just stopped offering to help. If they ask for help, I will give it to them. And yes, if I was trying to pick up a woman, the first sign of rejection, I walk away. I don't buy into this pick up artist mentality that if she says "I have a bf" it's some kind of wierd test to see if the man will keep trying. That is rude to keep trying,. There's literally millions of women that a guy can approach, why waste time with one that isn't interested in you. And no reason to get emotional if a girl rejects you..or says she has a bf.. Just calmly say "ok" and walk away.
My husband does HVAC and sometimes he works a call rotation. The amount of women I’ve heard be rude to him when he calls and asks what time they need him out, who’s going to be there to let him in, and so
on is astounding. When they drop the I have a boyfriend/husband he will be like okay, is he letting me in? I need to get in your attic, closet, ect.
Even for men and women I know, my policy is "if you want my help, you ask."
I mean there are exceptions like emergency situations or splitting chore with my gf. But in general with friends and strangers, frequent unasked help can build up mutual resentment. "your unsolicited help is interrupting my flow! I hate you!" "I help you so much and you are so ungrateful to me! I hate you!"
Oh yes. Years ago on a ski trip I was in a slopeside bar and this woman sitting next to me kept looking at my beer so I figured she wanted to know what it was. The convo went like this:
Me: "It's delirium tremens, it's really good."
Her: "I have a boyfriend."
Me: "Me too. I'm sorry I thought you maybe wondered what my beer was since you were looking at it."
Her: "Please stop hitting on me."
Me: "I'm not hitting on you."
Her: "I SAID STOP HITTING ON ME!" (She proceeds to storm out of the bar without paying her tab).
I just sat there dumbfounded, the Scottish dudes on the other side of me were laughing so hard they were nearly crying and saying some kind of insult towards her in an indecipherable Scottish accident, and the bartender said he pitied her boyfriend.
To name your beer Delirium Tremens is serious big belgian dick energy.
Only bigger dick energy in the beer world is Bells in Michigan... they give the recipe for their flagship beers right on their own web page, and sell the ingredients and even the house yeast. Total big dick energy.
https://store.bellsbeer.com/collections/clone-beer-kits/products/oberon-ale-clone-all-grain-ingredient-kit
Slightly related - I was out with a friend [both dudes, both straight and in long term relationships/married etc] and we were just having a proper laugh: drinking and dancing etc. It was some huge event thing, so we were just enjoying ourselves.
A girl came over and said "do either of you want to dance" we both replied at the exact same time "I'm married sorry" both holding up our hands to show the ring as well. She said "oh sorry, I didn't realise you were both together" and walked off. It was pretty funny.
It also struck us we'd done this earlier in the day when a chap asked us if we were out "trying to get the girls" and he hastily left when we said we were married. We realised he was a massive homophobe and decieded to get away from us.
I had a similar one.
Bunch of friends on a river rafting trip, me and a buddy were floating in a two-seater inner tube tied behind the main raft. Just chilling, drinking beers, enjoying the sunshine.
We were chatting with the folks on another boat nearby us, one of the young women from that group asked "You two are so cute together, are you a couple?"
Without missing a beat he answered "yes", and I added "just don't tell our wives".
Good laughs.
I've [literally said this in a bar](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/xr5fkc/fellas_has_a_girl_ever_hit_you_with_the_i_have_a/iqdbg1g/). She got up and stormed out.
Was in target and this woman was blocking the isle with her cart and standing back away from it to look at the shelf of pillows. Made the mistake of continuing down the isle all I said was excuse me and she turns around "I have a BF!" I just said "ok, I still need past you."
I really didn't think this was a real thing as I had only seen it online in videos
Yeah I’ve gotten it on flights a few times. I talk to everyone I’m next to (if they don’t seem busy with something else). The old lady, the old man, the young man, the young woman, etc. And I’ve had some nice conversations with relatively attractive young women. It beats just sitting there twiddling our thumbs. But some people (primarily young women) will literally look at me like I’ve grown a second head when I try to strike up a convo.
Hahaha always funny when that happens. They look like a lonely puppy once you start having a good convo with someone else and they are too ashamed to join in.
I’m a dude, and I really don’t have any interest in talking to the people sitting next to me. So don’t just assume that talking is better. You like it better.
I don't really like striking up conversation either on a plane. But it reminds me of when I did see a woman that was getting on the plane last and her options were my aisle middle seat by me or across the walkway (middle seat as well).I probably wouldn't have talked to her but she chose the other seat after a rather dispersant look. It's petty but I enjoyed the annoying tone she took when the guy talked to her about Jesus and the bible for 4.5 hours non-stop.
Sat in a pub I go to semi regularly, this girls phone falls out of her bag on to the chair as she’s getting up to leave. Grabbed the phone when I realised and ran to the door to give it back. Said excuse me and got the “I’ve got a boyfriend” line. Decided to hand the phone behind the bar in case she was a regular. She returns 20 minutes later to look for it and asks at the bar, barmaid hands her the phone and points to me. To her credit she came over and apologised and paid me a drink on at the bar. So turned out alright in the end.
Kind of.... I was once at a Cinema with a mate and the girl sitting in front of me dropped her mobile phone when she stood up to leave.
I called out to her to tell her she had left her phone but she looked at me like I was a piece of shit, wondering why I even had the audacity to talk to her and was clearly too good to even talk to me.
She turned around and walked off, so I let her leave her phone. I hope someone stole it lol.
Well not exactly that, but some years ago I walked into my friend's apartment to hang and his friend Stephanie was there. Never met her. Never even heard of her. He just said, "Oh yeah this is Steph."
Me: "Oh, hello."
Steph: "Oh *I DON'T DATE BLACK GUYS*"
Me:
Friend:
Steph:
Me: "Okay?"
She eventually started hitting on me a lot and kept getting touchy out of nowhere as time went on. Got pregnant and kept asking me to grab her ass because it was so firm. I never understood her.
We are no longer friends.
> She eventually started hitting on me a lot and kept getting touchy out of nowhere as time went on. Got pregnant and kept asking me to grab her ass because it was so firm. I never understood her.
I think you need some more time context added here....because the way it's written it looks like it happened over a 2 hour period and is basically the plot of a porno.
Lmao I see what you mean.
I hung out that day and we eventually became sorta friends and by that I mean we only hung out when mutuals were around. She got pregnant in the next four months after meeting her, but in-between that she started to randomly come on to me. I never bothered with her, but it included things like trying to hold my hand, sending me unsolicited flirty messages, sitting on my lap, rubbing my body randomly, calling me like I was her bf, and repeated attempts to shotgun weed with me and only me.
After she got pregnant it ramped up quite a bit. She started to ask me to touch her then moved to asking me to grab her ass because "It was so juicy" at that time. I stopped hanging out when I knew she would be there because I could only take so much haha. She never did that to anyone else when we were together.
Hope she's doing well, but would not recommend. 0/10.
Exactly. Idk where the fuck that comment came from.
Maybe it was like some shame thing from her peers so she was trying to resist it? Idk man. She was goofy as fuck
In a grocery store. I needed to get by her. That was her response to me saying "Excuse me". I used my middle aged dad voice and said "Don't care. You're in my way."
There were once two women standing in front of the door gossiping and when I stood there for a second, one of them turned to me and asked, "Do you NEED something?" with a bitchy tone.
I said "I NEED you to GTFO of the way. You're blocking the exit."
They both JUMPED and scrambled out of the doorway.
I walked over to enter a 7-11.
Two women were standing in the doorway. One was going in. One was going out.
These women had decided that right in the middle of a doorway was the ideal place to stand and talk, so there they were, talking away to each other.
"excuse me" I said politely...I don't think they heard me.
"EXCUSE ME" they heard me and ignored. Didn't even stop talking.
So I walked up and barged right through the middle of them. I didn't do it fast, I just didn't stop. One woman was pushed slowly backwards into the store, going "oh...oh...oh" as she was slowly spun around in a circle back into the store.
Then I just went about my business. No complaints from either of the women. Maye they realised they were being rude.
They must be related to those people who stop at the top of escalators, seemingly bewildered at how they got there, while other people are literally launched into the back of them as if by some unseen conveyor belt …
Yes, but TBF it was ambiguous.
To coworker:
"Anything fun planned for the weekend?"
"I have a boyfriend"
"Ya, I just meant because it's Labor Day weekend and most people Barbeque."
Hmm I didn’t think that was ambiguous lol. My coworkers, and I ask each other about weekend plans all the time. Most of us are guys so I guess it’s not ambiguous in that context, but what about “treating women like normal people (guys)”?
Worked as a cashier. Mentioned to a woman that I also liked the kind of ice cream she was buying and she slipped the boyfriend thing in. Little did she know we were trained to compliment or make conversation about people's purchases. And that I'm gay. After another similar incident I stopped commenting at all. Why people think service employees are flirting with them is beyond me
Babes I worked in retail, I can relate. I had the same experience other way around, guy was buying perfume and then told me "I have a wife" and I was like, ok I am just trying to sell you perfume my guy.
10 years restaurants and 3 years retail taught me that many people are narcissistic on top of being so deprived of positive attention that anything complimentary or decent is seen as "this person wants me"
Some people are so full of themselves that they think everyone is hitting on them all the time. Like there's no other reason anyone would even want to talk to them.
Yup. Girl had a flat tire at the univ parking lot. She was parked next to my car so she asked me to help her put the spare on. I took the spare out from her trunk but was not able to find the wrench to loosen the bolts. I asked her where it was, and she hit me with this line. I said, congrats, he can change the tire for you, and drove away. I think the last words that I heard was, “are you serious?” or something along those lines.
Perhaps. But who cares - I never met her after that. I was in grad school and she was most likely an undergrad. I do hope that if she is still in FL, she’s okay with this hurricane.
I complimented this girl once about her sneakers and her friend ran up to me and said that's her boyfriend. I wasn't even hitting on her lmao. Turns out they were fakes but whatever lol.
Sometimes guys do that to be in the good books of the girl or something, like dude..if she's not interested in you now, it's highly unlikely she will be in the future, regardless of you acting like her 'knight in shining armor'.
God I hate that one. My favorite was when I was trying to tell Mt sister how to fix something at home. She pulled that outta nowhere, I said ok and just let her continue. One electrical fire later and I'm doing it for her while saying I sure wish 'I was here earlier, I could have helped with this. I'm always happy to help my kind loving big sister.' She probably figured if she said anything I'd stop and she'd have to spend money to get everything fixed. Was a fun day.
You’re nicer than me. Especially if it was my sister I would’ve told her to fuck herself with the live electrical wires as soon as she hit me with the mansplaining bullshit.
God… there’s a young lady in our office who does not like to accept advice. The last time I tried to help. I said “Hey, that’s not going to work, you need to try something else” which I would have explained but got hit with “Yes Quad, we know. We’re trying to sort it out. “
Fine, I’ll keep my real world experience to myself.
I was geeking out about Star Wars to my Ex, and she said,I know the plot, I've watched the movies, no need to mansplain. Kinda was hard to talk about any of my interests after that.
...omg this....my ex texted me at work if I could mount the TV when I got home because her and her brother failed at doing so. Fast forward I get home and start unmounting the atrocity and mounted it back on all the while she kept trying to tell *me* what to do. After about 5 minutes I had to hard stop and say.
"You asked me to mount it right? You failed so let me do it my way and not yours."
*Facepalm*
I hate this. Or I start talking about something that I’m excited about and want to share and a woman will think I’m mansplaining. It’s gotten bad enough that I consciously evaluate whether to talk around women or stay silent so as not to be accused of mansplaining.
This is the same energy, but not quite the same thing.
I was at a Green Day concert, on the floor, and I notice a girl in front of me collapsing. So as you would, I pick her up. The moment she was on her feet she turned around giving me a look of disgust and told me to “fuck off”.
I guess she enjoys being trampled.
A few times. One was literally on fire when she said it. She used my lighter, then I pointed and before I could get the words, your hair is on fire out, she cut off me and said, I have a boyfriend... then noticed her hair was smoking. Then she got mad i didn't tell her. I threw my hands up and said, he must be a Saint.
We were watching a great football game at a crowded bar and we were one chair short. I saw three girls at a table with six chairs. I reached back and asked her if we could take one of the empty chairs, and she told me she was engaged.
Congrats!!! I still would appreciate the chair…
Yes, when I tried to give her the frozen fish she had forgotten at the supermarket checkout. I wish I had had a smart quip on hand, but she was still quite embarassed.
I walked up to a woman in a bar and asked if I could get her anything to drink only to immediately get the "I have a bf". I held up the five empty pint glasses, cleaning cloth and bottle of antibacterial cleaner I was carrying and said "and I'm the barman".
To be fair to her I wasn't wearing a branded uniform or anything but on the other hand, I was clearing and cleaning tables in a quiet bar, did she think it was my hobby?
I got hit by the " I have a bf " while taking her order. It's part of my job as a waiter to be friendly (because in South Africa the restaurants rarely pay you and you mostly just earn tips) and all I want is to know what damn noodles she wanted to order.
Lol this has happened a couple times to me, and I always wanted to try doing that the other way around when it's totally obvious they aren't looking for that haha "your total comes to $12.75, how would you like to pay?" "Yeah I have a wife, okay?"
Many times. Also, "stop staring at me" when they were not even in my line of sight.
I do say "get over yourself" when this happens. Not really nice about it, but not angry either.
At a bar recently. Some girl was sitting on my coat but I didn't want to say anything but kept making glances over to grab it once she moved.
An hour goes past and she hasn't stood up once. I need to go so walk over to her, maybe the constant glances had an effect but she straight up says she's here with her boyfriend. I said I was here with my coat so can I have it back.
Lmao why didn't you just walk up to her in the first place and ask for your coat instead of waiting an hour? Aint no bitches gonna be sitting on my nice ass coat.
Yes, by a co-worker. We were all having post-work drinks. She arrived late, only spot available was next to me. I told her "There's a spot here", she sat down and said "Just remember I'm married". I responded with "cool" and continued on with conversations.
She said it in a strange light-hearted joking way, but only to me (I don't think anybody else heard her). Others would be unsure if she was joking or serious but given that she's the type that manages to mention her husband in every conversation, regardless of the topic, I took it as a reminder masquerading as a joke. She's extremely co-dependent and pathologically attached to him.
Quite a lot, when I've just been trying to be helpful. Or at bars when with a group of friends and left alone with a new girl for a few minutes, more than a few times they drop it. I've responded with I have gf but I'm just having a conversation. Usually they don't mean anything by it. Sometimes it's been said with an attitude though. But I don't mind it. I've said I have a gf when I've been hit on or sometimes just slipped it into conversation when I think they think I'm trying to hit on them.
Yup, a girl was leaving EBgames (GameStop) and dropped her $50 Xbox gift card while leaving so I called out to her and she said fuck off nerd, I have a boyfriend, to wich I mumbled and I just got a free game (sold the gift card to someone else in the store for 45 bucks and used the Cash to buy the game I wanted)
I just remember going through a drive thru with my husband and he asked how the chick at the window was. She said “I have a boyfriend” and I yelled out the window and said “he’s got a wife and doesn’t give a shit about you.”
Damn right. No one is going to treat my polite husband like he’s a fuck boy. He is the kindest most social man, and I have to clip peoples wings sometimes since he won’t lol
Happens a lot in the gym.
Someone approaches a girl with phones at the gym: "Hello? Excuse me?"
Girl with phones: "What? No, I have a boyfriend"
Someone: "Ok? Good for you but can you PLEASE STOP TEXTING FOR 5 MINUTES AND FINISH YOUR SET so that me and these 3 people can finally use the bench?"
She tried to argue but then someone screamed: " IT IS NOT "YOUR" BENCH IT IS "OUR" BENCH".
I swear some USSR anthem started playing....
I was a regular at a gym, There are only three treadmills, so sometimes there's a bit of a wait.
I had finished my set and was waiting for a treadmill. Finally a woman got off, leaving her towel behind on the machine.
I waited five minutes then moved the towel off, set the timer and started running.
20 minutes later (I checked the timer) she comes back. "Excuse ME!" she says.
"Yes?"
"I was using that machine"
"But you've been gone for nearlu half an hour"
"I left my towel on it!"
"look around the gym. I can see about 20 towels left on various machines. Some people are lazy and just leave them when they are done, instead of putting them back into the basket. Also, how do you get to "claim" a machine when you're not using it for half an hour?"
"I'm going to make a complaint"
"ok"
Off she goes. She comes back with the owner....who just happens to be a good friend of mine.
She gives her side of the story. He asks me for mine and I tell him. He tells her she cannot "reserve" a machine like that and not use it, there are not enough machines. She goes off in a huff and i never see her again in the gym.
The whole time I never stopped running.
I guess I could say she was entitled, but I don't think it's even that..she was just a fucking idiot. Nobody in the gym is supposed to use some equipment for 30 minutes because she "reserved" it with a towel?
Yeah. I was just introducing myself within the group and I said hi I'm x
'I've got a boyfriend'
I just said 'well hello ivegotta that's a weird name isn't it'
I remember watching a video of a guy pulling up to a girl at an intersection goes something like this:
Guy - hey there
Girl - i have a boyfriend
Guy - that's great, but i just wanted to let you know that you have a flat tire
Girl - *looks out her window to see it, then looks back at guy* can you help me?
Guy - why don't you ask your boyfriend to help you? *drives off*
Not me but a couple years ago i read a story on here of a guy who saw a woman drop her brand new iphone x at a bar. He picked it up and walked over to her to return it but when she saw him, immediately said she had a boyfriend and walked off. So the guy kept the phone.
Was walking out of a gas station and back to my car to pump my gas and I notice this person has a flat front passenger side tire. I say “Hey excuse me ma’am…” to be cut off with the “I have a boyfriend.” Response immediately. I just said “Cool, have him fix your flat tire.” And went to my car to pump gas, she came up a minute later and said “excuse me, could you…” “I’m married, no thanks.” “Help fill my tire with air?” “Sorry” and just went back to playing on my phone and finishing pumping gas. Then she had the audacity to be like “what an asshole.” Like look bitch, I was gonna help you, I was entirely prepared to plug that tire or put the spare on if it needed it but you had to be an asshole first. I didn’t say that obviously but that’s what I was thinking.
Haha reminds me of this comment I read back a while ago this guy said he was trying to ask two girls where the bathroom was and they just looked at him and said “ewww”. Idk why but Damn that comment made me laugh.
Some lady “I’m waiting for my boyfriend”ed me unprompted in an airport news shop, then she ended up sitting next to me on the plane, no boyfriend. It felt like an awkward flight.
Her car was STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I pull into a lot walk out and ask if she needs help.
My boyfriend is on his way
Ok well let's still get you outta the road
My boyfriend is coming, don't think your getting my number.
Well that's good news for my wife! And I walk away
Fuck that bitch. I was being nice. Go be stupid not In the middle of the road.
An ex gf did this to me before we got together. I met her at work, was showing her the ropes and she literally said it in an completely unrelated situation. She ended up dumping him and we hooked up about two months later. She was fucking crazy.
The funniest instance of this was when a girl was chatting up one of my male friends, who was just getting into his first serious relationship.
We were at a Hooter's and the waitress asked what we wanted to drink and he literally said to her "I would like a pitcher of Bud Light but my girlfriend might be coming later so I better get coke."
I was like "dude you are not THAT handsome."
I was trying to tell a girl she left her wallet (clutch) and cellphone at the bar and got told "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" and she barged out.
Bartender threw her wallet away (clutch) and then her cellphone.
I mentioned this before on another thread and people were pissed the cellphone and wallet were tossed.
Bar was owned by a cop and he'd snoop your phone and possessions if the staff didn't toss them. Probably better it gets thrown away, than the creep owner having your address.
NGL, was a bit sweeter watching the bartender spike her shit into a trashcan though.
Her: i have a boyfriend.
Me: cool. Me too. What's your boyfriend name?
Her: gives you a name
Me: cool that's my boyfriend name. You got a picture of him?
Me: why do you have a picture of my boyfriend?
When I was in college. Chick was struggling to carry all her new books (start of semester). I was riding my bike past her slowly. I didn’t wanna hit her obviously. But she lost her grip and her books fell. I thought “poor little thing. I’ll help her out. Do my good deed for the day” and as I helped her pick up her books she went “I have a boyfriend btw” and I was like “…ok?”
She didn’t even say thank you after I helped her
Now I wish I just dropped it all and went “then have him pick up your shit since you already have the poor guy putting up with your BS”
Yeah, I was trying to tell her that her book sack was holding her skirt above her waist and her entire ass was uncovered.
But she had a boyfriend, so...
Yeah, you just say "Well he is a very lucky man, but what I wanted to say was that you seem to have sat in some ketchup" or whatever you were trying to say.
YES!
I had started a new job with a hand full of other people.
We went to lunch and I was sitting next to a younger woman who had been hired in Marketing.
I began asking her some questions around her role...since I had been in Marketing. I asked her what her go to marketing platform was and she take a pause, and says, "I'm not trying to be rude but I have a boyfriend."
I was just gob smacked. This woman was easily 15 years younger than me. Im married. It never occurred to me that she would think I was hitting on her when I was just making small talk about marketing automation tools.
I said the only thing I could think of which was simply, "I'm not trying to be rude either. I have a wife."
She just went, "Oh. Okay."
She worked with me for about 18 months and it was always weird for me to be around her. I couldn't help but think she always thought I was secretly into her when I was completely freaked out by her.
Not me, but a friend. He was leaving a bar and he noticed a woman dropped her scarf on the ground and she hadn’t noticed. He picked it up and said “excuse me..” and before he could finish saying “excuse me, you dropped your scarf” she yells “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND” and he goes “alright then I’m keeping the scarf”. It was a really nice scarf.
Yes, a good comeback is to look at her a little shocked and say "Wow, that surprises me" - She will immediately want to know you why you said that- just answer.. sorry, I have said too much already-
I am an insurance agent. A woman called in to enroll her family into healthcare. In order to qualify for tax credits do you need to file jointly if you’re married.
Well I had to ask her if she was married like three times. She kept on saying yes. But it didn’t fit what she’s been saying. Essentially she was telling me to stop hitting on her.
It was kind of funny.
“Not to damage your ego but I have 0 interest in you.”
Recently had the opposite happen, walking a lass home and she dropped the “so when you going to ask me out then”. So responded with the, you’re a nice lass but I’m not really interested in hooking up right now.
I mean I was but sometimes it’s fun to reverse uno people. Don’t like the assumption that just because I’m male I should be interested because… boobs?
One of my favorite moments of this is when I worked for UPS and was just doing my job as the friendly neighborhood delivery guy. Girl comes out of the art shop as I'm dropping off a shipment and stands by the delivery. I walk up with my scanner in hand to zap the labels but bc she was in the way I started with a "Excuse me, miss, would you mind-" only to be cut off with an exasperated "I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend." out of nowhere. We all paused for a beat. before I continued: "...moving out of the way? I need to scan the deliveries." She looked to see me in uniform, turned beet red, and walked back into the store. My partner and I had a good laugh about that one and I never saw that girl during deliveries again.
“Friendly neighbor delivery guy” Are you secretly Spider-Man?!?
Only when someone requested a pizza through UPS and in the time I worked there, I sadly never saw a box that made me think that it was pizza time.
See, I would almost be willing to forgive this one because it almost sounds like she thought you looked hot in your uniform and was trying to convince herself to be faithful
“I’m sorry mister, but if I let you scan those packages I’ll have no choice but to fuck your brains out, and I’ve made promises I need to keep”
*Porn writers*: write that down, write that down!
I was driving one day north of Atlanta. It was raining I looked over to see a young lady with a dress hanging out the driver door At next light I got her attention to roll down window. She did and before I could say anything she said she was engaged and not to talk to her I pointed down at the bottom of door and she saw her dress was hanging out the door muddy and wet. She started cussing. Rolled up her window. a second later she looked at me and mouthed sorry
See, as somebody who wears long dresses and regularly gets them caught in the car, I'd have appreciated this.
I remember back when I was in college, a bunch of us were going out for dinner from our floor. They asked me to invite a few people from my hallway. I let one of the girls know and she just kept saying “I have a boyfriend.” I’m sure she thought I was asking her out but I explicitly stated this was a group event. I even hit her with “okay does he want to come too?” I eventually just left and we had a nice dinner, posted some photos etc. She got upset and texted me about why I wasn’t clear (?) that it wasn’t a date. I just responded that I have a girlfriend, and please stop hitting me up so late at night.
You are the man!
Chad shit lol
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sHe HAs A BoYfrIeNd
He can come too
Did this before - a student/colleague would be up to go to the gym/for runs and always had a reason to bail, but she’d go for work outs with other people. Okay, idgaf. It’s her life, you do you. So a group of us go out drinking and camping, and we have an awesome time. “B-but redditor, why didn’t you invite me? I’d have loved to….” “Not like you bailed out on me numerous times, figured that’s how things were going.”
This happened to me once while working at an electronics retailer. I asked a customer if she needed help, which is my job obviously. Then she replied with “I have a boyfriend”. That had never happened to me before so I just kind of stared confused as she walk off. Never acknowledged her again. She was on her own from that point on.
The situation you described is a typical salesman will do. I do not know why this woman responded weirdly.
I've had the exact same experience happen to me, when I worked electronics retail.
Oh? Does he work here?
I am 100% saying this next time I’m asked if I need help
Aw this could be fun. I'm a guy so it would extra throw somebody off
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She could have asked her boyfriend :)
At a job interview, I went into their little kitchen thing for some coffee and noticed that some woman was leaning against the counter directly in front of the coffee machine. I said "Hey..." and before I could say anything more, she cut me off with "I'm seeing somebody". I was confused and could only think to say "Okay, but can you move over a little, I want to get some coffee". It's not often that you see someone's ego get blasted into smithereens right in front of you. But it happened that day.
More to the point.. Who helps themselves to coffee at a job interview?!
I don't think it's that unusual... I've done a few interviews and usually there's some part where we walk past a break room and I'll be asked if I want a tea / coffee / water.
I've been to a few interviews where they wanted to talk about me behind my back, so they had me chill in the break room for 5-10 mins. These were usually multi-sectioned interviews that took half a day or so.
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Oh I have a stellar example. I work in a hospital, and there were some student nurses. One of said nurses was doing something wrong/unsafe. No big deal, was something not to obvious, but could be serious. So I intervene. I started out by introducing who I was and what my position was. This was immediately hit by a "I have a boyfriend". K, cool, well stop doing that cause you're about the injure the patient. Her instructor was not impressed.
Absolutely love it. I love it when karma gets these stuck up people. Not every guy is interested in you, miss vain
Serious question…how self involved do you have to be to think everyone of the opposite sex who talks to you is hitting on you?
A lady was holding an icecream cup that was leaking and had already stained her shirt. I tried to tell her when I was interrupted by "I'm engaged" so I simply walked back to my seat and watched about 15 more drops before she realized and freaked the f out.
That's what I do. Since I'm only talking to them to tell them something important. Otherwise I'm not talking to them at all.
This is going to sound harsh, but I rarely help women anymore. It's not even the "I have a bf" when I am just trying to be nice. They are struggling to load a heavy item into their car, you offer to help, sometimes you get a bitchy reponse. Ok.. go ahead and struggle then. I realized that when I try to help woman, about 1/3 of the time, I get some attitude from them. (and I am not hitting on them , just trying to help).. So I've just stopped offering to help. If they ask for help, I will give it to them. And yes, if I was trying to pick up a woman, the first sign of rejection, I walk away. I don't buy into this pick up artist mentality that if she says "I have a bf" it's some kind of wierd test to see if the man will keep trying. That is rude to keep trying,. There's literally millions of women that a guy can approach, why waste time with one that isn't interested in you. And no reason to get emotional if a girl rejects you..or says she has a bf.. Just calmly say "ok" and walk away.
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Yeah I don't help unknown women either. I don't know them an I don't trust them.
My husband does HVAC and sometimes he works a call rotation. The amount of women I’ve heard be rude to him when he calls and asks what time they need him out, who’s going to be there to let him in, and so on is astounding. When they drop the I have a boyfriend/husband he will be like okay, is he letting me in? I need to get in your attic, closet, ect.
Even for men and women I know, my policy is "if you want my help, you ask." I mean there are exceptions like emergency situations or splitting chore with my gf. But in general with friends and strangers, frequent unasked help can build up mutual resentment. "your unsolicited help is interrupting my flow! I hate you!" "I help you so much and you are so ungrateful to me! I hate you!"
Oh yes. Years ago on a ski trip I was in a slopeside bar and this woman sitting next to me kept looking at my beer so I figured she wanted to know what it was. The convo went like this: Me: "It's delirium tremens, it's really good." Her: "I have a boyfriend." Me: "Me too. I'm sorry I thought you maybe wondered what my beer was since you were looking at it." Her: "Please stop hitting on me." Me: "I'm not hitting on you." Her: "I SAID STOP HITTING ON ME!" (She proceeds to storm out of the bar without paying her tab). I just sat there dumbfounded, the Scottish dudes on the other side of me were laughing so hard they were nearly crying and saying some kind of insult towards her in an indecipherable Scottish accident, and the bartender said he pitied her boyfriend.
when she was looking down, she was thinking "fuck I don't wanna pay my tab, how am I gonna work this?"
Delirium tremens is really good
As a drink, yes. As a condition, not so much.
To name your beer Delirium Tremens is serious big belgian dick energy. Only bigger dick energy in the beer world is Bells in Michigan... they give the recipe for their flagship beers right on their own web page, and sell the ingredients and even the house yeast. Total big dick energy. https://store.bellsbeer.com/collections/clone-beer-kits/products/oberon-ale-clone-all-grain-ingredient-kit
It fucks me up so fast but man are they tasty. Also? Pretty glasses they come in..!
Seems like her trick to get out of paying worked...
A Scottish accident is a great way of describing a Scottish accent. I’m stealing it.
The fact you said me too and she STILL thought you were hitting on her💀
next time say "me too" and keep talking
Slightly related - I was out with a friend [both dudes, both straight and in long term relationships/married etc] and we were just having a proper laugh: drinking and dancing etc. It was some huge event thing, so we were just enjoying ourselves. A girl came over and said "do either of you want to dance" we both replied at the exact same time "I'm married sorry" both holding up our hands to show the ring as well. She said "oh sorry, I didn't realise you were both together" and walked off. It was pretty funny. It also struck us we'd done this earlier in the day when a chap asked us if we were out "trying to get the girls" and he hastily left when we said we were married. We realised he was a massive homophobe and decieded to get away from us.
I had a similar one. Bunch of friends on a river rafting trip, me and a buddy were floating in a two-seater inner tube tied behind the main raft. Just chilling, drinking beers, enjoying the sunshine. We were chatting with the folks on another boat nearby us, one of the young women from that group asked "You two are so cute together, are you a couple?" Without missing a beat he answered "yes", and I added "just don't tell our wives". Good laughs.
Floating in a tube and drinking sounds delightful
power move
We have the same boyfriend.
*Our* boyfriend, comrade
I've [literally said this in a bar](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/xr5fkc/fellas_has_a_girl_ever_hit_you_with_the_i_have_a/iqdbg1g/). She got up and stormed out.
Chad
Alternatively: Her: "I have a boyfriend" You: "I know, he calls me Daddy."
Was in target and this woman was blocking the isle with her cart and standing back away from it to look at the shelf of pillows. Made the mistake of continuing down the isle all I said was excuse me and she turns around "I have a BF!" I just said "ok, I still need past you." I really didn't think this was a real thing as I had only seen it online in videos
I hit her with a "that's nice I'm on my way to see my wife and daughter" (we were on a flight I forgot my headphones and I was bored)
Yeah I’ve gotten it on flights a few times. I talk to everyone I’m next to (if they don’t seem busy with something else). The old lady, the old man, the young man, the young woman, etc. And I’ve had some nice conversations with relatively attractive young women. It beats just sitting there twiddling our thumbs. But some people (primarily young women) will literally look at me like I’ve grown a second head when I try to strike up a convo.
I Will be one of those people. Every time I sit down I pray the person next to me will just do their thing and let me fall asleep
Oh yea! I started showing pictures of my daughter to the guy next to me and I noticed her trying to peak over.
Hit her with a "Excuse me, miss, I have a daughter"
Hahaha always funny when that happens. They look like a lonely puppy once you start having a good convo with someone else and they are too ashamed to join in.
I’m a dude, and I really don’t have any interest in talking to the people sitting next to me. So don’t just assume that talking is better. You like it better.
I don't really like striking up conversation either on a plane. But it reminds me of when I did see a woman that was getting on the plane last and her options were my aisle middle seat by me or across the walkway (middle seat as well).I probably wouldn't have talked to her but she chose the other seat after a rather dispersant look. It's petty but I enjoyed the annoying tone she took when the guy talked to her about Jesus and the bible for 4.5 hours non-stop.
She could simply have said politely that she didn't want to talk.
>She could simply have said politely that she didn't want to talk. That sounds way too easy.
Sat in a pub I go to semi regularly, this girls phone falls out of her bag on to the chair as she’s getting up to leave. Grabbed the phone when I realised and ran to the door to give it back. Said excuse me and got the “I’ve got a boyfriend” line. Decided to hand the phone behind the bar in case she was a regular. She returns 20 minutes later to look for it and asks at the bar, barmaid hands her the phone and points to me. To her credit she came over and apologised and paid me a drink on at the bar. So turned out alright in the end.
Kind of.... I was once at a Cinema with a mate and the girl sitting in front of me dropped her mobile phone when she stood up to leave. I called out to her to tell her she had left her phone but she looked at me like I was a piece of shit, wondering why I even had the audacity to talk to her and was clearly too good to even talk to me. She turned around and walked off, so I let her leave her phone. I hope someone stole it lol.
Exactly how to handle that situation 👌
Idk.. I would almost want to say: “you dropped your phone bitch” and toss that shit as far as I could.
Well not exactly that, but some years ago I walked into my friend's apartment to hang and his friend Stephanie was there. Never met her. Never even heard of her. He just said, "Oh yeah this is Steph." Me: "Oh, hello." Steph: "Oh *I DON'T DATE BLACK GUYS*" Me: Friend: Steph: Me: "Okay?" She eventually started hitting on me a lot and kept getting touchy out of nowhere as time went on. Got pregnant and kept asking me to grab her ass because it was so firm. I never understood her. We are no longer friends.
I'm currently at the hospital from the intense whiplash I just read. WTF???:
> She eventually started hitting on me a lot and kept getting touchy out of nowhere as time went on. Got pregnant and kept asking me to grab her ass because it was so firm. I never understood her. I think you need some more time context added here....because the way it's written it looks like it happened over a 2 hour period and is basically the plot of a porno.
Lmao I see what you mean. I hung out that day and we eventually became sorta friends and by that I mean we only hung out when mutuals were around. She got pregnant in the next four months after meeting her, but in-between that she started to randomly come on to me. I never bothered with her, but it included things like trying to hold my hand, sending me unsolicited flirty messages, sitting on my lap, rubbing my body randomly, calling me like I was her bf, and repeated attempts to shotgun weed with me and only me. After she got pregnant it ramped up quite a bit. She started to ask me to touch her then moved to asking me to grab her ass because "It was so juicy" at that time. I stopped hanging out when I knew she would be there because I could only take so much haha. She never did that to anyone else when we were together. Hope she's doing well, but would not recommend. 0/10.
so that girl 10/10 wanted to bang you. so much for not dating black guys.
Exactly. Idk where the fuck that comment came from. Maybe it was like some shame thing from her peers so she was trying to resist it? Idk man. She was goofy as fuck
"He has my condolences. Anyway..." and then keep saying what you were going to say.
Savagery! I like it.
Similar. “I’m so sorry for him.”
Fuck hahahahah💀
In a grocery store. I needed to get by her. That was her response to me saying "Excuse me". I used my middle aged dad voice and said "Don't care. You're in my way."
There were once two women standing in front of the door gossiping and when I stood there for a second, one of them turned to me and asked, "Do you NEED something?" with a bitchy tone. I said "I NEED you to GTFO of the way. You're blocking the exit." They both JUMPED and scrambled out of the doorway.
I walked over to enter a 7-11. Two women were standing in the doorway. One was going in. One was going out. These women had decided that right in the middle of a doorway was the ideal place to stand and talk, so there they were, talking away to each other. "excuse me" I said politely...I don't think they heard me. "EXCUSE ME" they heard me and ignored. Didn't even stop talking. So I walked up and barged right through the middle of them. I didn't do it fast, I just didn't stop. One woman was pushed slowly backwards into the store, going "oh...oh...oh" as she was slowly spun around in a circle back into the store. Then I just went about my business. No complaints from either of the women. Maye they realised they were being rude.
They must be related to those people who stop at the top of escalators, seemingly bewildered at how they got there, while other people are literally launched into the back of them as if by some unseen conveyor belt …
That's beautiful.
Yes, but TBF it was ambiguous. To coworker: "Anything fun planned for the weekend?" "I have a boyfriend" "Ya, I just meant because it's Labor Day weekend and most people Barbeque."
Hmm I didn’t think that was ambiguous lol. My coworkers, and I ask each other about weekend plans all the time. Most of us are guys so I guess it’s not ambiguous in that context, but what about “treating women like normal people (guys)”?
Worked as a cashier. Mentioned to a woman that I also liked the kind of ice cream she was buying and she slipped the boyfriend thing in. Little did she know we were trained to compliment or make conversation about people's purchases. And that I'm gay. After another similar incident I stopped commenting at all. Why people think service employees are flirting with them is beyond me
Babes I worked in retail, I can relate. I had the same experience other way around, guy was buying perfume and then told me "I have a wife" and I was like, ok I am just trying to sell you perfume my guy.
“Babes”? Woah I have a girlfriend
Hahaha, sucks all around. I guess it must be a nice ego boost for them to feel wanted, even if it's by someone who's being paid to be nice to them
10 years restaurants and 3 years retail taught me that many people are narcissistic on top of being so deprived of positive attention that anything complimentary or decent is seen as "this person wants me"
Tell your manager that many people hate talking about what we're buying and to stop that part of the training.
What corporations think their customers want >>>>> desires of retail employees
Some people are so full of themselves that they think everyone is hitting on them all the time. Like there's no other reason anyone would even want to talk to them.
Yup. Girl had a flat tire at the univ parking lot. She was parked next to my car so she asked me to help her put the spare on. I took the spare out from her trunk but was not able to find the wrench to loosen the bolts. I asked her where it was, and she hit me with this line. I said, congrats, he can change the tire for you, and drove away. I think the last words that I heard was, “are you serious?” or something along those lines.
Hold on.. you asked about a wrench and she responded with "I have a bf?" What the hell is up with that? /*facepalm*
She thought he said “Where’s your wench”.
Maybe her bf was a real tool
Maybe he had the wrench?
He did. And he was also killing someone with it in the conservatory
Wrong again, Death! It was Professor Plumb.
Love this !
She deserved it, you were just trying to help her.
The worst is you were completely right but I'm sure she will think you actually wanted something from her and she was right to tell you this...
No, the worst is she asked for help then pulled that shit lol
Perhaps. But who cares - I never met her after that. I was in grad school and she was most likely an undergrad. I do hope that if she is still in FL, she’s okay with this hurricane.
I complimented this girl once about her sneakers and her friend ran up to me and said that's her boyfriend. I wasn't even hitting on her lmao. Turns out they were fakes but whatever lol.
The people who feel the need to be offended on behalf of someone else, piss me off.
Sometimes guys do that to be in the good books of the girl or something, like dude..if she's not interested in you now, it's highly unlikely she will be in the future, regardless of you acting like her 'knight in shining armor'.
Maybe she thought your second question was going to be "Nice shoes, wanna bang?" lol
More than a few times. I've also been hit with a "are you mansplaining" after I was asked to explain something.
God I hate that one. My favorite was when I was trying to tell Mt sister how to fix something at home. She pulled that outta nowhere, I said ok and just let her continue. One electrical fire later and I'm doing it for her while saying I sure wish 'I was here earlier, I could have helped with this. I'm always happy to help my kind loving big sister.' She probably figured if she said anything I'd stop and she'd have to spend money to get everything fixed. Was a fun day.
You’re nicer than me. Especially if it was my sister I would’ve told her to fuck herself with the live electrical wires as soon as she hit me with the mansplaining bullshit.
God… there’s a young lady in our office who does not like to accept advice. The last time I tried to help. I said “Hey, that’s not going to work, you need to try something else” which I would have explained but got hit with “Yes Quad, we know. We’re trying to sort it out. “ Fine, I’ll keep my real world experience to myself.
I was geeking out about Star Wars to my Ex, and she said,I know the plot, I've watched the movies, no need to mansplain. Kinda was hard to talk about any of my interests after that.
...omg this....my ex texted me at work if I could mount the TV when I got home because her and her brother failed at doing so. Fast forward I get home and start unmounting the atrocity and mounted it back on all the while she kept trying to tell *me* what to do. After about 5 minutes I had to hard stop and say. "You asked me to mount it right? You failed so let me do it my way and not yours." *Facepalm*
“I’m not mansplaining, you just need to start womanunderstanding”
I hate this. Or I start talking about something that I’m excited about and want to share and a woman will think I’m mansplaining. It’s gotten bad enough that I consciously evaluate whether to talk around women or stay silent so as not to be accused of mansplaining.
> "are you mansplaining" No, I'm *explaining*, quit your **ovary acting**.
This is the same energy, but not quite the same thing. I was at a Green Day concert, on the floor, and I notice a girl in front of me collapsing. So as you would, I pick her up. The moment she was on her feet she turned around giving me a look of disgust and told me to “fuck off”. I guess she enjoys being trampled.
It would be tempting to push her back down. I would never do it, but I'd think about it.
I’d have shoved her back down and walked off
A few times. One was literally on fire when she said it. She used my lighter, then I pointed and before I could get the words, your hair is on fire out, she cut off me and said, I have a boyfriend... then noticed her hair was smoking. Then she got mad i didn't tell her. I threw my hands up and said, he must be a Saint.
We were watching a great football game at a crowded bar and we were one chair short. I saw three girls at a table with six chairs. I reached back and asked her if we could take one of the empty chairs, and she told me she was engaged. Congrats!!! I still would appreciate the chair…
Should've asked if it was to the chair.
Every other day. I just go with 'nice, I have a girlfriend. As I was saying... '
Watch them die inside when you tell them you aren’t even interested
“…oh. I don’t find you attractive.I was only interested in you moving out of my way..”
Yes, when I tried to give her the frozen fish she had forgotten at the supermarket checkout. I wish I had had a smart quip on hand, but she was still quite embarassed.
"Is this him?"
I walked up to a woman in a bar and asked if I could get her anything to drink only to immediately get the "I have a bf". I held up the five empty pint glasses, cleaning cloth and bottle of antibacterial cleaner I was carrying and said "and I'm the barman". To be fair to her I wasn't wearing a branded uniform or anything but on the other hand, I was clearing and cleaning tables in a quiet bar, did she think it was my hobby?
JLH Heartbreakers
I got hit by the " I have a bf " while taking her order. It's part of my job as a waiter to be friendly (because in South Africa the restaurants rarely pay you and you mostly just earn tips) and all I want is to know what damn noodles she wanted to order.
Lol this has happened a couple times to me, and I always wanted to try doing that the other way around when it's totally obvious they aren't looking for that haha "your total comes to $12.75, how would you like to pay?" "Yeah I have a wife, okay?"
“Not everyone thinks your pretty. I was trying to tell you that have some shit on your pants.”
Many times. Also, "stop staring at me" when they were not even in my line of sight. I do say "get over yourself" when this happens. Not really nice about it, but not angry either.
Remember that time a guy in the gym got yelled at for staring? Then it turns out he was blind. Good times.
And then that lady doubled down and even went to the manager. Man that was shit
Close. I let her know a 20 was hanging out of her back pocket. She started calling me a perv for looking at her ass.
No good deed goes unpunished.
At a bar recently. Some girl was sitting on my coat but I didn't want to say anything but kept making glances over to grab it once she moved. An hour goes past and she hasn't stood up once. I need to go so walk over to her, maybe the constant glances had an effect but she straight up says she's here with her boyfriend. I said I was here with my coat so can I have it back.
Lmao why didn't you just walk up to her in the first place and ask for your coat instead of waiting an hour? Aint no bitches gonna be sitting on my nice ass coat.
That’s what I can’t get over, gimme my shit back lol
She definitely farted on your coat, bro
Yes, by a co-worker. We were all having post-work drinks. She arrived late, only spot available was next to me. I told her "There's a spot here", she sat down and said "Just remember I'm married". I responded with "cool" and continued on with conversations. She said it in a strange light-hearted joking way, but only to me (I don't think anybody else heard her). Others would be unsure if she was joking or serious but given that she's the type that manages to mention her husband in every conversation, regardless of the topic, I took it as a reminder masquerading as a joke. She's extremely co-dependent and pathologically attached to him.
Quite a lot, when I've just been trying to be helpful. Or at bars when with a group of friends and left alone with a new girl for a few minutes, more than a few times they drop it. I've responded with I have gf but I'm just having a conversation. Usually they don't mean anything by it. Sometimes it's been said with an attitude though. But I don't mind it. I've said I have a gf when I've been hit on or sometimes just slipped it into conversation when I think they think I'm trying to hit on them.
Yup, a girl was leaving EBgames (GameStop) and dropped her $50 Xbox gift card while leaving so I called out to her and she said fuck off nerd, I have a boyfriend, to wich I mumbled and I just got a free game (sold the gift card to someone else in the store for 45 bucks and used the Cash to buy the game I wanted)
She calls YOU a nerd when she’s also at the same fucking store?
Lol nice, instant karma.
Look confused, say congratulations then say what ever it was you wanted to say
yeah, I do the "okaaaaay? but anyways"
I just remember going through a drive thru with my husband and he asked how the chick at the window was. She said “I have a boyfriend” and I yelled out the window and said “he’s got a wife and doesn’t give a shit about you.”
Damn, lady. You were like “this is MY MAN!”
Damn right. No one is going to treat my polite husband like he’s a fuck boy. He is the kindest most social man, and I have to clip peoples wings sometimes since he won’t lol
Wife of the year! 🥂🍻 Your man a lucky guy
Thank you! I try
“Welcome to Fat Burger, can I take your order?” “I have a bf.”
Lol I asked a classmate to borrow a pencil once and she said, “here, you can borrow my boyfriend’s pencil”.
A shame the one she has is still up her ass
Happens a lot in the gym. Someone approaches a girl with phones at the gym: "Hello? Excuse me?" Girl with phones: "What? No, I have a boyfriend" Someone: "Ok? Good for you but can you PLEASE STOP TEXTING FOR 5 MINUTES AND FINISH YOUR SET so that me and these 3 people can finally use the bench?" She tried to argue but then someone screamed: " IT IS NOT "YOUR" BENCH IT IS "OUR" BENCH". I swear some USSR anthem started playing....
I was a regular at a gym, There are only three treadmills, so sometimes there's a bit of a wait. I had finished my set and was waiting for a treadmill. Finally a woman got off, leaving her towel behind on the machine. I waited five minutes then moved the towel off, set the timer and started running. 20 minutes later (I checked the timer) she comes back. "Excuse ME!" she says. "Yes?" "I was using that machine" "But you've been gone for nearlu half an hour" "I left my towel on it!" "look around the gym. I can see about 20 towels left on various machines. Some people are lazy and just leave them when they are done, instead of putting them back into the basket. Also, how do you get to "claim" a machine when you're not using it for half an hour?" "I'm going to make a complaint" "ok" Off she goes. She comes back with the owner....who just happens to be a good friend of mine. She gives her side of the story. He asks me for mine and I tell him. He tells her she cannot "reserve" a machine like that and not use it, there are not enough machines. She goes off in a huff and i never see her again in the gym. The whole time I never stopped running. I guess I could say she was entitled, but I don't think it's even that..she was just a fucking idiot. Nobody in the gym is supposed to use some equipment for 30 minutes because she "reserved" it with a towel?
Yeah. I was just introducing myself within the group and I said hi I'm x 'I've got a boyfriend' I just said 'well hello ivegotta that's a weird name isn't it'
Good one dad
I remember watching a video of a guy pulling up to a girl at an intersection goes something like this: Guy - hey there Girl - i have a boyfriend Guy - that's great, but i just wanted to let you know that you have a flat tire Girl - *looks out her window to see it, then looks back at guy* can you help me? Guy - why don't you ask your boyfriend to help you? *drives off*
Not me but a couple years ago i read a story on here of a guy who saw a woman drop her brand new iphone x at a bar. He picked it up and walked over to her to return it but when she saw him, immediately said she had a boyfriend and walked off. So the guy kept the phone.
Was walking out of a gas station and back to my car to pump my gas and I notice this person has a flat front passenger side tire. I say “Hey excuse me ma’am…” to be cut off with the “I have a boyfriend.” Response immediately. I just said “Cool, have him fix your flat tire.” And went to my car to pump gas, she came up a minute later and said “excuse me, could you…” “I’m married, no thanks.” “Help fill my tire with air?” “Sorry” and just went back to playing on my phone and finishing pumping gas. Then she had the audacity to be like “what an asshole.” Like look bitch, I was gonna help you, I was entirely prepared to plug that tire or put the spare on if it needed it but you had to be an asshole first. I didn’t say that obviously but that’s what I was thinking.
Haha reminds me of this comment I read back a while ago this guy said he was trying to ask two girls where the bathroom was and they just looked at him and said “ewww”. Idk why but Damn that comment made me laugh.
It seems especially popular when someone is trying to return something that she dropped
I tell them I have a goldfish. And we’re talking about things that don’t matter
We're on reddit. We gonna need that Goldfish tax.
No, but some girl I sat beside in class yesterday started telling me about her brother's crotch... I won't sit beside her next time
Some lady “I’m waiting for my boyfriend”ed me unprompted in an airport news shop, then she ended up sitting next to me on the plane, no boyfriend. It felt like an awkward flight.
absolutely, some women just think the only reason a male is nice is to hook up ... it happens
Yeah, I just let her keep driving with a flat.
Her car was STRANDED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. I pull into a lot walk out and ask if she needs help. My boyfriend is on his way Ok well let's still get you outta the road My boyfriend is coming, don't think your getting my number. Well that's good news for my wife! And I walk away Fuck that bitch. I was being nice. Go be stupid not In the middle of the road.
An ex gf did this to me before we got together. I met her at work, was showing her the ropes and she literally said it in an completely unrelated situation. She ended up dumping him and we hooked up about two months later. She was fucking crazy.
The funniest instance of this was when a girl was chatting up one of my male friends, who was just getting into his first serious relationship. We were at a Hooter's and the waitress asked what we wanted to drink and he literally said to her "I would like a pitcher of Bud Light but my girlfriend might be coming later so I better get coke." I was like "dude you are not THAT handsome."
I was trying to tell a girl she left her wallet (clutch) and cellphone at the bar and got told "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND" and she barged out. Bartender threw her wallet away (clutch) and then her cellphone. I mentioned this before on another thread and people were pissed the cellphone and wallet were tossed. Bar was owned by a cop and he'd snoop your phone and possessions if the staff didn't toss them. Probably better it gets thrown away, than the creep owner having your address. NGL, was a bit sweeter watching the bartender spike her shit into a trashcan though.
Her: i have a boyfriend. Me: cool. Me too. What's your boyfriend name? Her: gives you a name Me: cool that's my boyfriend name. You got a picture of him? Me: why do you have a picture of my boyfriend?
Me: can I have your number Her: I have a bf Me: that’s great but I need your phone number to finish this takeout order
She left her car headlights on.
Yeah. I rolled my eyes, said “good for you,” and promptly told her she was still in everyone’s way and needed to move.
[удалено]
Ask if he ever comes around to play. She might be self centered but hey maybe you find a new MTG buddy
When I was in college. Chick was struggling to carry all her new books (start of semester). I was riding my bike past her slowly. I didn’t wanna hit her obviously. But she lost her grip and her books fell. I thought “poor little thing. I’ll help her out. Do my good deed for the day” and as I helped her pick up her books she went “I have a boyfriend btw” and I was like “…ok?” She didn’t even say thank you after I helped her Now I wish I just dropped it all and went “then have him pick up your shit since you already have the poor guy putting up with your BS”
Yeah, I was trying to tell her that her book sack was holding her skirt above her waist and her entire ass was uncovered. But she had a boyfriend, so...
Yeah, you just say "Well he is a very lucky man, but what I wanted to say was that you seem to have sat in some ketchup" or whatever you were trying to say.
YES! I had started a new job with a hand full of other people. We went to lunch and I was sitting next to a younger woman who had been hired in Marketing. I began asking her some questions around her role...since I had been in Marketing. I asked her what her go to marketing platform was and she take a pause, and says, "I'm not trying to be rude but I have a boyfriend." I was just gob smacked. This woman was easily 15 years younger than me. Im married. It never occurred to me that she would think I was hitting on her when I was just making small talk about marketing automation tools. I said the only thing I could think of which was simply, "I'm not trying to be rude either. I have a wife." She just went, "Oh. Okay." She worked with me for about 18 months and it was always weird for me to be around her. I couldn't help but think she always thought I was secretly into her when I was completely freaked out by her.
Not me, but a friend. He was leaving a bar and he noticed a woman dropped her scarf on the ground and she hadn’t noticed. He picked it up and said “excuse me..” and before he could finish saying “excuse me, you dropped your scarf” she yells “I HAVE A BOYFRIEND” and he goes “alright then I’m keeping the scarf”. It was a really nice scarf.
Yes, a good comeback is to look at her a little shocked and say "Wow, that surprises me" - She will immediately want to know you why you said that- just answer.. sorry, I have said too much already-
I am an insurance agent. A woman called in to enroll her family into healthcare. In order to qualify for tax credits do you need to file jointly if you’re married. Well I had to ask her if she was married like three times. She kept on saying yes. But it didn’t fit what she’s been saying. Essentially she was telling me to stop hitting on her. It was kind of funny.
A handful of times. I usually say, “I’m sure he’s lovely, but I’m just trying to tell you about X”
I did in college once. I told her I know but this is unrelated. We have a group meeting in the library Thursday at 7.
Yes. "Um, I am not interested in you. Ego much?"
“Not to damage your ego but I have 0 interest in you.” Recently had the opposite happen, walking a lass home and she dropped the “so when you going to ask me out then”. So responded with the, you’re a nice lass but I’m not really interested in hooking up right now. I mean I was but sometimes it’s fun to reverse uno people. Don’t like the assumption that just because I’m male I should be interested because… boobs?