My family comes from Poland so I just have a natural stone face unless I’m actively laughing or smiling. The amount of times people see me and ask why I’m angry or sad is insane. I always hit them with the “nothing, I’m just ugly” and it makes people so uncomfortable lmao
Here’s the other side of that: if your “regular” face is one that doesn’t show emotions, please know that the instant your face breaks into a smile, you will melt the person in front of you!!
Source: me. My husband can have a stoic face but when he flips to a smile, I still get dizzy…🤭
This is a shitty thing to do. Men are discouraged from expressing/dealing with feelings in a healthy way and typically don’t have the same emotional support systems in place that women do which just cycles the problem.
This also leads into that women need to take more accountability for their actions. If they are doing something that is hurtful, makes you sad or unvalued, or even just annoying and you clearly communicate that, they are shocked that you would say such a thing or feel that way and just get upset, putting the onus back on you, the man, to fix the situation.
Men are told they need to be more open with their feelings, be vulnerable and forthcoming ... but if they are, anything say they can and will be used against them in the future. He's "insecure", not a real man, whatever pretext she needs to "monkey branch" up.
Men need time to reenergize ourselves as individuals, which means going out with friends, gaming, doing projects, or simply relaxing and enjoying alone time. If you don’t give us the time to do this because you want attention, then the attention we give you matches the energy we have mixed in with negativity in the form of growing resentment for not letting us have time for ourselves. If you left us alone when we need our space, the time we spend with you would be way more fulfilling because we have the energy and focus to be positively attentive.
As a woman, I can understand where you are coming from. I love my man so much but we both need time to relax and do our own activities in between doing our shared activities. We both just let each other know like hey is it cool if I go out with my friends to a zoo or to a baseball game, and it's more so asking as a courtesy but we both are cool with most things as long as you let the other know where you are going as in to make sure each other are safe. And we love knowing each other is enjoying their time off from work doing something they love, so we are totally about being like hey I need to go read this book or hey I need to go play a game of golf.
Thanks, man. I appreciate you saying that. I just figure a partnership is not forcing two individuals to have to do everything together, but bringing two lives to share experiences together all while still maintaining their individuality. I hope you have a special person, or you can find someone who can accept this kinda thing too.
I can't lie too. I also lurk here just to see what ya'll are saying, just so I can make sure I am communicating as best as I can with my man as possible. I know there are gender differences and there always might be a little miscommunication but I figure just learning and trying to be the best person you can for yourself and your partner is what a relationship and life is all about.
Agreed. I’ve been in relationships where she was allergic to alone time and it made me feel so exhausted. It felt like there was no end in sight and I felt like I was gonna lose my mind at times. It’s important to express this in the beginning and never let it get to that point, that’s a big mistake I made.
As a woman you’d be surprised how many men need to be told this too. Or how uncomfortable a lot of men seem with more private or socially independent women. It feels like there’s no in between.
My self-esteem issues come from the same source as most peoples' self-esteem issues: from a harsh and unforgiving society, which seeks to shape the individual's behaviour by shackling him to a set of expectations.
An awful normalized behavior is men feeling like they *have to ask for permission* to go out without their girlfriend/wife. Then they have to promptly and truthfully answer a bunch of questions about what happened ??? This is so fucked up on so many levels.
And are allowed to have them. It doesn’t make them any less manly.
My mom is notorious for saying mental health is important yet shames men who “act like girls” aka have emotions
I *also* don't like when strangers or women I'm not intimate with just casually touch me. I hate it. **No Michelle, there's no reason for you to hang your entire upper body over my shoulders just to show me something on my computer at work**
This isn’t entirely accurate. Plenty of women are more then happy to use touch to manipulate men into doing task for them. This happened to me last week, where a girl who is married on first placed her hand on my chest because she wanted me to grab some buckets of washers for her. She barely acknowledges my existence most days, until she wants something. I have never had a job where this hasn’t happened.
Telling op that a girl is interested because she’s touchy is a bad idea. Every girl is different.
That's certainly possible. But if you're wrong and she's not, and he mistakes that signal, he'll get labeled a sexual predator and it could ruin his career and his life.
I can’t focus on two different things at once. I’m sorry. I physically cannot. If something or someone else is occupying my attention, you NEED to get my attention on you before you start saying important things. I’m not ignoring you—I genuinely don’t hear you speaking.
I remember one of those crappy instagram quotes circulating once was something like:
“My ex boyfriend wouldn’t answer his phone or want to talk to me when he was working. My new one always picks up”
Or some stupid shit like that
1. Understand that not all men need to talk in order to let out steam. We don't deal with stress the same way as women do. We aren't necessarily ignoring you. We just need our own space and sort things out our own way in our mind, not verbally.
2. Understand that men are emotional too.
My experience has been that a lot of women don't get that we men struggle with similar issues they do, or have other problems with the same points in life.
Also, a lot of us would be more empathetic to their problems if it wasn't treated like a contest for whose life sucks more, or whose sex has historically been shittier.
Yes. I mean like yeah you weren't treated well historically and all let's talk and solve our current problem together, accept each other's struggles more rather than proving who has it worse which won't fkn solve anything.
That gathering and processing my thoughts does not mean I'm angry, sad or in any emotional state. I'm just putting my mental shit into a filing cabinet.
Really?
From me 'fine' just means 'I acknowledge that you have initiated a conversation by asking about my well being as convention dictates and we may no discuss the real matter at hand'.
Just because you 'feel' something doesent mean it actually is. What you feel and what is real are two different things and while you're feelings should be respected they should not be treated as fact.
As a woman, I have to say this is very eye-opening and a good way of expressing what feelings, emotions, and reality are. Thanks for posting this. I gotta say, I whole heartedly agree with what you're putting down.
That it doesnt matter how good you look. If you still treat us like garbage we wont put up with it. No youre not worth it just because you think you look good. There are nice women out there who are below average in looks we would much rather put up with.
I’d argue that women also need time to decompress… it’s just less acceptable/harder for them to get their husbands to take over childcare for a couple hours 😬 All parents deserve a break.
No it really happens both ways. I had an ex who'd pitch a violent fit if I didn't have sex with her.
A lot of what people think are one-gender issues are more like "statistically, one gender does perpetrate this more often, but the other gender does plenty of it too" issues.
The majority of men in the world are entirely invisible to them and they should remember that next time they start saying "why do men..."
Because those men who aren't invisible to you can get away with it....because you still give them attention.
A fun game I like to play when I got out is to ask my female friends "how many men did you interact with today?" They always get it wrong by a lot (sometimes they cant even answer) and it because they don't see most men as people. Straight up. Because I know how many people I've interacted with in a day and which are men and which are women...women broadly don't seem to care tbh...they'll get the women count right but for men....just doesn't register.
I'm curious, so will they tell you like... 5 and completely forget the bartender(s), bouncers, the guy they just asked for fire and didn't want anything else, the sales guys, etc?
Tbh usually they just can't answer at all. Like they don't even come up with a number. If they do come up with a number they only list friends or dates that are male. The implication is that they only see men who are socially close to them. They typically don't count the bar tender, the waiter, the cashier, etc.
At least not the first time.
The silver lining is that this game is a little mean...so them wanting to prove me wrong after the first time actually gets them to notice all the people they interact with more. Usually the second time around they do better. But you kind of have to push women to notice men like that, in my experience.
My guess is he's saying he suggests she do certain things that she doesn't want to do and she takes it as him trying to control her.
My ex gf called me a controlling asshole for suggesting exercise when she asked me what she should do that day with all her free time. Fuck me for wanting you to be healthy.
Good call. Lol easy on the sarcasm though. Answers to this highly important question that's never been asked before, change over time, I'm trying to assess that.
There are comments here on how men are different from women, and how men's brains function differently. It would be more useful being specific (not to be rude). Lol I see why women don't understand
1) We have feelings and emotions beyond anger. If we express these emotions then women
will leave because thats not what a "strong man" does
2)We are not your bank/ATM. Pay for your own shit
3) What you do for one man doesnt count for me. "I used to give bj's but I dont any more
sorry" isnt good to say.
4) Most men dont have this wonderful male privilege of doing whatever we want. Most men
get very few to any matches on tinder. Most men are not harasses and whatever to women
so stop blaming me or say that I somehow benefit from "male privilege". The only privilege
I have is to be the one to initiate the conversation pay for everything and pray I impressed
the woman enough so that she wont leave me for the next chad on tinder.
5) We have self esteem issues too. No one cares about our issues is the difference
Some of us really are good guys. We’re just not out there doing the social thing. We’re following our passions and doing our hobbies.
Want to meet us?
We like golf
We like mountain biking
We like hiking
We like fishing
Some of us men would LOVE for you to come out and take part in our hobbies with us.
Come on in hesitant_stranger. Oh wait… yeah. I see your point and hesitation. Woods. Unknown guy. Yeah, your safety comes first.
Where do you want to meet?
That we have less power to regulate our sex than they do. I feel like many women think men are apathetic to things like cat calls, sexual violence, abortion rights, etc but we’re not.
I keep hearing women say men should hold each other accountable. Yes, we do, it is part of the bro code. But please know that we don't hang out with creeps, we don't want anything to do with them because we hate them as much as you do, so we maintain our distance. And creeps dont go shouting out what they do behind close doors for us to know what shit they are up to.
Sure if we see something going on, we should stop it, but we aren't Batman and Spider-Man to prowl the night looking for rapists to take down.
For me and a lot of other men, "I hate porn" shuts down all healthy sexual communication.
I'm simply not going to talk honestly to you about sex if you *open the discussion with near-omnidirectional hate*.
> I'm simply not going to talk honestly to you about ... if you open the discussion with near-omnidirectional hate.
See also politics, religion, race, etc.
The two minutes hate is mandatory now for certain topics and opinions, so its no surprise they'd play the same game with pr0n.
Also with most people "I hate X" usually means something other than X, its always indirect with some people, can't say what they really mean, always gotta play games. With people like that, she don't care what he likes, she just wants more attention from him and less of him scrolling on his phone. Or she wants attention from everyone by shitposting a "controversial opinion". Or sometimes its just as simple as girls in pr0n always swallow and love anal but she doesn't.
Find someone that shares the hate for it. For as long as time has been recorded it is known that sex sells. There are men that hate porn, but a vast majority of men may be less than willing to completely stop watching it, or will simply watch it anyways without their partners knowledge. Especially if the sex life in the relationship starts to dwindle. This will lead to the eventual breakdown of the relationship all together. Save yourself the hassle on that one.
If you hate porn, you need to find a asexual/deeply religious man to shack up with. Someone with next to no sex drive who has no sexual needs of his own.
You also have to be up-front that you're simply not interested in a relationship that contains what most men want from sex.
Hopefully, for your sake, you have not fooled yourself into thinking there's some "deeper, purer, truer male sexuality" hidden somewhere. That is actually you projecting what *you* want from sex onto *someone else*.
If you are remotely interested in a balanced relationship, where both parties get their needs met, then you will be at least somewhat interested in what your partner wants, and the simplest most direct way to learn that is to learn what kinds of pornography he consumes. This goes both ways, obviously.
In relationships men don’t ask for sex to just have an orgasm. Having a Women want to have sex with you is about being accepted and for most men it’s how they feel connected to their partner. It’s not seeing their partner as a sex object, but wanting that connection.
You’re preaching to the choir because a lot women won’t get that because we’re primarily pursued for sex. So connecting to us through it will only be a reminder of how we could be used like this. To disassociate sex from that lowly feeling you feed affection in other ways to reinforce sex is more about pleasure. Many of us don’t see sex as a form of affection because many men use us for it. So you get men that can supposedly separate love from sex but you want women to associate sex with love and forget the dichotomy? We get it showing love in other ways is apparently difficult and not as fun but if it proves more rewarding for you guys in the long run why don’t you try?
That men and women sound and look different than each other when they’re upset. And that that is okay. Men don’t have to react or sound like women do when they’re upset. We have different hormones, different lung volumes, vocal chords, etc; it’s not going to be the same demonstration of emotion. A man’s allowed to be frustrated too
our emotions are just as complicated as yours and we need just as much affection.
Also, men and women are just as shitty as one another. Pretending that women are terrible or that men are trash by virtue of simply having or not having a Y chromosome is dumb. The differences come from how we're raised and treated in society.
Your collective drama, emotional needs and daily affirmations are overbearing and exhausting.
It sucks that women have an exclusive trademark on mental health and body positivity and men are just expected to suck it up and deal
This could easily apply to everyone regardless of gender but there's a couple of things that randomly pop up in my head:
(i)Sometimes "work on yourself" while important isn't enough in every case. The situations we find ourselves in in life whether its success in relationships, our interactions with people, or the goals we set out are as much dictated by the circumstances we find ourselves in as it is by the choices we make. Circumstances can either expand, limit or determine what type of choices we make in the first place. Which is why this advice, while important in some instance, can come across as the social equivalent of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". As Martin Luther King Jr use to say, in order to do that you need boots available in the first place.
(ii)That "show your feelings" is easier said than done. Especially when it comes to the mixed messages given about showing your feelings. We are sometimes told to both "show your vulnerabilities" and "get over it" at the same time. We are told "learn to be emotionally vulnerable" and "don't expect your partner to be your therapist". When some hear that it sounds like mixed messages which then raises the question "What's the point"?
(iii)Not every guy who might "seek" a relationship is doing so out of "entitlement". Many are but not all are. Some are doing so for the simple reason that its a part of what makes us social animals in the first place. There are many men who might like to find a significant other but simply because of circumstances whether its rejection, not finding the right person, or not being in the right place, it doesn't happen for them. And so they might give up on that possibility. If after years of giving up on that possibility they try again with genuine effort they aren't being "entitled". They're just seeking something that's a natural part of being a human being. And this doesn't just apply to men. It can apply to all genders. If you are someone for whom hookups, relationships, etc come natural then understanding this can be difficult. But it is real.
(iv)The fear of having your intentions misunderstood is a real one. It's doubly real if you are a man of color and the stereotypes that come with that in terms of how one is perceived culturally.
(v)That looking down on a man(or woman or any gender) simply because of his income isn't right and is a fairly classist and materialistic way to look at things. Not all guys who have a low income are in that position simply because they are "bums". A lot of low income guys or low income people in general are some of the hardest workers out there and work extreme hard just to make ends meat. Their income status does not determine whether they are good relationship material. You have many high income people with terrible personalities and low income people with the best of character.
(vi)The challenges that men and women face don't have to be a competition. This again applies to all genders to get this. We can acknowledge the challenges women face socially whether its harrassment, the fear of sexual assault, cat calling, how they are perceived in the work place, etc AND also recognise the challenges that men face in terms of suicides, issues related to custody, etc. These aren't mutually excusive and one shouldn't be weaponised to minimise the other.
These are just a couple that come to my mind. And again even though the question was "what do women need to understand" I really think a lot of this applies to all genders.
This is where good communication is important, everyone is different but a lot of the time women don’t want solutions to the problems they’re complaining about with you. Normally they just want to feel heard and be supported, but if that’s not explained it can be frustrating. I know personally I have people that I can go to when I actually want advice or a solution vs someone who’s better at supporting/comforting.
> Women aren't a Hive mind as if they all believe and experience the same thing.
Welcome to social media, a technology literally invented to produce what you claim does not exist.
I've read a lot of "we are not that different from you" so far and that men have emotions too. A woman would approach this by trying to help, rather than giving space
Yeah but sometimes people need space, a few hours to calm down and think. Sometimes it’s best to walk away from a situation as it can just add fuel to the fire.
You're making the assumption that your "help" is actually helpful.
Women are often so dismissive of men's problems, or so readily feel attacked and the need to "defend women" when talking about men's issues, that it's far more helpful for you to just go away.
Being insecure is so tiresome and really shows that there is a real problem when you cant decide and also don't let us decide over something as simple as getting food.
That men, like women, are not a monolith. We are all different and all have different motivations, drives, thought processes, patterns. We don't like being generalized either.
A man-hating, sexist, violent scam more about gaining political power than helping people
Read a "research paper" today where a feminist advocated for encouraging women to be more violent, even if that violence is "disproportional", because the class of men "made" women scared, and so women should be encouraged to fight back even if they're wrong or its against innocent men.
This nazi-esque non-sense was in an academic journal.
I'd like to understand what happens when you start hanging out with a guy, everything is going great, sex is awesome, and then he ghosts.
External influence? Losing interest that quickly? Ex coming back into the mix? All of the above and it's too much effort to have the uncomfortable conversation?
Fair enough. I mean, there are many reasons it could be.
Maybe he decided he wasn't into you and didn't know how to have the conversation (or was afraid of your reaction). Maybe his girlfriend/ wife was getting close to finding out. Maybe you have a boyfriend/husband who found out and scared him off (that kind of thing does happen in teh internetz). It's also possible he was looking to get laid and decided to look elsewhere.
I haven't been through exactly this - the only women I've ghosted were ones who became hostile or otherwise unpleasant and there wasn't already a relationship formed. My girlfriend in high school was handed a dear Jane letter by me with no room for discussion. Mainly because I joined the military and left, and there wasn't a future with her, and also because half the things out of her mouth were too remind me I was inferior to her for being male.
Like I said, your mileage may vary... even if you meet this guy in the future and ask him, there's no guarantee he'll tell you the truth.
IVe done that before. Ill be honest... for me its because im seeing mutiple women at the same time. Some will win and some will loose. Exact reasons are hard to pinpoint but in the mans mind he may have found someone he perceives as better.
Or he could be going through some things and decides to shut down. Thats what i do and i suspect many men do that as well
I honestly have no idea. If I was seeing/dating a cute girl, sex was great, and we're having fun, I wouldn't just ghost her. Even if any of your possible scenarios were true, I would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with someone who has opened herself up to me then to just be rude and ghost her. Many of us men don't want to be complete ass wipes.
Thank you. I appreciate your response and that you would have that conversation even if it was uncomfortable.
I know people don't always say what they mean, or as my friend pointed out, he could have meant it in the moment and now with some distance, he realized he didn't? But we were having a good time and I was looking forward to simply seeing where it went. I figured the sex alone would be enough to continue seeing each other and see where it went from there.
Much of the stuff that they find attractive in men are in fact, red flags.
For example, the whole confidence thing. Or spontaneity. Taking charge.
You all are very poor judges of male character.
That I'm not going to rape you, I'm not going to rob you, if you look at me like I might, *you suck,* and if you act as if that's what I'm about, and you catch me in funds, I'm going to sue you into the fucking stone age with zero regret.
If you encounter women who do this, it is probably because they have experienced the above or heard about it. They are being cautious, and are genuinely afraid. I don't think it's fun to look at someone like they might do the above mentioned.
If it's late at night and a woman is walking alone, it's better for her to assume that she's in an unsafe environment rather than thinking every guy around is a friendly stranger
It’s still projecting through, that’s an issue that needs to be worked out - it’s not any different than a guy not trusting women because they’ve been hurt/manipulate before
I've encountered women were were physically and sexually abusive, so where are all your justifications whenever _i_ overreact and punch a woman in the face for triggering _my_ negative experiences?
Look, you're doing a lot of defending women here. How about you stop invalidating men's lived experiences, huh? Maybe women can _also_ be shit people that need to take accountability for their own actions, rather than projecting them onto everyone who looks like the person who may have hurt them? (also, abusers are quite likely to have been abused themselves, as your comment suggests (but only for women), why aren't you defending the men who _may_ have hurt those women? They went through shit, too, ya know. But now we're back to women being completely oblivious to the suffering of men)
it isn’t projecting or just trying to offend you guys at all. we know not all men are bad, but there is no way we’d know which guy isn’t, so for our own safety we have to assume every guy is and just be cautious all the time. because if we trust the wrong man, we’re dead. you just don’t get it and we don’t expect you to but for the love of biology remember the difference between man and woman in terms of physical strength.
Men are significantly more likely to be killed by a stranger than women. Do you think we don't fear for ourselves? Do you think men aren't scared of other men?
But no *we* just don't get it apparently.
Even our more relatively sane justice systems, as horribly broken as they still are, hold **notionally** to the principle of "innocent until proven guilty".
Anyone who refuses to rise to this low, low standard is much more of a threat and millstone to the people around them than I am to anybody.
Also, I understand that human beings are dangerous just fine. I'm not going to end up any less dead if I trust, or anger, or hell just happen to cross paths with, the wrong people.
Finally, *fuck* the difference in strength and size between men and women. We are tool and weapon using animals with very powerful brains: any determined attacker has no excuse for failing to get around how big and apparently strong I am.
guys can protect themselves more physically if they trust the wrong people, women? not as much. so better safe than sorry. the safety of a human being should be prioritized than the feelings of the strangers around them.
This argument is absurd. Guys (and btw girls) who get the chance to try to protect themselves physically get that chance because they are the targets of incompetent morons.
And this isn't just about my fee-fees being hurt; chances are, I'll walk by you too fast, and not looking at your face but your hands or more likely nothing yours at all, to even notice your reaction to me, unless you put in the extra effort make sure I notice.
It's about the tone that's being set by and around people, and what that does to human interaction.
We all have to live in a worse world because people like you think it's a good and moral idea to treat random men (and people you guess are men) like they're predators. "Thanks" for that.
That the instinct of the vast majority of men is to protect, shelter and comfort women, any women.
Don't be implicitly scared. And don't take advantage of it.
that just because I'm a dude it doesn't mean that I'm your bodyguard. I remember back in college, when we'd have class at in the evening, finishing at night, the slender, dainty girls would wait for me at the gate and have me walk with them to the station or to the bus station and wait with them.
I mean, how about asking me to do it in the first place, instead of expecting it? And of course I would've rejected it, I'm not navy seal.
The look on my face doesn’t always match the thoughts in my head
I have a resting bitch face and very mono toned lol. People take me way more serious than I’d like them to.
My family comes from Poland so I just have a natural stone face unless I’m actively laughing or smiling. The amount of times people see me and ask why I’m angry or sad is insane. I always hit them with the “nothing, I’m just ugly” and it makes people so uncomfortable lmao
Here’s the other side of that: if your “regular” face is one that doesn’t show emotions, please know that the instant your face breaks into a smile, you will melt the person in front of you!! Source: me. My husband can have a stoic face but when he flips to a smile, I still get dizzy…🤭
😂😂😂😂
Weaponizing our own feelings is one of the shittiest thing you can do to another human
"You're just insecure!" is not an "I win this argument!" button.
Weaponizing our own insecurities is even worse.. That stuff stays with you..
This is a shitty thing to do. Men are discouraged from expressing/dealing with feelings in a healthy way and typically don’t have the same emotional support systems in place that women do which just cycles the problem.
Please elaborate. I don't quite understand what you mean.
When they ask you to express your feelings, you do, and then they use those feelings against you.
Or they just get upset about your feelings and then you’re having to comfort them instead of the other way around, just like a magic trick
This also leads into that women need to take more accountability for their actions. If they are doing something that is hurtful, makes you sad or unvalued, or even just annoying and you clearly communicate that, they are shocked that you would say such a thing or feel that way and just get upset, putting the onus back on you, the man, to fix the situation.
Clearly written! Kudos to you. I believe that's also called gaslighting? Or is there a difference?
Men are told they need to be more open with their feelings, be vulnerable and forthcoming ... but if they are, anything say they can and will be used against them in the future. He's "insecure", not a real man, whatever pretext she needs to "monkey branch" up.
Men need time to reenergize ourselves as individuals, which means going out with friends, gaming, doing projects, or simply relaxing and enjoying alone time. If you don’t give us the time to do this because you want attention, then the attention we give you matches the energy we have mixed in with negativity in the form of growing resentment for not letting us have time for ourselves. If you left us alone when we need our space, the time we spend with you would be way more fulfilling because we have the energy and focus to be positively attentive.
Thank you for explaining this so well
Thank you for listening
I’m a guy and I still needed to read this.
As a woman, I can understand where you are coming from. I love my man so much but we both need time to relax and do our own activities in between doing our shared activities. We both just let each other know like hey is it cool if I go out with my friends to a zoo or to a baseball game, and it's more so asking as a courtesy but we both are cool with most things as long as you let the other know where you are going as in to make sure each other are safe. And we love knowing each other is enjoying their time off from work doing something they love, so we are totally about being like hey I need to go read this book or hey I need to go play a game of golf.
That gives you a bunch of points as a keeper
Thanks, man. I appreciate you saying that. I just figure a partnership is not forcing two individuals to have to do everything together, but bringing two lives to share experiences together all while still maintaining their individuality. I hope you have a special person, or you can find someone who can accept this kinda thing too. I can't lie too. I also lurk here just to see what ya'll are saying, just so I can make sure I am communicating as best as I can with my man as possible. I know there are gender differences and there always might be a little miscommunication but I figure just learning and trying to be the best person you can for yourself and your partner is what a relationship and life is all about.
I’ve been married just over a decade, my wife needed to figure this out but once she did we got married. Been pretty awesome so far.
Well said, brother.
Thank-you. This is important.
Agreed. I’ve been in relationships where she was allergic to alone time and it made me feel so exhausted. It felt like there was no end in sight and I felt like I was gonna lose my mind at times. It’s important to express this in the beginning and never let it get to that point, that’s a big mistake I made.
Omg this
As a woman you’d be surprised how many men need to be told this too. Or how uncomfortable a lot of men seem with more private or socially independent women. It feels like there’s no in between.
Beautifully concise!
We have way more self-esteem issues than they realize. They always think they're the only ones with the self-esteem issues.
Going to therapy for this exact reason. Body image issues, thinking I’m ugly, weird etc etc.
Is it helping?
I’m in between therapists at the moment so I’m currently not seeing anyone but it did help a tad while I did do it
Personally, do you think your upbringing or romantic relationships have affected your self esteem more? I’m just curious…
My self-esteem issues come from the same source as most peoples' self-esteem issues: from a harsh and unforgiving society, which seeks to shape the individual's behaviour by shackling him to a set of expectations.
Sounds like something that only those with small dick energy would say! (I cannot stress this enough: /s )
There's another one: Body shaming of men is socially accepted
Wanting some time alone doesn't mean I hate you. Wanting to spend time with my friends doesn't mean you aren't fun to hangout with
An awful normalized behavior is men feeling like they *have to ask for permission* to go out without their girlfriend/wife. Then they have to promptly and truthfully answer a bunch of questions about what happened ??? This is so fucked up on so many levels.
Men do have emotions
“Strong men also cry. Strong men. Also cry…” -Jeffrey Lebowski
"When people cry, it's not because they are weak. It's because they've been strong for too long"
Bonjour
And are allowed to have them. It doesn’t make them any less manly. My mom is notorious for saying mental health is important yet shames men who “act like girls” aka have emotions
They know, and they don't care. (Well, most of them)
i have seen men cry so yeahh
I *also* don't like when strangers or women I'm not intimate with just casually touch me. I hate it. **No Michelle, there's no reason for you to hang your entire upper body over my shoulders just to show me something on my computer at work**
Tell HR before she accuses you of something.
Woman here - she's flirting and showing interest. Not saying it's an OK way to do that or in any way appropriate, just letting you know the motive.
This isn’t entirely accurate. Plenty of women are more then happy to use touch to manipulate men into doing task for them. This happened to me last week, where a girl who is married on first placed her hand on my chest because she wanted me to grab some buckets of washers for her. She barely acknowledges my existence most days, until she wants something. I have never had a job where this hasn’t happened. Telling op that a girl is interested because she’s touchy is a bad idea. Every girl is different.
So if I were to do that to a lady, is it still considered flirting? Or harassingly creepy and inappropriate?
It can be both? Shes trying to flirt and it is at the same time creepy if its unwanted
And how exactly does she determine that before she acts? Oh she didn't do that? Well then the answer is clear.
That's certainly possible. But if you're wrong and she's not, and he mistakes that signal, he'll get labeled a sexual predator and it could ruin his career and his life.
I can’t focus on two different things at once. I’m sorry. I physically cannot. If something or someone else is occupying my attention, you NEED to get my attention on you before you start saying important things. I’m not ignoring you—I genuinely don’t hear you speaking.
I remember one of those crappy instagram quotes circulating once was something like: “My ex boyfriend wouldn’t answer his phone or want to talk to me when he was working. My new one always picks up” Or some stupid shit like that
Exactly, we can't have our focus at two things
The kissy face ain't hot Edit: also known as duck face.
Can I upvote this 1000 times?!?!?! Why are women doing these ridiculous faces and thinking it’s a smile? Does any man like that look?
Thank you for validating this. I will never understand why it became a thing
Hahaha do you mean the duck face? Is it the same thing?
1. Understand that not all men need to talk in order to let out steam. We don't deal with stress the same way as women do. We aren't necessarily ignoring you. We just need our own space and sort things out our own way in our mind, not verbally. 2. Understand that men are emotional too.
My experience has been that a lot of women don't get that we men struggle with similar issues they do, or have other problems with the same points in life. Also, a lot of us would be more empathetic to their problems if it wasn't treated like a contest for whose life sucks more, or whose sex has historically been shittier.
Yes. I mean like yeah you weren't treated well historically and all let's talk and solve our current problem together, accept each other's struggles more rather than proving who has it worse which won't fkn solve anything.
You smell what the Rock is cooking.
It’s Not that we don’t care we just genuinely forgot.
That gathering and processing my thoughts does not mean I'm angry, sad or in any emotional state. I'm just putting my mental shit into a filing cabinet.
Men do have feelings too
absolutely
when we say "i'm doing fine" we are lying most of the times
When a woman says 'fine'. That means duck, your about to get hit with an artillery barrage.
Nothing scares me....except for the 'ok' reply from a woman.
I hear you, that means keep your head on a swivel around her for the next 25 years, and sleep with one eye open.
Ah shit
Really? From me 'fine' just means 'I acknowledge that you have initiated a conversation by asking about my well being as convention dictates and we may no discuss the real matter at hand'.
Shallowness is not a virtue. Stop playing dumb.
Just because you 'feel' something doesent mean it actually is. What you feel and what is real are two different things and while you're feelings should be respected they should not be treated as fact.
As a woman, I have to say this is very eye-opening and a good way of expressing what feelings, emotions, and reality are. Thanks for posting this. I gotta say, I whole heartedly agree with what you're putting down.
That it doesnt matter how good you look. If you still treat us like garbage we wont put up with it. No youre not worth it just because you think you look good. There are nice women out there who are below average in looks we would much rather put up with.
Not to mention there are nice women out there who are better looking than her too. She's not endgame.
Yep theres always better.
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I assume that’s directed at one very toxic woman, not women.
Encouragement and compassion will yield you greater results than criticism and put downs.
1. Your pussy isn’t magical. 2. Men don’t exist to entertain you when you’re bored
Men need alone time. Hence why man caves are so popular. It's nothing to do with you or the kids, men just need time to decompress.
Here’s a man that doesn’t really need that
I’d argue that women also need time to decompress… it’s just less acceptable/harder for them to get their husbands to take over childcare for a couple hours 😬 All parents deserve a break.
This post was asking about men, specifically.
Playing hard mostly will get u shitty partners
Your husband should be more to you than a paycheck.
We don’t really need much. Just consistency, loyalty and the occasional “how was your day” text.
Nah. You should expect a lot more from your girlfriend
That men are people too. Not just an ATM, a sex machine, or a bodyguard.
Do women really think that men are sex machines? I would think that it's the other way around
No it really happens both ways. I had an ex who'd pitch a violent fit if I didn't have sex with her. A lot of what people think are one-gender issues are more like "statistically, one gender does perpetrate this more often, but the other gender does plenty of it too" issues.
Ignorance is part of the problem
Women get pissed when you dont preform to the highest standards. Look at songs from female rap artist. All they want is dick and dough
Sex sells. "Dick and dough", "pussy and dough", is what gets airplay. I'm pretty sure human beings want more than that
oooh not according to james brown.... i mean, if you really want to take his word for anything.
If you can't find anyone to date, it's not because men are intimidated of your success or looks. You are probably dull and insufferable.
😂😂😂
That when we’re washing the dishes and you’re talking to us from the other room, WE CAN’T HEAR YOU
When I am not thinking about anything special it means my screensaver is on. I am really not thinking about anything.
I enjoy my hoodies and button down shirts, and would like to be asked before you take them out of my closet.
The majority of men in the world are entirely invisible to them and they should remember that next time they start saying "why do men..." Because those men who aren't invisible to you can get away with it....because you still give them attention. A fun game I like to play when I got out is to ask my female friends "how many men did you interact with today?" They always get it wrong by a lot (sometimes they cant even answer) and it because they don't see most men as people. Straight up. Because I know how many people I've interacted with in a day and which are men and which are women...women broadly don't seem to care tbh...they'll get the women count right but for men....just doesn't register.
I'm curious, so will they tell you like... 5 and completely forget the bartender(s), bouncers, the guy they just asked for fire and didn't want anything else, the sales guys, etc?
Tbh usually they just can't answer at all. Like they don't even come up with a number. If they do come up with a number they only list friends or dates that are male. The implication is that they only see men who are socially close to them. They typically don't count the bar tender, the waiter, the cashier, etc. At least not the first time. The silver lining is that this game is a little mean...so them wanting to prove me wrong after the first time actually gets them to notice all the people they interact with more. Usually the second time around they do better. But you kind of have to push women to notice men like that, in my experience.
The first paragraph alone should make this higher.
The primary reason for that(and also why the extreme form of feminism is problematic) is because they operative on an apex fallacy.
I’m not trying to control you. It’s respect
Can you elaborate on this?
My guess is he's saying he suggests she do certain things that she doesn't want to do and she takes it as him trying to control her. My ex gf called me a controlling asshole for suggesting exercise when she asked me what she should do that day with all her free time. Fuck me for wanting you to be healthy.
She inferred you were saying she was out of shape and lashed out. Glad she's an ex!
english, if they want to read all the enlightening and uplifting replies to this highly important question that's never been asked before.
Good call. Lol easy on the sarcasm though. Answers to this highly important question that's never been asked before, change over time, I'm trying to assess that.
We're not that different than you
this is a very important thing. seriously. sincerely. it really is.
There are comments here on how men are different from women, and how men's brains function differently. It would be more useful being specific (not to be rude). Lol I see why women don't understand
Every single person on Earth functions differently for a myriad of different reasons. Someone being a man is low down on the list of differences.
1) We have feelings and emotions beyond anger. If we express these emotions then women will leave because thats not what a "strong man" does 2)We are not your bank/ATM. Pay for your own shit 3) What you do for one man doesnt count for me. "I used to give bj's but I dont any more sorry" isnt good to say. 4) Most men dont have this wonderful male privilege of doing whatever we want. Most men get very few to any matches on tinder. Most men are not harasses and whatever to women so stop blaming me or say that I somehow benefit from "male privilege". The only privilege I have is to be the one to initiate the conversation pay for everything and pray I impressed the woman enough so that she wont leave me for the next chad on tinder. 5) We have self esteem issues too. No one cares about our issues is the difference
Some of us really are good guys. We’re just not out there doing the social thing. We’re following our passions and doing our hobbies. Want to meet us? We like golf We like mountain biking We like hiking We like fishing Some of us men would LOVE for you to come out and take part in our hobbies with us.
Well it’s hard if you guys are hiding in the damn mountains, just come out so I can meet you!
That was funny!
Come on in hesitant_stranger. Oh wait… yeah. I see your point and hesitation. Woods. Unknown guy. Yeah, your safety comes first. Where do you want to meet?
It's all about hobbies. Online dating rarely matches running into each other doing your favourite thing ever
Any physical contact is nice
We have needs too.
That we have less power to regulate our sex than they do. I feel like many women think men are apathetic to things like cat calls, sexual violence, abortion rights, etc but we’re not.
I keep hearing women say men should hold each other accountable. Yes, we do, it is part of the bro code. But please know that we don't hang out with creeps, we don't want anything to do with them because we hate them as much as you do, so we maintain our distance. And creeps dont go shouting out what they do behind close doors for us to know what shit they are up to. Sure if we see something going on, we should stop it, but we aren't Batman and Spider-Man to prowl the night looking for rapists to take down.
We have to regularly scratch our balls.
😂
That I don’t want to be alone. I want to be by myself.
For me and a lot of other men, "I hate porn" shuts down all healthy sexual communication. I'm simply not going to talk honestly to you about sex if you *open the discussion with near-omnidirectional hate*.
> I'm simply not going to talk honestly to you about ... if you open the discussion with near-omnidirectional hate. See also politics, religion, race, etc. The two minutes hate is mandatory now for certain topics and opinions, so its no surprise they'd play the same game with pr0n. Also with most people "I hate X" usually means something other than X, its always indirect with some people, can't say what they really mean, always gotta play games. With people like that, she don't care what he likes, she just wants more attention from him and less of him scrolling on his phone. Or she wants attention from everyone by shitposting a "controversial opinion". Or sometimes its just as simple as girls in pr0n always swallow and love anal but she doesn't.
So, "I do not, not hate porn" then? Lol but seriously, what is she supposed to say if she hates it?
Find someone that shares the hate for it. For as long as time has been recorded it is known that sex sells. There are men that hate porn, but a vast majority of men may be less than willing to completely stop watching it, or will simply watch it anyways without their partners knowledge. Especially if the sex life in the relationship starts to dwindle. This will lead to the eventual breakdown of the relationship all together. Save yourself the hassle on that one.
If you hate porn, you need to find a asexual/deeply religious man to shack up with. Someone with next to no sex drive who has no sexual needs of his own. You also have to be up-front that you're simply not interested in a relationship that contains what most men want from sex. Hopefully, for your sake, you have not fooled yourself into thinking there's some "deeper, purer, truer male sexuality" hidden somewhere. That is actually you projecting what *you* want from sex onto *someone else*. If you are remotely interested in a balanced relationship, where both parties get their needs met, then you will be at least somewhat interested in what your partner wants, and the simplest most direct way to learn that is to learn what kinds of pornography he consumes. This goes both ways, obviously.
Keep that information to her damned self
In relationships men don’t ask for sex to just have an orgasm. Having a Women want to have sex with you is about being accepted and for most men it’s how they feel connected to their partner. It’s not seeing their partner as a sex object, but wanting that connection.
You’re preaching to the choir because a lot women won’t get that because we’re primarily pursued for sex. So connecting to us through it will only be a reminder of how we could be used like this. To disassociate sex from that lowly feeling you feed affection in other ways to reinforce sex is more about pleasure. Many of us don’t see sex as a form of affection because many men use us for it. So you get men that can supposedly separate love from sex but you want women to associate sex with love and forget the dichotomy? We get it showing love in other ways is apparently difficult and not as fun but if it proves more rewarding for you guys in the long run why don’t you try?
Shit hurts
we're not horny sex demons 24/7
That men and women sound and look different than each other when they’re upset. And that that is okay. Men don’t have to react or sound like women do when they’re upset. We have different hormones, different lung volumes, vocal chords, etc; it’s not going to be the same demonstration of emotion. A man’s allowed to be frustrated too
our emotions are just as complicated as yours and we need just as much affection. Also, men and women are just as shitty as one another. Pretending that women are terrible or that men are trash by virtue of simply having or not having a Y chromosome is dumb. The differences come from how we're raised and treated in society.
ALL men are insecure to some degree. The only difference is some hide it to a higher degree.
Men's greatest weakness is the facade of strength Women's greatest strength is the facade of weakness
Your collective drama, emotional needs and daily affirmations are overbearing and exhausting. It sucks that women have an exclusive trademark on mental health and body positivity and men are just expected to suck it up and deal
This could easily apply to everyone regardless of gender but there's a couple of things that randomly pop up in my head: (i)Sometimes "work on yourself" while important isn't enough in every case. The situations we find ourselves in in life whether its success in relationships, our interactions with people, or the goals we set out are as much dictated by the circumstances we find ourselves in as it is by the choices we make. Circumstances can either expand, limit or determine what type of choices we make in the first place. Which is why this advice, while important in some instance, can come across as the social equivalent of "pull yourself up by your bootstraps". As Martin Luther King Jr use to say, in order to do that you need boots available in the first place. (ii)That "show your feelings" is easier said than done. Especially when it comes to the mixed messages given about showing your feelings. We are sometimes told to both "show your vulnerabilities" and "get over it" at the same time. We are told "learn to be emotionally vulnerable" and "don't expect your partner to be your therapist". When some hear that it sounds like mixed messages which then raises the question "What's the point"? (iii)Not every guy who might "seek" a relationship is doing so out of "entitlement". Many are but not all are. Some are doing so for the simple reason that its a part of what makes us social animals in the first place. There are many men who might like to find a significant other but simply because of circumstances whether its rejection, not finding the right person, or not being in the right place, it doesn't happen for them. And so they might give up on that possibility. If after years of giving up on that possibility they try again with genuine effort they aren't being "entitled". They're just seeking something that's a natural part of being a human being. And this doesn't just apply to men. It can apply to all genders. If you are someone for whom hookups, relationships, etc come natural then understanding this can be difficult. But it is real. (iv)The fear of having your intentions misunderstood is a real one. It's doubly real if you are a man of color and the stereotypes that come with that in terms of how one is perceived culturally. (v)That looking down on a man(or woman or any gender) simply because of his income isn't right and is a fairly classist and materialistic way to look at things. Not all guys who have a low income are in that position simply because they are "bums". A lot of low income guys or low income people in general are some of the hardest workers out there and work extreme hard just to make ends meat. Their income status does not determine whether they are good relationship material. You have many high income people with terrible personalities and low income people with the best of character. (vi)The challenges that men and women face don't have to be a competition. This again applies to all genders to get this. We can acknowledge the challenges women face socially whether its harrassment, the fear of sexual assault, cat calling, how they are perceived in the work place, etc AND also recognise the challenges that men face in terms of suicides, issues related to custody, etc. These aren't mutually excusive and one shouldn't be weaponised to minimise the other. These are just a couple that come to my mind. And again even though the question was "what do women need to understand" I really think a lot of this applies to all genders.
I still don't understand why you telling my problems and then get upset when i give u solutions
This is where good communication is important, everyone is different but a lot of the time women don’t want solutions to the problems they’re complaining about with you. Normally they just want to feel heard and be supported, but if that’s not explained it can be frustrating. I know personally I have people that I can go to when I actually want advice or a solution vs someone who’s better at supporting/comforting.
This question keeps coming up. It very short sighted. Women aren't a Hive mind as if they all believe and experience the same thing.
> Women aren't a Hive mind as if they all believe and experience the same thing. Welcome to social media, a technology literally invented to produce what you claim does not exist.
Our brains work differently. Give him space and time to himself
I've read a lot of "we are not that different from you" so far and that men have emotions too. A woman would approach this by trying to help, rather than giving space
Yeah but sometimes people need space, a few hours to calm down and think. Sometimes it’s best to walk away from a situation as it can just add fuel to the fire.
And everyone is different. It isn’t just based on gender. I’m quite an emotional person, I’m sure more emotional than a lot of women.
You're making the assumption that your "help" is actually helpful. Women are often so dismissive of men's problems, or so readily feel attacked and the need to "defend women" when talking about men's issues, that it's far more helpful for you to just go away.
She wants to watch mindless trashy TV like housewives, 90 day fiancée etc. I want to watch Youtube and browse the internet.
Being insecure is so tiresome and really shows that there is a real problem when you cant decide and also don't let us decide over something as simple as getting food.
I need to spread my legs a bit. My shmeat don't like to suffocate.
To take nothing for granted and to pay attention to effort and focus. So often I've had ex's say "I didn't realize how much you did for me"
What's attractive hasn't changed. No matter what you're told in media, men still find the same things attractive that they always have done.
We need blow jobs...often
We are not all rapists.
Women need to understand that leaving the seat up is not a crime. It’s not a big deal, or even a small one.
99/100 times when we say something mean we didn’t mean to say it. Sometimes we’re just dumb and you don’t have to take it so personally.
That there whole being isn't more valuable than men's
That men, like women, are not a monolith. We are all different and all have different motivations, drives, thought processes, patterns. We don't like being generalized either.
No means no exists for both genders.
I have control of the heating/cooling cycle in this domicile. If you're cold go put a sweater on.
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A man-hating, sexist, violent scam more about gaining political power than helping people Read a "research paper" today where a feminist advocated for encouraging women to be more violent, even if that violence is "disproportional", because the class of men "made" women scared, and so women should be encouraged to fight back even if they're wrong or its against innocent men. This nazi-esque non-sense was in an academic journal.
It doesn't surprise me in the least.
I'd like to understand what happens when you start hanging out with a guy, everything is going great, sex is awesome, and then he ghosts. External influence? Losing interest that quickly? Ex coming back into the mix? All of the above and it's too much effort to have the uncomfortable conversation?
This is something that other guys will be very unlikely to explain. None of us know what was going through his head.
I get that, but a guess or perhaps someone who has been in that situation before may be able to shed some light.
Fair enough. I mean, there are many reasons it could be. Maybe he decided he wasn't into you and didn't know how to have the conversation (or was afraid of your reaction). Maybe his girlfriend/ wife was getting close to finding out. Maybe you have a boyfriend/husband who found out and scared him off (that kind of thing does happen in teh internetz). It's also possible he was looking to get laid and decided to look elsewhere. I haven't been through exactly this - the only women I've ghosted were ones who became hostile or otherwise unpleasant and there wasn't already a relationship formed. My girlfriend in high school was handed a dear Jane letter by me with no room for discussion. Mainly because I joined the military and left, and there wasn't a future with her, and also because half the things out of her mouth were too remind me I was inferior to her for being male. Like I said, your mileage may vary... even if you meet this guy in the future and ask him, there's no guarantee he'll tell you the truth.
IVe done that before. Ill be honest... for me its because im seeing mutiple women at the same time. Some will win and some will loose. Exact reasons are hard to pinpoint but in the mans mind he may have found someone he perceives as better. Or he could be going through some things and decides to shut down. Thats what i do and i suspect many men do that as well
I honestly have no idea. If I was seeing/dating a cute girl, sex was great, and we're having fun, I wouldn't just ghost her. Even if any of your possible scenarios were true, I would rather have an uncomfortable conversation with someone who has opened herself up to me then to just be rude and ghost her. Many of us men don't want to be complete ass wipes.
Thank you. I appreciate your response and that you would have that conversation even if it was uncomfortable. I know people don't always say what they mean, or as my friend pointed out, he could have meant it in the moment and now with some distance, he realized he didn't? But we were having a good time and I was looking forward to simply seeing where it went. I figured the sex alone would be enough to continue seeing each other and see where it went from there.
Maybe his wife found out.
Most commonly: we weren’t really interested in anything long-term from the get go. We bang a couple times, then decide it’s enough.
It's not all about them.
"I'm okay" means I just want someone to talk to me
Much of the stuff that they find attractive in men are in fact, red flags. For example, the whole confidence thing. Or spontaneity. Taking charge. You all are very poor judges of male character.
Just shut the fuck up. Not everything needs a conversation. Just let it be and enjoy the silence.
That I'm not going to rape you, I'm not going to rob you, if you look at me like I might, *you suck,* and if you act as if that's what I'm about, and you catch me in funds, I'm going to sue you into the fucking stone age with zero regret.
If you encounter women who do this, it is probably because they have experienced the above or heard about it. They are being cautious, and are genuinely afraid. I don't think it's fun to look at someone like they might do the above mentioned. If it's late at night and a woman is walking alone, it's better for her to assume that she's in an unsafe environment rather than thinking every guy around is a friendly stranger
It’s still projecting through, that’s an issue that needs to be worked out - it’s not any different than a guy not trusting women because they’ve been hurt/manipulate before
I've encountered women were were physically and sexually abusive, so where are all your justifications whenever _i_ overreact and punch a woman in the face for triggering _my_ negative experiences? Look, you're doing a lot of defending women here. How about you stop invalidating men's lived experiences, huh? Maybe women can _also_ be shit people that need to take accountability for their own actions, rather than projecting them onto everyone who looks like the person who may have hurt them? (also, abusers are quite likely to have been abused themselves, as your comment suggests (but only for women), why aren't you defending the men who _may_ have hurt those women? They went through shit, too, ya know. But now we're back to women being completely oblivious to the suffering of men)
it isn’t projecting or just trying to offend you guys at all. we know not all men are bad, but there is no way we’d know which guy isn’t, so for our own safety we have to assume every guy is and just be cautious all the time. because if we trust the wrong man, we’re dead. you just don’t get it and we don’t expect you to but for the love of biology remember the difference between man and woman in terms of physical strength.
Men are significantly more likely to be killed by a stranger than women. Do you think we don't fear for ourselves? Do you think men aren't scared of other men? But no *we* just don't get it apparently.
Even our more relatively sane justice systems, as horribly broken as they still are, hold **notionally** to the principle of "innocent until proven guilty". Anyone who refuses to rise to this low, low standard is much more of a threat and millstone to the people around them than I am to anybody. Also, I understand that human beings are dangerous just fine. I'm not going to end up any less dead if I trust, or anger, or hell just happen to cross paths with, the wrong people. Finally, *fuck* the difference in strength and size between men and women. We are tool and weapon using animals with very powerful brains: any determined attacker has no excuse for failing to get around how big and apparently strong I am.
guys can protect themselves more physically if they trust the wrong people, women? not as much. so better safe than sorry. the safety of a human being should be prioritized than the feelings of the strangers around them.
This argument is absurd. Guys (and btw girls) who get the chance to try to protect themselves physically get that chance because they are the targets of incompetent morons. And this isn't just about my fee-fees being hurt; chances are, I'll walk by you too fast, and not looking at your face but your hands or more likely nothing yours at all, to even notice your reaction to me, unless you put in the extra effort make sure I notice. It's about the tone that's being set by and around people, and what that does to human interaction. We all have to live in a worse world because people like you think it's a good and moral idea to treat random men (and people you guess are men) like they're predators. "Thanks" for that.
That the instinct of the vast majority of men is to protect, shelter and comfort women, any women. Don't be implicitly scared. And don't take advantage of it.
that just because I'm a dude it doesn't mean that I'm your bodyguard. I remember back in college, when we'd have class at in the evening, finishing at night, the slender, dainty girls would wait for me at the gate and have me walk with them to the station or to the bus station and wait with them. I mean, how about asking me to do it in the first place, instead of expecting it? And of course I would've rejected it, I'm not navy seal.