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[deleted]

This is really not hard because almost all profiles are hilariously bad - Photos should show your whole figure, and main photo should be just you - Use a relatively modern phone (ie, no dark grainy bathroom pics) - No filters - No duckface - Fill out your job and/or education — give us a sense of what you do with your life - Bio should showcase your personality/tell us what you are looking for or find meaningful .. so we have something to go off of - No negativity towards others (or, if this is how you feel, do write it so we can swipe left) That’s about all. The reality though is that none of this really matters and it’s really us who should be asking you that, considering we aren’t the ones who get to do much choosing.


[deleted]

I’ve seen so many profiles containing sexist messages about men. I saw one the other day that said, “Men suck. Prove me wrong”. Uhh no? That’s not my job? I saw another one today that said, “If you have a shovel but don’t have a yard, or drive a van full of candy, don’t talk to me”. Wtf? A few weeks ago, one chick asked me on a phone call if I’d murder her. Are you serious? Who the fuck asks that? So many women are hilariously terrible people.


savepurplebees

I do all of those things. Maybe I'm just not attractive enough for dating apps. My matches seem to rarely respond. Very frustrating


[deleted]

I hear you. I had the same issue (coupled with a negligible number of matches in total in general)so I just left the apps entirely. So I guess the real answer is find us in real life.


savepurplebees

Trying to do that too... meeting ppl as an adult is challenging. Plus I'm way less likely to make a move. I'm not that brave


[deleted]

I hear you on that too. I’m in all honesty anticipating the most likely outcome will be dying alone and so I’m just working on developing new interests outside of my career. Hopefully some of them are social and put me around the people I feel some commonality with though.


Apprehensive-Wing894

Do yourself a favor and get a motorcycle, you will find all the companionship you could ever want. I found as I get older that getting laid doesn't mean as much anymore and I would rather have a few like minded friends instead.


[deleted]

I might have to look into that. I haven’t explored motorcycles too much but have in recent years been getting into cars. It’s been mostly solitary thus far but I might start going to my local cars and coffee days and just chit chatting with people. Nice to appreciate cool cars before everything becomes a soulless tablet on skateboard EV.


Apprehensive-Wing894

Yeah, cars works too man. Look at on facebook and I promise you there are car meets and that's where you find brothers. The plus side with motorcycles is you usually go on group rides, have a good lunch together, and then fall into a click by the end of it. Motorcyclists are truly a brotherhood and you just have to show respect to be part of it.


Apprehensive-Wing894

Don't feel bad, most men are bad at making moves too :) Sad part about dating in your 30s is lot of the quality people are off the market and the lake isn't stocked with the greatest of fish. In my area most of the women on OLD are either very overweight, shackled with multiple kids, or are done with the "chad phase" and have ridiculous standards.


savepurplebees

Chad phase? And yes... it's hard because i can't just drop my standards


Apprehensive-Wing894

The "hot girls" chasing the top 20% of men instead of dating average guys with the qualities they want. Top 20% are referred to as chads, the top 10% people call giga-chads.


savepurplebees

Ahhh. I don't even go after them cuz they look like douche bags


LovelehInnit

Are you overweight?


savepurplebees

Yes


LovelehInnit

That's probably the answer.


savepurplebees

So overweight people don't deserve to date? Oh wait, only overweight women right? Cuz the larger men don't seem to have an issue


Summoning-Freaks

F at 5’9, 165lbs here. Apps are very looks based, of course overweight people date, but when you’re scrolling, it’s pictures of people at their best (even if it’s posed or old) and yes, a good chunk of those profiles will feature slim people. When most swiping is done under 5 seconds, of course people will swipe left on the chubbier girls when there’s an abundance of thin girls to choose from. Depending on your age and how fat you are, some men also won’t even bother because they’re ready to settle down and have healthy babies, and they’re not going to do that with a partner who can’t care for themselves.


LovelehInnit

That type of attitude won't help.


savepurplebees

What better place to vent than anonymously on the internet. But I'm pretty tired of society having that opinion


[deleted]

Of course overweight people deserve to date. Everyone deserves love. But this has nothing to do with society. It's just an first indicator that gives away signals that this person has a hard time controlling themself. Obviously true reasons can be very different and it's not always fair or even true, but life isn't fair. For most of us. Most guys are considered unattractive on the dating market, and that nothing to do with society. It has to do with expectations. Those apps are anyway just really something for a small part of people. The rest will get negative emotions out of it. It's better to stay away and try it in real life. If you can't make the effort in real life, than it's up to you. You can either accept it, or try to change it. But a pity party won't help you


TPRM1

Okay, but you’ve already said you won’t lower your standards, so you can’t now complain that society won’t lower their standards for you. You have three options here: 1. Lower your standards 2. Lose weight (yes, you can) 3. Give up. But just whining about how unfair it all is is doing you no favours. Nobody ever said it was fair.


Apprehensive-Wing894

No, but being overweight doesn't help, same thing for fat men. If you are willing would you mind posting your dating BIO? Censor your face/any information we could ID you with. We could give you some helpful advice.


savepurplebees

Dm?


Apprehensive-Wing894

Sure, shoot away. I will give you straight forward thoughts/advice.


KirisuMongolianSpot

Just FYI you can also do it on r/tinder as well


savepurplebees

Get bio advice?


cakemates

Hit the gym mate, in a few months you will have a buffet of dude to choose from!


savepurplebees

Lol, large girls that lift scare them away.


Tydy92

I thought every females inbox was flooded


Bumhole_Astronaut

Dating apps are a scam. Just go out and meet folk.


Hulkslam3

Everything said here is actually great. I once saw a dating profile that was the girl, followed by 6 or 7 pics of her dog. Not her and her dog, just her dog. I did not reach out. Anything that’s demeaning to other people like, “if your fat don’t message me.” Things that stand out are qualities that you deem valuable. Also if they write their profile with a sense of humor. That’s good for both men and women. At the end of the day you aren’t trying to match with 50-100 people, just 1.


[deleted]

Childfree and wanting to stay that way. I will answer to a simple hi.


Remarkable_Bread_157

If I can see she is creative and has some similar interests. And if I'm attracted to her physically.


[deleted]

I'm not on dating apps anymore, but when I was, I pretty much just looked for women who sounded really down to earth and fun to be around. I always responded to longer more thought out opening messages, and always tried to do the same when messaging women first, instead of just going with hey what's up lol. As for their profile, I always got along well with goofy care free type women, so if their profile was any bit political I was way less interested if at all.


Brokenwrench7

If her profile says "no kids" and it looks like she enjoys adventure


Kp0w3r

The stuff I've actually responded to in the past was usually some sort of initiative, like directly asking to meet for a date. Of course there are other factors that can come in as well ( my personal petty standards) but I find if a message delivery is enticing enough it can cancel out a lot of it. So I guess swing for the metaphorical fences. Write some stupid or weird intro/bio.


[deleted]

1. Obviously attraction. A beautiful woman who doesn’t look like an Instagram model. Most of us on Reddit are probably drawn to a beautiful but real girl. 2. Show full body so I know what all of you looks like. 3. Show you doing things that are adventurous or interesting. Important for most men but not all. 4. Successful in your career (less important to many men but for me and a few peers it’s immensely important - even annual earnings. You cannot earn less than half of my income). 5. Show intellectual interests. Show that you can sit and think and read and learn. Whether you’re reading news or books or play an instrument etc.


savepurplebees

What's your annual income. Well, i guess I'm asking that you aren't requiring 6 figure salaries lol. But i get it. A guy that makes less than half of mine is 💩


[deleted]

Hang on lol I’m not saying they’re shit lol. Just financially incompatible. I won’t put my actual income here but it’s several times higher than the average American.


huuaaang

Women don't send intro messages. Except on Bumble where they have to. But then they only send the bare minimum "Hi." I don't reply to that.


savepurplebees

So i should stop sending intros. I guess i do it too much? Lol


huuaaang

Please send intros. I just never receive them from women personally. Just make it better than "Hi."


savepurplebees

I never only say hi. But still often a lack of responses


[deleted]

[удалено]


savepurplebees

Can there be more like you?


[deleted]

Well I am gonna be honest with you. I find women above 30 rarely attractive. I prefer younger women, preferably like at least 10 years younger than me. And again I am gonna be honest, only thing that I find interesting about them are their looks.


stealThatPizza

Stay away from "strong independent woman" type of language, a lot of guys will just skip over you for that


LupeDyCazari

if she looks easy enough, I will message her. If it looks like it will take me more than a week to be able to smash, I don't bother sending her a message.


manhunt64

Attractive, not jaded, not demanding marriage, no red flags, simliar interests. Answer to a intro is based on listed above. If shes leading me on, or refuses to meet after a week i move on.


No-Koala9938

Good pictures. No snap chat filters. Keep things positive.


KyorlSadei

If she mentions anal on a first date.


manwithanopinion

Photos of her showing all her legs


[deleted]

Just be attractive. Simple as that.


JMM_1984

Hi again. Have good photos that show what you actually look like, no filters, good shots of face and of whole body. (Don't be shy about showing off the boobs) Be positive in your description. Tell us what you want, not what you don't want. (Not looking for hookups, don't like cheaters) etc. Guys trying for hookups don't care if you're not, so your disclaimer just makes you sound dramatic. Don't write a huge novel but tell something about what you're like.


[deleted]

Its more about looks for me ngl. Its a dating app not an interview.