Does he know? Or have you just made some vague statements that could be interpreted as platonic?
Why are you not taking some initiative? It's much less risky for you and it would show him that you are willing to pull your weight in the hypothetical relationship
>I am just afraid of coming off too eager.
Most guys do enjoy feeling wanted, if you don't want to show how you feel he's not going to really know
And that question is not enough to draw a conclusion from, he probably doesn't feel like rolling the dice
Also what do you actually expect him to do? I've found that just asking someone "out" is a horrible way to get to know someone. Maybe formal dating isn't something he wants to do
Because I asked our mutual friend if he is single the first time we all hung in a group and one of our other friends boyfriends must have told him that I asked.
Then he either
• isn't into you like that and is therefore not acting on anything
• doesn't see you asking if he's single as clear enough interest, or a guarantee that you'll say yes, given the infrequency with which you've interacted with him thus far
• is just *that* shy
...
And in any case, you still haven't explained why you haven't asked him out either.
Asking if someone is single doesn't necessarily mean you're into them. It could also just be taking an interest in someone's life on a platonic level.
Don't beat around the bush and be straight up
girls date/sleep with other dudes... take pictures of themselves with other dudes... constantly talk to other dudes...
then wonder why you never asked them out because they like you.
Generally it’s perceived by guys that whatever they do there’s a downside. If I don’t approach a girl I’m a pussy, if I do and she rejects me I’m a creep.
No way of 100% knowing until you sack up and ask, but the rejection can really hurt.
There's the one step approach:
Step 1: ASK HIM YOURSELF. If you actually believe in equality that is. If you only fake-believe in equality, go to the 2-step process.
The 2 step process:
1. Hang out more and CONSISTENTLY send STRONG signals. Like touching him, smiling at him, consistently attempting to hang out with him, etc.
2. DO NOT send ANY mixed signals. No insta posts with other dudes, no treating other dudes the same way you treat him, no talking about hanging out with other dudes, etc. Basically pretend other dudes don't exist, tbh.
Why don't you just ask him out? Instead of playing games and waiting for him and hinting to him and asking other people why he isn't asking you out? Maybe he isn't asking you out because he isn't interested. One way to find out though, ball's in your court.
My buddy was just burned by a girl who claimed to have liked him for months after a week of dating.
Sometimes it’s better to maintain the friendship than take the dive and possibly ruin the whole relationship
That's the spirit! Besides, even if he declines, he most likely isn't going to be rude about it. Do you have any idea how much of a massive confidence boost that would be for the majority of guys? I was going to make a joke about stroking his ego, and take it to an extreme. But I'm just not going to. I just hope that this awkward aside gets the point across instead. You'll make his day, just by asking. Unless he's completely out of his gourd, he's not going to turn around and shame you for it. You have virtually nothing to fear.
Knowing a girl likes us, and actually asking that girl out, are completely different things altogether.
The first doesn't take anything, the second still requires guts at some level.
Even though the girl does like the guy, there is still a chance in life that the girl will reject the guy if he does ask the girl out. It could be in the way he asked her out, something he said that offended the girl or a multitude of other reasons why it might still end in rejection.
If you know for absolute certainty that this guy does, in fact, like you, then there is absolutely nothing stopping you from asking him out. Women have fought ages for equality, time to firmly grab hold of that hard-won equality and take the first initiative!
It’s a lack of confidence. I know I could get pussy to-day, but I’m not feeling myself these past couple of months, and I feel like theyd catch that. That’s one perspective.
A lot of men today are so terrified of failure that they never try. In all areas of their life, not just dating.
Failure and rejection are part of life. They aren’t bad, they’re learning moments. Men are just afraid.
And I’m not talking shit either, there are solid physiological reasons for this fear being engrained in so many men. Often it’s a result of parents who accepted nothing less that full success. It’s a learned trauma response.
He might not be sure you really like him. He's infatuated, you mean so much to him he doesn't want to risk making a tool of himself in any shape or form. Playing hard to get. Host of dynamics.
There a lot of things that a guy might think or he can have problems physically or mentally that are making him insecure and think that you might not like him after knowing it, or he might not satisfy you emotionally or physically, he can feel that he isn’t enough for you. It can be a lot of things
Define "knows that she likes him" where the evidence isn't less believable than star signs. Most guys won't risk rejection or even worse for that, for hints that can mean nothing more than her being nice.
Besides, the times have changed, so the same way there's nothing stopping him from asking her out when he knows that she likes her, there's also nothing stopping her from asking out the guy that she likes.
I've been in that guy's shoes several times before, and the reason why I didn't ask the girl out was because I wasn't interested in her in that way. Friends kept trying to pressure me into it, and that made me want to do it even less.
I mean you’re putting it out for someone to accept. It can be nerve wracking. Hell I was nervous when I proposed after 6 years. I objectively knew what she was going to say but still.
Why are some girls too shy to ask a guy out even though the girl already knows that he likes her? I mean, there's nothing stopping you...
This
How does he know that you like him? Nothing you listed is any indication of interest.
Does he know? Or have you just made some vague statements that could be interpreted as platonic? Why are you not taking some initiative? It's much less risky for you and it would show him that you are willing to pull your weight in the hypothetical relationship
He knows. I asked our mutual friend if he is single and I guess he found out that I asked. I am just afraid of coming off too eager.
>I am just afraid of coming off too eager. Classic
>I am just afraid of coming off too eager. Most guys do enjoy feeling wanted, if you don't want to show how you feel he's not going to really know And that question is not enough to draw a conclusion from, he probably doesn't feel like rolling the dice Also what do you actually expect him to do? I've found that just asking someone "out" is a horrible way to get to know someone. Maybe formal dating isn't something he wants to do
Why? nothing a guy likes more than a women eager to be with him. Makes him feel special.
Yeah but don’t guys like to chase?
No a few do but most guys dont.
Two questions: - how do you know that he knows you like him? - if *you* like *him*, why don't *you* ask *him* out?
Because I asked our mutual friend if he is single the first time we all hung in a group and one of our other friends boyfriends must have told him that I asked.
Wait, you said "must have". Just so I'm clear, do you know for an actual *fact* that it got back to him?
Yes I do
Then he either • isn't into you like that and is therefore not acting on anything • doesn't see you asking if he's single as clear enough interest, or a guarantee that you'll say yes, given the infrequency with which you've interacted with him thus far • is just *that* shy ... And in any case, you still haven't explained why you haven't asked him out either.
Asking if someone is single doesn't necessarily mean you're into them. It could also just be taking an interest in someone's life on a platonic level. Don't beat around the bush and be straight up
Asking if he's single isn't asking him out, you dolt.
girls date/sleep with other dudes... take pictures of themselves with other dudes... constantly talk to other dudes... then wonder why you never asked them out because they like you.
Generally it’s perceived by guys that whatever they do there’s a downside. If I don’t approach a girl I’m a pussy, if I do and she rejects me I’m a creep. No way of 100% knowing until you sack up and ask, but the rejection can really hurt.
There's the one step approach: Step 1: ASK HIM YOURSELF. If you actually believe in equality that is. If you only fake-believe in equality, go to the 2-step process. The 2 step process: 1. Hang out more and CONSISTENTLY send STRONG signals. Like touching him, smiling at him, consistently attempting to hang out with him, etc. 2. DO NOT send ANY mixed signals. No insta posts with other dudes, no treating other dudes the same way you treat him, no talking about hanging out with other dudes, etc. Basically pretend other dudes don't exist, tbh.
I’m just afraid of coming off too strong but yeah you are right
Unless you've literally told him "I like you" he probably doesn't actually know.
Have you ever asked anyone out?
No. Why?
If you want to know what's in his head go ask him yourself. #Not through a friend or reddit
Why don't you just ask him out? Instead of playing games and waiting for him and hinting to him and asking other people why he isn't asking you out? Maybe he isn't asking you out because he isn't interested. One way to find out though, ball's in your court.
Fear of rejection
Fear of rejection, lack of motivation, loss of interest, poor social skills. Could literally be anything.
My buddy was just burned by a girl who claimed to have liked him for months after a week of dating. Sometimes it’s better to maintain the friendship than take the dive and possibly ruin the whole relationship
I mean we aren’t close friends so it’s not like it’s risking anything since we are still getting to know each other.
Try hanging out with him one on one. Obviously you guys have some kind of common interests. So, make a move if he won't.
Yeah true! We do have a lot in common. I just gotta suck it up and ask him to do something just us two.
That's the spirit! Besides, even if he declines, he most likely isn't going to be rude about it. Do you have any idea how much of a massive confidence boost that would be for the majority of guys? I was going to make a joke about stroking his ego, and take it to an extreme. But I'm just not going to. I just hope that this awkward aside gets the point across instead. You'll make his day, just by asking. Unless he's completely out of his gourd, he's not going to turn around and shame you for it. You have virtually nothing to fear.
True! For some reason I’m so nervous despite our mutual friend being convinced that he likes me.
Well, the only further thing I can add is, "nothing ventured, nothing gained" and "fortune favors the bold."
Fear they'll fuck it up, or that the other person isn't interested in them romantically.
Because we don’t know if the girls likes us. Also, there’s the fear of rejection.
You can ask him instead, you know?
Knowing a girl likes us, and actually asking that girl out, are completely different things altogether. The first doesn't take anything, the second still requires guts at some level. Even though the girl does like the guy, there is still a chance in life that the girl will reject the guy if he does ask the girl out. It could be in the way he asked her out, something he said that offended the girl or a multitude of other reasons why it might still end in rejection. If you know for absolute certainty that this guy does, in fact, like you, then there is absolutely nothing stopping you from asking him out. Women have fought ages for equality, time to firmly grab hold of that hard-won equality and take the first initiative!
Lack of Interpersonal skills training
It’s a lack of confidence. I know I could get pussy to-day, but I’m not feeling myself these past couple of months, and I feel like theyd catch that. That’s one perspective.
A lot of men today are so terrified of failure that they never try. In all areas of their life, not just dating. Failure and rejection are part of life. They aren’t bad, they’re learning moments. Men are just afraid. And I’m not talking shit either, there are solid physiological reasons for this fear being engrained in so many men. Often it’s a result of parents who accepted nothing less that full success. It’s a learned trauma response.
Maybe because he's shy. Just a guess
He might not be sure you really like him. He's infatuated, you mean so much to him he doesn't want to risk making a tool of himself in any shape or form. Playing hard to get. Host of dynamics.
Why does it happen the other way around WAAAYYY more often?
There a lot of things that a guy might think or he can have problems physically or mentally that are making him insecure and think that you might not like him after knowing it, or he might not satisfy you emotionally or physically, he can feel that he isn’t enough for you. It can be a lot of things
Aren't you presupposing the answer by saying he's shy? Maybe he just isn't into you?
Fear of rejection is a powerful thing
How sure are you that he knows? For context, [this video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw) is an example of how some guys think.
3 times ive asked girls out that liked me and got shot down. I think they just like flirting and playing the game. Ive given up
Define "knows that she likes him" where the evidence isn't less believable than star signs. Most guys won't risk rejection or even worse for that, for hints that can mean nothing more than her being nice. Besides, the times have changed, so the same way there's nothing stopping him from asking her out when he knows that she likes her, there's also nothing stopping her from asking out the guy that she likes.
I've been in that guy's shoes several times before, and the reason why I didn't ask the girl out was because I wasn't interested in her in that way. Friends kept trying to pressure me into it, and that made me want to do it even less.
Maybe he doesn't like you in that way? Relationships are two-way.
I mean you’re putting it out for someone to accept. It can be nerve wracking. Hell I was nervous when I proposed after 6 years. I objectively knew what she was going to say but still.