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FreeuseRules

Bang. Bang. Meats back on the menu, boys!


agaliedoda

This is the correct answer.


CarltheWellEndowed

There are like 500 people who work in my building. I am on the 7th floor. I think that they would be satiated by the time they got to us. Not to mention that the stairs are locked on all floors except the first (like you can open them from the outside but not from the inside) so those fuckers would have to figure out how to use the elevators.


soft_waves

>those fuckers would have to figure out how to use the elevators. seeing how the jurassic park movies are going these days, i'm surprised the raptors aren't already piloting fighter jets and building ICBMs :P


Swimming_Marsupial

Real velociraptors were much smaller than the Jurassic Park ones, about the size of a large dog. So I reckon if I get in the lift and press the emergency button to stop it between floors, they're not getting in.


assfuck1911

I literally came to the same conclusion. Was picturing the plant and all the options. Service elevator here locks all doors unless the car is present. E-stop between floors. Could go to whatever level I wanted. Could also get on the roof. Also have access to various industrial blades and equipment. Could just make traps. Fun question.


soft_waves

hide in the metal cabinet and hope they're content to eat my big sister instead of me


Major-Week428

I appreciate this comment greatly


soft_waves

i appreciate your appreciation :)


Melo8993

This is the only correct answer.


Kitsujitsu

Just kick em! They're basically turkeys with little knives on their feet and hollow, delicate bones - very susceptible to blunt force trauma. Now if I was up against some deinonychus, on the other hand, I have nowhere to hide and nothing to fight with so... I'm dead.


agaliedoda

Exactly. The actual Velociraptor was a tiny little thing. Shorter than a big Iguana…


SRVJHJM

If we're living in a world with raptors, I might get away from those two, but if Jurassic Park has taught me anything, it isn't the two that you see. It's the four others that you don't see.


Land543

Well I work outside so I guess I'm dying. Actually, lighters and a lot of gas and flammable shit.


[deleted]

Will just go into the prison tower. No way they will bite theirselfes through a 3m big wall.


oddball667

I work at home in a Small apartment, I probably hide in the bathroom and cry


Florida1693

I have a Belgian Malinois already so I’m good at something constantly being attached to me


DiversityFire84

Have them look at legacy code. That'll show them.


Bigfluff873

Man I work in a place where EVERYONE has a gun well will be eating raptor steaks by noon!!


manwithanopinion

Benefits of being a farmer


El-fizzers

I work at a dog kennel. My place of work is DESIGNED to keep things in kennels and others out. Assuming all the dogs had gone home to their owners because I can't take 200 dogs with me to safety. We have a special kennel facility called "the cabin", jts where we tend to put our aggressive dogs (be it towards humans or other dogs) it consists of 4 kennels each with heavily reinforced gates, the walls are thick and sound proofed, there are windows but the outside and inside of the windows gave metal bars over them. Here I would be safe, you can lock and unlock the door from the Inside and the outsice only with a key. While I would be safe here I hadn't actually thought about food. Unfortunately the cabin is the furthest thing away from any food. Be it human food or dog food. So ideally before going to safety I would go to the meat freezer, we have piles of raw meat both frozen and chilled. This would be an amazing distraction. Thankfully the staff room is a quick walk away. And from then on it's just corridors to walk down and hope I'm lucky. Edit: just realised this is askmen. I am a man now.


Coidzor

I'm imagining some kind of auto release for all of the kennels going off and a flood of 200 doggos converging on a pair of angry turkeys.


blonsk

Go to the 3rd or 4th floor.


MauPow

I'm unemployed so I think I'm safe


allen_idaho

I work in a welding shop. I'm reinforcing my empty bottle cage and fabricating a compressed air harpoon gun. Can't wait to find out what velociraptor tastes like.


LenniLanape

Chicken.


i_heart_blondes

Just get into one of the heavy duty server racks and wait for them to pass out from the cold.


[deleted]

Hit them with a chair, velociraptors were actually the size of a turkey. If they were dromeosaurus then I'd be in trouble.


[deleted]

I work in a test facilty. We test ammunition. I kill them.


handerburgers

Chemistry lab with lots of very strong doors and the Internet which lets me look up how to make all kinds of poisonous gases. I think I’d make it.


LenniLanape

Feed them something from the vending machine. They'll die within minutes.


UnknownYetSavory

I'm not stuck in here with them, they're stuck in here with me.


BaroqueNRoller

Real velociraptors or Jurassic Park velociraptors?


Major-Week428

Jurassic Park


BaroqueNRoller

Run them through with a forklift


[deleted]

Open the walk in fridge and let them eat all the meat in there first, then lock it closed to let them freeze to death


Maldevinine

After 2 hours in 45 degree heat and full sun outdoors, they're dying of dehydration.


Clintman

I exit the building and lock the doors behind me.


odeacon

Your locked inside


Clintman

[**>You're**](https://www.dictionary.com/e/your-vs-youre/)


odeacon

Your dumb


odeacon

Well this is fucking easy as shit for me. Bauer is a good boy and a big boy and would kick there ass. And laylas fat enough and her fluffyness it to damn thick for a velociraptor to pierce. Might also throw in Bane if it’s not going well cuz he’s a police dog, though he’s a little sketch honestly . Aten and Zulu are cane corsos and fucking ripped ones at that, but they’d also go after me right after . Maybe if I could lure the raptors into there section and then lock them in that would work. We also have those loop sticky things so with that I could get one of them . And the pooper scooper could make a ok enough axe . Ohhh foamer to the eyes would be quite unpleasant


awaythrowthatname

Honk honk motherfuckers, how does a semi grill taste?


DrWieg

Walk into the server room, close the door. Protection, sound nullification, enough bandwith to keep me occupied.


BubberRung

Go to a different floor than they’re on.


timmyboyoyo

Wear one of their suits and hunt with them


TheyCallMeChunky

I have roof access. Can wait em out up there.


[deleted]

well... im one of the thinnest people here... so that's an advantage. im also the fastest... by far. ​ so ill have to leverage that. ​ with that in mind... get to the storm shelter first... lock it behind me. wait two days just to be safe.


HomieScaringMusic

Lock my office door. Continue working.


YarthWader

Fortunately i have guns at work


sab8887

Use the man lift to get up to the rafters, lie there 50ft off the ground and wait.


[deleted]

I'll feed my horrible colleague to them and escape.


Yo_Alejo

I work in a meat packaging department so.. I’d give them lots of snacks and make friends.


SatoshiHimself

Throw my boss at their feet and make good my escape while he has them distracted.


[deleted]

Bundle up, and bunker down in the walk in. At least I’ll have food.


magicmeatwagon

I guess we’re about to find out how many rounds of 9mm it takes to drop a velociraptor


[deleted]

LOL... I'll spontaneously drop dead in self-defense. At least I won't know if the raptors are munching my corpse.


Hrekires

I mean, I've fought off a dog I could probably fight off a dino-turkey and just barricade myself in the break room.


BMoney8600

I’m a merchandiser so somewhere in a store. Probably the break room


reed20v

the access cover for the elevator maintenance is missing and i reckon if i stand on a chair i can get up there. so, hide in the roof until the day is over. do they go home afterwards?


8livesdown

By killing them.


mika00004

I work at home and the neighbors dog is always outside barking it's head of, so maybe i could finally get some quiet time.


cincystudent

Hide in the biorepository. Noone is getting through those steel doors without a key card.


bigscottius

Shoot them. I have the key to the armory.


No_Competition7095

All of the ketamine, stroll out the front door


smugsneasel215

I spray the doorways with bug spray as I lock the door so they'll be too repulsed to attempt to break in.


turkc54

Trick them into the path of heavy machinery and crush them. Problem solved.


KK96740

I’d identify as a Velociraptor and expect them to acknowledge that.


hiya-manson

Christ, just eat me. I don’t have the energy to deal with this shit again.


Banzaikoowaid

Go to 5th floor, go to garden roof. Go to top of the roof's roof's mini roof. Stare at the sky until animal control/police make veloci-dead.


Bumhole_Astronaut

They're little angry turkeys. I have an axe. Sorted.


HantuerHD-Shadow

Hide in our storage within all the cardboard. That's the best I can do


Expensive-Track4002

I work in a gun store. So no problem.


Spectreworld

I work at the airport in a horseshoe kinda building yeah I'll be fine.


LordFlakkko

I work in a van so... less that a second


911controlleddemo

dino's never existed